A Dim Light

by InsanitysRequiem

Rating: mature
Tags: Sad, Alternate Universe, Romance
Length: 2136

After a failed attempt at leaving this world Pinkie tries to cheer him up.

This story tells a tale of how somepony, blocked out from society, earns a friend and starts living in the world and learns to be more open. Lets just hope that doesn't bite him back in the end.
Mature and au to be safe
Image from This guy.
If this doesn't get updated often it's probably because I have lost motivation again.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-07-19 22:30:01 UTC

My parents?

"Yay! Friendsies!" Pinkie shouted as she crushed me within her iron grip.

"Pinkie, you're... Crushing... Me..." I tried to say as the rest of my breath was spent.

"Oh, right. How long are you supposed to be in here anyway?" Pinkie asked curiously.

"In a few days Pinkie, it won't kill you, all you have to do is wait." Twilight said in a slightly irritated tone over what transpired recently.

We sat there in silence for a good hour or so. I started drifting off thinking of how  this happened, how I failed. If I did it a little earlier I would have been able to do it, I would have been able to succeed for once, but of course I failed. I always fail.

The sound of a door opening broke my train of thought, which was probably for the best. It was the doctor, I didn't understand what she said though since I was still kinda drifting off, but next thing I know Pinkie and Twilight were leaving my room. Pinkie looked worried but before I could see how worried she was she was out of the room. The doctor turned out the lights and left, there wasn't anyone else in my room so there were no other distractions to preoccupy me. It would be so easy to do it again, to try again. No one was here to stop me, and hell, I'm just using medical supplies someone else could be using. I looked for something I could use, but the only thing I saw were cords and a glass filled with juice from earlier. That would work fine, Just somehow break the glass without causing a commotion and that would be that.

I tried to think of a way to break it silently, but how do you do that? Break something silently? Easily in fact. I decided to try and tap the glass on the counter thing next to me harder with each hit, and it worked because eventually I managed to get a pretty sizable shard separated. I waited to make sure no one heard, and after waiting I started grazing my wrist. After two or three cuts I decided to plunge the shard deep into my wrist, hoping to finally succeed. After the second deep cut I couldn't continue and decided to try and sleep, but after a second my mind started racing about what i'm doing, how everything could have gotten better. My heart started racing which caused the heart monitor to beep quickly, in turn causing my heart to race even faster and before I knew it the door burst open to more doctors than I had ever seen put me under with something I couldn't quite get a good look at.

Before I knew it I was awake, but this time it didn't look like anyone was in my room other than me. Then without a moments notice the door was opened by a purple aura which could only be made by Twilight. At least it wasn't Pinkie, she would be fuming if she knew what happened. The second I thought that a not so bright pink pony walked through a few moments after Twilight. I was starting to panic as I thought of all that could happen, but before I could get through the fifth one Pinkie broke the silence.

"Why? Why do it again?" Pinkie said in a very irritated tone, her mane not flat but not poofy.

"I- Sorry." I said noticing how tense the air was. I looked at Twilight, she was sitting down and it seemed she didn't care what Pinkie would do. I tried to find the button to get the doctors but the second Pinkie saw she walked over, took it and placed it out of reach. She looked straight into my eyes and I saw the burning hate she had towards me, as if she wanted to punch me into oblivion. I wouldn't doubt it.

"You will answer me this time, I talked to Twilight and she agrees with me. Now answer me." Pinkie said with more venom than a rattlesnake.

"I didn't mean anything by it, I just thought-" I tried to continue speaking but Pinkie cut me off.

"Well you thought wrong, and where are your parents anyway? Shouldn't they be here?" Pinkie seemed to forget her anger for a moment when the question came to mind.

"My parents?" I asked wondering why she had brought it up. I didn't want to think about it though, I needed a way to change the subject.

"You know what, I don't care, do whatever you want. Just leave me out of it." Pinkie said with tears now in her eyes. She stormed out of the room and Twilight shot me a deathly stare then proceeded to leave the room. I was left alone with my thoughts, and again, I didn't know what to do. For the longest time I sat there. I pondered what to do, what I could have done for it was obvious that they didn't care anymore, I had ran them away. I did another thing that would end it, and the consequence was losing the only friends I have now.

I was to be checked out tomorrow, and I dreaded it. Having to be seen out in the open with bandages all along my wrists. The looks of those,  the pity, the disappointment I would be to everyone... I didn't want to see tomorrow, but I didn't have a choice, everything that wasn't necessary was removed from the room. I wasn't allowed to keep food in my room without supervision due to the plastic ware being dangerous. Bullshit. "Dangerous" is an understatement. I won't delve into it though, because it was midnight already and I didn't want to stay awake any longer, but I knew sleep wouldn't happen. It never does.

Time to leave.

