She didn't know what to do. She'd found Twilight's diary of all things, the one object of Twilight's woe prior to Scootaloo's visit. What was she supposed to do? She could have called out to Twilight and told her that she'd found the diary, but how would she explain being in her room in the first place? She could have casually pointed it out in her next conversation, which would mean having to leave the room first.

As her mind began to stick to that idea, she grabbed the diary, tucking it under her wing, which was just big enough to hide it. As her legs carried her over to the exit, another idea began to form in her head; one that didn't have time to formulate as Scootaloo almost bumped into Twilight herself. Feeling like she'd just been caught with her hoof in the cookie jar, Scootaloo panicked, much the same way Twilight had earlier that day.

"Oh! H-hey, Twilight. What's up?" she asked, eyes wide and ears perked.

Twilight just looked at the filly with uncertainty. "Uh... nothing? What are you doing in my room? You get lost or something?" she asked. Scootaloo saw this as an opportunity to escape suspicion. It was also an opportunity to give Twilight her diary. But something in the back of her mind stopped her from doing the latter.

"Uh, kind of. I was looking for you and thought you might be in one of the rooms. I didn't know which was which, so I started with this one." she said, putting on a fake smile. It wasn't entirely a lie. In fact, it wasn't a lie at all. That was her intention from the beginning, she just omitted the truth about the diary, which really hadn't even been brought up.

Scootaloo quickly realised that she was panicking. Too much to even realise what she was panicking about. "That makes sense." Twilight said, getting her attention. "Even I have trouble navigating this place. It's still so new to me. Come on, I'll show you to your room." she said. Scootaloo let out a relieved sigh and followed the Princess to the room next door. A short trip to be sure, but Scootaloo found it long enough to compose herself. She didn't like lying to Twilight, but for some reason, she felt she had to know what was in Twilight's Diary. She was still a filly after all. Surely if Twilight caught her, she'd understand idle curiosity.

Scootaloo marvelled at the sight before her as Twilight opened the door to reveal the room she was going to be staying in. The place was as large as the room the orphans stayed in together. Such a large amount of space. To say that there was elbow room would be like saying there was water on the planet. It just didn't do the real thing justice. Scootaloo was in such a stupor at the sight that she almost dropped Twilight's Diary from under her wing.

"It's amazing!" she said, choosing to sit down in the middle of the room and just take it all in. Twilight giggled and sat down next to her.

"I'll admit, it's a major improvement to the Library, though I do miss the smell of oak that came with the place. I guess the spoils of war don't quite make up for what was lost. Still, the place does make my life just a bit easier." she said, standing up again to lead the filly to her bed. It was a king size four poster bed with that drapery hanging overhead that rich pony beds were famous for. It was all just too much for Scootaloo. She felt like she didn't belong, but at the same time, she wanted to belong. It was the same feeling she got when she saw Rainbow Dash flying overhead, defying gravity and physics. Scootaloo wanted nothing more than to be up there with her, conquering the skies with her idol.

Twilight helped Scootaloo up onto the bed and moved the covers away for her to slide into. Scootaloo made sure not to unravel her wings as she wriggled her way under the covers. Were it her bed in the orphanage, she would have given her feathers all kinds of hell, but the silk just slid past her, leaving the feathers unharmed and her pain receptors silent. She sighed at the good feeling she got from it all. As the covers were placed over her, Scootaloo found herself looking up to Twilight with sleepy eyes.

"Thanks, Twilight." she said. Twilight just smiled sweetly at the filly and leaned down to kiss her on the forehead. It was an unusual gesture that Scootaloo wasn't familiar with, but she found herself liking it all the same.

"Goodnight, Scootaloo." sh said with a gentleness that Scootaloo instinctually compared with that of a mother. As Twilight was about to leave the room, Scootaloo found herself addressing the mare.

"Hey Twilight?" she called, earning another glance from the alicorn. She had the kindest smile Scootaloo had ever seen on a pony, even more so than Fluttershy, and that was saying something. "Do you... wanna hang out tomorrow?" she asked.

A gentle chuckle left Twilight's lips as she looked at the filly. "Tomorrow's Saturday. What better time is there for friends to hang out together?" was all she said before leaving, the door closing behind her. Scootaloo smiled at the prospect of a day out with Twilight and immediately went to open her diary, hoping to find something that would give her a hint as to what they might both enjoy doing tomorrow.

As she opened to the first page, she discovered that the crystal wall in the room began to illuminate just enough for her to be able to read the words while the rest of the room darkened. It was official, she loved this place.

