A seat for our worries

by RanOutOfIdeas

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad, Other
Length: 2079

The friends we leave behind without choice are the ones who hurt the most. Luna finds that out while sitting on a normal looking bench.

To leave a friend we always held dear is painful. But to be forced out of their lives for the sins you made just makes things worse.

Luna was just walking on the gardens when she finds an unusual looking bench. From there on she finds out what she really lost because of her Nightmare.

Published 2015-02-28 04:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-02-28 04:00:02 UTC

Relinquish the good memories

It was a cool night, the gentle breeze waving through the air and the nightlight iluminating the small fountains all over Canterlot. The moon was high in the sky, a full moon only Luna could make. Celestia's were always... dull, as if the seventh simphony was being played by a worn ciello and bad drums. Nonetheless, tonight was, as all the other nights made by her, truly magnificent.

Speaking of The Night Lady, she was having a delightfull 'breakfast' with her sister on the main dining chamber. Such chamber was tall as all others (castles were meant to make you feel tiny), with six marble pillars supporting the roof, both with very intricate XVII's gravures along their borders, and a big garmented chandelier wich iluminated the once dark room. The table had a U form, and at the very turn sat both monarch's of the Sun and Moon facing the entrance, respectively. It was rather quiet, a silence that was welcome by Luna but not by Celestia.

"So, sister, how does it feel to eat pancakes at dinner?" asked Celestia in a calm tone, trying to make small talk "I know it was your dream to do that since we were fillies."

"It is not as rewarding as W...I hoped, it would seem." spoke Luna, but not without slipping at the 'Royal We' first. A slip made rather aware by her sister, who raised an eyebrown.

"Still having trouble with the modern way of speaking?" asked Celestia, with a concerned tone.

"Spend thousands of years away from the community, and it shall leave you behind" said Luna

Both of them went rigid at Luna's statement, the banishment still fresh in their minds.

"We..uh...I will go for a stroll...Good night" spoke Luna with a nervous expression, she did not want to talk about that with her sister just yet.

The gardens were clean as ever, with few leaves on the short grass, with the wind gently caressing Luna's soft coat along with the minor branches on the trees. The skies were rather clean, with no clouds keeping the ponies from gazing at the stars; an astronomer's dream indeed. While she strolled through the peeble path with rocks lightly crushing under her hooves, Luna gazed around: she still hadn't come to this section of the garden yet. While Celestia gave her a personal tour, they weren't able to go through all of the castle.

"A pity," she murmured, "I know this would be a perfect place for us both"

The clearing she had come to was flooded by the moon's gentle light with a single ornamented bench in the middle of the wildlife. To her left there were dark flowers with different shades of blue, gray and purple while on her right there were more light coloured sunflowers together with some she had never seen before. The bench, while clearly acclaimed by the grass at its bottom, was perfectly clean and it's stone very polished.

With nothing else to do (Night court wouldn't be for a while), Luna sat on the bench. It was cold, as every other stone bench, but it had a certain charm in its coldness...as if giving an innocent air when in contact with Luna's coat. The armrest was different, though, it felt as if it would perfectly fit her hooves and nobody's else, as if she was meant to be there. What was up with that bench?

"Intriguing" Luna said aloud with a raised eyebrown.

And as soon as it came, the feeling was gone like a candle blown away by the wind. Only to be replaced by something else. It began as an inaudible sound, which could be shrugged of as the leaves by the wind, but soon it escalated into a different, more familiar sound. A sound that the Night Princess' well trained ears capted almost immediately.

Luna jerked her head up with a surprised expression, "Are those...bells?"

Yes, now that she was paying attention she could hear the faint sound of round bells jingling off in the distance.

'What does it mean?' tought Luna while she got up from her comfortable seat.

She looked around the small clearing, trying to pinpoint the source. But she couldn't. It sounded as if the bells were originating inside her head and moving their way around her. It wasn't constant, but rather two times a round like somebody strapped bells around a cow's neck and made her walk.

And then it hit her: those bells... they sounded exactly like-

"Starswirl..." Luna murmured with a look of shock as a tear rolled down her cheeks. Right before her was The Bearded himself. Perhaps while she looked away he appeared, or perhaps he was always there to begin with and she just didn't know.

"Is that... is that really you Starswirl?" Luna asked, hopeful and afraid at the same time, as more tears made their way out. Those tears were droplets of a river of emotion stirred inside of Luna that clashed within itself. Happiness of seeing her old teacher and friend, fear of what he might think of her actions seeing that he was there and witnessed it himself; but more than anything; sadness.

Luna had come to understanding that everybody she knew died long ago and that their last memory of her was the twisted form she took the day she betrayed harmony. She didn't have many friends, at maximum colleagues and subjects. But Starswirl was the one true, trusting friend Luna had come to know. He always was there for her, taught her almost all she knows about history and the unicorns, protected her even from those that wanted her out. Compelling, trustful, friend. Always went against death for his goals and proved everyone who doubted him wrong. If it wasn't for him, Luna would have succumbed to the Nightmare long before, but even then, with him out on 'a mirror crusade' with Celestia, she couldn't stop things from happening.

