dC/dt ≠ 0

by I Thought I Was Toast

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Drama, Changelings, Original Character
Length: 215163

A look into changeling and pony culture as changelings attempt to integrate and make peace with Equestria.

"I asked a changeling once why they would think peace with Equestria was possible. Their response was the title to this book. I had asked a question on politics and gotten a calculus equation in response. Changelings are odd like that sometimes. They see things differently than the rest of us. I ended up pondering his response for a long time and even dusted off my old calculus books to look for an answer. One day it just clicked in my head what he was trying to say.

Changelings are capable of change.

It was a somewhat redundant answer, and it was a really bizarre way to give it, but I understood what he meant. Changelings, just like ponies, are capable of both good and bad, We could make peace with them, and help them learn to better themselves. That was what the changelings wanted, and ponies everywhere were fighting it. It is for that reason I began creating this book. Within this tome you will find a collection of essays, more like candid stories really, directly from Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship, and Prince Morpheus, leader of the Changeling Hive. These reports detail their lives from the day negotiations began. That is the day the Prince himself began living in Ponyville, and it comes with the story of how he and the little town came to adapt to each other as negotiations were occurring. It is my hope seeing their story will show anypony reading this there is no reason to distrust the changelings so, and, perhaps, it will give you insight into the strange little changelings as well. They truly want peace, and, despite the treaties being signed, we can only truly give it to them when we let go of our distrust."

-Changing Times, Author of dC/dt ≠ 0

Cover Image by Void Heart who's work is awesome.
Currently Editted by: Dreams of Ponies, zimmerwald1915, reprovedhawk, Malefactory
Previously Edited by: Twilight_Scratch, Zeta040, StainlessKey, Flink

Published 2015-02-28 18:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-02-19 19:55:55 UTC

Start of Negotiations (Twilight) Part 2

Start of Negotiations (Twilight) - Revised V2 Part 2

The study was much as I’d left it. There were a couple file cabinets that stored several projects of mine aligned against the wall. Next to them was a shelf full of various odds and ends that conveniently hid a few items acting as wards – just on the off chance somepony did try to tamper with my more sensitive projects.

On the other side of the room were more shelves with books. They really did seem to end up in every room of the castle, although that was more a matter of organization than anything else. It was incredibly frustrating to have to keep walking back to the castle library for a reference book every five minutes into a project. It took up significant amounts of valuable research time. I had tried teleporting to get the books I needed, but that simply tired me out after a while.

In the end, I was forced to order a large number of extra copies of books I already had and create little pocket libraries about the entire castle. Normally, I hate ordering extra copies. They’d be so much more useful somewhere else with somepony who didn’t already own the book, but I literally lost hours to walking back and forth from the library sometimes.

Next to the shelves was what Dash called my ‘Egghead Boards’. These bulletin boards could be host to a number of things at any given time depending on my current projects. They tended to hold visual representations of cognitive maps and other various models I might need to keep track of my current line of thinking on a project. A lot of good research came out of those boards. Of course, my friends only tend to remember the more embarrassing ones, like the time I made one trying to figure out how and where to ask Flash out.

I swear, I didn’t know it was considered socially taboo to follow a romantic interest around at the time. I mean, it was only several years before that I’d made my first real friends at Ponyville, and I’d never even had the slightest interest in romance before. I just approached it like I would any other new topic to me: scientifically, and that meant I needed to gather data without tainting the subject. Of course, the stalker jokes took weeks to die down, but let it never be said that I didn’t get the results I wanted.

Embarrassing memories aside, I cast my gaze to the center of the room expecting to see some noble griffon or perhaps a quizzical zebra.

There was, however, no pony else that I could see in the room. The glare I gave Discord spoke volumes.

“Huh…” That was all that escaped Discord’s mouth as he glanced around the room, stupefied. It would have been quite amusing to watch at the time if I wasn’t panicking at the implications of an unknown foreign force rummaging through the castle.

“Looking for me?”

Words and phrases such as ‘Oh, Celestia! It’s behind me!’, ‘Kill it! Kill it with fire!’, and ‘Die, vermin! Die!’ came to mind at the soul chilling buzz that filled the air, and an instinctive and overpowering fear filled the very core of my being. Turning swiftly, i gave the thing behind me a swift kick to the stomach. This was followed with me pivoting in place to sock it in the jaw with all the momentum I could muster.

Rainbow Dash would have been proud to see those classes paying off.

As my eyes finally settled on just what exactly I had attacked, I got a second boost of adrenaline. We’d heard nothing on the changelings since the invasion. It was if they had disappeared without a trace, and it left us incredibly wary not knowing anything at all about their movements. We couldn’t even be sure they’d left Equestria considering their shape-shifting powers.

And now there was now one lying directly in front of me.

To say I was freaked out was just the tiniest of understatements and being hopped up on adrenaline was not helping. Luckily, I am not an inherently violent pony. Having got past the shock of being snuck up on, my body had become fairly rooted in the flight half of the fight or flight instincts.

Of course, I couldn’t run with Discord having bolted the door on me, so I just ended up freezing in place and hoping to Celestia the draconequus knew what he was doing here. Given his track record, my hopes weren’t all that high, but he had managed to pull through in some odd and unexpected ways before.

The changeling had been knocked back into the wall by my assault, and as he stood I managed to get my first good look at him. Most of what we knew of changelings at the time came from nothing more than fairy tales and the terrified accounts of the invasion victims. Neither of those could give us what any good scholar would consider quality info, but it was all we had.

One of the more consistent pieces of accounts in the fairy tales was that there seemed to be various tribes or subspecies of changelings. It was something I could actually confirm having personally confronted both Queen Chrysalis and her lesser minions during the invasion.

There was no denying that the changeling in front of me belonged to whatever subspecies Chrysalis had been. He was relatively tall and spindly, and he had proportions more matching those of an alicorn rather than the average pony size most of Chrysalis’ minions had been.

He seemed younger than Chrysalis, although that was difficult to tell. I was mostly guessing that from his size. Chrysalis had been about the size of Celestia, but this changeling was only slightly shorter than Luna. Thus, he was either still maturing, or males were naturally smaller than females.

Like Chrysalis, he was equine in shape and covered in black chitin with a number of hollows in his hooves. His wings, mane, and tail were that same dark teal and filled with small holes. His jaw was somewhat blockier than Chrysalis’, though, much like a stallion’s would be.

When he finally stood in front of me, he gingerly put a hoof to his face. “That hurt much more than the data would have suggested for a mare of such an academic lifestyle. I am sincerely glad that you didn’t have access to the earth pony strength given from your ascension.” His voice had an odd thrumming buzz to it that created a small, distorted echo of whatever he said.

“Well that’s what you get for surprising a princess!”

It was nice to see somepony besides me glare at Discord for once. “If ve recall correctly, that was part of the bargain you wanted to provide us this meeting.” I, of course, had to add my own glare at Discord upon hearing the changeling’s words.

The draconequus chuckled deviously. “I wanted you to startle her, not scare her half to death. I’ll admit, your way was better.”

It wasn’t. It really wasn’t.

The changeling ground his fangs before sighing and letting it go. “Alright then, let us get down to business. Princess Twilight Sparkle. At the risk of being assaulted again, I am here to apologize for the Hive of the First Father’s ill-conceived invasion of Equestria.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “Are you really sorry, or was it just ill-conceived because you were defeated?”

The changeling vigorously shook his head. It was quite amusing to watch actually. I almost thought he was going fast enough to dislocate his jaw given the rattling I heard from it.

“No. After the invasion, we looked at everything we knew and tried to discover how we had come to lose. We ran the numbers for weeks on end, yet they repeatedly returned a ninety-seven percent success rate for the invasion. We found nothing about why we should have lost.”

I snorted at that, ready to turn him away. That all but screamed that they were preparing for another attack.

What he said next made me pause.

“That is why my mother, Queen Chrysalis, abdicated the throne to me. Having failed to both provide for the hive and to discover why she had failed she passed that charge onto me.”

My eyebrow remained cocked and ready to fire sweet skepticism. “And you are?”

He stood up straight and bowed to me at the question. “I am Prince Morpheus, Your Highness, and I am the current ruler of the Hive of the First Father. Ve must admit ve had some doubts upon the throne being passed down, but, after several years, ve are somewhat more confident in my abilities.”

My ear twitched violently as he said all that. It was an affront to the ears, and I simply had to ask before we could continue. “Why are you doing that?”

The prince tilted his head in confusion. “Pardon me?”

“You keep switching subjects. Sometimes you talk perfectly normally using the subjects ‘I’ and ‘me’ when talking about yourself, but other times you seem to randomly switch to using ‘we’. I’d be tempted to say you’re having trouble shifting away from the use of the royal We, except there’s no pattern to your flip flops! You’re not slipping into archaic speech. You’re just randomly using a plural subject when you’re talking about yourself for some sentences, and it’s absolutely infuriating!”

I had started my explanation calmly. To most ponies’ surprise, I wasn’t actually a perfectionist when it came to grammar. I could understand why they would think that, but, honestly, most of the rules of the Equish language were just randomly generated by one ancient noble or another in an attempt to leave a mark on society. There are lots of little rules that seem to lack any sense, and rules that make no sense annoyed me much more than broken rules in general.

Combined with how Equish is, above all, a more pragmatic language compared to more artistic languages such as Prench, and it just was not worth scolding the user in most cases when some little nonsensical nuance of Equish escaped them. That being said, I did have certain standards. This was crossing one. By the end of my explanation, my voice was raised ever so slightly and my nostrils were flaring in irritation.

Morpheus continued to stare at me with his head tilted to the side, staring at me blankly. He was like that for about a minute, eerily still with blank eyes staring at nothing. Sometimes he muttered softly to himself, and he cast his head from side to side as if looking at several things I couldn’t see.

I was just starting to get worried when he blinked and then raised his head in the classic light bulb moment pose. “Oh! I’m sorry. I never really had a chance to study the specifics on pony language before leaving the hive, so ve needed to take a second to dig through the archives and figure out where we stored Equish grammatical information.”

He bowed his head. “Ve sincerely apologize for the delay. It’s not often that ve need to dig that info out. Most of the time, a changeling simply learns it in school and never needs to try and find it in the archives. You are talking about the Equish rules on the use of the singular and plural pronouns referring to the self, correct?”

I will admit I was extremely lost by this point in his explanation. I wasn’t even sure it was an explanation, and I was tempted to ignore what he was saying and chalk it up to an elaborate joke.

Discord’s snickering was not helping me in that regard, but, nonetheless, I nodded yes to his inquiry.

The prince nodded in turn before responding. “Ve thought so. You, as a pony, your highness, are used to only referring to yourself as an individual through terms such as ‘I’ or ‘me’. We changelings…” He trailed off furrowing his brow. “Hrm… How can ve explain this? Ve have never needed to explain it to a non-changeling before.” He cocked his head to the side again. It took a while to gather his thoughts, but he eventually continued. “I think I know how to explain it.”

I twitched in frustration at the switch again. He’d been doing so well to stay consistent for the past couple sentences that I had grown complacent.

He smiled at me, which wasn’t very comforting given his fangs. “Princess Twilight Sparkle, how many ponies are in your head?”

There was a moment of awkward silence as I processed that question.

Then Discord fell on the floor and began flailing about in laughter, a rather impressive feat given the range of motion his large serpentine body was capable of.

I, on the other hand, could only bemoan my fate. “You locked me in a room with a changeling that hears voices in his head. I swear to Celestia, Discord. If he decides to snap and kill me, I will haunt you.”

Prince Morpheus looked confused again. “Hears voices? When did I say anything about me hearing voices? I simply asked how many ponies were in your head.”

I facehoofed. I couldn’t help it. Apparently today was the day I was supposed to explain to a changeling prince just what it meant when one hears other ponies in their head. I could only pray to Celestia that he took to understanding just how insane he was as well as I was taking to the insanity that was my life right now.

“I only have one pony in my head, Morpheus. I’m only supposed to have one pony in my head.” My headache was coming back with a vengeance, so I began to massage my temples again.

I was just taking a quick break from my explanation to collect my thoughts on how to continue when the dear, sweet prince decided to interrupt. “Exactly! You, as a pony, only have one pony in your head, namely yourself. I, as a changeling, have both myself and the hivemind.”

I could only stare at him in utter confusion. “What?”

Morpheus bowed his head. “I will do my best to explain, Your Highness, but please keep in mind this is the short version. As much as I’m sure an academic like yourself would enjoy the long version, my time here is entirely dependent on Discord’s cooperation, and you know how that fares when he’s bored.”

Discord, for his part, was finally collecting himself from the floor. He was still snickering every so often, but I understood what the prince meant. I did not want Discord gallivanting off with Morpheus. I had invested a lot of patience into not strangling Discord today. If he disappeared before we even got anything constructive done, I was going to murder him.

Morpheus continued on, oblivious to my thoughts on draconequicide. “Simply put, all changelings are connected by the hivemind. It is the total accumulation of all knowledge any changeling has ever possessed, and it acts like a giant archive for any single changeling to access such knowledge.”

I was doing my best to keep up. It was, admittedly, an alien concept to me. There were maybe one or two books I’d read out of a sample size of thousands that had anything even remotely similar for me to compare it to. And those books were in the most obscure corner of the science-fiction part of the library.

I was not Celestia’s prized pupil for nothing, however. “Are you saying there are two personalities inside every changeling? They have both their individual self and their hivemind self?”

He arched an eyebrow. “That is a matter of debate. Technically, no, but any sort of explanation on that would bore Discord to tears with its length.”

The scholar in me was demanding answers. It was the opportunity of a lifetime to get info on changelings, so I opened my mouth with the obvious intent of asking questions.

“No.” His voice brooked no argument.

“I know you want to ask, Twilight, but I don’t have the time to answer you right now. I came here to parley for peace. My people are starving, and their only chance is a peaceful union with Equestria. And even that chance is small – at an approximate current success rate of thirty-seven percent.

“I had to track down and beg the spirit of chaos of all things to get a meeting with one of the princesses. That meeting, of course, comes with all the nonsensical stipulations you’d expect an avatar of chaos to demand.”

He had shifted his stance subconsciously at some point during his tirade, and my own body tensed in response to what it perceived as a potential threat. His wings had flared out – buzzing harshly – and his fangs were prominently on display. As I shrunk in upon myself slightly his voice fractured and multiplied. What had once been a slight echo was now a veritable chorus. I was pretty sure he wouldn’t try anything. If he’d wanted to, he would have tried long before now, but that didn’t make things any less tense as he continued.

“And then I arrive only to be assaulted by the princess and harassed about my grammar of all things! Consider yourself lucky I’m answering your first question, but once that’s done you need to hear me out. I know you don’t trust me. Your emotions are laced with all kinds of bitter tastes that stem from distrust. Want the answer to a free question I know you’re thinking? Distrust tastes bitter because that’s what most poisons taste like.

“There’s your trivia fact for the day! There is nothing more poisonous on the emotional scale than distrust. Other negative emotions can be overcome with support from others, with allies, but you can’t get support if you don’t trust anypony! Fascinating, isn’t it? Of course, even if changelings could trust the other races, none of them trust us! That’s why I’m here.”

At some point he had come forward and I had moved back. The prince all but loomed over me.

My pulse was racing.

I felt the adrenaline rushing through me again.

I was ready to bolt.

I looked to see if Discord was getting ready to stop the Prince.

And saw the draconequus calmly reading an old issue of the Canterlot Times upside down and backwards.

It was from the day he reformed – the day Fluttershy proved there was good in even the foulest of villains.

That was when what the Prince was saying started to really hit me.

“The executioner’s axe is hanging over our heads, and if we don’t get a pardon soon the changelings will go extinct, so excuse me if I don’t want to answer every one of your hive-forsaken questions right now! If you can’t handle that, just tell me now and I’ll leave without bothering you with my proposal.” His tirade finished he deflated and hung his head.

He wasn’t angry.

He was just as scared as I was.

I brought a hoof to my chest breathing in deeply. I held it for a second before exhaling and trying to push the panic away.

Where before I saw an emotion eating predator I now saw a breaking facade. Flared wings and a widened stance were a defensive measure not an aggressive one. Pegasi were much the same when frightened.

The voice was harder to puzzle out, but it had started to echo with that frightening chorus effect only after I’d become scared. It could be an instinctual response to my fear much like my fear was an instinctual response to his threatening stance. It would make sense that a species that could sense fear would instinctually know how to capitalize on it.

But that just didn’t seem right to me. If he truly wanted peace, he wouldn’t want to scare me. I set that to the side for now to focus on calming down.

A tense silence filled the study as he finished. Neither one of us dared to make the first move to upset the fragile balance the quiet brought. It was a superficial balance, of course. Things were about as far from okay as they could be for a diplomatic meeting, but we could pretend things were okay as long as the silence continued.

Then Discord opened his mouth.

“Holy horseapples, Twilight. Celestia may be the cryptic one, and Luna may be the plothole, but this guy is something else. He is most definitely the ballsy one. I suggest you dissect him for science in the hopes that we can learn how to make Equestrian stallions more like him. Think about it! The common mare would do nothing but swoon. The royal harem – which is still technically legal by the way if you’re interested in getting one – would reopen in seconds. And the royal guard would finally stop being such pansies.”

He paused, and for a second I thought he was done, but of course it was all for naught.

“I mean, honestly, do you know how embarrassing it was to face the guard when I escaped? They are the biggest pansies I’ve ever met, and I met Private Pansy who was the origin of the insult. The level of incompetence they show for any threat beyond a senior citizen littering in the park is astounding. Seriously, defeating them is like taking candy from a foal and then deciding to eat the foal instead. It’s a fine metaphorical case of both foal abuse and equicide with a little bit of cannibalism tossed in if you happen to be a pony. Thankfully I’m not a pony, but you have to see my point! If I don’t turn ponies to stone out of the goodness of my heart, how could I ever hope to resort to metaphorical murder! Thankfully, teleporting them all to the Badlands bought me some time to try and think of a solution to my dilemma, but it was not a true solution in and of itself. I couldn’t think properly with them buzzing around me like flies, but there were only so many times I could teleport them somewhere else. Even to think of doing it more than once was almost blasphemous to my chaotic creed of creativity…”

This went on and on with no end in sight. Needless to say, it was worse than the silence. It seemed to take an eternity, but finally Morpheus regained enough composure to clear his throat.

“Ahem…” The prince banged his hoof like a gavel for attention.

“Oh, thank Celestia!” Discord was obligated, of course, to continue to put his two bits in everything.

The fact that his two bits were wooden jangles to everypony else never came into the equation at all for him. “I thought you’d never get started again. I know I probably have enough nonsense in my head to babble like an idiot until the end of time, but by then you two would be dead and I definitely wouldn’t be getting any more entertainment from you.”

Morpheus paused for a second to make sure the draconequus was done before clearing his throat again. “Ahem…” He glared as if daring Discord to interrupt him further. Seeing that he could keep going he sighed. “The answer to your question, Twilight, is that changelings refer to themselves with singular pronouns when they are talking about knowledge and experience they gained through their own actions. When they refer to thoughts, feelings, actions, or anything else that they do because of the knowledge they took from the hivemind, that is when they refer to themselves in plural pronouns.”

He looked piercingly into my eyes and I knew this was more than an answer to my question. “For example, I took the throne when mother abdicated. Ve had our doubts that somepony as soft as us could lead, but I proved I could be strong where it mattered when I stopped not just one but two coups bloodlessly. Ve came to trust our judgement from that, and I came to you to parley for peace because I thought it was our only chance as a species. I was not lying when I said my hive is slowly starving. Ve had significant doubts anything would come of peace talks given the general consensus on changelings, thus I took precautions to ensure you would take my offer of peace very seriously. Understand?”

There was a rather grim finality to the prince’s tone as he finished. I hadn’t fully grasped the concept he was explaining yet, but for once I decided not to ask any follow up questions on something as small as grammar. Taking my ponderous silence as consent to continue, he opened a small pocket dimension to withdraw a piece of paper coated in a complex magical diagram. I almost asked what warranted the security of storing one piece of paper in a small bubble of hammer space, but then I got a better look at the arcane writing scrawled across it. I let out a whistle in appreciation of the sheer magnitude of the spell.

I had no idea what it did, but it had far outclassed anything I had ever seen before. There were at least nine layers of magic circles from what I could see. Even the most advanced spells I could think of only went up to five. And that wasn’t even counting the sub-circles. I’d heard of sub-circles before, but only in the highest levels of theoretical magic literature. They were discussed – and only discussed, mind you – as a control mechanism for how we might be able to experiment with potential spells classified as apocalypse level or higher.

In short, I could only assume whatever he had just pulled out was very dangerous magic that I should not touch with a ten-foot pole.

Morpheus watched us both, gauging our reactions. “This is the culmination of my preparations to show you just how serious I am about this peace. I had to send my agents scouring the globe to find all the pieces.”

It was quiet at first, but Discord was chuckling. It was a low, deep, almost sinister chuckle. “Oh, my… Oh my… Is that what I think it is?” It began to build in volume, filling the whole room as the prince nodded. “You really are desperate aren’t you?” It was a full-throated belly laugh that could not help but send shivers down my spine. It was such a jolly sound, but something about it was horribly wrong.

Morpheus knew what he held. Discord knew it too. Apparently I was the only one out of the loop here, and I needed to fix that. “What is it?”

Discord held up a paw to stop the prince from explaining while looking at him very carefully. I’m not sure I can forget what the draconequus said next. It’s hard to explain, but every so often as Discord’s babbling on and on he’ll suddenly say something oddly profound or serious.

Sometimes I catch it, and sometimes it’s lost amidst his inane jokes, but it happens. There seems to be a method to his madness, and for some strange reason part of that method is the odd moment of clarity. This was one of those moments. Actually, it was much more than a moment. I had never seen Discord this serious before.

Normally, his voice is full of some kind of emotion. It didn’t necessarily matter if the emotion was appropriate to the situation or not. The point was that it was always full of the energy that comes with an emotive voice. Right then and there his voice was strangely subdued.

“You know, you really are the ballsy one if you’re planning what I think you’re planning. I’ve been around since the beginning of time, and I’ve seen every empire that’s ever been on this little ball of dirt rise and fall. I’ve seen every ruler under the stars, and let me tell you there are only three other rulers I’ve seen who would even think to work up the gumption to attempt what I think you’re proposing with that little paper from Tartarus.”

He pointed to himself. “Me, because, when I ruled, I was just plain insane enough not to worry about the consequences.”

The draconequus pointed to me. “Miss Magic-of-Friendship, because she is not only naïve and idealistic enough to believe it’s possible, but also powerful enough to pull through her mistakes.”

I wasn’t sure how to take that given the darn draconequus wouldn’t let the changeling explain what the paper was or what it would do.

He wasn’t done, however. He waved his hand in front of him and a small but cheery sun appeared. “And Celestia, because only her kind of boundless compassion and wisdom would let a ruler realize such a sacrifice was truly necessary. It would destroy her to do it, to be sure, but she would do it to protect her little ponies.”

The draconequus loomed over the prince, bending down to look him in the eye. “The question that needs to be asked is which of those three, if any, are you? Then again, maybe you’re different, or simply a fool. I can assure you though – quite confidently, in fact – that there’s no going back once you sign that.”

And just like that the draconequus’ normal pep was back. He turned to me and gave me his classic cheeky grin. “Sorry, Twinkles. You’re just a little star and this is quite out of your pay grade. Hay, this is out of my pay grade. Give me a couple minutes to grab Madame Grim-about-Grins and her little sister Miss Hates-Fun-in-the-Sun. They’ll want to see this no matter what they’re currently up to.” He snapped his fingers and was gone. After a second, however, his voice echoed back through the room. “Oh! And, whatever you do, don’t sign anything!”

I snorted and kicked the study floor. “Did he really just run off to grab the others without giving me any explanation at all? He knows I hate being left out of the loop, and they all do it too, not just Discord.”

I turned to focus on the prince. “Care to actually explain now that there’s no pony here to stop you?”

Morpheus nodded. “It is easiest to think of the spell as a legal document, a contract between two parties if you will. The difference between this spell and simple written documents is in the spell’s name. You see, your highness, this is the Unbreakable Contract. It is not necessarily literally unbreakable, although there were several versions that apparently would overwrite the free will of the parties involved should they decide to violate the obligations they agreed to, but it may as well be given the consequences normally involved in such contracts. As they are magical in nature, a magical punishment can be bound within the contract to trigger the instant an obligation is broken.” He gave a morbid grin. “In this case, the punishment to be inflicted on me should I not carry through on my end of the bargain is death. It would be instant and painless, but it would be death nonetheless. You are starting to understand just how determined I am for peace now, yes?”

I swallowed very slowly. “Y-you mean you’re—“

Morpheus continued on, apparently not actually expecting or looking for a response. “Yes, I assume unavoidable magical punishments such as death would seem rather frightening. One could even argue that’s the reason all records of it were supposed to be burned in the first place. Not that all the books on it actually finished their way to the crematory until recently. I’m pretty sure I destroyed the last of them. Of course, that was after I read them. The only records left now are those ve possess in our personal archives. And ve will most certainly not be telling others how to make one anytime soon. The real danger, you see, is that the spell matrix is so complex that it is next to child’s play to abuse the phrasing within them to get what you want. If you think modern lawyers are nothing but demons who twist words, you should see the stories ve found on how lawyers who dealt with these things ruined lives. Apparently, it’s very easy to sneak yourself in as a third party when you’re the lawyer. All it takes is a little tweaking from there to get whatever you want.”

He tapped his noggin as he said that, and I knew the records he was referring to were in the hivemind. Before I had simply found the idea of the hivemind simply fascinating if a little confusing, but that little comment made me realize some of the more insidious consequences of that aspect of his species.

It was the ultimate manner in which to control and limit knowledge.

Start of Negotiations (Twilight) Part 3

Start of Negotiations (Twilight) - Revised V2 Part 3

Let me take a brief break from to explain just why that was so terrifying, and why it was one of the major reasons we’ve kept the contents of this meeting secret for so long.

If Morpheus had wanted, he could have run rampant with this spell across Equestria. For a while I was surprised that he hadn’t done just that instead of parleying for peace. Even after I realized he was cut from a different cloth than his mother, I couldn’t help but wonder for years if he realized just how much power he had given up by admitting he had that spell. He lost any advantage he had with it the minute he told us about it.

Given that I – with my extensive researching history – didn’t know about that particular spell, it was somewhat safe to assume that no pony except Discord, the princesses, and perhaps a select few ponies specializing in ancient magic would have any idea what that spell did. All it would have taken was disguising as a pony here or there and convincing certain citizens to sign such a spell to doom Equestria. It would not have been hard to convince the common pony that they were simply signing the newest advancement in keeping the law, and by the time those of us higher up on the chain realized something was wrong it would be too late.

No offense meant to us ponies, of course. It’s simply that we as a species are, by our very nature, very trusting of other ponies initially. It’s part of our evolutionary tract as herding creatures. We instinctively trust other ponies more than we should upon meeting them, and we instinctively distrust other species more on the off chance they’re predators. It’s actually led to some rather interesting theories on the development of our society.

I remember reading this one paper that argued the main reason we can maintain such a peaceful state of society is because we are – as the rather cynical author put it – ‘too trusting’. We have our ‘herd’, and everything within it runs far more smoothly than in other nations because of our stronger sense of mutual trust. Those within our ‘herd’ are trusted so thoroughly that it’s hard for us to even comprehend that we could betray that trust for our own benefit. Meanwhile – as we’re ‘passive herding creatures’ – our nation as a ‘herd’ is more likely to simply avoid conflict with other ‘predator’ nations. An attempt to explain our generally neutral stances on international politics, I suppose.

When we truly make peace with another ‘predator’ nation – the author’s example was our peace with the griffins – we come to think of and include them in our ‘herd’. That, he claimed, led to some of our more brutal and bloody wars between Equestria and other nations. It often takes time for our new ‘predator’ allies to fully mellow into the ‘herd’ mentality. If they did something to instigate a war with another nation in the meantime, Equestria got dragged in, and we protect our ‘herd’ very obsessively. In today’s day and age, the author asserted our international ‘herd’ had grown so large that warring with us is simply too detrimental for other nations to consider.

If you think that’s hogwash, it kind of is and isn’t. I usually assert that evolutionary theories on behaviour start to break down once you start discussing a species that’s reached the point of civilization. They do, however, still allow us interesting insights and different perspectives on situations. It was something I would come to appreciate greatly in the coming years. Many of my own misunderstandings about changelings would come from the differences in our evolutionary paths. There were some truly bizarre differences in our cultures caused by some even odder biological differences.

As much as I want to lecture on those right now, however, doing that would be getting ahead of the story. My point is that there is a lot of evidence for the average pony instinctively placing a significantly larger amount of trust in even a random passer-by provided they’re a pony. If the passer-by isn’t a pony, they are generally granted less trust than what other species tend to give in general. That’s part of what makes us so naturally paranoid of changelings.

They can easily gain our trust – for a while at least – simply by pretending to be a pony. When we discover they’re not a pony, we immediately flip from instinctively feeling we should trust them to feeling we should distrust them. The change is so fast and so sudden that it leaves us feeling significantly more confused and betrayed than a similar action from another ‘predator’ species would.

The invasion had shaken ponies trust in one another, but we had recovered fairly quickly with a few simple and relatively non-invasive security measures to test for changelings. We were shaken, but not paranoid.

If Prince Morpheus had decided to infiltrate the country and spread various versions of those contracts among the populace, the amount of panic and chaos that would ensue upon their discovery would have been staggering. Ponies would no longer be able to trust ponies, and I do not mean because of the changelings disguised as ponies. The populace would literally tear itself apart in a frenzy of paranoia as one of the basic instincts of pony society could no longer be trusted.

There was still a risk the populace would tear itself apart at the mere possibility of such a threat, whether or not it was true. That is one of the reasons Princess Celestia kept the contents of this meeting a secret for so long. She wanted the populace to at least accept the changelings enough that they wouldn’t blindly panic.

Regardless, the princess would end up spending the next several weeks making very discreet investigations to make sure the prince hadn’t done just that. And that is not even counting the measures we took in trying to get any possible sabotage directly from the horse’s mouth. I can assure you though. Despite what he could have done with that spell, he didn’t abuse it. He was, in fact, quite in agreement with the princesses that the spell should be as hidden as possible to prevent others from abusing it.

But I digress. Just telling you the prince is trustworthy defeats the entire purpose of these reports. It’s up to me – and him – to show you his goodwill.

A thousand logical reasons and many more paranoid ones quickly flashed through my brain at his statement. One could hear my eyebrow arching. It did so slowly, like a door creeping open. “And you think we’d even dare to trust any contract you might make with a spell you describe like that?”

The prince snorted. “When I drafted it so your party is getting all the benefits, I’m expecting you to at least give me a chance. Celestia and Luna were ancient when this spell was invented. They were experts at dealing with normal law long beforehand, and they quickly became experts in dealing with the legalities and traps such spells contained when it was invented. I am not expecting to pull a fast one on Equestria. Ve thought about it, but I am not that stupid.”

I was about to ask him to elaborate when Discord popped back in with Luna and Celestia. Luna was currently arguing with Discord, while Celestia watched on with a small grin at their antics.

The lunar princess stomped a hoof causing small cracks to appear in the floor. “And what, pray tell, is so important that you needed to interrupt my diplomatic meeting with the griffins?”

The draconequus scoffed. “Oh, please. Equestria’s been at peace with the griffins for centuries. All you would end up doing is drinking tea and eating scones while talking about the weather. I believe you’ll find my diplomatic meeting easily trumps yours.”

To be fair, Discord was kind of right about how important this was. He really should have been fairer to Luna though. Before she returned from the moon those meetings actually were just tea and crumpets with Celestia awkwardly talking about the weather, and the griffins always hated it but were too proud to say so.

Luna, with her somewhat antiquated manners, had soon found herself replacing Celestia in the griffin negotiations and taking to them with a shine. They would often hunt Mandraboara in the Everfree Forest before feasting merrily on mead and boar late into the night. Many a griffin would try to outdrink the princess, yet none ever succeeded.

It’s rather odd, actually. I know alicorns can get drunk – I found that out the hard way – but I went to one of those feasts once, and she clearly imbibed more than three times her body mass between all the individual drinking contests without batting an eye.

Astounding levels of tolerance or not, the princesses froze upon seeing Morpheus. Very slowly their eyes drifted from the changeling to me to the paper he was holding then back to me again. Celestia decided to go with her ‘Cold Fusion #2’ voice. It was cool and mostly dispassionate with just a hint of the sun’s fury laced behind it. It was just enough fury that a pony would know she would brook no argument or delays, but not enough fury to actually make the pony in question believe they were the source of her ire.

It had served a number of purposes over the years, but in this case it was an attempt to quickly establish control of the situation while pumping me for information. It was also supposed to prevent me from panicking. That was why she used ‘Cold Fusion #2’ and not ‘Cold Fusion #1’ which is not merciful enough to grant ponies the illusion that she’s not angry with them. Not that she had a real reason to be angry at me, but I had always had a tendency to panic whenever it came to even the idea of being the source of Celestia’s anger.

“Twilight, I am going to ask you politely whether or not you have signed anything, and you are going to calmly tell me the truth. In addition to that, you are going to give me a very detailed explanation on what is currently happening in this room, and, if I find out later you left anything out, you are going to find out there are actually worse things than magic kindergarten.”

I spilled my guts faster than Discord that one Nightmare Night when he was a sea cucumber, and you can trust me that that wasn’t pretty.

It was several hours later that we found ourselves laboriously going over every minute detail of the contract Prince Morpheus had drafted. At least that was what Celestia and Luna were doing with Morpheus clarifying something or other every so often. Despite knowing what many of the individual sigils in the contract meant, I was completely clueless about how their interactions translated to legalese. Thus I was stuck in the role of observation. Discord had simply floated away through the wall at some point, so I couldn’t be sure what he was doing.

“Found anything suspicious yet, Lulu?” Celestia had erected a small illusion of the spell matrix in front of her to get a better view of it. It would spin. It would flip. It would zoom. There were any and all sorts of tools to manipulate the contract she needed to scour, and she used them all vigorously.

“No, Sister, and I’m starting to think we’re not going to.” Luna scrunched her muzzle in confused frustration. It was rather adorable considering she was also wearing a pair of pointed glasses much like Rarity’s. “If anything, it seems he’s the one asking us to take advantage of him. Even if the princeling here did manage to sneak one or two clauses around us, this contract puts so many obligations and binds on him that I’d doubt he’d risk the fallout of taking advantage of anything he managed get past us.”

It was fascinating to watch the two sisters go back and forth. So many ponies forget that we princesses are still ponies underneath everything, and I could not help but question why as I watched them. They bantered casually back and forth as they worked. They used nicknames for each other. They told jokes, and laughed. There was even some gossiping about the stallions in their respective guards. In short, they were acting like I might expect any other pair of day to day lawyers to act in the office. The only thing that was missing were the satanic deals with Tirek.

“Morpheus, where did you say you put in the section on limitations to changeling magic?” Celestia had begun spinning through the various circles looking for what she needed.

“You’ll find it in circle seven, sub-circle eight, inscription seventeen.” The prince was lounging lazily on a pillow, and languidly waved a hoof at the illusion. “The syntax might be different than you’re used to. It took a good two months of travel down beneath the equator to dig up how to deal with creatures that contain more than one type of magic.”

My ears perked up at this. “Changelings have more than one type of magic?”

Morpheus nodded. “How do you think we imitate ponies? We have a moderately sized pool of our own unique changeling magic and three much smaller pools for each of the three main tribes of ponies. Our pony magic tends to manifest in different ways than most ponies use theirs though.”

I opened my mouth with more questions, but the princess cut me off. “Twilight, I know you’re curious, but now is not the time. Care to explain the difference in syntax, Morpheus?”

The prince complied. “Well, it’s pretty simple. The first sigil depicts that this inscription’s purpose is to bind a creature’s magic. The second sigil tells you how many types of magic the creature has total in addition to how many types of magic are going to be sealed. Next comes details on what types of magic are to be sealed, and, finally, comes details on how to release the creatures binds.”

He flashed his fangs in a grin. “Ve were quite detailed on that last part. I may be desperate enough to sign this, but I’m not leaving the changelings entirely defenseless. Don’t worry, though. Most of those stipulations are for cases of self-defense. The big one you’ll be interested in is that I can’t use most of my magic unless given express permission by one of you princesses or somepony you declare as a proper proxy to hand out those permissions.”

I could tell Celestia was unnerved that Prince Morpheus could talk so calmly about what could end up as him being permanently stripped of magic. I was pretty unnerved by it too.

“Tia, I think I finally found something!” The rest of us looked towards Luna. Morpheus seemed especially interested. He had simply been relaxing before, but at her statement his eyes snapped open. The speed with which he sat up was quite impressive.

“What?!” He seemed almost dumbfounded, and he began muttering to himself. In his irritation I could just barely make it out. “Ve could have sworn ve wrote everything perfectly. Did one of the lords try to sneak a change in? I swear to the hive. If whatever they found ruins this, I will personally destroy the one responsible…”

“Yes, Prince Morpheus, I have found something.” The lunar princess tilted her head to the side, scrunching her muzzle. “I am not, however, certain as to what it means. I didn’t really notice it at first. I was too busy looking for all the normal signs of hidden clauses and agendas, but going through the contract again I noticed a couple of items appeared to be omitted.

“First and foremost, there are no readily apparent obligations for Equestria written into the contract. There are clauses on things we can do, such as the clauses on how to release you from an obligation, but there is nothing we must do.” The princess shook her head. “Even the most amateur of con-ponies who used these contracts knew enough to at least appear to ask for something in return. I cannot help but be suspicious at your complete willingness to sign a contract that amounts to your enslavement for no price as far as I can tell.”

The prince cocked his head to the side. “Why would I demand anything out of Equestria from that monstrosity?” He pointed to the Unbreakable Contract.

There were several moments of silence as we all just stared at him, then I hesitantly broke it. “You were the one who insisted on using the ancient forbidden spell in peace negotiations, right?”

One could hear the gears whirring in the Morpheus’ brain. His head remained steadily cocked to the side. “I only brought that for my end of the deal. In what way would it be smart of me to make any demands in that contract? That would only encourage any lingering mistrust, and I don’t have time for dealing with that.”

He looked between all of us. “You heard that the hive is starving. You don’t know how badly though. Ve did the math, and – worst case scenario – I have half a year to convince you to let five thousand harvesters cross the border or we may well reach the point of no return.”

There was a sharp intake of breath from somepony – maybe me. That was a lot of changelings to keep track of.

The prince waited for a more proper response, but we all seemed a bit too flabbergasted. “They’ll need their own identities to avoid any of the issues that’d arise from replacing somepony, which means they’ll need even more time to establish a social network. It has to be large too. If it’s too small, I can’t ask them to collect anything in good conscience. There would be a risk of over collecting from an individual, and that would be nonideal for relations. Factoring that all together, ve only have a month to convince you that peace is at least possible.”

He glared at Luna. “Do not assume that means ve have no demands or proposals for Equestria. Ve will get to them in due time. The first step is for me to gain your trust.”

Morpheus gestured to the castle around them. “Personally, I figured the best place to do that is to stay here in Ponyville. You’ve already set quite the precedent by reforming Discord in this cozy little town after all.”

There were several moments of silence to process this before Luna continued. “Alright then… I-I suppose I should bring up your second omission.”

Her voice was shaking. I think it was starting to actually sink in for us. We’d all been denying the gravity of the situation in our heads until now to one degree or another. We’d thought of this talk as nothing but another changeling trap, but we couldn’t do it anymore. The prince was just so casual in discussing his death or any number of the other things that could go wrong with the Unbreakable Contract. He was actually committed to signing it in an effort for us to consider peace negotiations.

Luna gestured to the illusion, manipulating it in various ways. “I found various places that require the signature of my sister and I. However, it always seemed that the slot for your own signature was absent.”

Morpheus smiled morbidly at Luna. “You’ll find it’s there. We just already signed. If you want to know what to look for, look at the very centre of the contract. That’s where the final signatures for consent go, right?”

Celestia zoomed in on the place in question. “That’s a magical sigil, not a signature.” Her eyes narrowed at Morpheus. “What does it do?”

Morpheus opened his mouth to answer when a familiar draconequus’ dark chuckles filled the room. “Why isn’t it obvious, Tia?” Discord rose from the floor, displacing and distorting it as if it were a viscous liquid. Small waves of stone lazily slid across the room as the floor slowly settled in his wake. He floated towards the illusion, drawing it into the palm of his paw. “You just need to look at it another way.” He crushed it within his fist and let go. Suddenly, the illusion expanded. What had once been a two-dimensional drawing of a spell matrix was now a three-dimensional exploded view.

This didn’t actually change much at first glance.

Then we noticed the sigil Morpheus called his signature.

The prince sighed. “Oh, great... That was the one thing I was hoping you wouldn’t find.”

“Why?” Celestia asked, starting to examine the twisted knot of inscriptions that was the sigil. There were thousands of intricate layers to the sigil. “Is it a trap?”

Morpheus sat in silence for a few seconds. His face was set in a contemplative frown, and his stare bored into the ground. Finally, he responded flatly. “It is a mercy. It is the only mercy ve can provide if I fail. I see a chance for success, but ve think coming here was the most foolish thing I have ever done, and I must beg that you do not ask what it does. If you find out, I fear it will only make things that much harder for both our respective nations during the talks. If there is just one thing I say that I ask you accept in blind faith, let it be when I say that signature will bring no harm to the pony race.”

Celestia and Luna looked at each other briefly and nodded. No words needed to be said between them. Looking back at Morpheus they spoke as one. “We cannot allow the question to go unanswered. What does it do? Answer honestly and we promise to withhold judgment to the best of our abilities.”

The changeling’s stare continued to bore into the stone for several seconds as if it might uncover some way out of the situation. Finally, he looked up and stared deep into Celestia’s eyes. His gaze was cold and unflinching, daring the princess to go back on that statement.

His wings buzzed with harsh ferocity. They vibrated fast enough to create an illusion of wings twice as large, and filled the air with a menacing drone.

His voice shifted down several pitches. Like before it fractured and split to create an almost chorus-like effect, but that was where the similarity ended. Before the echo had simply created the effect of more than one creature talking at once. Here each echo was modulated and morphed. It filled the room as if we were surrounded by others, and each echo waxed and waned so we could never quite tell the location it came from.

“Zoom in far enough and I’m sure you’ll understand when you see it.”

A chill ran down my spine when he said that. As I’d mentioned before, I was mostly observing this part of the meeting. So far I had done so with a mix of excitement and anxiety. Even if most of my brain argued that this was all a changeling trap, I couldn’t help but be excited at the prospect of peace. That comment changed everything.

Something told me we would be much better off not knowing the one thing he actually had tried to slip past us, and I was filled with a sense of impending dread. There was no defensive element to this break in his facade.

It was too late to do anything though. I knew Celestia wouldn’t leave anything to chance with something like this.

The solar princess began zooming in at a relatively quick pace. Layer after layer of inscriptions flew by, but even after a minute their contents were not any clearer.

“You may wish to go faster, Princess. I assure you. The point at which it will become legible is quite small, and I only have so much time. My subjects are starving, you know.” The prince’s voice was taunting. “If you want to see the truth, then I suggest you do so quickly!”

Celestia let a low growl, but complied. It took at least another minute of zooming, but suddenly the inscriptions became legible.

Both princesses stared at the inscriptions for a second. Their eyes slowly trailed along each one, holding their breath as they looked for the trick. The inscriptions were nothing but that though. They were just plain old words as far as I could tell. If anything, it looked like one massive story.

“Tell me, Twilight Sparkle.” I jumped about a foot in the air as Discord spoke from directly behind me. “What do you think a signature in an Unbreakable Contract normally looks like?”

I wasn’t in the mood to play. “I don’t know Discord. Does it look like a normal signature?”

Discord chuckled. “It can, but most of the time it doesn’t. A signature for the Unbreakable Contract is much more unique and can never be forged. It can only be crafted willingly from your own magical energy as you sign the contract, and takes the form of that which defines you. Since you ponies are thankfully not boring or dull enough to only be defined by one thing, it often takes the appearance of a story.”

He waved at the illusion. “The little princeling did not lie about having signed the contract, but you have to ask if there’s more to his tale. I dare say that one of the princesses will get it in about 3…“

“It’s nothing but an extremely long signature.” Celestia tilted her head, zooming in to see if she’d missed something else. She walked around it to view it from another angle, yet she still could spot no discrepancies.

“2…“ The draconequus continued.

“There has to be something more,” Celestia murmured.

“1…”

Luna’s intake of breath was sharp and sudden. Her eyes had been slowly traveling from one inscription to the next, but now they traveled in leaps and bounds.

“Tia, it’s not just one signature…”

Celestia looked at her sister. “What?”

“It’s thousands- No, it’s tens of thousands of signatures.” The lunar princess lit her horn and highlighted each signature she could find with a different color.

“It is thirty-three thousand nine hundred and forty-seven signatures to be exact. In addition to me, it is every nymph, drone, lord, breeder, infiltrator, warrior, analyst and harvester we have left.” Prince Morpheus’ gaze had yet to leave Celestia. The dare still held.

Celestia held her anger in. Luna was not so subtle.

“If that is the case, then what you are proposing amounts to genocide if you fail, little prince.” Her voice was deathly quiet and yet remarkably more terrifying than the Royal Canterlot Voice ever was.

Morpheus still had his gaze locked on Celestia, who seemed to have frozen still in an attempt to divert all her control to managing the anger that one could literally see radiating off her. That did not stop him from snapping back at Luna. “It is genocide on my head either way if I fail. Does it matter if ve make it quick and painless compared to slow extinction from starvation?”

Luna flared her wings and stomped the ground. “You would dare to presume such a thing? Even if you are telling the truth about your species starvation, you would dare to presume that your own death would destroy any hope they had of finding another solution?”

The prince bared his fangs. “Yes, ve would dare such a thing! If ve die, one of the remaining lords will take our place. And they will not consider peace an option after ve fail. They will either be stupid enough to try another invasion, or the changelings will simply hide in the shadows as they’ve done for the past few centuries, slowly wasting away from not enough food. We’ve run out of nations to hide in! They always either lack enough food or find us faster than we can replace casualties. My subjects are as good as dead either way if I fail. Why shouldn’t ve spare them from facing a slow, agonizing death?”

“Genocide? I don’t think I’ve heard that word before.” I gave the discussion around me only a passing thought – my face scrunching as my brain tried to tease meaning from the new word. “I know ‘cide’ is the suffix used to describe crimes involving systematic killing, but ‘geno’ is a new prefix for me.”

Celestia’s head snapped up at my comment. As I’d said she’d been trying to hold her anger in. She had clenched her muscles tight to lock down any reaction, and she had been returning Morpheus’s stare in full.

Now she stared at me wide-eyed, and I cannot say for sure what she saw in me, but it made her livid.

Princess Celestia Solaris Invictus, Diarch of Equestria and Commander of the Rising Sun, turned to glare upon the our visitor with a baleful, burning gaze. For eons she had lead armies to battle, and she had seen nations rise and fall. It was she who had originally defeated Nightmare Moon. It was she who had faced the mad-god Discord and won – the princess who gave us the dawn, had slain tyrants, moved mountains, and even stopped time once.

Most would wilt under such a glare, yet the prince held his ground.

The room was silent as Celestia put forth her judgment. She stood tall with her wings spread imperiously, and when she spoke I felt nothing but pity for the changeling as she used her ‘To the Sun’ voice.

“You have placed me in a very difficult position, Prince Morpheus. I was willing to give you a chance before this little discovery. If it had just been you bound by this travesty of a spell, I would have accepted it as the offer of good faith you clearly meant it to be. However, I cannot and will not condone what you’ve done here.”

Her horn flashed a brilliant gold before turning a blinding white. Her eyes filled with light, and her mane burst into flames.

“The only reason I have decided not to smite you where you stand is that I cannot, in good conscious, take the chance I am sentencing the rest of your species to an agonizingly slow death at the same time.”

The floor shook almost violently. My bones ached from the vibrations and the magic the princess radiated. I was terrified she would actually carry through with the voice’s namesake for once as I witnessed the first recorded surge Celestia had experienced in millenia.

The contract burned in her magical grip. The sigils and stories of the changeling race that surrounded us melted before our eyes into the baser magic behind them.

Circle after circle appeared behind the princess as she forged a spell of incredible strength. She gathered the molten slag of pure magic left behind from the contract and began to craft it anew. What had taken Morpheus months by his own admission took the princess less than a minute to complete, and as she finished the spell the contract blazed with the light of the night sky as thousands of miniature suns formed where her signatures were needed.

The surge ended, but the voice remained. A small sheet of paper hung before the prince.

“If you truly desire peace, you will accept this Unbreakable Contract and sign it in your name only. You will find all the stipulations you drafted before in place, but there are also several clauses to check and make sure you never try to abuse this spell again. It is a bit extreme and hypocritical. I know that, but it is also probably the quickest and most efficient way for me to make sure you have not done anything else this despicable in the brief time you’ve had access to the spell. I will give you your month to convince me that I can let other changelings into Equestria. Just know that if you fail now it is most likely because of this stunt you pulled. Take that as you will.”

With her ruling given, Celestia motioned to her sister. The soft light of the moon joined the light of a thousand suns upon the contract, and the sisters strode to the exit.

Celestia stopped there and spoke to me, refusing to look back in the room. “Princess Twilight Sparkle, you have heard my judgment. I humbly ask that you take Prince Morpheus into your home and let him stay in Ponyville for his month long trial run. If anypony has even the smallest chance of convincing me of his worth, it is you.

“However—” she paused, voice quivering as she struggled to maintain the little composure she had regained “—I must ask that you keep the specifics on this meeting a secret from everypony – even your friends. The Unbreakable Contract is a dangerous spell. I should have known it would eventually be rediscovered, but we cannot afford to let anypony know about it for the time being. If the wrong pony found out about it, they could easily manipulate events to force Morpheus – or any other changeling we may eventually use it on – into breaking it. You know what would happen then.”

The solar princess started to continue leaving, but she hesitated. Tentatively she spoke once more. “Twilight, I have one more thing to say. Actually, I want to ask you as a friend. As your mentor I know how curious you get. Please leave the subject of genocide alone. It has been so long since I’ve heard that word that I’m not even sure you will be able to find anything on it, but trust me when I say you do not want to look into it.”

And then she was gone.

That was the beginning, as best as I can recall. It was rather an abysmal beginning, but it was better than it could have been. The fact that Prince Morpheus was given a chance shows that. I have a feeling you’ll want to schedule Prince Morpheus for the next review though. His first real day living in Ponyville was rather unique, and I could tell you if pressed, but I believe he can convey those events much better than I can.

Getting to Know the Castle (Morpheus) Part 1

Getting to Know the Castle (Morpheus) - Revised V2 Part 1

Changing Time’s Notes: As I reread this report in preparing it for the manuscript, I feel it is perhaps a bit unfair of me to target mostly ponies with this book. There were and still are some changelings who try to destroy the peace our nations are trying to maintain. These are the outliers though. They have, for the most part, already been handled by the prince.

Indeed, I find myself disappointed that the changelings are so ahead of us in this respect.

Getting to Know the Castle: A Report by Morpheus of House Sycadia

My first technical day in Ponyville was a political nightmare. In hindsight, there were so many mistakes I made, some of my own design and some from our hivemind musings.

My first real day – the day that I always think of as the first – is something I will always remember. It had both its good points and bad points, but it was a fair first day – far better than I deserved.

After the negotiations, Twilight led me to my room. Our thoughts were whirling through a myriad of calculations as the princess led the way. The meeting had not gone as planned and ve needed to adjust our equations accordingly. With the diarchs furious at me, I could no longer count on their support if any complications arose on our end.

It was a frustrating development. By forcing me ‒ and only me – to sign the Unbreakable Contract the other lords were now free to interfere with our plans. Ve hadn’t been lying when ve said that stunt had been meant as a mercy, but there was so much more to it than that. Events became much harder to predict without the leverage that original contract had provided both the princesses and us over certain changelings.

Then there was the whole issue with mother and the plans I knew she was bound to be plotting.

Already the probabilities were beginning to spiral out of control in our head. Ve were going to need a team of analysts for this. I could only hope the few analysts I trusted would be enough. Filing our preliminary calculations away, a brief flick of my magic alerted the right changelings as to the location and access code of the data in the archives.

With that done I shook myself from my musings to find we had arrived at my room. I nodded my thanks to Twilight, but she barely acknowledged me. Her eyes had a faraway look, and I could only assume she was processing the day’s events much like I was.

I let her go and entered my room.

It had a simple yet comfortable bed with egg-white sheets. There were several empty dressers and a small desk with a chair. Ve believed the wood was mahogany at a glance, but couldn’t be sure without more tests.

It was altogether completely unremarkable, and I let the filters on my other senses slip to feel exactly the same thing.

The air tasted sterile in the most extreme sense. While there was only a faint smell of cleaning products and disinfectants, there was a strange lack of all the other smells that labeled this either a home or a castle.

There wasn’t the faint aroma of the constantly active kitchens castles always had, and ve found a distinct lack of signs that another pony had even been here. There wasn’t the natural earthy musk of earth ponies, nor the salty tang of pegasai, nor the oddly natural perfume of unicorns. Even the smell of the furniture was somehow muted. Ve had smelled mahogany before. It normally has a rather rich aroma, but here it was dulled. The aroma was the same, simply lacking in vividness.

I heard nothing but an uncomfortable silence or my own actions, and my hearing is sensitive enough on its own to travel several halls when I’m not filtering background noise. To hear nothing like that was off-putting.

Traveling the room, I ran my hoof over the floor, walls, and furniture. There were no unseen nicks or indentations. The bed was as springy as the day it was made, and the carpet had neither wear nor tear to it. No pony had even been in this room before.

Finally, I tasted the emotions in the air. Without the princesses around, the air should have been mostly empty – at least, assuming this part of the castle was as untouched as it seemed – but, like before, there were several incredibly strong emotions around me. It was such an oddity that it took me several confused seconds to pinpoint the source.

The castle itself was radiating emotions all around. Emotions from the walls, the floor, and even the furniture. It was lonely, exceedingly so. I had tasted that loneliness while meeting the princesses, but ve had not questioned it nor its source. It had been much more muted there – an insignificant bit of background noise compared to here and now. Here it had such strength that it transcended normal taste.

Even in the split second it took to filter the emotions down to a manageable level I saw enough to empathize with the castle. Such loneliness tasted like the salty dry desert air to the far east. It tasted of our home – the Badlands – and I could see myself wandering under its empty sky as I had done during my nymph-hood days.

There was more than simple loneliness, however, as I finally put the filter in place. Thankfully, there was a warm welcoming calm to it that tasted like well-steeped tea with copious amounts of delicious honey. Its loneliness had yet to make it bitter. There was love, and it was directed at any and everypony.

Everypony except me, that is. The castle was cautious of me.

Caution is an odd and variable mix of emotions. Lots of things can make a creature cautious, although ve had no idea if the same rules applied to buildings. Ve had never seen a building with its own emotions. Some buildings and places were imbued over time with strong ambient emotions – like the Everfree Forest – and some buildings channeled the emotions of the inhabitants like the capitol of the Crystal Empire, but this castle was actually emoting. There were subtle and glacially slow shifts in its feelings, and it was a completely new experience for us.

Friendship Castle directed a small simmering anger towards me coupled with a tiny amount of fear. It was insignificant compared the sheer scale of emotional energy it devoted to everypony else. I was simply a fish in the ocean to it.

Its anger was of a spicy variety, and the fear – I guess dread would be a more accurate term – added a cold, dry and icy texture to that. Oddly enough, there was no bitterness to its cautiousness. It was wary of me, but not outright distrustful.

All and all, it tasted like rainbow snowcones.

Sighing, I reraised the filters on my senses and decided to worry about it later. The room itself seemed sufficient, after all.

It was just missing one thing: a proper web.

Looking to the ceiling, I licked my chops. “Alright… Ve know the memories are here somewhere….” Years worth of nymphhood memories began to play before my eyes. “Can’t believe I forgot how to do it. I know the drones grow faint at the idea of me doing it myself, but, really…”

The correct memories found and analyzed, I started weaving small strands of silk together. Eventually the microscopic strings became twisted ropes, and I began to fly up to the ceiling to place them. What didn’t stick in place was glued into position by careful application of an adhesive form of saliva. The recipe was old, and I just knew it was going to gum up my gums and glands, but it was the only recipe ve found.

An hour or so passed, and I finally finished to wrap myself in a suspended cocoon of fresh silk. It was only as I closed my eyes to retreat into slumber that it occurred to us that Twilight probably expected me to use the bed.

Ve did not dream as a pony would normally think of dreaming.

Pony dreams are murky and chaotic things. Ve don’t understand them that well ourselves, but, from what ve have gathered, the dreamer often has little control of the dream.

Ve retreated into our own personal ‘node’ in the hivemind to catalogue the day’s events, run any calculations or simulations ve needed, and to simply explore what was new to the archives.

And best of all there was no concept of me – only us.

I was resting and recuperating my body. Ve saw fit to tackle the problems of the day I had been too busy to properly ruminate over.

Ve tried to organize our thoughts on the negotiations of the day before, ve replayed events over and over in an attempt to gain an understanding of where things went wrong.

From there ve cross-referenced those moments through various archives in an attempt to figure out why they went wrong. From that theoretical understanding, ve began to run various simulations on what ve could have done differently to project various outcomes for an ideal situation – most of which ended in dire straights.

Simulation R was particularly bad.

Ve barely acknowledged a royal engagement to Twilight before vetoing it. It was unlikely the princesses would acknowledge anything other than a proper loving union – especially Cadance – and ve didn’t have time to sell them on the idea of a purely political marriage. Ve doubted they could even understand why ve couldn’t provide anything else, anyways.

Regardless of our failed musings, I woke early that morning, refreshed and ready for the day. I grinned as I wriggled out of my confines to drop to the floor – stretching the kinks from my joints as I stood. The previous night’s simulations were much more amusing in hindsight. I had no idea how ve could have possibly been thinking straight to consider a political marriage of all things, and the option to hijack the sun by connecting Princess Celestia to a potato clock was just ludicrous.

The team of analysts I’d called yesterday had had much more luck with their nightly projections, and ve were confident ve could turn things around with Princess Twilight at the least, if not necessarily Celestia.

That at least gave us a chance.

They had already laid a sizable groundwork for the web of probabilities. Chances of success were somewhat higher than everyling originally predicted, but that was mostly due to how pessimistic the lords and analysts had been about initial contact.

However – despite surviving contact – circumstances could have admittedly been better. The sheer number of new outcomes that might arise from other lords meddling was worrisome.

I updated the web with the few significant musings ve had concocted overnight, and a spark of magic signaled the analysts again. I grinned at the lack of any backlash. I hadn’t dared to trust last night’s results when my body was still adapting to the Unbreakable Contract.

Now I knew I had kept my second ace in the hole.

I had almost accidentally ruined it when I revealed the hivemind to Twilight, but no pony had caught on.

Magic I could use without permission was incredibly limited by the contract. I did have permanent permission to the most simple of spells such as light and telekinesis, but I was otherwise unable to do anything impressive.

The hivemind, however, was a biological function – not a magical one – and Celestia had only bound my magic.

With that in mind, the spell I was using to signal the rest of the hive was one of the first spells every changeling learns. It’s a small message spell capable of sending only a few words. Unicorns tend to overlook it since they have better options, but changelings use it all the time to tell other changelings where they’ve hidden information in the archives.

With the contract in place, I could not personally defend the hive, but that did not mean I couldn’t execute any of my plans via proxy. It would be even more of a necessity now that the dissenting lords were free to interfere.

Grabbing a quill I began to write out orders for my various agents. I would need to pull out many of the infiltrators I had monitoring other nations to monitor the lords instead. It was a pity. The Minoans were gathering for war again, and I had almost found out who they were targeting. At only a two percent chance of invading either Equestria or the hive, however, ve needed to monitor the larger problems at home.

Several sheaves of parchment later I set the quill down to double and triple check my work. When the images of the pages were all but burned into my retina, I scrambled and stored the sensory data in the archives for my agents to decrypt.

Another flick of magic sent the appropriate signal as I tossed the evidence in the fire within the hearth. I picked myself up to go find Twilight. I had a feeling she’d have questions after last night. The sooner I answered them the sooner I’d get an actual ally here.

Given the time, I felt confident in leaving my room and not running into anypony else. There was Twilight’s assistant, but ve were confident he had been informed of the situation already.

Upon standing, however, I noticed the hollow feeling within my heart and the grumbling in my stomach. I was hungry, and – while it was easy to sate my physical hunger here in Ponyville ‒ it was less easy to appease the emotional one.

That needed to be addressed quickly.

I picked up the pace and trotted down the halls. Several minutes later I picked up a small taste of emotions with my extended senses. Following it led me to the most magnificent library ve had ever laid eyes on.

Thousands of years of scuttling about Equus’ shadow – searching every nook and cranny of the world – and this was the library to top them all. It even topped the oldest memories ve had on the lost library of Star Swirl the Bearded.

While not as wide or expansive as Star Swirl’s library – at least, according to ancient hivemind records – the library of Twilight’s castle was easily as large in that it was incredibly tall. I was in what appeared to be the central hub of the library. It was a large spherical room dotted with various floating islands – all of which contained tables or pillows or desks with which one could read and relax. In the center there appeared to be a floating magical construct of some kind, its gears and gizmos ticking and turning. Glowing crystals were carried by gyroscopic arms in hypnotic patterns, and a slow heart-like thud could be heard from its center.

Around the walls on each half of the library were alcoves and balconies filled with various shelves or equipment. There were maps, charts, taxidermic collections, planetariums, books – can’t forget the books – and plenty of other things I wasn’t sure of from just a series of simple glances. It was almost more of a museum than a library, but the sheer volume of books won out in the end.

At the bottom of the spherical room, the library continued down through the trunk of the crystal tree. Taking some quick estimations, ve hazarded a guess that it ran all the way to the base of the tree.

Of all the rooms I had seen or passed so far, this was the both the grandest and the homeliest – truly fitting for the Castle of Friendship. There was the lingering scent of different ponies searching for their books and the musty smell of parchment and ink from used books. Some ponies smelled fresh and strong, while others were somewhat faded and rare.

It was almost as quiet as the rest of the castle had been, but it was a fitting quiet. I could hear small fires crackling in several of the reading alcoves, and the soft rhythmic beating and humming of the construct in the center lulled me into a sense of contentment with the relative silence. Running my hoof in circles on the ground, I got a feel for it: the floor already had signs of wear – a testament to how much this library had seen use given the castle’s relative youth.

Taking a small taste of the emotions in the air I found the room overflowing with the love and affection of the castle. The not-so-little centerpiece of the library was radiating so much emotion in here that I couldn’t pinpoint the source of Twilight’s emotions, and with that much love around me I couldn’t help but consume a hint of it. Immediately, the device in the center of the room swiveled one of its gyroscopic arms towards me – the crystal glowing intently as if it were staring at me. Remembering that I did not want to displease the emoting, possibly sentient, castle, I quickly re-erected my mental filter to prevent myself from taking any more.

“Sorry! I couldn’t stop myself with that much emotion in here.” I called out to it and cocked my head to the side. “Can you even hear or understand us? Ve’ve never encountered something like you before, and ve’re somewhat at a loss as to how ve should treat you.”

The construct continued to stare at me.

I shook my head and launched myself into the air. “I’ll assume that’s a no for now.”

Tasting the air gave me a faint trail to follow. Twilight Sparkle, like all unicorns, had a natural perfume-like scent. Ve found her to be reminiscent of lavender and lilies – a rather pleasant smell. I savored it for a moment before leaping into the air to track it.

The trail led to the upper reaches of the far side of the room. There I found Twilight dozing amid a large pile of books. Bags were under her eyes, and her coat and mane were somewhat dishevelled. Glancing at the books around her, I found many political classics from the ages. Civil Disobedience by Freedom Herald, The Law of Civilization and Decay by Gold Standard, The Prince by Golden Plot, there was a veritable hoard of essays to go through, and ve couldn’t help but to whistle in appreciation. Her head was even resting on Sun Tzu’s Art of War – a Kirin work that was as good as banned in this day and age, given Equestria’s usual stances on war.

Approaching the princess cautiously, I gently nudged her with a hoof to try and wake her. “Princess Twilight?”

She twitched slightly before murmuring something half audible about spreadsheets and checklists. I nudged her again with a little more force and met success this time. Groggily, she raised her head and gazed about with bleary eyes.

“Eurgh… Morning Spike. Remind me not to drink coffee after two in the morning. It gave me that dream about my checklists coming to life and deciding to check me off again.”

Ve paused momentarily, cocking our head to the side. Mixing us up with Spike was understandable. The princess had yet to look directly at us. Ve, however, had no idea what context ve were supposed to take the idea of a pony being checked off in. There were at least three different ways ve could interpret that, and all of them left us feeling slightly queasy for completely different reasons. In the end I decided it was probably best not to pry.

“Spike isn’t here, princess.” Her head jolted to look at me as I spoke. “Do forgive the intrusion, but I’ve discovered a small problem with my stay here.”

“You mean besides the fact that I’m housing what most of Equestria thinks of as public enemy number one?” The snark in her voice was so sharp it could pierce chitin.

I flinched slightly, and made a slight adjustment to the master equations.

She sighed. “Sorry. I’m not a morning pony, and it gets worse when I pull an all-nighter. Just hold on a second.” Her horn lit up and a second later a small cylinder labelled Emergency Morning Elixir appeared in front of her in a flash of light. Twisting the top off she began to guzzle copious amounts of what smelled like high quality coffee down her throat. Several cups later, she teleported the cylinder away with a contented hum.

“Alright, what’s the problem?” She cocked her head at me.

I hesitated slightly. “Well… I’m starting to get hungry, and I may have forgotten to bring a form of emotional sustenance for me to consume during my stay. I can go a couple days without emotion, and I’ll probably be able to gather at least some ambient emotion around town, but if I can’t get ahold of a good source of emotion soon…”

Twilight sighed. “Of course… I don’t suppose there’s a way to fake it until I can get the town to marginally trust you? Is there another substance that we can substitute for love? A drug? A stimulant? Anything?”

I shook my head. “There is love poison, but that can have… side effects…. We don’t need to necessarily worry yet, though. It’s entirely possible that Ponyville will have enough ambient emotion to provide for us. For hive’s sake, your castle alone could provide for me and an entire city of changelings alone if it wasn’t so cautious towards us.”

Twilight tilted her head slightly – ear flicking back and forth. “My castle?”

I nodded and gestured to the centrepiece of the library which was still staring at me. “Yeah, your castle seems to actually be alive, or at least capable of emoting. See it watching us now? It’s basically handing out free love to every pony in town except me. Not that that’s necessarily a bad thing. Ve have no idea what feeding off of the castle would do to it or us.”

Twilight’s eyes had slowly widened, pupils dilating, as I said this. She began grinning manically, and a small sparkle crept into her eye. It was a look ve knew all too well from some of the archives.

“I can’t believe it! I’m living in a living castle? This is going to make such a great research project!” She made a noise I can only guess was a squeal, and I momentarily blacked out from the pitch of it. “I’m going to need to spend at least a couple nights on background research. Oh! This’ll be so much fun.”

I hesitantly tried to bring Twilight back from her own little world. “Do you really have time to do any research now, though? I thought we were going to introduce me to the town today. We need to get our stories straight for that.”

She casually waved a hoof at me as her horn lit up. “Oh! Don’t worry about that!” New books began to gather from various corners of the library while the books around her scattered back to their places. A small folder that had been buried beneath the table sorted its contents and winked out of existence. I barely caught the label of Princess Lessons upon it.

“We can’t even begin to think about meeting the town itself until you’ve met my friends. I mean, if my friends don’t take to you, I doubt the rest of the town will. And, before my friends get to know you, I need to get to know you. I doubt Rainbow or Applejack will even give you a chance without a proper vouch from me.” She flashed me a smile. “I already put out a notice the library would be closed today so we would be able to talk and get to know each other better. I don’t see why I can’t get some light research done at the same time.”

“This is light for you?” I gestured around at all the books.

The princess shook her head. “Oh, this is just the background research. I’ll start that later tonight when I can actually devote more focus to it. Right now I just want to confirm that the castle is actually emoting for myself. Shouldn’t take too long if I can find the right instruments in my lab.”

