Farewell to the Moon
The night air was crisp and peaceful as the moon rose over the horizon. The night before, its surface had been blank, it’s pale silver face unblemished in its radiance. But the scars it bore tonight stood as a testament to the events of recent events. Looking up at it, I tried and failed to suppress my tears. I harbored no illusions about how seeing that haunting visage emblazoned upon the once-perfect orb of light would affect me. I knew this night would bring me sorrow. And I knew that I would feel that sorrow ever night henceforth, for as long as I lived.
On that night, the moon stood as a reminder of my sins. After all, was it not my fault that its surface had been marred? Had I arrived here but a day earlier, perhaps all of this could have been avoided. Or perhaps not. Who was I to believe that I stood even the slightest chance of altering the passage of events that had changed our world forever?
I first saw her when I was young. I remember that time well. It was the hundredth Spring Sunrise since the beginning of the princesses’ reign. That year, they had travelled to the city of Cloudsdale, to visit their subjects, and receive gifts from the young schoolfillies that I was a member of. I remember our young blind classmate, a mare by the name of Snowdrop presenting her gift of the first snowflake to the princesses. But more than anything, I remember seeing her for the first time, seeing the pain in her eyes as Snowdrop spoke to the two of them about winter’s place in the world, and how it deserved to be appreciated. Something changed within me in that moment. Some small spark of light ignited in my heart, and a flickering flame of sad compassion burned within my heart for many years to come.
It was many years before I was prepared to make my journey to Everfree Castle. Every night between the day of my first encounter with her, and the day of my departure, I stayed up to look at the night sky in wonder. Before then, I had never noticed the beauty of the night sky. Once I had, I began to understand the princess’s sorrow. Nopony else seemed to notice how much care and effort the princess put into bringing the night sky to life. Where others saw only darkness, I saw lights, dancing in the sky. I saw the stars, and the shapes they formed, just as the princess had intended. I basked in the soft light of the moon, so different than the harsh light of the sun. Before long, my peers and family alike had begun to question my sanity, for they were still ignorant of what they missed above them every night. I tried to show some of them, but it was in vain. They were too enthralled with the energy of the day’s light to understand the calmer, more soothing light of the night. The day I left home on my exodus to Everfree Castle, I had but one goal in mind: Gain an audience with Princess Luna, and speak to her regarding her night sky. I had no idea how I would gain this audience, but I understood the importance of doing so. That sadness I saw in her eyes so many years before… That sadness was born of loneliness. I felt a deep urge, a call to duty within my heart. I felt a need to speak with her, to let her know that her work in the sky had not gone unnoticed, and that she was not the only one who understood the beauty of the night. If I could achieve but that one, single task, I would be happy. It wasn’t until now that I understood that that was not the extent of my hopes. For in truth, I had fallen in love with the Princess of the Night. And that love has brought me naught but sorrow.
I flew away from home late at night, and saw the castle’s moonlit silhouette as the night began to reach its end. It was then that the sky lit up with light, and the castle shone brightly with energy and began to crumble in upon itself. I saw the ball of shining, multicolored light as it rose out of the castle and into the night sky. And it was all I could do to stay aloft in the sky as I saw the image that now rested upon the moon’s surface. Ultimately, I was too late, although I doubt that I could have done anything to help. As the sun rose the next morning, I heard rumors through the streets of Ponyville of what had happened: How Princess Luna had succumbed to her inner demons and transformed into a monstrous being of darkness and hatred. I heard the ponies scoff at her downfall, others happy that there now remained only the Princess of the Day to watch over us. I listened as Princess Celestia arrived to give a speech to the townsfolk, telling them that her sister was gone, banished to the moon for a thousand years to come. Looking into the princesses eyes, I could see the sorrow she held within. Like me, she blamed herself for what had happened. Unlike me, she had a duty to her people to fulfill, a duty that gave her the strength to contain that sorrow. I did not have that strength. Leaving the town with tear-filled eyes, I found the field of flowers in which I now sit, and waited for the night to come.
I don’t know what I had hoped to achieve. The princess had no reason to grant me the audience I had sought, especially if her heart had succumbed to grief as thoroughly as the townsfolk had said. Even if she had, what could I have done to help her, what words could I have said to change her fate? She didn’t even know me. To her, I was just another pony who saw her at the Spring Sunrise all those years ago. If even her sister, a goddess of nigh-limitless power could not save her, then what chance did I stand? I was a fool to even come here. I’m not a hero. I had no right to try and alter the course of fate.
Looking up at the moon, I let out a deep sigh. I felt the weight of my mistake upon my back, and I knew that this moment would haunt me for the rest of my life. Standing up, I walked forward and began to beat my wings, letting the m lift me into the sky, and carry toward the light of the moon. I flew higher and higher, watching the ground grow smaller before me. Looking up at her image upon the moon, I knew that I would never see her again. I did not bear the curse of immortality that she bore, and I knew that no amount of magic would allow me to live through the ages to when she might return. Even when she did, it would be too late. The damage would already be done. I wondered if she too pondered what I did as I rose up higher and higher into the night sky.
I never took my eyes off of the night sky, even as I folded my wings against my side and began my descent. Feeling the wind rustle through my feathers, I felt the tears stream down my face to the fast-approaching earth below. Looking at the moon one last time, I closed my eyes and whispered a final prayer as my end drew near. I didn’t feel a thing as my journey reached its conclusion.
“I’m sorry.”