And he was standing right in front of her, with his everlasting marble beard hanging from his muzzle. A flowing river of hair would do it more justice. Infinite amounts of knowledge and years of wisdom even Luna could only hope to achieve resided in his old, yet dashing, sunset colored eyes. Some say if you gaze into the abyss, it shall gaze into you; and those eyes, while caring and gentle, had a strong grip and regret behind them; those eyes were the ones who gazed into the abyss and jumped down into it if just to stall the inevitable.
His mouth was quite well for his age, with perfect white teeth and no damage what-so-ever. His hat was a little off, as always; he was never very organized; he would rather let the books scattered around on his desk than letting them rest on dusty, square shelves. Twilight Sparkle would be horrified at knowing her idol hated books being organized.

"Books were made for ponies to read them, not to appreciate their looks from a shelf!" He once said.

Luna couldn't believe it! He was there, right in front of her! And yet...he wasn't.
She could see through him as if he was glass. His eyes were unfocused, as if he didn't aknowledge she was even there, rather, thinking where he left his hat. His old, bony forelegs were not even moving. His mouth not wearing his usual smile that would lift anybody's mood.

But he was there right? She could see him! Touch him! But... even then he wouldn't budge.
She tried calling him, waving her forelegs at him, everything. She even scanned him with her magic, but it would come back as if nothing was wrong.

She couldn't hold it, her eyes long blurred by the water that tore her heart and soul. Face drenched with stained tears and a shaking body as if, deep inside, she was going through a snowstorm that scratched her conscious bare.

Bleeding years of memories and happiness, Luna threw her forelegs around him, hugging him as hard as she could on her actual state, all the while muttering between sobs of great pain:

"I'm sorry...I s-should have s-stoped...I'm s-so so sorry! Please f-forgive me even though I don't deserve the forgiveness y-you always carried around w-when you where with me"

Luna didn't know how long she stood there, time was a meaningless way of measure and guilt for the things you could've but didn't, but neither did she care. Right there and then she cried thousand years of sorrow into a shade of a once great pony, all the while wishing she could at least say goodbye to her dear friend.

"Please come back." Luna whispered calmly now, with her eyes shut tightly, so silently so only her and Starswirl were the ones to understand all the meaning behind three simple words.Or so she tought.

"You really miss him, don't you?" said a serene voice, some regret and concern bleeding through the tone she always used.

Luna whipped her head back, only to be met by her sister. Only that she wasn't with her usual mask she wore to the public. You could see the sorrow in her eyes and the sad smile she had.

Luna calmed down, breathing heavily, but steadily. She did not want to be seen as weak even in front of her sister.

"I just wish I could have stood by his side on his last hours and said goodbye" Luna spoke with a heavy heart, sadness on her face.

"He never blamed you, you know" Celestia said while looking up at the stars, lost in thought.

"What?" Luna asked, clearly dumbfounded by her sister's statement.

Celestia chuckled and looked down at her sister. She was always cute when she was asking for things she did not know.

"Starswirl never put you in blame for what happened, if anything, he understood your unappreciation and blamed himself for not trying harder"

Luna couldn't believe it. Even after long gone, Starswirl still surprised her with his kind and caring heart.

"Oh that stallion..." Luna said dreamly with a light chuckle.

Celestia added a chuckle of her own before smiling down at her sister, knowing very well what she meant.

"Yes, he was stubborn wasn't he?"

"Certainly...remember that time he exploded the tower because he thought he could create a memory potion alone?" Luna said as good memories flooded her mind.

"I sure do. It took us months to get the tower out of quarantine!" Said Celestia with a big smile. It then went away and she looked down.

"Luna,look at me..." She said now serious.

"Hmm? What is it?" Luna asked, uncertain why the mood change.

"Starswirl never stopped loving you. He always forgave you for what you did... but he also wanted you to forgive yourself."

Luna also looked down. Even now, she wasn't sure if she deserved forgiveness at all. It was her punishment to never be forgiven, wasn't it? The dark Princess and her dark deeds...

Celestia noticed this and sighed. "Luna, Starswirl told that even in death, people are not truly dead. As long as you remember them, they will always live... with you, in your heart..."

"Relinquish the good memories and guard the bad ones, right?" Luna asked, remembering that lesson long ago.

"Quite."

'I think,' Luna tought, 'I think I can forgive myself, if only for you..."

Luna turned to her sister, and with great relief to both of them, nuzzled her with affection. Celestia was surprised by this: Luna was never very affectionate.

"Thank you." Whispered Luna to her big sister.

"It's not a problem, little sister. Now, do you want to finish your 'breakfast?" Asked Celestia.

"What? It's been hours since I left!" Exclaimed Luna. She ate hours ago right?

"Hmm... No, it's just been five minutes. Do you not want to come?" Asked Celestia, puzzled.

"But...Nevermind. I would love to." Luna answered

"Very well"

But before she took off, Luna looked back to Starswirl. Five minutes? Impossible...Nonetheless, she would now get 'breakfast', now that her appetite had come back in full force.

And as she flied off, Starswirl turned his head with a smile, while fading into the unexistence.

"Goodbye, Luna."

Author's Note

Well, here it is.
There is probably grammar errors here and there, feel free to point them out.
Constructive criticism is always welcome.

Oh! and if you didn't like it, please tell me why :D