The Diary of Twilight Sparkle

Entry: 1 - Date: 1/3/1001 A.L

Dear Diary,

With the destruction of the Golden Oaks Library, my previous diaries have all been burned with it. Thus, this marks the beginning of a new era. I miss my old Library. It wasn't a castle, but I'm not exactly one for extravagance. That's more Rarity's schtick. Still, I find myself mystified by the features this castle has. It seems to change and expand to the will of those within it without any changes to the outside. In short, this place has the potential to literally be bigger on the inside. It reminds me of what Derpy said about 'The Doctor' and his big blue box. I suppose now that I live in such a place, spacial distortion within a hollow construct is possible.

Beyond that, The Cutie mark Crusaders visited for the first time. I had to stifle a laugh as they found themselves getting lost within minutes. It was only after I found them all that I realised that all four of us were lost.

Scootaloo chuckled, remembering that day. When Twilight found her, she'd never been so happy to see somepony in her life.

The girls asked me if they could continue their lessons in magical studies/cutie mark crusading. Of course I agreed. With Sweetie Belle as the younger sister of one of my best friends, how could I say no? Not to mention, If I'm overseeing their studies and crusades, the chances of another incident are severely decreased. I also hope to have Spike's personality rub off on them. The dragon has proven himself to be a mature and responsible young drake when he needs to be. Something the three fillies severely need.

They don't lack for humility, however they don't learn from it either. Applebloom tends to have a defensive attitude with her friends. No doubt stemming from wanting to be more like Applejack who has a proud presence about her. Applebloom tends to be the voice of reason among the trio. However, she lacks conviction, which causes her concerns to go ignored. This weakness of will is the primary reason for their destructive reputation. However, the others share the blame themselves.

Scootaloo read the entry and realised that Twilight was right about Applebloom. She often was the voice of reason, the cautious one. Perhaps she should listen to her more, or perhaps back her friend up some. She read on.

Sweetie Belle possesses a take charge attitude. The source may be the lack of compromise Rarity gives her. If a filly can't have her own way at home, they tend to lash out at their friends and become the dominant member of the party. I feel sorry for Sweetie Belle in a way. Would she just express her frustration with Rarity, her leadership skills may better be refined and the fillies' failures would become less frequent.

Scootaloo realised that once again, Twilight was right. It made her scared to read on. What was her fault in the group?

What can I say about Scootaloo? An ordinary Psychologist would say that her rebellious nature stems from her being an orphan, but I know better. When Scootaloo smiles, it isn't one of those pained smiles that is a poor attempt to hide the sadness in her heart. I honestly believe that she doesn't mind the orphanage. In a way, she may see it as another kind of family. What Scootaloo's true vice is, is her inability to fly. A sensitive subject for any pegasus. As a Princess, I've had the privilege of seeing her medical records. From what I can tell, there seems to be no problem with her wings. They're as healthy as can be, no doubt a result of Rainbow Dash's training, yet somehow she is still unable to fly.

This leads me to conclude that the problem is more emotional than physical. If she believes that she can fly, then I've no doubt that one day, she will. However, her current inability is clearly the source of her borderline masochistic nature. Being a tomcolt doesn't help the issue. Most of the crusaders' attempts at earning their cutie marks end in dangerous bone breaking stunts that Scootaloo is the first to volunteer for. It's a miracle that she hasn't been hospitalised.

Scootaloo put the journal down and sighed. "She's right. I'm not sure what a masochist is, but I am first in line to hurt myself. Maybe that's what it is?" she thought aloud. Believing she wouldn't find anything that would help her decide what they both could do together in the beginning of the book, she skipped ahead a few pages only to find they went blank after a while. "What? No way! She's been here longer than that." Scootaloo protested, flicking through the pages. She spotted another section filled with writing. She flicked back to the first of the pages and read the title.

Study Notes

Scootaloo knew there'd be nothing of interest in there, so she tried for further ahead, and came across the same problem, a blank section followed by a final title page. It was this one that caught her interest.

The Secrets Within Me

Scootaloo paused for a moment. Twilight's secrets. Those two words opened up a whole new world in Scootaloo's mind. Were they her secrets? Or were they secrets of other ponies that she kept secret for their sakes? She remembered how Twilight had acted when she discovered the book missing. Could this book contain Princess Celestia's secrets? Or perhaps secrets about the Princess? Scootaloo was no stranger to fillyhood crushes. Practically every filly in her class had a crush on Rumble.