Today was the day. The day to see all of those faces that show remorse and pity. The worst would be Pinkie's expression. She hates me and I know it. I just need to get to my house quickly enough to not be noticed, to do what I have done for years. I was going to think on it some more but before I could the door was opened and one of the nurse ponies said it was time to go. So I started walking, trying to avoid as much eye contact as possible, and I nearly did it, but as I passed Sugarcube Corner I felt a sharp pain coming from me tail. I was in the store now and the pain was gone. What I saw before me had chills going up my spine, it was Pinkie. Her mane and tail were flat. The rumors I had heard from just within earshot had made me very fearful. I didn't know what would happen and all I could think of was to get out of here.

I tried to see who else was here, and it seemed that Pinkie was the only one. I tried to get back up, still wanting the same goal. I was about to fully stand up before she put her hoof on my shoulder.She started hugging me, something I didn't expect.

"I'm sorry. I am so sorry, I shouldn't have done that." She said, still hugging me. I couldn't respond, I couldn't even think. Besides, what was I supposed to say? "Please, don't do it again." I was still at a loss for words. "You can stay with me you know, instead of being alone, and I would feel more comfortable knowing you were alive."

"I-I'm not sure." I finally said, a little shocked at what she said. "Besides, I should be going. I am pretty tired." I tried to seem tired, still slightly scared of something bad happening.

"Can I at least join you? Maybe I could help around, fix the place up." I agreed, and she seemed to cheer up a little. As we made our way to my house, I noticed some looks. I tried to ignore them but I couldn't. Soon we were at my house. Apparently the door was unlocked, which had me worried. "Wow, this place looks horrible!" I heard Pinkie state.

"Sorry about that. I didn't really think anyone would be over." I replied, slightly pained by what she said. I proceeded up to my room, everything was still as it was, just with an added stain. I was wondering how exactly I was supposed to clean this up, or if I should just get a new bed entirely. Pinkie followed me up and stopped once she entered the room.

"I think I'm gonna clean up the living room first." Pinkie said before hurrying downstairs. I proceeded to move all of the stained things into a pile on the bed. I looked around to see if anything else was stained and the only other thing I found was the floor. I found a basket of sorts and crammed the pile into it. Once I brought it downstairs I placed it by the door, wondering if I could do anything with it.

"Uh, Pinkie? You know anywhere I could put this? I probably have to get new ones." I gestured to the basket by the door. Pinkie seemed to be distracted by something, but what was unknown to me. After I walked up to her I realized she was spacing out, daydreaming maybe.

"The offer still stands, you could stay with me. You don't have to stay here in this... place anymore." She said almost in a mumble.

"I still don't know, it will seem weird. Besides, you live in a bakery so I don't think there would be enough room." I tried to explain. She didn't listen asking why it was weird. "They may not even allow it and I don't even have a job, let alone enough money to pay them." I said in a vain attempt to not cause a hassle.

"You don't have to worry about that stuff, I am pretty sure they will allow it. We can get you a job, so trust me. Stay with me for now, I promise you won't be a bother." Once she said that, I couldn't respond. The second time today.

"Okay, only for a little bit though." As soon as I said that she tackled me and knocked the wind out of me. I had to pry her off me. "Let me get something first." I proceeded upstairs to get something, the last thing I have from before I was like this. It was a picture of me and him. I kept it all this time, why? I had no clue. We were on our way to Sugarcube Corner in no time, I was anxious to say the least. I held the picture in my mouth, not having anywhere else to keep it. Once we passed the library I asked Pinkie if we could get something from here first.

"You want me to hold that while you go in and get a book?" She said, confused as to why I was just holding it in my mouth. I nodded, handing it to her. I entered the library looking for Daring Doo and the Diamond Pony named Butt Stallion, but once I started looking, I bumped into Twilight. It seemed she knew I was here and wanted me to stop.

"What are you doing here?" I heard Twilight say. "You aren't allowed here, after what you did I would think you'd know that." She said in a menacing voice. "Leave. Now." I opened my mouth to protest but it seemed she didn't care. There went my chances at distraction. I had made my way outside and found that Pinkie was standing there, but no sign of my picture.

"Where is the picture?" I asked Pinkie, slightly panicked that I may have lost the last memento to times before now. She rustled around in her mane and pulled it out before putting it back.

"Did you not get a book? You seemed to really want one before you went in." She said, slightly confused.

"I couldn't find it, lets just keep going." I started walking in the direction of Sugarcube Corner before she stopped me.

"You weren't even in there for thirty seconds! Is this about Twilight? Will she not let you get a book?" She seemed surprisingly awestruck.

"Look, we can try again later, for now lets just keep going." I managed to reason with her and we were almost there. I heard her muttering ahead of me, and I almost ran into her once she abruptly stopped. Turns out we were there. Once she opened the door a waft of sweet smelling air hit me.