I ran a hoof through my mane and sighed. There I was on a mission of peace, and the princess was already almost jumping ship to a new project.

I almost called her out on it, but I couldn’t do it. She was just being herself – royalty or not. Hive knows how often I wished I could do that while juggling at least ten different facades at all the functions back home.

Instead, I forced a grin. “Well… If your goal today is to get to know me more, I suppose I could just show you how the castle feels. Lab equipment is nice and all, but it pales in comparison to actually tasting the emotions yourself. And it would certainly save time from running to wherever your lab is.”

“You can just give ponies the ability to sense emotions?” She arched an eyebrow at me.

I nodded. “Yes. I’d need your permission, of course, given that’d I’d need to cast a spell to do it, but other than that it’s not really that complicated.”

Twilight flinched at the mention of my casting a spell on her. It was barely perceptible to even my eyes, and wouldn’t have even been detectable to a pony’s eyes. She hesitated, and I wondered if I had made a big mistake in offering. I hadn’t been able to properly track her emotions with all of the interference from the castle, and she’d just been so animated about a new potential project that I couldn’t help but offer.

Now I could taste a faint but steady stream of curdled milk.

“Yeah, it’s f-fine. Go ahead.” She finally nodded – her voice somewhat shaky.

We sat there in awkward silence for a moment before I addressed the dragon in the room. “Are you going to actually give me permission? You know I can’t cast magic unless you bid it using the contracts passphrase.

“Oh! Sorry! That completely slipped my mind. I was thinking about the first time I saw a changeling cast a spell.”

Her voice was still shaking somewhat as she used the contracts passphrase, and I couldn’t help but curse mother for her rather forceful approach to magic, politics, and everything in general.

“I, Princess Twilight Sparkle, do hereby grant Prince Morpheus access to the spell requested. He is to be allotted only one cast of said spell – with duration of no greater than 20 minutes – unless permission is regranted.”

I sighed in exasperation. “Princess, I can hear the slight quiver in your voice. I don’t even need to try and focus on your emotions, although the castle’s kind of making that really hard at the moment. If you don’t want me to cast the spell, I won’t.”

She gave an audible sigh of relief and her ears perked slightly at the end of my declaration. “What do you mean the castle is making sensing my emotions difficult?”

I looked towards the construct. “I mean it’s projecting so much emotion that it’s hard to get a good read on anything with the filters I need to set up.”

Her head tilted to the side. “Filters?”

Shaking my head, I chuckled. “Are you going to keep doing this? I can simply give you an explanation on how we taste emotions if this is going to be an issue. How would you like that as a project for now? That might actually be better if you want my help.”

“Two projects in one day!” I found myself momentarily blacking out again at her squeal of excitement. This time it threatened to stretch into an inaudible frequency. This is actually much more impressive than it sounds – impressive as it already is – as the changeling range of hearing is more varied than the typical pony one. It’s not an incredible difference, but I’m fairly certain it’s enough that she was into the range of sounds inaudible to pony ears, and part of me couldn’t help but wonder if she practiced it as such to prevent breaking the library’s rules on staying quiet.

Steadying myself from her exclamation, I chuckled. Twilight was already grabbing a new series of notebooks to replace the books she was going to use for the castle. “Alright. Here’s the first thing you need to know about changelings then. I find it summarizes us quite nicely. Are you paying attention?”

Twilight nodded with at least four different quills floating above separate notebooks.

“The easiest way to consider changelings is to remember one simple fact,” I pointed a hoof at her, and she looked at me quizzically. “It’s something you’re quite acquainted with actually.”

I flashed a grin. “Information is power.”

Getting to Know the Castle (Morpheus) Part 2

Getting to Know the Castle (Morpheus) - Revised V2 Part 2

I won’t go into all the details of our talk. It was long and not for the academically faint of heart given Twilight’s thirst for knowledge and the hivemind’s ability to act as the world’s greatest book on useless trivia. We sat there for hours, simply talking about changelings and going on the most bizarre tangents, and – thanks to the small box she teleported in labelled Emergency Academic Rations – we were able to stave off hunger and skip breakfast to continue our discussion for quite some time.

I’m not sure she fully believed everything ve said, given her later reactions to a couple first hoof experiences with the odder aspects of changeling life, but she was studious enough to constantly be taking notes.

More important, however, was the fact that after about half an hour of intense discussion she had returned to a more relaxed state. While Twilight was much more willing to give these talks a chance compared to Celestia: even she had certain phobias about changelings. It was fitting in a way, I suppose.

She showed no fear at having to potentially pick friend from foe. She had complete trust that as long as you were truly a friend to somepony that you would be able to see a changeling for what it truly was. It was refreshingly naïve to be honest.

The circumstances of her discovery of my mother were rare. Few are the number of ponies who are observant enough to catch a changeling in their element. In fact, it was mostly the spells and devices that saw through our disguises that had led us to the brink of extinction. Honestly, ve might have laughed at her stance had I not found the idea at least partially endearing. If what she had said were true, changelings might have considered making peace and friends a long time ago.

Of course, ve still couldn’t help but chuckle cynically at the other option to that being true. After all, such a case might have caused us to go extinct long ago.

No, she didn’t fear being replaced or being unable to see through any changeling’s disguise.

What she feared was our use of mind-affecting magic, although it took me a while to figure this out – or at least to confirm our suspicions. I waited until she was calm enough to try and rationally talk about it – steering the discussion to bring it up as a natural part of the conversation so that she hopefully wouldn’t overreact.

Just as I attempted to tactfully approach the subject, I found all our efforts were derailed by the small issue of lunch – or rather the one who delivered it.

“Hey, Twilight!” a voice cut into our conversation. “I know you said not to bother you in the morning when you pull an all-nighter, but it’s officially noon and you didn’t come down for breakfast. I thought you might like some—“

I was currently facing the other way from talking to Twilight, but I flinched as the newcomer’s gaze fell on me and bathed me with emotion.

“Oh… You were talking with him.”

The bitter emphasis on the word ‘him’ was clear to me, even without the feelings surging through the air. I turned to face the metaphorical dragon in the room, and – oddly enough – it turned out to be an actual dragon. I could see his muscles tense as my eyes locked onto him, and I could hear his breathing grow ever-so-slightly more haggard.

The sour taste of curdled milk in the air nearly had my head spinning, and I was really glad I was still maintaining my emotional filter. I had a feeling I would have gotten more than a taste of his fears had I not.

“Now, Spike,” Twilight chided, “We talked about this last night.” I felt Spike’s emotions spike for a second. Even with the filter on, I briefly saw a flash of something. I’m not sure what it was, and I didn’t want to know more. All I can really recall about it is the chittering and a sense of running.

“We need to be willing to give the changelings a chance. We gave Discord a chance, and that worked out beyond all expectations. Don’t you think the changelings are almost a step down from that? I mean…”

I messaged my forehead, reorienting myself as Twilight naively continued on. It was clear Twilight didn’t realize just how strong Spike’s feelings on my stay were, and it took most of my self-control not to reveal this while Spike was in the room.

“…understand, Spike?” I focused my gaze on the dragon to gauge his physical reaction in addition to his mental one.

“Yes, Twilight.” His face and tone were somewhat forced as he responded, but it was apparently enough to convince Twilight.

“Good!” she said, clapping her hooves together. “Now what were you saying before? Something about me liking something or other?”

“Yeah…” Spike ran into the hall and pushed a cart laden with food into the room. “I thought you might like some lunch while you were working on whatever project you were doing…” I flinched again as he continued under his breath. “…even if that project happens to be talking to the son of the monster responsible for brainwashing our brother.”

Glancing at Twilight, it was clear she had heard from her rather shaky smile. I internally sighed as all my progress was lost.

I wanted to curse to the Azure Veil, but this was my fault. I had actually almost lost myself to the conversation for a while. If I’d really cared about wasting time, I wouldn’t have humored so many of Twilight’s tangential questions, but I’d been having fun instead of focusing on my mission. I could have gotten to the root of Twilight’s issue before, but now there was a scaley obstacle in the way.

And it was messing everything up.

If there was one thing I learned leading the changelings, though, it’s how important it is to know when to and when not to hold a façade.

I smiled before taking care of the easy part – the façade. “Well, I for one am starving after skipping breakfast for a couple snacks. Thank you for the lunch, Spike, but Twilight and I have research to get back to. Right, Twilight?”

Twilight gave a muted nod, and I continued on. “Unfortunately, we were just about to talk about changeling reproductive habits.” Twilight opened her mouth to say something, but I shot her a look and arched an eyebrow. She closed her mouth and I continued. “While I have no idea if you’ve been given the talk on the birds and the bees, I do know that changeling reproduction tends to make even the hardiest of individuals turn a sickly, green pallor.”

I pointedly omitted the fact that changelings have green blood – and thus the fact they blushed green.

I waved a hoof at the cart. “In fact, this lovely lunch will most likely have to wait until after our discussion as projectile vomiting is a severe hazard.”

I gently pushed Spike and his protests of not being a kid anymore out the door to our little alcove. “If you’d be so kind as to set lunch up in the dining hall, I’m sure Twilight and I will be down momentarily. Now if you’d excuse us please.”

The dragon glared at me for a second before opening his mouth to retort.

Twilight saw this and decided to step in. “Spike, don’t worry about him. He can’t harm anypony while he’s here.”

Spike grumbled to himself as he pushed the cart back down the hall, and – while I couldn’t catch all of them – some of those words would make even sailors blush. Granted they were outdated enough to only make sailors from ancient Roan blush, but it was still quite an impressive amount of profanity. It was a wonder what living in a library did for one’s vocabulary.

Turning back to Twilight I dropped the cheery façade. “Alright, Twilight. I was going to bring this up more tactfully, but that’s not really an option anymore. It’s time for the direct approach. Are you afraid of me?”

Twilight squirmed. “I wouldn’t say—“

I cut her off. “Don’t avoid the question.”

“Yes— No— Maybe. I don’t know….” She sighed. “I thought I was okay after the meeting yesterday…. If there’s one thing I learned from Discord, it’s that I should at least give even the vilest of villains a chance at redemption….”

I snorted. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“You know that’s not what I mean!” Twilight snapped. Her ears fell flat as she heard her exclamation, and she continued in a subdued voice. “From what I have to go on, you’re nowhere near as bad as Chrysalis, and you’re both miles below where Discord used to be. No, nothing was wrong until I told Spike about you…. He was less than pleased, and we got into an argument over it. Some of the things he said… I know they were harsh, but I can’t help but wonder to some degree.”

Our tongue clicked against the roof of our mouth as ve mulled over her confession and whether or not we should reveal just how strongly Spike felt.

Sighing, ve relented. It wouldn’t be proper, but it was something I knew Twilight needed to know. “Ve guess ve should have expected that your friends would influence you against us just as much as you might influence them into helping us.”

I looked to the doorway Spike had left through. “Tell us, though. Do you know just how afraid Spike feels? I could feel waves of negative emotion coming off him even with the castle drowning almost everything else out. He loathes my very being here – enough that any argument he made is easily clouded with too much bias.”

“Don’t take that statement lightly either…” I shook my head, cutting off Twilight as she tried to respond. “The fact ve are willing to share his emotional state means it’s a serious problem.”

I pawed nervously at the ground. “It’s somewhat of an unspoken courtesy among changelings not to share what another individual is feeling if they’re purposely trying to hide it from others. Even telling you he hates me more than you know feels like an invasion of privacy.”

Twilight stared to where her assistant had left. “He really feels that strongly?”

I nodded.

“And I suppose you’d be unwilling to show me just how strongly he feels with that spell you mentioned from earlier?”

I hesitantly nodded again. “That would be too great an invasion of privacy, especially considering the true strength of his feelings. This is something you and him need to work out. That’s the whole reason I even told you anything. Any direct involvement from myself would simply make things worse, and it’s not like a disguise would help me here.”

I tasted a hint of the driest of wines waft through the air for a second as the princess slumped in her seat. “Well, if that’s how it has to be, that’s how it has to be.” She smiled slightly. “Still… It’s nice to see you care for him a little, even if he doesn’t care for you. Not many ponies would think about Spike’s privacy in that situation. If they knew exactly what he was feeling, they’d probably show me without a second thought so I could fix whatever they thought the problem was. Hay, I’m not even sure I’d be able to resist doing that.”

I tapped the side of my head. “Always remember the first lesson when dealing with changelings: information is power. And that means knowing when it’s better to keep something to yourself. Ve could have simply shown you, but you haven’t necessarily earned that right yet in Spike’s mind. You need to reach out to him yourself to earn that. Isn’t that all part of your reports on friendship? The trials of friendship only lead to making you better friends?”

Twilight laughed at that. “Do you actually have those reports in that head of yours?”

I grinned sheepishly, rubbing the back of my head. “Mother was forced to read most of them by Princess Celestia during her infiltration. She may have found them to be garbage, but ve found them rather refreshing. Ve saw the trust you and your friends placed in each other and well… That was what led to this whole integration idea.”

“I find that to be rather ironic.” Twilight chuckled. “Chrysalis tried to save the changelings from extinction by conquering Equestria, and its greatest success was sowing the seeds for possible peace.” She turned her head towards the construct in the middle of the library. “You know… I wouldn’t mind you casting that spell on me now – the one to let me feel the castle’s feelings. We could do that now and go join Spike for lunch to talk about the results. I wouldn’t mind your input on researching the castle. You have far more experience with emotions, given the whole changeling thing.”

My grin grew. “Sure! Ve don’t really have any knowledge on something this unique in the hivemind, but I’m sure some of the normal rules apply, and, like you said earlier today, it’ll help us get to know each other.”

Twilight smiled warmly and waved for me to come closer. “I’m pretty sure that permission from before still stands since you never actually cast the spell. I’d rather not go through all that pomp and circumstance again, so why don’t you just come over here and cast it?”

I joined Twilight and together we went to the edge of the railing to stare out towards the construct, and it turned one of its gyroscopic arms to face us.

“Strange how I never noticed it acting that way before.” Twilight mused, bracing herself for the spell. My horn’s aura ignited, and I touched my horn to Twilight’s head. A spark flew between us, and in my mind’s eye I crafted the results of the spell.

First, I laid down a second filter so that any and all input coming through me wouldn’t overwhelm her. Second ve established her connection with the hivemind. This was actually harder than ve expected in that our brain structures were quite different. I found there was no place to naturally connect the hivemind to, thus ve needed to scrounge up our knowledge of pony anatomy in the archives, and carefully divvy up its many functions to the closest pony equivalents in the brain.

I was reaching my limits by this point – hungry as I was – but ve knew ve couldn’t actually finish the connection without an additional third part. This spell was meant for one changeling to transfer emotions and memories in a way changelings could instinctually control and understand. Twilight didn’t have those instincts, so ve printed an impression of them on her that would wear off with the rest of the spell. I was a little worried the unbreakable contract would misinterpret the purpose of this extra part of the spell, but thankfully it followed in the spirit of the agreement as no harm actually came to Twilight.

Finally, I released the spell and Twilight’s pupils shrank at the influx of new data.

She cocked her head to the side then rolled her shoulders and head about as if shaking them would jumble things into alignment. Her face scrunched up in a rather amusing way as the raw data gave way to the first step of interpretation. “Ve can’t get the taste of coffee stained old books out of my mouth.” She blinked. “Odd… Did I just say ve?”

I laughed and shook my head. Of course it’d end up being books with her. “That would be my bad. It was difficult to give you the proper wiring. It sounds like you’re mixing all the emotions together, though. Try splitting them apart, and ve’ll help you understand them then if you still can’t do it on your own.”

Ve saw her brow furrow in heavy concentration and chuckled. “Don’t force it. Just do what feels right with the instincts ve provided.”

Her brow furrowed further for a second before things clicked. Her face suddenly relaxed to be replaced with a grin. “I did it! Okay, so now I’m tasting two things at once – three actually. This is so weird. I thought the taste thing was a metaphor, but it’s as if I’m actually tasting things in my mouth.”

I sheepishly rubbed the back of my head. “Yeah, ponies don’t have an exact equivalent in their brains for what we do. Ve had to hook up part of the emotion interpretation system to your physical senses so you could actually understand things. It could be more than just taste though. Some changelings compare it to visualizing or hearing the emotions rather than tasting them. It kind of varies. You mentioned books?”

Twilight nodded, scuffing her hoof on the ground as she mulled things over. “Yeah, there’s two books and a cup of the most delicious coffee I’ve ever had. Now that you mention it I can almost see the books themselves.” She closed her eyes and leaned over the rail. “One of them is immaculately cared for. It’s a pristine edition of my first and favorite Daring Do book. The other book is so ragged and worn I can’t read the title, and stains seem to litter the cover.”

I watched Twilight carefully as we came to the real test. “Alright then. I don’t normally get a visualization of incoming emotions, but what ve do know is that it’s supposedly the easiest form of input to understand. What do those ‘images’ make you feel? It may take more time to analyze closely, but you should never be unable to interpret a new emotion if you’re ‘seeing’ them.”

Twilight leaned forward even more. She was dangerously close to sliding over the edge now. “Hmm… Well… There’s nothing as comforting as a hot coffee during a long cold night of studying. It’s always there to pick you up when you need to keep going, and I have nothing but fond memories of that Daring Do book; It was like a dear friend to me as a filly. I could imagine going on adventures with Daring when my BBBFF was too busy. The last book just looks so… lost and alone. It isn’t worn down with dog ears caused by love and attention, it was chewed by the dog and dragged to a corner where no one ever found it. Love, comfort and loneliness. That’s what it’s feeling…”

I smiled and let the small electric sensation of pride slip past my carefully constructed filter. I didn’t even think about it. That’s how changelings teach other changelings. It’s a much more enriching reinforcement than simply being told ‘good job’. Twilight wasn’t a changeling, however, and she was leaning precariously over a ledge at that particular moment to get a better reading from the construct. Needless to say, she jumped and let out a small exclamation of shock that sent her tumbling over the edge.

I stood staring like an idiot for about a second before I acted. I was just about to dive after her when a voice came up from below reminding us why that wasn’t necessary.

“I’m alright” Twilight called flapping back over the railing. I say flapping because it was definitely not coordinated enough to be flying. Her breath was coming in small gasps, and her pupils were dilated. She was probably more surprised than I was.

“I’m alright.” She stretched as she got up, and I heard the crack of joints being released from nervous tension. “Just warn me next time you’re about to do whatever that was.” She looked at me, and her gaze brooked no argument. “Oh! And tell me what the hay that was.”

I shrugged. “Sorry. I got so wrapped up in what we were doing I forgot you weren’t born a changeling. That was our equivalent of a good job and a pat on the back. We literally transfer our approval to the individual in question. It’s much more meaningful that simply being told good job, as any changeling can simply sense if your spoken approval is sincere. It’s a sign of just how significant earning that approval was when it’s actually given to you as a reward.”

Her gaze softened. “Oh… Just warn me next time – if there even is one. As enlightening as being able to sense emotions is, it still feels incredibly bizarre, and that felt like it came out of nowhere.”

“Well it kind of was out of nowhere. I was filtering most of my emotions out of what you were getting so you wouldn’t need to deal with more information.” I nodded my horn towards her. “Want me to take the spell off now that you got a taste?”

She nodded. “Yeah. If Spike’s at lunch, having it on is a bad idea. If he’s really bottling that much emotion, I want to find out why on my own. You were right about those fears deserving to be private until he wants to share them with me.”

I tilted my head to the side. “To lunch then?”

Twilight nodded and smiled at me. “To lunch then.”

We walked out of our little alcove and down the hall, and I could swear the construct was still staring at me as we left.

“I think you’ll find that Spike’s an amazing cook.”

Twilight had continued to rattle on as we went down the hall.

“He’s also too picky to ruin any of his dishes, even if he knows you like any of them, so feel free to gorge yourself. It may not be love to snack on, but it’s definitely delicious.”

For my part I was quiet and let her talk, savouring the simplicity of her comments. It was time for lunch, and among changeling lords that usually meant it was prime time for backdoor politics. There was none of that in simple Ponyville, however. For once I found myself enjoying the idea of lunch.

I smiled to myself as Twilight continued. As quickly as it came, however, it was gone as that hollow feeling in my heart reasserted itself. I could only wonder how long I’d last if we didn’t find a good enough source of love for me to feed on. I’d tried to distract myself from it all day, but there was no denying its presence.

“We’re here!”

I was snapped out of my thoughts as we entered the dining hall. “Well this is cosier than I expected,” I said as I glanced around. It was true. There was only a single table that could seat maybe ten ponies comfortably. Rather than seats, there were cushions like those that I’d seen in the library – a massive stain threat, but undeniably more comfortable – and several roaring fireplaces kept the room feeling like a lazy summer day.

Three of the seats had been set, although it appeared Spike had hurriedly eaten and left before we got here. I sighed internally, but there wasn’t much I could do about that.

Twilight noticed his absence too, and I could see a small frown mar her face. The faint taste of dry wine spread through the emotions in the air again at that, but she hid her internal reaction well. “Yeah, we get that a lot. I think this is supposed to be for high end diplomatic meetings and close dinners with friends, but I haven’t actually found a grand hall style banquet room yet.”

I shrugged and walked to my seat. I could smell the soup beneath the silver covers of our plates, and I was dying to get at least one form of food in me. “Maybe Friendship Castle just doesn’t want any high and mighty banquets? A personal meal seems way more in line with fostering friendshi—“ I cut myself off as I raised the cover to my meal. I stared at it for a couple seconds before snorting. I tried to restrain my laughter, but there was no stopping the deep thrumming laugh that burst from my throat at what I found before me.

“What is it?” Twilight asked hesitantly. “Did Spike tamper with the food? I really thought he didn’t have it in him.”

I shook my head. “No, it’s not that. It’s just that I apparently started to make friends with two ponies today, and one of them wasn’t Spike."

“Huh?” Twilight’s eyebrow arched. “But you’ve only talked to me and him today. Who’s the other friend?”

I looked down to the alphabet soup in front of me, and read its message aloud. “Take my love, but only if there aren’t other options. –Friendship Castle” I paused to study Twilight’s face. It was scrunched up in what I was coming to realize was a sign of very confused, very deep thoughts. Chuckling, I continued. “P.S. Sir Spike ate your lunch to spite you when you guys took longer than exactly five minutes. P.P.S. Don’t take this as me getting too chummy with you. I’m still watching you, punk. I’ll always be watching you.”

One could almost see smoke pouring from Twilight’s head, and I couldn’t help but add to it. “I just love how it underlined the word always with a spaghetti noodle. It really gets the point across. Don’t you think, Twilight?”

Twilight took a second to actually notice I’d asked her something. It took another second for her to shut off the little fires I can only imagine were running in her head. And then it took another second to form a response as she lifted her own meal cover. “That just seems really creep-“ A small squeak erupted from her throat as she saw her own alphabet soup.

I grinned, and got up to go read it myself, as Twilight appeared incapable of sound.

“Of course it’s creepy, milady! I must beg your pardon, but why in Celestia’s name do you think I’ve been hiding my existence from you until now? What part of incredibly powerful magic castle that knows each and every movement of the inhabitants in it at all times doesn’t sound creepy and stalker-like to you? It’s not something I can bring up casually on my own. I only started talking because the cat’s pretty much out of the bag. I may as well talk to you both and make friends now. –Friendship Castle

“P.S. Sir Spike didn’t actually eat your lunch too, milady. It was just getting too cold for you to comfortably eat, so I replaced it when I replaced Morpheus’. I am sorry for it being low-quality soup from a can, but I’m not the cook Sir Spike is. I blame the lack of claws. Grumble… Grumble…”

“Grumble? Grumble?” I mused. “It does know those are sounds a pony makes and not words to be used, right?”

As I said that, the room shook twice, and we could hear the large grating noise of crystal on crystal. In the aftermath, I looked down at the soup to see a reply had formed in the shockwaves. “That’s the other option for grumbling. Would you rather I do it that way? –Friendship Castle”

Twilight gathered herself from the floor, and saw the message.

She shuddered. “So creepy…”

I chuckled. “I like you, Castle. I’m not sure Twilight appreciates your sense of humour yet though. Hopefully, that’ll change when she realizes she can now interview you directly for her research.”

I was expecting it even if I wasn’t prepared for it. For the third time that day, a girlish squeal of excitement rang out as Twilight thought of the implications of what I’d said on her research. And for the third time that day I blacked out slightly at the sheer amount of volume behind it.

Getting to Know the Castle (Morpheus) Part 3

Getting to Know the Castle (Morpheus) - Revised V2 Part 3

“Knight to E5.”

The chess piece moved over the board of it’s own accord, and my opponent’s piece moved in kind. The lights in the library briefly went dark only to reignite. The card in front of me had once said, “Mate in 8.”

Now it read, “Mate in 5. You made another mistake.”

I felt my cheeks burn green as ve saw what he meant. Our king was much more vulnerable now that he opened a path for his bishop. And ve didn’t have the knight for protection anymore.

Changelings didn’t normally play chess, but that was more because of our ability to keep track of all the possible ways the game might flow. It was too easy for us most of the time, and it usually ended in a stalemate. Playing Castle was something else entirely. Castle played mind game after mind game with me until I didn’t know what to predict anymore.

The very first turn that hive forsaken card had shown up after I blinked in surprise at his move.

It had said, “Mate in 42.”

His moves made no logical sense, yet at around turn 22 he’d moved a single pawn forward and the web of probable outcomes had suddenly shifted violently in his favor. Ve had spent the rest of the game trying to force a draw, but I was too panicked from the idea that ve might actually lose a game. Now it was a guaranteed loss in 5 moves.

I toppled my king in surrender. “Best two out of three?”

The pieces began to reassemble for another match.

“Interesting.” Twilight scribbled more into her notes. “Subject appears to be able to manipulate some objects anytime, but others continue to require a complete lack of observation from surrounding creatures.”

She pulled a couple more books from the library shelves around us. Looking at our set up in the middle of our current alcove in the library I saw her pupils dilate slightly as they passed over me. I could taste the faintest of spikes of fear that was quickly suppressed.

I internally sighed at that, but ve knew that she’d only acclimate to my appearance in time.

The chess pieces finished rearranging and Twilight addressed the chessboard.

“Castle, is there any way you can talk to us without turning the lights off? I’d like to actually see the process through which you communicate.”

The lights fell again and upon relighting she read her card and sighed. “Of course not.”

My own card now read, “Mate in 32, you’re slipping.”

I wasn’t going to take that. Neither of us had even moved yet. If he was gonna rub it in, ve were going to do this the changeling way.

“Twilight, can we play a different game?”

The lights flickered and I found my card unchanged.

Twilight read hers and huffed. “I can read the veiled sarcasm in that, Castle.” She looked at me. “What did you have in mind?”

I gave a smirk. “Chess is normally nymph’s play for changelings. I only agreed to begin with because I thought it would show you how well changelings handle probability. Problem is it Castle’s even better at it than me. I can tell when I’m outclassed at a game, so I suggest a real game.”

Twilight scrutinized me with narrowed eyes. “And by ‘a real game’ you mean?”

My fangs became just a bit more prominent as the smirk became a grin. “I suggest a game of Swindler’s Chess."

Right on cue I saw the head tilt. “Swindler’s Chess?”

I nodded. “Yes. Changelings need a bit more variety to their games than ponies. We’re simply able to optimize our strategies too easily. The Swindler’s Game is one of a number of rule set variations we’ve made to account for this. In a Swindler’s Game, each player is provided a list of five rules they may break and how they may break them. The players then use these cheats to ‘swindle’ their opponent of victory. Since we won’t know the exact rules until all the cheats have been used at least once, it’s a much fairer game for changelings – or upstart castles – to play.”

Twilight squirmed on her cushion. “That sounds a bit overcomplicated.”

I tasted a small bit of curdled milk in the air and realized I was still baring my fangs in a grin. I toned it down to a smirk and made a mental note to try and curb smiling widely around ponies.

Castle came to the rescue, however. Another flicker of the lights and we both read our cards.

“He is right, milady. Chess is foal’s play to me. I, for one, would relish an actual intellectual challenge, and his proposal has merit. I can’t predict the game if I don’t know all the rules. Think of it as a way to test my limitations.”

The princess relented. “Alright.”

“Excellent! Excellent!” I cackled and rubbed my hooves together gleefully in what may have been at least partially malicious glee. It had been a long time since I had been able to play a real game like this.

Most of my games with the lords were politely rigged for the sake of politics and saving face. There was no strategy or tension to them. This, on the other hand, would be a glorious struggle between Castle and myself to completely and utterly destroy each other.

There would be no quarter given in this game of kings.

It was at this point I noticed Spike had come in with dinner.

And that he and Twilight were staring at me.

And that I may have been accidentally been voicing my inner monologue on exactly how Castle would suffer a slow and agonizing defeat.

Curdled emotions ran rampant through the room as the two stood still and processed the scene.

I felt my face burning the most verdant shade of green. Ve couldn’t let embarrassment slip me up here though. I had just performed one of the oldest villain clichés in existence in front of the princess I was supposed to be on best behavior with.

I cast my gaze about in case escape was needed.

“I can explain that. Umm…” Words were not my strong suit at the moment.

I scrambled for some sort of cover story better than the truth.

But it wasn’t necessary.

The overwhelming taste of curdled milk was suddenly mixed with gobs of cotton candy and other sugary sweets as Twilight fell to the floor laughing. “Oh my gosh. That was just so Rainbow Dash.” She laughed harder as I blinked at her bemusedly.

Finally the laughter died down to a chuckle. “Don’t get me wrong. You were totally terrifying just now. You’ll need to work on that so you don’t petrify the townsponies. You could easily give Nightmare Moon a run for her money with that laugh. But it was all over winning a little game of chess. It just seemed so similar to Dash when she gets into a competition with AJ that I couldn’t help but ‘Giggle at the Ghosties’ as Pinkie would say.”

There was a clatter as the tray Spike had been holding dropped to the ground. A small cloud of dust denoted his parting. Twilight and I stared at the spot he’d been a second before. Twilight’s smile faded and my sigh of relief died before it even gathered in my lungs.

Twilight bolted to follow him.

Massaging my forehead I counted to ten and ran some very important estimations in my head. I could hear Spike fleeing down the corridor to the left at a fairly impressive speed. There was sobbing, crying, the whole nine yards. The question was whether or not I should intercept and help Twilight.

On the one hoof, helping would score points with my arbiter and judge.

On the other hoof, I had already said this was something they needed to work out on their own.

I sighed and let them go for now.

“There’s always the chance that he won’t completely ruin my chances of success this time.” I grumbled as I looked for something to distract me. Picking up the tray seemed like a good start. I could nitpick over every grain of food, take slow inaccurate sweeps with the broom, and drop it all again ‘accidentally’ just before I finished.

I managed this three agonizingly slow times over the next hour before the grumbling began again. “Yep, definitely coercing her against me. All my hard work lost because some dragon threw a tantrum.”

The light’s flickered and a card appeared before me. “If Twilight walks in on you right now, it’ll be all your hard work down the drain because you’re about to throw a tantrum – not Spike. Relax and take a deep breath. They’re about to hit the hug and make up stage.”

I snorted and kicked one of the cushions. “Does that mean I’m about to get evicted?”

A rapid series of flickering with a rapid number of responses followed. Eventually the lights settled and I could actually read one.

“You know, for the one who ranted on trust to Twilight yesterday, you are certainly lacking in it. You’re trying. I can tell. But you need the real deal if you’re actually gonna make friends here. Forget whatever life was like back at the hive. Life runs on different rules here.”

I opened my mouth to respond, but the flickering lights interrupted me.

“Don’t say anything. Just think on it. And for now let’s enjoy a round of this so-called Swindler’s Chess while we wait.”

The cushion I’d kicked out of place slid back into position, fluffing itself. Brooms floated in from down the hall to clean up the mess. And the chessboard was replaced with a much fancier jewel encrusted one.

I hesitated, but finally relented and sat down.

It was a glorious game.

“You cheated…” Somehow the text was sulking.

“Yes. That’d be the point of a Swindler’s Game if you hadn’t noticed.” I grinned in triumph. “You’ll get used to it, though. It took us forever to figure out how ve could best break the rules in a way that fit our play style. We have to cycle cheats around though. Otherwise it simply ends up being regular chess with extra rules.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Care for another?”

The flicker lasted slightly longer than normal. “No. You should be getting company in about 3… 2… 1…”

Twilight walked through the entryway. Her gait was just short of a shamble, and there were tear stains on her face. The occasional sniffle was loud – and congested – enough that I must have really been into the game not to hear her coming down the hall.

That wasn’t even considering I should be punch drunk on the amount of sorrow in the air.

“Hey…” She sniffled and I could see the effort she was putting forth not to cry again. “Spike’s going to be going to Canterlot for a week or two. Things were way worse than I thought.”

Her pout could melt carapace, and for the first time in a very long time I found myself truly sympathetic of another individual. I didn’t even need details.

“I-It’s me right? I-I can stay somewhere else.” That stupid double echo was back. I always hated that I stuttered when I got nervous.

There was a muted shake of her head. “It’s not just you. He’s apparently been having nightmares on and off since the Nightmare Moon incident. He’s terrified about being unable to help the girls and I when we need it most, and his encounter with Sombra apparently only solidified that. He seems to think that leaving him behind on most of our adventures meant I didn’t trust him enough to help. But I just can’t let him get—”

She choked on a particularly violent sob.

Her voice was wavering as she continued. “I’m sending him to my parents in Canterlot for a couple weeks so Princess Luna can start to give him counseling in his dreams. Hopefully by the time he gets back the rest of my friends will trust you enough that they won’t need to freak out about both you and him.”

I was at a loss on what to do. It had been a long time since I’d cared for another individual. I cared about the hive, but there was a big difference between a nation of changelings and any one individual changeling.

Looking through the friendship reports in the archives was taking too long, and Twilight was about to start crying again. WIth no solution to the problem presenting itself ve grumbled internally and shifted gears to damage control.

I patted the cushion Castle had conveniently slid next to me and offered a shoulder to cry on.

The friendship reports demanded it – no matter how awkward it seemed.

Twilight took a hesitant step forward and stopped.

I sighed. “Yeah. I figured that might be a bit much. We’re not exactly best friends yet, are we?” I tilted my head to the side. “Would it help if I looked like one of your actual friends?”

She almost looked appalled beneath the sniffles and watery eyes.. “It’s not the same, and you know it.”

I messaged my forehead. “Of course… Is there anything I can actually do to help? You’re the resident friendship expert here.”

“C-could you play a game of Swindler’s Chess with me?” She stuttered.

One could hear an audible crack as my head tilted to the side.

She gave a weak smile as I heard the pieces behind me being reset. “I actually got back somewhere in the middle of your game but didn’t want to interrupt. I really enjoyed watching you and Castle play. Celestia used to play all sorts of crazy games like that with Spike and I when we were in my lessons. She claimed it was to teach me to think outside the box. I’m not sure it worked, but they were always fun to play.”

“Sure.” I gave a small smile, remembering to hide the fangs this time. I motioned to the board. “Pick your color and pick your cheats, but I feel it’s only fair to warn you I don’t believe in ever going easy on others.”

That was my first real day in Ponyville – first as I think of it anyways. The following day Twilight took Spike to Canterlot. As for myself, let’s say Twilight’s schedule for introductions fell apart. I don’t have time to go into that this session, however. We’re already running late and ve have approximately half an hour at most until Celestia realizes ve sent another proxy to one of those dreadful dinner parties. I don’t know why she gets so upset when ve do that. It’s not like the nobles can tell the difference.

But I digress. I will see you at our next appointment.

The Elements of Surprise (Morpheus) Part 1

Changing Time’s Notes: After the attack on Canterlot exposed changelings as more than myth, there was nary a pony in Equestria who didn’t fear being replaced in the night. The idea that there was a creature that could take the form of whatever pony they desired was terrifying. We were so wrapped up over the identities they could steal and portray that we never questioned the identities of the changelings themselves. We never asked what individual differences there might be between changelings – simply labeling them all as enemies.

It’s ironic that we never really questioned if they might simply invent an identity of their own. There was always a pony that was replaced. There was always a victim. Even when we couldn’t find any victim we simply assumed the changelings had done away with them.

It was remarkably short-sighted of us in hindsight, and it shows how little we actually knew of their capabilities. Even now I understand only the basics of changeling shapeshifting, and I’ve probably met more changelings than anypony besides the princesses.

The Elements of Surprise: A Report by Morpheus of House Sycadia

The day I met the other Elements started out well enough. I only had three chores to do while Twilight was in Canterlot dropping off Spike.

Briefly look around town for any good pools of ambient emotion to eat.

Pick up some groceries.

Lock myself in Castle until Twilight returned later that evening to introduce me to her friends.

Of course, I couldn’t gallivant around Ponyville as a changeling yet. Twilight didn’t want that to happen until she was absolutely sure the town could handle it.

Thus I was in a carefully vetted disguise.

“Wait a minute.” Twilight’s emotions were flashing through ten or twenty conflicting tastes at the end of my proposal.

We were in her office. Ve had argued it was only logical to give the presentation there. It was official business after all. The contract didn’t allow disguises without approval.

Looking back at her from the sketch I had made detailing our disguise, ve saw her tilting her head to the side.

I nodded for her to continue, but on opening her mouth she promptly closed it – starting to chew her lip with a furrowed brow. Casting her gaze down, she shuffled through her notes and mumbled to herself. Looking back up at me, she tried again only to repeat the process.

When she failed for the third time, she put her head in her hooves and groaned. Ripping a blank piece of paper from her notes, she wrote her question down and handed it to me.

“Why are you going as a pegasus mare?”

Now it was my turn to tilt my head. “Is there something wrong with that choice? I figured you’d want that body type over a pegasus stallion.”

The princess’ flush at our response did not escape our notice. The rubbery texture to her emotions suggested embarrassment, but ve hadn’t done anything to merit that reaction as far as ve knew. Rather than press the matter, ve continued to gain more context.

“You wanted us to be able to run as fast as possible, right? Pegasus mare is the way to go then. A female pegasus is more aerodynamic. I can’t use unicorn teleportation, and I’m not strong enough as an earth pony to bust through crowds.”

Twilight chewed her lip some more. She did manage to speak this time, however.

“Isn’t that awkward for you? You are kind of…” The rest of her sentence was too quiet for me to hear.

“I am kind of…” I repeated, prompting her.

“You’re kind of a boy…” She was looking anywhere but at me as she said that.

And that’s when her reactions clicked. My hoof met my face. “Of course that would be weird for other species.” Ve groused. “I feel like such an idiot. Please tell me I didn’t stomp over every touchy subject known to pony kind.”

“Well… There was the line about me wanting you as a pegasus mare… Not that you meant anything by it, but a lot of ponies might misinterpret that...” Twilight’s voice was tiny.

I felt a headache coming on as ve connected the dots.

“Great. Just great,” ve grumbled. “Let’s just add mentally filtering every single hive forsaken sentence I want to make to the list of things I need to do here. The last thing I need ponies thinking is all changelings are nymphomaniacs. To be clear, you know that wasn’t a come on, right? I don’t even know if you’re into mares.”

“After I got more context, yes. But most mares would have slapped you and stormed off by then.” The slight bit of snark in the princess’ voice suggested she was starting to calm down.

“Then let’s go back to our other little misunderstanding.” Messaging my temples, ve carefully formulated how ve wanted to deal with this. “Okay, Twilight… Ve can understand why you might think my disguising myself as a mare would be awkward, but it really isn’t an issue for changelings. There are two reasons for that.”

I felt myself flush green. “The first is biological, but for both our sakes ve’re going to skip it. The last thing this conversation needs right now is the changeling version of the birds and the bees. You may think ponies have reason to find that talk awkward, but changelings have it so much worse. Suffice it to say it is common practice to hand nymphs coordinates and passwords to certain sections of the Archives specifically to avoid ever talking about it.”

Ve paused momentarily to compose ourselves. “The second reason is how easy it is for us to shapeshift. You need to realize changelings use shapeshifting for essentially everything. Sometimes it’s even an automatic response. The number of ways we have to change our body in miniature ways means we really don’t feel that attached to the original. Honestly, ve’d be surprised if you found a changeling that did. We toss on small changes like make up. Sometimes we don’t change them back.”

Ve chuckled. “And sometimes they’re not so small changes either. One of mother’s generals was so enamored with swordplay that he figured out how to morph his leg into a permanent blade. Think of it like a peg leg that periodically had its mass shifted around to keep it sharp.”

“You’re joking,” Twilight said.

“Nope.” I grinned. “He actually had an eye-patch too. For some reason he seemed to think the pirate jokes would get old. That doesn’t really happen when ve have as much material as ve do.”

The taste of cotton candy hinted at in the air was an improvement. There was still that conflicting mass of tastes that was confusion, but it had faded enough to let me pick up more mild emotions.

Unfortunately, rubbery cotton candy tasted awful, and Twilight was still slightly embarrassed.

At least she was managing to look me in the eye again.

I trotted to the desk. Picking up her notes, I tried to get the conversation back on its now thoroughly derailed track. “Now that that’s settled, do you have any other questions?”

She smiled sheepishly. “Umm… Yeah… Could you give me the whole spiel again? You started off with the pegasus mare thing, and I couldn’t even begin to focus on the rest of the speech while trying to wrap my head around it.”

Glancing at her notes confirmed this. They appeared to consist of a collection of ahhs, umms, and other unintelligible phrases.

Once again I found my hoof meeting my face. “The train leaves in about an hour and you want me to repeat the entire thing? There was at least ten minutes in there on research into coat colors. I’m not even sure it’s valid with how bogus the claims sound, but ve found paper after paper on the subject in the Archives.”

I couldn’t help but whimper. “I don’t want to give the whole thing again.”

Twilight looked at the clock and sighed. “Did your first speech really take that long?” She shook her head. “Alright, there’s not enough time now. I need to go make sure Spike and I packed everything. I’m going to give you permission and hope I don’t regret it, but I want the full explanation later. Got it?”

I nodded.

She smiled. “Good. Now I’m going to go pack and look up the proper permission phrase. Are you coming?”

“I suppose. Why not just ask us about how to phrase it? Ve know all the syntax by heart.” Ve tilted our head to the side feigning confusion.

The princess paused momentarily. A slight bitter taste filled the air answering the question I really wanted an answer to. It was smaller than when we met, but Twilight was the Princess of Friendship. She was probably the easiest pony on the planet to make friends with. It was, however, discernable progress I could give the other lords in my report.

Her answer was given cautiously. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’m already putting a lot of trust in you by giving you permission to leave Castle while I’m in Canterlot.”

I snorted, but didn’t comment. She was absolutely right, after all.

I had stayed with Twilight just long enough to get permission granted for my disguise before running off to the entrance to the library. Once there I donned my disguise and leapt skyward to perch on the enormous windows flanking the massive double doors to Castle.

It was time for some recon now that I could look out the windows without causing a panic.

Twilight’s new home seemed to be on the outskirts of town. The landmarks ve had a visual on told us the palace had claimed what used to be a field on the northwest side of town. Now it had the workings of a high end natural park.

Flowerbeds were organized in patterns of colors to draw the eye, and trees lined the paths to provide shade. There were at least two fountains and a collection of statues scattered about.

Off in the distance I could barely make out ponies going about their business in the town proper.

I leaned closer to get a better look.

“Sweet Celestia, that’s what you’re going as?!”

Startled by Twilight’s exclamation I accidentally tripped off my perch. The stabilization plates in my legs snapped into position automatically as several instinctual calculations told us a fall from this height could actually break my legs. Thankfully, I managed to get some air under my wings before hitting the ground. Instead of crashing, I merely skid twenty trots or so as I shifted most – but not all – of my downward momentum in a horizontal direction.

“Is there a problem with my disguise?” My voice was muffled by the floor. The proper thing to do would be to stand up, but the crystal was cool and surprisingly soothing to my aching pride.

“You might want a different color. You apparently can’t pull pink off like Chrysalis could. Even Celestia didn’t look that silly when she decided to give pink a try.” Twilight’s chuckles were accompanied by some reptilian snickers. Spike apparently found my current form much less threatening. There was an undercurrent of sour milk, but nothing like the night before.

I sighed as I picked myself up. My stabilization plates unlocked themselves, and I stretched my legs to make sure all the cavities were fully open again.

“Nice to know that research on coat color was actually bogus,” ve grumbled. “More obscure colors were supposed to be more welcoming. Razzmatazz was by far the most qualified color with its obscure name and bright candy-like coloration.”

Twilight tilted her head. “Wait… You seriously read Dr. Xanadu’s thesis on pony perception of peculiar pigments? That was debunked like two hundred years ago. All it took was a single paper proving the average pony simply doesn’t care enough about coat color to judge any difference between obscure and common colors. It’s a textbook classic for how you’re not supposed to do research.”

My cheeks flushed green and I realized I hadn’t shifted my blood color. A small shift corrected this while I continued grumbling. “Was there anything besides the one paper? Ve found hundreds of papers supporting that blasted theory.”

Twilight chuckled. “It was kind of already accepted as crazy talk. The paper was just making it official. How did you not find all the other stuff calling it bogus?”

Ve shook our head. “Depends on whether or not any changelings actually found out before us. In this case, I’m willing to bet the infiltrator was a novice. They probably collected the info and never bothered to double check things.”

Looking over my disguise, I didn’t really see anything wrong with the color. “I may as well stick with it to save time. Anything else before we go?”

“Yeah. If you do any-”

“Spike!” Twilight cut the dragon off. “We talked about this, and you agreed to try it my way! We need to give him a chance to prove himself, and you need a vacation from the general insanity that is daily life in Ponyville. You’re heading to Canterlot so both of those things can happen.”

Spike grumbled something I couldn’t hear.

“I know Spike, and I love you too, little guy.” Twilight nuzzled him and I tasted something other than fear and suspicion coming from the dragon for once. I savored the flavor of fresh baked honey buns and homemade cookies in the air. Ve believed a pony would describe it as just like mom used to make. I was careful not to consume it, but I could at least enjoy the sensation.

Twilight pulled back from the placated dragon. “And I promise if Morpheus leads an army of changelings on Ponyville you can swoop in and save the day. I’m sure Celestia would be livid enough to oblige. Hay, she might even let you ride her into battle.”

I sputtered – caught off guard by that – and an aching pain suddenly sprang up in my chest shooting down my foreleg. I had been enjoying the love in the air a little too much, and now I was choking on it.

The simple solution was to actually bite off the love, but I really didn’t want to ruin the moment.

Several moments passed as I stuttered incoherently. Pounding my chitin covered chest was pointless, but it helped me stubborn through the discomfort. Bit by bit I regurgitated the love back into the air.

And my heart slowly began to beat again.

The others were snickering at my expense. They probably assumed I was simply startled speechless, and I was glad to keep it that way.

Ve composed ourself and looked to Twilight. “Should ve actually be worried about that?”

One yes and one maybe did not ease my worries as we left Castle.

The Elements of Surprise (Morpheus) Part 2

The amount of stares we drew on entering town still creeps me out to this day.

More unnerving were the whispers. Twilight apparently hadn’t exactly thought through what mysteriously closing the library to leave a day later with a stranger would look like to the local gossip mill.

Thankfully, Twilight had her head buried in her agenda as we walked to the train station. She didn’t see the stares and definitely didn’t hear the rumors.

For my part, I just silently swore never to use this disguise again and added damage control to my list of chores.

“Don’t forget anything!” Twilight called from the window as the train pulled away.

I shook my head and chuckled. That made 473 reminders of today’s itinerary, give or take a couple I might have zoned out on. Any more and I would have them all bouncing around my head for the rest of my life.

I waited until the train was just out of earshot before perking up as if I’d remembered something. Running after it I called out. “Say hi to Auntie Velvet for me!” As I faked catching my breath at the end of the platform I listened to what the gossip mill had to say.

“She’s just family? That’s way less interesting.” The reporter that had been stalking us sulked.

“Aww... And here I was hoping Twilight had finally found somepony.” One of the local flower vendors gave a melancholic sigh.

“Does that mean I have to give you back the money?” That one irked me. I wondered if Rainbow Dash knew her weather pegasi made bets on the job.

There wasn’t much more I could do without letting on I’d heard, and that would just make me seem defensive. Thus – whistling a jaunty tune – I turned around and trotted out the station.

I was determined to enjoy my pseudo-freedom for the day. The analysts were busy reworking the master equation. The lords were busy parsing a report I’d sent in buried under three different kinds of encryption layers. Twilight was taking Spike to Canterlot. And nobody left in Ponyville had the faintest idea I was a changeling yet.

There was the princess’ little list of chores, but they gave me exactly what I wanted for the day – namely a nice quiet stroll through town.

I had spent barely any time outside since my chrysalling from nymph to lord. I missed simply wandering the wastes on my own, lost in our thoughts.

This was the perfect day to do that. The sky wasn’t that deep crisp blue I loved back home, but the sun was balmy instead of oppressive. There wasn’t the comfort of warm sand between my fetlock cavities, but there was a delightful breeze dancing through them instead.

Fresh cobblestones passed beneath my hooves as I began to tour the town. Ponies moved about their day, heading to work in the early morning. Earth ponies trundled forward at a sturdy trot, while pegasai zipped past on the winds. Unicorns strolled at a leisurely pace, and even a mule or two trotted along.

There was plenty of chatter buzzing about the air, and I received a constant stream of friendly greetings and compliments. I answered with simple nods and waves of acknowledgement, continuing to whistle as I headed down the street.

The whispered rumors seemed to have disappeared without the presence royalty to fuel them, but I figured it more likely they were now growing out of ear shot.

“She spent the night with who?!?” Sometimes out of earshot rumors came into earshot when shouted from across town.

Ve placed the voice as Twilight’s friend Rarity and sighed. I added a trip to Rarity’s to the list of chores. I didn’t want to, but it seemed ve would need to for proper damage control.

“What do you mean she was pink?!? What kind of pink? There are at least 5 shades of pink that wouldn’t flatter Twilight in the least!”

I mentally underlined the trip to Rarity’s twice.

There were simpler chores to handle, however. Ve opened our senses to the emotions in the air.

The air tasted of a mix of different feelings – too many feelings in fact. It was as if somepony had poured hot sauce, vinegar, carrots, peas, whole potatoes, cotton candy, chicken, and even the kitchen sink into a cauldron to be served flambe. There were just too many conflicting emotions drifting off of the houses to get anything useful. A front door opening here or there sent a brief waft of a more stable emotional cocktail, but ve doubted shopping for food in other ponies households would endear us to them – even if ve were only looking for ambient emotion.

Thatched roofs gave way to tents and stalls as ve entered the market place. Ve had barely glanced around when ve noticed a particular apple stall with a particular Apple family owner and her friends.

Applejack was too busy tending to customers to notice me, and Rainbow was napping on a singular cloud above the stand. I did not escape notice, however, as two soulless blue-eyes locked on to me the minute I whistled my way into the square. Ve had many names for the monstrosity before us in the Archives. Anomaly. Enigma. Reason’s Bane. All of these names – and more – were used to describe the abomination before me.

As she saw me recognition lit in her eyes, and I panicked.

I continued to whistle in a desperate attempt to remain nonchalant.

Her mouth opened to utter what could only be a baseless accusation of my disguise given through the clarity of her madness.

“Oh my gosh! The new ice cream mare’s here and she knows the jingle and everything!” The perky pink body turned to match the previous 180 of its owners head and began what ve can only label as pronking up the road towards me.

Ve suddenly realized just what a bad idea it was to have a rainbow snow cone for a cutie mark.

“I want a double chocolate dip and a painful pepper pop…” The unearthly chatter did not cease as the creature pronked onward at a pace no creature should pronk. Our pupils dilated. I didn’t run. Ve knew ve could not hide from Pinkie Pie.

“…And a banana-swizzle sandwich…”

The stabilization plates on my legs slid into place – sealing my fetlock cavities to prevent fractures. A quick calculation on our part had us shifting our carapace density to strengthen the armor at the estimated point of impact while softening the surrounding shell to mesh with the tactile illusions on the disguise spell.

“…And a peanut butter and pickle split…”

All this left a few milliseconds to have my life flash before my eyes as the pink mare tackled me to the ground.

We tumbled end over end for at least a good ten feet or so before stopping. I woozily looked up from the ground to see Pinkie Pie looming over me. Her face was mere inches from mine, and she was still prattling off a large and varied list of exotic ice cream flavors.

Ve attempted to put together a coherent response that might allow us to bring some form of order to the meeting but found ourselves too muddled from the impact. Thus I was thankful when Applejack arrived on the scene.

“Simmer down now, Sally.” The sturdy farmer pulled Pinkie back a few feet – a feat in and of itself given the amount of enthusiasm the Unsolvable Puzzle was showing – and tossed her a warm fritter as a momentary distraction.

I watched in morbid fascination as Pinkie tore into the fritter much like a bear would gut a fish. The joy radiating off of her was like a thick and murky fog of sweet and delicious cotton candy. If she left this much emotion everywhere, I could probably live off of visiting Sugar Cube Corner and her various parties alone.

I made a mental note to look into it further.

That much emotion also might explain why our infiltrator reports on her tended to lack coherence. I was already slightly giddy from all the ambient joy myself. Someling who wasn’t a lord might overload on that much free emotion.

Ve were snapped out of our observations as ve noticed Applejack holding out a hoof towards us. She had been saying something, but ve had been too focused on the Endless Riddle to notice.

I shook my head and hesitantly held out my hoof. “Sorry. Could you say that again? It seems my brain is taking its sweet time to catch up to the…“ Ve paused to run a quick calculation. “…fifteen point seven three meters we slid.”

Applejack cocked her eyebrow for a second before taking my hoof. “Sure, partner. Ah was just saying not to mind Pinkie there. She might be a little enthusiastic sometimes, but she means well.”

As I was pulled to my feet, I found my hoof in an iron grip. Applejack was shaking my hoof so hard I swore I could feel a couple cracks forming in the chitin.

“But where are my manners? Ah’m Applejack-“

“And I’m Pinkie Pie!” A pink blur pushed Applejack to the side, and I found one overzealous hoofshake had been be replaced by another. “I just know we’re going to have so much fun together, and I already have at least three ideas for your surprise welcome to Ponyville party. I’m sure you’d love them, but if I told them to you they wouldn’t be a surprise, and then you…”

I let the Anomaly’s speech wash over me without really listening. Tasting the air around her was one thing, but direct contact left me feeling dazed. I smiled and nodded without paying attention.

Before retracting my hoof, however, I carefully slid one of my fetlock cavities open. A few extra seconds of shaking hooves allowed me to mark her with a few stray strands of silk. In their unwoven state, they were thin enough to be undetectable to the naked eye. That didn’t stop me from tasting the synthesized emotion I’d spun into them.

A little warning would be nice after all.

“…and that’s how Equestria was made! Enough about me though. We don’t even know your name – mysterious ice cream mare.” The tirade finally ended and I stumbled back.

Two pairs of eyes looked at me expectantly.

I shook myself to clear the foggy thoughts I had from contact with Pinkie. Ve needed a straight head for this. Mother had been able to fool Applejack with the excuse of wedding day jitters, but ve had no idea if being the Element of Honesty came with built in lie detecting.

“You can call me Snow Flurry.” That was not technically a lie. It was the name I had chosen for this disguise.

“I’m not the new ice cream mare though. I’m okay at making ice cream, but I’m better with snow cones.” This was also not a lie. With the Hivemind I could draw on the memories of any changelings who knew how to make ice cream, but it would be passable at best. Cooking was just one of those skills that didn’t translate one hundred percent. Snow cones were just ice and syrup though. They were definitely easier to make than ice cream.

I ran some quick calculations in my head before continuing. “Would you like one?” A successful disguise always sells the cutie mark talent, and ve were pretty sure we could make one on the spot.

Pinkie latched onto the concept of free treats like a nymph onto free love crystals. “Would I? Of course I would!”

I had been ignoring most of my pegasus magic since signing the contract. I could generate the lift I needed and I could stand on clouds, but anything more might count as abusing the Contract.

There was an exception in the Contract for using magic related to any disguise’s talent, however. It was more meant for the harvesters I was planning to bring in, but there was no reason for me not to use it now,

Opening my fetlock cavities, I began pouring my magic into the air within them. Guiding the magic created a series of currents, and there was soon a small bit of swirling wind around my hooves. There wasn’t much moisture in the air, so I sent a number of small breezes out to collect it.

I shaved a bit from a fountain here and a pony’s drink there.

There was a particularly loud snort from Rainbow as I gathered a little moisture from her cloud, but ve barely noticed. There were already about a hundred other discussions going in and out our ears as all the snippets of wind ran past different groups of ponies. Normally ve would be filing all of them away to parse into intelligible conversations later, but ve were currently struggling to actually use the moisture ve gathered.

Ve had thought that ve could simply force the moisture to condense into a tiny cloud full of snow. Weather manipulation like that wasn’t normally an option for us, but there was so much ambient joy in the air from Pinkie that ve had thought ve could brute strength it.

That was a mistake. The tiny wisp of a cloud we’d made suddenly condensed into a mini-storm cloud.

“Hit the deck!” A raspy voice called out. A cyan bullet slammed in my side and for the third time that day I found myself eating dust as I slid along the ground.

I found myself rather thankful this time as I heard an explosive crack of lightning. There were a number of frightened whinies, and for a moment I was afraid the disguise had dropped. A quick glance at myself as I got up and pretended to brush myself off showed that this wasn’t the case.

There was a really nice scorch mark where I’d been standing though.

“What the hay was that?!?” It seemed I had woken Rainbow Dash and she was anything but pleased.

I decided to play the stupid card. “Lightning?”

It’s surprising how often that works.

Rainbow’s emotions were spicy enough to be labeled as rainbow flavored. “I’m talking about what you did to make the lightning. Normal wind doesn’t sound like a mob of ponies talking all at once.”

It’s also surprising when somepony ends up being far more perceptive than they should be.

I didn’t even try to hide our hanging jaw. “You heard that?”

I got a nod in response.

There was only one way for me to react to that. “Well buck…”

The Elements of Surprise (Morpheus) Part 3

There were two problems that led to the fiasco that followed.

The first is that most ponies think that pegasi are simply born with sharper senses to allow them to fly at higher speeds, but this actually isn’t the case. The truth is one of the most fundamental aspects of pegasi magic is the ability to commune with the air much like earth ponies commune with nature. The pegasi wind sense – or the warrior’s instinct as ancient pegasopilans called it – is the reason pegasi are able to have the reaction time necessary for activities such as high speed flight. The wind doesn’t simply whip through their mane. It whispers sweet nothings into their ears. A sense of freedom, excitement, mischief, and confidence are all things it encourages. It is kind enough to alert the common pegasus of incoming dangers most of the time – although the wind is a fickle thing, and it enjoys a good prank as much as any pegasus.

It is normally – for pegasai – an unconscious process because of the sheer quantity of information being recieved, so our surprise is understandable.

Ve had honestly not been prepared for the highly unlikely circumstances of a pegasus being able to perceive what ve had done there. In hindsight, however, Rainbow Dash was probably at the top of the list of ponies who might have been able to.

Second, the Elements have done a surprisingly good job covering up what they call the Night of Broken Baths, and they continue to guard its mysteries even to this day. All that ve have managed to uncover on the subject is that it involved a town wide water shortage, an oddly suggestive rubber ducky, and a blue ribbon winning cheese stick as thick and long as a redwood tree.

The result – which ve have repeatedly failed to recreate in our musings despite multiple attempts from a full team of analysts – was fifteen ponies entering new intimate relationships. Five couples, one herd of five, only one of which lasted longer than three months.

That last couple was the rather odd pairing of Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Ve had assumed them to merely be friends with benefits, but, as I would soon find, such was not the case. It would have been nice to know that going in, but, alas, ve did not have the luxury of doing so, and I payed the price for it.

Rainbow snorted. “Well? I’m waiting.”

The impatient tapping of Rainbow’s hooves pounded slowly in our ears like a death knell. Our thoughts spiderwebbed in hundreds of directions at once, surging forth far faster than was healthy. Ve could barely grasp any of the individual threads of possibility as ve frantically tried to predict what answer wouldn’t garner any more suspicion from the ball of hot and bitter emotions in front of us, but ve were pretty sure ve were already past the point of no return with this disguise being ruined.

But Rainbow loved adventure. Ve couldn’t tell ve were a changeling yet. Twilight had ordered us not to, and a tingle of magic ran through our spine as ve even thought about disobeying. Ve could tell more than simple half-truths, however.

Ve glanced around the stalls. Most ponies had returned to their business, although there were a few that would occasionally glance our way. Applejack had seen we were both safe and was checking on the Anomaly – who was living up to her codename and was buried in her statically charged mane. Each spark and shock seemed to make it twitch and grow.

I dipped into the shallowest reaches of my pegasi magic. I felt the tingle return. That was the warning that I was approaching the Contracts limits, but it was enough for a single breeze.

I made a simple current connecting the air directly in front of our faces to each other. It could barely cover the several trots between us, but it was enough.

Now it was time for the hook. “Don’t move, and I’ll tell you as much as I can.” Our mouth barely moved as ve whispered.

The wind carried our message right to Rainbow’s ear, and it returned with the beat of a heart racing on adrenaline.

As Rainbow tensed and opened her mouth I realized she was so into the flight or fight response that she hadn’t realized what I’d done.

Ve interrupted her before she could begin. “Don’t shout. Whisper. The more of a scene you make the more you risk disrupting Twilight’s plan. It’s bad enough I already blew my cover like this.”

That got her attention. Her eyes narrowed. She gritted her teeth – drawing several stares – but she did whisper. “Twilight? What’s she got to do with this? And what do you mean by cover? Are you a spy?”

Ve grinned as she took the bait. The burning ball of rage and suspicion began to dim, and I was able to lower my filter. I could taste a hint of the tangy citrus punch that was curiosity.

Before I could follow through, however, her overactive imagination took a turn for the worst. Bitter green flames burst from the ground as her emotions surged again.

It was too sudden for us, and ve couldn’t rebuild the filter as Rainbow’s emotions burned the back of our mind.

Ve knew the flames weren’t real, but emotions don’t care for logic or reason.

“Are you a changeling?”

The last word was hissed out, but it was still too low for any of the surrounding ponies to hear.

Rainbow had just jumped into the uncanny valley of truth and deception. Anything ve said was just as likely to confirm her worst nightmares as it was to make her feel like an idiot for jumping to conclusions.

Our thoughts crashed to a halt as they fixated on her question over and over.

Ve couldn’t process anything else.

Ve couldn’t find a solution.

Ve couldn’t get past the instincts screaming to bolt before our cover was fully blown.

Our vision went azure.

And I knew I needed to say something before the stress caused me to completely shut down.

“Is everything alright, partners?” Applejack had finally noticed how tense the confrontation was and was heading over.

Pinkie was stuck watching us from the confines of her out of control mane – trapped like a fly in a giant static-charged web. She seemed to be twitching every now and then.

I felt a drop of honey amidst the sea of fire and brimstone and acrid smoke that was Rainbow’s emotions. There was love in the air, but it had no context. I couldn’t find the source. I couldn’t label the kind. If I was thinking rationally I wouldn’t have touched it with a ten foot pole.

But my mind sprang at it like a feral dog.

Lapping at it soothed the burning. My vision cleared, and ve erected our strongest filter. No emotions were getting in, and no emotions were getting out.

As the flames flickered and died, ve almost collapsed, but ve kept standing through sheer force of will. There was no more panic to feed our adrenaline.

“I may be less of a pegasus than you are.” Ve went with the technical truth. Ve did, in fact, have several pegasai organs inside us right now.

“But I can assure you being a spy does not instantly make you a changeling.” Ve could barely whisper, and the breeze ve had made was gone, but ve felt our words being snatched by the hasty clutches of a wind that wasn’t our own.

That merited a concern all on its own, but ve were still beyond fear. Instead, ve turned and walked away. It was better for us not to say anything more. A façade of being too insulted to continue was the only option.

Ve almost turned back at the unintelligible shouts of an argument between Applejack and Rainbow Dash, but that would have ruined the façade. The fact that they weren’t following us was good.

The fact that the snippits I could hear suggested a lovers quarrel – in public no less – was rather worrisome for me.

But I wasn’t exactly me at the moment.

Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction (Twilight) Part 2

Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction (Twilight) Part 1

Changing Times’ Notes: I studied changelings for a long time while collecting these reports. It gave me something to do when I had to sometimes wait weeks between each meeting with the prince or princess. I traveled from city to city seeing how various changelings faired.

I have forged new friendships with both ponies and changelings on my journeys.

And I have lost friends and colleagues – new and old alike – because of my studies.

I have seen many of the biggest steps forward and back – if not the beginning I’m sharing with you via these reports. Someday I might feel confident enough to share my own journeys in a separate work, but for now I only wish to share one of the most important lessons I learned from them.

No matter how solid the bedrock of a friendship is, it is still subject to the winds of change. It can erode, crumble, and break into dust if you aren’t careful. However, continue to care for it with the proper sentiments – and sediments – and it will not fall to even the mightiest storm.

A wise – and somewhat crazy – pink party pony taught me that at one of the lowest points of my studies.

I still can’t believe she comes from a family of rock farmers.

Now I’m rereading this report as I sort them all together: And I wonder if this is where she or her friends learned that lesson.

It seems every group of friends – even the Elements – fights sometimes. True friends can weather any storm though, and the best of friends are always willing to pick up the pieces to try again.

Food for thought I suppose.

Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction: A Report by Twilight Sparkle

The trip to Canterlot was pleasant.

The actual visit there was much less so.

On the train over Spike and I simply relaxed. We played Eye Spy and talked about his latest comic books. In hindsight, we were both avoiding the issue at hand, but it was worth it to scrounge up those last few hours of normalcy.

Once we reached Caterlot, however, I soon found myself swimming in a sea of half-lies.

My parents – in their usual manner – had let the mail pile up again and missed my very important letter with the royal seal explaining things. Thus what they thought was a lovely surprise visit quickly turned into a very depressing one.

To make matters worse Shining and Cadance were on a surprise visit themselves. They were not exactly at the top of my list of ponies I wanted to explain things to. I honestly couldn’t be sure how they would react to the news of Morpheus if they found out before the official reveal.

Thus the half-truths piled up as I tried to explain – without actually explaining – exactly what duties I had that were so important as to leave Spike when he needed me the most.

Spike’s quip about a sparkling vampony coltfriend did not help in the least.

I could appreciate Rainbows almost unhealthy obsession with staying airborne as I flew home. The wind running through my mane and fur took the tension out of my body as well as any massage would. There was just me and the beautiful night sky.

The beautiful night sky that suddenly told me I should have been home hours ago to introduce Morpheus to the girls.

I yelped as my flight path staggered slightly. As much as my body wanted to ruffle its feathers in agitation, that wasn’t exactly conducive to good flying.

“Tardy.” I grumbled to myself. “Nothing good ever comes from being tardy.”

The castle was approaching on the horizon. Flying really was much faster. It might have been more efficient to take Spike by air, but I had wanted the luxury of the train. Now I wanted the luxury of a bath I didn’t have time for.

I landed on the balcony to my room. Lighting my horn up I cast a favorite spell of Raritys to freshen myself up. I wasn’t actually clean, but I at least looked presentable. After a sniff of my foreleg, I also added a bit of prestidigitation to disguise the scent of my sweat with a low level illusion.

Now I was the only one who needed to deal with my dire need for a bath.

Opening the door I found myself in one of the hallways and not my room. A plain white sign hung on the wall in front of me with an arrow pointing right. I blinked in befuddlement only for writing to replace the arrow.

“I must beg your pardon, milady, but your presence is urgently needed at the study. There was apparently an issue today, and your friends are arguing over what to do with Morpheus while he works off whatever Pinkie drugged him with. –Friendship Castle”

I stared blankly ahead for a bit before shaking my head morosely. “Of course… Something always goes wrong when I’m tardy. Would you mind making some snacks for us, Castle? It’s harder for anypony to put their hoof in their mouth when food is already there.”

A flicker of light changed the writing. “Experience from Celestia’s Princess Lessons, milady? –Friendship Castle”

I chuckled as I turned to head for my study. “No, this is from Pinkie Pie’s Hoof in the Mouth special.”

The lights flickered again, but I didn’t need to look back. “Don’t ask! It’s just Pinkie being Pinkie!”

As I approached the study, I could hear my friends through the door. It was just ajar enough for their voices to reach me, but not quite enough to announce my presence, and I wondered if that was Castle’s work.

“Why can’t we just wake it up ourselves? I’m sure if it won’t tell us the truth we can-“

I opened the door to see Pinkie shove a cupcake in Rainbow Dash’s mouth. Behind them was Morpheus in his disguise on the desk.

