What Ails Us All

by ashes_fall

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Drama, Tragedy, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad
Length: 1624

Twilight yearns for the one thing that would ease her troubled mind

Twilight is tired. The Princess of Friendship is no easy title to uphold, and the pressure is on even more.

As she watches the years go by, she feels herself fade a little with each passing turn.

If only her friends were with her to help.

Now the only thing she can do is search for the one thing that would ease her aching heart.
Trigger warning: suicidal thoughts.

Published 2015-02-27 04:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-27 04:00:01 UTC

Oblivion

Oblivion

The mountains of paperwork never seemed to end, as the purple pony princess moaned in irritation, head against the desk. It's hardwood was no where near as comfortable as say, her bed, but it brought temporary relief. Her ears splayed against her head, which pulsed with a gentle yet firm throb, reminding her of her situation. Too many years had passed since Tirek's defeat and peace restored to Equestria. Everypony enjoyed decades of peace, harmony and happiness. She watched from the comfort of her new home as Ponyville grew from the small town it was, into a sprawling suburb of Canterlot, with industry and business reeking in the air. The sky was hardly ever the crystal clear blue it used to be, alternating between a smog covered grey and its normal color. Many large companies and businesses had come to Ponyville, seeing opportunity and promise.

But something felt, off.

She shook her head slightly, closing her eyes as her head continued to pound. Her half-lidded, dazed eyes scanned the city's skyline, her vision replacing them with pictures of Ponyville some odd years ago: the tiny homes nestled together, ponies happily bouncing around , chatting merrily with one another. She smiled, a stray tear streaking down her muzzle and landing silently on the crystal floor. She saw her friends, the 5 mares she'd known for most of her life. They cheered and welcomed her into Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie offering her favorite flavor cupcake. Rainbow Dash and Applejack were hoof wrestling at the nearby table, their faces contorting and laughing all the way, Fluttershy timidly padding her way around the two mares, Angel bunny nestled in her mane. Rarity bounced into the small cafe wearing her newest design, prancing gallantly around as Spike mindlessly followed her.

Twilight smiled as the memory faded, coming back to reality slowly. She closed her eyes as the tears came, her body trembling from the almost overpowering emotion that flooded through her. She had been there for them, every day of every week, until the end.

Friendship is Magic...Right?

Years had passed, the days ran together, mostly due to her staying up late and getting up early for various duties and tasks. She knew that she would give anything to have them back, even relinquish her own alicorn status that she had worked years to achieve.

The harsh reality weighed heavily on her mind, constantly bringing her subconscious into the dark abyss that she had feared for so long. She had considered ending it all several times, being almost constantly overwhelmed by her friends passing one by one, each one only adding to the torment and emotional breakdown. She felt her reality slipping from her each day that passed. Celestia had warned her not to become to emotionally attached to someone or something. This was the price of immortality.

Twilight hadn't thoroughly listened to Celestia's advice, and before being told this often wondered why Celestia and Luna were so removed on some sad or otherwise taxing occasions. And never receiving a straight answer from either didn't help. She gave a heavy sigh as night began to fall, returning to cozy chambers of her castle. As she walked slowly down the long hallway, her mind wandered through the dreamscape, memories of years gone by flashing before her eyes. Nightmare Moon, Discord, Sombra, Tirek; they were all there, clear as the Moon in the night sky. The 6 of them had been through virtually every situation, logic and friendship always triumphing over any form of evil. And as the years went by, she realized the one thing that not even friendship could defeat.

Time.

She and her friends had been on a long climb to the top for a long time, never seeking to recognized as national heroines or anything. Simply doing the right thing and protecting those who they cared about was the only satisfaction they needed. The purple mare thought back to the day of her coronation, continuing to take a right turn and continue down another long hall. She had to admit, she was overwhelmingly happy and honored that Celestia had chosen her, but it felt hollow. She remembered that as she stood next to Celestia and Cadance, everypony cheering, Luna remained her normal stoic self, occasionally giving Twilight a caring glance. Everypony was happy for her, but Twilight didn't know whether she was happy for herself or not. She had reached her goal; the end of the trail, the fork in the road. She didn't know what to do next.