Another thought came to Scootaloo. If Twilight had written down all that stuff about her and the cutie mark crusaders, then perhaps the secrets were about her friends, in which case, she'd be able to get some dirt on Rainbow Dash that nopony else would know about. But the title page suggested otherwise. Twilight would have no reason to hide secrets about her friends. No, these were clearly her secrets. Maybe they'll give me some clue about what to do with Twilight tomorrow. It may be a guilty pleasure that she'd like to eat, in which case, I could suggest going out to lunch. she thought to herself.

Flipping over to the next page, she discovered Twilight had written a little note about the content beyond. Scootaloo read it.

The following passages are my darkest desires that I simply could not contain within my mind. I find writing it down helps, but should this book be lost, it would ultimately be damning. I almost hope to be killed long before anypony ever finds this. Celestia forgive my dark nature.

Scootaloo noticed that the page was harder in areas and had slightly darker shades to it that were circular in nature. Was she crying? she thought. Scootaloo remembered when she'd first tried to write in a diary. It was before she'd come to terms with her role as an orphan. Some nights were harder than others, and she'd left tear stains on the pages.

Whatever was beyond this page could change Scootaloo's opinion of Twilight for better or worse. Now she had to make a choice; read on and risk hating Twilight's guts as well as incurring her wrath once she found out? Or leave the book forever and live on in blissful ignorance of Twilight's greatest desire and worst fear?

As the filly struggled with the decision ahead, a thought came to her. Maybe I could help Twilight with this? Certainly Twilight realised she had a problem, else she wouldn't have written that foreword. And as those stories always told, the first step on the road to recovery was realising you had a problem. Of course, that was about alcoholism and drug addiction. she realised.

"I won't know if I can help until I find out what it is. But on my word as a Pegasus, I vow not to reveal Twilight's secrets to anypony." she declared to herself. She realised then that she'd spoken out loud and looked towards the doorway, keeping both eyes peeled on the light shining through the bottom, searching for any hint of a shadow. Her ears scanned for any sound from outside.

Nothing but silence. Twilight was not within hearing distance. Scootaloo let out a breath she didn't realise she'd been holding in and looked back to the passage. "Even if Celestia won't forgive your dark nature, Twilight... I promise that I will!" she whispered, placing a hoof on the corner of the page. "That's what friends are for." she concluded, turning the page.

As a filly, I was told that love came in many shapes and sizes. I didn't understand what that meant at the time. All I understood was that I loved my parents, I loved my brother, and I loved Princess Celestia. It was as simple as that. As I grew older, and learned about the biology of love, namely sex, curiosity got the better of me and I of course explored, beginning with myself. To say it felt good was an understatement. The euphoria one receives from such exploration eclipses that which I received whenever Princess Celestia would praise me. Something I used to live for.

It wasn't until I was in my teens that I learned where the different shapes and sizes came into play regarding love. Growing up in Canterlot, the ponies are often stuffy purists. It was just coincidence that my family had only ever fallen in love with other unicorns. They had no preferences regarding species, it was just true love, pure and simple. I'd learned that beyond Canterlot, unicorns would marry earth ponies or pegasi. the three pony races had become more than allies, but were in fact copulating. I know now that it was something that had been commonplace for hundreds of years, but one must understand that as a shut in young mare who barely knew her own body, it was quite a revelation.

As I grew older and wiser, I learned that although ponies preached declarations that love was boundless, that didn't stop the higher ups from doing their best to limit it. Until a few decades ago, Same sex relationships were frowned upon, and to this day, marriage between two same sex parties is still outlawed. Not to mention that as we grow as a species, the minimum wedding age of a mare grows as well. Once there was a time when fillies no older than thirteen would be married off to middle-aged stallions. Of course, such changes sound sensible, however, why not allow it on certain conditions? If the filly loves the stallion, then why not let them be together?

Love is boundless, love cannot be contained... except by the laws placed upon the ponies that feel such love. It's a general rule that ponies have lived with for centuries, and it's next to impossible to change laws that have lasted for as long as Equestria has stood. As the princess of love, I expect Cadence would understand the plight of those whose love must go unrequited because the law prevents it.

Scootaloo had trouble understanding where Twilight was going with this. What did her secret have to do with love?

Unfortunately, I am among those who must keep their romantic desires hidden from society as a whole. Neither my friends, nor my family can know what kind of pony I am. I didn't even know until I came to Ponyville. I am not a mare who loves stallions, nor do I love other mares. I don't even love both. My outlawed version of love is borderline criminal. After all, who in their right mind would allow a love that could corrupt the next generation?

"What does that mean; the next generation?" Scootaloo asked. cautiously, she read on, hoping to get some clarification? As far as she understood it, Twilight was in love with a type of pony that the law considered illegal.