“Hoof in the Mouth special for Dashie!” Pinkie removed her hoof at licked the extra frosting off. “There’s a little too much lemon for my taste, but they’re still pretty good!”

Rainbow chewed laboriously for a few seconds and swallowed. Gasping for a few seconds, she glared at Pinkie. “What the hay?!? Why’d you do that, Pinkie? Where’d you even get that cupcake?”

Pinkie’s muzzle scrunched as she contemplated her hoof. “Huh… That’s a good point, Dashie. Where did it come from? That wasn’t one of the ones I put in my stash.”

Rainbow tried to retort, but there’s an issue with asking Pinkie more than one question at once in that every question asked has an indeterminate amount of nonsense to go with it.

Dash had asked three, and I knew – from very painful experience – there wasn’t a linear relationship in the answer to nonsense ratio.

Thus Pinkie continued and pointed at the door. “Anyways! I got a combo while you were talking, silly! Ear flop, eye flutter, and knee twitch means look out for opening doors, and the only pony who’d be opening the door – besides cat burglers who don’t count since they’re all cats – would be Twilight, and I really don’t think Twilight was going to like your suggestions on interrogation methods – even if they are from Daring Do books.”

There was a large intake of air, and I swear I felt a breeze as Pinkie’s lungs refilled. “Well… She might like the waterboarding one, but that’s only because I don’t know what that is, and it sounds like surfing which is really really fun.” She waved at me, blissfully ignoring my twitching eye. “Hey, Twilight! Can we waterboard with the changeling?”

A cupcake enveloped in a blue aura stuffed itself in Pinkie’s mouth. “One Hoof in the Mouth special for Pinkie.”

I turned to find Rarity and the others off to the side.

Fluttershy was curled in a ball in the corner. Her eyes darted back and forth between Pinkie and Rainbow. My brow furrowed when I noticed the barest of trembles shaking her frame. It had been a while since she’d done that.

Rarity was seated next to her – looking up from her sketchbook. Her normally pristine appearance was replaced with what she called ‘frazzle dazzle’. A smattering of drawing tools floated around her as she drew whatever next big fashion hit was on her mind.

I almost chuckled at that. Leave it to Rarity to see the fashion potential of changelings – even when she was probably rushed over here with Celestia knows what rumors flying through her head

Curiously, Applejack was separate from the others. She was just standing in the back corner with her head lowered.

I sighed. “Great… I take it you all know?”

Everypony nodded. Applejacks was more subdued.

I rubbed my temples as I felt the migraine from my parents returning. “Well, I know what comes next. Rarity, would you do the honor?”

Rarity started looking around the room at anywhere but me. “Oh, we don’t need to do that, darling. I’m sure we would have noticed if you’d been replaced.”

Applejack flinching in the back was all I needed to confirm the falsehood.

I stared at them all for what felt like an eternity. I let the awkward silence grow as they waited for me to insist on following the rules like I always did. Running the changeling drill was a lot different than living it though.

Because they didn’t know.

They didn’t know me well enough – or at least they didn’t think they knew me well enough – to tell when I might have been replaced. I’d asked for the changeling confirmation spell because it was protocol, and there was clearly enough misunderstood evidence here to suspect I’d been replaced.

They were supposed to cheerily oblige me, and then we’d hug and make up at the negative result, and they would say they knew I was myself all along.

But they didn’t know.

I noticed Morpheus’ limp form open an eye, and his head turned just barely to focus the widening pupil on me. As soon as he saw me watching, he went limp again.

At least somepony knew what I was feeling. His reaction wasn’t exactly encouraging though. There were emotions I couldn’t fully describe churning like a stormy sea inside me, but I kept them inside.

For now, I was going to wear the mask I’d been working on with Celestia – the mask I’d never thought I’d need with my friends.

I relaxed my posture a little more than I normally did, and my mouth curled in a small smile that never left even if it never exactly grew. I repressed a shudder at how wrong it was to be using this on my friends before finally ending the silence.

“Come on, guys. You know it doesn’t work like that.” Pinkie was looking at me oddly, but the others took it in stride.

A flash of blue accompanied a tingling sensation over my flank and head.

A sigh of relief escaped Rarity. “She’s clean! No changelings or mind control.”

As one the girls ran to my side for a group hug and began pelting me with question after question. They didn’t even give me time to answer, and while I would normally ask them to slow down they took my silence as a cue to just keep the hug going. I felt myself sink downwards as I struggled to keep the mask up amid a sea of questions.

“Hive damn it all! I can’t watch this anymore. Give her some air! Do you have any idea what she’s feeling right now?!?”

The others froze, and I broke away with the mask barely intact.

Morpheus was standing and glaring at the others. His fangs were bared, and his wings buzzed. His voice was under that fractured echo effect again, and it seemed like the air was swarming with angry hornets.

This was bad. It may have actually been the worst possible option. I didn’t know what had made him so furious so suddenly, but it wasn’t doing anything to make a good impression. I could already see Dash tensing for an attack.

He pointed at everypony one by one, and we all froze almost instinctually as his attention centered on us. “Those faces are masks – something I’m quite familiar with as a changeling. They’re lies, deceptions, and façades to cover up how you all really feel.”

The changeling stomped and I thought I heard stone crack. “Masks are for changelings though. Ponies are supposed to wear their emotions on their sleaves, not hide them. By the Azure Veil, it’s not like you can taste them like me. How are you supposed to be friends if you don’t share your emotions?”

Somewhere in the shellshocked depths of my brain it suddenly occurred to me that Morpheus had read our friendship reports. He’d as much as said my friendship with the girls is what led him here

The prince pointed to Rarity and Fluttershy, and the buzzing almost felt like it was pressing down on us all. “You two were supposed to have learned that. I just don’t understand how you can all claim to be friends when I can literally taste all these negative emotions being tossed between you all!”

It seemed words failed him at that point. He tried to continue his tirade several times, but ended up simply storming out into the hall.

It might have been just me, but I could have sworn I saw some tears on the carapace as he left.

Slowly, I levitated a cupcake to each of us. “Hoof in the Mouth special for all of us.”

Applejack tentatively broke the silence after the cupcakes were finished. “Were we just lectured by a changeling? Because I know he wasn’t lying for any of that”

I slowly nodded. “That is Morpheus. You could call him our changeling ambassador, and I think we all owe him an apology.”

Rainbow Dash blew a raspberry. “Why the hay would we do that?”

I gazed at the door chewing over my answer. I eventually decided to just make it quick and blunt. “Well, I suppose the best reason for such an apology is he’s not only risking his life but his entire species by trying to negotiate peace with us, and his whole dream of peace only sprang up from reading our friendship reports to begin with.”

Rarity tilted her head. “Oh my, I guess we’re going to need you to explain that.”

Fluttershy gave a squeak of agreement. That was somewhat of an accomplishment given her current state of shellshock.

I shook my head. “Yeah, I was so focused on Spike’s issues – which I’ll totally tell you about tomorrow – and Morpheus’ first impression. I never even considered the importance of our own…”

I sat mulling over how to explain the last couple of days, and the girls just sat with me in companionable silence.

“Got it!” Pinkie and silence were never really pals though. “Since Twilight clearly needs time to think it over, we should totally have her think it over at a slumber party! We can stay up all night until we get her to talk!”

“Interrogation by pillow fight?” Dash cocked an eyebrow and grinned.

“Totally!” Pinkie’s smile threatened to split her face.

I couldn’t help but laugh and pull everypony into a real group hug. “ Okay, but I’m gonna need to get to sleep at some point. I promised Spike I’d meet him. And yes I know that sounds odd. There’s just so much to explain. Castle! Prepare the royal bedroom for a slumber party!”

The girls stared at me. “Castle?”

The complete unison of their befuddlement caused me to giggle again. “I forgot I need to explain that too... I can’t believe it’s only been two days! It’s certainly going to be one hay of a month.”

Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction (Twilight) Part 3

Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction (Twilight) Part 2

My explanation ended somewhere around three in the morning, and as the girls mulled over my tale I got around to my other obligation that night.

I had only convinced Spike that he needed a break from Ponyville on the condition I would visit every day. I think he thought I wouldn’t be able to do it, but Luna actually provided a rather elegant solution when we were quickly sending letters back and forth to set up Spike’s therapy as fast as possible. I could work with Morpheus during the day, and study the art of oneiromancy to visit Spike at night.

Spike called that cheating until I told him plan B, although I’m not exactly sure why he was so against that particular plan.

I was perfectly willing to teleport back and forth if need be – regardless of consequences.

I ran the numbers, and the magic fatigue would probably disappear after a week or so as my magic reserves skyrocketed from so much use. It was just like exercise, even if there was a miniscule chance I’d pull a magic ‘muscle’.

Of course, pulling a magic ‘muscle’ is like playing Stalliongrad Roulette with Discord when that much magic is involved, so maybe he had a right to be worried.

Regardless, my visit with Spike was enlightening to say the least. There’s a reason so few ponies besides Luna master dream magic. It’s a very fickle magic. One could almost call it chaotic, and I work best with structured spells, so I honestly should have expected some difficulty even with my talent in magic.

I could only hold the spell for a few minutes – even with the couple of oneiromancy focuses Luna gave me. I was barely there, and couldn’t talk or hear. I wasn’t even able to bring anything into focus besides Luna and Spike.

But at least we managed to get a good long hug in.

I felt Spike’s claws tighten on me as I began to fade back to the waking world, and I managed to get one last nuzzle in before winking out of existence.

I opened my eyes to find Spike’s dream had shifted outside of the sextant’s view.

In its place was an entirely undesirable view of Cadance’s dreams about my brother, and I almost viciously cut my magic off from the device.

Setting the device in its well-crafted box, I stretched and got up from the pillow I’d been resting on. The party was in full swing again.

Castle had been generous in his preparations, and I was starting to wonder exactly how much he could rearrange himself.

It was rather disconcerting to find out he could do more than shift furniture around. We had entered my room to find it at least twice as large as normal. Such a change in width should have warped the outside architecture, but when I flew out the balcony – which hadn’t moved from where I had entered the castle – there wasn’t a flaw to be found.

In other words the inside of the castle seemed to be completely independent of the outside, and I had no idea of why that was or how that could be.

My bed and other furniture were missing. Instead there were three massive bean bag chairs – or more accurately bean bag beds – in front of the fireplace. Above those were three cloud beds that Dash had refused to believe were made by anything other than a master pegasus craftspony.

Each one of them – even the clouds – was in a color corresponding to one of us, and they all smelled like some of our favorite things.

Pinkie had spent a good five minutes chewing hers like it was bubblegum in an attempt to find out if it actually was.

Tables lined the room filled with various sweets from around Ponyville. A small note from Castle claimed that cooking the snacks was starting to take too long, so he’d unfortunately had to liberate them from Pinkie’s stashes throughout the castle.

A large pile of bits from the treasury I didn’t even know we had sat nearby as payment.

And feathers were everywhere.

Most of the pillows we had started with were nowhere to be seen – their deaths the tragic cost of our full on pillow war.

I made my way past the dancing Pinkie and Fluttershy to the snack table.

“So are you done with Luna’s sex toy yet?” Rainbow swooped over and looped back around to finish her approach with Applejacks more sedate one.

“It’s a sextant not a sex toy.” My facehoof lacked the force to blind me to lingering visions of Cadance’s dream. “And it’s used to locate and attune two dreams together by-“

“You can keep going, but that’s not what your face says, egghead!” Rainbow waggled her eyebrows as my blush deepened.

Applejack shoved Rainbow lightly. “Stop teasin’ the girl, sugarcube. We’re not here for that.”

Rainbow shrugged. “What? All I’m saying is if I had a magical trinket to look into other ponies’ dreams I’d-“

“You’d what?” The keystone of any good Applejack eyebrow arch is the especially deadpan stare.

“I’d- I’d-“ Rainbow promptly shoved her head into her wing to preen.

“That’s what Ah thought.” Applejack nodded before turning to me. “Twilight, Ah know we asked you before, but you’re sure nothin’s wrong with us? Pinkie told us Morpheus mentioned needing to fix something.”

I shook my head as I finally composed myself enough to levitate up a plate. “I told you I couldn’t sense anything wrong with any of the spells I tried. And if he had harmed you in any real way… Well, you wouldn’t want to know even if I could tell you.”

I took a large swig of punch to wash away my thoughts on that. “My guess is he fixed whatever it was while you were all arguing over him, although I can’t be sure when he actually woke up.

I gestured to the door. “You’re free to ask him yourself. He probably won’t like being woken up again, but if he didn’t fix whatever he did we need to know what it was and how to fix it ourselves.”

Dash looked up at that. I could hear the cogs turning as she looked from me to the door to Pinkie. “Come on, Pinkie! We have a changeling to prank awake!”

Pinkie was at the door faster than Dash. “Whee! This’ll be fun. Just let me get my surfboard!”

The Pinkie-shaped cloud of dust she left behind continued to dance with Fluttershy. “Umm… I know you’re supposed to be Pinkie, Mister Cloud, but could you not step on my hooves as much… If you don’t mind that is…”

I looked to Applejack. “Should I be worried that pranking might mean hostile interrogation?”

Applejack chuckled. “Nah. There’s nothing to worry about if Dash has got Pinkie with her.”

“Pinkie took the surfboard like she was expecting waterboarding.” I deadpanned.

The chuckling stopped as Applejack hummed in thought. “Nah. There’s still nothing to worry about.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Really? I thought you and Dash would be a lot more…”

“Stubborn?” Applejacks chuckle was back. “Oh we’re mighty stubborn about not trusting this feller alright, but Fluttershy and Pinkie want to give him a chance, and Rarity isn’t sure. That makes it three to two counting you, and it’s not worth losing friends over. We figure petty vengeance is best until we all know where he really stands.”

Several reactions went through my head at that, but I finally settled on smiling. “Thank you for being honest, Applejack – even if that was kind of disconcerting. How much of Dash’s mischievous side is rubbing off on you?” The smile tried to turn into a frown, but I kept it going.

Applejack shrugged but didn’t answer the question. “Honesty’s what Ah do, sugarcube. Besides, he seems truthful to me so far. And that means he’s either such a good liar it’ll all build up until everything falls down, or he’ll accidentally reveal any secrets he’s hiding just by staying that way.” Picking up an apple fritter she went off to talk to Fluttershy.

Seeing Rarity trying to get my attention, I headed over to join her. She was currently relaxing on her bed by the fireplace, so I flew up and lowered my cloud to do likewise.

I smiled as she finished putting her sketchbook away. “I see you’re back to your normally fashionable self. When did you even find time to sneak away and freshen up?”

Rarity tittered. “Oh, I just did the same thing you did. You might want to refresh your own spells though. It’s not like we have time for a decent bath any time soon with how Pinkie runs her slumber parties.”

I sniffed my foreleg and blanched. “Great. I guess I need to work on stabilizing the long term version. It seems I’m now exponentially worse than before.”

Rarity giggled. “No problem at all, darling. Most of the others wouldn’t even bother, and it’s the thought that counts.”

I grinned as I refreshed the spells. “Well, that’s a relief. What did you want to talk about?”

Rarity sighed. “I was just thinking about earlier… Morpheus claimed we were all masking our emotions, and I should know just how unhealthy that is after the Photo Finish incident. I was just wondering…”

She trailed off, and it took me a second to realize she was waiting for me to continue for her.

I sighed. “You were wondering if I was actually alright now or just wearing another mask?”

She nodded.

I shook my head as my insides churned slightly. “I’m fine now… I think… It just really hurt when I realized you didn’t know when I might have been replaced. You girls are my best friends. You all know me better than anypony else, but you didn’t trust all the things I actually did with you before Morpheus showed up. You were all worried I might have been replaced for weeks without you knowing.”

Rarity tilted her head. “But why wouldn’t we be worried about that? You’re our friend, Twilight, and the idea that we didn’t notice you being swapped with a changeling was absolutely dreadful.”

I opened my mouth, but couldn’t think of any comeback.

Rarity lifted a hoof to shut my mouth for me. “Don’t do that, darling. That’s entirely unbecoming of a princess.”

Drawing the hoof back she continued. “Besides, we couldn’t tell that Princess Cadance was a changeling either. We may not have met her before, but we should have trusted you when you said something was wrong.”

She frowned. “So given our past experience with changelings, did we have any right not to worry that you had been replaced without us knowing?”

I found myself off my cloud and briefly hugging Rarity. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”

As I pulled back, I tilted my head. “But that makes it sound like all of you still feel guilty about the wedding. I thought we’d all settled that was in the past.”

Rarity gave a polite not-cough. “Yes… Well, about that…”

My head reared back in surprise for a moment before I found myself hugging Rarity again. “You girls don’t need to worry about that. You didn’t know Cadance then, and you were all busy with the wedding.”

There was another not-cough from my friend. “Darling, as much of a relief as it is to hear that, do you mind letting go? We wouldn’t want your new coltfriend assuming anything.”

Alarm bells sounded in my head as I pulled back. “What?”

“Nothing!” Rarity chimed far too quickly.

I grabbed her bags as she tried to stealthily levitate them out of sight. Lifting her sketch book out, I opened to the most recent drawing.

I groaned at the image of me in a rather elaborate wedding dress. “Rarity…”

She swooned. “But Twilight, it’s like right out of one of my books, and a political marriage would solve everything!”

I messaged my temples. “Rarity, please don’t try and turn my life into one of your trashy romance novels. Morpheus and I haven’t even known each other for three whole days yet. And not even the nobles do arranged marriages anymore! They just happen to prefer their snobby, stuck up selves.”

The doe eyes signaled a retort, so I cut them off. “No. You are absolutely not allowed to play matchmaker for me and Morpheus.”

My deadpan stare met her fluttering eyes for a couple seconds before she gave a refined huff. “Fine, but you have to let me borrow Morpheus at some point. He’s- You’re sure he’s a he, right? Given his whole disguise?”

I nodded, although she was already continuing as if confirmation didn’t even matter. “He’s probably a living matchmaker since he literally feeds off of love. I mean, we have farmers to grow food. Why wouldn’t they have matchmakers to grow love? And the fashions I could try with a shapeshifter are simply limitless…”

I gave a content little sigh and smiled. Ruffling my wings I settled back on my cloud and simply listened to Rarity rambling ‘in the zone’.

I had tuned Rarity out at some point. There is only so much fashion I can take at once, after all. And – while I knew some of the jargon she was spouting – it seemed changelings required terms beyond my general knowledge. Instead, I was idly measuring my reactions to her speech – and comparing them to how ponies reacted to my own lectures – when I caught the voice of Rainbow returning.

“Come on! It was just a joke. Learn to lighten up.” Her voice was even raspier than usual.

The slight echo of Morpheus’ voice retorted. “Turning all the sinks on so you could send me ‘sleep-surfing’ down who knows how many flights of stairs is not a prank. You’re lucky the basement had a pool to break the fall.”

The basement had been a lab last time I checked, so I had another reason to talk to Castle tomorrow. He might have just swapped two rooms around – hopefully – but I had never seen a swimming pool in the castle before.

“I would have caught you! I’m the fastest pegasus in Equestria.” I could all but see Dash’s chest puffing out.

The echo became a buzz. “And ve told you that doesn’t matter on a spiral staircase. The chance of you catching up was miniscule at best considering how much momentum you would have lost on all the turns.”

I got up as they burst into the room.

“Don’t lecture me on flying, you little fly! I know what I’m doing. I could have handled it!” Rainbow – tactful as ever – was both hovering next to the prince’s head and shouting.

Pinkie pronked on with a smile even I could tell was forced.

One quick teleport and I was glaring at Dash and Morpheus. “Alright. I’m not even going to ask, but I expect you both to behave.”

I pointed at Dash. “You apologize and go talk to your marefriend about exactly what counts as petty.”

She grumbled and swooped off – kicking up a bit more wind than was necessary.

I pointed at Morpheus. “You tell me what’s going on between you three, and how to fix it.”

Morpheus actually shrunk inward a bit. “It was a complete accident I swear, but Rainbow was suspicious of me, and ve were trying to talk our way out of it.”

His speech was starting to pick up speed, and the fracturing echo returned. “Something ve said flared her emotions even more, and I couldn’t get the filter up properly in time.”

He had told me he sometimes stuttered yesterday, but it was still unnerving to hear. I could barely tell the difference between how he was currently talking and the angry buzzing fracture from earlier. If he wasn’t curling in on himself, I might have thought he was getting overly defensive.

The tears also helped to clarify.

He lowered his head, avoiding my gaze. “I know ve kind of explained what that sometimes means, but I’ve never even experienced it at that level personally. And now I never want to again, because it’s absolutely terrifying. All ve can really remember is angry, bitter flames trying to consume us, and the pain felt so real even if we logically knew they didn’t exist.”

He was shivering at this point. The girls and I were staring. I should have told him to stop, but my mind had hit a roadblock.

Thus he continued. “And so I took a bit of Applejacks love without thinking. Ve needed it to set up a strong enough filter, but the only filter strong enough left us little better off. Do you know what it’s like to be unable to feel anything? There was no emotion coming in or out, and it was hard to process how terrifying that was at the time because ve literally could not feel anything unless ve lowered the filter. And it took us hours to manage that, so-“

And that was when he was cut off as a small normally timid yellow missile latched onto him. “Oh you poor thing… You can stop now. It’s alright. We won’t be mad if you stop remembering what you don’t want to remember.”

There was a deep shuddering breath from the prince. It almost sounded like a series of rickety shutters opening and closing. He stood up. Calmly pried Fluttershy off him, and began to walk towards the snack table.

The echo was flatter, and his gaze was slightly more glassy-eyed. “Pardon us for that. Ve shouldn’t let our emotions get the better of us like that. Appearing too vulnerable would only bias negotiations. It would either give us your pity – giving us an emotional advantage over you – or it would inspire contempt for my weakness – giving you an emotional advantage over me.”

It took me a second to register he was moving, and I had to canter after him. “Morpheus, wait!”

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed my friends huddling up to converse in whispers.

The prince was mixing some sort of drink when I caught up.

His voice was quiet as I approached. “You know, ve find it odd your friends would even begin to think of forgiving us after our transgression today. But there they are arguing over what it will take to forgive us rather than giving out the proper punishment.”

I looked over the golden cocktail he was making. It was definitely magical in nature. “First, eavesdropping is rude. Second, just what is the proper punishment?”

His chuckle was hollow. “It’s not eavesdropping when changeling hearing is just that sharp. If ve were using the wind sense, then that would be eavesdropping.”

I was going to inquire further, but he answered my second question. “As to what the proper punishment is… It’s rather old fashioned, but many Lords would call for death. Ripping the love from somepony without proper treatment can have serious repercussions, and even changelings have standards. We need love to feed. Killing love like that only deserves death in kind.”

I caught the cup he was raising to drink from in my aura. “That does not sound like somepony who’s in their right mind.”

He snorted. “Yes, clearly the most revolutionary changeling lord in possibly centuries is going to go the traditional route of drinking poison in his dishonor.”

He nudged me, and I thought I caught a ghost of a smile. “Ve are not that stupid. Ve are, however, under a rather taxing filter. So give us our Liquid Courage before the filter breaks and ve break down crying again. Ve need more than that sobbing mess or this cynical, near emotionless, state of mind to help Applejack.”

I looked at the potion then back to him. “This is not alcohol.”

He stared blankly at me. “Of course it’s not alcohol. What use would alcohol be? That is Liquid Courage. Ve’ll feel like Tartarus in the morning for using hivemade remedies, but it should get rid of the lingering fear from our- Wait a minute. Ve forgot you aren’t emotivores.”

He tilted his head in thought before nodding. “The closest thing you have is a digestive system, so let’s use that. This Liquid Courage is basically a laxative for the heart. It’ll purge the backwash of fear built up in our arteries with synthesized bravery. Cutting off our emotions that suddenly earlier forced all the emotions we should have felt to build up.”

He arched an eyebrow knowingly. “You’ve already seen the results. It’s taking most of our self-control to make this, and it doesn’t help that ve’re hung up – or hungover as you ponies would say – on Pinkie’s joy.”

“Ah.” That summed up the awkwardness nicely.

He nodded. “Yes, the sheer strength of pony emotion is quite a double-edged sword for changelings.”

I released the cup, and he drank deeply.

Setting the cup down, he licked his lips. “Wow… Those side effects are hitting faster than the Archive claimed. I suddenly have the strangest urge to slay a dragon for glory and canter off into the sunset. It’s a good thing Spike isn’t here.”

He sighed and rubbed his temples. “Alright, let’s get this done before I crash. With my crisis out of the way ve can focus on Appleja-“

He froze as his gaze wandered over Applejack. “How didn’t ve notice that before?”

My gaze turned steely. “How didn’t you notice what?”

He swallowed. “Applejack’s fixed somehow – which is good – but ve didn’t heal her. And, if ve didn’t heal her, that begs the question of who did. There aren’t many species capable of seeing the damage let alone fixing it.

“I hate to say this, Twilight, but there might be unauthorized changelings in Ponyville.”

Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction (Twilight) Part 4

Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction (Twilight) Part 3

Hearing that was the beginning of one of the many times the age old lesson that a pony shouldn’t judge a book by its cover would be tested for me as I came to know Morpheus.

It was slowly dawning on me that the pony and changeling concept of truth – especially what constitutes the truth – were very different. Ponies prefer a nice black and white for the truth that fits what they know. Changelings on the other hand use the entire color spectrum when thinking about the truth.

The Hivemind provides a veritable library in their heads, and they have a cover for every book – a mask for every occasion. They pick and choose the one they need, and the nuances of when and where I can expect them to have a particular mask or cover is hidden in a giant web of logic that’s entirely too convoluted for their own good.

Working with Morpheus would lead to me almost habitually questioning three things when dealing with changelings.

What is the mask they’re currently wearing?

How much of the mask is real?

Why would they pick that mask over another?

This, of course, makes it sound like changelings are always lying about themselves, but there’s often huge a difference between the masks ponies wear and the masks changelings wear. Ponies tend to think of a ‘mask’ as nothing but a means to conceal or hide, so that’s what it is for us when we wear one.

It is always nothing but a lie.

Changelings have been forced to live and breathe through masks for thousands of years though. An act they put on often blends into who they truly are, and who they truly are blends back into the act. It’s a constant two way street and an integral part of their society I doubt will change anytime soon because of their Hivemind.

Their language even has an entire grammatical construct devoted to describing the relative truth of words – with mask being one of the most variable – and Equish is woefully unsuitable at translating the context it provides. There are at least five basic intonations a changeling can use saying mask, and that’s not including all the subvariations those intonations have themselves. The shortest approximation I’ve been given for them is ‘full lie’, ‘partial truth to hide the lie’, ‘partial lie to hide the truth’, ‘positive double bluff’, and ‘negative double bluff’.

If that sounds overly complicated, it is. I have yet to meet a pony who can speak Chitri fluently, and I sometimes think the only reason changelings can is because they can just cheat and use the Hivemind.

I digress, however. As fascinating and frustrating as I find the changeling language, a lecture on it cannot truly give understanding to just how differently we see the idea of truth. It is something best learned through experience, and it was the following day where I began to understand the difference.

It was with utmost care I managed not to jump to the worst possible conclusions from Morpheus’ statement. I couldn’t simply assume he had been smuggling changelings into Ponyville. He had given me no reason to mistrust him, and had in fact given me several to think I could.

It was clear from Rainbow’s account from earlier that day that Morpheus couldn’t keep an act up under pressure. It was bad news for hiding him from the town until we were ready, but it made it much easier to believe he was sincerely sorry for earlier. Taking both that and the incident with Spike into account, I felt I had good reason to trust that he wouldn’t try anything with my friends.

The rest of the town was another issue, but he seemed as reluctant to acknowledge the possibility of other changelings as I was.

Telling my friends immediately came to mind, but I figured resting first would do some good. They still needed to adjust to the idea of Morpheus hanging around, and I was personally running on fumes after the last couple of almost sleepless nights.

Thus I called an end to the festivities – much to Pinkie’s disappointment.

This, of course, meant her post slumber party breakfast party had to be upgraded to compensate.

“Tell me again why we’re calling this brunch when it’s only nine in the morning,” Morpheus groused. His head was buried in his hooves, and he flinched at the light peeking through the holes. “It’s too early for brunch. It’s too early to be up for that matter given the past couple days.”

I couldn’t help but agree, although my concurrence came in the form of gurgling whimpers reminiscent of a dying dog – a dying dog choking on rainbows and sunshine to be exact.

Pinkie’s voice was as perky as a wood chipper – eager to savagely consume all conversation to venture near it with horrid glee. “Silly filly! Oops. You’re not a filly anymore. Silly col- Wait! Colt doesn’t rhyme with silly. That won’t work at all. Flingy ling? Clingy ling? Blingy ling? Ring-a-ding ling? I’ll come up with something. Anyways! Silly changeling-who-is-not-a-filly! It is totally brunch. Brunch means breakfast through lunch, and that’s what this is! It’s a breakfast fit to last through lunch.”

The table groaned in agreement as another plate of baked goods settled on it. It was bear claws this time, and I now counted 47 different kinds of breakfast pastry, 17 bowls of fruit, 12 pitchers of various kinds of milk and juice, and one pancake palace complete with a little pancake princess inside.

I looked at the empty thermos in front of me with lifeless eyes. There was no emergency morning elixir for me today. Castle didn’t think to refill all the emergency rations. Spike would have done it daily the instant I got a project this big, but the all-powerful castle apparently didn’t have the initiative to do it unless I asked first.

“Coffee’s ready!” Applejack trotted from the kitchen with several pitchers of bitter ambrosia balanced on a tray on her back. “Sorry it took so long, but your pantries don’t make a lick of sense, sugarcube.”

They were organized alphabetically just like everything else. Granted I normally alphabetically sorted things after first organizing them in a more meaningful way, but my kitchen skills were limited to coffee and burnt toast. I would have told Applejack that if I hadn’t been lost to the simple smell of coffee.

“Hey! I don’t even need to make the eclairs. They were under E!” Pinkie clearly understood the system.

A carefully practiced teleport spell between the coffee and my emergency thermos – which I knew the exact measurements of – saved a precious few seconds of time wasted pouring. A quick cooling spell made the first thermos hot enough to enjoy but cool enough to drink with abandon, and I guzzled it black without pausing for breath.

There was the shuffling of newspaper as Rarity lowered the Canterlot Times to glance at me before quickly raising it again. “Twilight, darling, can you please drink with some decorum? We all know you aren’t a morning pony, but you’re such a drama queen about it sometimes.”

“So says the queen of queens to the meager princess.” I could snark again. Soon enough caffeine would hit my system to actually allow real conversation.

Rarity huffed. “So declares the queen of queens to the meager princess in the presence of foreign royalty.”

“Don’t drag me into this.” There was a clicking noise, and the holes in Morpheus’ legs closed up further hiding him from light. “Twilight has my full support here. I have no idea how the rest of you are so chipper after a meager four to five hours of sleep.” He pointed at Applejack. “You especially need more sleep after yesterday.”

Applejack chuckled. “I’d be lying if I didn’t say part of it was your reactions. There’s something mighty funny about seeing Princess Celestia’s personal student grumble about the sun. Besides I’ve been working the farm since I was a filly. Getting up at the crack of dawn is in my blood.”

Rainbow grinned and puffed out her chest. “I don’t need sleep. I get by on power naps because I’m tough enough to be on call for weather duty twenty-four seven.”

Rarity folded the paper and rolled her eyes. “You mean you’re able to get by on naps because they save you mostly for the big weather but pay you all the same. I know how the weather system works, Rainbow. I was a weather unicorn once after all. Thunderlane did almost nothing but strut like a peacock around Flitter and Cloudchaser unless I was on duty messing up. No offense meant, darling. You are our best defense against rogue weather from the Everfree, and you do need to be in top shape for that, but your normal workday is by no means hard.”

She nodded towards Applejack. “However, I’m sure your marefriend is willing to attest to the many sleepless nights that come with being a tailor.”

“Why I ought to…”

I tuned out Rarity and Rainbow Dash’s banter. They had had this argument too many times for it to be anything but friendly ribbing by now.

Instead, I enjoyed my second thermos. It was the rule. Get the first coffee as fast as possible but savor the second as if it was my last. I poured this one slowly to maximize the amount of that incredible aroma filling the air, and I mixed in the perfect amount of milk to dull the bitterness to a comfortable level. There was no need for sugar. The bitterness is what gave coffee its unique charm. I didn’t exactly like my coffee black, but to completely kill it’s most noteworthy feature with sweeteners was anathema to me.

I sipped from the thermos and hummed in appreciation at the familiar warmth spreading through my extremities.

My ear flicked as it caught quiet murmuring from Fluttershy. I didn’t want to distract myself from the delectable elixir in front of me, but I wasn’t exactly sure who else she’d be talking to with Rainbow, Rarity, and Applejack in a discussion and Pinkie in the kitchen.

Reorienting my ear, I found I could just barely hear her while continuing to savor my coffee.

“…So after that, I learned I needed to be ready to help nocturnal animals at a moments notice too. Being a scaredy-cat helped too for once actually. I’m such a light sleeper I can’t help but be a morning pony. At least… That’s what I think… If you don’t mind… I could be wrong…”

I turned my head to ask her for context, but Morpheus shrugged with his head still buried in his hooves, and I realized she was answering him like the others.

I smiled at that.

Turning back to my coffee, I listened. There was a nagging suspicion in the back of my head that I was forgetting something, but I was content with the moment.

“Oh… Good… Thank you for letting me be so quiet by the way…” Quiet was an understatement. It took almost all of my concentration to comprehend her. “It’s not often anypony bedsides my animal friends tries to listen when I’m this quiet. A lot of the time everypony is just too focused on everypony else to realize I’m speaking until I raise my voice, and as much as I’m used to it by now I still don’t like it, and… Oh… I’m sorry… I’m rambling, aren’t I? It’s just so much easier to talk like this since I’ve talked to my animal friends like this for years. You aren’t mad are you?”

There was a brief buzz from the prince’s wings. The others looked over at that, and my heart skipped a beat – buzzing having only signaled some form of stress or anger so far – but Fluttershy tittering on the threshold of my hearing stopped me from standing. Holding a hoof out to waylay the others I pointed to Fluttershy.

She hadn’t seen us tense. Morpheus had shifted subtly when I had started to stand, and she had immediately started fussing over him like he was one of her animal friends.

He was taking it calmly, all things considered.

He had undoubtedly felt my emotions fluctuating as my heart skipped a beat at his buzzing wings, and I doubt the others even considered trying to rein their feelings in.

I signaled the others to go back to what they were doing, and they obliged – casting an occasionally not-so-subtle glance toward the prince.

I went back to listening.

“I’m so, so sorry…” There was the typical unneeded apology from Fluttershy.

The corners of my mouth turned up at that. It wasn’t a full on smile, but it was close enough for me to actually begin eating while they continued.

“Did my laugh bother you? Was it too loud?” I almost laughed as Fluttershy said that. “My cheer sent Rainbow crashing into the library once. Don’t tell me I need to be more careful with my laugh…”

Morpheus gave another shrug, and Fluttershy sighed in relief. The prince hadn’t actually said a single word to her yet as far as I could tell.

I was seriously trying to puzzle out if that was good or bad.

Celestia knew he could talk when he wanted to. We had talked for hours just the other day.

In the end, there was only one way to find out.

“Hey, Fluttershy-“ I began.

Fluttershy squeaked and turned her head around fast enough that I was worried she might get whiplash. “Twilight! Don’t sneak up on me!”

“This is my castle, Fluttershy.” I deadpanned. “Why would I be sneaking up on you?”

She kicked at the ground. “Oh… Sorry… I guess I was just distracted. Morpheus seemed a little off, and you and the others were all doing something else so I tried to be assertive, and I got into a conversation with him.”

I smiled before letting through a frown. “That’s great! But Morpheus doesn’t seem to be doing much talking…”

Morpheus buzzed his wings once more, and Fluttershy smiled and nodded to him. A rather disturbing number of clacks and cracks came from his body as many of the joints in his exoskeleton popped while he stood. “That’s because ve weren’t talking in the traditional sense.” His voice came out an octave to low, and he stretched his jaw in particular as if testing it for faults. There was a quick flash of his horn and his voice was back to normal – normal for him at least. “It was somewhat one way, however. Ve must apologize, Miss Fluttershy. I haven’t had a heart-to-heart conversation since my Chrysaling. Most other Lords don’t trust anyling, and the common changeling wouldn’t dare be so informal with a Lord. It was a pleasant surprise to say least.”

“A what-to-what?” everypony chorused.

“Jinx!” yelled Pinkie from the kitchen, and we all started slightly. Tuning out the bubbly singing and the out-of-place construction noise had become automatic over time. It was sometimes disturbingly easy to forget Pinkie was around when she was just out of sight.

Out of sight means out of mind until you turn the corner to be blasted face first by party artillery.

Morpheus chuckled at everypony’s expressions – especially Fluttershy’s. “Did you not realize what you were doing?”

Fluttershy shook her head timidly, and Morpheus laughed. “How amusing! Ve figured it was kind of obvious since you’re the Element of Kindness. A heart-to-heart is just what it sounds like. Since ve can sense emotion, ve can communicate with it. You may not literally sense emotion, but you empathize with others so easily that you do it all the time with your animal friends.”

He stopped suddenly – shoulders drooping – as he saw Fluttershy sinking in on herself. “And this is why I didn’t actually voice anything when talking to you. Sorry… I’ll just go and run the preliminary scans.”

“Umm…” Unfortunately, the caffeine still hadn’t completely kicked in after so many restless nights.

The rest of my friends seemed to share my bafflement.

He started shifting into his disguise from yesterday. “I’m sorry everypony. It was really nice meeting you all, but Twilight and I potentially have an unknown number of rogues to deal with.”

“Wait a minute. Mor-“ I began, but he almost flew out the door. His sixth sense was apparently incredibly dense sometimes.

“Okay…” I began rubbing my temples to avoid my friends questioning looks. “I have no idea what he’s talking about, but I assume that means there was something I needed to tell you.”

“Nah, ya think?” drawled Applejack.

“You’re not helping,” I scrunched my face in contemplation. “What was it? What was it?”

“Ah don’t know. Why don’t you tell us?” One could hear Applejacks signature eyebrow arch.

Thankfully – or not – my blood to caffeine ratio finally hit optimum levels. “Sweet Celestia, how did I forget there might be other changelings?!” I prepared to teleport, but Rainbow flicked my horn. “Ow! What was that for?”

She glowered at me. “Well, you can’t leave us with just that.”

Pinkie spasmed out of the kitchen. “Yeah! I need to know how many extra parties that means.”

She looked at the mostly untouched table as her face was stuck with the look of somepony about to sneeze and she did an approximation of the potty dance. “Aww… You guys barely even started munching the brunch, although I guess it isn’t brunch anymore if we’re all leaving. We all know what wriggly nose, itchy whithers, and ballooning bladder means. I have to go check that my stashes are prepared for that before I can bolt myself in the shelter’s bathroom.”

Dash groaned. “Seriously! They told me we were done with the surprise emergency weather drills.”

Applejack chuckled. “They’re supposed to be a surprise, hon. It ain’t our fault Cloudsdale don’t buy into the Pinkie Sense.”

Dash snorted. “Yeah, but neither of us can stick around to keep an eye on Twilight and the fly if we’re busy prepping for that.”

“It’s so nice to know my friends had plans to spy on me.” I deadpanned. “Were you planning on telling me?”

Applejack nodded. “Of course we were. It ain’t spying if we’re open and honest about it.”

I returned to rubbing my temples. “Yes, that’s clearly much closer to stalking. Whatever, I suppose it’s better than blindly imagining him doing fiendish crimes behind your backs.”

Rarity tittered. “He doesn’t have the build for fiendish crimes, darling. Villains that commit fiendish crimes are always dreadfully ugly. And – unless he’s committing crimes against fashion – I doubt a shapeshifter would ever willingly be ugly. He’s more of a heinous villain than a fiendish one.”

I groaned. “What did I say about making this into one of your books, Rarity?”

A tinkling laugh answered. “I read more than trashy romance, Twilight. I just happen to prefer books that are a bit more risqué.”

“Umm…” Fluttershy tentatively interrupted, “Not to interrupt or anything, but I kind of need to go now if that’s alright with everypony. My cottage is kind of far and the animals…” Her voice trailed off.

“We all need to get going Ah reckon.” Applejack nodded. “And ah’m sure Twilight will tell us about whatever the hay Morpheus was talking about on the way.”

I sighed. “Come on then. We can talk about it while I see you all off, but I want a Pinkie Promise you won’t overreact until we all get a better idea of what’s going on.”

Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction (Twilight) Part 5

Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction (Twilight) Part 4

It took less than half the trip to the entrance hall to fill the girls in. It’s not like I actually knew much about the situation. The rest was spent in idle chatter over preparations for the drill. It was a bit unfair for my friends to prepare the town for a surprise drill, but even a Cloudsdale ‘practice’ wild storm could inflict damage if we weren’t careful.

It was actually an almost pointless endeavor on Cloudsdale’s part. Their idea of a wild storm and a real Everfree wild storm were completely different. Real wild storms behaved completely differently from what we’ve seen, but the bureaucracy just wouldn’t let the old system of practice drills go.

Thus we came into the entrance hall grumbling as Morpheus flew in a window.

“Thanks for keeping the window open, Castle.” The lights flickered as he turned to me. “You won’t believe what I found, Twilight.”

He shed his disguise and the series of green rib-like plates ringing his barrel and back started to shift. A number of cavities were revealed as they folded back with a rather unsettling number of cracking noises, and it was into them Morpheus poked his snout.

“Eew…”

“Oh my…”

“That’s not right…”

All of my friend’s faces except Fluttershy’s turned a sickly shade of green, and my face quickly followed.

Dash snorted. “Yeah, I’m not staying around for this. See ya later everypony!” Giving everpony a hug, she turned to look at Applejack. “And I’ll see you on the farm when I’m done.” A faster than light nuzzle along with a feather in Applejack’s mane followed before Dash rocketed out the window.

Morpheus whistled – having resurfaced halfway through the exchange. “Interesting… Does she even know what that means?”

Applejack and Fluttershy blushed while Rarity giggled. “She doesn’t have a clue, darling.”

Applejack tried to glare effectively at the prince through her mortification. “And we’re gonna keep it that way, partner. Alright?”

I looked back and forth between everypony. “Umm… Somebody want to fill me in?”

Rarity tittered. “A while back Rainbow came to me for advice on how to give public displays of affection without ruining her ‘reputation’.”

Morpheus chuckled. “And you gave her that? That’s a devious prank if I’ve ever seen one.”

I rolled my eyes. “But what is it?”

Rarity swooned – rearing on her hind hooves and lavishly gesturing to the heavens. “It’s a very old Pegasopolin tradition – a token gesture of undying love and fidelity usually used to propose. Only the most brave and daring pegasi knights would gift the very feathers that let them fly to those they hold dear, and it is said that even if lost in the longest night in the deadliest of winter’s blizzards such a token will always-“

Applejack stuck a hoof in Rarity’s mouth. “And that’s why we aren’t telling her.”

Rarity stumbled slightly and started to fall backwards, but I caught her in my telekinesis and settled her gently back on four hooves.

Applejack glowered at us. “Rainbow would freak and think it’s too sappy for her. And – as much as Ah hate that Ah asked Rarity about it and that Ah’m not telling Rainbow about it – Ah don’t want Dash getting all awkward again. The truth is it’s okay to get a little sappy sometimes, and Dash needs to learn that.”

She sighed and slumped her shoulders. “Maybe giving her a chance to do that without realizing she’s actually being sappy will help her see that.”

That called for a group hug, and I obliged alongside the other girls.

Morpheus, meanwhile, returned to his search. His voice was oddly distorted as the natural echo it contained echoed a second time out of the cavities his muzzle was poked into. “Ve can understand that, although it’s a little surprising to hear the Element of Honesty say it.” Applejack flinched within the pony pile and the prince paused for a moment before continuing. “Forgive us. Ve merely meant that all ve know about you suggests you would never approve of such a half-deception.”

“Ah ain’t gonna lie about it if she asks!” Applejack bristled. “She just doesn’t have a reason to ask.”

Morpheus’ chuckle echoed. “That’s a changeling answer if ve ever heard one.”

Applejack sputtered but couldn’t respond. Her right eye twitched twice before she pulled herself from the group hug, and she walked out the door without a word.

I raised a hoof to follow, but I hesitated as my charge sighed in the background.

Pinkie looked between us before following her. “I’ll go try and talk her down. The last thing we need is a grumpy wumpy Applejack. Besides, I’m sure it was a compliment, right Morpheus?”

Morpheus thrummed as he pulled out an object wrapped in a teal cocoon of some kind. “It was more an observation than anything else, but ve certainly weren’t insulting her. The compliment is how wonderful it is she can think like that. More ponies thinking like that would be fantastic. Let’s see now. Is this it?”

His hoof shifted slightly. A small point began to gather on the end when he suddenly flinched and hastily shifted back. “Of course that would be considered a weapon by the Contract. All I want is the equivalent of a can opener.”

Rarity tilted her head. “Contract, darling?”

Morpheus and I froze for a second. We looked at each other with the befuddled stares of two ponies trying to figure out who was crazier. He clearly assumed I had told my friends about the contract – as if I’d actually defy an order from Celestia. I had simply said we had him under control, leaving the specifics vague because I knew it would be enough for them. Luckily, my mind came up with a brilliant answer to the predicament.

“I can get you a can opener!” I winced as my voice cracked halfway through the statement

He stared at me a second longer and flicked his wings a couple times. “No, I’ll just use my fang I suppose. I guess that’s safe since it’s a natural part of me.” He bit into small cocoon only for a small amount of glistening black-green goo to bleed out. “Blegh… That’s definitely not honey. Carapace cement is much less palatable.”

Rarity whimpered and summoned her emergency fainting couch.

I felt the little bit of breakfast I ate almost rise back up.

Fluttershy took a different approach and took a step forward to examine it – backing off the instant Morpheus chuckled and started to hoof it to her.

The prince slung his head for a second before shaking himself and snorting. Sitting on his haunches, he began rubbing his two fore hooves together – much like a fly or one of Spike’s dastardly comic book villains. While the rest of us regained our composure, the teal substance that composed the cocoon began to appear in his hooves. He carefully layered it over the hole he had made, and then patched it.

He once more returned to his search after setting it back in his rib cavities.

Fluttershy cast a furtive glance at Morpheus through her mane before turning to us. “I should really get going. Angel can get things ready on his own, but he’s a bit too… Assertive…”

Rarity sighed. “I suppose I should get going as well. As much as I’d love to stay longer, Twilight, I need to make sure my designs are safe from any horrid water that might sneak its way in.”

One last hug was shared, and I wished them well. I momentarily maintained an illusion over Morpheus when the door was opened – just in case – but it wasn’t needed. Closing the door, I made my way to the prince choosing my words carefully. “That could have gone better, but I suppose it did match my expectations for the most part.”

Morpheus thrummed in thought. With his snout in whatever his rib cavities were—the term corbiculae came to mind from our discussion a couple days ago, but there was a lot of jargon in that discussion—what once sounded like a group of bees playing a double bass melded into something even more surreal.

A shiver began to run down my spine as I heard it, but I managed to cut off at the half way point. I refused to let some millennia old instinct interfere with trying to make friends here. One double bass became two then three then four. The sound quickly became its own little orchestra section, and I couldn’t help but grin at the mental image of a bunch of changelings coming together to sing as a living orchestra.

I was snapped from my reverie by Morpheus’ answer. “Your mood would suggest things went better than expected, but what do ve know? If last yesterday taught us anything, it’s that ve are not a mind reader or master planner. No matter how ve analyze the situation, ve are baffled by how events transpired so poorly but ended with such a positive outcome.” His face was still hidden from me, and the extra distortion to his voice made it even harder to gauge the sincerity to his words.

All the same I could see he needed comforting of some kind.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t exactly comfortable with using my normal repertoire of friendly behaviors. The typical nuzzle, hug, and other things I might do for my best friends just didn’t translate here. It would be like hugging Discord – which went as horrible as I expected the one time Fluttershy included him in the group hug.

So I just stood there – silently wishing I knew what to do.

He finally pulled another cocoon out, shifting his sides back into place. The silky object levitated around his head, and I saw the glassy eyed stare I was getting used to when he was lost in thought.

I waited as patiently as I could until he finally sighed. “Ve are sorry if what ve are about to say causes you discomfort, but ve simply cannot estimate a series of actions that would avoid such a situation. I did in fact find proof of at least one other changeling in Ponyville. There could be more since I could only run the most basic of scans without you, but this is definitive proof.”

The cocoon was cut open and, I stared at its contents.

“Morpheus?” I inquired.

“Yes?” he returned.

“This is candy.” I deadpanned.

“Yes,” he replied.

I brought my hoof to my face. “Let me rephrase that. Why am I looking at candy?”

His face was completely straight as he responded. “They’re Bon Bon’s Honey Drops. The sales pitch literally says they have ‘love in every batch’.”

I groaned. “That’s just advertising!”

He grinned. “You say that, but that doesn’t mean it’s true.” I noticed his fangs literally shrink as his smile broke out. It wasn’t quite as unnerving as having full-sized fangs bared at me, but it was still a bit off-putting.

I looked away. “You don’t mean…”

Morpheus chuckled. “Yes, I do. These beauties are made of changeling honey. You’re looking at some of the purest crystalized love ve have ever seen. Looks and tastes like normal honey to the physical senses, but – to an emotivore – each drop of honey this pure tastes like a precious memory.”

His voice fractured. “N-Not that I pry into the memories. T-That’d be rude. But love this pure is something special.”

I barely heard him after the first three words. My mind was still struggling to process the situation. “But Bon Bon passes the monthly changeling detection scans without issue… I’ve known her for years. It can’t be her.”

Morpheus shrugged. “It could be her supplier.”

“But she supplies her own honey. She told me herself over lunch with her and Lyra – even showed me her beehives.” It felt like the walls were closing in. I brought my hoof to my chest, pushing it outward and away with a slow deep breath.

But it wasn’t slow – only deep – and they kept coming alarmingly fast.

I heard Morpheus say something, but I didn’t take the time to understand it. “I-I need some fresh air. Stay in the castle.”

I gathered myself to leap for the window Morpheus had entered through.

But it was gone.

Sighing with far too much force, I slowly eased a small bit of the tension from my legs and carefully managed to not bolt for the door.

I shoved my shoulder against it only for it to refuse to budge.

“Castle, open the door!”

The doors parted with an agonizingly slow rumble.

I looked back at the prince. “And don’t leave under any circumstances until I come back.”

Running out the door, I took flight. Thunder rumbled in my ears, and I saw a flash of light in the distance.

It didn’t occur to me until it was too late that the thunder preceded the lightning.

Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction (Twilight) Part 6

Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction (Twilight) Part 5

I wanted – no needed – to be alone, and I had stubbornly resolved that the Castle of the Two Sisters was the best place to do that.

Of course, I got more than I bargained for when flying forward with my thoughts focused on anything but safety.

The Everfree has a certain savage beauty to it for those that repeatedly adventure into its depths. To most residents of Ponyville and the rest of Equestria, it is a mysterious dark entity where nature refuses to work right. But my friends and I are a number of the few who recognize that it simply follows its own rules.

In a way the Everfree is like Pinkie. It defies the world as we know it, and it is best to approach its oddities with half a leap of faith. There are many dangers contained within, but it is remarkable how often there is a warning to the danger before it strikes.

Everfree wild storms, for example, have the peculiar warning of thunder followed by lighting as the sky gathers energy from the forest below. There are no ominous clouds in the distance to signal a wild storm. One second it’ll be clear skies, and the next there will be clouds on top of us. The only warning is the reverse lightning strikes which – oddly enough – also foretell the exact number of normal lightning strikes during the storm.

I didn’t follow the rules.

I flew on after I finally saw the warning for what it was.

And I foalishly thought I could make it to the castle.

I heard the roar of thunder from right next to me. The blast of sound sent me tumbling towards the soon-to-be lightning, and I had to teleport blindly.

I rematerialized to catch sight of a bolt of energy arcing into the air less than twenty trots from me.

The heat from the blast sent a tingling sensation across my coat, and I arced to my left – only to find myself shooting toward the canopy below.

“Discord damn it all!” I corrected my flight pattern as fast as my protesting wings would allow. My hooves briefly skimmed the canopy before I rose again, and a sloppy healing spell handled the damage to my hearing as best it could. That was the fifth strike to almost hit, and I couldn’t afford to be so close to the canopy in case I needed to teleport again.

My feathers were in disarray, and I felt the muscles throbbing in my wings with each wretched flap. My primaries all but screamed in agony at the slightest rotation.

The only thing keeping me going at this point was the adrenaline. “If I make it out of this, I need to add teleporting mid-flight to my studies. This is ridic-”

I teleported again, dodging the sixth bolt. “-ulous!”

I arced upwards this time to quickly find I’d come in upside down. Turning it into a rather shaky loop, I managed to right myself a little faster this time.

My cry of victory – feeble, but well-earned – was drowned along with my brief rush of endorphins by another reverse strike forming in the distance.

Grimacing, I looked back towards Ponyville to see the Cloudsdale practice storm still in full swing. And the Everfree storm was picking up momentum faster than I’d hoped it would. The rumble of thunder was constant, and spears of lightning continually pierced the heavens on all sides. Possibly the biggest storm of the century was forming.

And it was close to coalescing.

The strikes were only seconds apart at most – maybe even less – and it’d be foolish to continue pretending I could risk going on to the Castle of the Two Sisters any longer. Soon the Everfree would be giving birth to a very healthy, very strong, and very violent storm.

I scanned the trees below, looking for an opening to descend. A sea of verdant emerald, moss, and hunter green met my gaze. The forest glowed with life, and yet it was paradoxically buried in shadows. Its greens were greener. The trees seemed lusher. I saw this for the briefest of seconds as the lightning rocketed skyward – only for the ever present gloom to reassert itself.

There was a price for that bounty of life. Amid the darker greens, some almost black as night, was an unspoken law.

To gain life in the Everfree one must take life.

The darkness flitted and danced with feral glee promising strength and wisdom to those who lived through the night to see another day.

My heart beat faster – impossible as that was. The throbbing ache in my wings bled together into one uniform pain, and I could hear manic drums as my blood pounded in my ears.

Taking as deep a breath as I could, I winced at how taut everything felt.

Holding it in for a second, I released.

It wasn’t slow, but it was no longer so fast, and I repeated the process as I looked for a clearing.

I tried to calm myself further by mentally reciting the more memorable snippets of Charles Darewind’s On the Origin of Species. It was a marvelous – and fitting – griffon work to recall, and it in no way soothed me as I imagined what the term ‘survival of the fittest’ entailed within the Everfree.

Then the seventh bolt came, and I wasn’t prepared.

A massive column of light erupted from the ground about 100 trots from me. Normally, that’d be perfectly fine.

But the bolt was as thick as a tree.

The light seared my eyes – blinding me – and the wave of heat that washed over me blew me back as the air right next to the bolt reacted violently to such an extreme change in temperature. I felt thousands of little needles prick me. Rain – tiny, fast, and cold – was pelting me from everywhere. The air that had been displaced from the sudden heat of that last lightning bolt suddenly found itself torn apart a second time amid the rain’s deathly chill.

I heard a branch crash into the ground above me.

I was upside down again, and struggled to right myself. Hovering – or rather stumbling in almost one place as the wind pushed me around – I cast a minor healing spell on my eyes.

My heart stopped when the darkness didn’t fade.

A flash of lightning jumpstarted it to unhealthy speeds again.

I waited for the next bolt. I needed a frame of reference in this all-encompassing darkness.

The bolt came, and it was like Celestia herself was pointing the way. The final reverse bolt that had pulled the storm together had created a clearing in the canopy. Even in the rain I could hear the fragile branches crackling, and I could taste the smoke in my mouth.

Thanking the stars, I didn’t dare question why. I just followed them, correcting my path when the lightning came. As I finally made it, the wind all but shoved me down the breach, and I whimpered as branch after branch ‘cushioned’ the fall to the ground below.

I laid there simply letting the rain wash over me.

Beneath the canopy the rain was soothing and gentle. Each drop kneaded my coat just the slightest bit – providing a light massage. The cold of the rain didn’t reach into the depths of the forest. It was damp and muggy, but oddly cozy, and I was tempted to give in to my exhaustion right there.

The bed of moss I’d landed on provided just enough luminescence to chase the shadows away, but not enough to hamper sleep if I choose to nod off. It was lush and springy, and it smelled like a garden of citrus fruit.

It was a heady and wonderful scent that did an amazing job at masking what clearly should have smelled like burning wood. I could barely register the scent of the scorch mark from the final bolt or the rotting carcass next to it.

I snuggled into the bed as alarm bells rang in my mind. I shoved my head under the moss like it was a pillow and ignored them. I just wanted five more minutes of rest.

Then a timberwolf howled in the distance, and I remembered where I was.

I struggled to my feet – not in pain but exhaustion.

My whole body was numb as I stepped from my almost-bed, and I desperately wished to feel the shiver I could only imagine was running down my spine.

Mossed covered stones were littered between the trees. All of them were about the size of a bed – or perhaps a coffin. And all of them gave off the most wonderful scent of pleasant dreams that would last a very long time. Some of them held creatures wrapped in sweet slumber, while others held corpses in a slow state of decay.

I tiphoofed past the manticores and other assorted monsters, fighting the urge to get back to my stone and sleep.

I didn’t know whether I should be grateful or terrified I had landed in Looming Slumber. Any longer and I would have fallen asleep while being slowly digested by sweet smelling acid none-the-wiser.

I hadn’t even felt the prick that had administered the anesthesia.

I stumbled through the forest with as much care as I could – which wasn’t much with my body as numb as it was.

Thankfully the rain masked the noise. At least I think it did, I could barely hear the racket I imagined myself to be making as I tripped over roots and scraped past untold numbers of trees.

I must have looked a mess. The few times I’d dared to give myself the slightest bit of light I’d found it almost crushed within the rain and shadows. I’d caught a brief glimpse of mud and purple – but mostly mud – with a bit blood from a couple scratches mixed in. The spell wasn’t worth the effort to maintain when it only gave enough light to give my position away.

I stumbled in darkness hoping to find one of the paths Zecora had made. It was a miracle I didn’t run into any predators, or maybe it was a sign of just how bad the storm was that the monsters of the Everfree hid in their hovels.

It was raining buckets, and – no matter how nice it felt on my coat – there was the threat of hypothermia.

Of course, I couldn’t feel the cold eating away at me. It was another ‘blessing’ of the Looming Slumber, and a tingle ran down my spine at the mere thought of that near miss. I smiled at the sensation before I realized what it meant.

Tingling meant I was feeling something, and that meant the aches and pains would start inching back soon. I was certain that when the anesthesia wore off I wouldn’t be able to continue. I’d collapse from cold or pain or something worse.

I needed to find something before then. It could be a path or shelter.

Hay, I’d settle for the Ursa’s cave. I’m sure we could work out a fair exchange of babysitting services for temporary room and board.

I walked until the weight of the situation pressed down on me, and I screamed to the heavens with no care for the consequences. “Rainbow! Can you hear me?! Applejack! Pinkie! Rarity! Fluttershy! Anypony!”

No pony answered.

“Anything?” My voice trailed off.

A twig snapped behind me, and with a flash of my horn I teleported as far away as I could.

The rain had stopped a while ago. I wasn’t sure when.

It had certainly done its job though.

I trudged on as the cold bit into my body, and I couldn’t tell if the numbness was more from the all-encompassing chill or the remnants of the Looming Slumber.

I didn’t exactly have the energy to care either. I had been conversing with a snail as large as myself while I worked up the willpower to take a fresh step every five seconds or so – that is, if a pony can consider low moans and absolute silence an exchange of information.

The wind tickled my ears, and for a second I swore I heard a violin. Faint notes skittered through my head, and I froze – or rather I stopped trying to unfreeze. Racking my brain for potential threats that used music, I couldn’t think of any. But I was so tired at that point. I could have easily been inventing half the monsters I was recalling from The Big Book of Monsters Everfree.

I might have even invented the title for all I knew.

The breeze came again, and my ears swatted it away. Another tingle ran down my spine, and I felt the first throb of blood in my wings as they spread without thought.

I ignored the haunting melody of a single lonely violin.

Wind didn’t reach this deep into the forest. It could breach the thinner trees at the Everfree’s edge, but then it faltered against the mighty walls of the older trees farther in – where brambles and thickets and thorns choked the ground so much only narrow paths remained.

That was where I had been when I teleported.

Now I walked the inner sanctum of the forest, where ancient trunks taller and thicker than some of the spires of Canterlot stood. There weren’t any bushes to scramble through or undergrowth to trip on. If I wasn’t walking on dusty mulch, I was walking over a root large enough to act as a small bridge. No sunlight could ever reach the dank and musty air here – only the occasional bioluminescence from a bit of moss. Even those flickered and sputtered like dying torches as they struggled to live off the dead and decaying leaves from the canopy above.

But there was always enough light to see the outlines.

Far off in the distance – or perhaps closer than I realized – the faint shape of massive beasts shambled through the woods. Titans and behemoths stalked the open spaces between each mighty tree, and there was just the slightest tremor to the earth at all times.

I had almost been stepped on once, but the creature hadn’t noticed me – ant that I was compared to it.

My pace finally exceeded that of the snail’s. I was shambling forward with no idea where to go. I doubted my friends would find me this deep in the forest.

The violin picked up speed, and I began to trot. I felt the muffled screams of numb muscles, but the music was as good a goal as any. There was the incredibly small chance it actually was a violin, and a violin meant a potential rescuer.

Faster and faster went the tune of the lonely little instrument, and my trot became a canter.
I ran with abandon as the song flitted away – fading into the distance faster than I could try to catch it.

And then it suddenly fractured to surround me in a torrent of sound.

My ears flattened against my head from the sudden difference. The forest had been deadly quiet, the violin nothing but a faint tickling in my ear. Now there were dozens of them stabbing at my ears from all sides.

In those echoes something chittered. “Well, if it isn’t the crystal caverns all over again. Ve told the others you’d become as lost as you possibly could. I suppose no-ling knows you like I do though. We are the best of enemies. That’s how it works, right?”

I groaned at how much the noise hurt. The voice buzzed like a swarm of wasps, and each one stabbed at my sleep-deprived mind.

I needed to rest.

I couldn’t move anymore.

As I collapsed on the ground, the chittering continued. “Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I’ll forgive you for the social faux pas of not recognizing me immediately. You’re not in your right mind after everything that’s happened today, and you’ve never actually heard my real voice before.

“Still… as much as I love to see you in such exquisite agony, business comes before both revenge and pleasure. I can’t have you blacking out on me before my little speech is done.”

Something appeared before me – a sharp outline in the darkness. Its horn glowed a green I was all too familiar with, and the former queen of the changelings banished the darkness around us.

I think I might have preferred it the other way.

“Chrysa-” My scream was nothing more than a feeble croak that broke into a coughing fit halfway through.

“Yes, it’s me, and there won’t be any sunshine here to wake you. How’d that ridiculous rhyme go again? It was something about a spider eating a ladybug?”

The queen was just as I remembered her. Her fangs glinted in an arrogant smirk as she chittered. She stood tall and proud with the aura of somepony who knew she was better than everypony else – and delighted in reminding them. Where Celestia had dignity and grace in her somewhat similar proportions, the former queen was haughty and gaunt. The holes in her mane and hooves only added to the appearance of somepony with a black hole for a heart.

The only difference was a series of what seemed to be scar marks on her flank.

The bands on her side shifted like Morpheus’ had earlier that day, and a small crystal floated out.

Her little bouts of chittering stopped, and the buzz to her voice sharpened to something closer to what it had been at the wedding. It was a little lower – a little colder. “I was saving this for our inevitable showdown, but it seems I have to waste it now. That nymph of mine is an idealistic foal for thinking his pathetic peace attempt will work – just like he’s a foal in everything else he does – but he needs to learn that through experience if he ever wants to rule properly .”

She popped the crystal in her mouth, and leaned down to stare straight into my eyes.

“He’ll never get that chance if you die here. In fact, he’ll be trapped in that castle of yours forever, because you were idiotic enough to fly straight into a storm.”

I quivered, and tried not to wince in pain. My body had dredged up enough adrenaline for one last futile spike to the flight-or-fight system. With no energy to run, all that came from it was an end to the numbness as my body struggled to go into overdrive.

“Want to know what he’s doing right now? He’s desperately coordinating a search party from the castle because taking a step outside to do it himself would literally stop his heart.” Chrysalis’ voice fractured briefly. “Did you even think through the actual consequences of what he gave you? You probably thought of all the ways he might abuse it, but what of all the ways you could abuse him through that moronic gamble of his? He willingly gave you the death warrant of what he assumed was his entire species. Did you even think of how you could have wiped us from the map with a single systematic strike?”

The cold now stabbed at me instead of simply biting. A pounding ache filled my body as blood rushed to every corner of it. The dozens of tiny scratches marring me suddenly stung to the high heavens as I felt little bits of mud crumbling from my coat into them.

She snorted while sucking upon the crystal. “And then your lofty goddesses of the sun and moon had the gall to accuse him of genocide when you were the ones being given the power. It’s a complete disaster! Ve’ve already had to divert at least a quarter of our agents to cutting off assassination attempts on you two, because you were all idiotic enough to bind my son but not the other lords – who are by and large a much bigger threat.”

My vision was tunneling so that all I could see was Chrysalis. I could barely hear. I was too tired despite the adrenaline’s best efforts.

A flash of green fire turned the queen into me. I think she was shouting, but her voice was nothing but a dull drone to my ears. “It would be so easy to replace you right now and fix everything! Ve could use you to get to Celestia, and our entire plan would fall into place!”

The queen quivered above me. “But no! That’s not an option! I can’t do that and get that idiot of mine out of this mess. He’s as good as dead if I do, and – even if he isn’t – he won’t learn anything from it!”

My eyes started to close.

“Now kiss me.”

Even on the precipice of blacking out, I noticed the discrepancy between that statement and the current context.

“What?” I managed to croak before a tongue that was far too elastic entered my mouth and shoved a piece of candy down my throat.

Warmth infused me as the scent of rose petals and steel filled my nostrils while honey and saliva mingled in my mouth. I expected it to burn given all my injuries, but it soothed, and I could feel the cuts closing and the swelling recede. Small pricks flew over my wings as if somepony was gently preening them, and my feathers aligned into a more comfortable position.

I still felt dirty and ragged.

I still ached all over.

But I was refreshed and rejuvenated all the same.

I also felt incredibly dirty in an entirely new way that had nothing to do with the mud on me.

The first action I elected to do with my newfound energy was pull back and shriek like a banshee. “What the hay was that?”

The arrogant grin was so much more than that now, and it was particularly unsettling on my own face. “Aww… I only get hay? I thought for sure that deserved a buck. Don’t be mad. It’s not like you can digest crystalized love on your own. You needed the proper enzymes, and I provided.”

I rose to my feet wobbling. “And why should I buy that?! You could have eaten it yourself and cast a healing spell if you wanted to just save me.”

She tittered just like me, and my insides squirmed. I couldn’t see the difference from when I practiced speaking in the mirror. “But it’s so much more satisfying to give you your brother’s love directly. There are so many taboo undertones to watch you struggle with. Don’t you just love the taste?”

She flared her wings out – my wings – provocatively. “Or perhaps you’re a fan of this particularly narcissistic image?”

The flames of her transformation couldn’t burn her statements from my mind.

Back to her normal self, the tittering became chittering. “Or maybe you’re into Oubliettes and Ogres like your brother. Ve think that was our favorite. I actually still have the chains.”

I stumbled back trying to bleach my brain. “Stop it, and start making sense! What do you want? Why did you help me, and what are you going to do with me?”

“I’m not making sense?” Chrysalis’s grin dripped with maliciousness. “Then I guess my acting classes are paying off.”

“Are you joking?” I was back to croaking as my throat ached.

The former queen’s face went flat. The buzzing echo quieted to a drone. “I could be, or maybe I’m testing you? Can you tell the difference? Am I the taunting mastermind who greeted you? Or am I the ranting villain who bumbled her plans to replace Celestia? Perhaps I’m the twisted nymphomaniac who kissed you. I could even be the mother whose mask slipped and wants to keep her son safe, although I doubt you of all ponies believe that one.”