Some say that if you are so focused on achieving one set goal, you will not know what to do when you have earned it. And Twilight felt this exact way almost everyday since her coronation, wearing a fake smile for all to see. Coming to two huge crystallized doors, her horn lit up on habit and gently swung the giant doors open, the left one creaking as it came to a halt. In front of her was the throne room, a round table with 7 chairs around it, all covered by heavy tarps. Dust flew everywhere as she lifted them one by one, revealing the thrones emblazoned with their own cutie mark, still sparkling as much as they did years ago. She felt a new wave of emotion come crashing over her, as she collapsed in the middle of the room, her body shaking, ears splayed. More memories flashed in her mind's eye, giving her vivid reminders of what once was.

The large circular room was ghostly quiet, only broken by her sobs. Applejack's words still ringing in her head.

...but it's something much bigger that will always keep us connected...

Quietly regaining her footing, she took her hooves, and stood there in silence, her eyes scanning each of the sparkling thrones. A smile creeped across her muzzle as draped the tarps back over them, their beauty being concealed until the next time she needed

them. Turning to leave the throne room, she stopped at the entrance only for a moment, exhaling and closing her eyes as she dragged the heavy doors shut with her magic.

Turning left down the hall, she walked slowly along as one question burned in her mind.

Should I do it?

Countless doors with purposes unknown to her now passed by her, wings tightly folded against her body. Her horn illuminated the grey hallway once more, only accompanied by the Moon's shining glow. She rarely slept in her designated room, as she usually fell asleep face first in a pile of books. Entering her bedroom, she remained stationary as she glanced around, her gentle gaze falling on what she was looking for.

Applejack's lasso.

Tried and true, it had helped them on many of their epic adventures, always remaining loyal and steadfast through the years.

She remembered the weathered earth pony giving it to her as her final parting gift. Twilight opened the lasso's display, carefully shutting the glass door behind it. The Moon's rays fell on the young alicorn's back, making the brown lasso seem to glow. She ran it over her hooves, feeling its rough textures brush against her fur.

Her ear twitched as she sat there, hearing a faint sound echo through the castle walls. She didn't move, her gaze still locked onto the lasso in her hooves. She had release in her grasp, easily able to ease her aches and sorrows permanently. It was a solution that she could not come back from, no matter how many spells she was familiar with. Righting herself, she stood up, the lasso still clutched in her right hoof as she walked to the window, gazing out the stain glass at the predictably crystal clear night arranged in front of her. It filled her heart with warm emotion, her eyes sliding shut as she remembered flying through the evening skies with Rainbow Dash, learning to fly.

Without opening them again, her horn lit the room and levitated the lasso above her, forming the knot effortlessly and silently. Two tears escaped her eyes as she opened them again, coming face to face with her reckoning. It was right there in front of her, and with the final cinch placed and pulled, she stared at the rope for a long minute, completely silent.

Another small sound caused her ears to pivot around, intently listening for another sign. Nopony else would have been in the castle this time of day, at least nopony that she knew of. Looking back at the lasso; her ailment, her release, her end, her silent cries hushed forever, she dropped the lasso on the floor, it landing with a soft thud. Even though she was at the top, there was still so much to see and do in life.

She placed it back in its case, gently sliding the delicate door shut, locking into place with a small click. Laughter floated through her castle walls as the pitter-patter of small hooves echoed on the crystal floor. She smiled, placing her hoof on the glass display, a single tear streaming down her muzzle.

A loud knock broke her train of thought at the end of her bedroom's corridor, forcing her to focus on that instead. Reluctantly, she walked away from the rope and the other trinkets that her friends had left behind, new found warmth permeating her heart. As she reached the heavy door, she stopped, hearing the giggling of a filly she recognized all too well. A warm smile broke across her face as her mind put together the pieces. Just before pushing open the door, she took one last look back at her now dark room, a stray ray of moonlight shining on the lasso's case.

"Always."