They spend most of their days in certain buildings, and those few hours they spend amongst each other afterwards teases me to no end. When they play amongst each other, the subtle and unintended suggestiveness of it all drives me crazy. It gets easier when others are around me, for I instinctually manage to suppress my desires in public. This comes at a cost however, as I'm often mistaken for going over something in my head relating to brainiac stuff (as Rainbow Dash would put it). At times I wonder, how can I possibly have such feelings for ponies of that particular age range? And when I have these thoughts to myself, I cry inside, screaming how could I not?

Why must my love of fillies be considered as polluted as the Everfree?

Scootaloo understood now why Twilight was panicking. She was young but even she understood that somepony as highly respected as Twilight would be ruined and run out of Equestria, should she be found out. But Scootaloo had vowed never to tell anypony, and she never broke a promise... or vow as the case may be. Besides, Twilight had made some interesting points earlier. If love was free, then why was the law containing these things?

I understand of course. To love a foal of any gender is considered morally wrong. It is my duty as an adult to guide the next generation to a better tomorrow. But still. Couldn't a better tomorrow involve unrestricted love? Why must the desires of only a certain few go unanswered? I've saved Equestria thrice over. So why must I be alone? Sure, one could argue that I give stallions or mares my own age a try, but what would be the point if they couldn't satisfy my true desire?

As Scootaloo read on, she didn't find herself repulsed by Twilight's secret, but instead felt sad for the princess. She had given so much for Equestria. And while she'd been given the privilege of becoming an Alicorn, it was not what she'd asked for. But what she wanted to ask for was out of the question.

Scootaloo turned to a few further pages, reading the next entry.

I've been hearing from my friends that their sisters have been the victims of bullying. While such a thing is commonplace in the world, even a small town like this, I find myself caring about one filly in particular. Scootaloo has never known anything but heartbreak, and while Rainbow Dash does her best to brighten up her world, I realise that at the end of the day, she returns home to a place that she may call home, but she doesn't truly believe it. She does not know love in any true sense other than friendship, and while I am the princess of friendship... I find myself wishing I could introduce Scootaloo to a different kind of love.

Scootaloo's eyes widened and her breath got stuck in her throat. No way... she thought as she read on.

That filly is brave and strong. She's endured loneliness the likes of which I don't even want to imagine. In a sense, I feel like we are kindred spirits. She is lonely in every sense of the word. I am lonely as I am now. Hiding behind a mask known as the perfect student. I've a lot to live up to, but I wish I could just let my mane down, and if I had to choose, I'd choose Scootaloo to let it down to.

The filly in question bit her bottom lip as she realised where Twilight was going with this. Her love for fillies and the connection she'd felt between them. Scootaloo realised that Twilight had fallen in love with her. It was a... not bitter pill, but certainly hard to swallow. How could somepony like Twilight love her? And in that way?! It made no sense. She'd understand Twilight falling for another filly; maybe one of her friends, Sweetie Belle or even Applebloom. Sweetie Belle would have been the most realistic choice, given that she'd chosen to study under Twilight in the field of magic. But Scootaloo? What qualities did she have that would make Twilight love her?

I've been monitoring Scootaloo's progress since they began coming to the Library to learn under me. At first, it was uncomfortable. Three fillies placing their trust in me. I wanted nothing more than to avoid letting them down. I hid behind my mask and played the good teacher, trying to keep them interested. And as time went on, I began to feel more at ease with them around. I always noticed how Scootaloo was always the last one to leave. It was like she wanted to stay here. And to be honest, I wanted her to. But what purpose would that serve other than to torture me?

I ask myself every day; why do I love Scootaloo? The answer is always the same. I love her because she wants to be loved, and I want to be the one to love her. I'd have settled for wanting to love her as a parent loves their child, but my nature will always get the best of me. It's in my nature to be a monster that parents should lock up their houses to. Twilight Sparkle, inspirational princess by day... disgusting pedophile by night.

Scootaloo couldn't breathe. Everything she knew about Twilight had changed, warped into something... different. Twilight had always been truthful, but hid one important factor. Scootaloo understood why. Ponies had been executed for less. But she didn't want Twilight to be executed.

I'm a monster...

As Scootaloo found the last part of the entry, she covered her mouth with her hoof to avoid letting a sob escape. The filly only had a basic understanding of love, romance and sex. But even she could understand why Twilight thought this way.

"...You're not a monster. You're... just stuck with a choice you can't make. Don't hate yourself for that." she said to the diary, picturing it as Twilight's inner self. She shut the book and hugged it to her chest. She knew that there was more to read, but she needed to think things over. After a minute, she placed the book under her pillow and lay back, looking towards the ceiling.