Green flames left a brown earth pony in front of me. “Can you tell what is what in a world where there is no true reality – only a number of possibilities and probable results? Go on and try the changeling detection spell. I dare you. See how flimsy reality is.”

I scrounged together the magic – only to stumble at the negative result.

Another flash fire consumed her, and a teal pegasus stood in front of me. “You need to learn as much as he does. You’re idiots and foals, all of you. Care to try this one?”

There was another negative. I couldn’t manage the words.

Another burst of flames left a familiar alabaster alicorn before me. “How about me, my most faithful student? Can you pass this test?”

I trembled, and used the last of the magic I’d regained from Chrysalis’ ‘gift’, sagging to the ground at the result.

“Positive.” I whispered.

“For now…” The thing that was not Celestia ruffled her wings. She had the same serene smile that let me know things would always work out in the end. “But mark my words Twilight Sparkle. You had better hope my son succeeds at his foal’s errand, because ve can almost guarantee you won’t like plan C.”

A familiar portal of fire surrounded me. One last whisper of wind reached me as it closed. “And ve can assure you it’ll be so much worse if he ends up harmed in any way.”

Much like before, I felt pressure on all sides. I managed to stay conscious almost all the way to the end of the spell this time, but I blacked out inches from the exit of the stifling nothingness within.

It was enough, however. There was a familiar echoing buzz calling my name from the other end, and it was definitely not Chrysalis.

Other voices chimed in, and I heard my friends.

I sighed in relief as much needed sleep claimed me.

Honest Acceptance (Morpheus) Part 1

Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction (Twilight) Part 6

To this day I’m not entirely sure what Chrysalis’ original plan really was. Morpheus says I shouldn’t think of it as one plan, and that it’s more likely her actions that day were geared towards several different schemes.

But I simply don’t understand how such conflicting goals could run in parallel.

She saved me, and at the same time she taunted me with mind games. She all but said peace was the best option while hanging a much bigger threat above my head.

There was no diplomacy involved – only a very large stick. If she wanted to conquer or even infiltrate Equestria again, she shouldn’t have shown even the tiniest sliver of kindness.

On the other hoof, a desire for peace shouldn’t carry such malice.

Morpheus had told me a bit about the other lords, but I hadn’t really paid those warnings their due until that point. I had been avoiding thinking about the wedding and Chrysalis, but confronting the former queen brought all those repressed thoughts to the surface. While I extended my trust to Morpheus, I could no longer ignore that not all changelings would want peace.

Granted – from what Morpheus told me – it was mostly the elite few at the top of the hierarchy.

The lords themselves were the problem, and Chrysalis only confirmed that as she taunted me and saved me in the same breath. The way she casually discussed cutting off assassination attempts still sends a shiver down my spine whenever I think on it.

A quarter of her agents were being diverted to save me and Morpheus, and it was quite clear what she thought about having to waste resources on me.

In the end though, I think the most terrifying part of her plan – the part I don’t think my friends or even Princess Celestia fully realized – was the beauty of revealing that changelings could defeat the changeling detection spell to me and me alone. To my regret, it’s something I’ve only discussed with Morpheus, Princess Luna, and Discord of all beings before now.

But they’re the only ones I know who could truly understand.

If the changeling detection spell could be defeated, then what was there to stop my friends from assuming I’d been replaced?

In the end, that was the most maddening mind game of all. There was no reason for my friends to trust me, and I had seen how much they doubted me only the night before.

That was the beauty – however horrifying – of Chrysalis’ gamble. I believe she thought that revealing her newfound abilities would place me in a situation much like her son. She wanted me to experience first hoof all the distrust and hatred she thought Morpheus would face.

Despite the brilliance of her strategy – or maybe because of it – I would find Chrysalis had once again underestimated the power of friendship, and I couldn’t be happier because of it.

Then again, if what Morpheus says is true, maybe her plans revolved around my friends accepting me while simultaneously relying on them rejecting me.

I stirred awake to the quiet mutterings of my friends. Groaning, I sat up slowly in what I was starting to recognize as my bed.

The murmuring cut off briefly as my eyes adjusted. For a second everything was silent before my friend’s voices rang out in chorus.

“Twilight!”

Pink, cyan, white, orange, and buttercup yellow converged on me, and my vision refocused to find myself about to be stampeded by love and affection. I melted into the group hug, and simply enjoyed the contact and chatter. I hummed as Applejack and Rainbow pestered me with questions of what happened, and Pinkie rambled her usual nonsense. Rarity fussed over how bandages were never color coordinated, and Fluttershy voiced her concerns too quiet for me to hear.

They were my friends.

“If ve can interrupt the party,” Morpheus echoed from outside my pile of friends, “who exactly found you? Noling has come forward to claim credit.”

He stood near the wall, watching us with an unreadable face. A small shiver went down my spine. It was the same face Chrysalis used when asking me which parts of her act were real. I knew Morpheus – at least a little – and I had to wonder what he was hiding. It was so easy to treat him like a pony sometimes, but now I could see at least some of that was an act.

He wanted me to be more comfortable, and I didn’t know if that was good or bad.

I squirmed slightly, trying to pick up something from his stoic stance. “Would you believe me if I said ‘your mom’?”

There was a sharp intake of breath, accompanied by the clacking of rapidly shifting segments of carapace. I felt my friends being pulled off of me as Morpheus examined every inch of me.

“Hey! What gives?!” Rainbow swooped back in to land between us.

“I was checking she wasn’t a changeling.” The prince’s buzz fractured slightly.

I shuffled back slightly at the words.

Rainbow flared her wings. “Look! You’re scaring her after she probably just went through Tartarus and back. Get back to your corner, and let her explain first. You’re lucky we even let you in here, fly boy!”

“I agree, darling. I already checked that she wasn’t a changeling.” Rarity had grabbed a brush from my vanity to fix her mane. “Let the mare breathe.”

“How can you not understand?!” Morpheus’ wings buzzed violently. “My mother is the worst possible changeling to have found her. Ve would never have asked her to join the search ourselves. Hive knows why some of my agents must still be loyal to her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s threatening them.”

“That’s not a very nice thing to say about your mom.” Pinkie wrapped a foreleg around me. “Does this look like a monstrous shapeshifting bug to you? Just look at that adorkable face.”

Morpheus snorted. “Really? She didn’t tell you who my mother is?” He glared at me. “How much did you actually tell them? Because it is starting to feel like you kept out all the pieces you should have actually shared with the ponies you trust most.”

I squeaked. “I thought it would color their opinion of you.”

Morpheus opened his mouth to say something. His wings buzzed in such an errant fashion that they occasionally rubbed against each other – creating discordant violin notes.

“Don’t yell at her or I’ll kick your flank out of here!” Rainbows tail flicked restlessly from side to side.

He took a deep shuddering breath, and the echo quieted. “Does that really matter compared to letting them know what they need to know? Maybe you took my impromptu lesson on changelings the wrong way, or maybe Celestia is teaching you to be as enigmatic a ruler as she is, but you do not omit things of this magnitude to the few ponies you can trust here.”

“Believe me when I say they are your bastion in a sea of royal duties.”

I cringed.

“That’s it, jerkface. You’re out of here.” Rainbow took a step forward on seeing my reaction. “You got the rope, AJ?”

“You bet your bridle I do.” Applejack popped her hat off and reached inside.

“N-no!” My voice was shaky. I could see all my initial work falling apart. I had wanted to tell them, but Celestia had told me not to – at least for now.

My friends stared at me.

“He’s right… I didn’t tell you everything. Maybe I should have, but I didn’t. Some of it was Celestia’s orders, and the rest was just overwhelming me. I’m done with that though. Right now I need you girls more than ever.”

Another flash of color had me pinned within a group hug – Rainbow and Applejack taking only the slightest hesitation as they glared at Morpheus.

I sighed, knowing it wouldn’t last forever. “Morpheus is Chrysalis’ son.”

The temperature of my pony blanket dropped slightly, and my voice came out a whisper. “I thought you would all pick up on that from his title of Prince, and I didn’t have the heart to bring it up when I realized none of you figured it out.”

I should have expected the gale force winds that knocked us over as Rainbow imposed herself between us and Morpheus. “He’s what?!”

Various aches began waking up from the forest. I had wondered where they’d been.

“Stop…” Putting a hoof to my chest, I wheezed as I became aware exactly how hoarse my voice was. I sounded like a downright mess, and that couldn’t be helping my friends’ impression of Morpheus.

“You don’t understand what he gave up to be here.” I coughed at the worst possible time.

“I’m with Rainbow here, sugarcube.” Applejack stepped forward, standing like a mountain between us. “Give us one good reason the few good things he’s done won’t just be an act.”

I gritted my teeth. “For starters, he literally handed me his death warrant.”

Applejack and Rainbow paused in their advance. Morpheus had been taking measured steps back, but ceased as my friends did.

“Come again, Twi?”

I sighed. “I mean he literally handed me a magically binding contract made of dark, forbidden magic that essentially said ‘If I screw up, you get to kill me.’”

Rainbow blinked before shaking her head. “Doesn’t matter. Even if that took a lot of guts, it’s totally a trap.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “What if I told you it was originally signed by his entire species? That’s how dedicated he is. Granted, it’s more stupid than anything else.”

Morpheus coughed.

Smiling, I continued. “But I’d call that real loyalty to his cause. He didn’t even back down when Celestia actually surged.”

My friends stared at me again. I thought I had told them everything they needed to know, but looking back all I did was just talk in vague circles. .

I had told them what they needed to know, but not what I needed them to know.

Blushing under the scrutiny, I faked a cough awkwardly. Soon it expanded into the real thing only to collapse into wheezing chuckles. “Oh, it feels so good to actually tell you all this instead of acting all princess-y. I can’t believe I pulled a Celestia. I didn’t even realize I was doing it! I dragged you all in without telling you anything, and I’m sorry for that. I’m not supposed to be the cryptic one.”

Applejack and Rainbow glanced at each other before nodding and backing down. They were still tense. All of my friends were, and grabbing them all in my telekinesis it was my turn to give them a hug.

Wrapping my wings around them, I giggled. “Relax. This is why I didn’t want to tell you everything – I think. I was worried you would all just fret over my problems when you didn’t need to. I need you to though. I can see that now, and – just like you’ll be here for me – I’m going to be here for you.”

I sighed as I felt them unwind slightly. “Alright, I think that’s the last of the old stuff. If you want me to elaborate any more on it, I’m sure Castle could provide me a lecture hall when I’m not so tired. I know you all love my lectures. Now who’s ready for the more recent news?”

“Oh! Oh! Pick me! Pick me!” Pinkie’s hoof skyrocketed, jostling our precariously balanced jumble of ponies. I lifted my wings as they gathered themselves together.

My bed had grown at some point – or perhaps we had shrunk. Questioning Castle wasn’t worth it right now. It was warm and cozy with heat rising from the mattress despite the covers being knocked askew. We all settled into Castle’s comfy little gift.

Fluttershy gathered the covers around her like a cocoon while Rainbow and Applejack nestled side by side at the corner. Rarity gathered the pillows I wasn’t using to lounge, and Pinkie shuffled in a couple circles before curling up like a cat, idly batting her tail. For my part, I simply laid back in the middle resting comfortably.

Morpheus remained by the door. “Perhaps ve should go…”

I rolled my eyes, and gestured him over. “My friends can’t get used to you if you avoid us. Come on! Breakfast was fine, wasn’t it?”

The prince’s eyes passed over my friends. “Perhaps. May ve at least don a disguise?”

Applejack arched her brow. “And what about that is honest?”

Morpheus licked his lips – possibly mandibles. Lips seemed more appropriate, but it suddenly seemed odd. Lips weren’t made of chitin. There were little clicks and clacks that came out simply from him standing and breathing. I hadn’t noticed them before. Nor had I noticed the flow of the many plates of chitin across his body. I could see many of them shifting with the various activities of muscle underneath – clinking like tiny typewriter keys to the movement. There was even a slight beat to the scratch-scratching that I could only assume was a heartbeat.

The beat sounded a little fast to me, but it wasn’t like I was even close to an expert on changeling biology.

It was just the tipping point in showing me the lengths ponies were willing to overlook things for the sake of avoiding something.

I had been trying to overcome the little bits of fear I felt around him by treating him as a pony, but he wasn’t a pony – or rather he was more than that. I could still see bits of pony mannerisms and behavior in him.

He was nervous. It was clear from how he timidly kicked the floor, and I saw it in the forced smile he was maintaining under my scrutiny. His ears were splayed slightly back, and there was a slight slump to his shoulders.

These were all things I had learned to spot since moving to Ponyville. I barely even noticed myself recognizing them anymore. It was almost automatic for me to respond, and that’s what I would have done before the Everfree.

Now I caught and processed that as he kicked the floor the holes in his foreleg clenched open and closed. Plates – or perhaps rods – clicked into and out of place. I had noticed how he had started shrinking his fangs when he smiled before, but it never occurred to me that the rest of his teeth elongated slightly. Faint swirls barely denoted what I assumed was the transfer of part of his fangs to the rest of his teeth. His ears were splayed, yet they lacked the flexibility of pony ears. Instead of a smooth curve, it was more appropriate to compare them to chitinous tubes locked into a joint made to mimic the motions.

The shoulders were surprisingly similar to ponies considering everything else honestly. It had a more inordinate number of plates working together – perhaps to coordinate a larger range of motion.

He was a pony, and yet he wasn’t.

The irony of how that sounded did not escape me.

“Are you giving me an answer anytime soon, Twilight?” His smile seemed slightly more forced since the last time I checked it.

I blinked. “Oh! Right. Sorry. I was just thinking about something.”

Rarity raised a forelimb to her muzzle and tittered. “I thought you didn’t want me playing matchmaker.”

I felt my cheeks flame hotter than the sun, and Morpheus coughed into his hoof. “I wouldn’t call it that. Such emotions have a rather… unique flavor. This was more like tasting a frog bathed in way too much orange-scented disinfectant. You know – the kind of curiosity that leads foals to pull the legs off ants or makes a scientist dissect a corpse.”

The tittering had stopped, and Rarity’s cheeks had turned green. “No, I didn’t know. Also, ew-ew-ew-ewww…”

The whimpering was joined by chuckling from Applejack and giggling from Pinkie. Rainbow half-heartedly followed, and Fluttershy just sat mortified at what I assumed was a mental image of foals needlessly picking legs off ants. She probably found the thought as horrifying as ponies kicking puppies.

I smiled, and shook my head. My cheeks were still rosy, but I could handle embarrassment from nerd humor. “Dissecting would only work if I have backup specimens. I wouldn’t want to risk a mistake when a live specimen can provide more data.” Cocking my head to the side, I looked at him. “Jokes aside, would wearing a disguise make you more comfortable?”

The prince’s eyes glazed over for a second. “Ve aren’t sure.”

His eyes refocused. “I think it might help though.”

I barely heard Applejack whispering to Rainbow. “He sure is an indecisive little feller. Five bits says he scampers off before the week is out.”

“He probably won’t make it a day if you volunteer to take him tomorrow. Make it ten and a bottle of Applejack.” Rainbow’s smirk was audible.

“Deal.”

I ignored them and waved Morpheus over again. “Come on then. I order you to wear the disguise of your choice for the night.”

As soon as I said the words, Morpheus slowly shook from the tips of his hind legs up to his flank. The almost violent vibrations traveled down his barrel, splitting down his forelegs and up his neck. When it reached his head, his eyes rolled back, and rich blue eyelids – for lack of a better term – slid over his eyes.

It ended as fast as it began, and he beat a hoof against his chest. “By the Azure Veil, Twilight, try not to do that. A disguise I want isn’t necessarily one that you approved, and conflicting clauses feel incredibly weird while they sort themselves out.”

“Sorry.” I grinned sheepishly while inwardly cringing. “I promise I’ll get better with it.”

“I need to…” I muttered to myself.

Snorting, he began shifting. His horn folded inwards to fit in a small nook in the plates on his forehead. Chitin flowed over and around him until cases were formed to allow his wings to rest against his back. The holes in his legs clicked close, and green fire consumed him briefly. Charcoal grey fur covered his body, and the teal mane was now lacking holes. Azure irises filled his eyes, and a cutie mark of a candle lit by a green flame was on his flank.

He was also definitely male this time.

It was my turn to snort. “I see you chose to disguise yourself as the most changeling-like pony possible. Any particular reason for that?”

He shrugged. “You still know it’s me. Ve thought you might think I was hiding something if ve choose somepony else.”

Tentatively moving to the corner farthest from everypony else, he hopped onto the bed. A slight tremor rocked Castle as he landed.

He wobbled slightly before settling. “I want it on the record that that wasn’t me. What’s about to follow probably is.”

The lights flickered, and the wall was suddenly painted in bright vibrant red. “Incoming solar flare. Brace for impact.”

The bedroom doors – made of crystal no less – almost broke out of their hinges from the force of Celestia opening it. Her mane was flaming, and her eyes were focused on Morpheus.

“Where is she? I order you to show me.”

He pointed meekly at me. “It’s definitely her. She’s already given me an order.”

The rest of my friends gazed on in an odd mix of awe and terror I knew only too well. It was quite flattering – if a little worrying – to hear the ‘To the sun’ voice being used in my honor.

The flames went out as Celestia sagged for a second, sighing. “Thank Faust.”

My friends scattered as Celestia leaped on the bed next to me – the bed groaning at the extra weight.

“What did you do?” I hissed to Morpheus as Celestia began to fuss over me like a mother hen – a very powerful mother hen whose crow actually raises the sun rather than the poor roosters who herald it.

The prince rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Would you accept ‘I told your mom that my mom found you alone in the middle of the woods’?”

Celestia glared at him. “You didn’t have to inform me with my least favorite pony from the Department of Taxes.”

The meekness disappeared behind a steely glare. “He was my best agent in Canterlot! Ve let you know he was there as a sign of good will. Do you know how hard it is to get an infiltrator that deep and keep him there, especially now? They’re meant for small surgical missions, not incredibly boring rants on taxes. He was suffering just as much as you whenever ve used him to distract you.”

My friends and I turned our heads between the princess and prince.

Celestia snorted in a manner quite unbefitting royalty while examining my wings. “You shouldn’t have agents here at all.”

Her magic fluxed for a second tickling them. I might have giggled if I hadn’t started hacking up my lungs.

Morpheus chuckled grimly. “And, if I hadn’t been able to set up a search party through the Hivemind, Twilight would still be in the Everfree. Mother only found her first because I appear to have some double agents in my ranks. I don’t know if I should be thankful or not. Ve started investigating the minute she told us who found her. The one agent who has confessed so far says she was farther in the forest than anyling was ordered to look.”

I sunk into my pillows. “There was a teleportation mishap…”

Celestia stared at Morpheus some more before settling next to me. “I expect a report on your agents identities and movements tomorrow.”

The prince rolled his eyes. “Of course you do. I’ll assume you’ll want the much more important details I’ve gathered on the other lords though. That’s more than half the reason I even have agents in Equestria. I’m sure reading about their insufferable games will make you feel right at home – as if they were your own nobles.”

“What a joy that will be.” The normal serene smile was back, but Celestia was using her ‘tolerate’ tone. She stressed certain sounds just slightly more. Not many ponies – even Celestia herself – noticed it, but I knew Morpheus was still walking on eggshells.

Granted, he probably knew that from sensing Celestia’s emotions, so I had no idea why he continued to poke a giant blazing ball of heavenly might with a very flammable stick.

He nodded, humming. “I don’t taste any cotton candy coming off you, but what do I know? I’m sure it’s possible somepony as ancient and wise as you has found a way to mask emotions. It’s odd that you don’t cover up the sour milk though.”

Celestia opened her mouth, but she was cut off as Morpheus shrugged. “Don’t worry. Almost all infiltrators get by scrounging up ambient love in the field, and you can’t stop any lords except me, so let it go. The other lords spy on you and me. Ve spy on you and the other lords. You get reports on my findings of the other lords and my own movements. Honestly, I was going to tell you sooner or later. Ve just needed a proper reason to stress the necessity to you.”

He grinned and momentarily let his fangs grow in. “And if any infiltrators are stupid enough not to follow the ambient emotion protocol, it’ll give me the perfect excuse to move on their lords.”

Celestia ruffled her wings before turning to me. “Fine.”

I never thought I’d need to add petulance to the list of ways I’ve seen Celestia talk.

Looking at me with the serene smile, I was almost willing to swear I hadn’t heard it. “Would you care to tell me what happened then, Twilight?”

Blinking slowly, I nodded. “Sure. I was just about to tell everypony when you–“

I coughed suddenly to cut off the first word that came to mind. It may or may not have involved flat bottomed ships that carry significant amounts of cargo. “I was just about to tell everypony when you came in.”

As everypony’s gaze finally settled on me, I gulped. “Alright, let’s begin with the most confusing part of the whole ordeal. We all know how much Chrysalis probably hates me for stopping the invasion. We’ve all met her briefly, and we’ve seen how nasty and manipulative she is.”

I glanced at Morpheus, and he shrugged. “Don’t expect me to defend her. Even if it was in my best interest, you aren’t exactly wrong. Mother is not a social butterfly.”

Rainbow snorted. “That’s putting it mildly.”

Applejack shushed her. “Hush, you. It’d be rude for him to insult family – even if it is truer than a possum doing more than just playing dead.”

I forced a smile, looking to the other girls for more positive support. “When Chrysalis found me, I wasn’t exactly as hunky-dory as you see me now.” I coughed again for several seconds, and stretched a bit to find a more comfortable position before continuing. “I was pretty much at death’s door, and I really don’t want to think about it right now, but it’s important I bring it up. Chrysalis didn’t just find me. She saved me.”

There was a sharp intake of breath from everypony before Rarity ventured a response. “Surely you jest, darling.”

I shook my head. “Nope. Don’t get me wrong though. She was anything but pleasant about it. She taunted me, and said some rather provocative things, but in the end she saved me.”

Morpheus cocked his head to the side. “Now when you say she saved you–”

“There was a direct transfer of harvested love energy.” I responded before the question could probe too deeply.

It was enough though. He hung his head in his hooves groaning. “Mother…why do you do these things?” Soon he slammed his head into the bed, and we heard a very muffled scream of frustration.

When he surfaced his eyes were glassy. “Please tell us the method of enzyme transfer. Ve’d really like to know that mother does not need to answer to certain crimes – felonies which ve’d really rather not name.”

Everypony else glanced at me with bafflement.

I scrambled for a nerdy enough answer to not die of embarrassment at the one part I didn’t want everyone to know. “Lingual lipase was exchanged.”

He paused scrunching up his face like his next words physically pained him. “Frontal or rear input method?”

It was my turn to scream into the bed. I was glad it hid my blush. “Frontal. Now can we please drop it?”

Celestia raised a knowing eyebrow while the others continued to remain puzzled. Of course my millenia old mentor could read the undertone like a book. I thanked the Sun – which was appropriate I suppose – that she knew me enough to decide dropping it was best. She probably expected a more private letter on it though.

My other friends weren’t that wise

“Any idea what they’re talking about, sugarcube?”

“Beats me. Egghead stuff probably. You heard Twilight’s answer.”

Pinkie was counting on her hooves as if it were a math problem, and Fluttershy darted her eyes between everypony.

“Enzyme exchange… Why does that sound familiar? Which book was it?” It was surprisingly Rarity who suddenly wrinkled her face in realization. “Ew-ew-ew-ew-eww! She kissed you like the mad scientist in Eternal Singularity? Eww!”

I hung my head in my hooves, groaning. “Of course there’s bound to be at least one trashy romance novel that phrases it like that. Where did you even find a book that far down the rabbit hole of the genre, Rarity?”

Rarity gave a half-smile as the rest of my friends started choking on air. “You gave it to me when you realized it wasn’t non-fiction on black holes. I believe you said, ‘I don’t want that filth in my library.’”

Another scream into the bed later, and I was avoiding looking at anypony directly. “Alright. Now that we’ve all suffered through the awkwardness – and I’m the hollow shell of the first mare to die from embarrassment – can we please drop it?”

My friends nodded.

Morpheus opened his mouth.

“Don’t you dare ask me anything else about it,” I snapped. “We might find out if you like chains as much as your mom.”

Both our pupils widened at my statement, and our faces crashed into the mattress in unison.

“Please don’t remind me of mother’s rather… exotic tastes.” Morpheus groaned looking up from a solid minute of muffled yelling. I had been starting to wonder if he would ever surface for air.

“Speak for yourself.” I snarked. “I had almost forgotten that comment of hers on my brother.”

I shook my head and forced myself to look at everypony. “Anyways – before this gets anymore awkward – let’s get back to the real matter at hand. No matter how she did it, Chrysalis saved me. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling at least part of it might be the prince here.”

Morpheus scoffed, and I studied him for a second – head tilted – before continuing. “We can puzzle that out later though. Chrysalis saving me is something we can count as a blessing, even if it is confusing.”

I shivered slightly at the moment of truth. I didn’t have to tell Celestia the changeling detection spell was no longer a reliable option in front of my friends. It was nice to enjoy their support. I didn’t want to lie to them like before though, and if that meant repeating last night’s changeling scare I was ready for it.

I opened my mouth only to hesitate and close it. I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready at all.

But it wasn’t about me.

“Chrysalis has found a way to fool the changeling detection spell.”

There was silence – a good half minute of silence.

“By the Hive, the reports were true then.” Morpheus’ pupils had dilated. His breathing was coming faster. Looking to Celestia, he stammered. “Y-you have to realize ve can’t do that. N-none of us can! It shouldn’t be possible. If it was, I never would have been able to get the other lords to follow me. If they find out and figure out how to replicate it, I won’t be able to stop anything that happens.”

He jumped off the bed and began pacing. “Tell me you have something to deal with this Celestia. You’re the Hive-blasted sun goddess. You better have a way to deal with it, because this lines up with all of our worst projections.”

“Calm yourself, Morpheus.” Celestia intoned.

Morpheus snorted. “Calm? You want calm? It’s a little late for calm! My emotional dam has burst, and a sea of sour flows forth only to flow back in and repeat the process. It’s a giant feedback loop of incredible proportions, and your confusion at my rambling is not helping me think logically!”

Like the night before, a butter yellow bullet shot towards him. It’s incredible how fast Fluttershy is when somepony needs a hug.

Celestia murmured to me while keeping an eye on Morpheus. “Do you think you can find another spell?”

I shook my head. “Maybe. I’ll definitely need to work for awhile with Morpheus to do it though. Please don’t blame him for this.”

Celestia stared at the prince neutrally. “Are you sure?”

I nodded. “Morpheus is genuine about wanting to try for peace. I believed that before today’s incident and facing Chrysalis only strengthened that belief. I don’t know about any other changelings, but I know we should at least try to trust him.”

Celestia gave an almost inaudible sigh. “Morpheus, how many harvesters – or whatever you needed – would be required to extend the point of no return on extinction to a year instead of a six months?”

The prince’s head slowly grated around like a rusty clock to lock onto the princess. “How can you even ask that right now?”

“Planning has higher priority than panicking at the moment. Twilight says she can make a spell, but it’ll take a while. If that means giving you more time to make sure we can develop a counterspell, so be it. Do not shun this generous concession.” Celestia’s mask of tranquility had no cracks.

Morpheus’ mask was nowhere near as lucky. “And how do we even know that is Twi–“

I flinched at both his unfinished sentence and the very loud clatter of a hoof meeting chitin at near sonic speeds. Morpheus fell out of Fluttershy’s grip to the floor with a quivering Rainbow Dash above her.

“Dude.” The force of her wings flapping kept a small breeze circulating the room. “You so did not just go there when Twilight defended you to both the princess and us.”

She pointed to me. “She is Twilight.”

Swooping down, she stared right into the prince’s eyes. “The rest of us were probably ready to throw you out the minute she told us what Chrysalis could do. If I learned anything from Twilight rambling on last night though, it’s that a changeling would have done that too. It’s safe, cowardly, and the most plausible route to take – whatever the hay that means.”

“She stood up for you though. You should buckin’ believe in her like you told us to.”

She turned and slapped him with her tail on the way out.

“Loyal my flank.”

There was silence again of a different kind.

Eventually I broke it. “Could you all leave me and Morpheus alone for a second?”

My friends’ cries of protest were drowned by Celestia’s response. “Of course, my faithful student and friend.” She looked meaningfully at the others. “We would love to. I’m sure we all need to get going anyways. Simply send me the report on Morpheus’ agents and his requirements for our concession in the morning.”

The remaining girls grumbled as they followed the princess out. Applejack in particular was glaring at Morpheus with an intensity I had never seen before.

I struggled out of bed, and shambled towards the unmoving pony on the floor.

Morpheus had stayed on the floor since Rainbow had hit him – his eyes beyond glassy and straight into shattered windows that looked into the voids of space. As I approached, he shed his disguise, and I found those eyes were hidden behind an impenetrable wall of azure blue. His mouth opened and closed a few times, but nothing came out.

Finally, he managed a hoarse whisper I could barely understand. A hoarse buzz is not a very comprehensible buzz.

The stutter made it worse.

“I-I’m sorry…”

I shook my head, picking him up. Making sure none of the others were watching through the doorway – because stars forbid the ideas Rarity would get – I hugged him.

“It’s alright. They made the same mistake yesterday, and now – thanks to you – I know it didn’t happen again.”

Letting him go I limped towards the door.

“We all have things to learn here – be it friendship lessons or scientific discoveries – and I, for one, am up for an all-night study session. It has to be at least midnight outside given how dark it is out the window. I couldn’t have been lost that long, so a good six or so hour nap means I’m all set for a proper binge. You coming?”

I looked back to see Morpheus staring at me. Without saying a word, he slowly rose to follow me.

I fell asleep before making it past the first page.

I woke up after noon the next day – in bed, confined to a very restricting yet incredibly cozy blanket cocoon.

In that cocoon, the day would be spent relaxing in bed when I wasn’t futilely trying to free myself from the blasted thing. The forest must have left me more tired than I thought, because it didn’t actually occur to me to teleport out of it for at least an hour. Even when I thought of it, I just got Castle to bring me books and snacks. Only a trip to the little fillies room finally drew me from my silken prison.

Morpheus, on the other hoof, had gotten up before the crack of dawn to accept a challenge Applejack and Rainbow Dash didn’t even realize they had made.

Honest Acceptance (Morpheus) Part 2

Honest Acceptance (Morpheus) Part 1

Changing Times’ Notes: I ask that you pardon me for the lies of omission within my last notes, but it's a habit I find myself using more and more as I mingle with my changeling friends – although they would probably use the term bluff, suggestion, or implication rather than lie.

As you may have gathered, the princess named her report not just for her friends’ reactions, but for how it reflected the many reactions various individuals had to Morpheus' plan. I felt it was best, however, that you experienced Chrysalis without my own thoughts on the matter – at least the first time. I could not warn you without tarnishing your initial impression with my own. For that, I apologize.

It was only recently that the changelings pointed out to me that we ponies lie through omission constantly – almost without realizing it. There are places it stands out to us, and that’s where we feel it to be wrong, yet some of us do it just as much as any changeling without even thinking about it. We hear the changelings speak of such lies so casually and assume they are all deceptive and manipulative. I think the truth is that they are simply more aware of such twists in wordplay. Where we stumble through lies blindly, they consider such statements carefully like moves to a game of chess.

Perhaps that is why they detest the word lie. It is the easy way out, and there is no weight to such statements.

Honest Acceptance: A Report by Morpheus of House Sycadia

Ponies view changelings as creatures of deceit and treachery. This stance is quite understandable given how most lords have used their powers for the last several millennia. The truth, however, is that honesty and loyalty are just as admirable traits to the common changeling as they are to ponies. We may express them differently, but that does not make us dishonest or disloyal.

Perhaps that is why I took Applejack and Rainbow Dash’s bet to heart. They thought I wouldn’t last a day on the farm, and I was determined to prove them wrong.

I doubt they meant me to hear their words, but it certainly struck a chord within me. We are supposed to guide the Hive by example, but most lords would laugh at the concept of doing a day of menial labor. Performing the work of a common changling would be far beneath someone of their status.While they wouldn’t be so bold as to lie when delegating the task to those beneath them, the way other lords would flippantly abuse their power to avoid such a task feels dishonest to me. They take the loyalty of their subjects for granted with no thought of returning that precious gift.

That was why I arose before dawn the next day to head out to the farm.

It was murder pulling myself from the bed, but I had a lot to do today. Reviewing our calculations from the night before, I smiled.

The analysts were still scrambling to deal with the upset mother had caused, but ve had run some rough simulations for the report Celestia wanted while ve slept. The simulations had given us the small – but appreciable – number of about five-hundred harvesters to postpone the point of no return on extinction. It wasn’t that much considering our goal of ten-thousand, but it gave us precious time.

In addition, ve had calculated an appropriate spread for the harvesters across the Equestrian population, and some digging had uncovered a number of appropriate aliases and identities from around one-hundred and fifty years ago. They were close enough to modern times to require only moderate tweaking and should have pre-existing records on the Equestrian side to easily falsify a family history and any necessary legal documents.

That was assuming any falsification was needed. Ve had no idea when Celestia was going to officially announce attempts at peace, but even after last night I seemed to still be nothing more than a test run.

I stretched the kinks from my chitin, and tentatively began to shift into a disguise. When the physical warning signs of a pending breach of contract didn’t appear, I shifted into the disguise from the previous night.

Ve had wondered how the conflicting clauses from last night would resolve themselves, and it seemed the answer was that disguise permission was both prioritized and retroactive. By ordering me to use the disguise I wanted, the Contract had decided that Twilight had implicitly given general permission for me to use the disguise before the order had taken effect.

Grabbing a quill and some parchment I began to write orders for the day.

My first thought as I penned my report to Celestia was that quills continued to taste awful.

The second was that my mouthwriting was still atrocious.

The quill tickled my muzzle as my sigh flowed around it, and I tossed the parchment away before shifting back. Grabbing a new sheet, I levitated the quill and began the report again.

Finishing it, I next wrote the orders for the agents delivering it. Surprise breakfast in bed for Celestia seemed as good an excuse as any for catching the diarch alone, and – committing the image of both items to memory – ve scrambled and stored them in the Hivemind.

A flick of magic sent the appropriate coordinates and decryption method to my agents in Canterlot. Another flick burned the parchment I no longer needed.

Setting my quill down, ve began to examine the analysts’ web of probability in more detail. While it wasn’t completely finished yet – it hadn’t been more than half an hour since ve checked upon waking – ve could still run some calculations on our own on how to deal with mother.

I licked my lips as ve ruminated. The aftertaste of quill in my mouth doggedly remained at the threshold of sensation – distracting me.

“Castle, are you awake?” I looked to the walls around me tentatively. Ve weren’t sure if genii loci slept. Ve were even less sure that a genius loci was the correct term for what exactly Castle was. It was the closest label ve had found in the Hivemind though.

Closing my eyes and counting to three, I opened them to find another parchment and quill wet with ink.

“I am always awake and watching. –Friendship Castle”

I chuckled. “And they call changelings creepy. Regardless, could you grab me a cup of juice?”

The lights winked out briefly, and the tinkling of glass signaled my drink. I tentatively sipped and thrummed at the flavor of orange and mango. Picking up the quill again, ve went back to making projections and calculations.

“Thank you, Castle. Ve’re heading out in a bit. Ve assume that since you’re ‘always watching’ you saw our disguise for the day earlier. Can you please tell Twilight that if she needs us today ve’ll be at Sweet Apple Acres in that guise? There was a bet she may or may not have heard last night between Applejack and Rainbow Dash, and ve intend to deliver.”

The usual flicker of darkness responded, and the ink on Castle’s parchment was rearranged.

“I’ll have you know that I have enough decency to give ponies privacy when it matters. I cannot promise not to feel things though. Changeling fire feels downright itchy, and I swear Rainbow Dash and Applejack form craters whenever they sneak off from the others. I’m still cleaning the backup kitchen from their last romp.”

I rubbed my eyes. “Even as someling who lives for information, that’s something I didn’t need to know. Did you or did you not see my designated disguise for the day?”

“Yes. Yes, I did. Also, you were the one wondering about the amount of whipped cream on the shopping list the other day. What did you think it was for?”

I shuddered. “Once again, that was too much information.”

Picking my quill back up, I quickly penned the orders for my agents outside of Canterlot. I couldn’t have any more of my agents tail mother directly without arising suspicion, but I could indirectly spy on her more by having my infiltrators shadowing the other lord’s spies. It was of the utmost importance that I sabotage their efforts while finding out exactly what mother was doing.

Encrypting the orders again, I burned the parchment as I trotted to the door. I shifted back into the earth pony guise from last night, and I grabbed some of the honey drops from yesterday in case I needed a snack.

The walk to the entrance hall was quiet and tranquil. Opening my senses, I let my filter drop somewhat, and I savored the taste of honey steeped tea and dry desert air that was present in the castle. Love and loneliness as always, yet I no longer needed a filter twenty-four seven.

Ve weren’t sure how much was Castle feeling better versus how much was us acclimating to the emotion-rich environment, but progress was progress – for both of us.

Other smells, sounds, and sights danced at the edge of my heightened perception as Castle took to doing things he thought necessary. What had been barren crystal halls when I first arrived were now adorned with paintings or bookshelves or other items meant to appeal to passerby. I could hear the grating of stone from shifting rooms and furniture – although the shifting stopped whenever I actively payed attention – and I could smell the kitchens cooking. Hive knew why he was so active, but ve figured Castle knew what he was doing.

I finally reached the entrance only to feel a spike in the taste of lonely desert air. For a brief moment I was wandering the dunes back home, and I sighed. I promised myself to play a game with Castle later – perhaps another round of Swindler’s Chess.

The castle doors slowly shut behind me, and – with the position of the last few remaining stars in the sky – ve calculated the trajectory I needed to follow based on an old Hivemind map.

The market was eerily silent as I strolled by empty stalls. Despite the first come first serve nature, the early hour meant not even the most ambitious vendors had arrived. Only the occasional rodent skittered in the darkness. In any normal town that would mean rats, but here it was surprisingly mostly bunnies that were scrounging for food.

They stared from the shadows with beady eyes as I passed, and ve had to wonder how ponies could possibly find them cute. The little wafts of bitter hostility their unevolved brains were giving off clearly suggested that they were all little monsters.

As if to prove our point, a nearby bunny gave a very unrabbitlike hiss when I got too close to a carrot that had fallen on the ground. Putting on a slight burst of speed, I cut to the right and entered the park to circle around the market. The market clearly wasn’t safe to travel at this hour.

The faint sound of music reached my ears as my hooves hit the grass. Curious as to who would be playing this early, ve adjusted course slightly. It was still on our way to Applejack’s, and it couldn’t hurt to look.

A mint green unicorn was playing the lyre on a park bench. Her mane was relatively short and scruffy, streaked with aqua and white. Her tail was similarly unkempt, and it was colored much the same. A cutie mark of a lyre decorated her flanks.

Her eyes were closed in quiet contemplation, and she sat in the most peculiar position with her back resting against the bench and her hind legs dangling over the edge. Rather than plucking the lyre with her telekinesis, she was cradling it in her fore hooves playing it much like an earth pony would.

She was an oddity and outlier in every way – location, time, behavior, and even emotion. In fact, her emotions were the strangest peculiarity. There were barely any to perceive, only the barest trace of water from a pure glacial spring.

There was no true flavor, but the smooth flowing chill was refreshing and invigorating rather than frigid and cold. She was a pure font of contentment – chill and moving slowly to savor the moment.

Underlying that pure, sweet water, however, was an even fainter hint of lemons. It was a tiny drop of trepid curiosity added to the mix that had no reason to be there.

Anomalies need to be understood. To understand an anomaly, ve first need data points. Ve did not have time to collect data points right now though. Thus ve forced myself to walk on by, sparing the mare only a couple of glances.

She didn’t acknowledge us as I passed. Her hooves continued to dance across the strings as she wove a simple melody. Ve soldiered on, refusing to sate our curiosity.

It was only when I was beyond the range of hearing – standard pony hearing that is – that she muttered under her breath. “Curious little changeling says what?”

Our response was to fall right into the trap.

“What?”

I spun around, and felt the mares emotions flare – more like flow – as I recognized the lowering of an emotional filter.

The mare gave a lazy smile, opening her eyes. She continued to caress the lyre gently. The song shifted from simple practice to an old and forgotten song – forgotten by ponies at least.

“The old man was right, as always.” Her words were drawn out yet playful – much like a pleasing legato melody. She slowly teased meaning from every word. “He figured you’d bite off more than you could chew and head straight for Applejack. I should expect it by now, but the old geezer has gotta slip up sometime.”

“Who are you?” While the mare – changeling – in front of me continued to lower her filter, I was tripping over myself in a rush to get mine fortified.

“Aww… Don’t shut me out.” A pout and puppy dog eyes adorned her face. “I’m a friend – nothing more or less. If you want my advice, you should start with Pinkie Pie. The only way you’re going to get through to Applejack or Rainbow Dash is if you prove yourself to the others first.”

Ve felt her tentatively shifting her emotions. What started a simple taste evolved into a full experience as her chill contentment flowed around me like a gentle stream.

I ignored the consoling gesture. I didn’t want a heart-to-heart with a changeling ve knew nothing about.

She studied my stony face for a few seconds before sighing. “And here I was hoping the old man was wrong about just how bad it is in the motherland. Well… if it helps, my pony name is Lyra.”

It didn’t help. Twilight had mentioned a pony named Lyra when talking about Bon Bon. It seemed ve had made an error in our assumptions, but that still told us nothing about who this changeling was.

“Ve take it you feed off Bon Bon then.” A small, quick shapeshift forced my vocal chords to sound monotone. “Ve’re curious as to why you would be giving the honey away though. Your Lord would probably kill you if he saw how much concentrated love was in that candy shop."

Hooves danced over strings in a brief staccato of plucks to match her tittering. “Oh, you poor thing. You think I’m just another lord’s pawn, but my family’s been living in Equestria for at least a thousand years. I love Bon Bon and she loves me. That’s really all there is to it – unless you count our double lives as a changeling and ex-secret agent.”

I rubbed my temples. She certainly didn’t sound like a standard changeling from the Hive. She was talking more like a pony. It could have easily been an act though.

“Changelings don’t just abandon the hive like that, and if they do even the somewhat decent lords would probably make a graphic example of them. You seriously expect us to believe you aren’t working for another lord?”

She smiled lazily again. “Well… Gramps was a little lordling when he left – fresh out of the Chrysalling. The other lords didn’t take kindly to his father’s proposal that we try and broker peace, so they exiled the entire house without food or water expecting it to starve. A lot of lings did, but we managed to survive and thrive once we got here. I’m his great-great-great-so-many-greats-that-it-hurts granddaughter.”

Our mind was flashing through the history section of the archives as she continued to play.

“You won’t find anything in there~ The lords took each and every care~” Her legato voice became staccato for a second as she sung.

Ve glared at her. “Ve find it hard to believe that anyling would tamper with the archives – if that is indeed what you’re suggesting. There are some lines even the more dubious lords don’t cross.”

She shrugged. “If you want to believe that, then fine. But is it more likely that you’re the only changeling lord to ever want peace, or is it more likely that you weren’t the first and all the others were purposely erased from history?”

“Considering the lack of any precedent–” ve began.

“Considering the probability of only one ling like you ever existing – despite the uncountable billions that have lived and died over our species history…” she countered.

Ve thought about the odds. “Point. And the fact that you saved Applejack...wait, you were the one who did that, right?”

She nodded.

Ve tilted our head. “Alright then, ve will give you the benefit of the doubt for now – provided you come to the castle and talk to Twilight and us tomorrow. Convince both of us that you aren’t a threat, and you might be able to stay.”

It was a statement of generous implication, but ve didn’t have the authority to guarantee that she could stay. Ve didn’t promise she could, however. Ve only said that she might be able to. She knew that as well as ve.

“If you’ll excuse us, ve have another matter to attend to now.” It was a bit rude perhaps, but ve didn’t want to deal with the changeling in front of me right now. It would be far better to digest what she was claiming before getting invested in the details.

As I turned to go, she called out one last time. “Go on then. Gramps said you probably wouldn’t have time to talk, but I wanted to meet you anyways. I’ll be at the castle tomorrow around seven, and I’ll bring the old geezer too. Just tell Sparkles not to freak when the walking dead show up.”

I paused. “Do ve want to know what that meant?”

I could hear the grin in her response. “Nah. That would ruin the surprise for her. She might panic a bit at first, but I promise there’s a significant chance Sparkles will be jumping for joy when she gets over it.”

I finally arrived at Sweet Apple Acres to find ve had made a few mistaken assumptions. Just because farmers were stereotyped to get up and out in the fields before dawn didn’t mean it was literally true.

The orchard was currently deserted. Moving silently through the trees, ve soon came upon the Apple family home and the reason why.

The unmistakable smell of breakfast filled the air as I approached the homestead. The Apples were up all right, but they were enjoying a little time together before starting all their hard work.

Moving near the house was like walking into molasses – so heavy was the love in the air. The taste of honey and apple pie added to the heady scent of pancakes, causing my heart to feel hollow and my stomach to growl. There was more to it though. Comfort foods of all kinds trickled through the love, and for a moment images of mother flashed before my eyes. I brushed them away as fast as I could and strengthened my filter slightly. I didn’t need to see those memories. The few good ones I had of mother were far outweighed by the bad.

I made it to the front door and knocked. A slight scuffling of chairs ensued, and the sound of heavy hooves signaled the approach of somepony. The door opened to reveal the largest earth pony I had ever seen in the flesh.

He stared down at me – something I wasn’t used to even in pony form. His silent judgement made us start running the math on how much pressure he’d need to exert to squash me like a bug. The answer was in no way reassuring.

I stood there fidgeting until it became clear he wasn’t going to talk.

Clearing my throat, I tried not to stutter. “H-hello. Is Applejack home?”

Honest Acceptance (Morpheus) Part 3

Honest Acceptance (Morpheus) Part 2

The stallion known as Big Macintosh was stoic. His emotions were carefully guarded, and his laconic gaze somehow said everything and nothing.

It might, in fact, be better to describe him by his response to our query rather than any long, torturous, description ve can come up with.

An “Eeyup,” and a lazy nod confirmed Applejack was indeed at home. The stallion’s face held a bland, almost apathetic expression, but ve saw the hidden gears turning behind his mask as he stood in the doorway. Quiet eyes took a measure of me most changelings take years to learn without Hivemind guidance, yet slowly roved in careful observation of his whole environment – barn, road, pony at the door, orchard, morning weather....

Ve waited in awkward silence for some larger form of response. When it was clear none was forthcoming, I took the initiative. “M-may I speak with her?”

Another few seconds of standing in the giant’s shadow earned me a response. “Maybe.”

The stallion – Big Mac ve learned through a quick glance in the Hivemind – turned and strolled inside. Ve stood in the doorway, unsure if permission to enter had been granted or not.

When our greeter stopped and turned around at the end of the hallway, ve saw the gears turning again, and I quickly stepped in so as not to keep him waiting. He turned right into what smelled like the kitchen, and I trotted after him.

The kitchen was small, but cozy. A simple wood stove stood in the corner with a number of pantries and cupboards surrounding it. They were all well-worn with age, and – while it would take a few more generations – they were approaching that rare state that comes from oversaturating an item with emotions. Someday that little stove would be a Harvester’s dream – cooking love right into the food so they wouldn’t need to rely on direct feeding as much.

On the other side of the kitchen was a small circular table laden with the most heavenly pancakes I had ever smelled. Ve placed them in the top ten – although all the other cooks who came close were long dead.

The Apple family plus a cyan extra were quite sensibly inhaling the pancakes as fast as possible. It was fascinating to watch the gusto with which they tore into their food.

Rainbow’s presence was unfortunate for our plans but not unexpected. Ve started recalculating our approach to account for her more sensitive attitude. With a fuse as short as hers, ve’d need to take extra care to not appear too confrontational.

Predictably, Rainbow and Applejack halted as I entered the room, and the sticky-sweet honey in the air suddenly had a bitter aftertaste.

“What’s somepony like you doing here?” The farmer’s eyebrow arched.

That was the cue for the rest of the Apple Family to stop, and I could feel the weight of Big Mac’s gaze increase at his sister’s tone.

Pinkie Promise indeed. She was going to give everything away if she wasn’t careful. Ve didn’t care how binding Twilight claimed a Pinkie Promise to be. In the end it was just words between friends. It’s not like there would be any long lasting consequences.

“You could lose a friend for-EVER! Ever… Ever… Ever… Cookie… Ever…” An explosion of cotton candy colored fur shot out of the oven as Pinkie’s tracer from the day before suddenly jumped from several miles in town to right next to me. I barely had time to react to the Pink Menace before she was gone – diving back into the oven as she mumbled something about needing to fix her echo again.

Earth ponies do not teleport. This is a fact. This is a very important fact, and ve focused on it in a desperate attempt to quell my racing heart. The idea of those reports of the Anomaly teleporting actually being true was too terrible to contemplate. There would be no safety from her unbridled, sugary elation, powerful enough to intoxicate even an unwilling Lord.

“Applejack…?”

I was broken from my inner mantra of ‘Earth ponies do not teleport,’ by Big Mac’s inquiry.

“Don’t you worry about it none, Big Mac. Ah’ll tell ya if Ah need to, Pinkie Promise or not, but not until Ah need to.” Applejack waved him back to the table before returning to glaring at me. “So, care to explain why yer here?”

Ve suppressed the urge to shrink back, weighing our words until ve were sure ve wouldn’t stutter. “There’s not much to say. I heard your little bet with Rainbow last night while we were all at Twilight’s.”

Orange juice dominated the emotional smorgasbord coming from the rest of the Apple family, and I savored their fresh curiosity at our response. Curiosity was always a favorite of mine, and a nibble here or there would – at most – make the rest of the family find the conversation less interesting.That would be a convenient bonus.

Ve gestured to myself. “I admit I may not look as hale and hearty as the average Ponyvillian, but I assure you I could at least last a day on the farm.”

That was a loaded sentence if there ever was one. Ve had kept my tone measured and cultured – a clear sign of high society and upbringing. Combine that with the slightest upturning of the snout, and to the rest of the family we were the picture of a standard Canterlot snob who didn’t know any better.

To Rainbow and Applejack, however, it was a clear challenge. They knew I wasn’t just some random Canterlot noble. Ve could already taste the flickering flames of righteous anger. They were hot and spicy, yet only small embers amidst kindling.

“How about we turn that bet from a two-way street to a three-way?”

Canterlot – in all its glory – still had a more down to earth, if seedier, section. With a slight slip in accent and proper eye contact, ve went from snobby noble to just another pony in the eyes of the rest of the family. Ve came off as another Rarity: somepony with a need to keep up appearances whenever possible.

Only Applejack and Rainbow Dash knew how true that really was.

That fanned the Elements’ anger from embers into sparks, but that was exactly what ve needed. The funny thing about anger – about all emotions really – is how interconnected it is. Context is just as important to the one feeling the emotion as it is to the one reading it.

A little push in the right direction and joy can become anger.

Anger can become fear.

Fear can become loathing.

And loathing had put all of us on the precipice of extinction.

I wasn’t following in the footsteps of Mother or the rest of the Hive though.

Spitting into my hoof, I held it out. “What say you to starting fresh? I make it through a day on the farm, and you give me a fair shot instead of the cold shoulder.”

That got the desired result. Latent fury transformed into a healthy competitive drive. The sensation of flames on my metaphorical tongue was cooler yet with a long lasting spicy aftertaste. Bitterness still abounded, but a tempered flame was better than the uncontrolled firestorm from yesterday.

They weren’t ones to turn down a chance to crush a potential rival no matter who he was, and that was going to be our way in.

The family matron – Granny Smith her file claimed – chuckled. “And you had me worried that some highfalutin fellow was putting the moves on our little Twilight with how you were ranting yesterday. Mighty strange though, Ah thought you were a pink pegasus…”

Thankfully a green blush can also be mistaken as nausea. Ve really needed to remember to shift blood color.

“Snow Flurry and I are what you might call distant family. We’re so far removed from Twilight as to not actually be related, but we are family none the less.” It was a technicality, but, even if one had to trace it all the way back to the primordial sludge from which life began, it was true.

Applejack frowned, but she didn’t say anything. She might not like our methods, but she probably disliked that particular rumor even more, given what it could evolve into.

Granny Smith cackled. “Ah see. Nice to see some city folks take family as important as any Apple. It don’t matter how far removed you are. Kin is kin.”

Ve wisely kept my mouth shut on the Canterlot nobles and their obsession with genealogy and bloodlines.

Rainbow stood up. “You know, I should really get going. I can get my work done in ten seconds flat and be back to help.”

Her smile was forced for the most part, but it briefly flickered into the genuine thing as she plucked a feather from her wing and stuck it in Applejack’s mane.

I internally smiled at the surge of honey in the air. It seemed our little mistake was healing quickly with no lasting damage – for them that is. The acrid emotions cutting into my heart were all ve needed to know what the couple thought of me.

As Rainbow left, ve continued to stand there with my hoof covered in my own spit. It was actual pony saliva too. It would have been utterly embarrassing to literally cement our agreement with Applejack. Changeling saliva makes for excellent caulking but poor hoofshakes.

Applejack finally snorted at my refusal to back down and got up to meet me. “Alright, you’re on, but we’re doing honest to goodness applebucking. Don’t think you can get away with doing the easy chores.”

Saliva covered hoof met saliva covered hoof, and I allowed my fangs to show through in a grin only Applejack could see.

Applejack and Rainbow Dash weren’t the only ones who enjoyed a challenge, after all.

Ve closed our eyes to get a better feel for the tree. Drawing together a pool of my limited earth pony magic, I stopped as I felt the tingle that was the contract’s warning. Taking deep breaths ve sent the magic out in waves. With each exhale it traveled down my hooves and pulsed outward – barely reaching the tree in front of us. With each inhale the magic returned – rising up my hooves back to the core of our being.

Each pulse fed us an incredible amount of information upon return ‒ an overwhelming amount for those who didn’t practice regularly. Everything the wave interacted with changed its shape in some minute way – Applejack, the barrels beneath the tree, even every blade of grass. Only by sorting through all those changes could we isolate those of the tree.

As ve readjusted to the influx of new information our breathing normalized. The tremor sense was not a magical muscle I flexed often, and ve were starting to think that was a mistake on my part.

Ve were dealing with a crop of Twenty Ouncers, clearly chosen for their incredible weight. As the name implied, they were commonly more than a pound apiece. Ve wouldn’t last a day hauling those back to the barn. However, with careful study ve could potentially do the applebucking, if not the heavy lifting involved in carting the apples to storage.

“Standing there ain’t gonna buck any apples, partner.” Applejack’s drawl washed over us but didn’t break our concentration.

Ve ignored her and walked down the first row of the orchard. A larger sample size was needed to determine the general area of the antinode – that unique sweet spot guaranteed to resonate fully with a pony’s buck.

All the trees in the row were in relatively equal health. Their growth rate and general structure were similar enough. The same amount of love had been poured into raising them, and an even amount of magic had encouraged their growth. There were no favorites or outliers I could see.

That was good. Less disparity meant it was safer to work under the assumption that there actually was a general area I could narrow my search down to for future trees. Individual differences did occur – as was bound to happen – but there seemed to be enough commonality for us to focus on an area slightly to the left of the center of each tree’s trunk.

That was where ve needed to strike.

Ve’d need to correct on a case by case basis of course, but quick small pulses were perfect for such a job. Ve needed accuracy here, not a general acre-wide awareness.

Applejack stomped a hoof in impatience, and I felt the incredible wellspring of her magic radiate into the earth and up my legs. It was like watching a live volcano with my tremor sense.

Unlike my own carefully controlled and conserved stock of earth pony magic, hers kept pouring into the planet causing the plants near her to flare with life – whether she knew it or not. As her magic settled and cooled, it built up on herself and everything around her. The entire farm was nurtured and protected from the run off, while Applejack herself was a towering mountain of strength and heartiness years in the making.

Meanwhile I was stuck with my pitiful oscillating rhythm in what was clearly a one sided competition. Not that I literally needed to keep up with Applejack to win the bet – only survive a day – but earning any sort of respect from her would help.

Thus ve decided a demonstration was needed to tip circumstances in our favor.

Holding out a hoof ve shushed Applejack’s complaints – which hadn’t ceased although ve’d tuned them out a while ago. “Be quiet and let me concentrate. You’ve been working these fields all your life. It’s only fair I get a feel for them myself.”

Setting a hoof on each tree as I walked back along the row, ve narrowed the general area ve needed to focus on further, picking out each resonant point for this row in particular. Reaching the end of the row, I kept my eyes closed and said one word.

“Watch.”

Ve started the simulation ve’d prepared, and matched my body’s movements to the ones our simulation drew out upon our mental map of the row.

I turned and kicked the first tree in the spot our calculations claimed was best.

Fruit rained into the baskets, but I couldn’t stay to check for completion. It would ruin the illusion if I stopped to wait for the apples to fall. Sprinting from tree to tree I repeated the process without giving a thought to the trees behind or the farmer watching. At every tree another pulse allowed me to quickly correct for the physical error between my performance and our simulation.

Only when I reached the final tree in the row did I pause to catch my breath.

Turning, I opened my eyes to view my hoofwork. It was acceptable. There were clearly a few minor errors, but error was to be expected. Most of the fruit was out of this particular row, and I paused on my way back to Applejack to knock the last few fruits free wherever I’d made a mistake. The farmer and Rainbow Dash – who I hadn’t see arrive – were staring slack jawed at me.

“Well Ah’ll be darned,” said Applejack. “Ah sure as hay wasn’t expecting that.” She sheepishly rubbed the back of her head, and I shrugged.

“That’s what I can do when I have time to prepare. I can clear the rest of the field without issue, but only if I don’t have to lug the apples back and forth.” I wriggled my rather thin limbs at them self-deprecatingly. “I’m not exactly strong. I just know where to buck.”

“Bull.” Rainbow snorted after finally composing herself. “That had to have been a fluke.”

I shrugged again. Applebucking wasn’t exactly her chosen profession, although it’d be incredibly annoying if ve had to figure out how to beat her in a flying contest. She had both speed and agility. There probably wasn’t a contest of her choice ve could beat her at.

Technically, ve couldn’t beat Applejack either, only do some of her job a different way. The fact ve could do so in such an impressive manner didn’t really matter when one considered the results of Applejack’s own work. All the flare ve’d used here wouldn’t hold up if I was shouldered with the entirety of the farmer’s workload. Hence our gamble of admitting that I couldn’t handle the carrying part, but could handle the applebucking itself.

Ve sighed as it became clear another demonstration was in order. “It wasn’t a fluke, but if you want proof, I can teach Applejack efficiency as well as power.”

The result would be massive overkill, but there were consequences to willfully ignoring the facts. This was something Rainbow seemed ignorant of, and the easiest way to relieve said ignorance was to show those consequences – in controlled conditions, of course.

Having Princess Twilight disintegrate a mountain in one buck might prove my point, and I was slightly tempted to try that given Rainbow’s attitude, but then everypony would have to live with the consequences of such a massive misuse of information. At the very least, it would completely upheave the ex-mountain’s ecosystem. At worst, it might even reawaken the almost crippling fear society had once held for alicorns.

Mother would call that poetic justice.

I would call it self-destructive, petty vengeance.

A cracked but still functioning apple tree was a far better example to use. The consequences would leave a visible impression, but such damage was reversible in time. If Applejack was half the earth pony her farm suggested, the healing process would take a few months at most.

Shaking our head, ve continued. “It shouldn’t be hard. I’ll need to see how you applebuck a few trees first, and then I’ll need to examine the target tree of your choice.”

Applejack hummed. “That sounds fair to me. What do you think Rainbow?”

Rainbow looked at Applejack like she had grown a second head.

Applejack cocked an eyebrow at the pegasus. “Don’t be like that, sugarcube. We’ve seen he could handle the applebucking, and it took a heap of humble pie to honestly admit he couldn’t handle the heavy lifting.”

The arch turned its gaze upon me – taking on a much more imposing light. “Even if it was just him puttin’ a bow on a rattlesnake and tryin’ to call it pretty.”

She turned back to Rainbow as ve squirmed. “Ah’m not saying we trust him, but we need to give him an actual chance like we promised Twi. You can’t say that’s what we were planning on doing, can you? Ah know Ah sure as hay can’t, and it ain’t right to hold him to a standard he can’t meet.”

Rainbow silently glowered at me, and the extra rush of bitterness was so sudden ve couldn’t process the context. All ve could get a read on was that it wasn’t Rainbow’s standard distrust.

It was also kind of itchy, but ve couldn’t actually find a reference to that in the Archives off the top of our head either.

“Fine.” Her emotions quickly stabilized back to what was becoming her standard of distrust and suppressed anger around me.

Ve internally tsked at that. The little progress ve’d made earlier was gone thanks to whatever that little flare of emotion had been, but ve couldn’t do much without a proper sample. Ve had nothing to isolate what the issue was, so ve simply made a mental note to be on the lookout for it again.

Watching Applejack provided enlightening information on proper earth pony applebucking. The archives were surprisingly lackluster in their coverage of the traditional techniques – most likely because they were horribly impractical for us. In the end, it took another row of the orchard to observe Applejack’s technique enough for the demonstration.

And Rainbow Dash was almost-but-not-quite breathing down my neck the entire time.

She was hovering a little behind me, and ve could literally feel the glare causing an itch on the back of my head. Ve still weren’t getting enough context, but ve weren’t going to risk lowering the filter any to get more.

“Alright, that’s enough,” ve declared, as Applejack bucked one last tree. Moving to the next row, ve set my hoof on the trunk and released a quick pulse to find what ve needed. Running some calculations in our head, ve pointed to a particular point on the ground.

“Stand there.”

“No, one step to the left.”

“That’s a little too far. Go back to the right.”

“Now take a step forward.”

“Perfect! Now buck straight backwards with all your strength!” Ve looked to Rainbow Dash. “This is what happens when a proper earth pony utilizes the method you saw before.” There was the crunch of splinters, and half of the tree quickly began its first and only flight lesson.

“Big Bertha!”

I winced at the wine and whiskey splashing through the air from Applejack. “Wasn’t expecting that. Ve- I mean, I didn’t think the results would be so irreversible. I should have considered that an earth pony might need to hold back their strength.”

I sheepishly scratched the back of my head. My carapace was still itchy from all of Rainbow’s glaring. “I don’t suppose either of you would be willing to accept an apology, would you? I’d rather not do another demonstration. At this point, action seems to be saying all the wrong things.”

Rainbow said nothing as she continued to glower at me. She was definitely trying to, though. I could hear the beginning and end of various sounds trying to form a coherent sentence, but it seemed she was incapable of expressing her current level of loathing.

Honest Acceptance (Morpheus) Part 4

Honest Acceptance (Morpheus) Part 3

“I…! You…! She…!” After a few seconds of Applejack staring at the former tree and Rainbow wordlessly growling, the sounds in Rainbow’s throat were finally coming together into words. Ve tightened the filter an extra notch to adjust to the similarly congealing emotions.

“How can you possibly ask that after everything you’ve done – after everything your mom has done?!”

The pegasus flew into my face, and the itchiness started to escalate into a slight burning sensation. The taste of brimstone filled the air – a remarkable feat given the current strength of my filter – and ve started searching the Archives for something stronger that wouldn’t block both incoming and outgoing emotions. A repeat of the other day would be rather undesirable, after all. The last thing ve needed was for my emotions to lock up again.

With that in mind – along with the fact that every attempt to be civil had backfired – ve reluctantly decided to try things Rainbow Dash’s way. That is to say, ve were going to let my emotions do the talking and hope to the Azure Veil that whatever I said didn’t blow up spectacularly in my face.

It was a monumentally stupid idea, of course. Ve knew that, and the analysts agreed, but I didn’t know what else to try. The stronger the emotion, the more irrational the pony. Ve might not have a chance with Rainbow unless I tried a less conventional approach.

Thus I let loose for once – willingly lowering the mask rather than waiting for it to crack.

“Don’t you dare try to push my mother’s crimes on me! I may make my own mistakes, but I am not – and never will be – that monster!” She retreated slightly as I pushed forward. Some small part of us savored the faintest waft of sour milk in the air. There was a brief chink in her armor – a small crack in her mask – and from that ve knew she wasn’t invulnerable.

After all, courage is not an absence of fear, but the will to overcome it.

Quick as a whip it was drowned out again by spicy anger and bitter distrust, and ve had to lock my joints in place lest I balk in turn and beg for mercy.

Gnashing my teeth, I continued to vent. “Mother is at most an honorary title – nothing more. I do not, and never will, think of her as family. She’s not the one who raised me or cared for me or did any of the things you ponies call part of being a family. The teachers did that. The servants did that. The other nymphs did that. They were my family, and I refuse to be anything like my mother if I can help it.”

Stomping forward again, ve found my face almost snout to snout with Rainbow as the pegasus refused to show any sort of weakness a second time. “You are an Element of Harmony. You’re supposed to encourage peace, not try and pick fights with me when I’m trying to make up for my mother’s mistakes. In fact, that’s pretty much the exact opposite of harmony, so Hive help us all if this is the best the legendary Rainbow Dash can do!”

A hoof met my face faster than I could see, and I felt chitin crack but not break. I reared back from the force, falling backwards to hit my head on a nearby apple tree. As I opened my eyes I found the oddest little spots in my vision – dancing to the beats of my pounding headache.

I bemusedly held up a hoof to see if I could match the holes in my vision to the holes in my hoof before it occurred to us that ve should have expected more than one punch. Wobbling up onto my haunches, ve found a rather determined Applejack pinning Rainbow to the ground. The grass was matted from what appeared to be a rather aggressive tussle, and as the ringing in my ears died I finally started to hear the second argument ve’d started between them.

“That doesn’t tell me why you and everypony else are taking his side!” Rainbow was a whirlwind of emotions too dangerous to try and taste.

Applejack sighed, half-hugging half-strangling Rainbow as she made another break for me upon seeing I was up. “Consarn it, Rainbow! We ain’t taking his side! We’re givin’ him a chance to prove us wrong, and you’re just provoking him, thinking it’ll prove you right.”

“See! That’s it right there!” Rainbow snarled. “When was I suddenly not included with the rest of the gang? You were with me the other night!”

I saw the pegasus’ wings try to unfurl, but Applejack is as strong as they come. “Don’t go twisting mah words around, Rainbow. You know ah didn’t mean it like that. All Ah meant is that you’re trying to be so dang protective of us right now that you’re forgetting somepony else might be in need of a little loyalty.”

“He! Hasn’t! Earned it!” There was the distinct sound of bowling pins being knocked over as Rainbow broke free and streaked off into the distance.

I shook my head – wondering if I had something worse than a concussion – only to wince as the headache spiked with the motion. “Hive damn it all. Something tells us ve just made things worse. Again.”

“Actually, Ah think you made more progress there than with any of your other stunts.” Applejack dusted herself off before picking her Stetson up off the ground. “Sure, you were still trying to manipulate the pants off of us with that little tantrum, but that was the clearest picture of you Ah’ve gotten all day.”

Turning to me, she adjusted her hat before continuing. “Might be just the thing Rainbow needed to hear, too. Oh, she’ll need to cool off, but that ain’t anything new.” She frowned, briefly looking off into the distance where Rainbow had flown. “Ah’m a little worried about how long it’ll take for that to happen though.”

In the epitome of diplomatic fashion, I stared vacantly at her for several seconds. “Huh?” I nearly toppled back to the ground when I tilted my head.

“Shoot.” She frowned. “Ah hope that ain’t a concussion.”

It was, but ve were a little too busy attempting to evaluate the situation to immediately confirm her suspicions. Ve barely even registered the farmer helping me to my feet.

“Darn it. This was not what Ah needed today. There’s no way in Tartarus Ah’m bringing ya to the hospital like this. Can ya fix yer disguise?”

“My disguise is fine.” I wobbled slightly as ve waved my hoof in front of her to prove a point.

“Ponies don’t have holes in their hooves, hon,” came the reply.

“My hooves don’t have holes in them. That’s probably just the spots in your vision. That’s what it is for me.” Ve frowned as ve realized the hole in my logic. “Wait. You don’t have a concussion, do you….”

“Aww, horseapples,” Applejack sighed. “Definitely can’t take ya to the hospital like this. Ah don’t even know if they can treat ya, much less how they and the rest of the town’ll react. Better to just get ya situated at the farm for now and see if Zecora has anything to help.”

Trees passed by in a blur as Applejack began to nudge me along. We weren’t moving quickly, by any means. In fact, ve estimated our speed at roughly 0.8 meters per second, which was only around half the preferred walking speed of the average pony. I simply couldn’t find the focus to pay attention to the physical world as ve kept getting distracted by all sorts of fascinating things – such as figuring out how fast we were moving or calculating the change in applied force levels as Applejack started to get more insistent on dragging me along.

“Okay. We’re back. Now to get ya inside without anypony seeing, ’cause Ah ain’t gonna lie if you’re caught.” Applejack’s voice cut through the haze, and ve realized we were indeed already at the farm house. I was definitely more out of it than ve realized. Cautiously lowering the filter, I let the ambient love flow in and ease the headache a little so ve could properly process what happened.

As I was doing so, Applejack peeked inside. “Good. Granny’s napping, and Big Mac should be out in the fields for a while yet. Let’s get ya situated in the guest room before anypony notices. Ah’ll need to have a word with the others about making sure Bloom doesn’t bother ya, though.”

As I was pulled through the door and placed in the homey and – more importantly – inconspicuous guest room, ve found ourself being buried under at least five different kinds of bedding before Applejack hurried for the door.

“Wait!” I raised a hoof to stop Applejack as ve rushed to find out how far today’s plan went off track. “What about the bet? I can’t exactly make it through a day on the farm like this.”

The farmer deadpanned. “Hon, that bet barely meant anything to begin with, and it definitely doesn’t mean anything now. Y’all should know ya can’t just manipulate me and Dash, and that bet was nothing but shameless manipulation. The others might – and Ah say might – tolerate it ’cause it’s pretty clear to us ya can’t just turn that part of yourself off, but it really rubs me and Dash the wrong way.”

I sagged into the covers. “But ve could taste it. Both of you were less angry and everything….”

“And how long did that actually last for Dash?” An eyebrow arched. “Competition is just that – competition. Twilight said y’all read our reports to the Princess, so ya know about the Iron Pony incident. If competition shouldn’t make any difference among friends, then why should it make any difference among enemies?”

Ve stared at her for a moment. “That is a surprisingly logical standpoint. It’s almost changeling really. I don’t know why ve didn’t think of that.”

Applejack snorted. “It ain’t logic, hon. It’s just common sense. Approaching it like some fancy logic problem means you’re overthinking it. Ah better be off to grab Zecora, though. Ya may be sounding better, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Try and rest up while I’m out.”

With a tip of her hat, the farmer left me to my own devices, and I quickly cocooned myself within the mish-mash of fleece, wool, cotton, silk, patchwork quilts made with all of the above, and the odd duvet that was pretending to be a blanket. My head had barely hit the pillow before I was out like a light, although there was the odd sense ve were forgetting something.

“Probably not as important as rest...” was all I managed to say before falling asleep.

“Rise and shine, flyboy! Don’t make me bring out the swatter!” A raspy voice almost yelled with all the forced cheer of a clown with an eight year degree in theater and drama. “I’m missing nap time cuz of you, so if I don’t get to sleep neither do you.”

Getting over the spike of pain that was from both a return to consciousness – and thus my headache – and the near shout that woke me up, ve were about to question what was going when a mini-deluge hit me. I understandably shrieked at undetectably high frequencies that were not at all feminine.

“Cold!”

“Geez. Stop being such a pansy. I thought your were supposed to be tougher stuff than that.” Ponyville’s lead weather mare bucked the cloud above the bed again, letting the last of the moisture rain down upon me.

“Sounds like you’re in a better mood,” ve snarked.

“Does it taste like it?” She smiled back smugly.

I snorted while I attempted to extricate myself from the now soaking cocoon. “Not really, no. Cotton candy doesn’t really taste good when I know it’s probably just sadistic glee, and you have awful choice in dipping sauces. Liquid rainbow and hemlock just doesn’t appeal to me.”

The grin got smugger. “Good. That’s all I need to hear. Much better than a ‘thank you’ for saving your life.”

I frowned, dumping everything but the mattress in the corner before looking in the closet to see if there were spare blankets. My magic flickered to the pounding in my head. “What do you mean by that, and why are you even back?”

The cheer remained as overly chipper as an axe. “Well, I just happened to be starting a nap on a spare cloud that blew in from the Everfree, when Applejack came running towards the path towards Zecora’s. That didn’t make much sense since she had to deal with you bugging her all day, flyboy, so I foalishy decided to see what was up.”

I could hear her teeth grinding for a second before she continued. “Of course, you had to get a concussion from one measly punch. It wasn’t even a proper scrap or anything! And if you couldn’t handle one hit, chances were you’d never had to deal with a concussion before. I figured you’d be sleeping it off rather than simply resting, and that’s the last thing you want to do before you’re sure the injury isn’t bad enough to leave you in a coma or worse.”

I swore in Chitri. Ve knew ve had been forgetting something.

Rainbow narrowed her brow, glaring at me from above. “Do I want to know what that means?”

I shook my head, and she shrugged. “Whatever. Basically, I raced back to make sure you didn’t kick the bucket. I might wanna beat you to a pulp, but that doesn’t mean I want you to become a veggie or end up dead as a doornail.”

Her emotions were cooling, and I couldn’t help but tilt my head as I stared at the prismatic puzzle in front of me. It seemed there was more than one enigma among the Elements besides the Pink Menace. “Well, I guess I should tha-”

“I said I didn’t need your thanks!” The snarl was back, along with her more colorful emotions. I sighed, seeing whatever moment there could have been break the sound barrier as it left faster than it came.

Rainbow was about to follow it out the window when she called back. “Oh! I almost forgot. You totally owe me for saving your skin. Big Mac saw me on my way back, and he’s probably gonna be coming through the door any minute. You get to take care of explaining things, because I can’t make promises that my explanation wouldn’t get you squashed like the bug you are. Later, flyboy!”

Ve contemplated following Rainbow out the window. Seeing I was on the second floor, a few seconds of buzzing wobbily above the ground caused us to discard this notion. This was quickly followed by an attempt to bolt out the door so ve could hide before sneaking back to Ponyville later that night. That plan was discarded as well when I heard the front door open and hoofsteps climbing the stairs.

Barricading the door was tossed to the side after quickly estimating the mass of the approaching giant compared to the mass of the little bit of furniture in the room.

A last ditch effort at illusions and a disguise confirmed it was indeed monumentally stupid to cast magic or shapeshift with a concussion, and so ve took the only other option and sat in the center of the bed ve had yet to remake. Trying incredibly hard to control my breathing, ve started weaving a web of possible scenarios as fast as was safely possible.

This also turned out to be a rather bad idea in retrospect. A concussion requires as much mental rest as physical rest. Of course, our thoughts on the matter were phrased much less elegantly as ve flopped to the bed with a railroad spike in my brain for every possibility ve had briefly managed to consider.

“Are ya alright in there, Mister….” The door opened, and there was silence.

A couple moments passed as ve waited for the explosion.

“Ah reckon that explains the Pinkie Promise.” A simple drawl was not what ve expected.

Managing to look up, ve found myself under a scrutinizing gaze. Ve briefly wondered why I couldn’t taste his emotions before realizing the filter was too high from my encounter with Dash. As I lowered it, ve were surprised that all I could taste was oranges. “You aren’t afraid or angry or suspicious?”

“Should Ah be?” Despite the stoic face, one could hear the eyebrow arch – even if it was on a microscopic scale.

Ve looked at him helplessly, completely out of our depths. I gestured to the chitin and holes. “Well, you know….”

“Ah ain’t one to let mah emotions run wild,” came the reply.

“That’s an understatement.” I snorted. “There’s not a shred of negative emotions as far as I can tell.”

“No point in negativity.” His gaze was starting to unnerve me.

I sighed. “You might say that now –”

“Ah trust Applejack.” There was a small slice of a very large honey-glazed apple pie with that statement.

“So does Rainbow Dash, and she gave me this.” I gestured to the new cracks in my face. Ve needed to get to treating them soon or they’d leave marks.

“Eeyup. She’s a hot head.”

I snorted, failing to hold back a laugh. “That’s putting it mildly. When I met her the other day, her emotions set me on hallucinogenic fire. Hottest head I’ve ever seen, although ve can think of a couple others.”

Big Mac simply noded with a small smile. “Need anything then?”

I stretched before getting up and finishing remaking the bed. “Can you get me a mirror and make extra certain the Cutie Mark Crusaders get nowhere near me? I saw Applebloom had her Cutie Mark this morning, but ve know what those three can do. Applejack said she was going to mention it to you, but I can’t stress how much I’d rather not face Cutie Mark Crusaders Vermin Catchers. We might look like bugs but most of us aren’t vermin.”

The stallion left chuckling. “There’s more than three now.”

Ve stopped briefly to contemplate that with the proper amount of horror it deserved. “May the First Father have mercy on my soul…”

Those Who Walk Among Us (Twilight) Part 1

Honest Acceptance (Morpheus) Part 4

Changeling saliva, as ve mentioned before, makes for excellent caulking or cement when making minor or temporary repairs. With a number of other ingredients to act as catalysts, it upgrades from a simple mundane bonding agent to a magical one capable of handling much bigger problems – medical problems, for example.

Simply cementing the cracks in my chitin would encourage the same problem ponies face with healed broken bones. After breaking once, it’s easier to break again because of the trace the fracture leaves behind. Understandably, that’s a bigger issue for creatures with exoskeletons composed of many smaller interlocking pieces, so we need to step up treatment and heal the fracture as if it had never happened.

Redistributing mass via shapeshifting can help, but it can’t restore lost chitin. I had the time to spare and the carapace cement I had brought from the Hive in my corbiculae. Thus, I was in the middle of treating myself when Applejack returned.

Ve flicked an ear as the door opened to let in a set of hooves. Ve assumed Big Mac was back to check on us, but a crashing noise down the hall alerted us to another presence. “Confound this saddle bag of mine. It seems I’ll need a needle and twine.”

“He’s in here, Zecora.” Applejack’s voice was muffled slightly at first from what I presumed was her calling back into the hall. There was the shuffling and clinking of bottles in answer, yet the pony’s hoofsteps still mysteriously evaded my ears. As Applejack turned her attention to me, her voice became clearer. “Alright, Morpheus, Ah hope you’ve been – Sugarcube, is there a reason yer in the middle of a gosh darn facial?”

I snorted, opening my eyes as I shifted to a sitting position. “This is not a facial. Ponies get facials. Changelings get polishes. Besides, this does way more than just rejuvenating complexions. I need to replace any chitin that may have chipped off when Rainbow hit me.”

“Ah’ve been to enough sleepovers with Rarity to know what a facial looks like, hon.”

“You try not caring about your appearance when the result is broken bones instead of pimples,” I groused, looking beyond the farmer as her companion entered.

We stared at each other for a moment, testing to see who would make the first move.

I won when Zecora broke the silence. “Applejack, you told me you had a strange guest, yet you failed to impress the oddity of your request.”

The shaman managed to keep her cool on the outside, but I could taste any number of emotions churning inside. “Had you mentioned a changeling in your bed, I would have focused on taming my feelings of dread. There is great strength in bitter medicine, but changelings need more care and attention.”

Parsing the rhyme, ve cringed at the last line. Sending the faintest breeze to her, ve managed to whisper, “if you’re saying what ve think you’re saying, ixnay on that train of thought. Ve haven’t explained how an emotivore’s diet works to anypony yet. Ve cannot fathom how you yourself might know anything – and if ve’re completely off the mark here, please don’t say anything until ve can talk to you in complete privacy – but ve’re willing to take a few bitter pills and suffer side effects if it means not contaminating our negotiations with guilt trips.”

Zecora pointedly did not look in my direction as she began pulling out regents and potions. A small number of tools followed, although they wouldn’t be enough to create anything truly potent.

The churning began to settle into a minty tea flavor, and I inwardly groaned as ve realized I was about to be on the receiving end of a conversation of somepony who thought they knew better than me. It wasn’t true condescension – it lacked the snot-like viscosity so common in snobs – but it definitely fell in line with what I’d expect from one of mother’s Hive forsaken lectures.

Ignoring my plea Zecora continued to muse. “Negative emotions will only fester and accrue. Any treatment I made as such might work only if swine flew. If I truly want to heal him proper, my feelings will, at the least, need a stopper.”

I resisted the urge to plant my face into something hard – preferably my hoof, although a table would suffice.

Setting up a minor filter to moderate outgoing feelings, ve decided it would be best to roll with it so ve could run damage control. Applejack’s emotions had already run the gauntlet of curiosity and were already approaching the mish-mash of flavors that was confusion.

Applejack scratched the back of her head. “Twi did say something about poisonous emotions when she was giving us the lowdown, but Ah thought she was being metaphorical or symbolic or something. Are… are ya sayin’ if you, me, or the gals so much as think funny about the prince here it’ll muck up whatever progress he makes? ’Cause Ah’m not sure we can manage that. How are we supposed to keep track of the varmint if we can’t go near him for fear of killin’ him?”

The urge to facehoof was gone, but I was fervently wishing I could massage my forehead. “It won’t kill me. Certain emotions just have certain side effects in given quantities and situations. The Pink Menace got me drunk on joy, and too much love literally causes cardiac arrest – which ve know sounds bad but is surprisingly easy to treat as long as you swallow or regurgitate the love in question.”

That got a face from the farmpony, although ve weren’t exactly sure what kind of face it was.

An egg timer dinged on the bed stand, and I began peeling the left over carapace cement off as fast as I could. My hoof was going to meet my face in one way or another. “Negative emotions aren’t exactly healthy, but I can actually process them in small quantities when push comes to shove. The problem is those are usually fight or flight situations, and side effects range anywhere from fatigue to blood thinning to weaker immune systems and worse recovery rates – all of which are undesirable in those situations.”

Applejack’s face settled into a small frown with a slight narrowing of her brow. It wasn’t enough to signal downright anger or displeasure, yet it was most certainly not pensive, and her mounting befuddlement was making it harder and harder to read her emotions.

Once again, ve found myself cursing that confusion had such a overwhelmingly baffling taste.

As I removed the rest of my mask, I brought my hooves to my head for well earned relief. “And when it comes to medical practices, there’s a reason there’s the phrase ‘laughter is the best medicine.’ Something as personal as taking care of the well being of another creature – especially where the patient’s life itself may be on the line – invokes the very magic of Equis. It’s not much of an effect in most species usually, but it is technically measurable, and emotivores like me are some of the few where any significant difference can occur.”

Ve glared at the so-called zebra, wondering who ve were actually dealing with. “What I want to know is how your friend here could possibly know that. I’ll give her knowing tender loving care and attention would improve my recovery. That’s easy to infer because I’m a Hive forsaken changeling. She shouldn’t know negative emotions can have debilitating effects, though.”

I let my fangs show. “Suspicions? Understandable. Certainty? No. The chances of a simple shaman knowing that are vanishingly small. It’s so unlikely based on our current information that the probability is effectively zero.

“And that implies there’s something here ve don’t know – allowing such an implausible situation to become plausible.”

The physician in front of me gave that annoying smile all cryptic mystics have. “I admit, I had a rather interesting teacher – a thirst for knowledge and curiosity her most interesting feature. You see, I was a student and avid listener to one whom you would call a Malpractitioner.”

My brow needed another message, and I savored just how smooth the fresh carapace was. “Two questions. First, does that mean you aren’t a changeling? Ve were half-worried mother decided to give a damn for once. Ve know for a fact she was in the Everfree yesterday.”

Zecora shook her head. “A changeling you will not find me to be. I am and always have been me.”

I looked to Applejack, whose head was flopping back and forth between us like a fish out of water. “Is she telling the truth?”

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t she be? She goes through the monthly tests like everypony else. Kinda odd really. Some of mah family don’t because they’re too far outta their respective towns to bother with, but the guard is extra picky with Ponyville.”

She shuffled on her hooves. “Ah guess it’s ’cause of me and the gals, but we can take care of ourselves. Really though, hon, is anypony gonna fill me in? ’Cause Ah’m feeling mighty lost about now.”

Well, I certainly felt like an idiot now. Ve had actually seriously considered that our mother might be trying to act motherly for once. She had to know I was hurt if she had access to my own agents, and there was no way ve had ferreted out all the leaks. Ve supposed, however, that she wouldn’t have had much time to respond from between when ve reported the situation after Rainbow woke us to the time Applejack probably reached Zecora’s.

Then again, this was mother. If she really wanted to replace Zecora, then she would – consequences to herself and my negotiations be damned. Kidnapping the local shaman – and leaving them hive knows where in a dangerous forest – just to get a chance to tend to me was exactly the sort of psychopathic pseudo-mothering ve didn’t need right now.

It was probably better this way.

Thus ve steered our focus to our other query, ignoring Applejack’s deliciously orange flavored tornado of curiosity and confusion. “Okay then. Second question. How did you spell Malpractitioner?”

“Capital M.” The shaman wasn’t even phased by the question.

I buried my head in the bed to gnash my fangs without unnerving Applejack. Ve figured the constant flux from shifting them from one shape to another wouldn’t go over well. When I finally brought my head back up, I snorted for good measure.

“Hive damn it all. Is that where they are now-a-days – Zebrica? They’re so hard to keep track of with how private they are, and they have things so easy compared to us. All they need is a single curious apprentice and they’re set for years. Ve have no idea why they even bother hiding, much less why they’re paranoid enough with their secrets to make a Lord look like honest Applejack here.” Applejack sputtered indignantly as ve heedlessly continued. “It’s not like they’re the parasitic love-sucking monsters or anything.”

I huffed and crossed my hooves in front of me.

Applejack took a second to compose herself. The mish-mash of conflicting feelings that was her confusion had started an orange flavored food fight, and the simmering stew that had been her frustration from today was now all but frozen in the background. “So, Ah’m only gonna ask this once more before Ah run for Twilight and get her to make y’all explain things. What in the hay just went on here?”

The mint tea flavor that had pervaded the room for so long was almost gag inducingly strong as Zecora answered. “The price of knowing is not to know, lest my powers be only for show.”

I rolled my eyes, deciding to give Applejack a proper answer. “What she means is that she was an apprentice to another kind of emotivore called a Malpractitioner – and before you ask ve don’t know how much of that is profession versus species, and ve don’t know whether Malpractice was named for malpractice or the other way around. The cryptic maggots don’t appreciate the concept of sharing where appropriate.”

Seeing that the simple farmer’s face was beginning to scrunch together in all the signs of a burnt out brain, ve skipped most of the annoyingly short explanation ve had and jumped to the important part. “Where changelings feed on love, Malpractitioners feed on curiosity, and they get it by being cryptic to the point that you’d crack your skull open on your desk if it would help their lessons sink in better.”

Ve nodded towards Zecora. “They tempt you with all the answers you could want, but tend to leave you with ten times as many questions as you came with.”

As an afterthought, ve added, “Ve’re not sure ve can actually think of another creature that drives us up the walls like they do. Twilight would never survive meeting a real one, that’s for sure.”

Applejack, being the straightforward mare she was, took the direct approach in her response. “Well… if Zecora is one of them whatcha-ma-call-its… does that mean she ain’t a zebra just like you ain’t a pony?”

Ve scoffed. “I just said she probably isn’t a true Malpractitioner. Twilight would probably be in a padded cell if that was the case. Don’t expect us to say for certain, though. They love muddling their numbers. It adds more questions to never give a straight answer to. She might even just be the apprentice of an apprentice. The price of knowing is not to know, after all.”

I sighed, sinking into the bed. “The only plus side to this is that true Malpractitioners know their craft like nopony else, so she might actually be able to cure me. A normal practitioner of medical arts wouldn’t have anything to replace the couple weeks of bed rest needed for a concussion. Malpractitioners, though…. The strongest of them can read and understand the body like a book. Rumor is they can even predict the exact number of beats your heart has left until you die.”

Zecora nodded. “We can indeed see how many pages are left in your tale. The price is we add or remove some without fail.”

“Typical,” I muttered, sitting back up to glare at the shaman. “This is exactly why Malpractitioners drive us insane. They never give an honest answer.”

“Hon, you do realize you’re the pot calling the kettle black, right? Besides, Zecora is being honest with us.” Applejack drawled.

“I’m always honest, Applejack,” I groused. “I’m just not your kind of honest. Malpractitioners, on the other hand, are not. Did you even realize Zecora has probably been playing us both for foals? It would not surprise me if she used my own paranoia against me such that I got so caught up in our little talk that ve left you way in the dust. You’re certainly not angry or frustrated from earlier anymore. You’re far too befuddled for that, and confusion is neither inherently positive or negative. This whole conversation could easily have been a way to sterilize the environment for me.”

I flopped back onto the mattress, shaking my hoof at the ceiling. “And the worst part is, she’s handed us so many unknowns that ve can’t even say that with any certainty. A puzzle that can’t be deduced; a riddle without an answer: dishonest!”

I sighed, letting my hoof fall. Ve had said far more than was wise. The headache – which ve had almost forgotten – had escalated from a quiet rumble to pounding drums, and ve were suddenly aware of how heavy our eyes felt and how hollow our heart was. It was too much worrying, planning, thinking, scheming. Ve must have burned my reserves thinking about everything except how bad it was to be thinking right now.

“You call me manipulative, but who isn’t? Everypony always wants something. Everypony has the right to try and get that something. And anything is fair game if you know the rules well enough.” I yawned, cocooning within the covers. Over. Under. Over. Under. Wrapped in a chrysalis, never to be torn asunder.

As sleep claimed me, I heard somepony close the door as they headed out of the room. I mumbled into my pillow, “I just want to finally meet somepony – maybe even someling – I don’t have to be that way with.”

I was awoken far after Zecora finished my treatment. When ve asked why, she responded, “I wished to apologize for making you stressed, for my intent was never to interrupt your rest. It was most unprofessional of me, and thus I worked my magic while leaving you be.”

I sighed, rubbing my brow as I rose to my haunches. “Ve called it. You were purposely trying to confuse Applejack weren’t you? And of course, treating me while I’m asleep just happens to mean ve didn’t get to see what wonders you pulled. Typical.”

Zecora smiled. “Never forget the cardinal rule. One plus one may equal more than two. When you take a needle to string them together, you will find eleven lessons you want to remember.”

Ve tilted my head to the side. “Why confess to Malpractice though?”

Fine wine filled the air. It was aged, old, a piece of history. “They rejected me once on mere suspicion. I suppose I was curious if, to the truth, they would listen. They know the facts now – as much as I dare. I am indeed an enchantress – both foul and fair.”

I shivered slightly. “Ah, right. That reminds me. There’s always a price. How do you all phrase it? To make a dream come true, you must first have something to rue? Well, what’s the curse of the day? Ve’d prefer getting turned into a frog. That’ll be easy to break, as long as Twilight doesn’t dissect me first....”

Zecora shook her head with a tiny frown on her face. She started packing her tools as she talked. “It doesn’t work like that, I fear. Soon your fee will be quite clear.”

Standing up and stretching, I felt more awake than I had in months. The sun shined through the window as it prepared to set, and the birds were melodiously chirping – which ve noted was odd for this time of day, but not unwelcome. My chitin was warm and tingly, and I felt like singing just for being alive. “What could go wrong?~ This is a wonderful song!~ Oh! What a joy to be me!~”

I quickly shoved a hoof in my mouth as ve contemplated what had just happened. I turned to the zebra, my motion effortlessly falling right in time with the rhythm I was feeling inside. Ve couldn't help but notice my movements looked choreographed.

My mood began to drop like a rock, and the tune in my head changed to compensate. The staccato shifted from bubbly and energetic into a frantic rush. With the change, ve noticed a large amount of dissonance in the sensations running through my body. Warm, fuzzy, tingles fought cold, crawling, shivers. The sheer elation from waking up rested and whole began to war with the mounting horror of a list of potential – and very conspicuous – prices suddenly presenting itself to us.

Opening our mouth to ask a number of queries to narrow that list, the fact that I continued on in a sing-song fashion had us crossing out a number of more favorable options. “What’s that?!~ What’s this?!~ What have you done to me?!~ I’m happy, dreary, oh-so-cheery, and singing ‘Woe is me!’~”

By this point, the fear was easily winning, and yet ve persevered despite my terror. It might have been the shock, or perhaps it was the surreal sense of disconnect ve felt from the realization that the song was influencing me at least as much as our own thoughts. Ve weren’t sure. More data was needed on exactly how I was being effected.

Oddly rhythmic shivers racked my body as I quivered in what ve knew should be extreme fright. My heart hammered at an incredible pace, and I could almost taste the fear rolling off of me, yet ve noted I was not as afraid as the bizarre not-quite dance would suggest. The motions were exaggerated to match the music – not my actual mindset.

Ve began to focus on that to calm myself as the music completed its shift from from frantic to a bubbling, boiling, brew.

Calming myself was not helped by Zecora joining the fray. “You came to the witchdoctor, and she put a spell on you~ You came to the witchdoctor, the price is yours to rue~ You came to me, nothing for free!~ And you let me place your shackles three!~ A song, a dance, an unnamed favor~ All to be collected later~”

I stomped my hooves – in rhythm – as the song continued to fluctuate. Ve had regulated my fear, but I wasn’t calm. My heart was still racing. The quivers and tingles were still there – but, without context for fear or elation, my body – and the song’s tune – settled on another emotion.

Drums pounded in our head as anger filled me. “Tell me when the song will stop!~ Tell me when the dance will end!~ Lest you be responsible for what’s coming round the bend!~”

Once more it was somehow lacking or incomplete in a way ve couldn’t accurately describe. The anger was only partially true as far as ve were concerned. Part of it was the song, and for some reason knowing that muted the effect on my body.

Zecora twirled to the door, her hooves tapping yet another new beat and rhythm. “For now it’s settling in, I fear~ Yet note the music’s still not clear~ With silly tunes and broken croons, the song’s still incomplete~ The price is only paid in full upon finding the proper beat~”

She left the room, and looked at me – no longer singing. “The price is heavy – that is sure – yet it comes with a gift most true and pure. Rare is it to get a two-for-one deal, when invoking my magic that’s actually real. All cures have a curse at the root of their cores. You may yet use yours to avert conflict and wars.”

She left humming a tune ve could not name, and ve found the music inside us thrumming along whether ve wanted to or not. Our wings chirped an accompaniment that made us recall the time the Hive actually did find the world’s smallest violin.

It all stopped suddenly as I spoke. “I wonder if she realizes she just gave us more data points on Malpractice than ve’ve gotten in the last two centuries.”

And then it started again to a more upbeat tune. “I stopped singing!~ I stopped singing!~ What a wonder that it’s so!~ Ne’er mind; here again I go~”

Applejack shuffled in the door. “Why in the hay are ya singing?~ Why in the hay must Ah rhyme?~ The tune sure is nice~ And the rhythm precise~ But really this isn’t the time~”

And then there was blessed silence once more.

I savored it a second before answering. “It’s quite simple actually~ Zecora put a curse on me~”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “There ain’t such a thing as curses, hon. We did this song and dance with Twilight before.”

I cringed at her choice of words. “Yes, well… Twilight was wrong about that. Curses exist, and they aren’t all bad like the books say. They’re just usually more subtle about when they do something good for a pony. Ve mean, do you know what the chances are of somepony cursed to be a frog actually finding a princess to be the one who breaks the curse? Yet, the curse ensures that it happens.”

The farmer shook her head. “Whatever you wanna think, sugarcube.” She gestured for me to move towards the door. “Come on then. It’s high time you get back to Twilight.”

As I stepped out the front door, I donned my disguise before turning to Applejack and waving. She waved back not saying anything. Ve think we both knew saying something ran the risk of ruining the moment.

Ve may not have made friends, but we were perhaps not-quite-enemies.

I felt the warmth of the sun on my carapace, and ve couldn’t think of a good enough reason to stop the grin splitting my face. My wings broke through my illusion momentarily as they went through the oddest mix of fluttering and chirping.

“Morning in Ponyville shimmers~ Morning in Ponyville shines!~ And I know for absolute certain, that everything will be just fine~” It was only as I reared up on my hind legs to sing the tune ve hadn’t been aware I’d been thrumming that ve realized there was indeed a good reason not to smile.

I quickly dropped to my hooves frowning. “This is going to keep happening out of the blue until I sing the right song, isn’t it.”

The song in my head settled on a energetic bubbly number like it was giggling, and ve sighed as ve tried to tune it out. “Ve guess ve’ll finally find out if I’m as good a singer as mother at least.”

Trotting towards town, ve stopped on the outskirts as ve saw the market setting up instead of cleaning up, and it finally occurred to us what ve’d sung in the last verse.

“Hive damn it all. I didn’t even make it to lunch before sleeping the whole day away.”

With that, ve’re going to excuse ourselves so I don’t rudely snap at any more of your questions. I really am sorry, but – when ve can’t answer half of your questions, and they’re all questions you have about Malpractitioners – ve can’t help projecting my feelings on the matter.

It’s absolutely infuriating how little they’re willing to share with us.

Those Who Walk Among Us (Twilight) Part 2

Those Who Walk Among Us (Twilight) Part 1

Changing Time’s Notes: This is the second great secret I am allowed to reveal to you: It has been known for some time that some small number of changelings have lived among us even before the invasion of Canterlot. What most ponies fail to realize is that ‘small’ is a relative term and that we have grossly underestimated just how much changelings have played a part in our lives.

The prince would rather you not know specifics – believing it both a kindness to you and his subjects. He fears it will drive you, gentle reader, back into paranoia. Twilight, on the other hoof, was adamant I include this report for the same reasons I desired it in the first place. She believes that seeing how interchangeable the lives of ponies and changelings are will only help us overcome our issues. I may not be able to detail every significant changeling influence – if only because I don’t know everything myself – but I shall try to cover all that I learned while collecting these reports.

Creating a proper catalog would be an endeavor requiring years of study. There are apparently millennia of unknown history between changelings and ponies. Thus I do hope you’ll forgive me if what I can provide here merely scratches the surface. Such knowledge is not the true focus of most of these reports.

I wish to make it clear that such research is merely a secondary responsibility of mine for now, lest disgruntled readers form an angry mob to take me to task for my delinquency.

.

Those Who Walk Among Us: A Report by Twilight Sparkle

It’s odd how easy it is to take somepony for granted. Even the most influential scholars of the ages can be overshadowed by discoveries inspired by their initial work. My hero Starswirl the Bearded is one such pony, yet I sometimes wonder if we all know somepony like that – a friend so close to the core of our being that we just don’t realize how important to us they are, or consider how critical the loss would be if they were gone someday.

It’s like a pony’s favorite book: They’d never give it up, and they’d never harm or hurt it purposefully. It’s something they know back to front, and they don’t expect it to suddenly change or become lost. It’s simply there, and it always should be – the key word being ‘should’.

For me that pony – or dragon – was Spike.

Until I spent the day of Morpheus’ bet within Castle – completely on my own – it hadn’t struck me how empty Castle was. Sure, I had Castle himself, but it wasn’t the same. The books he brought weren’t handed physically to me. There was no rustling of claws in the background to provide comforting reminders that I was not alone.

Worst of all, there was no voice I could give to Castle’s written wit. I simply translated it as Spike’s in my head, and – in those moments I simply couldn’t imagine Spike saying Castle’s response – it caused my heart to lurch.

Spike sank into my coat, and I shifted my concentration once again to solidify myself in the dreamscape. For hours we had been sitting together and reading in each other’s company.

The fact that we had both read Daring Do and the Sapphire Stone at least a dozen times in the real world didn’t matter. It was a book I knew by heart, and one of the few I was confident enough to conjure in his dream.

We simply sat, enjoying each other’s company as we read – I in my undefined void, and he in his giant field of topaz hay fries. Every so often he would seem to pluck some from the void to eat – not that I could see either them or the supposed stalks they grew on, but Spike’s earlier enthusiastic description let me fill in the blanks.

“Twilight?” he whispered, as I turned the page to a new chapter.

“Yeah?” I murmured back just as quietly.

“When do I get to come home?” His voice quivered slightly.

I sighed. “It’s up to you really. I want you to spend just a couple weeks in Canterlot, but I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted more to relax or if you were mad at me.”

The little dragon looked up at me from his place between my forelegs. “Do I look mad to you? I’m just glad you didn’t pick that bug over me like last night.”

I squeezed him. “You really should be mad at me though,” I sighed. “I never realized how much us leaving you behind meant to you! I would have gone with you to Canterlot – Celestia knows I could use a vacation myself – but I couldn’t with Morpheus here.”

I paused, then hung my head. “It’s always like that, isn’t it? There’s always something. It’s too dangerous. You’re a baby dragon. Somepony needs to take care of the library. I’ve given you thousands of excuses, and I never realized what it sounded like on the other side.”

Spike sunk further into his little nook. “I was the one stupid enough not to tell you. Look where that got me. I’m stuck in Canterlot while you’re off on another adventure again. Useless as usual….”

I nuzzled him. “Well, what if I said there was something you could do for me?”

“Really?!” His head bopped my chin as he looked up, and I chuckled.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “The problem is, if you said ‘yes’, the safest place to do it from would be Canterlot.” I felt him tense and rushed to reassure him. “Like I said though, everything is up to you. I want my number one assistant back; you don’t need to stay away. It’s just safer for you in Canterlot, since I’m betting if the changelings do choose to do anything, it will take place in Ponyville.”

“W-what is it you want me to do?” His voice quivered. “Y-you’re not just trying to leave me where it’s safer are you?”

“No!” I engulfed him in a hug, enfolding him with my wings. “I want you to be my backup plan, my fail safe. With what happened with Chrysalis in the Everfree, I need to make sure I can reach somepony if something goes wrong. The other day, when Morpheus was telling me about changelings, he mentioned they don’t dream like normal ponies. I bet they can’t enter or view dreams either. It’d be a great way to secretly send messages, and I was thinking… maybe I could train myself to join your dreams without thinking about it. If I was captured or something, I’d only need to go to sleep or get knocked out, and then I could call you to call the cavalry.”

He shuffled in my embrace, hesitating. “Why do I have to stay in Canterlot for that though? I have my dragon fire.”

I squeezed him again. “You do have your dragon fire, and I said you don’t need to stay away any longer than the two weeks you’re going to be gone. It’s your choice this time. I only said Canterlot would be the safest place for you to be so you aren’t caught in the crossfire. If you were, how would you get your message off?”

“I don’t know… but I want to come home. I’ll find a way to save you if something like that happens, Pinkie Promise.” He broke out of my grasp, turning so I could watch him make the motions.

“Okay then,” I smiled. “We’ll all see you when you come back. I’ll make sure Pinkie makes a fire ruby ice cream cake just for your inevitable return party.”

“Extra sprinkles?” he asked, eyes sparkling, as I hugged him again.

“Extra sprinkles,” I confirmed.

We sat like that for a minute or two.

“So, back to reading?” my favorite assistent asked.

I awoke and simply lay in bed, breathing as slowly as I could to try and go back to sleep. When I realized that wouldn’t be happening anytime soon, I sighed and let the tiny flicker of magic maintaining my connection to Spike fade – so little, my horn didn’t glow and I could maintain it in my sleep. With practice I could – no, would – make it last all the time. Spike was never going to be left completely out again.

Groaning, I opened my eyes, only to find a bug on my ceiling. “What are you doing, Morpheus?” I asked, perplexed.

“Yes, well….” Morpheus kicked the ceiling as the plates in his leg clenched and opened. “When I tried to enter your room to wake you, Castle said I wasn’t to get within three meters of your bed. Ve closed our eyes to calculate how to stay within his restriction, and he shifted the dimensions of the room so I couldn’t just walk in. When ve responded by crawling through the small safe zone of the threshold that didn’t fall within a three meter spherical radius, he decided to shrink the room the next time I blinked. Ve cannot leave the room without violating his original conditions.”

I had tidied my room before going to bed, but now as I looked around I could see it was a mess. There was a house of cards at the door, a book fort sheltering Smarty Pants guarding my bed, and two veritable armies of paper pony dolls warring between the two. Looking back up, I arched an eyebrow.

“By that point ve were having too much fun trying outmaneuver Castle so ve could wake you up to remember to wake you.” He shrugged, levitating a marvelous smelling cup down to me. “Coffee?”

I grunted, cautiously grabbing it in my magic and casting a small divination spell to tell me the ratios of its components.

They were all exactly right.

Taking a sip, I smiled. “That all seems rather…” I trailed off.

“Passive aggressive?” he suggested.

I blinked, and saw Castle’s answer of “Creepy?” on the wall Morpheus couldn’t see.

“Yes?” I ventured. Trying to change the subject I jumped to the first thing that came to mind. “How’d you make the coffee? It’s perfect.”

The changeling smiled. “Oh, that was only partly us. Ve never would have got it right if Castle wasn’t – and ve quote – ‘Always watching.’”

Yes. Creepy and passive aggressive was the perfect way to describe this. I wasn’t sure if this was actually a fight or simply a game to them. Morpheus was certainly smiling, and I wasn’t sure a castle built from friendship and rainbows actually could fight, but this was weird, which is really saying something coming from somepony who is friends with Pinkie Pie.

“Okay then.” My smile was slightly bigger than it should have been. “Well if you don’t mind I’d really like some privacy to get ready.”

Morpheus advanced a small squadron of paper ponies. “Yes, ve would love to leave, but ve’d rather not lose after lasting this long. The room is still too small to exit while following the initial limitations.”

The lights flickered, providing a privacy screen folded up neatly against the wall.

“Hmm,” the prince thrummed. “Ve have a feeling accepting that solution will cost us points, but ve are willing to take it.” A green glow surrounded the screen, and it levitated to block his view of me. He called from above, “I can see your shadow and nothing more, allowing us to track you so I don’t accidentally invade your privacy as you leave the screen. If you give us permission to cast a silence spell, it’ll be like I’m not even here.”

I kicked away the covers to rise from bed. Glaring at the ceiling, I pointed to the floor. “Down.”

As he fluttered down, his grin was smug. “Black prince from 4f to 1c. Capture white rook. Break the Castle. Check and Mate the white princess.”

I cocked my head. “Are you serious?”

He chuckled, scratching the back of his head. “No, chess is a poor analogy for what we were doing, but – now that I can leave your room – ve suggest getting ready as fast as possible. Ve know you had plans for us today, but ve’re pretty sure both our plans and schedules are thoroughly derailed by this point after the last couple days.”

I sipped my coffee and nodded as he continued. “As it stands, ve need to get to Rarity’s as soon as possible. Ve require her skills for a number of reasons – the least of which is ve’d like to appear presentable tonight. Armor would be more traditional, but a suit is much more suited to our needs. Ve don’t want to be too intimidating. Such a tactic would be more of a hinderance here.”

“And what is happening tonight that you need a suit, of all things?” I asked as I levitated various things I’d need to get ready from my vanity – reorganizing them from the clutter caused by Morpheus and Castle’s disturbance.

He licked his lips – or perhaps mandibles. Chops! Chops worked as long as one thought of it involving chopping with teeth or chitin rather than the concept of a chop of meat – which was more fleshy like lips, and a really gross comparison.

“Well, I may have found at least one other changeling in Ponyville, and they may be coming by tonight at seven. I could just illusion up a suit, but that’s impolite. Ve wouldn’t want it to seem like ve were hiding anything.”

I forced my thoughts away from the proper terminology of changeling biology. I had no idea why I was so hung up on it in the first place. Morpheus was fine using the word lips when we were discussing things the first day. It shouldn’t really matter.

Except it did. He wasn’t a love-sucking monster, and yet he also wasn’t a pony.

Taking a second to organize my thoughts, I finally responded. “Okay then. Is that why you were gone so long? When did you even get back from Sweet Apple Acres? Why do I need to come with you? Who is –”

Morpheus coughed, and I realized I had started rambling in my distraction. He opened his mouth to answer, and a song came out instead. “It is, indeed, an interesting tale~ Yet not the one you’d assume~ For I was struck down before noon~”

My jaw opened and closed a few times.

He put a hoof to my mouth before I could formulate a response. “Wait! Oh… nevermind.” He removed the hoof. “Ve thought it was going to continue, but ve don’t think a song explaining ve’re cursed is what the curse wants as payment.”

I arched an eyebrow as his statement shattered my befuddlement. “Did things actually go well then? I mean, I’m smart enough to know curses don’t exist, so you have to be pranking me. It’s definitely more Pinkie’s style than Rainbow Dash’s though, and Castle said you were going to Sweet Apple Acres. Did you change your mind?”

Snorting, he shook his head. “No, it’s a long story involving Rainbow and us making idiots of ourselves.”

He tilted his head for a second, eyes glazing over, before adding, “Of course, ve’re not quite sure exactly which of our actions were ultimately idiotic, but ve’re sure Rainbow and Applejack will give you their side later. Ve’re honestly surprised you don’t know anything as it is. Ve would have thought Applejack or Rainbow would have come running to tell you.”

That didn’t sound promising. Raising a hoof to my chest, I breathed in deeply before exhaling and pushing my hoof outwards. I let go of the panic before it had a chance to build. Smiling, I half-joked, “You can’t give me a statement like that and not tell me more.”

He startled slightly, flinching at the words. “Forgive us. Ve didn’t mean to leave you without an answer there. The story is simply context heavy, and you would benefit most from hearing all of it at once. Ve were going to tell you as soon as you got up, but by now it would be more efficient to get to Rarity’s as soon as possible.”

Tilting his head, he thrummed. “Although, ve’re not sure why Castle was so adamant about not disturbing you….”

I sipped the last of my coffee and hummed in appreciation. “I was talking to Spike all night to make up for missing time with him the night I got lost in the Everfree. I promised him I’d visit every night, and I meant it. Plus, it’s been ages since we could relax together like that without something getting in the way. Anyway, if you’d be so kind as to take this and go make some more, then I’ll meet you by the front door after freshening up.”

As he left grumbling, I muttered, “He might be an improvement over Castle’s silence, but Spike grumbles better.”

Blinking as I gathered my bathing supplies, I asked to nopony in particular, “Did I just compliment Spike’s ability to complain?”

The lights flickered, leaving a piece of paper on the vanity.

“It’s always the little things, Mistress. –Friendship Castle”

Those Who Walk Among Us (Twilight) Part 3

Those Who Walk Among Us (Twilight) Part 2

Rarity has always been one to take notice of the little things in life. Granted, she often overdramatizes their absence, but she recognized what I was going through during Spike’s stay in Canterlot sooner than anypony else. Rather, she would have if her attention to detail hadn’t been so focused on finding proof to back her claim that Morpheus and I should be a pair. The problem is, even having an eye for detail, she has a tendency to start seeing what she wants to see, rather than what’s actually there.

I cringed as Morpheus – in his earth pony guise from the other night – knocked on the door of the Carousel Boutique. “You know, if the sign reads ‘closed’ this late in the morning, chances are she’s sleeping in from a late night bout of inspiration.”

As if to contradict my words, the sound of shuffling hooves approached the door, and a fatigued – but nonetheless awake – Rarity opened the door. There were bags under her eyes, but the slight slump to her posture disappeared as she saw us. “Oh! Twilight and–” She looked pointedly at Morpheus.

“Wicked Smooth,” he supplied without the slightest hesitation.

“Wicked Smooth!” Rarity continued with a slight giggle. “I was hoping you would come by. Inspiration has been buzzing in my head for the past couple days, and I’ve barely slept trying to get all my ideas down.” She pointed to Morpheus. “I’ve got an entirely new lineup planned, and it’s all thanks to you. You simply have to see it!”

Dragging us inside, she shut the door with a bit too much force. The actual showroom was as pristine as ever, but as she pulled us into the adjoining hall I began to see the usual signs of manic creativity in progress. Swaths of fabric covered every piece of furniture in the rooms we passed and crumpled sketches littered the floor. Her more successful ideas were pinned to the walls or hung from the ceiling, usually with a partially clothed mannequin nearby. Leading us into her sitting room, I found it as immaculate as ever.

Turning back to us she smiled charmingly, although the circles under her eyes somewhat ruined the effect. “Where are my manners though? Would you like something to drink? Tea? Coffee?”

Morpheus closed his eyes for a second, standing absolutely still. A few seconds later he muttered, “Feels like we’re the only three here.” His disguise fell in a flash of green fire. “Sorry, I’d love some tea, but perhaps another time. We’re on a tight schedule. I need two suits – one of which has to be finished within several hours.”

He paused and tilted his head before adding as an afterthought, “Twilight may also want a new dress within the next few hours. I’m not sure what she has available.”

Rarity tittered. “Oh really? And what would the occasion be? Are you, perchance, planning on a night on the town?”

I felt my face burn, and I started sputtering incoherently.

Morpheus, however, took her comment in stride. “No. Ve doubt it’s a good idea to go out of Castle with what ve have planned.”

The giggling increased in intensity, and Rarity waved her hoof at the prince. “Oh, scandalous! And here I thought Twilight was in denial when she said didn’t want my help. I guess she just had her own plans. Don’t worry. I’ll make sure your date will be magnificent.”

I shrunk in on myself as Morpheus blinked and looked between me and Rarity.

“Date?” His eyes turned glassy, and Rarity squeed at all the typical signs of a daydreaming stallion. I, however, knew him well enough by now to know that wasn’t the case.

She pulled a measuring tape from somewhere so fast I could swear she had them stashed randomly throughout her house in case of fashion emergencies. “Oh! This is going to be wonderful! We should get started on the measurements right away!”

The whipcrack of a tailor’s noose snapped Morpheus out of his daze, and he looked at me. “Ve’re not missing some form of context are ve? All ve did was sneak into your room to wake you up.”

The excited clip-clop of what Pinkie would call a “happy dance” joined Rarity’s giggling. “You woke her from the realm of dreams with sweet serenades?”

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, Morpheus, make it worse for us.” His eyes widened, and I hastily realized my error. “I mean, no, Morpheus. All you did was sneak into my room and watch me sleep for who knows how long. Some might find the stalker approach romantic –” I glared at Rarity “– but those ponies read far too many romance novels for their own good.”

The prince nodded. “Ah. An understandable mistake. You really shouldn’t put so much faith in those books, Rarity. Changeling studies have determined that only a very small percentage that portray love from a realistic standpoint. Most are far too biased in how they are written.”

“You mean there’s a reason they’re known as trashy romance novels?” I snarked. It was a bit rude of me, but I really did not need Rarity matchmaking for me.

“Besides,” he continued, “there are a good number of reasons why it would be extremely unideal for us to pursue such a relationship with her.”

In the background, I groaned as I realized we were not, in fact, moving away from the subject of my love life. He was just going to accidentally egg Rarity on.

He tapped his hoof as he began listing off reasons. “The most obvious reason is the invasion, of course. Not only does Twilight have history with mother, but there’s almost a hundred percent likelihood her brother would not approve for similar reasons.”

Rarity smiled daintily. “Love transcends such problems, darling. Those are trifling things compared to getting invaded on your wedding day, and Cadance and Shining Armor certainly overcame that.”

“Perhaps.” Morpheus shook his head. “But how would we manage the difficulties our being a changeling entails? The fallout from the invasion was not limited to affecting Twilight and her brother. It wasn't even limited to Canterlot. Ponies everywhere were negatively affected. There would most likely be outcries of horror if we dated. Many would assume brainwashing was involved, not to mention all the fear that would be generated over us potentially sucking a princess dry.”

Sighing, I sat on the couch, figuring it was best to let him handle this. It would let me see how he got along with Rarity, and he was arguably in a better position to refute her, given that he could literally taste love.

“And once again, those are trifling things compared to the power of love.” Rarity’s eyes sparkled as she spoke. Her horn lit up and a tea tray and scones levitated in from the kitchen. A secondary spell started reheating the tea. “Think about it, dear. It doesn’t matter what others think, so long as you’re happy.”

The prince snorted and rolled his eyes. “It certainly does matter when the Hive is on the line. Brainwashing – imaginary though it would be – would not convince the general populace that changelings are safe, and the relationship itself would bias negotiations in a way an arranged marriage never would.”

He tilted his head, tapping his chin. “Granted, that would most likely be a bias beneficial toward changelings as Twilight would be even more invested in helping us, but that would be entirely unfair to her and the relationship. If negotiations fail, changelings will go extinct, and it would not be healthy to have that issue hovering in the background.”

Rarity levitated a scone and a freshly heated cup of tea over to me. At some point, a small stage had been levitated in, and she began measuring the prince as I nibbled on the pastry.

The fashionista chewed her lip as her measuring tape flew about. “I admit, perhaps your problems are a bit larger than one measly invasion.”

I nearly choked on my tea when Rarity said that. Measly was not how Rarity usually described the changeling incursion. She could be quite creative with her descriptions of the wedding. Of course, she focused more on Shining and Cadence’s fairy tale romance and how it defeated the changelings, but every fairy tale had a villain, and she had gotten quite inspired with some of her lines decrying them as such.

“Still ‒” she narrowed her brow to gaze critically at Morpheus “– I’m sure you could work things out.”

Morpheus shook his head, causing Rarity to tsk at him. Standing still again, a click-clacking filled the air as Morpheus drummed the holes in his leg open and closed. “Alright then, if you’re so sure love conquers all, let’s try a different approach. Ve admit, Twilight and I share some key qualities that might suggest we could form a successful couple.”

I massaged my forehead. He should not have said that. Rarity would never let it go, as was evident by her newfound vigor of movement and tittering. She almost choked him as her grip on the measuring tape tightened.

After recovering his air flow, he glanced at me, most likely sensing my irritation. Rarity scolded him to stop fidgeting, and he turned his head back again before continuing. “That said, there are far better choices for Twilight than I.”

The sound of fracturing china filled the air, and I hastily cast a repair and cleaning spell. There was no way he was taking this conversation where I thought he was. He was better than that.

“Have you considered Big Mac, for example? He’s strong, quiet, hard-working, and is surprisingly intelligent, from what our reports gather. He also has the simple farmer angle going for him, allowing for that sort of storybook romance of royalty falling in love with a commoner, and one lucky harvester can attest to his abilities in bed.”

Sweet Celestia, he was taking it there. I blushed and shrank in on myself as they both started talking about stallions that were supposedly perfect for me. They talked about anything and everything – which was apparently a lot when a Hivemind was involved – and whatever squeamishness Morpheus had about changeling intimacy clearly didn’t extend to pony intimacy, although he, at least, had the decency to discuss the matter scientifically.

Or rather, I think he was being decent about it. I had forcibly tuned out the conversation after it became clear it wasn’t going to die horribly in a fire anytime soon.

Instead, I let my mind and gaze wander. Opalescence had joined us at some point and was napping in the corner. A couple of fashion magazines littered the coffee table near Rarity’s favorite chair. I idly paged through one, glancing up every so often to make sure things hadn’t escalated from friendly banter into actual conflict.

For her part, Rarity was all smiles and laughter as she worked on Morpheus. Some of it had the telltale signs of being forced, but I was glad that most of it seemed sincere – even if came from an embarrassing discussion on my love life.

Meanwhile, Morpheus would periodically fidget from being forced to stand still. It was quite remarkable really, seeing the difference between chitin and fur coats. Disturbances in his movement were much more noticeable, considering entire plates shifted – sometimes in a cascade effect – when his muscles moved.

Their conversation carried on, and it was quite animated without me taking part. Thus, when Rarity turned to ask me something, it took me a second to realize she was addressing me and not Morpheus. When I asked her to repeat herself, her grin turned predatory. She raised a hoof to her mouth and tittered, somehow showing far too many teeth. “Oh my, Twilight. Are you perchance staring at somepony’s – or rather someling’s – flank?”

I had not been staring. I had been studying. There was no way the term flank was accurate when chitin was involved, and I had been trying to come up with a better term – mostly to stave off boredom. Sputtering that fact incoherently with flaming cheeks did not help my case though.

“Really, Rarity?” Morpheus chuckled. “I already told you Twilight doesn’t feel like that about me no matter what you see.”

“But she was!” Rarity whined.

“And her emotions are currently a mix of boredom, curiosity, and now embarrassment,” the prince retorted. “Besides, even if she did, it’s not like I would return them. The analysts are pretty sure it’s impossible for changelings to love like that anymore. Spousal love stems – at least in part – from the biological urge to find a mate and reproduce. Even breeders – who literally have the word breed in their caste name – haven’t had that urge for almost four centuries. Ve’re pretty sure it’s been written out of our system.”

I flicked an ear. “How is that even possi–”

“What do you mean you can’t fall in love?!” Rarity cut me off with all the volume of Luna’s Royal Canterlot Voice.

If I had thought I could shrink in on myself, I was wrong. The only way to describe Morpheus’ reaction is that he collapsed inward. Muscles and chitinous plates folded together in the most morbidly fascinating way to make a very small lump of changeling.

“O-oh… y-you know… it all comes down to the birds and the bees….” His voice was a tiny, wavering fragment.

There was the squeamishness I had expected earlier. It seemed it was time to take charge and change the subject. “Hey! I just realized you never told me about what happened at Sweet Apple Acres yesterday.” He looked to me and I gave a ghost of a smile.

Returning it, he nodded and stood. “Yes. That sounds like a good idea. We can compare notes on where ve went wrong.”

“So you’re telling me Rainbow punched you hard enough to give you a concussion, and Zecora cursed you to cure you?” I was massaging my forehead again. “Do you realize how crazy that sounds? Rainbow may be a little brash, but this sounds like something else….”

At some point, we had moved to the fitting room proper, and he was currently swathed in cloth with a rather silent Rarity pricking needles into him. The prince was watching my reaction through the mirror in front of him.

He shrugged, causing the frazzled looking Rarity to prick him a little harder than necessary. “Ve believe Rainbow is simply having a hard time adapting to us. It’s our own fault for rushing things with her.”

“Oh, it’s much more than that, darlings.” Rarity finally broke her silence with a tired voice. “Rainbow Dash is clearly jealous of our guest.”

We both looked at her at that – Morpheus chuckling weakly. “Now I know you’re overreading things. There’s no way you can think Applejack likes me like that.”

Rarity tsked. “Not that kind of jealousy.” She shook her head. “Imagine what it must be like for her when she feels we’re taking your side over hers. She’s the Element of Loyalty, for Celestia’s sake.”

I raised my head in a eureka moment. “And if we’re taking his side first, we’re pretty much spitting in the face of her loyalty by giving ours to Morpheus. She just wants to make sure we’re safe, after all.”

Rarity nodded. “Rainbow’s always been overprotective. If she really thinks we’re favoring you over her, chances are she assumed – probably still assumes – foul play was involved. You are a changeling after all.”

I winced at Rarity’s lack of tact, but Morpheus just thrummed like it was nothing. “Yes, ve could see that. It would explain the itchy feeling ve couldn’t place. Jealousy can feel like that. Ve wouldn’t have considered that on our own; ve usually only come in contact with jealousy in the romantic sense.”

I shook my head. “Even if that’s why Rainbow overreacted, you were still basically goading them for a reaction. You might have been hoping for a more positive reaction by playing off their competitive side, but that doesn’t leave you completely fault free.”

The prince’s ears flattened against his head. “And yet when we reach the end of the day~ Be true to yourself is what you’ll all say~ What else should I do?~ What else should I be?!~ When it’s so hard to like me for me?~”

“And then there’s that,” I groused. “I still can’t believe curses are real or that Zecora actually can cast them. It doesn’t help that you can’t explain them.”

He shrugged. “Blame the Malpractitioners, not us.”

I tilted my head and putting my hoof to my chin. I felt like I’d heard of these Malpractitioners before, but I couldn’t remember where for the life of me. Sighing, I let it go. “Regardless, I’m not saying you shouldn’t be yourself, Morpheus. Some ponies can be a little manipulative and still mean well.” I briefly glanced at Rarity. “Just remember that some won’t take to it too kindly no matter what your intentions are.”

“Et voilà!”

I blinked, realizing just how much progress Rarity had made.

The two-piece suit was a dark grey – darker than the charcoal of his Wicked Smooth guise yet still not quite as black as his chitin. The coat had a small V-neck for the collar with a rich emerald ascot – riddled with small slit-like holes – adding color to his breast. A pocket over his heart had three diamond shaped holes – revealing the dark green felt lining of the coat. The coattails were similarly marked, and the cuffs reversed it – with the sleeves folded back and diamond holes in the lining reveal the dark grey fabric beneath. The pants were similarly dark grey and also had holes revealing the lining around the hooves.

“Hmm….” Rarity gazed critically at her work. “No. It needs one more thing. Wait here!” She flew out of the room, and the faint crashing of frantic searching could be heard. “Aha!” She returned with a bowler hat in her telekinesis.

Placing it upon Morpheus’ head, she tilted it slightly off-kilter. “Perfect!”

The prince stared at his reflection for a second before straightening the hat. “Perfect.”

Rarity unstraightened it again. “No, no, no. The angle is what makes it work, darling.”

He snorted and refixed it.

She sighed and let it go this time. “I suppose straight works too.”

He nodded and stepped from the stand. “Now about the method of payment.”

“Pish-posh!” Rarity scoffed. “The first outfit is always on the house.”

“And that is partly why ve ordered two.” He smiled. “Besides, I have a feeling you’ll like my offer. How would you like to be the first to use changeling silk in your designs? Depending on what emotions it’s initially processed with it can have a variety of features to mimic almost every known fabric, and it can have a few surprises you won’t find in common fabrics – shifting color based on the wearer’s emotions, for example.” Rarity flinched slightly as his grin unintentionally bared his fangs, but her eyes began to light up as he expounded on several other aspects of changeling silk.

As we left the boutique with a deal made, Morpheus glanced at me in his reraised disguise. “She wasn’t afraid again,” he murmured.

“What?” I flicked an ear as we walked back towards the library.

He startled, clearly not expecting me to have heard. Hesitating slightly, he finally responded. “You weren’t afraid. When we first met, you were instinctively afraid of some of the things I did – like smiling. They were little blips you controlled, mostly, but they were there. You haven’t had any of those all day. Why?”

I blinked. “Is it so hard to imagine me not being afraid of you? That seems a little counter-intuitive for somepony hoping we can become friends.”

He snorted. “I was expecting friends who looked past the fear, not miracles.”

I stumbled for a sec, ears flattening against my head. “Oh…. Well, if it’s that important to you, I guess it came from Chrysalis.”

There was a sharp intake of breath, and I realized how that might of sound to him. “I mean, when Chrysalis saved me in the Everfree, I realized something. Her actions and motivations were so inexplicable, it finally sank in that I couldn’t think of her as a pony. Just like Discord. I don’t hold him to pony standards.” I tapped my head. “He’s just too different up here, not to mention his unfathomable biology.”

I looked to Morpheus. “You’re in the same boat. It’s not fair of me to look at you like a pony when you’re a changeling, and I’m sorry I didn’t realize that sooner.”

“So you were afraid because of the uncanny valley,” he mused, and I looked at him, puzzled.

“When an emulation is so close to perfect that the remaining small imperfections become greatly disturbing,” he clarified. “No matter how much ve act like a pony, ve will never truly be one, yet I’m close enough to bother those who don’t realize this.”

He sagged slightly, but there wasn’t much I could say.

I could act, though.

I stepped closer and punched him lightly in the shoulder like Rainbow did to me when I was overthinking things. He looked towards me before nodding, and we continued on to Castle in comfortable silence.

Heart To Heart (Morpheus) Part 1

Those Who Walk Among Us (Twilight) Part 3

Morpheus’ claim about the uncanny valley is perhaps the most important reason for why we once feared – and in some cases still fear – changelings.

No, that’s not quite right. I could easily say that about any number of explanations, and I may have already proclaimed one as such in an earlier report. This particular explanation merely resonated deeply with me – both as a pony and as the Princess of Friendship. It was especially meaningful at the time, given what I was going through in Spike’s absence.

Changelings are different than us. They may think their masks let them play the perfect part, but no act is flawless.

Whether they replace a pony or make their own persona, they take on roles as family, friends, and loved ones. Their needs as emotivores require they be ponies who are a fundamental aspect of our lives, and – no matter how many times they beat the odds – in the end we will always notice the difference between a pony and a changeling if there is no sincerity behind the mask.

It may take days, weeks, months, or even years, but the odds stack up more and more against them as time goes on.

No act is perfect, and I don’t know if there’s a pony alive that isn’t concerned when they see something subtly wrong with a pony they know so well. They wonder what is different, or what their friend is hiding, or why their friend is hiding it, or any number of other questions.

“And you are sure we’re not overdressed?” I asked, ruffling my wings as much as I dared.

I had chosen an old gala dress for this meeting. It was a deep and dusky purple smattered with silver flecks – ‘like the gloomy twilight of a night upon us’ were Rarity’s words. It was a bit dark and wispy for my tastes, but that was supposedly the point. A silver torque held the only real bit of color in a semi-circular fire ruby so old that it was an explosion of all shades of red and orange – ‘a setting sun promising a better tomorrow’.

“Maybe?” The prince snorted. The bowler was currently tilted to hide more of his face. “The truth is ve don’t know. This ‘grandpa’ of Lyra’s could be anyling, and he could be in charge of any number of rogues. It’s better to be cautious.”

My pacing picked up in speed. “And you’re sure it’s Lyra and not Bon Bon this time? I don’t want this to become a guessing game. Ponies are going to be hurt if this becomes a wild goose chase.”

He shrugged. “Ve’re as sure as ve can be, but there’s always a chance ve’re wrong or that ve don’t have all the information.”

I turned mid-step towards him, a low growl rising in my throat. “How can you be so calm about this?!”

He shrugged again, straightening the hat so I could see the glassy eyes. “Emotion filter. It’s not particularly healthy, but if we both sat here and panicked then our individual fears would just feed off each other. Ve figured it’d be best to let you vent rather than contributing to things and whipping us both into a frenzy of–”

A small knocking at the door interrupted him – or rather my bolting to answer it did – and I noticed he stepped into the shadows as I slowly ground the door open. “Hi, guys!” I could feel the unnatural stretch to my grin, but I was resolved to continue acting like nothing was wrong.

Lyra’s lazy smile showed no such worry, and she reached out a hoof to pinch my cheeks, chuckling. “Oh, that’s so cute. She thinks she can hide her real feelings from us. Chill, Twilight. We’re the same ponies you always knew.”

Bopping my nose as she withdrew, she gave a tinkling laugh. “Except for Gramps, who is old enough that you probably know more about him than he himself does.”

That was Lyra alright, although now I knew exactly why she always read me like a book. Tilting my head I looked to the cloaked pony behind her, assuming this to be her grandfather. “And you are?”

“I-It’s me, Twilight.” Bon Bon drew back her hood. “I didn’t realize this was going to be so formal….”

“Relax, Sweetie Dee! We’ll just go with the flow.”

Bon Bon groaned at her pet name but returned Lyra’s nuzzle. “How many times have I told you not to call me that in front of anypony?”

Lyra fluttered her lashes innocently. “Absolutely zero. Calling you Sweetie Dee is completely different than using your real name of Sweetie–”

Bon Bon stuffed a hoof in Lyra’s muzzle. “So help me, Gramps, if you don’t get her under control I’m cutting your honey rations in half for a month. You promised you’d make sure we made a good impression.”

The small tinkling of bells froze me in my tracks as a deep voice hummed behind me. “We are making a good impression Sweetie Drops. Lyra’s far better at breaking the ice than either of us, so ve see no need to stop her.”

Slowly I turned to see who snuck past me, and I saw the last pony I ever expected to see. “Sta-st-st-st-sta-sta…”

Luxuriously bushy eyebrows furrowed while a lush and flowing white beard was forced into a frown. “See, Lyra? Ve told you I should have come as one of the Third Eyes to ease her in.”

I blinked. “Sta-st-st-st-sta-sta…”

“This is the fun part though!” A green blotch blocked my vision of perfection, daring to cut into the view of a velvet cape as soft as the night sky.

“Sta-st-st-st-sta-sta…” I told the green blotch.

“And I told you this guise doesn’t count. I never even spoke a word when it was my turn to wear this. I cannot and never will be able to pull off a passable Star Swirl.” The bells jingled as he moved!

“Sta-st-st-st-sta-Star Swirl the Bearded!” I squeed, causing something to crack in the distance.

My hero winced in what clearly wasn’t pain. Perfection would never be able to feel pain. “Now that? That’s a passable Star Swirl imitation. Falling head over heels for anything of an intellectual nature? Check. Ability to shriek into frequencies above pony hearing? Check. That clueless naivety that comes from being a professional scholar? Check. Senilely doddering her way through any number of dangerous situations? Can’t check that, but I’d argue the fact that she’s actually competent is an upside rather than a downside.”

I tittered. “Oh, Star Swirl. You’re so humble. You could never dodder when you don’t look a day over forty.”

The greatest unicorn of all time chuckled in a deep rumbling bass. I couldn’t help but blush.

“Twilight…”

I swooned at being addressed by the idol I never thought I’d meet.

“As much as I love the attention, do I really need to remind you that you’re talking to a changeling? I know you’ve always been enamored with history, but I didn’t know your hero worship got that bad. Besides, I’m not the real Star Swirl. More like a stunt double really.”

I came crashing back to reality to find myself subject to a lot of stares. If I had been blushing before, that was nothing compared to now as my face tried to self-combust in shame.

“I knew that….” I mumbled.

I didn’t. Morpheus said Lyra said her grandfather was living history! A stunt-double wasn’t history! And what does that even mean?! They didn’t have stunt doubles back in Star Swirl’s time!

The chuckling from ‘my hero’ was soon joined with Lyra’s melodic laugh as she slowly clopped a hoof on the ground. “Bravissimo, Twilight. Your reaction far exceeded my expectations. If you’d told me you liked the classics more than thumping wubs, I would have tried to set you up with ‘private tutoring sessions’ with our professors rather than taking you clubbing myself.”

“The wubs were a date?!” I squeaked.

I think I had meant to ask, ‘You tried to take me on a date?” but I was dealing with meeting a living legend that wasn’t a living legend during a supposed confrontation with my more contemporary unicorn friend – who I was recently told wasn’t and never had been a unicorn. The former was a personal hero I may have had a fillyhood crush on, and I had known the latter most of my life: being told they were shapeshifting parasitic emotivores that fed off of love – one of whom I apparently dated without realizing it – was understandably jarring for me. The fact that I spoke at all is a testament to the everyday weirdness of Ponyville.

“I thought mom and dad were kidding when they took those photos.” My face scrunched as I tried to catch up to the situation. There was too much jumble to even panic. Small talk became my godsend, letting me reorganize my thoughts.

The lyrist waved a hoof airily. “You’re only realizing that now? What did you expect? We were teenagers, and you were a smoldering hot piece of flank.”

I meeped unintelligibly at that.

She just smiled and winked, continuing without missing a beat. “You have no idea how much I tried to get you to socialize before you moved out here. Gramps told me you’d figure it out on your own eventually, but I didn’t think he meant you’d procrastinate all the way to P-Day.”

“P-Day?” I inquired, still sorting my thoughts via my pre-approved mental checklist. “I don’t think I’ve heard you use that one before.”

“P-Day!” Lyra exclaimed. “You know, Princess-Day: the day we got the Moony Maiden back and you started your path to becoming Glitter Flanks–”

“I told you not to call me that!” I sputtered. My process skipped a step, and I hastily went backwards to avoid thinking on that deplorable name.

“Why not?” Lyra giggled. “I have to give you a butt themed nickname like every other princess. It cuts the royal tension! Celestia still falls on the floor laughing when I call her Sunny Side Rump, and Luna – once I explained hers – decided to occasionally moon any nobles that really annoyed her in their dreams. Hay, if anypony has a right to complain it’s Cadance. Amorous Assteroid was not my best work, but it’s really hard to work with a crystal heart–”

“Lyra, can we please get back to the point?” I was straining not to succumb to embarrassment again.

“Point?” she paused. “Oh, right! P-day! Yeah. It’s the day Nightmare Moon came back and you earned the Element of Magic. All it took was one day out of Canterlot to make some friends, something I failed to get you to do for years.”

Done! Pulling my hoof to my chest, I took a deep breathe. Exhaling I pushed the last of my worries away. As an afterthought, I updated my Lyrish to Equish dictionary. I hadn’t ever heard her use P-day before after all.

Then I blinked as her final sentence actually sunk in.

“Lyra…” The warning in both of her companions’ voices was clear.

“What?” Lyra rolled her eyes. “I’m just saying she cut things awfully close. Any longer and Nightmare Moon might have actually done some damage.”

I looked between them all, eyes narrowing slightly. “That almost makes it sound like you knew Nightmare Moon was coming back before I did, but that isn’t the case, right? My good friend Lyra, changeling or not, would have told somepony if they knew something so monumentally important, right?”

‘Star Swirl’ glared at Lyra. She simply smiled back.