As her little mind worked things out, she wondered what it was about Scootaloo that Twilight found physically appealing? Sure, she was a filly, but there had to be more to it than that. Was it the colour of her mane? Her coat? did she possess a more shapely form than the others that she hadn't realised? Was it her eyes? Her lithe form? Or did the thought of little wings on a Pegasus somehow appeal to Twilight?

Or was it a more sexually based? Looking past the covers over her body, she locked her eyes on the general area between her flanks. Could Twilight be that...not shallow, but...simple? she thought.

Without a thought, Scootaloo slipped a hoof under the covers and found the area she'd begun imagining Twilight looking at. As she touched the surface, she found it to be hot, like a slither of sunlight had been shining on it for a long period of time and had brought that area to a hotter temperature than the rest of her body. In turn, she could feel her hoof through her heated area and the sensitivity left something to be desired.

She began to gently slide her hoof over the sensitive place and found a tingling sensation that was highly addictive. She tried to go faster, and she was rewarded with a twinge that caused her to suck in air and arch her back. She'd hit a particular spot at the top that sent a wave of pins and needles spiraling throughout her entire being. Scootaloo knew exactly what she wanted to do. She remembered Twilight's journal mentioning the euphoria received from exploring her body. While Scootaloo didn't know what euphoria meant, she had a good idea, and she wanted to experience it.

Keeping to the tradition of Twilight teaching her and the CMC, she began to imagine Twilight nestled at the foot of her bed, watching Scootaloo experiment. The image of her smiling down at the filly as she did something so embarrassing somehow gave Scootaloo cause to work harder at the task.

The little filly rubbed at the nub that had formed at the base of her fillyhood. She went faster, and harder, receiving thanks from her body with each flick of the switch. She could feel something in her lower body building up, but no matter how hard she tried, it wouldn't stop building up. Eventually, she tried to change the image she'd imagined for herself. In her mind's eye, she imagined that it was Twilight's hoof giving her this immense pleasure instead of her own.

Within seconds, Scootaloo caught her breath and arched her entire body. She understood what 'euphoria' meant at that moment. The sudden release of energy that had built up made her entire body explode with sensitivity. She couldn't stop rubbing now. She wanted it to last as long as it could. But she'd neglected to hold her tongue as she suddenly screamed.

"AHHHHH!!! TWILIGHT!!!" she cried out. She suddenly stopped, her mind registering what had just happened. She gasped in shock and sat up, panting. Her body was sweating and shaking. She heard the sound of rushed hoofsteps and Twilight immediately burst through the door. Scootaloo didn't know what to do after seeing her. A blush spread across her face.

"What's wrong?!" Twilight asked, looking around the room before seeing Scootaloo exactly where she'd left her. To Twilight she looked terrible. Her fur was matted, the area around her bed was coated in sweat and the filly was shaking like a leaf and breathing heavily.

"Scootaloo, did you have a nightmare?" Twilight asked, approaching her guest. She sat down on the side of the bed, wearing that same smile she'd done all day since Scootaloo had asked to talk about her.

Scootaloo's blush deepened as Twilight approached. If she was honest with herself, she didn't want to associate what she'd just done with a nightmare, but in order to save face, she bit the bullet and nodded, sheepishly. As she made eye contact with Twilight, she noticed that the smile she wore at that moment wasn't like the one she'd imagined her with during her... investigation. Scootaloo had imagined Twilight's expression to be more... what was the word Sweetie Belle used? ...predatory. That was it. Imagination Twilight's expression was predatory, she hungered for what Scootaloo was offering. The Twilight before her showed none of that hunger. Scootaloo noticed instead, a motherly figure who had genuine concern for her.

The next thing Scootaloo knew was a pair of hooves and wings wrapped around her, dragging the filly closer to the princess. Twilight had pulled her into a hug. "You poor thing," she said. Scootaloo took notice of how warm Twilight felt. "would you like to sleep with me tonight?" she asked. Scootaloo began to cry. If Rainbow Dash were there, she'd be twenty percent more embarrassed than she already was. She wasn't crying because she was sad, or scared. She was crying because she was confused. Somehow, after having read about Twilight's deep seated love for her, Scootaloo realised something. She'd developed a foalhood crush on her.

Scootaloo wrapped her hooves around Twilight and rested her head in the crook of her neck. "I'd like nothing more." she sobbed.

Author's Note

So many of you may think that the thing is being a bit rushed, but truth be told the romance is only a part of the story as a whole.