Sighing the stallion turned and began walking further into Castle. “If ve’re going to tell you three the tale of my little hive, we may as well do so properly. Where’s the library? Can’t have a proper story time without the right atmosphere.”

It took me a second to realize he wasn’t waiting for us.

“What do you mean by three of us?” I called far too late. ‘Star Swirl’ had already sauntered off like he owned the place.

“Umm… He meant me Twilight.” Bon Bon poked idly at the ground. “I’ve been waiting since Lyra proposed to hear the whole story. I know bits and pieces, but I’ve never gotten the whole thing before.”

Lights began strobing as Castle pulled a Pinkie Pie. Confetti began to rain down, and a banner unfurled from nowhere saying, “Congratulations! It’s about time, you two!”

For my part, I just pranced in circles excitedly. “Lyra proposed?! Why didn’t you tell any of us?! I mean, I’m no Rarity, but even I saw that the chemistry between you two would go all the way. When? Where? How?!”

Shaking my head, I tried not to shout in Celestia’s ‘Jubilant Jupiter’ voice. I might mostly hate the matchmaking process – especially when everypony insists on finding me a special somepony – but I love it when things work out. Awkward first dates, that embarrassingly over-affectionate ‘new couple’ phase, and inevitable break-ups just aren’t my thing.

Flash taught me that.

It’s still too weird between us for me to talk to him, and that hurts to think about. I miss the days when we were just friends and I hid my crush. Acting on it was a huge mistake, but I learned my lesson. If I have to choose between just being friends and potentially losing them, I may as well stick with what I have.

But that’s me.

My friends were getting married! They took the risk and it paid off, so I may have been a bit over-exuberant as I rambled on.

“Rarity’s going to want all the details, and Applejack and Dash will probably fight over who gets the honor of being your best mare – even though I’m pretty sure you’ll pick Minuette or Twinkleshine. Pinkie Pie’s probably already planned the reception, and Fluttershy told me she has the best gift ever planned for you. Speaking of plans though, what are yours? Do you need me to organize things? Oh! Maybe I can officiate like Celestia did for my brother and Cadance! Do I need a license for that, or is it part of being a princess? I’ll have to check my law–”

“She proposed after Cranky’s wedding!” Bon Bon’s response cut into mine as she ducked behind her mane. It was far less suited to hiding behind than Fluttershy’s.

“–books….” I petered out mid-step. My thoughts lurched to a halt like a record scratch. “That was ages ago. How long have you been knowingly harboring a changeling?”

“Since Cranky’s wedding!” Lyra wrapped a hoof around her quailing marefriend – no, fiancé. “It was only fair to propose and tell her about my double life as a changeling after she finally found the courage to tell me about her double life as a spy!”

She leaned over to nuzzle her companion. “Let me tell you. It made both our jobs of secretly guarding you way easier when we didn’t have to hide it from each other.”

“What?” My head was spinning.

After another nuzzle, Lyra opened her mouth to respond, but a choked gasp brought our attention to Morpheus as he unceremoniously fell out of the shadows clutching his chest.

“Gah!” He spoke in great heaving breaths. “Too much! How in the name of the First Father does it go both ways?!”

Amber eyes narrowed. “Dude! Were you nibbling on Sweetie Dee?!”

There were a couple hacking coughs. “What do you take me for, my mother? I was taking a taste, nothing more, until your side of the equation hit me like a train. You shouldn’t be able to feel that way. It’s been 400 years–”

Lyra scoffed, thwacking the fallen changeling’s head. “400 years for your Hive, little prince. Do you even try and think outside the Hivemind? I told you my family’s been here for over a thousand years. We’ve had plenty of time to heal while you guys just sit and stagnate.”

Morpheus began to rise. “But–”

“But nothing!” Lyra stomped a hoof. “I gave you my word, but clearly that isn’t good enough. I love Bon Bon. You need proof?! Here’s your proof!”

Amber – not green – flames consumed my friend, leaving a changeling in her place. Her chitin was still a series of black, interlocking, plates. Holes still dotted the hooves. Wings still fluttered and buzzed. Yet, there were countless subtle differences.

For starters, there was her amber magic and similarly amber eyes. Her third eyelids – I deemed haw to be a better term than nictitating membrane,given the chitin – were much more in synch with the primary ones, and they shuttered open and closed over their more organic counterparts with every blink. Her mane and tail were a lighter teal than other changelings’ and streaked with white – like her pony mane. For some reason I could suddenly smell lilies: not that correlation guaranteed causation, but I wasn’t sure what else could have been the source of the wonderful scent assaulting my nostrils.

“You’ve gone through the Third Chrysalling?” Morpheus half-sobbed, half-laughed. He moved forward, circling around Lyra and muttering to himself in a low voice.

Lyra was smirking confidently as he inspected her. Unfortunately, I was too busy trying to unscramble my brain and get a handle on things to get in on the free study time.

“Like what you see~” she teased him.

“Fascinating….” The prince’s voice became clearer. I don’t think he realized he was starting to sing. “To think I thought I’d never see this~ One step away from harmony~ A complete specimen to study~”

Then the questions came in a torrent of song. “Why are you blinking your haw so much?~ No harvester would do that~ Is it cultural?~ Or biological?~ And what about your horn?~”

“Her horn?~” I sang as I inexplicably danced.

“My horn?~” Lyra laughed getting into the groove.

“Your horn!~” sang the prince with exuberance, “It’s missing a joint!~ It’s non-collapsable!~ A clear sign of your self-image~”

He moved around to Lyra’s side, buzzing his exposed wings. “And the wing cases!~ Oh, the wing cases!~ How do they fit?~ How do they feel?~ What’s it like as a Dynastinae?~”

“Enough!” I shouted, desperate for some control of the situation. This time, there was an actual record scratch as the music I hadn’t even been aware of screeched to a halt. The song’s flow had fractured, and Morpheus suddenly blushed through an implosion of different shades of green – collapsing inward like he had at Rarity’s.

I caught him muttering, “Stupid curse…,” and, “I can’t believe I just did that,” and even the occasional, “...something Mother would do.”

Lyra patted the small pile of chitin. “Don’t worry about it, champ. Everypony has times where they just wanna let loose and sing.”

“You are not helping here!” the lump spoke.

Shrugging, Lyra picked the prince up and tossed him my way. “Well, if you’re gonna be like that, we’ll be in the library with gramps.”

I caught him as Lyra departed, dragging a hesitant Bon Bon along. Staring after them, eye twitching, my voice cracked. “Morpheus?”

“Yes?” the prince answered from his grip in my telekinesis.

My grip tightened ever-so-slightly. “I am going to ask you three – no, four – questions, and you are going to answer them to the best of your ability.”

Not bothering to wait for confirmation, I continued, “First, when did we lose control of the situation?” Deep breaths. I needed to take deep breaths right now.

A couple whistles and clicks came from his huddled mass. “If you’re referring to this particular incident, ve’d guess it started around the time you opened the door. If you’re talking about negotiations in general, both of us lost control somewhere around your friends finding me. By this point, I’m not sure why ve’re bothering to plan things anymore.”

“Second, what the hay was that?” I set him down on the ground as I realized my grip was getting shaky.

A rattling sound flowed out from him as he took a second to stretch and crack every joint in his body – expanding back to full size. “That… that was the curse.”

“But that–” I started.

“–affected you?” he finished. “The data seems to suggest the spell isn’t limited to us. Applejack and Zecora also sang a little.” He sighed. “The singing itself isn’t the issue though, and neither is the mild form of mind-controlled dancing. The issue is how both accentuate things. Emotions run higher. Lips run looser. Fleeting thoughts become reality.”

He snorted. “It was completely improper of us to buzz around her like that – curiosity or not.”

“Third,” I asked, as I began walking to the library with the prince following, “how much of an issue is that going to be?”

He thrummed – wings occasionally chirping out a tune. “Ve can’t say for sure…. It doesn’t seem to be malignant, but curses are known to subvert expectations.”

The holes in his hooves clenched open and closed as we walked. The clip-clopping and click-clacking made it sound as if we were a whole group of ponies trotting along. “If the price was just performing a song and dance, ve’d be done already. There has to be a certain unknown criterion that specifies what ve need to sing. Ve could hazard some guesses as to what they are, but there’s a chance that any inference ve make will make things harder for us in the long run. After all, the most likely criterion is that it needs to be ‘a song from the heart’ or some other sentiment that’s equally vague.”

I shook my head. “I’m starting to see why you hate Malpractitioners. Zecora’s one of my best friends, but what was she thinking? There are catastrophic risks involved with open-ended magic.”

He shrugged. “It’s not open-ended to her. In fact, it’s probably incredibly heavily defined in a way that makes it seem extra vague. That’s what Malpractitioners do.”

Groaning, I moved on. “Whatever. I’ll just have to try to treat it like I treat Pinkie.”

“That is probably wise,” he agreed.

We passed what should have been the library – the one room I always found without fail – to see a swimming pool. I idly wondered if it was the same one Dash commented on the other day, but took it in stride since it let me continue to talk to Morpheus. I was starting to understand Castle well enough to figure he probably wanted me to cool off.

Probably.

For all I knew, he purposely let me get lost by rearranging rooms.

I continued on however, expecting to find the library when we needed it. “Last question then.” I arched an eyebrow at him. “What’s this Chrysalling you were talking about?”

He stopped for a second, eyes going glassy. His head tilted to the side – the scritch-scratch of his plates ticking like a clock. “Ve didn’t tell you about the Chrysalling? Why on Equis would we skip–” Hoof met face. “Oh, right. As a major part of our growth, I would have had to explain the birds and the bees…. Ve can’t not tell you about the Chrysalling, though. Barring the birds and bees, it marks the most defining points of our lives. It’s basically our version of Cutie Marks.”

He was silent a moment before finally nodding. “Alright. I really didn’t want to give you The Talk, but ve suppose sacrifices must be made.”

We walked. He lectured.

“You’ve heard me refer to the various castes a few times, but there’s much more to what determines a changeling’s role in the Hive. A pony earns their Cutie Mark by realizing their passion and then taking that passion to the next level with training. Changelings, however, go through stages of... metamorphosis is the closest pony term, I believe.”

He thrummed a while before continuing. In the quiet contemplation, I summoned my notebooks from the library to make notes.

“The reason I – no, most changelings, actually – actively avoid the subject of the birds and the bees is because of the first iteration of our metamorphosis: the Zeroth Chrysalling.”

I opened my mouth to comment, but he cut me off with the answer to my question.

“It’s specifically known as Zeroth as it occurs right in the egg.”

He looked at me with furrowed brows. His face seemed to melt, becoming generic and bland like one of Rarity’s mannequines. The third eyelid clicked closed, adding to the faux appearance. If I didn’t know any better, I might have compared him to one of those creepy porcelain dolls with the glass eyes that stare into your soul.

His voice was hollow and empty – the echo lacking life.

“Most changeling eggs are blank templates. If left on their own, the larvae that emerge are usually more akin to the feral things we evolved from.”

Slowly, his features returned like a sculpture being carved. We had stopped at some point, and I was simply listening as intently as I could – several quills writing into a number of notebooks to catch the thoughts going too fast for me to reflect on now.

As his furrowed brows reformed, he continued in his normal voice. “This is where Breeders’ main responsibility comes in. Any changeling can lay an egg, but the Breeders are in charge of unlocking each egg’s potential. During incubation, they use their magic to weave together the strands of what makes us us – borrowing a little here and there from the existing sample of changelings – to make a brand new changeling.”

A small smile replaced his frown. “Larvae that emerge from those eggs almost immediately enter the First Chrysalling. It’s here they develop a spark of sapience and individuality as their connection to the Hivemind is formed. The Hive itself gives them a semi-random imprint of the personalities already stored in the collective – alive or dead – so that the nymphs that emerge can think and act like normal children. I guess you could say Chrysallis is my mother in name only. She actually did lay the egg, but the Breeders made me who I am. Even after I became a nymph, they were the ones who taught me and the others.”

I stared for a second until it became apparent he was waiting for me to comment.

“That’s... a lot to take in,” I finally said.

He arched an eyebrow. “That’s all? I was expecting more.”

I shook my head, scrunching my face. “I feel a little queasy at the idea of what sounds like biomancy at a genetic level, but I shouldn’t pass judgment if that’s just how changelings work. It’s just different. Very. Very. Different. I wouldn’t talk about it at dinner, but I don’t talk about pony reproduction at dinner either, and, as a scholar, I can’t help but be morbidly fascinated with the idea.”

“Was it really that easy?” The prince started with a low chuckle before devolving into maniacal cackling. “V-ve can’t believe you took that better than almost every changeling ve know!”

The laughing continued as he fell to the floor. “By the Hive, ve’re all idiots so wrapped up in emulating the rest of the world ve never gave a thought to ourselves. Ve fear – almost loathe – that ve are, as you put it, ‘just different.’ Do you know what it’s like to abhor something so integral to yourself out of fear you’ll be ostracized? Ve mean, the closest your friendship reports ever came was probably your initial confrontation with Trixie, but that just doesn’t compare. You never doubted the worth of your magic, just your friends reactions.”

He gave a strangled giggle that sounded like a sob had tried to sneak in. “Oh. If irony were an emotion, I’d be drowning in it right now. That talk on the way back from Rarity’s? This one here and now? Can it really be that simple? Is being ourself the best course of action? What does that even mean for a race shapeshifters who do nothing but wear the faces of others?! What masks are part of us? What masks aren’t? Ve’ve been terrified for generations that ve’d be labeled monsters and freaks if that got out.”

He continued to cackle, wiping a tear from his eye. “Not that ve aren’t already labeled such, but things could always be worse.” Drawing in a deep shuddering breath, he rose to his feet. “Ah, I needed that. And ve only just got to the good parts. Everyling hates to talk about the Zeroth Chrysalling, but the others are celebrated as highlights of a changeling’s life.”

Chuckling again, he started walking again, waving for me to follow.

“Like ve were saying before that wonderful, wonderful, intermission, breeders raise the young. They not only spin us into who we are within the egg, but also teach us everything there is to know about the Hive and outside world after we emerge from the First Chrysalling. It’s a simple time with simple pleasures, just like foalhood.”

His smile grew, and his voice became a soft murmur – the echo pitter-pattering at the threshold of hearing like rain in a fresh spring shower. “When a nymph finally realizes what they want to do for the Hive though, the Second Chrysalling begins. The castes you’ve heard me mention – analysts, breeders, drones, harvesters, infiltrators, lords, and warriors – represent the potential outcomes. You might compare it to a pony’s tribe as all the castes have different physical characteristics to carry out their duty to the hive.”

His voice fell so much I could barely hear. “I wanted to follow in mother’s footsteps and bring an era of prosperity…. Kind of a bittersweet memory now that I know her.” Shaking his head he picked up the pace.

I was pretty sure Castle was getting careless and simply making us walk a circular corridor at this point given how similar all the decorations were getting. I discreetly moved one of the decorative vases resolving to watch for it again – just in case – and ran to catch up.

When I caught up, he thrummed quietly a moment before continuing. “Sorry about that. I got distracted.”

I had been too, but the reappearance of the vase confirmed my nagging suspicions and allowed me to pay more attention. I certainly wasn’t obsessing over the card taped to the side that read, “Took you long enough, Mistress. I will continue to buy time, but the guests are getting antsy.”

The prince’s wings rubbed together, forming a haunting violin-like melody. “The Third Chrysalling hasn’t happened in the Hive for a couple thousand years…. Rather, it hasn’t happened in our Hive – the supposedly first and only one. Ve guess there’s more out there though, and if Lyra’s any indication they might be better off than ours.

“And that means Celestia was right about that idiotic contract…. Everylings’ deaths would have been meaningless….”

He sighed, and I give him a gentle nudge and smile to comfort him. My quills, however, remained sharp, ready, and professional.

The prince shook his head, snorting. “Right, I forgot you can’t appreciate the magnitude of that. Probably for the best. It wouldn’t be healthy for me to follow that tangent.”

I gave a quiet sigh, ears flattening back against my head. “Cide: translates to ‘killer’ and is used in law to describe crimes that pertain to the purposeful act of killing another – e.g. equicide, minocide, dracocide, etc. Geno: translates to ‘people’, referring to a large group of creatures that may or may not consist of one or more differing species – generally used when dealing with a country, culture, or other massive conglomeration of creatures. Genocide: use of the roots and general law would therefore suggest genocide to be the premeditated killing of a specific group, culture, or country.”

“Oh.” He blinked.

I smiled wryly. “Yeah... I wasn’t exactly idle yesterday. Besides developing my oneiromancy for Spike, I was digging into my Equestrian law books to figure out how existing laws might interfere with a proper integration with changeling society. The term might not be in any contemporary law books, but it wasn’t that hard to figure out using crimes with similar roots and Spike’s translation dictionary.”

He gave a forced grin. “Well, sorry about that, but I suppose it’s a good omen if I haven’t been blasted to bits by rainbows.”

Shaking my head, I frowned. “Honestly? I’m just disappointed in both you and Celestia. There was certainly no reason for you to go to such an extreme as a sign of goodwill, but there was also no reason for Celestia and Luna to react that harshly given the apocalypse level dangers we’re used to facing. Remind me to tell you the whole Starlight Glimmer story sometime. She might be my student now, but she kind of has the blood of an unfathomable number of worlds on her hooves from messing with time. In the end, she fixed things so those deaths never happened, but they still occurred on a technical level.”

My frown deepened. “It’s the same for you. You made a mistake. We stopped it in time. I don’t understand why the princesses got so worked up.”

“That’s–” The prince bit back his first response. Slowly, he tilted his head and thrummed before finally chuckling. “Twilight, don’t ever change.”

He looked up and off into the distance with a wistful smile. “I mean it. You have the most beautifully naive logic sometimes. It’s both wrong and right on so many levels.”

I huffed at that, but he wasn’t done. “It gives us perspective. I used to be like that, you know? I puzzled out the bright side of things – working off of hopes and dreams and ideals. It’s what kept me going in the midst of every other lord’s pitifully selfish and short-sighted ‘practical’ schemes. Nowadays ve have to make so many compromises for progress…. Sometimes ve need to be cynical.”

Shaking his head, he smiled. “We’re completely off topic, though. This tangent is nice – if bittersweet – but ve can only keep our guests waiting for so long. How about we get back on track?”

Once again he began to walk and I followed. I briefly entertained the idea of stopping him. There wasn’t any reason to walk if Castle had us going in circles, but there also wasn’t any reason not to go through the motions. As somepony who likes to pace on a problem, I knew the benefits of thinking in motion.

“You’ll want to know about the Third Chrysaling. I know you’ll appreciate this one the most. Ve were taught it was about discovering ‘another you’, but – after today – I think it might be about discovering ‘the real you’. You see–”

His sentence cut off as the floor opened up beneath us. I, of course, forgot my wings again. It was just momentarily, but by that point I’d latched on to Morpheus stopping his flight response, and that, in turn, tangled us enough that I couldn’t open my wings when I finally remembered I had them.

With a scream of terror, we fell straight through the ceiling into the library – the library that spanned the entire trunk of the tree.

I swore the floating construct of gizmos, gyros, and gems in the middle winked at me as we passed it.

My life started to flash before my eyes, only for us to land on in a bed of pillows on one of the floating platforms. The one I face-planted into was embroidered with the message, “I have failed the Mistress and accept my punishment.”

“Geez. If you wanted special alone time for ‘punishment and discipline’ with that pillow, we coulda rescheduled.” Lyra’s smooth drawl flowed into my ears. I could almost hear the grin splitting her face. “Besides, I need to figure out how to use this fascinating new info on your kinks.”

“Lyra,” I growled. “Please stop. Rarity’s been playing matchmaker all morning. I’m really not in the mood for you to do it too, especially when you’re going in entirely the wrong direction.”

The lyrist giggled. “So you’re only into older gentleponies. Got it.”

“Lyra!” shouted everypony.

I was glad everypony else decided to join me in scolding her there. It was very satisfying to know that not everypony wanted to set me up.

Morpheus tsked from somewhere in the pillow pile. “Don’t take it the wrong way. She was probably a harvester before her Third Chrysalling. They love playing matchmaker, and it could be worse.”

He let the silence hang knowing I would have to ask that unspeakable question. I tried not to say it, but it was like trying not to yawn when somepony else starts it. “How could it possibly be worse?”

The prince thrummed. “Well… our mother has a reputation as a black widow matchmaker. Couples she sets up tend to have one night of unbelievable debauchery before they turn upon each other like a female spider eating its mate.”

It was impossible not to blanch at that.

He continued, gazing beyond my horrified face with his own thousand-yard stare. “Metaphorically speaking, of course – although there was that one time in Las Neighgas.” A shudder rippled and clicked through his unnatural stillness. “She was abhorrently proud of that one.”

There were no proper words to respond to that. There was only my repeated scream of “Eww!” muffled by the pillows.

Finally, I rose from the pillows.

Deep breath in. Hoof to chest. Think a happy thought.

I was about to learn something. That was always a good thing.

Exhale. Push the problem away – just like Cadance taught.

Rinse and repeat as necessary.

I needed control here, and I was never going to get it if I continued to let everypony fluster me. It was time to act like the princess I was.

Lighting my horn, I grabbed the many and varied pillows Castle had given us. With my eyes closed, I imagined where each and every one needed to go before turning my telekinesis loose. Soft, fluffy, missiles flew everywhere around us – narrowly missing everypony. Like foal’s blocks they arranged themselves as I had imagined. Opening my eyes, a veritable throne stood before me while each of my guests had their own pillow to rest comfortably on.

Lyra had the punishment pillow.

A dainty flutter carried me to me seat, where I settled to survey my guests. Bon Bon was now shuffling nervously under my gaze, while Morpheus and ‘Star Swirl’ were exchanging wary glances between themselves and me. Lyra actually backed up when I looked at her, instinctively bowing like she had the first few times I’d introduced her to Celestia when we were growing up.

Perhaps I had overdone it. I really hated playing the princess card.

I ruffled my wings, trying to edge things back towards casual. “Alright, everypony get comfy. I think it’s time to get to the root of why we’re here.” The lights flickered providing an assortment of snacks, and the others hesitantly sat themselves. I inclined my head towards ‘Star Swirl’ to begin.

He tilted his head to scrutinize me. His voice had been gruff but energetic before. Now it came out raspy and tired. “Where to begin? You’re not the Twilight I knew as a filly, so maybe ve should start there. Reconnect before moving on? Yes, that seems like a good idea. It would allow me to use my own material.”

His horn didn’t light up so much as distort the surrounding air. It was almost painful to look at as it shifted through various colors. Suddenly, it snapped to the nice clean cerulean Star Swirl was supposed to have.

“Sorry,” he bowed his head slightly, “I forgot to reattune myself before leaving. If I don’t settle on a color for my magic, it can be a bit overwhelming.”

I waved for him to continue -- not trusting my churning stomach enough to speak. The light from his horn expanded outward to encompass the entire library. All at once, my carefully sorted books came free from their shelves. Waving his horn like a conductor’s baton, he arranged them in a large conical pattern around us.

A book flew in front of his closed eyes. “No.” Another took its place. “No.” A maelstrom of books began to fly by not-quite hitting us. “No. No. No. Hive, no. Maybe. Yes. No...”

It took perhaps three minutes at most for him to sort through my entire main library. Picking from the small pile of books he had kept. He levitated me Divining the Future Sans the Divine by Third Eye LII.“We first met at your entrance exam for Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, although I assure you it was entirely a coincidence. You were the one who was sneaking through my bag, after all, while I was waiting for Lyra to get out of her practical. It was quite a surprise to find a seven year old filly pouring through my newest thesis draft simply because the waiting room had run out of books to read.”

I blinked. “Wait. You’re Third Eye? But you–”

“–died in the invasion of Canterlot?” he finished. “Hardly. I just faked my death.” A blaze of blue fire erupted around him before flickering into that painful distortion of color and space. It finally settled on a silver-grey blaze before a slim white unicorn stepped out. “Ve had to. Ve knew there would be a thorough investigation of every high-ranking official after the invasion.”

Taking a deep breath in, I repeated Cadance’s exercise. I didn’t really know Third Eye, but Celestia had. “Ok. I should have expected something like this after Lyra, but how many of the ponies I’ve met are changelings? How many of you are there total? What do you call yourselves? What do you want from Equestria?” I cut myself off before I started to fully ramble.

‘Star Swirl’ – no, Third Eye: I had at least met Third Eye – clicked his tongue. “Hard to say. The Everfree Hive tries to avoid direct interaction with anypony of importance. I and some others had contact with you on occasion, but only Lyra met with you extensively. Our Hive itself numbers us at 2,117 with current census records – excluding the slight margin of error that accounts for deaths and newly hatched eggs.”

He stood and walked in front of me, prostrating himself – much to my discomfort. “As to our goals… they are what you would expect from any upstanding Equestrian citizen. We want Equestria to flourish because a happy Equestria means a happy Hive. Our drones often take the roles of prominent artisans or architects, and our harvesters are often famous entertainers. Breeders tend to rotate out of the Hive proper to take teaching positions, and our analysts occasionally feed the scientific community.”

Righting himself, he looked to me with his head held high, continuously shapeshifting through the entirety of the Third Eye lineage. “Indeed, we even contribute to Equestria’s defense. The Everfree Hive may not have many warriors, but ve’ve been advising the princess for a very long time – using our analysts to ‘divine’ the future. Our ‘prophecies’ have minimized the collateral damage of countless conflicts – including Nightmare Moon.”

Another burst of fire returned him to his ‘Star Swirl’ guise. “In a few rare instances we even have a number of excuses to directly intervene in a crisis. It’s almost abhorrent what claiming to be a time travelling hero does for increasing the credibility of a disguise. Most do not pull off a decent Star Swirl, yet this disguise somehow works wonders every time.”

A little over two thousand changelings had been peacefully mingling with Equestria for who knew how long. I didn’t know if I should laugh or cry. If their reveal to the rest of Equestria was timed right, this would make integration so much easier. If it wasn’t, ponies would panic on a whole new level.

And it was such a tiny number too. A population of two thousand was painfully small compared to most Equestrian towns. Even Ponyville had a larger population, but that wouldn’t matter if panic broke out. A lot of innocent ponies might get hurt from others trying to catch these equally innocent changelings.

My humming stopped. I didn’t actually have proof of that. I couldn’t just assume they’d been perfectly harmless if illegal residents for over a thousand years.

A pitiful whine rose from Lyra’s throat, crushing my paranoia. I was being ridiculous.

The whining stopped as quickly as it started, and it took me a second to realize why. I forced my face into a neutral state. Looking at Lyra, I carefully made sure not to yell. “Pushing my buttons is not helping here.”

Yelling would mean I was angry or that I was panicking. I couldn’t afford that. Lyra was my friend, and that would not be fair to her.

The lyrist sunk into her pillow and scooted closer to Bon Bon.

“Twilight,” Morpheus murmured hesitantly from my right, “don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re trying to hide your emotions in all the wrong ways.”

I turned to him, and he squirmed on his pillow like a fly trapped in a spider’s web. “You’re keeping just enough masked that all we’re getting is the panic and distrust leaking through, and that’s making it really hard for everyling here – Lyra most of all. Harvesters almost universally leave themselves an open book.”

He looked anywhere but towards me, echo fracturing slightly. “E-even I’m a little off put by it. It just isn’t natural for you.”

My ears flattened back against my head. That wasn’t good. Apparently, I was the spider.

Deep breath. Repeat the exercise. Deep breath. Repeat the exercise.

Push the problem away. Don’t bottle everything else up.

Doing that never helps: it only makes more problems.

“Better?” I exhaled slowly.

“Kind of?” the prince ventured, kneading his pillow.

“Better.” Lyra’s smile was small, but it was back. She was no longer huddling into Bon Bon, although it could now be called cuddling. “Sorry.... I’ve never had to think of you as a princess before. Somehow the giant crystal castle wasn’t enough of a hint.”

The grin grew. “I guess those princess lessons you mentioned must be paying off.”

Sighing, I couldn’t help but nod. “Definitely, but it’s kind of hard to tell whether that’s good or bad.”

Messaging my temple with a hoof, I collected my thoughts. I looked up to ’Star Swirl’ – no, Third Eye – who had remained quiet for the exchange. “You called your Hive the– I’m sorry. Can you change back to Third Eye? I’ve at least met him, and Star Swirl is distracting.”

‘Star Swirl’ nodded and was consumed by fire to be replaced with Third Eye. “I have no problem with that. The Third Eye family are my prefered personas. I only showed up as Star Swirl because someling,” he nodded towards Lyra, “thought it would be funny.”

I rolled my eyes. “Of course she did. Anyways, you called your Hive the Everfree Hive, so I assume that’s where it’s located. Where is it exactly, and are there any other Hives I need to worry about?”

His gaze grew glassy. I recognized the look Morpheus got from plumbing the Hivemind. “Ve know the location of one other Hive up north, but they mostly deal with the yaks. They don’t like the idea of what may or may not happen when they near the crystal heart, so you don’t need to worry about them. Our Hive is, as you thought, deep in the Everfree Forest, but I can’t really tell you where. Space begins to distort that far in, so the path changes if you don’t know it. You actually passed it once or twice the other day, but we couldn’t risk venturing out with Chrysalis nearby. She’s been looking for all the Fragment Hives and we’d rather not be found.”

Morpheus narrowed his gaze. “Fragment Hives? There’s more than one of you? And Mother knows?”

“A lot of the lords know.” The word lord dripped with venom. “They just never speak of it, and make sure to delete all records. The Azure Veil forbid someling wanting to try another way of life. If you really didn’t know about us, then you can bet Chrysalis never really gave up her throne. I’m not surprised really, given what she’s doing.”

I had a flashback to the forest and felt a chill run down my spine.

“Every Hive she finds goes silent. We sent infiltrators to scout only for them to disappear as well. Finally, we get a report back, but it cuts off half way. Tell me. Have any of you ever heard of a spell that lets you steal somepony’s Cutie Mark?”

His words were like ice, and I felt my heart stop.

“It turns out we actually have one of those.” He gestured to Lyra’s flank. I hadn’t really payed attention to the scratch marks there until now, but I was suddenly acutely aware that Chrysalis had had similar marks. I had just thought they were scars or something, but, looking closer at Lyra’s, they were more like runes.

Third Eye sighed. “They don’t manifest until the Third Chrysalling, but everyling has one lying dormant. Chrysalis? She’s ripping them off and doing something with them. Ve have no idea what it is or where she got such a spell or why she’s doing it. Ve don’t even know if her victims are still alive.”

There were a number of sharp distinct clicks from Morpheus as he twitched, failing to keep his face from contorting in outrage. He was holding himself as still as possible, but I could see he was holding back a torrent of motion.

For my part, I sucked in a shaky breath. Some of the pieces were falling into place. “I know of a spell like that. I don’t like to talk about it though. There are a number of reasons, but the biggest is I know the creator of that spell means well. Starlight isn’t evil.”

Morpheus cocked an eyebrow. “This is the same Starlight who almost destroyed time?”

I sighed, ruffling my wings. “She was somewhat lacking in the kind of long term perspective needed for somepony with her kind of power when we first met. In hindsight, it’s easier for me to relate. Celestia knows the similar mistakes I’ve made.”

I summoned Smarty Pants from my room. Lyra and Bon Bon flinched at the sight of the doll, while Morpheus and Third Eye looked on warily. “Case in point, I once tried to make a friendship problem. So, yes, this is the same Starlight who almost broke time, but I’m confidant she can be trusted just as much as I can.”

Wriggling my childhood companion one last time for emphasis, I banished it back to it’s rightful spot in my room. “Anyways, our first confrontation was more of a philosophical conundrum than anything else. We had a disagreement on what it meant for ponies to live in harmony as equals, and I never seriously entertained her ideas.”

I tried not to purse my lips at the memory. “She thought Cutie Marks created unbridgeable gaps between ponies, and that our special talents isolated us from others. Theoretically, her ideas had some merit. I mean, I was terrified of showing off my magic when Trixie came into town for that exact reason, but that didn’t excuse what she was doing in the name of her cause.”

Shaking my head, I looked up towards the gyroscopic construct staring down at us. I smiled as I remembered parting on better terms. “It took a while to convince me, but she’s back where she started, seeing if she can do things right. I haven’t had time to visit, but her letters say that allowing residents to borrow and swap any mark they need has done wonders for the town’s self-confidence and perspective. They’re almost literally taking time to walk in each other’s shoes.”

I frowned as I pulled my thoughts back to the present. “I’m not looking forward to shutting down her dream again, but it seems I won’t have a choice. Whether or not they are the same spell, her spell and Chrysalis’ probably work on the same principle. If Starlight can remove, impose, or temporarily swap Cutie Marks, I don’t see why Chrysalis can’t stockpile them for herself. Hay, that might be exactly what Tirek did. She could do anything she wants if she gets enough of them, but, even worse, that might be why the Changeling Detection Spell didn’t work.”

I had stood up at some point to pace. Turning around, I pointed at Third Eye. “How many of your changelings have gone through their third metamorphosis like Lyra?”

He tilted his head. “Most of them?” There was a small choking noise from Morpheus. “It usually happens rather quickly once they leave the Hive for any sort of extended stay in Equestria proper. A few like me actually succeeded in attaining the Fourth Chrysaling.”

The prince was now staring bug-eyed at the changeling next to him.

“Don’t be like that.” Third Eye scoffed at him before turning back to me. “Honestly, he should expect it. Someling – namely, my father – had to go through the mythical Fifth Chrysaling to make a new Hive here after all. How much did he explain about the Chrysalling to you? Last ve heard it was starting to turn taboo as a discussion topic for his Hive.”

I shook my head and resumed pacing. “Not much. He was trying to quickly talk me through it, but it was interrupted by us dropping in. From what I know though, it might be why we haven’t found your Hive before now, and, if that’s the case, it’s also why Chrysalis can fool the detection spell. The detection spell focuses on identifying the magical signature of a pony, but, if changelings have a small amount of all three tribes magic and a Cutie Mark equivilant, then–”

“Twilight!” Bon Bon spoke for the first time since we started. Her voice was uncharacteristically firm. “Speculate later. We’re not here for Chrysalis.”

I froze for a second before forcing myself to return to my pseudo-throne. “Right. Right. Chrysalis is a whole other problem. I think I’ve heard most of what I need to, though. If you can get me those census reports you mentioned, I’ll forward it to Celestia, who can get the right ponies involved with planning specifics.” I shuffled around, finally letting myself sink in the pillows comfortably. Cracking a smile, I continued, “You mentioned a story about how you came to be here, though?”

Third Eye chuckled, shaking his head. “Indeed, I did. I think it’s a story for another time, though.”

“But–” Bon Bon and I began what would likely be a very vocal protest. This was the point I was supposed to get my reward! Everything I’d asked so far was a necessity for negotiations. I was supposed to get something interesting out of this.

Third Eye’s horn wavered with that painful not-quite light, and we were placed in silence. “You must understand our memory has some holes. Ve thought ve would waltz in, meet the bright eyed bookworm from Canterlot, and get away with some half-remembered fanciful tale. Ve were not expecting you to actually act the part of a princess.”

He waved to the glowering Bon Bon. “Bon Bon here was going to meet the Hive in a couple days. Come with her. I was going to give her the actual story then, and you all deserve the whole truth if I can scrounge it up from the depths of my memories.”

The rest of the books he picked out thudded down beside me. “To placate you in the mean time, there were five hundred odd years I had to make do without the Hivemind after my family’s banishment. Ve believe these may fill in the gaps then and even beyond, although they are somewhat irreliable in some cases.”

The silence dropped as I browsed through the titles. Every single one was a source of fiction, and most were ancient to the point of being myths and folktales. I couldn’t help but arch an eyebrow. “You want me to use these as sources?”

He shrugged. “They’re all under various pen names of mine. I wanted some record of the truth before I forgot, even if I had to take a little creative license.”

“There’s Lovecraftian horror in here.” I deadpanned.

“Bah! Beloved Craft was and still is my crowning achievement. He has an entire sub-genre named after him. Besides, a lot of those stories hold a grain of truth” He waved a hoof dismissively. “But that’s not important here. I merely give you these knowing your studious nature.

“The real value of a tale is in the telling, and – come your visit to the Hive – ve will hopefully have a truly grand tale to tell.”

My trip to the Everfree Hive was interesting to say the least. It goes without saying I’ll need to give you that story someday.

Of course, in the days leading up to the trip, I was busy getting ready for it. Morpheus, however, was spending the time getting to know the others. He spent a quiet day with Fluttershy, and there was apparently some misunderstanding involving Pinkie Pie. Nothing major really, but you may want to follow up with him.

Heart to Heart (Morpheus) Part 2

Heart To Heart (Morpheus) Part 1

Changing Time’s Notes: For a race capable of reading and even communicating through emotion, changelings can be remarkably guarded. Perhaps that’s understandable, given how little trust they usually receive. Having actually seen them lower their guard, however, I can attest that changelings think and feel just like us. Well, at least they feel like us. It’s just that sometimes they bury those feelings deep, deep, inside.

Heart to Heart: A Report by Morpheus of House Sycadia

While I would no longer hesitate to call any of the Elements friends, ve must admit that I relate to some of them better than others.

Twilight is, perhaps, most similar to me with her love of knowledge, while Rarity’s eye for detail makes her a close second. I can show a reckless stubbornness that rivals Rainbow Dash and Applejack, but beyond that ve still puzzle over how ve can be friends despite being different in so many other ways. The Pink Menace is the Pink Menace, and ve gave up on understanding or relating to her long ago. I merely take her antics in stride and adapt to them on the fly.

Fluttershy, however, is an oddity. She’s meek, soft-spoken, fearful, and shy. She’s everything I cannot afford to be, and yet in some ways, I relate to her better than any of the others. Her ability to empathize with anypony – or anyling for that matter – gives her the rather odd ability to commune with her emotions. Ve still find it hard to believe she never knew despite being such a natural, and, while Twilight might be making a lot of progress in learning how to do the same through magic, nothing truly compares to someling who has lived with that ability their entire life.

With that in mind, every conversation with Fluttershy – even now – is like a breath of fresh air. It reminds me of simpler times, back when I was a nymph, and it was easy to have a Heart to Heart with my fellow changelings. Things are slowly changing as we integrate into Equestria, of course, but that doesn’t change that for the longest time it was quite common for me to hear nothing but the static noise of non-changelings, the insincere quarter-truths of other Lords, or – worst of all – the respectful silence from those who serve me.

Raising a hoof, ve hesitated before the door to Fluttershy’s cottage. The plausible outcomes of meeting the timidest member of Twilight’s friends were many and varied, but it needed to happen at some point. Besides, it was an excellent excuse to avoid Pinkie Pie another day.

Given a choice, ve’d much rather take the predictable chances of scaring Fluttershy over the sheer randomness of the Mad Baker.

Glancing over the analysts’ web one more time, ve found their minds continued to scuttle about. They had woven an uncountable number of threads of probability into the strings of events our meeting could take. Even now they tried to spin those strings into patterns of certainties.

The results suggested this was going to be a huge mistake, but my experiences so far had shown that even if they were certain of something, that didn’t mean they were right. Taking a deep breath, I drove my hoof forward to knock on the door.

The door responded by juking to the left, growing legs, and running away. I stared after it for a moment before shaking my head and knocking on the wall as if the door was still there. Ve refused to process the absurdity of what had just happened.

The absurdity of the moment wouldn’t stand for that, however. It decided to reassert itself as a snapping noise brought a new door into existence in a flash of light. The hinges turned to allow the door to revolve around its knob, allowing a familiar equine-ish head to slither out. “If this is about all the soapy dirt roads, that wasn’t me this time. The Crusaders should have known not to take my joke on keeping the streets clean that liter—” He paused as he actually looked up at me. “Oh, it’s you. Fluttershy said your disguise was as transparent as a ghost, but I didn’t actually think she was being serious.”

“Discord!” It was rare for us to taste something new, but, if ve had to describe Fluttershy’s emotions as they bled through the door, ve’d describe them as both cajun and chicken – a rather bizarre combination given there were mostly earth ponies that far south in Equestria.

“What?” Discord grinned so wide that his snaggletooth started to frown. “He clearly has a death wish if he’s going about like that.”

Hoofsteps came towards the door. “That’s not the point. I said it was good that he was comfortable enough to not completely hide himself from us. Do we need another talk about twisting other ponies’ words?” Like a mother hen fussing over her young, her emotions poked into the unruly draconequus.

Pick. Pick. Peck. Picka-peck. Pick pick. Peck. Peckah.

Each thought snatched at the small waves of smugness that crested the veritable sea of Discord’s feelings, while drops of cajun spice punctuated her thoughts. I blinked in surprise at the sheer complexity of the display. Ve had had a small Heart to Heart during the brunch after Twilight’s sleepover, but ve hadn’t expected her fluency to be so perfect as to allow communication with the Lord of Chaos – self-proclaimed architect of the Tower of Babble.

Ve began devoting our concentration on a live stream of our sensory information. This was something the analysts needed to experience as fast as possible, and ve were so focussed on recording the emotional conversation that I forgot to pay attention to my more immediate senses.

Thus, I was caught off guard when Discord’s emotions flared briefly before he blew a raspberry-spewing raspberry at me, leaving in a flash of light. Our mind ventured for reasons as to how ve could have upset him only to come up blank.

Tilting our head to the side, ve gave Fluttershy the two most appropriate responses. “I’m sorry?”

She sighed. “It’s not your fault….”

It seemed she had assumed I meant the second most appropriate response.

Ruffling her wings, she backed inside and waved me in. “Discord’s been highly protective of our Tuesday Tea ever since I invited another friend without asking. Did you come to join us? Twilight said she might send you out here the other day.”

“Twilight’s been busy,” I responded as vaguely as I could, stepping through the door. It wouldn’t be polite to spoil the secret of the Everfree Hive. It wasn’t mine to reveal.

I could explain our actual reason for coming, however. “I came on my own to meet you on a more personal level.”

There was indeed a tea set steaming on the table in front of the couch. Ve could politely describe its scent as chaotic, but I couldn’t quite manage polite thoughts with it searing my nasal cavities. Fluttershy, however, seemed completely unaffected. Quickly gathering the set with her wings, she moved to the kitchen and poured it down the sink.

Muffled screams rose from the drain, and Fluttershy tsked loudly. “Discord… Unless you have something nice to rewrite reality with, you shouldn’t rewrite it at all.” As an afterthought, she amended, “And, if it’s alright with you… Spying on us is rude, even if we know you’re there.”

The burning sensation in my nose stopped along with the screaming.

Putting a new pot on to boil, she led me back to the living room. I moved to sit down as she did, but my chair decided to take things one step further and all but swallow me within the plush confines of the cushion.

It was annoying yet oddly comfortable, and Fluttershy giggled as I reluctantly climbed my way out. “It’s so adorable how flustered he gets when things like this happen. You’d think he’d like the unexpected, but apparently ‘Perfect chaos takes perfect planning except when it doesn’t suit me.’” The voice she used to imitate the draconequus utterly failed to capture the arrogance I imagined him saying that with.

“Yes, adorable…” Ve managed to grind out the polite response, while looking up several less polite but much more descriptive Chitri words ve could use.

An awkward silence settled over us as we tried to think of something to say, and our emotions tentatively spoke for us in a similar manner. Her tangy curiosity would occasionally poke forth only to cause my own to spike with a curdled nervousness that was almost – but not quite – fear.

I knew I shouldn’t have trusted our analysis. Here we were and I was the one too withdrawn to continue. Perhaps ve should have accounted for her friendship with Discord more.

The silence continued until the whistle of boiling water broke it. Fluttering over to the kitchen the Element of Kindness looked back at me. “You know, you can take your disguise off, if you want…. I can see you twitching like Rainbow when she wants to spread her wings.”

I forced myself not to think of the implications to her offer. Fluttershy couldn’t possibly mean what I thought she meant. Instead, I took it at face value and dropped my disguise to stretch my wings for a few seconds. They were somewhat cramped from continuously staying in my Wicked Smooth guise, and exercising my ability to maintain long-term shifts had never been a priority before.

A soft humming filled the air as Fluttershy worked to prepare the tea. It stopped suspiciously short of the doorway as she returned – just beyond the range of normal pony hearing. Balancing a tray with her wings, she deftly poured me a cup with a dexterity few pegasai had.

There were benefits to being a weak flier it seemed.

My wings buzzed for the briefest instant as the tea Fluttershy prepared graced my taste buds. Thrumming deeply in appreciation, I relaxed and let my emotions cycle from the cool contentment of fresh spring water to the simple joy of the sugar cookie. Each flash of feeling was woven into a signal, and those signals formed a message. As the pattern came to a close, I let my curiosity through – punctuating the thought with an added question.

“I’m glad you like it.” Fluttershy blew gently on her own cup before taking a sip. “I remembered you saying love usually tasted like honey, so I figured you’d like your tea extra sweet.”

Nodding, I flicked my wings in agreement as I actually took to surveying the room rather than just uncomfortably glancing around it. At first glance, I had thought her house to be a simple cottage. Ve had, however, noticed grass growing on the roof, and, as ve sent a small pulse of our tremorsense out, ve found her home to be more of a burrow. The walls were insulated with earth, and various critters I couldn’t identify scurried within and without them.

It reminded me of home in a way – although it lacked the comforting thump of a Hive’s heartbeat – and I sighed, emotions flickering in a reflection of my thoughts.

Fluttershy tilted her head. “Oh! I’m sorry. Did I do something wrong? Is it too hot? Too cold?”

Conflicting feelings rushed through me like a storm of bittersweet chocolate rain. Ve opened our mouth to try and say what I failed to coherently feel, but ve couldn’t find the words.

“Oh…” murmured Fluttershy. “Maybe you could tell me about your home then? What was it like growing up there? Did you have any friends?”

The cup and saucer floating in my grip began to rattle against each other. Taking a second to settle them, ve mulled over her queries – particularly the last. Going over Twilight’s Friendship Reports, ve could, in retrospect, claim a few of our confidants as potential friends, and yet I found it incredibly wrong to do so.

As ve considered why that was, ve absentmindedly tossed her queries onto the analysts’ web of probability only to find all progress suddenly cease. One by one, the analysts cut themselves from the web, until only a single presence remained. The last analyst instead flew into a frenzy, rapidly expanding the web with these new queries in mind.

I winced as ve saw where his calculations were taking him.

“Oh… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have asked if it bothers you that much.” Fluttershy retreated behind her mane.

Tentatively taking another sip, I gently levitated my cup down. My brow furrowed as I recalled memories I tried to avoid nowadays. “It’s complicated,” I finally said. “Hera, Webber, and Spi never actually stopped talking to me, but we don’t talk like we used to. Now that I’m a Lord, Hera just stands there menacingly unless we need to talk security, and Spi is almost always in the field so we mostly talk through orders. Webber and I are actually talking now, but it’s just going through the numbers as always. You know, right now he says there’s a thirty-two point three percent chance that telling you I can even partially communicate with others through the Hivemind will do more harm than good? Does that even count as a conversation?”

The last analyst paused as he finally caught up to where we were in the conversation. He had been so busy with worst case scenarios that he had only just reached my most plausible response now. At this point, he too detached himself from the web, and I sighed. I had hoped he might stay, but, apparently, even Webber found the conversation too personal to believe himself worthy of.

Stupid title. I could have really used him here.

Grinding my fangs, ve broke our contact with the analysts’ web of probability. “Or rather I was just talking to him. It’s funny how he made himself scarce as soon as he realized what I’d actually talk about – as if he doesn’t have a right to know about it.”

I gave a hollow chuckle. “Probably thinks he doesn’t. I’m a Lord. He’s an Analyst. It wouldn’t be proper.”

Ve managed to stop myself from spitting the last word, but ve could not keep my emotions as in check as ve would have liked. My feelings briefly stormed through the room before ve could get a handle on them. The birds stopped singing. Mice and rabbits ran to their burrows in the wall. The physical silence was palpable as the background chatter of Fluttershy’s animals disappeared.

There was no sound.

There was only emotion.

Anger. Fear. Sadness. It had been awhile since this particular issue had been on my mind. I wished the best for those under my rule. It was why I became a Lord in the first place. We all sought love. We all sought someling to confide our deepest secrets to. Granted, while that was friendship to ponies, it was two completely separate things to most changelings. That still didn’t justify them treating me any differently because of my status as Lord.

Emotions continued to war inside me as I sipped my tea in the silence of Fluttershy’s cottage. In the end, icy dread won out – as it always did.

It was always possible they were right.

Maybe I wasn’t meant to have friends.

My heart quivered in the ice entombing it. Ve took a mechanical sip of tea. It was only polite, after all. Fluttershy was saying something, but ve weren’t really listening. Ve gave some vague response to let her carry on the conversation, but ve were too lost in our train of thought to pay attention to the outside world.

Wrapping ourself in filters, ve tried – failing as always – to approach the situation with a proper detachment. It could have been our fault. Ve couldn’t recall the last time I had asked them for an opinion rather than advice. It was such a small change in context, and yet friends sought the opinion of one another. Rulers took the advice of confidants.

My vision filled with yellow and pink. A warmth both physical and emotional wrapped around me. Filters fell, and the ice surrounding my heart began to melt as I was given a hug. Fluttershy radiated a simple and unconditional care that suffused me as if I was drinking scalding tea dripping with honey. Even with a bit of curdled milk mixed in, she tried to make it clear that I could make friends.

All it would take was reaching out.

Such a claim – via pure emotion – was comforting if a little optimistic.

My host – possible friend – pulled back and looked at me with a sadness so dry I wouldn’t be surprised if her tears could be bottled and sold like finely aged wine. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I’m here to listen, though… If that’s okay with you…” She ducked behind her mane again as she returned to her seat. “Sometimes all somepony needs to do is talk to somepony who’ll listen.”

Shuffling in our seat, ve pondered her words. Ve thought that was what I was doing. She had listened to our emotions and responded in kind, but perhaps there was something ve were missing.

Emotional finesse had not been my forte lately. There was something about the Elements that made it easier to feel when they were around – both in a positive and negative way. Maybe talking would help to structure and organize things in case my emotions got the better of us again. It would still be prudent to change the subject, though. Ve did not mean to be a burden with my visit, and the waves of worry and sadness radiating from her tasted of a very fine vintage.

Ve nodded, head moving the perfect amount to seem both amiable yet polite. “Perhaps another time. Until you asked, ve had not given the matter the thought it deserved.” Her shoulders sagged slightly, and ve blinked as I waited for her to continue. Surely she wasn’t waiting for me to change our mind.

“You can be yourself here, you know…” my host whispered. “You don’t need to pretend to be something you’re not, and I’m not just saying that. Discord feels more at home here than anywhere else in Equestria because I let him have so much more freedom when he visits.”

So that was what she had meant when she said I didn’t need my disguise.

Ve shook our head. That was a bit too much trust to ask for right now. “Old changeling saying: There is comfort in layered lies. It loses a lot in the translation, especially as it translates closest to lie rather than truth, but in the end, it means sometimes it’s better to only be part of yourself. Right now, opening up serves no purpose but to burden you with feelings I don’t understand myself.”

I shuffled slightly. “Ve hope you understand.”

“Not really, but I can try…” Fluttershy murmured the words almost too quietly for even my hearing.

Her volume rose slightly as she actually responded. “Sure… Would you like to help me with the animals? It’s almost time to feed them.”

“Can I put my disguise back on?” I asked.

“I guess…” She felt more torn than she looked. There was barely a hint of it in her voice, yet her emotions were like a piece of cloth torn in two.

“I suppose I can at least keep the fangs...”

It was worth it to get that sugary taste in the air.

Heart to Heart (Morpheus) Part 3

Heart to Heart (Morpheus) Part 2

There was a certain tranquility to be gained from tending to Fluttershy’s charges. Animals tend to feel only basic, primitive emotions. Such fleeting feelings lack the complexity and rich nourishment to be gained from ponies, yet, in their own way, they are far purer.

The joy they felt coming to greet Fluttershy and me was like sweet nectar right from the flower. Fledgling snippets of curiosity from my presence created the sense of being in a grove of freshly bucked oranges. Some felt fear on seeing my fangs showing, adding the sour tang of lemons to the air.

Like a heady aroma, their emotions filled the air as we threw feed to the chickens and spoiled the ducks with bread crumbs. No words were shared between us. She hummed as she worked. I couldn’t help but buzz an accompanying melody with my wings – even with my disguise.

There was no other feeling for the cottage than safe.

Of course, it was just as that idea took root in my mind that we moved onto the rabbits.

Beady eyes stared at me from the numerous abysses lining the wall. I took a step forward only for a series of baleful hisses to drive me back.

“Now, now…” Fluttershy cooed. “There’s no reason to be scared.”

Around a hundred carrots flew from the crevices. Their aim was true – their power not. None managed to lance through my chitin to my heart.

I arched an eyebrow, taking in the bitter hostility and empty eyes directed at me. “Demons like those know no fear.”

“Indeed they don’t!” a recognizably smug voice came from everywhere and nowhere. A small quake signaled the rise of unholy battlements and spires from the dens. Uncountable spikes and spines were spaced among cackling gargoyles and crackling runes. Darkness seeped from the burrows as innumerable hordes of bunnies swarmed from them. Their carrots were sharpened and their eyes were filled with a malice only true monsters possessed. From the center of the abominable fortress rose a tower, and it was from this tower a gold and red eye looked down on us – gaze all but burning the ground around us. A small white rabbit stood next to the eye – his gaze somehow holding even more hatred.

“Angel Lucifer Bunny the III, what have I told you about playing with Discord?” Fluttershy tsked, the cajun chicken taste returning to her emotions.

Angel waved a paw dismissively, his emotions batting back Fluttershy’s attempts at to commune.

Fluttershy waved a hoof at the small fortress of eternal darkness. “And this doesn’t strike you as going overboard?”

Angel puffed out his chest, fluffing his fur.

Fluttershy sighed, “Yes, this is tame compared to when Bulk came over, but you’re still overdoing it. We don’t want another pony terrified of the color white, do we? Bulk’s still jumping at his reflection.”

Angel and the burning eye of Discord snickered.

“It isn’t funny you two!” Fluttershy gave a dainty stomp, kicking up an almost microscopic amount of dust.

A calculated nudge drew her attention and the increased ire of the army once more. “Let me handle this.” Walking to a very specific spot, ve grinned, the sun gleaming off my fangs. Combined with the added flash of green to my eyes, I gave off an aura of murderous – as far as the bunnies knew – intent.

In that same instant, my wings – barely hidden by illusion – slowly crept from the cases I’d made for them. Ve crafted the smallest of breezes to crawl up their backs. The sound of their hearts racing pounded in their ears, carried by the wind. From there it continued to caress them like a piece of the Azure Veil. The chill of the grave permeated their very being.

In short, to the army, I seemed like death incarnate.

To Fluttershy, I was just smiling amicably.

It had the desired effect of promptly routing the majority of the army. The rest followed as their numbers dwindled until only Angel and Discord remained.

Smiling properly this time, I turned back to Fluttershy. “Problem solved. What were we here for again?”

Fluttershy sighed. “I needed to convince them to part with the carrots they raided from the pantry so we could feed the others….”

“Oh….” I gulped under the molten glare of the Eye of Discord and Angel. “I still have this.” Ve ran the numbers in our head. “Maybe.”

A quick pulse of our tremor sense found the carrots in the heart of the fortress. A few more pulses identified the weak points in its structural integrity. Estimations were made. Calculations were done. I grimaced at the results.

They were too spread out to for the standard concentrated strikes of an ‘earth pony’ buck, and telekinetic strikes were out if ve wanted to keep any semblance of our disguise.

Thus a more creative approach was needed. If ve created a series of weak yet prolonged tremors, then the interference pattern could be built up such that it amounted to kicking every weak spot at once. The problem with such a tactic was the highly conspicuous flailing and stomping required to craft such a pattern.

This time, however, ve could get away with performing a rather overly energetic river dance.

A chuckle emerged from everywhere and nowhere as I worked up enough courage to glare at the Eye. With veiled calm, ve spoke, “Did you plan this?”

“Chaos has a way of rolling the dice and turning up snake eyes in the most literal way.” The Eye grinned, pupil briefly forming a snaggletooth before melding back into something that could watch events unfold. Meanwhile, the characteristic crunch of somepony eating popcorn filled the air such that it came from right behind me. I turned around momentarily, and the sound – it pains us to say predictably – followed.

“I could just drop the disguise, you know.” That was a good half-truth. There was too much risk involved to actually do so, but I could.

“Yet how much wood does a woodchuck chuck knowing it could chuck wood, but not if it should – or even would – chuck wood?” The spirit’s voice came smoothly, but he was lacking a straight face to sell it.

Ve debated the chances of that being the not-so-subtle suggestion ve thought ve heard.

Or if it was a double bluff to fake us out.

Or if it was a triple bluff to fool us into thinking he was faking us out.

Or if it was simply the insane rambling it actually sounded like.

In the end, it wasn’t worth the headache, and ve decided not to press our luck. Digging into the archives, ve started looking for the knowledge required. I didn’t have to, of course. That thought continued to plague me as ve searched. Fluttershy’s cottage was remote enough that the chance of being spotted was small if I dropped the disguise, and yet it was enough for us to be cautious. It was even more worrisome that I was debating the merit of our disguise in the first place.

“You aren’t going to do anything too serious, right?” Fluttershy asked.

Ve continued staring into space as ve searched. She clearly knew how to distract Discord.

Concern swept over me like desert sand on the wind – salty and sweet, but also dry. Turning, I found her statement had actually been targeted at me.

“He’s just playing around. If you just ask, I’m sure he’ll give us the carrots.” Angel gave a rather rude gesture at that, but she ignored it. The grains of sand dug into all the most uncomfortable places on my chitin. Ve expected it to start itching, but she smiled, and they gave off that warm glow that comes with baking in the desert sun.

“And it’s not like you need to prove anything to me…”

There was the itching. She didn’t even do it herself. Ve weren’t sure how to respond or what she was getting at, and it was irritating for reasons ve couldn’t fathom. The dissonance this created between her feelings and ours left us wanting to scratch our heads.

“Isn’t that what redemption is all about?” Ve obliged the itch both physically and mentally.

She frowned. “But you haven’t done anything….”

I snorted. “Tell that to Rainbow Dash. Better yet, don’t. Mother–”

“You. Aren’t. Chrysalis.” Her words were soft, yet firm. They dripped with honey and wine.

There was silence after the interruption. Shuffling awkwardly, I looked back to the Eye of Discord.

“What?” The eye managed to shrug somehow. “Would you expect anything else from the pony who reformed me? You’re lucky to be chump change.”

Fluttershy sighed at his statement.

“You really think asking will work?” I asked Fluttershy, pouring every ounce of citric acid in my skepticism over her.

“Discord, will you give us the carrots?” The smile she gave Discord could melt Windigos.

Angel’s outraged war cry turned into an echo of despair as a trapdoor suddenly opened beneath him. The eye grinned again as it replied. “Perhaps, but I want the Princeling to ask.”

I tentatively kicked the ground. “Discord, can we have the carrots?”

“You can, but whether I give them to you is another matter entirely.” He chuckled.

Rolling my eyes, I snorted. “You sound just like Mother. May we have the carrots?”

The Eye gave a long and contemplative hum.

“Nah.”

“Discord…” Fluttershy tsked. “Why are you being so difficult?”

“He didn’t say the magic word.” The smugness in his reply was beyond measure.

Deep breath in. Hoof to chest. Deep breath out. Push the annoyance away. If it worked for Twilight, maybe it would work for me

“Please….” I ground my fangs.

“Your sincerity touches me.” Discord cackled. “Not! Dance for me, puppet! Dance!” With a flash of light, I was in a rather garish purple and pink kilt.

“Discord… Please….” Fluttershy’s patience astounded me. It was pretty clear asking wouldn’t work.

“Fine.” I blinked as the Eye pouted. A second later the gates opened, pouring the carrots out. A flood of rabbits followed as the castle collapsed inward. Soon all that remained was a statue of a despondently crying Discord. It's plack read, “Here lies Discord. Turned to stone by the cold, cruel, rejection of being replaced by another.”

I snorted.

The statue blinked before wiping the stone off like it was wet paint. “Too much?”

“More than I suspect you’ll ever know,” I retorted.

“Morpheus.” Fluttershy tsked, her disappointment pecking into me.

“Ha! Who’s in trouble now?” Discord gloated, pointing a talon at me.

“No pony is in trouble, Discord.” Fluttershy sighed.

“Lies.” I flinched as he swore in Chitri. It was an old and particularly vulgar variation on the intonation.

“Real mature.” I rolled my eyes. “Where did you even learn to say that? Or did you just pull it out of thin air?”

He stuck out his tongue at me. “Your mom.”

For a second, ve almost panicked. It was only the completely petulant way he gave his answer that held us back from interrogating him.

“Yes, very mature.” I muttered, ignoring the knots in my stomach.

Fluttershy giggled at the exchange. “So are you two going to behave? I need to go chop the carrots for today's feed.”

“Absolutely!” The draconequus puffed his chest out and gave a salute. “We’ll even feed the butterflies for you!”

Fluttershy paused almost imperceptibly. “Really? But you never like it when I show others your butterfly collection.”

Discord replied far too fast. “It’s not my collection. It’s a friend’s! How many times do I need to tell you that? She asked me to look after them, and I said sure, and we meet every Sunday for tea to talk about how they’re doing, all while joking about what things would be like if we ran Equestria.”

Fluttershy shook her head, smiling a knowing smile. “I can’t believe I forgot. You’ll have to introduce me to her sometime.”

Discord forced a grin. “It might take a while. She’s Caneighdian.”

‘Lies,’ ve thought in Chitri. Ve could taste the acrid self-loathing on him. It would be much too rude to actually say that, though, and Fluttershy didn’t appear to want to push the matter. Nodding, she began to return to the cottage – presumably needing a bag for the veritable mountain of carrots Discord had presented her with.

“Shall we then?” The draconequus’ grin was somewhat less forced as he turned to me.

Ve arched an eyebrow. “If ve say yes and cooperate, will you tell us why you’re lying? It certainly wasn’t rubbery enough to be embarrassment.”

“You’ll find out soon enough, little Princeling.” He cackled as thunder sounded all around us. A maroon-flavored flash of alfalfa lit the sky, and cotton candy clouds shrouded us in shadow. A deluge of chocolate milk lasted just long enough to chill me to the core before we were once again in a delightfully sunny day – everything but me was perfectly dry.

“That’s not ominous at all,” ve muttered.

There was a brief internal debate on whether or not we should follow the departing draconequus. It would have been longer if Discord hadn’t given the ground beneath me legs.

Jumping off the abomination, I briefly cantered to catch up. As ve caught up to him, ve slowed ourselves down to an easy trot – fast enough to keep pace, but slow enough to avoid tiring. Soon the Everfree Forest loomed above us, and I was about to voice an objection, but Discord turned at the forest’s edge, heading parallel along the trees. Every so often his ear would flick, and he would turn to watch something in the trees only he could see. He would stare for a moment before chuckling something about chaos at its best, scoring whatever happen on a scale of -i to tucan.

To pass the time ve analyzed the rules of said system. There would be rules, of course, whether Discord liked it or not. His scale was simply a set of elements that would interact in a certain matter, and those interactions would define how his scaling system worked. The problem for any non-draconequus was tracking the myriad of whimsical exceptions he put into it. Figuring out if ve should be using tucan or twocan as the upper limit of the set based on whether it was currently an odd or even numbered second – factoring in second zones, of course – was a nightmare.

And somehow Discord always knew which one to use. He didn’t even remember the rule five minutes after prattling it off, but he followed it with a hundred percent accuracy every single time. Ve weren’t sure whether or not ve should be relieved at the predictability or terrified at what it might imply.

“Do you know why I let you see Princess Bookie-All-Night-Long?” The sudden question startled us from our musings. The Spirit of Chaos was looming over me, arms crossed and an amused grin on his face.

“Because I stroked your ego?” I responded before ve could stop myself.

Discord gave a hearty guffaw. “It definitely helped, but that wasn’t it.” He tapped the side of my head. “No matter what you think up there…” He poked a talon at my chest, and I looked down only to have him flick my muzzle. “...I could see you weren’t a threat where it mattered. That’s my job. I find threats to Equestria through the chaos they wreak and stop them before they become big enough to merit the Elements. They get some breaks. I get some chaos and a show. Everypony wins.”

His grin turned manic. “Of course, sometimes things get through. It would be boring if a single snap made everything better, after all. I know you aren’t a threat. Fluttershy probably knows it too.”

Then it turned vicious. “The others, though?”

He waggled his eyebrows. “Who can tell what they’re really thinking?”

And suddenly he was back to a cheerful smile. “Something to think about.”

Ve gulped, mind racing. There were so many potential meanings to his words, and none of the obvious ones seemed good. Then again, this was Discord. Maybe he was messing with us, or maybe he simply meant ve could trust Fluttershy. It was meaningless to try and puzzle him out.

Ve don’t know why ve insisted on trying.

To Move The Heavens Themselves (Twilight) Part 1

Heart to Heart (Morpheus) Part 3

I’m sorry. If you could just give me a minute to compose ourself.

It is difficult for us to share what came next. There was an argument – an altercation over a secret given that was never asked for – and ve still find it difficult to share despite the dangers of doing so being long past.

You see, the difficulty with the delicate art of secret keeping – for changelings, at least – does not lie in the actual act of keeping the secret. Indeed, our natural inclination to speak in half and quarter truths means we’re quite skilled at telling secrets without lying and nopony – or changeling – being the wiser.

Rather, the challenge lies in the reveal.

Secrets are meant to be shared after all, but judging the when and the where and to whom the secret must be told in full is a daunting affair, and ve still wonder if ve made the right choice with the secret Discord thrust on us that day.

At the edge of the forest, where the Everfree met Whitetail Wood, Discord turned so fast I almost lost him, wandering in our musings as ve were. Forcing my wings to remain in their sheath, I sprang after him, but he snaked through the foliage faster than I could follow. Soon all ve had was a vague trail of the echoes of chocolate milk and the scent of laughter to follow. Throwing decorum to the wind, I frantically buzzed ahead – disguises be damned.

A saner individual would have turned around without bothering to chase the draconequus at all. Ve were certainly tempted to, but that led the risk of irritating the neigh omnipotent trickster.

Coming to a brief stop to catch our breath, ve made ourself take a more sedate pace following him. Lush earth filled my fetlock cavities as I pushed through the brush. Unlike the warm ticklish sand of the Badlands, the earth here had a pleasant if sticky coolness, and I let that distract us from our worries over the draconequus.

Despite the pace, however, ve made decent time. Discord clearly wanted to be followed given the random assortment of muddy tracks filled with fresh chocolate milk ve found.

Finally, ve came to a cliffside split by a narrow cave. The last of the tracks led inside, and it was with some confusion ve followed them in. Butterflies didn’t particularly care for caves the last time ve checked.

A few passages later and ve stumbled into a miniature indoor forest.

I stopped and stared at the sight. Sunlight fell through an enormous crevice in the ceiling, where it reflected off a pool of crystal clear rainwater to fill the cavern as a whole. Butterflies of a kind ve had never seen before rested on tree trunks or fluttered gently through the air. Their wings were an icy blue lined with a silver that bent the light so it reached even the trees beyond the edge of the pond.

The floor was carpeted with verdant green leaves. It was far too many for the number of trees around us, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. The air was full of the taste of sugary nectar just waiting to turn into honey. The simple feelings of joy from so many little creatures crushed what anxiety remained from dealing with Discord. Cackling with manic glee I charged into the heart of the cavern.

A single step in caused the floor to erupt as thousands of more butterflies lifted into the air. Their leaf-like wings glistening like they were dotted with morning dew.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Discord’s voice came from everywhere and nowhere as I ran to the edge of the pool. I barely resisted jumping in like a nymph.

“You’ll never see the best part looking like that, though. They save their best trick for very particular company.”

Shoving my head into the pond I drank deep for a second before settling down to relax. Ve couldn’t afford to amble along foolishly about for too long, after all. At least some dignity needed to be maintained. Basking lazily in the sun was acceptable royal behavior, however.

Thrumming in contentment, I asked to the open air, “What kind of company? Twilight gave Fluttershy proxy status. With her permission I could craft a specific disguise.”

I jumped as Discord’s voice crawled out one ear and slithered on a slick breeze right into the other. “I didn’t say that company needed to be a pony, did I?”

A talon came out of nowhere, pinching my forehead and pulled. A loud tearing noise accompanied my illusions being ripped off like a loose band-aid. Dense earth pony musculature frayed apart only to weave back into the soft tissue normally found in my chitin. Sturdy internal bones snapped and refused as mass redistributed back to the exoskeleton faster than was healthy. Organs squirmed back into place, wriggling like fish being shot in a barrel.

It would have undoubtedly been uncomfortable if I had bothered to pay attention.

Instead, my eyes were glued to the emerald inferno blazing merrily before me. The butterflies were shifting – azure to burgundy to crystal clear and beyond. Large wings. Small wings. Six legs. Eight. Stingers. Photophores. Anomalies of anatomy without names.

Fleeting glimpses of black beetle-like bodies were all I saw of their true forms. Small specks of cotton candy prodded me for a savory bit of honey, and I obliged with some of Castle’s excess. The regurgitated love was gathered and taken to their hives where it would slowly crystallize.

“Bits…” I whispered softly.

“Bits?” It finally started to register.

“Bits?!” There was the appropriate level of panic. “Where on Equis did you get this many bits?! Who else approached you?! What did they want?!”

“Pfft!” Discord blew a raspberry as he popped out of the pond in a mighty splash that somehow missed everything but me. “I already told you they’re property of my Caneighdian marefriend.”

“Don’t give us that!” Ve snorted. “We were using the Caneighdian marefriend trick before Caneighda was even founded.”

“A changeling trick to cover changeling bits, and an inexplicable ability to swear like a changeling sailor? Le gasp!” Discord reared in mock horror. “What if I was a changeling all along?! Oh, think of the scandal it would cause!”

There was a snap, and a burst of emerald flames covered him in poorly fitting chitin. “A scandal, I say! An outrage! Celestia would call off the wedding claiming I only wanted her for her love, and Luna would hunt me down for disgracing the family name! My mother would burst into tears and only blame herself!”

Ve stomped a hoof. “Discord, this isn’t something to joke about!”

Discord’s serpentine body continued to flail and wail in the most spectacular fashion. “Then she’d turn into father to stare at me reproachfully for making mother cry! Before you know it, I’ll be alone, unloved, and feared by everypony.”

“Discord!” Ve barked.

In a complete one-eighty – figuratively and literally – Discord bent his neck in an impossible way to look me right in the eyes. Sticking his tongue out he said, “Or maybe it’s just your mom.”

“Will you stop being so—” Our pupils dilated as his words fully registered. Once could be a coincidence, but ve would be a fool to ignore such a barb twice in one day. “By the Azure Veil, please tell us that was another immature joke.”

“Another?” Discord’s grin was predatory. “That assumes the first one was, in fact, a joke. Like I said before, we have tea every Sunday and talk about what Equestria would be like if we were in charge.”

Ve backed away from the draconequus as slowly as ve dared. Our vision began to blur azure as ve began to hyperventilate. “By the Hive, you’re working with her.”

The grin got wider. “Don’t be like that.” And wider. “If that were the case, why bother telling you?” And wider still. “Unless I stand to gain something from it.”

Skin split and shed from the impossibly wide leer. The face underneath smiled charmingly “Or maybe you should learn not to make assumptions. I also told you it’s my job to monitor threats. Why did you think I let you and Chryssi through?”

“Because you’re a mad—” Ve cut off my initial response. He had included ourself in the question for a reason. “Because neither of us are truly a threat?”

“Bingo!” Talon and paw clapped together. “Bonus points if you can guess why.”

Ve sighed, shoulders slumping. “Mother is still Mother at the end of the day. She’s willing to do anything – become anything – if it means helping the Hive. If you think she’s not a threat, the most likely reason why is that you’re manipulating her ideas of what is necessary….”

“And that means?” Discord waggled his eyebrows.

Ve shook our head in resignation. “She must trust you enough to tell you her plans, which implies you never told the princesses you met. Any foreknowledge on their end would cause them to instinctively act in a way that would alert mother and break her trust in you, and that trust was most likely tested by acting as immorally as possible to see what you’d do. That, in turn, means any and all of her actions since meeting you may have been a ruse to get a rise from you, so I can’t really evaluate Twilight’s meeting with her fairly anymore.”

Ve left unsaid what Third Eye told us, but it was just as suspect. Gritting our teeth, ve continued. “And if the princesses don’t know – an assumption ve feel is easily supported by their interactions with us – then ve can’t tell anypony either. Doing so results in the same violation of trust, which will probably result in her becoming an actual threat.”

“Good boy.” Discord patted my head.

“Why bother telling us in the first place then?!” I snapped at him. “Ve didn’t need to know. This only complicates things on our end.”

“Isn’t that reason enough?” He gave a Cheshire grin.

Ve opened our mouth to retort but paused as he continued. “Besides, mumsy dearest asked me to show you this.” He gestured to the bits flying around. They had settled somewhat – no longer constantly shifting – but I caught little sparks of fire here and there.

He arched an eyebrow. “You didn’t think world domination was the only thing we talked about over tea, did you? She’s quite fond of her bit garden here. Goes on and on about how an itty-bitty maggot used to bumble about like an idiot at a similar one back at the Hive.

I blushed a remarkably vibrant green.

“Oh, yes, she was quite insistent I take you here. Wants you to have a place you’re safe to be yourself – ‘needs someplace to plot and scheme without worrying about idiotic friendships,’ were her exact words.” He idly twirled his goatee. “Personally, I prefer Fluttershy’s, but to each their own. I know I couldn’t feel safe here if I had a rainbow constantly sticking its nose up my butt.”

“Oh, horse apples,” swore the skylight.

There was a whooshing noise towards town.

Ve blinked. “How did ve not notice… Where you hiding Rainbow from us while casually talking about a crime punishable by weaponized friendship?! What the hay is wrong with you?!”

“Everything!” Discord cheered. “I wouldn’t worry about catching up. She’ll probably stick around to give you a chance to explain.”

There was a raspy scream of frustration from above. “Motherbucking cotton candy clouds!”

“See! Go on then!” Discord waved dismissively. “I’ll take care of feeding the ‘butterflies’ and meet you back at Fluttershy’s after your talk with the Wonderdolt.” He chuckled. “I promise she’s feeling extra talkative right now.”

The string of expletives from above agreed.

“I swear if you messed up my chance at fixing things…” Grumbling, I took off with a furious buzz.

“Just think of it as a test of loyalty!” Discord called from below.

Thrumming deeply, ve cleared the room and shook our head. “A test of whose loyalty, though…”

Ve had to give Rainbow credit. She’d apparently made it to the edge of the cliff before Discord caught her. Considering all he needed to do was snap a talon – maybe less – it was rather impressive. Good thing she wasn’t faster or she’d have fallen off the cliff rather than onto it. At that kind of speed she’d easily break bones if not worse.

I couldn’t help chuckling as I landed nearby. Between the mixture of cyan and pink, she was looking like an extremely agitated cotton candy sheep. Viciously trying to chew through her sugary restraints, she ended up biting herself more often than not.

“There’s no need to go gnawing your leg off like a trapped coyote, Rainbow. Let’s just slow down for a second and talk.”

With a snort, the grounded Pegasus turned on me, lowering her head combatively. “Ha! As if some cotton candy stands a chance at slowing down the fastest flyer in Equestria!” A wave of bitterness crashed over me, and there was an overwhelming urge to scratch every inch of my body as if I’d been swimming in poison oak. “Come on, and give me your best shot!”

“Really?” Ve tsked. “You need to stop that. Calm down and we can–”

Her charge was moderately predictable. Her land speed was not – near continuous flight left us only a limited sample size. I barely managed to dodge the first tackle, and was completely blindsided by the second – partly from the sheer agility of Rainbow, and partly from the sheer cliffside anypony would be idiotic to charge towards.

“Pony feathers!” Rainbow swore as we both went over.

Our own string of expletives was much longer, a veritable mental algorithm of obscenities far too rude for me to ever say out loud. I would have died of shame from some of them if it weren’t for the fact that ve were slightly busy saving us both.

Ve managed to not instinctually open our wings immediately, allowing us to grab hold of the plummeting prismatic pegasus beside us. All the impertinant details of our surroundings were blocked out as ve began to assess the situation. A quick estimation told us there wasn’t enough time to prevent a painful transfer of energy with the ground, and leveling off would only result in a similarly painful transfer with a tree. Exact chances of injury and lethality were subject to large margins of error, which didn’t inspire any confidence. Thus, ve took the only logical route to preventing any and all crashing by flying straight down.

This served two completely different purposes.

The first was gaining additional momentum. More momentum and a clever use of portal magic meant a taller arc being projected back upwards, which in turn would let us have a do-over with more time.

The second was to ensure the crash landing ve were averting would hypothetically be lethal enough to merit full access to our magic. It would be quite embarrassing to die from something as silly as playing the hero over a fall that had a one in twenty chance of resulting in nothing but a bruised body and ego.

Of course, our perfectly logical decision flew in the face of everything most pegasus flyers knew of flying. Headbutting us in a desperate attempt not to become a pony pancake was only natural. Having learned the hard way how capable Rainbow was at administering head injuries, however, ve were able to avert complete disaster via rearranging the density of our chitin.

With a grim countenance as hard as steel, ve plummeted through the ring of fire into the abyss between worlds – only to launch back upwards out of the other portal five feet to the left. At the peak of our new height, the string of obscenities Rainbow had been spouting stopped. From our place in the heavens, we both had the perfect view of Equestria.

“This is... nice….” Rainbow ventured.

“One could say that….” Ve hesitated to respond.

“Warn me next time you’re gonna pull a stunt like that, alright?” She smiled awkwardly.

“Certainly,” I said. Yes, the fall was certainly taking an annoyingly long time to reassert itself.

“Good.” Rainbow nodded. “You almost killed us both with that. I was about to level us off when you started accelerating downwards.” The wings that had been exerting such fine control of the air that ve hadn’t realized she’d been hovering us snapped closed.

“When did you manage to free your–” I began as freefall resumed.

“Intermissions over, flyboy! Round 2 go!” I was interrupted when Rainbow bucked me in a spot most males would cringe over.

The discomfort could humbly be described as a five out of ten. Ve had reviewed significantly more painful memories over the years. This was nothing compared to alicorn-powered love shields and oviparous birth.

There was the expected pain of displaced organs – similar to what comes from being bucked in the stomach. I was at least lucky enough not to be in disguise – and thus currently not subject to a certain risk involved with typical male pony anatomy. Most of the discomfort came from the fact that a high-density face meant a low-density everything else. The much softer and pliant chitin down there folded quite easily for her hoof.

Five out of ten was still easily painful enough for one of the more embarrassing forms of Hive regression. To my eternal shame, ve began to emit a severe amount of extremely vulgar cathartic vocalizations, and the string of obscenities ve had been thinking silently until this point became very apparent as we began to plummet for the second time. Several lifetimes worth of very salty sailors passed before our eyes, and our wings buzzed erratically in an attempt to adapt to the unforeseen complication.

“This. Is. So. Awesome!” Rainbow Dash for her part was far past any sour feelings of fear and was whooping with glee. Having achieved what ve can only assume was an adrenaline high, her emotions had the fizzling burn of pop rocks turned up past eleven all the way to twelve.

It was only as we neared the ground it occurred to us ve no longer needed to fly for two ponies. Pushing away from Rainbow, ve just managed to clip the ground and avoid a full collision. I rose somewhat shakily only to fall back down. “Flea-bitten nymph of a widow spider! What do I have to do to get through to you?! I’m not some mindless feral! Hit me for trying to help again, and I’ll do more than let you fall! They’ll find you strung in my web babbling pathetically for more. My brood shall stalk your family line for generations to come, and leave a trail of broken hearts! Equis shall know the true dishonor of— Why are you laughing?!”

Rainbow had looped around elegantly once released, landing with the practiced ease of one whose life consisted mostly of controlled falling. “You sound like a chipmunk!” She was currently on the ground rolling with much less grace in mirth, naively swearing vengeance on her enemies in horribly butchered Chitri.

Rising much more fluidly than I did, she held out a hoof. After helping me up, I was pinned – gently – to a nearby tree. “That was probably the third most awesome thing I’ve done this week, so you get thirty whole seconds to explain what I saw.”

“A slow week, I see,” I deadpanned.

“I know, right?” She responded not missing a beat.

Snorting briefly in amusement, ve began to thrum in thought.

“Twenty seconds left to talk, fly boy.” The hint of spice in the air was delicious. Ponies were crazy to think pepper-dusted cotton candy would taste horrible.

“Ten seconds left! Don’t leave me hanging.” Her grip tightened. It was tempting, given what I’d had to put up with, but there wasn’t any real benefit in doing so.

“Five…”

“Four…”

“Three…”

“Two and a half…”

Ve shattered her delusional little mask. “Hypothetical situation: If everypony but you only pretended to accept Luna – rather than actually forgiving her – would you feel obliged to tell her the truth?”

“I— What?” It seemed I’d struck a nerve. Fine wine, sour milk, and the many other nuances that came from being asked a question with no good answer filled the air.

Ve pressed on. “If you had to choose between telling Luna that everypony but you and Celestia hated her for becoming Nightmare Moon, would you tell her?”

Rainbow shoved her muzzle in my face. “What kind of question is that?! It’s not like any pony feels that way.”

“Luna’s first Nightmare Night begs to differ,” ve shook our head, “but an obsolete past doesn’t matter here. Hypothetically, if everypony secretly hated or feared Luna, would it be better to tell her so she could fix her image? Or would it be better to let her be happy in ignorance?”

“...It’d be better to tell her the truth?” Rainbow hesitated.

Ve tilted our head. “And what if you knew there was a chance telling her would bring back Nightmare Moon?”

“Luna would never do that to us.” Rainbow snarled.

“She did it once before, and can do it once again no matter how small the chance is.” I sighed. “I don’t seem to be getting through, though, so let me try it this way. Mother would do anything for the Hive, even end millennia worth of secrecy in a desperate attempt to secure food.” I gestured to myself. “I would do anything for the Hive, including signing my own potential death warrant to secure aforementioned food.” I pointed to her. “You would do anything for your friends, including assaulting a diplomat who is here in peace.”

I rolled my eyes. “All of us are loyal to the point of stupidity. So what are we supposed to do when faced with conflicting loyalties?”

Rainbow leaned her head back with a whiney of distress, ears flattening at the question as if such an action could retroactively stop her from hearing it. The medley of emotions she was emitting was sharp enough to give me heartburn.

It occurred to us that maybe ve’d made a mistake here. Her actions so far had seemed black and white. Ve had assumed she was simply being blindly loyal to her friends – maybe a little jealous as Rarity suggested. Now ve were starting to wonder how big her brash facade really was. The old reports of her Best Young Fliers Competition had shown severe levels of insecurity in flight skill, but there had never been any evidence of insecurities over her very Element of Harmony.

Current behavior was suggesting a possibly unhealthy amount of rumination on the subject, though, and ve had been the one to very callously brought it up. There was nothing to do but charge forward. Backing out now would just cause more problems down the line, so ve didn’t allow her the space to retreat, pushing our head forward ve kept our faces muzzle to muzzle. Our gaze bored into her eyes. Ve needed to display utmost confidence if this was going to work. There was a difference between doubting and questioning that ve needed to convey.

“How do I choose between the friends I’m trying to make, the Hive ve’re sworn to rule, and my family – evil as Mother may be?” It wasn’t a question she could answer.

“I don’t…” The last bit of itchiness faded.

Ve cut her off – using our size to tower over her temporarily. “You don’t know?” Ve shook our head – shifting such that I almost seemed to deflate down to a normal height as I sighed. “Well, I don’t know either, but at least I’m trying. That’s all anypony can do, and I’m pretty sure you know that already. Is that a good enough reason for you?”

“Sorry…” Rainbow released me, shoulders slumping, “...For everything….”

I took a breath, and ve schooled our emotions. “It’s okay. When the others ask why we stumbled out of the forest black and blue all over we’ll just laugh it off and say we’re cool.” I forced a chuckle as I continued. “If they want to press things, we can give them vivid details with so many dubious double meanings that they’ll beg us to stop.”

A wing wrapped in several layers of dirt and sugar thwacked the back of my head and promptly stuck to it. “I have a marefriend, flyboy. None of that unless she’s in on it.”

“Exactly.” Ve nodded. “Maybe make it more suggestive. It’ll be so off-putting they won’t want to know the truth. Ve’ll even shift into Applejack if you think it’ll help.”

The other wing followed.

Ve tsked. “Perhaps it would be prudent to clean first. Ve don’t want to make such a big scene that they actually think we did anything. Walking out like some beast with two backs might cross that line.”

“Sonic Swan Dive!” Rainbow screamed with the opposite of grace as she flew straight into the lake with nary a ripple. As she climbed out of the depths, she shook herself dry – taking extra care to soak me in the process.

Glaring at her display, ve rolled our eyes. “Why did you headbutt me for flying straight at the ground when you’re perfectly willing to plow headfirst into it at supersonic speeds all on your lonesome?”

“You aren’t the best flyer in all of Equestria.” She stuck her tongue out at me as she settled down to sunbathe on a rock. “Besides, we were in the middle of a scrape. I had to take what shots I could.”

“Is that why you pulled that cheap shot to the groin?” I arched an eye as I settled in the lake to soak rather than simply clean. Only the tip of my head remained above. A small heat spell gave the water around me just enough warmth to seep all the way into my chitin.

She snorted, rolling over to warm her other side. “It can’t be fighting dirty if you’re not packing heat. I read Twilight’s notes to find all your weak points. That shouldn’t have hurt in the slightest.”

I tried to stomp a hoof and merely caused a splash. “Then why bother?”

“Well, I had to hit you somewhere for that stunt you pulled.” She smirked.

A quick shift in my respiratory system gave me gills so I might sink even lower.

Her smirk morphed into a frown. “It didn’t hurt, right? You’re one of those Lord things. You’re supposed to be tough to hurt.”

Blowing some bubbles, I briefly rose back up. “It didn’t hurt as much as it could have, ve suppose. Ve had no idea you had no intent to harm at that point, though. Perhaps you should come up with a safe word – or rather the opposite of one. It’d be nice to have a warning if you keep planning to jump me.”

Rainbow rolled upright again, stretching her wings. “Only if Applejack says yes.”

Surfacing again, I cocked my head. “We are still talking about sparring, right?”

“You started it, fly boy.” She flared her wings. “Now get over here and help me preen.”

I swam farther into the lake. “Yeah, no. I’m not that kind of changeling.”

“Urgh…What are you my grandma?” She rolled her eyes. “Get with the times, Mo. It’s perfectly proper to platonically preen pegasai ponies.”

“Rarity fed you that line didn’t she.” It was a statement, and ve idly wondered whether or not it was wise to let Rainbow in on the prank.

Rainbow cocked her head. “Well, yeah, how’d you know? She walked in on me and Fluttershy once and I totally freaked. You can guess why I thought she would get the wrong idea, but she was totally cool with it.”

She shrugged. “Kind of a relief. I like preening, and I’m really good at it. Now I preen almost every pegasus in town at least once a month.” She smirked again. “They even fight over who I get to preen next. I’m just that awesome at it.”

Slowly trailing her tongue down a primary, it took on an oily sheen. A quick nip and pull straightened the feather. Peeking up from her work, she grunted. “So, you helping or what? I’m totally not going to be able to get the last of the cotton candy on my own. That stuff gets everywhere.” Another nip and a slow arching pull left a wet and sticky string of sugar trailing from her muzzle.

Shuddering, I reversed the heat spell on the water around me. I might not technically have been a stallion currently, but there was a comfort to be had in following social protocol and distracting myself from the incredibly improper display before me. Taking a deep breath, ve decided something had to be done

“Yeah… About that…”

As it turns out, there is actually such a thing as platonic preening. It’s simply a matter of presentation, something Rainbow was quite thorough in educating us on. Equestria’s remarkably progressive like that – barring some of the older cloud cities like Cloudsdale. It was apparently something the Harvesters hadn’t been very keen on mentioning in their reports. Upsetting but understandable, given how some of the more old-fashioned Lords in the Hive reacted to the news that I personally preened Rainbow Dash.

As for the rest of the day, it was nice and quiet. Rainbow headed back to Fluttershy’s with me, nopony pressed exactly what went on between us, and Rainbow even showed some tact by not immediately blurting what she’d overheard about Discord and Mother.

All in all, it worked out rather well.

To Move The Heavens Themselves (Twilight) Part 3

To Move The Heavens Themselves (Twilight) Part 2

We were to meet partway into the Everfree. Third Eye had stopped by several times to give me an increasingly lengthy series of steps to follow. The appropriate checklist was made, and I had had Rainbow reschedule the weather to fog upon his request.

It should have been a simple trek to the meeting spot, but Mayor Phi’s Law exists for a reason. What can go wrong will go wrong, although it was a thankfully small hiccup.

I gasped as the mini-sun around my horn burned out. The earth resonated with the retreating steps of a crisis narrowly averted, and I had scarcely ever been as happy for two things to have gone simultaneously wrong. Thankfully – or not, as the case may be – I could now claim to have stopped not one, not two, but three star beasts in one fell swoop. Granted, Aquariai were about as dangerous as a sea cucumber when not hosting Pisces, but this one was, and I was very happy that the Ursa Major had left with the offered tribute of an ever-flowing urn of astral fish.

“You can come out now!” I called into the trees.

“Are you sure?” whimpered an understandably terrified colt.

“Yeah, bucko, she’s sure.” Rainbow all but pushed the pink pegasus from the tree she’d been watching him from. “You just had to pick a spot too high for the others to help, though, didn’t you? Do you have any idea how cool it would have been to take on an Ursa Major and live?” She glared at Morpheus in his Wicked Smooth guise. “But, no, I got guard duty.”

“Would you have rather taken it on alone while the alicorn stood back to watch the foal?” Morpheus retorted as he and Rarity emerged from the brush. “Neither me nor Rarity are pegasai.”

Rarity tittered. “Quite right. Although, I admit I do have a few dress designs just in case the rest of us start sprouting wings and horns. Twilight did, after all.”

“Actually, I was kind of alright with just watching.” With nothing to fear, all the adrenaline coursing through his body just had to mean he was excited. He had this big dopey grin on his face that seemed all too familiar.

“You’re Snails’ little brother aren’t you?” Hoof met face.

“Yeah, I’m Wormtail! How’d you know?!” He squeaked.

“You have similar tastes,” I deadpanned. “What were you doing out here?”

He scuffed the ground. “Fishing and stuff.”

I stared into his soul with Celestia’s Disapproving Dione. I wasn’t letting him get away with such vagueness, and my countenance held all the sternness of a giant glaring at one of it’s many children. For Saturn was a busy planet and gave discipline accordingly.

He wilted accordingly, and I soared internally at my success. That was the first time I had managed not to trigger emergency puppy dog eyes. He started looking at anywhere other than me and spilled. “Applebloom said it might get me my cutie mark, since I like it so much.”

“And you took that to the extreme, of course.” I sighed. My beautifully organized checklist had been thoroughly soaked and trampled. “Okay…. I hate to say it, but one of us has to take him back to town, and it can’t be me. Rarity, would you—”

“Hello!” A cry filtered down from above. “Wormtail, honey?! Are you there?!”

“Mom!” Wormtail tried and failed to flitter upwards, only to land with an exhausted thump. A green pegasus came down through the canopy and enveloped him in a hug.

“I’m so sorry, Princess!” The mare turned to me. “I didn’t think he was serious when I overheard him talk about going to the Everfree.”

“It’s okay.” I soothed the panicked pegasus. “Just get him back to Ponyville.”

The mare continued to babble apology after apology as she flew into the distance, circling back once or twice for good measure. We stood in silence for a few seconds to make sure she was gone. Finally, Morpheus broke it. “A little too coincidental to be believable: There’s an excellent chance our host sent someling to run interference. Any pony want to bet that was Lyra?”

Rainbow shrugged. “Sure. I got ten bits to spare, and there’s no way Lyra left Bon Bon with that Ursa stomping through. It was probably some random underling.”

“Underling?” Morpheus chuckled in a deep, dark buzz. “Third Eye didn’t strike me as that kind of Lord. If he was, ve’d have bet that was a test of skill and adaptability.” He tilted his head so fast it caused an alarming clacking noise, and he tapped a hoof to his chin. “Then again, our data on him is limited. Maybe it was an expendable.”

“Dude, there’s joking, and there’s just plain morbid.” Rainbow lightly thwapped the prince with a wing. I smiled at the exchange. It seemed Rainbow was acclimating to him quite quickly now that they’d settled things between them.

“Remember the safe word, Dash.” Morpheus cackled, dodging several more wing slaps. It was comments like that, however, that made me wonder exactly how they settled things. It had to have been incredibly embarrassing given Rainbow’s blush, but I figured if anything too bad had happened Rainbow would have told me.

“Did you have to say it like that?” Dash pulled back into the air, darting about like she was looking for an opening.

“Of course.” Morpheus bowed of all things, and Rainbow snorted in what looked to be an odd mix of exasperation and amusement. “The rules our little game all but demand it.”

Rarity tittered, watching the the exchange with sparkling eyes. I groaned inwardly, knowing that look all too well. I sighed, and she saw me doing so, and the titter became outright giggling.

“You wanna go then, flyboy?” Rainbow landed, flaring her wings and blowing leaves and sticks everywhere.

“Only if we skirmish on the go.” Morpheus’ head was tilted at the most arrogant angle imaginable. “We are on a mission, after all. I’d expect loyalty to remember that.”

“Oh, it is on!” Rainbow leapt forward. “The safe word is pineapple! One! Two! Three! Go!”

Morpheus, thankfully, fled the direction we were supposed to be going. Rainbow charged after him, blowing sticks, leaves, and other debris everywhere. The sounds of Morpheus playfully taunting the speedster could be heard amongst reckless crashing. I had to admit I was impressed with the prince. He knew exactly which of Rainbow’s buttons to press to go almost but not-quite too far. Even that last remark. It should have been way over the line, yet there was just something to his timber and tone that conveyed no ill intent – a sort of bubbly warmth to the buzzing echo, like laughter in the background. They were going to attract more predators if they kept it up, though.

That or scare them all away.

I sighed again, turning to Rarity. Her eyes just glittered with mirth, eyelashes fluttering as she stared at me expectantly. “Not one word on some sort of forbidden love triangle.”

Rarity giggled again as we moved onwards at our own pace. “Technically, it’d be a quadrilateral with Applejack, but we both know Rainbow would rather die than break her heart.”

“What a happily ever after that would be.” I flinched at the venom in my voice, and Rarity gave me a comforting nudge. “Sorry…. You’re just romanticizing, I know. Just please don’t phrase it like that.”

“Darling, you aren’t still sore about Flash are you?” Rarity levitated most of the debris from Rainbow and Morpheus’ roughhousing to the side as we started onwards at a much more leisurely pace. I could hear them scuffling on ahead. The sound of wood cracking on chitin was common.

My tail flicked involuntarily. “This isn’t the time or place for this, Rarity.”

“I would think with lives such as ours any time and place would work.” The fashionista shrugged. “We go adventuring so much, I have prepacked saddlebags for any number of climates, countries, and even times – complete with proper clothes for the occasion and a number of sketchbooks to pass the time.”

I blinked.

“Don’t look so surprised, darling. It made for a marvelous side project when I needed to drum up inspiration.” Rarity flashed a smile, and her eyes gleamed with excitement. “I call it ‘Around the World in Eighty Dresses’ – although there’s so much more to it by now. Regardless, my point stands. Trouble’s the norm for us. Why isn’t this the time and place for small talk?”

“Prying into my love life isn’t small talk, Rarity.” I huffed.

She shrugged again, making a face at a wad of wood stuck together in a goopy green mess. “I’m just a concerned friend right now. Pinkie Promise.” She made the sacred motions, and I swore I heard an echo of pink laughter. “I really need to know you’re not still hung up on Flash, though. I never would have tried to play matchmaker if I thought you weren’t ready.”

I sighed, smiling wistfully. “No, Rarity. I understood really. He was a guard: I should have expected him to think like that. I mean, Shining sometimes jokes he’d die once for the nation and twice for Cadance, crawling back from the grave to croak again if needed.” I slumped from a trot to more of a shuffle. “I got used to the idea a long time ago, but that doesn’t mean I want ponies dying for me – neither friend, nor random guard, and especially not a special somepony.”

I shook my head. “No, if true love means being ready to die for your special somepony, I’d rather stick with friends.”

Rarity tutted, even as she pulled me in for a quick hug. “Darling, if you’d ever bother to read those so-called ‘trashy’ romance novels – the ones I recommend to you because they aren’t trash. You’d know there’s all kinds of romances. Goodness gracious, our love-eating friend could probably give you pages on it.”

I stared at her like she’d grown a second head. “But that makes it sound like there’s no such thing as true love.”

Rarity tittered. “Darling, true love is what you make of it. Plenty of romance novels have age old friends fall in love for a reason. Sometimes simply having a friend beyond all others is enough – no gallant knights nor passionate nights, only somepony who never leaves your side. Why do you think I only try to matchmake you with friends?”

“You tried to matchmake me with Morpheus not even a week after I met him.” I deadpanned.

“Sometimes I get a little overenthusiatic.” She held a hoof up to hide her grin.

“Maybe you’re right then, Rarity.” I smiled slightly in return. “I’ll give it some thought, but that just means you shouldn’t try to set me up any more. Friendships happen naturally, right?”

She pouted heavily, lifting a hoof to her chest. “You wound me deeply, darling.” She practically purred the word ‘darling.’ “Suggesting my actions are so tactless as to be unnatural? I assure you that I am a professional. You’ll never even see my actual move.”

I chuckled. “Sure, keep saying that.”

“Victory is mine!” cackled a voice from ahead, as the sound of crashing was punctuated by a loud crunch. Muffled silence followed. I could make out that they were talking ahead, but it was too quiet to hear.

“He slips quite well into the roll of a cliché villain….” Rarity mused. “A natural thespian, although I suppose that’s to be expected.”

I rubbed the back of my head sheepishly. “Honestly, I’m not so sure. The others got suspicious of that Snow Flurry disguise really quickly, remember?”

“Ah, but he wasn’t born to play that role.” Rarity declared, gesturing to herself. “I can act like a Canterlot noble without a hitch, but we both know how trying to act the rustic farmer with Trenderhoof turned out.”

“He wasn’t born to be a villain.” My face scrunched.

“Oh, I wouldn’t say that.” Rarity carefully pulled some brush to the side. “I mean, he’s grown on me, and he’s certainly not a bad egg by any means, but who knows what plans Chrysalis had for him.”

I grumbled unintelligibly in response.

Stepping into the clearing where we were to meet our hosts, we found Rainbow pinned under a pile of branches that were coated heavily in green goo. She glared at us, pouting. The unspoken dare to comment was almost palpable. Morpheus, meanwhile, was lounging in the tree above her. His disguise was down, and he looked into the distance with glassy eyes – probably looking through the Hivemind as he waited for us.

I had so many questions.

“He cheated.” Rainbow sulked.

“Ve did no such thing.” The prince idly kicked the air as he stared into space. “You were expecting me to fight directly, like a Warrior, so ve fought indirectly, like an Infiltrator, instead.”

Rarity and I took to freeing Rainbow as she bemoaned her loss with a raspy whine. “He ran away, threw dirt in my face, and somehow found time to set traps.”

“Simple levitation on the move Rainbow,” the prince interjected. “They also weren’t really traps. I just used the existing surroundings to my advantage.”

“I’m pretty sure this is a trap,” I said, lifting a particularly sticky branch. It certainly looked like one. While the Everfree was a very mysterious place, I could not imagine that it randomly conjured the oddly stringy yet gooey strands pulsating between the branches. It was clearly the same substance his web was made of.

Granted, we were here because of changelings living in the Everfree, but that was an entirely different matter.

Morpheus shrugged, briefly looking at his work. “That one was a trap. Ve ran us both in circles, coming back here repeatedly to gain time to prepare.”

Rainbow grumbled as Rarity pulled another branch with a squelching pop. The fashionista’s face turned green, and she quickly chucked it into the undergrowth. “At least this ghastly stuff isn’t sticking to you, darling.” We pulled the last few branches off in one go to find Rainbow was in fact spotless if smelly underneath everything.

The prince finally hopped down, holding a hoof out to Rainbow to help her up. “I figured if ve were going to go through all the trouble of trapping you in my web the least we could do is keep it feather-friendly. With a little digging, ve found how to make it dissolve with salt water.” He bared his fangs in a grin. “Ve just wanted you to sweat it out – figuratively and literally.”

“Jerk.” Rainbow knocked his hoof away with a wing. Standing up, she held her hoof out. “Thanks for not messing with the wings, though.”

They hoof bumped as Morpheus chuckled. “Wouldn’t dream of it after the other day.”

So. Many. Questions.

I opened my mouth to inquire, but Dash suddenly hissed – ears clamping down. “Sweet Luna, that stings! Mo, tell them to shut up!”

I blinked as Morpheus’s ear twitched, and he cocked his head to the side. His wings flicked – muttering something – and a small breeze met my ear. I whinnied in surprise as his voice filled my ears like he was right behind me. “First, if you want Twilight to give the signal, ask her yourself.”

“But that defeats the point!” Lyra’s voice hit me like a symphony of anvils and blacksmiths. Rainbow groaned in response.

Rarity – ever the lady – gave a similar if less extreme reaction as the prince flicked his wings again. “Second, it’s impolite not to include everypony. It’s still breaking protocol to ask just me to prompt her. I’m not a member of your Hive.”

“But—” My own ears splayed back at the volume.

“Third,” Morpheus interrupted, “please stop yelling. The wind sense is meant to carry whispers. You’re going to give us all migraines.” He looked to Rainbow who was messaging her head. “Also, Rainbow seems to be rather… sensitive to it – much more than any other wind whisperer ve’ve seen.”

“I’ll show you sensitive,” Rainbow grumbled.

“Sorry...” The reply was tentative and much more bearable. “...I’m not used to the more subtle stuff.”

More questions. All the questions. Two changelings who could answer – maybe more in the shadows. Giggling, I pulled one of several notebooks and quills from my saddle bags.

“Twilight.” Morpheus snapped me from my reverie. “The signal?”

Oh, right. There was a signal. It had been the last thing on the checklist – the checklist which was stuck to an Ursa’s foot like wet toilet paper.

“Discord, damn it all.” I sighed.

To Move The Heavens Themselves (Twilight?) Part 4

To Move The Heavens Themselves (Twilight) Part 3

With a minimum amount of fuss, we convinced Lyra the signal wasn’t needed. There was only one more hurdle to reaching the Everfree Hive. It wasn’t a problem per se, but it was a rather annoying condition to our journey.

“You can’t seriously expect us to agree to this.” I stared at the flickering portal in front of us.

“It’s just a shortcut.” Third Eye arched an eyebrow.

I shivered, glancing away from the abomination. It was a thing of dreams and nightmares. The center was a void so complete as to be absolute. Light bent away from it such that it seemed to burn from not-quite flames of shadow and starlight. It's colors shifted through all the murky hues of a dark rainbow – colors shared by the aura around Third Eye’s horn.

It wasn’t natural for a horn’s aura to shift like that.

Rainbow’s feathers quivered in anticipation of flight and fight, while Rarity’s muzzle scrunched – evaluating the situation. The slight rearing of her head keyed me in to where her thoughts were headed. Morpheus had hidden each of his eyes behind its respective haw – muttering to himself. The bits won from his bet were currently on the ground before him, forgotten.

“A shortcut that we can’t see the exit to,” I declared. “It could be a trap for all we know.”

“Chill, Twi. You’re acting like we’re out to get you.” Lyra’s legato flowed oddly in her changeling form. It was a soothing drone, like a massage for the ears.

She was still twitching from her entrance – having burst onto the scene as the pegasus from earlier and shedding her disguise almost violently. She was tuning her lyre with her magic now – which was strange given her normally hooves-on approach. The sound was an inconsistent mix of highs and lows at various tempos and stretches. Twice a string had been plucked so hard as to snap, and she had dutifully replaced it.

Clearly, the idea of hypocrisy was lost on her right now. That was okay. We could stress out together.

“I’m not….” Wait. It would be a lie to say I wasn’t nervous about them trapping us. Lying was bad. Morpheus made that clear. I was nervous about that, but it wasn’t the real issue. It was just bad practice to jump into random portals. They had to know that….

Unless years of cloak and dagger made jumping in shady portals the norm.

That was probably it wasn’t it….

“It’s just…” My muzzle scrunched as I tried to find the words. Everypony looking at me did not help. “Just look at it!” I threw my hoof out. “Would you jump in a portal that looked like that?”

Thank you, mouth. You truly are the most eloquent of orifices.

“Ah, so that’s the issue then.” Third Eye shook his head. “Easy enough to solve, ve suppose. You’ve seen the some of the subtypes of the second and third iterations of changeling metamorphosis, but you’ve yet to see the fourth iteration.”

He bit his lip. “It comes with… alterations would be putting it mildly… Mutations? Regardless, one of my more appreciable traits is the ability to shift my horn’s aura to disguise myself better.” He kicked the ground. “It starts to misbehave with higher end spells. I’d rather not show you the rest of me until we’re at the Hive, though. It’s not exactly a subtle form.”

I pouted, lowering my freshly conjured notebook.

“Dude, we’re in the middle of the Everfree forest.” Rainbow snickered. “Pretty sure that’s as low-key as Equestria gets.”

“If he speaks even partially true, his stance is… understandable.” Morpheus spoke hesitantly. “Ve think he is under the assumption we might run if he shows us here.” There was a soft, almost reverent, aspect to his echo – an aetherial quality.

I chuckled nervously. “You make it sound like they are out to get us.”

“An unimportant facet of the truth,” the prince droned, eyes glassing over for a second. “Regardless of their actual intentions, our perception of their intentions may shift to a more negative outlook with such a reveal. Running would be a very appropriate response for us.”

“Even you?” I arched an eyebrow.

“Especially us….” He frowned at the ground.

“Well, we may as well take the leap, darling.” Rarity was taking a sketch of the portal. I had no idea how she could possibly think something so fundamentally wrong with the world could translate to fashion. Then again, maybe it was for a Nightmare Night costume.

Still, I supposed we had little option. Gritting my teeth, I gestured to the others. “Come on then.”

Third Eye held out a hoof just before I entered. “A warning, if you’d care to listen. Portals were never my strong suit. I can force the spell nowadays, but the result is… turbulent. This is still the most efficient way to the Hive, and protocol demands we ensure you lack a path to trace, but...” he waved airily in that way nobles do when suggesting a loophole without actually suggesting a loophole, “...if you really wish to avoid it, we can simply tell the rest of the Hive that there was a little too much turbulence for your tastes. In the name of diplomacy, they’d have to understand.”

He was offering an out, but I was committed at this point. I smiled gratefully, yet shook my head. “Thanks, but we are kind of late as it is.”

Light and darkness.

Life and death.

Quesadillas and persimmons.

All of these and many other things flashed before my eyes, and through my mind, and in my skin – crawling and wriggling and scuttling in a million different ways that they should not be able to. Cheese quesadillas, maybe, but light doesn’t burrow through flesh naturally.

Turbulence my flank. This was chaos. It was like somepony turned the normal discomfort of teleporting up to eleven, then squared the result to get one hundred and twenty-one.

Whatever was in my stomach must have been left behind, because I hit the ground dry heaving. “Sweet Cel—” I heaved again “—estia, that was awful.” Rainbow took no issue in joining me as she exited, although Rarity somehow held her composure. I swear she’d be the toughest of us if she ever decided to go for the warrior princess route instead of acting the proper lady. Nothing and nopony gets in the way of her image when it really matters. I made a note to thank her later. At least one of us needed to be diplomatic with the changelings.

I was currently in negotiations with my stomach – who was holding my mouth hostage. Rainbow, for all her strengths, was not a diplomatic pony even when not up chucking profanities.

And Morpheus, for obvious reasons, didn’t count.

“Oh my stars! I don’t know whether to squeal in delight or disgust—” yes, Rarity was the epitome of tact when it mattered most “—I can’t even begin to describe it. Twilight, darling, look.”

My head was tilted upwards in her aura, and time just seemed to stop. Perhaps I died. It was hard to tell. All I knew was I stopped heaving – stopped breathing – and nothing mattered but the view. I had seen pieces of what we were saving – bits of changeling culture – yet the whole was more than the sum of its parts, and I was suddenly being slapped in the face with an entire society. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy and slightly disturbed inside.

The shape is what struck me first. It was a tree, kind of. I used to live in a tree – still kind of do – and it seems they did, too. It wasn’t a plant, though. It was a hulking black chitinous thing, and we were deep enough in the forest for the trees to scrape the sky. Plates as big as the old Golden Oaks thunked and clunked slowly as it imitated swaying in a wind only it could feel.

Was the Hive wriggling contentedly? Part of me wanted to say that, but I didn’t have much experience with wriggly not-trees.

It glowed a soft green – still that sickly shade I knew all too well and yet somehow different. If I had to describe it, I’d say the timbre was different, but colors don’t have timbre. Perhaps it was the texture, but, no, light doesn’t have texture. All I knew was that it was soft and welcoming and just the tiniest bit terrifying, even if I couldn’t say why it was terrifying. It just was. Some small part of me quivered in irrational fear that had no source.

But it was alright because the light just shimmered with hospitality.

And the root system was enormous, even snaking in and around other actual trees – never quite strangling them. They were dotted with cavities and pockets and caverns to who knew where, and I could faintly see the veins pulsing and beating and throbbing with life inside the chitinous not-bark of the root we’d appeared on.

I giggled incessantly, reconjuring quill and notebook so I could record every little detail.

Enormous jagged spikes I could only call barnacles scuttled about the surface on far too many legs for comfort – crawling at the speed of extra-sticky sap. Their backs were dotted with the familiar hollow hole motif, but it was only as a changeling flew out of a cavity – darting back in only to reemerge with a briefcase of all things – that I understood I was looking at houses, homes, buildings, and more.

I felt like an idiot for not even imagining the possibility of living buildings. Of course, they had living buildings. They performed regular biomancy just to reproduce and keep the species going. Why not build biological buildings? What else did they make— create— birth? No, birth was something to celebrate. This was more practical. Spawn? Yes, spawn.

They spawned things they needed instead of just building them with natural resources. I couldn’t wait to watch and take notes.

Wait.

Morpheus already claimed a general squeamishness towards changeling reproduction was the norm. Would it be taboo to watch? It’s not like they’re mating or anything. It should just be businesslike and professional – like how Fluttershy pays for maintaining the chicken coop by selling the infertile eggs. If a bunch of chickens didn’t mind me watching for a paper on pony-animal interactions, changelings couldn’t possibly mind. They’d understand the scientific drive way more than Elizabeak ever did.

I’d have to ask Morpheus sometime when it wouldn’t cause a scene.

“Oh my gosh! Look at the web!” Yes, mouth. My eyes were just getting there. No need to spoil the moment.

“How many kinds of silk do you make? Do you naturally have spinnerets, or did you learn to shapeshift them in? How much energy does it take to weave? Do you eat your webs daily to recoup the energy loss like some other spiders? If you had to pick one type of insect or arachnid, what would changelings…”

Too late. On and on my mouth ran, getting the geek out of my system. Still, my eyes drank in the view as my quill automatically recorded whatever answers I received but couldn’t bother to hear. Every iota of attention was on that web of glowing, green not-quite goo. Strands hung between the not-branches as the not-tree – Hive – swayed in the wind that didn’t exist. Not-tree? Hive? Surely, there was a better name. I couldn’t even safely claim it was the Hive.

Hives – the kind that only gets capitalized when it actually starts a sentence – don’t usually look like that.

Wait.

This was that lips versus chops thing all over again. I had more important thoughts to ponder. I should just go with not-tree with not-branches for now. The web deserved my attention. It shimmered and shined and radiated that glow with its slick, supple, strands. It was fluid yet solid, stretching in the not-wind the not-tree was swaying to.

Sweet Celestia, I wanted a proper name system.

But, no, focus on the web. I could kind of categorize the web. No, strike that. There were thousands of cocoons hanging from every strand. This was like nothing I’d ever read about. I could barely make out the tiny black dots that were changelings scurrying over it to crawl into and out of them: doing something within. My wings ached and twitched with the desire to fly up and find out what.

“—broke her.” My ear flicked, catching the tail end of Rainbow saying something. The others were talking. Was it worth breaking my concentration to listen? I mean, surely they’d understand that I needed to study the wonder before me. They were my friends after all.

I paused, taking a second look at my current train of thought. It kind of looked like I was the tiniest bit obsessed right now.

Deep breathe.

Not. A. Mad. Scientist.

That way lies friendship problems – making friendship problems.

Wrenching myself from bliss— Shaking myself from my stupor, I found myself the subject of everypony’s smirks. The changelings’ were quickly replaced with sickly grimaces as I blushed redder than that time I walked in on ‘Red Gala’ having a tea party with Smarty Pants. Oh gosh, that just made things worse. I still got embarrassed just thinking about it, and I couldn’t stop thinking about it so I got more embarrassed and that made me even more embarrassed, because they could taste it. They could taste me like I was a boiled rubber boot or some other absurd rubber delicacy, and it was really awkward to not be able to stop, and I was rambling, and panicking—

And they were hugging me?

Yep, I was subject to a mass hug session. One the changelings started – not my friends. Wait. They’re my friends too. I have to remember that. Changelings are ponies, too. Kind of. Sort of. Maybe. Not really, but they were creatures I could relate to, and that was pretty much the only requirement for making friends – some sort of bond or connection.

I was so overwhelmed right now. I didn’t think culture shock was supposed to be this... shocking.

“So…” I finally managed to break the awkwardness of everything.

“So, indeed…” Third Eye chuckled. “Welcome to the Everfree Hive. I’d offer something to drink, but I can still hear your stomach churning.”

Stupid extra sensitive hearing. “I’d love to retort with some witty comment on butterflies in my stomach, but someling probably left them behind.”

It was his turn to blush. “I told you there would be turbulence.”

“That was way more than turbulence…. Can we get going please?” That was the first time I’d heard Bon Bon speak today. I’d thought she’d be ecstatic, but so far she had been unusually subdued. It was like she didn’t want to get noticed, but I supposed we were kind of a third wheel. Just one giant over-sized wheel that saved the nation on a regular basis and had the power to sentence her fiancé’s species to extinction.

Wow, that made me feel like a jerk, but I couldn’t do much now. I made a note to apologize later as we began to move.

“So, how did you enjoy your homework?” Third Eye asked as he led us through a tunnel. It was warm and moist, and I’m pretty sure the breeze I felt was the Hive breathing on me. The walls rippled with tiny plates click-clacking. Chitinous pistons, gears, and gizmos pounded, spun, and whirred.

Buzzing whirs. Chirping whirs. Whistling whirs. All kinds of whirs that I really couldn’t describe.

Little bugs skittered through the giant living machine – biting here, regurgitating there: Doing things I could only guess the purpose of.

Maybe it was maintenance.

They chirped and buzzed and whistled in response to their host – communicating in ways I would probably never understand. Fluttershy would probably be in love or absolutely terrified. Maybe both. I was both – or at least I was excited and nervous.

It was just so fascinating to watch.

A poke from the unusually silent Morpheus reminded me I had a question to answer. I looked at him worriedly for a second. He had retreated behind his haws, leaving his face almost completely unreadable.

Giving him a nod of thanks and a reassuring smile, I turned back to Third Eye so I could answer him. “Yes, actually, although I have to question how much they actually had to do with changelings.”

“But you at least read them, even if you didn’t understand?” He inquired.

“Geez, she already said yes.” Rainbow huffed.

“I couldn’t get through all of them with preparing for the trip, but I read a number of them.” I answered more diplomatically.

Lyra murmured something to Bon Bon, and the confectioner giggled, whispering in return. Lyra chittered in response, and Third Eye and Morpheus snorted in amusement. We continued on in a silence somewhere between comfortable and awkward depending on who was involved.

Lyra and Bon Bon continued whispering, and I was glad to see them both relaxing again.

Rarity was sketching like crazy, which was odd since this was the exact sort of place I wouldn’t expect her inspiration to strike. The Hive was amazing— incredible— beautiful, but it wasn’t what I’d expect Rarity to behold as such. It was that alien kind of beautiful – the kind of beauty that was somehow terrifying and surreal and filled the mind with thousands of questions that one might not actually want an answer to, but they just had to know anyways – and it was absolutely riveting for me, but I lived for discovery and learning. Rarity was all about grace and finesse, and, while there was a sort of grace to all the life around us, I was pretty sure not even she could capture it such that everypony could appreciate it.

If she did, I wasn’t sure it’d be beautiful anymore.

Rainbow’s wings twitched with the desire to fly, but Third Eye had asked that she refrain even from hovering until they were sure the not-scarabs crawling about wouldn’t spook.

He had given a name, but it wasn’t in Equish, and I couldn’t pronounce the clicks and whistles right. There might have been hoof gestures included – maybe even wing gestures since his back twitched – but I couldn’t be sure, and I didn’t want to butcher the name – even in my head. They looked like those bit-things Morpheus had spawned, and I was just dying to know how they were related, or if they were the same, and any number of questions kept jumping to my lips, but I held them back for now.

“Did you at least read the book on the origin of Hearts and Hooves Day?” Our host asked after a while.

I bit my lip. “No…. I’d read other books on it before, so I focused on other books first.” It had been an old book. I hadn’t realized there were accounts that old, but I figured it would be more of the same.

“That is…” he sighed, “...unfortunate. I twisted the truth to begin with. I had to so I could avoid some very unwanted attention, and the newer works twist it even further. It’s been at least two centuries since any of them mentioned Ichorous by name. They keep things to the incredibly vague prince and princess nowadays.”

He scoffed. “I swear, sometimes Celestia’s more changeling than I am.”

“Umm…” More context would have been nice right then. I really didn’t know how to respond.

“Ah! Here we are!” The tunnel opened up onto a small balcony. Stretching beneath us was row after row of terraces holding changelings. It was a veritable army of so many shapes and sizes – perfectly still and silent in the musty, dusty air. Tendrils rose from the ground and slid from the wall – binding them in place as they stared forward with blank, haw-covered eyes. My breath came in a thin hiss at the sight, and I winced as it broke the silence – echoing through the chamber – yet the stillness below remained unbroken.

“Welcome to the Mausoleum!”

I sneezed. Celestia, I wanted to die in embarrassment at the timing.

“Oh my…” Rarity murmured. “They’re all—”

“Dead as the day they passed the Azure Veil.” Morpheus droned, eyes hidden. “Yet ve preserve them. Make them one with the Hivemind. It strengthens it, giving us more memories and space. Eventually, you get more buildings devoted to the dead than the living.” He gave a deep shuddering breath. “Sometimes I wonder if they left more than memories. I used to go to my family’s tomb when ve needed to look through their memories for advice – even when I didn’t need the private memories they left us as heirlooms. There’s just something… different about being with them.”

“Totally not creepy,” Rainbow stage whispered.

Third Eye tilted his head. “You could feel them? The echoes?” Morpheus nodded and Third Eye smiled. “Then perhaps there’s hope for the Hive of the First Father after all. They were silent when I left. I wasn’t able to hear the ancestors until Father… Well... Let’s just say the first time I heard them I was very close to the family tree.”

He waved to the legion below us. “Time moved on, others traversed the Veil, yet they always left an echo – something just beyond the realm of thought. These are the lings that know our story. I knew it too once – lived it – but it has been so long for me that I have forgotten much of it.”

He sighed – voice beginning to buzz, air beginning to thrum. “I can’t even remember my own name without them sometimes. The Hive today simply calls me Third Eye. To the changelings below, ve were simply Father Arachne – much like my Father before us.” He looked over the throngs of corpses. “There was so much was lost in exodus, but we pieced a lot of the puzzle back together. We discovered where everything went wrong, and the changelings entombed here make sure the Hive never forgets again.”

Our host stepped to the edge of the balcony, away from us. As he turned back to look back at us, his eyes and horn burned a million shades of blue, and every head below us turned with eerie synchronicity.

“To know the truth is to live the truth.”

Our host exploded in a wave of shadows and azure fire. It burst outwards, singing us yet drawing back as it felt us – as if it were alive. The behemoth that emerged was straight out of a Beloved Craft story.

Ironic, I know.

It towered over me – plates clicking and clacking and skittering. They shifted and swam with each lumbering breathe in ways chitin wasn’t supposed to move. It was as if his body was in a constant state of flux, which I supposed it very well could be.

“If you wish to know our story, you will find it cannot simply be told like some tall tale.”

There were not four, but six legs stamped into the floor. The ground trembled with each step, leg cavities clenching open and shut in the same way Morpheus did when nervous. I would have laughed if I hadn’t heard them cleanly slicing through the air. As it was, I wondered if I’d end up decapitated poking a head in those holes.

“And so you must choose to live it.”

His horn was an enormous arching curve, and I honestly had to wonder if he looked down on me because he couldn’t lift his head. I would have giggled madly at the thought he might be compensating for something, but this really wasn’t the time for that.

“You must join with us – temporarily, we assure you – in a way few ponies have had the privilege of."

Massive gossamer wings billowed from his back. I’d compare them to a butterfly’s, but these shimmering veils made me feel like I could step into their embrace and be lost to time and space. Butterflies don’t do that last I checked.

“You must choose to trust us, fully and absolutely."

He bowed – fetlock cavities still clenching and unclenching – and I was acutely aware of just how large he had to be for him to still tower far above me or even Celestia. The leg holes large enough for decapitation really should have clued me in, but I admit this really wasn’t what I was expecting.

“Ve are aware of the implications of such an action – of the vulnerability it places you in."

Tendrils rose to bind him like those below, and they hooked into him – melding into his chitin. From the ceiling several cocoons dropped, and I finally understood what he was asking us.

“Forgive us, yet know the choice is yours and yours alone."

I stared...

And stared...

And stared some more….

“How the buck did you pass yourself off as a unicorn when you’re as big as a house?” I silently thanked Rainbow for addressing the elephant-sized elephant in the room. I wasn’t sure I’d be talking anytime soon.

A booming thrum came in reply. I could feel my bones vibrating in a way only Celestia’s ‘To The Sun’ voice had managed, and the azure eyes returned to normal for just a moment. “Let’s say I end up with a really thick skull.”

Sweet Celestia, he was joking. I had no idea how he could manage it right now.

I continued to stare.

Leg holes clenched and unclenched. Eyes flickered uncertainly. “Please don’t run?” A normal pony would have squeaked an octave higher. Starswirl— No, Third Eye— No, Father Arachne rumbled an octave higher. I looked to Morpheus for guidance only to find him fully prostrated, still as the corpses below.

It was Lyra who broke the tension with her chittering – like tittering, but sharp and crisp with the clack of chitinous chops. “And I thought I had it bad going all pegasai. Gramps, you’re shivering like a nymph going incognito for their first time. How can you not like the real you? You’re a total badass!”

“I’ll say!” Rainbow flew up – a fly in his eye. “Seriously, this is awesome.” She looked to me. “This is prime monster fighting material. We could have so much fun staging an attack on Ponyville. I’m telling you right now. Best. Prank. Ever.”

“Rainbow!” Rarity scolded,taking the excuse to recompose herself. “Must you be so rude to our host. He’s clearly insecure with his appearance. We should be drawing out his inner beauty, not making him up to be some savage beast.” She tilted her head back, looking almost straight up. “I might need more fabric though.”

I managed a smile. “Guys, never change.”

Looking to them both, we all nodded in unspoken agreement. Lyra was already helping Bon Bon in her pod. I turned to our host to voice our decision in my most official sounding voice.

“I can’t really say we can give you the kind of trust you’re asking for, but it would be wrong not to have faith in our friends. We know they’ll come to help us should the worst come to pass, so we choose to extend some of that faith – that friendship – to you.”

It was the corpses turn to stare – not that they didn’t always stare.

Probably.

“You ponies always have such very pony answers." Thousands of chitters and titters and chuckling thrums threatened to bring the tomb crashing on our heads.

To Move The Heavens Themselves (Twilight) Part 5

To Move The Heavens Themselves (Twilight?) Part 4

This next part is where things get weird, and I can never impress just what exactly was given to me that day. I was expecting something like a dream or a movie. What I got was another life. We were only asleep for a few hours, but, in a way, we were gone for years.

Memory manipulation is weird like that.

I still wonder if they meant it to be that way. I look back, and the warnings were there, but I didn’t listen to them. Everything we knew about mind magic back then suggested that we would end up a scared and confused mish-mash of identities…

But the Hive protected us.

I don’t pretend to know how, and the changelings didn’t even contemplate the danger – the significance! It was something so normal to them that they hadn’t bothered to question it in a long time.

Everypony who lives it has a slightly different experience though, so my current theory is that it filters the experience through empathy. In essence, small inconsistencies were created so that my sense of self was preserved. At least, in theory. I talked to Morpheus about it, and he described it as ‘flying in another lings wings.’

The problem is I don’t think it works a hundred percent on ponies. I’m still me most of the time – unless I call on Ichorous’ memories. Names slip. Pronouns shift. I really can’t describe it. I’m still me, but there’s also an Ichorous in the background.

Then again, maybe that’s how the Hivemind works?

I digress, though. It’s time for the tale of Ichorous. Where do ve even begin, though?

Synchronization complete. Beginning memory transference.

I woke with a gasp – images of pink and white and lavender clinging to our thoughts. Odd… Ve didn’t remember falling asleep in a bed. There had been a cute mare out stargazing, and I’d been hungry. Ve recalled pulling some stunts, boasting a bit, then flaring my wonderful wi—

I hissed as pain exploded through my sides. I tried to move my wings to the side so I could get a look, but clenched my eyes shut and choked back a scream as the burning sensation increased. Without moving anything else, I slowly opened an eye and cast my gaze as far back as I could. With much trepidation, I inched my head around to see what was wrong. My brow furrowed as I failed to behold any of my marvelous gossamer wings.

A crash landing would explain the fuzziness pervading our thoughts, but my wings had to be crumpled badly if I couldn’t see them. Deciding to risk the pain, I snapped my head around to take in the full damage.

My wings were simply gone.

This time I didn’t hold back the scream.

There was the sound of hooves rushing into the room. I was vaguely aware of something pink and white. Somepony held me as I thrashed about, but I really didn’t care for any comfort.

Ve remembered now! Ve had dared the mare to a race towards the sun. The one who could get the closest before turning away won. Ve had gotten closer and closer until it burned. Our lungs were on fire as they struggled for air. Our muscles burned from forcibly streamlining our body in ways it wasn’t supposed to. It was so hard to find the strength for that extra lift, and the mare just giggled, flying in circles around me.

It was only when ve started to fall that ve had realized the burning sensation in our wings was more than simple pain. The last thing ve could remember before the blackout was the mare diving after us as graceful as a swan.

Ve played the scene over and over again in our head, no longer flailing, but still shaking. The wing holding me felt larger than I’d expect for a pegasus, but I didn’t complain as I fell asleep.

I woke to find the pain fizzling mutely in the background. Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I realized the sun was smiling sadly upon me.

“It seems my daughter’s mischievous streak got the best of her this time.” Sweet Hive, I was in the presence of She-Who-Moved-The-Sun, and she had deigned to speak to me – worm that I was. I was not worthy— Wait. Daughter?

I blinked, looking about the room. Sure enough, the mare from before sat – almost huddled – in the corner. There was the rather stark addition of a horn, and I blinked again, first one haw than the other. I had made the moves on the daughter of the sun.

Her ears perked as I caught sight of her, while my own flattened. “Oh, no…. No. N-no. N-no. No. No.”

She slumped, ears flattening, and my protests got faster.

“Shh…” The sun shoved her hoof in my mouth, and ve quietly noted that she did not burn like her charge. “I am not going to smite you for courting my daughter. She certainly did enough to you on her own.”

The mare in the corner wilted further.

“That said—” I could hear the spark of mischief, like fire, in her voice “—I think you will need some friends to look after you while you recover – perhaps even beyond that since you lost your wings.” She nodded to the shadows, and I jumped as She-Who-Paints-The-Night stepped from the darkness. “My sister and I must travel onwards. The land of Equestria is beset by a monster who turns day to night on a whim, and we must find a way to stop him before he thinks to spread his chaotic influence further than our home.”

She unfurled her wings dramatically. “I would be remiss to ignore the pain my daughter has caused you, though. It is only fitting that I leave her in your service until you are better.” The sun winked at me. “She will care for you until you are better, then rejoin me and my sister after ensuring you make it home.”

As she strode majestically past me, she leaned in to whisper in my ear. “Keep her safe. Perhaps get me some grandfoals. Do that, and I might just forgive you for scaring her to death.”

Ve stared upwards, quite sure I had misheard.

The sun shrugged, grinning as she stepped up to her sister. There was a flash of light, and they were gone before ve had time to even begin processing our situation.

The mare in the corner raised her head. “So—”

“No,” I interjected. “Whatever it is. No.”

She wilted again. “But—”

“No!” I interrupted again. “No pony is talking until ve have time to think all of this through! She never even got our name, and she wants grandfoals! She’s nuts!”

“It’s a phase.” Hoof met groaning face.

“I said no talking!” I tried to buzz, and it burned.

She was silent for a while after that. Our thoughts and feelings sped faster than sunlight – burning through our mind in a panicky fire. Fear. Sadness. Pain. Anger. Rage. So much rage. Ve didn’t know what ve were supposed to think. Ve were a monarch. Our wings were everything to us, and my wings were gone because of this mare. Ve weren’t even sure ve could manage a non-pegasus form if ve wanted to.

I sniffled.

“Radiant Dawn.” The source of my pain broke the silence. “My name is Radiant Dawn.”

Anger flared, and I hissed. “Ichorous – like the inky blackness of your heart.”

I— No. Ichorous was mad, furious, murderous even.

But time heals all wounds.

I’m sorry. I can’t do this…. Not to my satisfaction anyways. I could try to tell you their tragic tale, but nothing compares to living it: for I was Ichorous.

Ve felt his anger – so powerful ve contemplated smothering Radiant in her sleep. Ve tasted her crush like a poultice of lilies and cherry blossoms. Ve ranted and raged while she tirelessly nursed me back to health – her devotion and resolve the sharp metal tang of steel and iron – and ve fell in love with the sheer determination she showed trying to smile every day. In time, our hostility was nothing but an act. I was mean, cruel, and utterly unbearable, because I thought that maybe she’d leave my worthless shell for greener pastures.

And she somehow knew and persevered. She tried to show me what she saw.

I cannot give you what you need. I’m not some trashy romance writer, so I won’t even try to give you the years I spent stupidly rejecting her love and bottling my own behind filters— Morpheus, told you about filters, right? Well, ve— Ichorous used them for years to hide from what he was feeling – much like a certain prince did when he first came to Ponyville.

Eventually, he couldn’t hold it in anymore…

...and ve decided ve would move the heavens themselves for her.

“I stumbled upon some new medicine today in the market.” The room brightened, as always, when Radiant entered. “Strange fellow, but all the regular doctors were out of town. I had to pay him with a song and a dance of all things.” A tuft of cloud met a rainbow’s glow. Plucking a feather from her wing, she stirred. “He said it was ‘Best if stirred with a fine friends feather, then drunk all together,”

“You could have waited for a real doctor.” I gave a soft thrum, cursing inwardly. It was so hard to snap at her these days. Even the mindless drone was difficult sometimes. The taste of honey-dipped steel grew – piercing my shell with warmth. I retreated behind my haws, forcing my blood black to hide the blush creeping up my neck.

She thought I was concerned for her.

All sorts of warm fuzzy caterpillars blossomed into butterflies in my stomach at the thought. Ve plucked the wings from them – shoving the corpses in the recesses of our mind. My feelings were moot. A monarch was worthless without their wings, and ve would do best to act like the lowly worm ve had become.

Radiant handed me a glass of fizzing purple medicine. “Odd that I need to drink it too, but the doctor said the magic only works if it’s given by one who cares.”

I paused, cup at my lips. I could hear the faintest quaver to her voice – a hint of nervousness. I cast out the tiniest snippet of wind – thankful once more that I hadn’t lost everything with my wings – and the wind sense told me thump of her heart beat just a little faster.

She wasn’t lying, but there was something she wasn’t sharing. Ve didn’t know what to make of that, but perhaps she merely meant to give a show of solidarity. She had gone to greater lengths before when trying to get me to open up.

She toasted me and we drank. There was a brief hint of wine in the air – regret or maybe guilt. A few violently violet bubbles popped in the bottom of my glass as I lowered it.

Something was wrong.

Ve felt the stirrings of volatile emotion, and clamped my filters down before it could spread through my system. Even then I could taste it radiating off of Radiant Dawn. What was once sweet honey was now a rotting cesspool of writhing maggots. They wriggled in their own filth – a substance close to and yet oh so different from honey.

“Oh, schmoopy-doo.” I recoiled as Radiant’s pupils turned into little hearts.

It was oddly addicting in its own disturbing way – the not-love. The maggots throbbed in tune with my heart. They hissed with every breath I made. Radiant’s emotions were one with me, and that felt empowering. I struggled to hold my emotions in. Filters were breaking like eggshells as little maggots threatened to fill my mind.

I had to do something.

I had to stop it.

I would move the heavens themselves if necessary.

So I opened my filters and drank every drop from her system.

The maggots slithered from her heart to mine with abandon, cannibalizing the eggs of their brethren within me. Poison fed on poison, and they grew fat with gluttony until they burst in a shower of sweet honey. Love – pure and true – filled me to the brim, and I shuddered in ecstatic disgust. My carapace began to itch, and my mark began to glow. Ve realized with growing horror that I had acted in love, and that my next Chrysalling was attempting to interrupt my rescue.

I accelerated the drain to dangerous speeds as silken threads crept from my glands to cocoon me whether I wanted it or not. The faster I worked, the faster the chrysalis came, and ve feared I’d have too little time. Ve didn’t know what the poison would do if left in Radiant, and ve were terrified of finding out.

As the final strands of silk fell in place, I felt the drain complete. The soul crushing stare she had maintained for hours broke as she blinked – eyes returning to normal. I reached a hoof out to the wall of my prison, and I mouthed the three words she deserved to hear. Her hoof tried to meet mine – separated by the silk – and I smiled.

She knew.

This is where things went wrong. Not even Father Arachne knows what it was exactly, but something in the poison corrupted Ichorous’ transformation. The memories blur into dreams of ravenous maggots. There are vague impressions of chitinous swarms marauding the countryside.

Raiding. Pillaging. Searching for something white and pink as I loomed far above in the air.

It kind of reminds me of what Spike said he remembered from the day he rampaged through Ponyville. There weren’t any thoughts. Just feelings and desires, and I find it absolutely terrifying to think that Spike or Morpheus could get stuck like that. One mistake is all it would take.

But it also makes me sad.

Ichorous made one last memory that wasn’t consumed by the maggots. Ve can remember finding her at the Hive. She kept pleading for us to stop – to let her find a cure – but ve couldn’t.

The maggots were hungry, and they struck at her in distress.

From deep within the maggots I watched her fall. They made me twitch – the writhing worms. They wanted to move on – to find more food – but I forced myself to watch as dawn turned to dusk.

I had to save her.

I wrenched my haws open so my eyes could meet hers. I tried to reach her with wings or magic, and yet the maggots held me as I held them.

We were at a standstill.

I continued to struggle, and at last I managed to reach out a hoof – the hoof that had hit her. That was all I could do. She slammed into the ground, and was still. With a great shuddering breath I wrenched back control of my lungs to wail to the heavens. Seconds passed, and I saw her barrel rise and fall.

Yet the swarm moved in.

The swarm moved in, and the maggots writhed, and ve knew I would soon lose myself once more. I would be damned if I didn’t try to save her, though. I would move the heavens themselves for her.

The heavens themselves…

The heavens…

Maggots swarmed over my eyes once more as I reached to the stars and pulled.

It blurs again after that, but I can guess what happened. The Badlands had another name in most of those books Third Eye gave me. A number of them came from before Luna’s banishment. Back then the desolate wastes were known as Starlight Basin. Ponies feared them as well as Luna for she had supposedly brought the stars themselves down to Equis in her fight with Discord.

But I know the Badlands are scars from a different fight. There was a single coherent thought from Ichorous in his last shred of memory. He wanted to move the heavens themselves if it would save Radiant.

I don’t know why he thought it would, but he did. The last of his jumbled feral impressions is a searing heat and a flash of light.

The Inevitable (Morpheus) Part 1

To Move The Heavens Themselves (Twilight) Part 5

So now you know the tale of Ichorous – or rather, a part of it. I wish I could give you something more. I want you to see, hear, and – most importantly – feel it, but that’s beyond my capabilities currently.

What I can give you, though, is the reaction of my friends and me.

I woke to Rarity’s cries of distress. “Eeew! This better not stain my coat green! As marvelous as that was I’d much prefer the novel if this travesty is the cost.” My eyes fluttered open to a green-tinted world, and ve attempted to blink our haws before remembering I wasn’t Ichorous.

I was Twilight Sparkle, and I was very confused at how certain I was about that as ve sorted through years of a life that wasn’t mine.

“Rarity, forget your mane and coat!” Rainbow snapped from out of sight. I had an excellent view of Rarity, though. She was somehow greener than everything else.

I wriggled slightly to get her attention, and something pulled itself out of my ear. Confusion made way for panic, and I tried to scream at the sight of the tendril that had been inside me, but the goo in my lungs was thick and uncooperative. Thrusting myself at the wall of the chrysalis, I found it breaking easily at the touch of my horn, and I tumbled to the ground with a sickening splorch – coughing up the gunk in my lungs.

“What the buck was that?!” I managed to sound surprisingly imposing with half empty lungs. I wasn’t sure if I was talking about the tendril or the vision – I refused to call it a dream.

“That was a memory transference.” A hole-filled hoof filled my vision. I grabbed it, scrambling to collect myself as Morpheus pulled me to my feet.

“I thought you were exaggerating when you said changelings did that.” Not exactly a royal voice, but It carried my point across. “Do you have any idea how dangerous melding memories is?”

“Our methods differ from ponies, Princess.” Father Arachne had returned to the diminutive form of Third Eye. “Rest assured that you are safe.”

“How can I be sure?” I countered. “What are the differences? Am I— Are ve—” I blinked at the slip. It might be worse than I thought. All ve had done was try to explain what ve just went through and—

There! I did it again! Hyperventilating, I desperately ran through Cadence’s breathing exercises.

“I don’t know what Twilight’s talking about, but I’m with her here.” Rainbow set a hoof on my withers. “Ve know things I’m not supposed to – aerial tricks I can’t perform with wings like mine. Ve keep trying to chirp when I can’t, and ve can’t help but feel weirded out by my—” she coughed “—barn door.”

“Ve do this to everypony who we share knowledge of the Hive with.” Third Eye shuffled from hoof to hoof. “Trust us. The confusion is natural, but temporary.”

“But—” I took another deep breath. I couldn’t say it…. The fact I could think of the danger spoke volumes towards the idea that I was still myself where it mattered. I would just have to be careful handling our memories.

I looked to the one changeling I knew I could trust right now. “What do you think, Morpheus?”

He squirmed under my focus. “Theoretically, there’s no danger to non-changelings, but, ve admit, ve are mostly speculating. It’s not a practice ve are familiar with.”

“Darlings, you’re all missing the point.” Rarity scoffed. “What did you all see? Because ve— I saw a changeling who loved with all his heart.” She sighed. “So romantic…” Turning, she gestured to Lyra, who was sticking eagerly to Bon Bon’s side despite – or perhaps because of – the goo coating her. “Clearly our hosts are as capable of giving love as they are of taking it.”

Lyra nodded, nuzzling her partner. A trail of chrysalis goop trailed from her snout to Bon Bon’s. The confectioner giggled – letting out a small whinny as she rested her head in the crook of the changeling’s neck

I smiled and shuddered simultaneously at the sight, conjuring us all steaming towels. “Alright, time to clean up.”

“Oh, thank heavens!” Rarity grabbed them all, forcing me to conjure more. “Don’t think this is going to distract me, though. I asked you all what you saw.”

I glanced between Rainbow and Morpheus. When no pony stepped forward, I hesitantly did so before immediately hopping back. I couldn’t do it yet. Morpheus thrummed with glassy eyes. He kept murmuring something to himself, and, if I strained my hearing, I could just make him out.

“To move the heavens themselves…”

Ve shuddered, replaying Ichorous’ final moments in our head.

Snorting, Rainbow took the lead. “V— I saw somepony that loved flying as much as I do. Dude seriously knew his stuff before he was grounded.” She shook her head. “The stunts he made in his dreams were definitely Wonderbolts material.”

“Monarchs are to pegasai as Dynastinae are to unicorns.” Morpheus muttered – eyes still glassy. His voice was soft and almost lost in a thousand tiny echoes. “Lyra – as a Dynastinae – is as close to a unicorn as a changeling can get, but you’ve seen how she handled being a pegasus.”

He looked to the cavernous depths above us. “Monarchs, on the other hoof, gain an affinity for flight at the cost of strength – magical and physical. Ve can barely comprehend how he handled losing his wings. Most Monarchs ve have records of would rather have committed ritual suicide.”

“How barbaric.” Rarity gasped.

Morpheus shrugged. “Different times, different customs. Ve are more concerned with his corrupted transformation. That was most certainly love poison he drank….” He hesitated, and I gave him an encouraging smile.

There was the audible clack of plates shifting as he gave a mighty gulp and continued. “The house of Antipathy has produced love poison as a pick-me-up for generations. It’s been one of several crutches that have allowed us to survive as long as we have, making a passable yet unhealthy substitute for love. As ve see it, if love poison corrupted the Hivemind, either the corruption was complete enough to render us immune, or it’s a ticking time bomb waiting to go off.”

Third Eye coughed. “Ve believe it needs a catalyst. It might be simply the act of sharing it with another, or it might require the seed of true love.” He put a hoof on Morpheus’ withers, causing the prince to flinch. “Either way, ve would advise you cease production and distribution. I’d be willing to trade some love reserves to even out the losses, but you need to guarantee our safety. Ve haven’t hidden the Hive for so long without reason after all.”

“Your generosity is appreciated, but ve are unsure I can guarantee what you ask.” The prince slumped. “What you’ve given me will cause unrest. The other Lords are already restless from your very existence. I have no doubt some will spin this information as potential sabotage to the masses. It might easily provide the excuse they need to move on me….”

The prince shook his head, rising out of his funk to stand tall once more. “Yet none of this tells you what I saw…. What I saw…” There was a hushed reverence to the thrum of his voice. “...I saw a changeling in love. More than that I felt a changeling in love. His Chrysalling… it was brought on through love and selfless sacrifice.”

He scoffed. “No wonder we’re dying out, we’ve been stunting our own growth with erroneous beliefs. What fools our Hive has been, to think us capable of evolving beyond the emotion of love itself.”

Third Eye hummed thoughtfully. “Love of life sparks the zeroth, creating us and giving the thirst for more. It is the selfish love of a mindless animal, for life loves to continue living, and will do so whether or not it should.”

The faux unicorn looked into the distance glassy-eyed. There was something about his voice that made us pause and listen. It was a voice I was very used to from Celestia. It had no name, however, for it was simply that patient tone all good teachers learn at some point.

“Love of another sparks the first, giving us the mind and soul. Bravely the Breeder gives of themselves so that the life becomes an individual. The mind and the soul let us slake the thirst, but never can we quench it.”

His voice fractured such that it came from everywhere and nowhere. It entered my very bones to knead a weariness I hadn’t known I’d been carrying. It was soft and assuring – confident yet quiet.

“Love of the hive sparks the second, giving purpose and direction. We come to learn our duty and seek to repay a debt we do not even have. For the Hive we give our lives, yet we fail to understand it’s true desires.”

Morpheus bowed his head in contemplation as Third Eye turned his gaze up above.

“Finally, though, we begin to understand. We learn to give love as well as take it. Love for life – friendship – sparks the third, giving clarity and empathy. Whereas love of life would take to continue living, love for life sees the beauty of the individual. They seek to be themselves and understand the right of others to do the same.”

Bon Bon looked up the crook of her fiance’s neck to try and meet her eyes.

“And yet still we thirst. Like every creature under the sun, we seek more. We seek true love from those who could know and understand us – those who can look past the mask. Love for another – the other half – sparks the fourth, giving peace and power. No more do we thirst, yet we have the capability to take all we need. With the wisdom gained through clarity, our might helps us to shepherd the way.”

The confidence wavered.

“Yet still we grow and learn and change. In times of direst need – when even the Hive seems lost and gone and dead – a few will rise above the rest. Love for hive – self-sacrifice – sparks the fifth and final change, and not even I know what it brings.”

In silence the girls and I looked to one another, unsure what to say. Morpheus sniffled. Once. Twice. The third turned into sob – chestplates screeching with the sudden upheaval of air – and he fell to Third Eye’s hooves whistling and whirring between long lamenting chirps.

“Awk-ward.” Rainbow kicked the ground.

Lyra sighed, detaching herself from Bon Bon. “Yeah…. We should give them some privacy.”

“But what’s he doing?” I ruffled my wings and tried not to stare.

“Really really old custom. Like archaically old.” Lyra rolled her body through a molasses-like shrug as she led us away. “You ever read about royal courts back in the day? The ones before Celestia had petitioners or ministry ponies or parliament representatives? Where Sunny P once had ponies falling to the floor to confess their sins in her immortal presence? It’s like that.”

She waved goodbye to Third Eye – who was patting the prince on the back with an awkward smile. He silently mouthed for help in response, and Lyra chittered as she followed us out the door. “Pretty sure gramps wasn’t expecting it. I mean, we’re not that big on the hierarchy system around here,and the Shaepherd act is just that, an act.”

There was an archway to the left that hadn’t been there before. Lyra cocked her head, ears flicking at the clicking and clacking in the wall before leading us through it.

“Okay… but why is he groveling? I thought Lords were at the top of the hierarchy. ” I pulled out a notebook to take notes as we walked – be it from conversation or observation.

Lyra snorted. “Oh, that’s exactly why he’s groveling. The term Lord is just one big ego trip for his Hive.” She whistled and whirred a word I didn’t know “—actually means clerk. They’re meant to manage the Hive, not rule it. Shaepherds are the ones who do that.”

We entered what appeared to be the core of the Hive. It was a wriggly, cavernous room that towered overhead, and as we looked up we could see the slow, shifting movements the Hive made waving in the non-existent wind. Several changelings crawled and flitted about, yet I couldn’t help but notice how empty it seemed.

My face scrunched. “So his Hive is incomplete? I mean, the way you two talked it sounded like something was off, but I didn’t know what.”

Lyra shook her head. “Not just incomplete, but wounded…. It’s hard to explain. That’s why we shared the Fall of Ichorous with you. Can you think of a way to explain what you saw that doesn’t fill a book on its own? Even then, can you explain the pain? The corruption? The backlash?”

“I guess not….” Memories flashed through our mind and I shuddered. Strongest was the flash of heat and light that was our end. In the infinitesimally small amount of time between the maggots and sweet nothingness, I could hear the swarm crying for help. Millions of messages poured through the Hivemind asking us to stop, but it was too late.

Rarity tsked, bumping her shoulder into mine. “Really darling, you’re always so intent on stressing yourself out. Forget the drama of the thing. I mean, you still haven’t answered my question. The end of the tale aside, what did you see? Surely you saw something you liked within the memories?”

“I’m with Rarity, Twi. I spilled. You should to!” Rainbow darted down, landing in front of me.

I hadn’t even noticed she’d taken off in my musings, and stumbled back in surprise. Steadying myself, I sighed. “I didn’t see anything I didn’t already know – that each of us should have already known. I knew going in that changelings weren’t monsters. We wouldn’t have been here if we didn’t understand that. What I saw? It shows we were right, but we aren’t the ones who need to see it….”

Ve looked through the memories – tasting Radiant’s love and feeling the butterflies that rose in our stomach in response. It was a nice feeling, even if I’d die before telling Rarity.

I could at least be vague about it, though. “Maybe I learned something about myself from it, and, I admit, I’m curious as to why there are no records of Radiant. But the important stuff? The stuff that matters? All of that is in the ending.”

I stomped a hoof so hard it cracked the chitinous floor. “Do you have any idea how many creatures – pony, changeling, whatever – died at the end there? Those stars probably wiped out everything that wasn’t sheltered deep underground. Hay! That might be the only reason the changelings survived in the first place! I can’t just ignore it!”

Lyra shrugged. My eye twitched at how carefree she was. “Can’t let it chain you down, though, Glitter Flanks. You should appreciate the good as well as the bad.”

I growled. “Don’t call me Glitter Flanks!”

Lyra grinned — a lazy, lopsided grin that showed only a single fang, and reminded me far too much of Discord. “I’ll stop when you stop being all princess-y. Seriously, chillax. We’re all friends here, after all.”

I opened my mouth to retort, yet all that came out was a sigh. “I know…. I know…. It’s just every time I start to feel like I finally get what’s going on, I’m thrown for another loop.”

“Welcome to changelings!” The amber-eyed changeling threw a hoof out chittering. “We’re all mysteries and enigmas wrapped in layers of vagueness, garnished with bits of truth, and drizzled with secret sauce.” She winked. “At least, we like to think so, even if the truth is yet to be seen.”

I couldn’t help but giggle in return. “Okay. I get it. Expect the unexpected. Now that that’s settled, though, what should we do while waiting for the others?”

Lyra shrugged. “Chill?”

And so we chilled.

The prince’s talk to Third Eye took a long time, so long that we just sat and talked for hours with changelings flitting about above us. I admit, I was disappointed not to get more of a tour, but I think they were nervous to show me more after my little freakout. I learned a lot from Lyra, and – rocky as it was – I still feel the trip was a success. I was sad to find it was already time to go when Morpheus turned back up.

The Inevitable (Morpheus) Part 2

The Inevitable (Morpheus) Part 1

Changing Time’s Notes: I would like to say something about this report, but I cannot think of the words to describe my thoughts on it. It was not at all what I expected after Twilight’s report on the Everfree Hive, and it strikes me as almost mundane in comparison. Yet I feel like this report expresses my hope for integration far better than most of the others. I read it, and I can’t help but smile.

The Inevitable: A Report by Morpheus of House Sycadia

Upon return, our rest was fraught with simulations on how the Hive might react to the information given to me at the Everfree Hive. A lot of lings were not going to be happy about the potential ban of love poison, and – based on Ichorous’ memories and my own recent experiences – ve were fretting over the unknown dangers of filters. Ve hadn’t reported my concerns yet – even to the analysts – but ve only had so much time ve could afford to ponder things on our own.

Ve were determined, however, to have just one day to ourself to puzzle out what to do. The rest of the universe, however, was even more determined to toss yet more trouble my way. Very, very, vividly pink-colored trouble that likes sunshine and ladybugs.

I thank the Hive things turned out as well as they did. After all, Mother could have decided to visit the same day. Although, for all ve know she did. It would be just like her to watch me squirm from the shadows

Our haws flicked open as ve blinked the sleep from my eyes. Rest had not come easy last night. Our heart was filled with a cavernous void that hadn’t been there the night before, and my stomach gurgled with an unnatural ferocity to match.

Blearily, ve tried to make sense of the reports that had flooded in during the night. Foreign affairs were the same. The minotaurs were still arming themselves, but ve didn’t know why, and ve honestly didn’t care.

On the Equestrian front, the dance of Lords continued. A quarter of my infiltrators trailed other infiltrators. A quarter moved in obvious ways – making tempting lures to catch opposing spies I wasn’t aware of. A quarter attempted to mislead those I knew tracked my actions. And a quarter actually acted to forward my interests.

The only oddity of note was that Spi desired to leave Canterlot and have a private rendezvous with me in Sugarcube Corner. He was very vague on the details, but assured me it was news better given in the chitin. That worried me, but I trusted Spi to tell me immediately if it was something truly serious.

He was my head of intelligence, after all.

The home front was business as usual, too. Most of my agents in the other houses reported nothing new. There were the usual secret meetings and politics, and, while the ‘untimely’ death of the head of House Flynn was news to me, the analysts and us had predicted most of yesterday’s more petty power plays several days ago.

What was completely unexpected was the report that Webber and Hera had gone missing since I’d been to Fluttershy’s. Analyzing the report, it seemed their peers had been—I sighed—afraid of my reaction. My infiltrators back at the Hive had only found out because the other Lords were ecstatic at the news. My heads of analysis and security were nowhere to be found, after all. That made me vulnerable.

The only good news was all the other Lords were trying to figure out who was behind it. It seemed none of them had done anything, but that left the question of where Webber and Hera actually were.

Moving to the writing desk, I scribbled out some orders on a piece of parchment – mostly telling my agents to continue what they’re doing. Ve committed the image to memory, and ve partitioned it into several smaller images. Scrambling those images, ve sent them off to their designated targets.

I rose, burning the parchment and cracking several plates across my body. I groaned in relief at the release, and ve idly wondered if I could risk a trip to the spa. I was really tense from stress lately, and I could just shift that tenseness out of my muscles and joints, but it would be so much more enjoyable to let someling – or somepony, ve supposed – knead it out. Besides, it would give us time to sit and think.

Walking out the door and into the hall, ve figured I should go find Twilight and ask if she wanted to join me. It would only be polite, after all, and I could easily work around any odd sex taboos with a bit of shape shifting. It’d just be a girl’s day out at the spa.

Heading to the library, I eventually caught a whiff of lavender and lilies in the library – a clue to navigate the still somewhat labyrinthine castle. It was centered in a pile of open books on memory spells and almost drowned in the scent of ink and parchment.

Twilight had clearly been busy last night. She had to have spent the night here, because her scent was strong enough to tell me she’d only left recently. Following the trail, I eventually ended up at the entrance hall.

Several trails – strong and weak – converged here from her various comings and goings. The air was heavy with the scent of her friends, and there was the general taste of pony in the air.

On a whim, I put on my Wicked Smooth guise, and pushed my way outside. I thrummed, letting the sun warm my chitin momentarily. There was an abundance of emotion in the air outside today, and I savored it. It was a thick soup of roses and honey-dipped steel with a glass of sour milk and a side of homemade cookies – not perfect, but still enjoyable.

Still, it suggested guests. They might have left already, but I’d need to stick to my disguise just to be safe.

As I turned to go back inside, I noticed the mailbox was full. Ve paused, debating the pros and cons of grabbing what was there. On the one hoof, ve could get useful information and do Twilight a favor by bringing it to her. On the other hoof, ve couldn’t actually open the letters without violating trust, and even then she might not consider it appropriate.

Ve sighed in indecision. Really, the mailbox was such a frustrating invention. There was a pile of information just sitting in the open, and asking to be taken and read, but it was expected that only the owner or owners of the mail should retrieve and read it.

Screw it. I snorted. Grabbing the mail, I trotted back inside. A lot of it had stockpiled over the past couple days, and it would bug us if I left it there. I returned to following Twilight’s most recent trail, and shifted through the mail to organize it via importance.

Bill. Bill. A letter from Shining and Cadance. An ad for insurance saying ninety-five percent of household deaths happened in the kitchen. Another bill. A Cosmarepolitan whose main article was on keeping the kitchen stallion-free. Another Hive-forsaken bill. At least twenty fan letters from foals – half of which were in crayon. A very pink and glittery invitation to a Pinkie party. And a copy of this week’s bogus horoscopes telling me to avoid the kitchen at all costs.

Putting the important stuff to the side, I looked up to see I had just walked into the dining room. My target was at the table, mulling over a cup of coffee. “Morning, Twilight. I was wondering if you wanted to—"

There was an enormous spit take as she jumped from her seat. Pushing me towards the door, she grabbed the mail, teleported it away, and hissed in my ear. “Out! Out! Didn’t Castle tell you what’s going on?! Cadance and my brother are here. Get out while you still have time. They’re in the kitchen right now making pancakes, and I—"

“Twily, do you want chocolate chips or…” As her brother opened the door, Twilight meeped. Understandably stressed, she tried to give me one last push out the door, but merely succeeded in making things much more awkward. After all, there were several dubious misinterpretations to the act of putting her head so close to my rear.

Silence reigned for a few seconds. “...Spike did hint that you had a coltfriend, but it didn’t sound like things were physical.” His emotions were like a bubbling lake of melted iron held back by a steel dam. That was good. He was determined to hold back his overprotective side. That gave us time to explain, but raised so many more questions.

Twilight, unfortunately, could not hide her blush like I did. “I— We— He— It’s not like that! I was just getting him out of here, so you and Cadance wouldn’t draw the wrong conclusion.”

Shining frowned, and I smiled sheepishly. Externally, at least. Internally,I was grinning broadly. That was an excellent quarter truth on Twilight’s part, although she could have phrased it slightly better. As it was, she had left it open for her brother to—

“Twi, you don’t need to worry about that. Cadance would kill me if I scared your coltfriend away.”

That. It left interpretation open to that. For somepony determined to convince ponies we weren’t involved, she did a very poor job.

“Mrhmfff...” Twilight couldn’t speak through the rubber cork of her own embarrassment. She clearly wasn’t ready for having this conversation again, and ve could understand why.

Stepping forward, I interjected myself into the conversation. “Ah, you’ll have to excuse my master—" Shining’s eyebrow arched "—but everypony seems to be jumping to the conclusion that we’re together lately. I am, in fact, merely another student of sorts.”

Her brother’s eyebrow remained arched for a few seconds. “Is that so?” Finally, he broke into chuckles, emotions evening out. “I can see how that would stress little Twily.” He held his hoof out, and I shook it making sure to excrete a bit of tracer silk onto him. “Well, I suppose I don’t need to worry about you breaking her heart then, mister…?”

“Wicked. Wicked Smooth.” I supplied.

The captain’s eyebrow arched again as he smiled. “Really? I can’t say that helps convince me of your innocence.”

“Mrhmff… Shining…” Twilight whined in response.

I laughed – carefully avoiding my normal cackle. “I may have a talent with words, but I’m not that kind of sweet talker.”

“I’ll take your word for it. I’m Shining, Shining Armor.” He let go of my hoof, turning back to Twilight. “So, chocolate chips or blueberries?”

“Hmmm…” Twilight’s face was still flush, and her tail twitched back and forth, but she was trying. “Both?”

“Told you!” A beacon of love walked out of the kitchen, and my heart stopped. Clutching my chest I tried not to die at the sight of a proper goddess. “Pancakes are ready!” Blueberry and chocolate chip pancakes – the food of the gods.

I rushed to the table to avoid prostrating myself, for the urge to do so was high with the amount of love Cadance was emitting. Mother had said Equestria could feed us indefinitely, but to see the how and why in pony was overwhelming. Before me was love itself, and ve marveled at the taste. It was pure untainted honey rushing forth from infinity. It spread fast, and diluted quickly, but that was to be expected – most of it was a glimpse into the love of other ponies.

And that wasn’t even counting her love for Shining – like a rain of soft rose petals and honey drops.

“Somepony is hungry!” The goddess— No. Filters clamped down. Ve were not going to get swept up in this like I did with Father Arachne. Cadance. Cadance grinned.

As everypony followed our lead, plates were put on the table. Four plates. “You were expecting me?”

“Hoping.” Cadance shrugged. “Twilight hasn’t shown interest in anypony since Flash.”

Twilight – who was eating with the voraciousness of Pinkie Pie – stopped to choke on her food. Ve don’t know what she expected. Cadance hadn’t been privy to our conversation with Shining, and he had all but said, ‘We’re here to see your new coltfriend.’

“Honey.” Shining coughed. “They aren’t together. He’s just another student.”

“Oh…” The Princess of Love’s ears – perky, and twitching with repressed energy – fell flat. Her eyes took on the faint sparkle of almost-tears, and her lower lip protruded in a pout. It was like seeing somepony buck a puppy, and I opened my mouth without thinking.

“I suppose I could always court your sister, with your express permission, of course.”

“W-what?!” Twilight – having regained her windpipe – was drinking her coffee again, and did another spit take.

I shrugged. “Ponies seem to want it, and I honestly don’t think it’ll go anywhere – meaning we can avoid the awkward inevitable break up – so we might as well give them a show.”

Twilight blinked. “That’s… That’s brilliant! Why didn’t I ever think of a fake coltfriend to get Rarity off my back? I could kiss you right now.”

“Honey?” Shining looked to his wife.

“Yes?” She seemed to be grimacing and smiling all at the same time.

“Should I be worried?” He nodded toward Twilight and me as his sister gushed over all the pros that might come from a fake relationship with me.

“I don’t know, Shining.” Her ears were twitching violently. “I’m not sure I’ve ever heard something more jaded, but it can always blossom into something more.”

“I hope not.” Twilight frowned. “That’d make teaching Wicked all the benefits of friendship much more complicated.”

I sighed as Shining sputtered and Cadance raised an eyebrow. Of course, Twilight would say it like that. Ve don’t know why I expected something different, and ve acted quickly to correct things. “Not those kinds of benefits.”

“What?” Twilight tilted her head for a second. “Oh… Oh!” Her blush returned. “Yeah… Not those kinds of benefits....”

“Anyways,” I gladly changed the subject to something less uncomfortable – like my trip to the spa. “Snow Flurry was here earlier, Twilight. She wanted to go to the spa with you today.”

“Snow Flurry?” Twilight scrunched her muzzle.

“You know,” I gestured broadly, “Snow Flurry, your razzmatazz—" Shining mouthed the word razzmatazz to Cadance, who shrugged "—pegasus friend with the snow cone cutie mark?”

“Oh!” She finally caught on that it was my other disguise. “Yeah, I think I can do that. What are your plans for the day then?”

I grinned at her words. She was learning. Now I could excuse Wicked Smooth without raising suspicion.

“Oh, I’m going to Canterlot for some errands. Not sure I’ll make it back by the end of the day.”

“Oh…” Cadance stretched in her seat. “The spa sounds lovely right now. It’s been nothing but meetings all week. Can I come?”

Twilight smiled sheepishly at me, scratching the back her head. “Did Flurry have any preferences about guests?” She put a little too much emphasis on ‘Flurry’, but was otherwise perfect with her twist of the truth.

Ve sighed, all too aware that one did not snub royalty. “She said you could bring Rarity, so I assume any and all friends are welcome.”

“Great!” Twilight stuffed the last of her pancakes down her gullet. A satisfied growl hummed its way from her throat – too low a frequency for pony ears – and ve idly compared it to the way a starving drake acts on finally getting a meal. “I’ll go get ready then.”

Jumping up, she dashed from the room. Upon her exit, it instantly got chillier. I didn’t know if it was my dread or that of the couple across from me, but I didn’t like the looks they were giving me.

“So… About you dating my sister…” Shining began.

I felt it appropriate to shift up some overactive sweat glands. “Oh… Umm… Yeah… That... I really must stress that I really have no interest in any form of intimate relationship with her….”

“That’s exactly the problem.” Cadance rubbed her hoof along the bridge of her muzzle.

“It is?” Shining and I both looked at her, heads tilted.

Cadance sighed. “I’m the Princess of Love, sweetie. I know how these things work, and I know Twilight is destined for a very nice slow romance – the kind where two long time friends wake up one day to want something more.”

She flailed an arm dramatically. “What you two are about to do? One of the worst possible scenarios. When one of you decides they want something more, this ‘fake’ relationship will rear it’s ugly head.”

I smiled sheepishly. “We don’t have to—"

“Too late!” Cadance flared her wings. “Twilight thinks it’s a great idea, so now—" she grinned a very predatory grin "—now Shining and I will have to train you to be perfect boyfriend material.”

I gulped, nearly drowning in sweat. Ve cast our mind about for possibilities. “I— I— I could just help you find somepony else?”

“No. No. No.” Cadance tutted. “I can see that Twilight already likes you. One day, some day, she will like like you—" Shining snorted, but his wife continued "—and she will panic because the relationship is supposed to be fake, but you will be there for her.”

Ve gulped again, mind exploding through the many paths of probability. Most ended as Cadance foretold. In one small slip of the tongue, ve had trapped ourselves on a very slippery slope. “Oh, no…. You’re absolutely right, and I’ve made a horrible mistake. I can’t date Twilight.” I began to hyperventilate.

Shining glared. “I swear… if you break her heart, I’ll—"

“Shining don’t frighten him more.” Cadance shushed him with a gentle wing to his face. “We need to open him up to the idea, not fill him with doubts.” She lowered her head to look in my eyes. “Why can’t you date Twilight, Wicked?”

My heart stopped, and it wasn’t because of too much love. “Umm… It’s complicated.”

“Try me.” She smiled.

I chewed my tongue, thinking up a suitable excuse. “I’m her student, and—"

Cadance huffed. “Oh please, don’t give me that. You’re already her friend, after all.” I sat saying nothing, and she took it as permission to guess. “Another mare?” Her eyebrow arched the smallest of inches.

I coughed. “You could say that.”

The eyebrow rose further. “Another stallion?”

I rolled my eyes. “Not really.”

She frowned. “Then what?”

Ve sighed. Things were getting dangerously close to lying territory. “My family. My mother specifically.”

I flinched as Cadance set a hoof on my cheek. “Oh, honey… You should know Twilight won’t care that you aren’t a noble.”

I grimaced. “I’m more worried there will be a commotion about me being a Lord.”

Shining blinked. “You’re a lord? You certainly don’t act like most of the Canterlot nobles. Are you from another province?”

Horseapples and bugbits. Just keep implying things, they’ll fill in the rest. “My family isn’t from Equestria.”

“Ah.” Shining’s brow furrowed. “You’re worried about the politics of the thing. Twilight won’t give a flying feather about the politics.”

“Oh, she might if it’s me….” I forced a laugh.

“Don’t worry.” Cadance patted me with a wing. “We just want Twilight to be happy, and we’ll do everything we can to make everything work out. That might include coltfriend lessons with Shining here, but I’m sure you can manage.” She sighed. “If only we could start today….”

“Wait!” She perked back up. “We can start today! Shining can walk you to the train!”

“He can, can’t he.” I wondered if forcing a grin too far would decapitate me. Now I would need to buy a ticket and jump the train. That wasn’t that big an issue, though. No, the real issue was much more simple.

Somewhere, somewhen, Shining and Cadance would find out the truth, and, when they did, ve were going to die a very painful death.

The Inevitable (Morpheus) Part 3

The Inevitable (Morpheus) Part 2

Shining Armor is a decent enough pony -- when he’s not trying to rip my throat out. Indeed, in some ways he emphasizes many of the traits I find endearing in ponies. He’s incredibly loyal -- almost to a fault. He’s understanding and empathetic -- provided you haven’t ever brainwashed him. And he’s willing to look past mistakes -- so long as they aren’t made on his wedding day.

Really, though, it’s quite understandable. Mother did quite a number of things to him. I can only be lucky he’s learned not to generalize it to all changelings.

Shining Armor had not said one word since we left the castle. Not. A. Single. One. His face was puckered like that of a pony who’d eaten a very sour lemon, and – seeing the family resemblance – I let him stew in his thoughts as we walked to the train.

Ponies went about their day as we progressed – talking and laughing as we walked in silence. A couple foals on their way to school barreled past, intent on enjoying their last bit of freedom for the day in a race. They galloped through the nearby ponies, and daringly slid around them. One was a bit too cocky and knocked into Shining as she tried to pull a tight turn. She fell onto her haunches – pencils and papers flying everywhere – breaking Shining from his thoughts for a moment.

He smiled as he helped the filly to her feet while I hastily collected the supplies, and, as she ran off with a squeal of thanks, he hesitantly began to walk again.

He hummed. “So… I’m not really sure how to go about this. Cadance might think the world of me, but I always thought I made a lousy coltfriend. Something always went wrong on every date.”

He shook his head. “I suppose that’s the first lesson, though? Things can and will go wrong, but the right pony won’t even care. Once, I made a fool of myself in front of the whole school for her – singing a song to ask her to prom.”

Chuckling, he continued, “The whole school was laughing at me, and it was probably one of the most embarrassing things I ever did, but it was worth it. While everypony else was laughing, Cadance just stood there speechless, barely even able to clap. There were tears in her eyes and the tiniest little smile just for me.”

The taste of honey dipped steel was strong in the air. There was so much feeling – so much devotion – tied to that memory. I couldn’t help but take a tiny nibble.

I sighed as the hollowness in my heart filled with a heady warmth. One bite and I was already full. “That sounds nice. I’m not sure it really matters, though. Twilight’s a bit of a perfectionist.”

Shining shrugged. “She’ll need to learn it too.”

Ve snorted. “That’s assuming she wants to date. My money is currently on her panicking so much it ruins our friendship.”

That was a lie, and my insides churned at the fact. No, Cadance’s words haunted our simulations as ve desperately sought an escape. Looking back at my interactions with Twilight, our money was on Twilight wanting to try a relationship down the line. It could, of course, be years down the line, but, now that ve were aware of the possibility, ve needed to make sure events unfolded in our favor. There were so many things that could go wrong with such a relationship, and a break up would easily ruin negotiations.

“Don’t worry so much.” Shining lightly swatted me with a hoof. “Twily’s a smart mare. At the very least, she’ll want to stay friends. If you don’t believe me, think back to a time you really screwed up with her.” He squinted at me. “I’m sure, with all the drama and adventure Ponyville goes through, there must be something you did. Think back to that, and remember how she reacted.”

We had reached the train station, and the train was just pulling in. As I moved toward the ticket stand, Shining held out a hoof to stop me. With a firm, no-nonsense voice, he commanded, “No, let me get your ticket. Just think about what I said.”

I grimaced slightly as he walked off, but dutifully closed my eyes. There were plenty of mistakes to draw from, after all. Few of them were strictly my fault, but… well… there was when we first met. Ve knew ponies didn’t react well to the echo in our voice, and ve knew the last thing ve wanted was to scare Twilight, but everything ve did seemed to be ruining our only chance. Ve got loud, angry.

I got afraid.

All that did was make Twilight even more fearful, and thus the loop continued. Ve were both ready to fall apart, and ve were ranting at her because I was messing everything up. Somehow she swallowed her fear to listen. She moved past it. I hadn’t told her yet, but that was Discord’s condition for bringing in Celestia and Luna, and it was with mind numbing relief that ve witnessed what our peers called impossible.

“Somepony’s happy.”

I blinked to find Shining Armor had returned, and realized that at some point my grimace had turned into the smallest of smiles. “Happy? Close, but not exactly. I can’t really describe it.”

“Special someponies are like that.” Shining said simply, shrugging.

The music stirred within me – a nameless tune with few words. For once, it felt right at home, yet I felt no urge to dance. “Maybe you’re right, we’ll see some day~ The music will begin to play~ She’ll look into my eyes and say~ Everything will be ok~”

Shining chuckled, glancing at my Cutie Mark. “What are you, a poet?”

I inhaled sharply, turning toward the train. I was taking this too seriously, and ve needed to leave. “I am many things – some of which you wouldn’t believe.” Ve started toward the train, trying to hold my composure.

“Keep it together!” Shining called from behind me. “Trust me! I’ve been where you are! She may be out of your league right now, but it won’t matter in the long run!”

Ve gave a rushed wave goodbye – not even looking to see if it was returned – and hastened onto the train. Locking ourself in the bathroom, ve burst out of our disguise and looked into the mirror.

Ve reached out a hoof to touch my reflection, but it looked just as confused as I felt. “Hive help me… Do I have a crush?”

It wasn’t a crush. It wasn’t a crush. It wasn’t a crush.

Such was our mantra as I jumped from the train – taking flight as a razzmatazz pegasus. At the least, it was simple friendship – and today was just throwing me for a different kind of loop. At the most, it was an unhealthy over-affection for the incredible amount of good she’d done for me. That wasn’t a crush. It was like Stockholm Syndrome or something – and could be dealt with in time.

Time ve didn’t have right now. I was late for a spa date— Spa session. Ve ground our teeth together. Date was entirely the wrong word. Even if I had a crush – which ve didn’t – the affection would need to be returned to constitute a date. Ve hadn’t tasted any sort of blossoms or honey in her emotions earlier, so clearly it wasn’t a date.

I hurtled through the air towards the spa, wings buzzing furiously. Too furiously, perhaps. A pegasus close enough to me could probably feel the improper displacement of air.

I dropped, and hit the ground running. The wind whistled through my fetlock cavities, and my stabilization plates pounded like pistons – adding some extra oomph to each step. Ponies whinnied in apprehension, rearing out of my path as I darted between them, and I shifted in the sweat glands from earlier, so I could work a good lather out of my system. Running from my problems: the sting of exerting my muscles helped distract me from our jumbled thoughts.

The spa came into sight with no sign of the princesses. I could still make it first. Bursting through the door, illusionary coat a mess, I stumbled to the desk like a madmare. “Three, please.”

The receptionist stared at me, and I heard a giggle behind me. “Don’t worry, she’s with us.”

Wings flared, I pivoted quickly. Twilight and Cadance were lounging on the sofa reading magazines.

Twilight smiled. “I figured you might be too busy to make it before us. I already ordered the deluxe for all of us, so you don’t need to worry about paying.”

I open and shut my mouth several times, gasping for breath. “Rarity?”

Twilight shook her head. “‘In the zone, as it were.’ She didn’t even jump on the news that me and Wicked Smooth are ‘dating.’” She winked, like her declaration was some kind of game. The receptionist gasped, and ran from the room. Hushed whispers soon came through the door – just loud enough for me to hear but not understand. I groaned internally, wishing for the chance to hold my head in my hoof.

Instead, I laughed like nothing was wrong. “That’s great! I hope things work out for you two. Are you sure it’s a good idea, though? I mean, given his current state of affairs?” My smile failed to decapitate me once more.

She blinked before narrowing her eyes to scrutinize me. Her emotions were like extra fuzzy cotton candy. “Do you know something I don’t?”

Oh sweet Hive, she was having fun with it. I had only occasionally felt such joy from her. She must have really hated other ponies trying to set her up, more than anypony – herself included – had realized. She was so changeling about it too – daring me to break the ruse with Cadance in the room.

“Ah… Well… You see…” My wings flared and I felt a blush creeping up my neck. She was acting far too changeling about this. Were all princesses trained to be like this? Father Arachne had said Celestia was more changeling than he, and I didn’t think he was serious, but Cadance was sitting there with a smile – no doubt planning how to train Wicked Smooth to court Twilight – and Twilight was teasing me about being a changeling right in front of her. It was weird on so many levels. Not even an hour ago she’d been panicking about Cadance finding—

Ve made the connection, and looked Twilight in the eyes. “She knows, doesn’t she?”

Her eyes sparkled mischievously. “Apparently, Celestia told her while they were visiting my parents.”

Cadance nodded. “I can—"

“Alright, darlings. Your deluxe session is ready.” The receptionist had returned with another pony, and Cadance quieted. Both spa ponies wore gleaming smiles with far too many teeth.”We’re—" there was a distinct ‘v’ sound to the ‘w’ and ve blinked “—sorry for the wait, but we needed to have an important inter-staff meeting. We’ll be starting with the sauna, and following it will be a mud bath and facial. Then there will be a nice mineral bath to cleanse yourselves, and, finally a massage to knead whatever tension remains from your bodies.”

The spa pony looked to me. “As an option, you may also receive a hooficure. Princess Twilight was unsure if you’d want one.”

I shook my head. “No, but thank you.”

We were given robes and led to the sauna. My chitin – already subject to a lather – was soon swimming in sweat and condensed water. I groaned, stretching to let the moisture into my joints like oil into a machine. Ve were tempted to drift to sleep and mull over what needed to be done, but there was something ve needed to know first.

Ve opened one eye, and let it’s true nature shine through the illusion. “Ve take it Celestia told you because Mother was right?”

“Excuse me? We?” Cadance flicked an ear.

“Not we, ve!” Twilight clapped her hooves together. “Their language has an entire extra set of pronouns. Isn’t it great!”

Ve sighed. “Yes…. We’re getting off topic, though. Twilight didn’t know you knew at breakfast, which means Shining doesn’t know or you both would have brought it up. The fact that only you know suggests to us that Mother was right to replace you, and that you have a way to discern changelings beyond the normal detection spell.”

Cadance arched a brow. “Maybe I’m just more understanding of your situation than Shining.”

“Perhaps,” ve droned, “Celestia would want more of a reason than that, however. You and Shining are husband and wife. From our understanding, it would be very stressful to ask you to deceive him unless you needed to know before finding out on your own.”

“Fine…” It was Cadance’s turn to sigh. “You got me. I might not be a full empath, but I can sense love. Changelings mess with that sense. You distort the ebb and flow.”

I gulped. If my crush was in fact a crush – which it wasn’t – she’d know. Suddenly, her motives for boyfriend training were much more suspicious. Perhaps I was just paranoid, though. Ve didn’t have a crush, after all, and she might not sense changeling love if we messed with her senses.

Cadance gave a small, sad, smile. “To be honest, that sense is what has gotten Shining through things so far. He’s gotten better, though. He no longer pulls me aside to ask about certain ponies. He trusts I’ll tell him if a changeling is near.”

“I didn’t know things were that bad….” Twilight’s ears fell flat against her head.

Cadance stretched, settling into a more comfortable position. “He didn’t want you to worry, and neither do I. He’s getting better, trust me.”

“Better enough to not murder me for dating Twilight? That was your idea after all, and ve still think it’s a bad one.” Crafting a small breeze, I sent it Cadance’s way. The whisper of wind made swirls and eddies out of the steam in the air as it carried my words to her and her alone.

She just smiled in response.

The Inevitable (Morpheus) Part 4

The Inevitable (Morpheus) Part 3

There is an art to timing one’s entrances and exits so as to cause the greatest impact possible. It is a well respected art, so much so that we even have a word for it in Chitri.

Rarity, whether she knows it or not, has mastered this art so well that – even caught off guard – her entrances and exits leave a masterful impact on their surroundings. It is, in fact, questionable if there is another individual I have met more skilled than her in this area, if only because of the unintended ripples she leaves.

As an example of this, her abrupt entrance and exit into our spa date – being entirely focused on Twilight – led to a remarkably impactful discussion between me and Cadance.

A commotion could be heard through the sauna door. Heated voices were distorted by thick, insulated, walls, and – with a swirl of clashing hot steam and cold, air-conditioned air – Rarity burst into the room.

“J’accuse!” She pointed at Cadance, paused, looked at Twilight and I several times, then pointed to Twilight with a manic gleam in her eyes. “J’accuse!”

“Rarity?” Twilight tilted her head. “I thought you were busy?”

Rarity gave the daintiest snort – the inhalation too noisy for a sniff. “Yes, I was, and you know what you tried to sneak past me while I was working earlier!” She took a step forward while Twilight shrank back. She gave a whinny of protest, but Rarity ignored it, repeatedly jabbing a hoof towards Twilight. “You! You! You! You! You! You!” She scoffed. “You had the gall to tell me you were dating him—" she jabbed a hoof at me, and I looked to make sure the door had closed "—and think I wouldn’t notice!”

“You didn’t notice! Eep!” Twilight squeaked as a blue glow enveloped her ear and pulled.

“You are coming with me, and you are going to tell me everything.” Rarity purred the last word with such ferocity one might call it a hiss. She dragged Twilight, protesting, from the room, and – with an ominous thunk – the door closed trapping me alone with Cadance.

Cadance inhaled deeply, and for the first time, I caught a hint of sour milk and cyanide. “So how are you feeling?”

I groaned as I stretched once more – letting the steam curl through my fetlock cavities. Ve closed our eyes, pushing our senses to the limit for any hidden reserves of mistrust. “That depends. One does not simply forget Mother.”

Cadance smiled. “Oh, I got over Chrysalis a while ago—" there was a spike in the taste of sour milk in the air "—mostly.” She shuddered. “I’m not sure I’ll ever really get over it.”

I snorted. “I can relate. Ve suppose I’m alright then – as long as you’re honest with Twilight about that.”

Cadance waved a hoof towards the door. “She already knows. It was the first thing she asked when I told her I knew. I’m fine with moving forward.” She sighed. “Shining, though…”

Ve shook our head. “Yes, ve gathered what his response would be earlier.”

Cadance nodded, and silence lapsed between us. It lasted for several wonderful minutes until the Princess of Love broke it. “You know, when I asked how you were doing earlier, you didn’t really answer my question.”

“Ve know,” ve droned, letting our voice thrum through my disguise. “You were probing to see if your manipulations had borne fruit, but the fact you had to ask implies ve do not, in fact, have a crush on Twilight.”

Cadance tittered. “Or maybe I’m just being polite?”

Ve stared at her, and the tittering changed to full out laughter. Her mirth wasn’t forced, yet ve could still taste the unease she so skillfully blocked out.

Finally, Cadance gained control of her giggles. Instead, she stared solemnly towards the ceiling. “To tell the truth, I just don’t know…. Hay… I didn’t know Lyra was a changeling until today when Twilight told me, so I guess it’s just something about you and your…” she hesitated “...Hive?”

She smiled softly. “You’re different from the rest, though. Not much, but it’s there. It’s like the difference between a glass being half-empty and half-full. Chrysalis and her army felt empty, but you… you feel full of potential.”

Ve inhaled and exhaled mightily, steam swirling in our breath’s wake. Our thoughts whirled with it. “That’s… that might be because of yesterday. Ve learned that our Hive is wounded— No, more than that, broken. Until yesterday, ve didn’t think it was possible for us to fall in love. The Hive believes we have evolved beyond the need. They’ll keep believing it until ve tell them – show them – the truth, but ve—"

“Oh… Oh, my… You don’t know how to tell them….” Cadance whispered. “You don’t even know how to feel about it yourself….”

She sucked in a breath as I nodded. “Oh, my… I’ve really made a mess of things haven’t I? Everything I’ve said about you and Twilight being together only made things worse, didn’t it?”

Ve shook our head. “It was something Shining told me to do. Before that, ve were just worrying about the logistics.” I shuddered. “Now I’m all confused. Ve know I can feel love, and yet ve do not know the when or the where or the whom. I do not understand it, and so ve hesitate to tell the others. What if ve’re wrong? What if I’m wrong?”

Closing my eyes, I lowered myself until I was laying flat on the bench. I heard a shuffling sound and the distinct click of hooves on tile. The taste of sour milk and cyanide got stronger, but there was also a dryness to the princess’ feelings – almost, but not quite a wine. Pity.

Cadance was next to me now. I could hear her breathing beside me. She sat there – next to me, too close for comfort – and wrapped a wing around me. I’m pretty sure we both flinched as it made contact.

“Wanna know what I think?” Her voice thundered in my ears despite being nothing more than a whisper. When I didn’t respond, she continued. “I think that maybe you should try and meet somepony first. Figure out what love is, and show every other changeling yourself.”

Ve opened our mouth to object and got a face full of feathers.

“No,” Cadance murmured, “I don’t mean Twilight. Well… I might, but only if that’s what you want. You can take things slow, and learn together. Goodness, knowing Twilight, it might take years.”

I hid my head in my hooves. “But there’s a risk to not telling them...”

I got another face full of feathers, and Cadance sighed. “Then tell your subjects the risk and let them decide for themselves. Whatever the risk is, you clearly aren’t confident enough to decide for them right now. Just focus on yourself.”

Hot, sweaty, and trapped in an uncomfortable wing hug, ve mulled her words over. After a minute or so, Cadance lifted her wing off of me, and the steady clip-clop of hooves on tile signaled a return to her seat.

Perhaps it was time to focus on myself a little more. Even this trip to the spa was more of a means to find time to meditate on our problems than truly relax. The relaxation was merely a side benefit.

Ve spent so much time worrying over the Hive that it was no wonder I was as stressed as I was. Ve didn’t want to shirk our duties or anything, but it wasn’t healthy to keep doing this. Ve couldn’t just throw filters at all of my problems, and some me time would really cut the stress.

I stretched, letting the steam soak into my muscles once more. Hundreds of the little plates on my body popped, sending a crackling rumble through the room. Cadance squeaked at the noise, and I couldn’t blame her. As wonderful as the sensation was, it didn’t sound that way. I was fortunate it happened in private, as it would have been a clear giveaway of my disguise. Pony bones didn’t crack like that.

“Focus on myself...” Ve thrummed. “When was the last time ve let myself do that?”

“Was it when you took the throne?” There was a rustle of wings, and I opened my eyes to see Cadance settling into a more comfortable position. “When I was given charge of the Crystal Empire, I was so wrapped up in my duties that Shining had to throw a coup to get me to take a break.”

I chuckled. “Maybe. I think it’s just the state of things. Even before Mother abdicated, ve worried non-stop.”

Cadance hummed in understanding. “I was like that at first, and Twilight still is. Maybe that fake relationship with her will actually do some good for you both then. It’ll give the two of you an excuse to relax. Go to the movies. Take her to dinner. Go on a picnic. There’s plenty of things you can do as friends for fun that can look like a date.”

She stretched, flaring her wings briefly to shake the sweat from them. “Just promise me that if either of you do decide you want something more you’ll be there for Twilight because she will panic.”

I closed my eyes again, recalling everything that had happened since meeting Twilight. “That… That seems like the least I can do.”

The door opened, and Twilight sheepishly stuck her head inside. Upon seeing the two of us relaxed in the quiet hissing of steam, she scurried in and poked me with her horn. “Your turn. I told her we’re taking things slow, so stick to that.”

I tilted my head to the side. “We’re really doing this? You want me to lie to your friends?”

She shook her head vigorously. “It isn’t lying! Assuming going nowhere means a speed of zero, we’re taking things very slowly. It’s basic math!”

I sighed. “A changeling answer if I ever heard one.” One last chance. “Are you sure you’re okay with this?”

She huffed, puffing her cheeks out. “Yes! I’m tired of letting Rarity swoon about my lack of a love life. At least now we can both be happy. Isn’t that worth a teeny-tiny lie?”

I rubbed a hoof on the bridge of my muzzle, very aware of Cadance’s stare. “Fine. Ve suppose it’s more of a—" I chittered a word in chitri "—than a lie. You do know we’re going to need to sell this, though, right?”

Twilight blinked as my words settled in. There was a barely audible gulp as the potential implications hit. “Umm… I can take you to dinner, I guess? It can’t be that hard to fake a date. I mean, Shining was so shy about dating Cadance that I didn’t even know they were dating until the wedding.”

I snuck a glance at Cadance who shrugged – too noncommittal a gesture to tell us how true that was. Ve sighed internally and thought of my talk with Cadance.

Don’t worry. Have fun with it. These were my goals.

I got up and headed to the door. “Alright then, as long as you’re sure.”

“Wait!”

I looked back at Twilight who smiled sheepishly.

“I almost forgot to warn you. She’s running on fumes, so she’s a little…” She swung her hoof in circles.

I sighed. “Alright, then.”

Stepping outside, I was swiftly swept up by Rarity’s magical grip.

“There you are!” She pulled. “I was just about to come in and grab you myself. You and I need to talk, and our wonderful hosts have split your party of three into two parties of two! Only temporarily, I assure you, but you’re mine and only mine for the mud baths and facials!” She tittered maniacally.

I was led by my ear to the baths – full of thick, soft, earthy muck – and I blinked at Rarity entering hers without any sort of complaint. It would take hours to get that mud out from my plates if I wasn’t careful. Assessing our options, ve started melding together as many pieces of chitin together as ve could to lessen the total surface area. When that was accomplished, I slid my fetlock cavities closed – locking the stabilization rods in place – then gingerly stepped into the mud. Settling in, my movements were stiff and jerky, but I wasn’t going to have dirt in all the weirdest places.

A few bursts of tremorsense told me this was, at the least, good earth – rich in all the right minerals. I might not be able to move easily in it, but I’d come out with a glossy sheen, so it wasn’t a total waste. With a schlorp I submerged myself fully, counted to ten, then surfaced to find Rarity staring at me with cucumber-covered eyes.

“Well… that’s one way to get a facial.” Her eyebrow arched up from beneath the cucumber. In response I sank back in and blew some bubbles, eyes barely visible on the surface.

“Bah.” She harrumphed. “You’re just as bad as Rainbow Dash sometimes.” She shifted her position to sink further in the mud, yet avoided going under.

“So…” Her emotions were like orange rolls – sweet with a small curious tang. I nibbled them only to blink at a sudden overload of curiosity. The taste of orange was compacted, folded in on itself, and exponentially stronger on the inside.

As our hosts finished putting her facial on, they turned to me expectantly. I shook my head – the mud bath was fine enough – and they shrugged before walking off, probably to similarly treat Twilight and Cadance.

“So…” Rarity reiterated, horn glowing for a few seconds. As it finished, the background noise of the spa muted.“Now that we have some privacy. You’re going to tell me everything.” The dam holding back her emotions buckled.

I arched a mud-soaked eyebrow. “You know a sound screening spell?”

She waved a hoof dismissively. “Some gossip you don’t want getting out. I would think you’d understand that more than most.”

I nodded.

“Well then, spill!” Her smile had a manic gleam and as many teeth as a shark. There were some splashes of mud as she almost jumped me, the slight tang of orange in the air suddenly a raging torrent of juice.

I leaned back defensively. “Woah! Easy! There’s not much to say! We talked a bit, discussed the pros and cons, and figured – with everypony else seeming to think it was a good idea – we’d give it a shot. Don’t know what else you’re expecting. A whirlwind romance?”

Sticking to the not-quite-truth was easy, although ve doubted it’d make Rarity happy like Twilight thought. Rarity wanted romance. Neither me nor Twilight was likely to meet her expectations in that regard.

I arched an eyebrow. “Twilight’s not really a romantic, and ve discovered that changelings could feel love less than 24 hours ago. The kind of romance you want isn’t in the cards.”

Ve needed to sell the confusion gloss things over, so ve lowered our head submissively such that it looked like I was hiding in the mud. “Ve’re not even sure we should be calling it dating.”

There. That should push the idea that we’re both unsure – which I am – that we’re taking it slow – from a certain viewpoint – that any faux pas on our part was entirely from a lack of experience – which neither me nor Twilight had – and that Rarity should not get her hopes up – which is what ve really wanted. Honestly, ve don’t know why ve didn’t notice that last problem sooner. Ve could have used it to talk Twilight out of this crazy idea. It was too late now, though.

Rarity, for her part, continued grinning. It grew and grew, threatening to replace her entire mud mask, and cold, soulless, cucumber-covered eyes sparkled with condensation that seemed to laugh with demonic glee. Her emotions flared with a sugary joy so sickeningly sweet I could never forget it. It was like a web of cotton candy collapsed upon me, drowning me in its tooth-rotting goodness, and I couldn’t help but whimper once or twice in the silence enveloping us.

“Finally…” Rarity purred.

This was not what ve expected. Ve expected disappointment, sadness, and whining. This was more akin to the Pink Menace’s level of ecstasy.

“Pardon?” I sunk into the mud.

“Isn’t it obvious?” She cackled, and for a moment I was reminded of mother. “Everything has fallen into place. It took far longer than I expected – far, far, longer – yet Twilight has unwittingly trapped herself in a relationship of the most romantic kind. This day has been just perfect.”

“Pardon?” Twilight’s voice made for an excellent squeak and seemed oddly appropriate for me to use here.

“Twilight came up with the idea to ‘date’ you to appease me, didn’t she.” It was a statement of fact. “And you, in your chivalrous ways, agreed to make her happy.” Another statement, but ve didn’t correct her that my big mouth gave Twilight the idea, nor that I was most reluctant to go along with it.

“Bookish, naive, uneducated in the ways of love, you both try to fake it – not noticing you’re made for each other! Days turn into months, months turn into years, and before you know it you’re as good as married.” A cucumber slid off to reveal an even more sparkly eye with a terrifyingly wide pupil. She had leaned closer and closer to me, and I could see the bags under her eye. “And in that moment you both realize you’re in love, you’ll spend years of pent up sexual tension in weeks— Neigh! Months! Months of passion! You, her prince! She, your princess! It will be…”

I decided discretion was the better part of valor and began to slink out of the tub. Staring into the future, she didn’t even notice, and there was a hint of leather in the air that ve found terrifying. Apparently, Twilight was not the only one who had years worth of issues built up from all the matchmaking.

I had made it to the door for the mineral baths when Rarity’s voice echoed through the building. “Checkmate, Twilight Sparkle! Check and mate!”

I had to wonder if Rarity actually planned this, or if she was just on a sleep-deprived emotional high. Either way, that outburst had gotten her the last word, so point for Rarity.

The Inevitable (Morpheus) Part 5

The Inevitable (Morpheus) Part 4

I didn’t have the heart to tell Twilight that Rarity already saw through the ruse – that she might have planned it. Ve figured it would only stress her more, and so kept quiet when Twilight and Cadance rejoined me in the mineral baths.

I simply relaxed and let them do the talking. Ve dozed and let our mind wander from problem to problem. Soon it was time for the massage, and before I knew it we were done and heading back to Castle.

Twilight stopped as we hit an intersection. “Cadance?”

“Yeah, Twilight?” The pink princess tilted her head.

“You head on back.” Twilight waved a wing towards Castle in the distance. “Snow Flurry and I have something we need to do.”

“We do?” I blinked, and she poked me with her horn.

“Yes, we do.” She nodded her head towards the street to our right as if I knew what she was talking about.

Was I supposed to know what she was talking about?

Cadance looked at the street sign, then nodded sagely as if Twilight’s nod had explained everything. “Ah, I see. You’re off to see the princess.”

Alarm bells went off in our head. Princess? Which princess? Process of elimination left only two real choices – three if you count Flurry Heart, but ve were pretty sure Cadance wasn’t quite ready for that. I didn’t even get a message notifying me of any impending visits! It was the least the diarchs could do. Hay, all they really needed was to tell one of my agents in Canterlot and have them tell us through the Hivemind.

Twilight – oblivious to my panic – finished her farewell to Cadance, promising to not take too long. Pulling on my leg, she led me along the road. We weaved between ponies going about their day, and I nibbled their emotions here and there: nothing too big to actually drain somepony, but I was hungry. Twilight stopped us in front of a small blue-grey building, and I blinked at the sign above the door.

Oh. Burger Princess. Ve were not expecting that.

Twilight inhaled deeply and sighed. “Ah… You smell that?”

Ve did indeed. The smell of grease and grilled hay was not one I had ever experienced myself, but many an infiltrator took to fast food as an easy and convenient meal. Rare as they were, they almost always had a mission, so speed was a necessity.

Twilight stood for a moment, reveling in the aroma, then began moving towards the entrance. I followed, and found myself surrounded by ponies tightly packed in booths. The Burger Princess was packed with ponies, and they roared upon our entrance.

“Twilight!”

The Princess of Friendship giggled and waved to everypony before turning to me. “Find a table and I’ll grab us something.” I wanted to know what that something was, but I didn’t get a chance to check as she quickly lost herself in the sea of ponies, heading towards the counter.

Overwhelmed by the sheer concentration of emotions and ponies, ve began erecting small filters for the ambient emotion in the air. There was so much joy from the foals playing with little plastic toys – like greasy fried dough slathered in powdered sugar. Every time ponies sighed in contentment from finishing their meals, it was like a breath of fresh air or a gulp of cool water – small mercies in the hot stifling room.

Picking my way between everypony, I tried looking for a seat. There was only so much I could do to keep the physical aspect of my guise believable with this many ponies around, though, and that made me jittery. My horn clenched in anxiety as I wove through the crowd – trying to collapse further inward upon itself than it could naturally go – while my stabilization plates locked in place to seal my fetlock cavities with a click.

Making little headway with no table in sight, I sighed, closed my eyes, and sent a pulse of tremorsense through the room. The returning echo was garbled enough that we were sure all the tables in the room were full. There was nothing smooth in the feedback to suggest a lack of ponies.

I snorted, and ve decided it would be prudent to try and find Twilight so we might inform her. Slogging my way towards the counter, I spied the most peculiar sign claiming Burger Princess was Princess Twilight Sparkle approved. It was a larger-than-life cardboard cutout caricature, and it was savagely tearing into an oversized hayburger in a manner less befitting a princess and more befitting a manticore or dragon.

I stopped and stared at it, while ve wondered whether or not it was an exaggeration. Ve had reports from before the wedding that detailed Twilight consuming food with almost predatory abandon, but ve thought it mere hyperbole on the infiltrators part. Even now ve were reluctant to assume such a lack of etiquette on her part, yet I had already seen evidence to the contrary. Just this morning, she had savagely torn into her pancakes with similar abandon.

That was in private, though. This was a public restaurant.

“I see you found my deepest darkest secret.”

I jumped, bumping into a number of nearby ponies also looking for a table. Their food went flying only to be caught in a familiar pink aura. As it settled back on their trays, they gave me a glare before grabbing their food and walking off to continue their search. Turning around, I found Twilight – hoof covering her mouth as she tried to hold back a laugh.

She nodded to the sign behind me, giggling. “And now that you’ve seen it – shame that it is – you won’t be leaving here alive, unless, that is—" she shook one of two very large bags in her grip "—you join my cult.”

I arched an eyebrow. “Princess Twilight Sparkle, goddess of hayburgers, pancakes, and books?”

“Shush, you.” Twilight stuck her tongue out at me. “My worshippers here don’t know I have other cults on the side.”

I eyed the bags – small grease stains spotting the corners. “Ve take it from the bags you realized there aren’t any tables?”

Twilight grinned. “Nope. Bags just carry more than trays, and the place is too packed for how many trays we’d need.” She tilted her head. “Couldn’t find a seat?”

I shook my head, and Twilight sighed – smile faltering. “Darn…. I was hoping to avoid the private table, but that’s been getting harder and harder lately.”

I shrugged, knowing the feeling. “The cost of royal visits.”

She nodded in agreement and gestured toward a door in the back. “Come on then.”

We picked our way through the crowd, Twilight greeting most of the ponies we passed. A couple foals ran up to get autographed Burger Princess toys, while several families invited us to sit with them. It was so nerve wracking that I almost missed the frigid chill in the air.

I glanced around, trying to find the source. “Uh, Twilight?”

“Almost there!” Twilight smiled, trudging on.

The sensation of snow falling – cold and dark and prickly – tingled over my chitin. I felt the chill in both my exo and endo skeleton, and the stifling room started to feel downright glacial. “Twilight?”

The princess didn’t deign to respond.

Finally – just as the feeling seemed like it would freeze me to the floor – we opened the door and slipped inside the surprisingly silent room. The instant we were alone the ice began to melt. Twilight started shuddering, and took a deep breath in. As she pushed the anxiety from her, a wave of warmth pulsed through the room.

“Damn it, Ivory.” She sighed. “Why’d you have to make the Burger Princess a tourist trap? I don’t want to have to retreat to a soundproofed room to eat. I don’t mind doing the princess thing for some ponies, but that… that…”

She waved a hoof in circles, trying to find the words. After a few seconds of trying, she huffed, and set our bags on the table – the banquet table with room for at least twenty ponies. Pulling out enough burgers and fries for two families – let alone two ponies – she sat her haunches on a pillow, unwrapped a burger, and wolfed the entire thing down in three large, ominous, bites.

Noticing me staring – her mouth speckled with drops of crimson ketchup – she waved at the seats around her. “Come on! Pull up a seat! I got a bit of everything – including the fish fillet sandwiches and the bacon cheeseburgers they keep on hand for the occasional griffon.”

I tentatively took a seat, and pulled up a burger. A tentative sniff allowed us to identify that it was, in fact, composed of bacon and steak. I blinked. “You’re alright with me eating meat?”

She shrugged, unwrapping a bacon cheeseburger herself. “There’s a mirror to another world in Castle that turns anypony who goes through it into omnivorous primates. I got used to meat a long time ago – even got a taste for it.”

I blinked as ve tried to process the info.

“Don’t give me that look!” She swatted me with a hoof. “Animals through the mirror aren’t as sapient. I set up some trade between our worlds, and provided a safe, equine, source of meat for restaurants in Equestria.”

“All so you could satisfy your taboo personal tastes?” I balked.

“And the tastes of foreigners like you.” She nodded.

I shook my head before biting into the tender beef. “You never cease to surprise us, Twilight.” Chewing slowly I swallowed, and ve pondered the situation for a moment. It was time to address the elephant in the room. “Ve suppose it’s not the pettiest exercise of power ve’ve seen, and it does benefit non-ponies visiting Equestria. Ve still find it surprising, however, to see you and the other princesses exercise such flawless—" I chittered one of our many words for masks. “The more I see of you and the others, the more ve see you acting not as a pony but a changeling, and ve aren’t quite sure what to make of it.”

Twilight choked on her drink for a second, and set her food down in a hurry to bang a hoof on her chest. Coughing, she managed to sputter. “I am so sorry about that. They just want a princess, and I have to be a princess, and—"

I stuck a hoof in her mouth to cut off the frigid and sour taste of building anxiety and panic. “It’s not a bad thing…. Hiding the truth from your friends would be wrong, but you told me, and I assume you’ve told the others?”

Twilight nodded weakly.

“Well, then you’re honest where it matters.” I paused to pop a couple fries and onion rings in my mouth. “What just happened out there?” I waved a hoof at the door. “That was a serious show of loyalty.”

Twilight’s face scrunched. “Loyalty?” The scrunch hardened. “Loyalty?! They’re the ones loyal to me, and I just— Just—" She threw her hooves in the air.

Ve paused for a second, debating the proper course of action. Twilight was sniffling, and that needed to be alleviated, because ve were her friend. There was a flicker of emerald flames as I shed my disguise, and I did what needed to be done.

I hugged her.

I don’t know what ve were expecting from it, but ve knew there was plenty of evidence of Twilight getting comforted by a hug from her other friends. The reports were very detailed on how they had a tendency for group hugs.

“There is a saying in Chitri.” I kept my voice a quiet thrum. “True loyalty lies not in following another, but knowing when to leave them.”

The sniffling stopped and she pulled back. The dry wine of her sorrow giving way to orange curiosity. She tilted her head at me, seemed to realize I was hugging her, and back peddled out of my grasp.

“What does that mean?” She was blushing, and her emotions were getting all rubbery. Ve weren’t sure what to make of that. She hugged her other friends all the time and never got embarrassed. Perhaps ve weren’t good enough friends yet. It was understandable, if lamentable.

There was nothing to do about it but carry on, though. “It means that the greatest show of loyalty a changeling can offer is self-sacrifice – knowing when to spend their life for the good of those they care for. I… I entertained the idea – the fancy, really – that that’s what I was doing coming to Equestria to negotiate.”

I shook my head, sighing. “You… You did that taking on Nightmare Moon and Discord.” I pointed a hoof at her. “You almost committed social suicide with nothing more than a hunch about Mother during your brother’s wedding! You, Twilight Sparkle, are a loyal pony willing to do your part. Wearing a mask to hide your uncertainty? Acting the part of princess? That is just another show of loyalty to your subjects – your ponies.”

Twilight stared.

And stared.

And stared.

Finally, she managed another weak smile. “You know, you explained that way better than Celestia did?”

I shrugged, returning to my food. “She’s probably had millennia to get used to it and might have forgot what it was like starting out.” Biting off the last of the bacon cheeseburger, I sank my fangs into a fish fillet sandwich.

Twilight sighed. “Maybe….”

We sat and ate for a bit.

“So…” Ve knew it was best to get the conversation rolling again, so I broke the silence. “You really have a cult centered around fast food?”

Twilight smiled sheepishly – the rubbery taste in the air intensifying. “Not really, thank Celestia for that, but I think I might actually have a couple priests scattered about Equestria.”

I crunched on an onion ring, preparing for a long lecture. “How does that work, anyway? I mean, Cadance is love. Celestia and Luna are the embodiment of the sun and moon. You are magic. Can you actually hear a pony’s prayers?”

Twilight tilted her head, ear flicking. “Well, there’s actually a lot of research that went into that, but most of it isn’t what I’d call valid or reliable.”

“Enlighten me, then.” I smiled, and listened as she began to talk.

“So why the Burger Princess?” It was getting late, and we needed to be going, so I began donning my disguise – Wicked Smooth to be exact. The Burger Princess was busy enough that no pony should notice the swap, and it was safer to do it here compared to some alley.

Wrappers littered the table. Somehow we had managed to finish all the food – mostly thanks to Twilight who had the voraciousness of a carnivore. She was starting to levitate the trash into the garbage cans, humming as she did so.

“Well,” her tail flicked, “I did say I’d get you dinner. We have to sell the dating thing somehow.”

“But I wasn’t disguised as Wicked coming in here.” I arched an eyebrow.

Twilight stopped, muscles tensing momentarily. “Oh, Celestia, I forgot about that.” She facehoofed. “I guess I just wanted to spend some time with you before heading back. You know, Cadance is going to want you to tell Shining what you are. It isn’t a secret she’s comfortable with keeping for too long.”

She scrunched her face. “Celestia’s also thinking of making the negotiations common knowledge soon, and I think it’d be better if my brother found out from you and me rather than the papers.”

I stared at her, wide-eyed. “He might kill me.” Ve ran the numbers, eyes glossing over. “There’s an uncomfortably high probability that he will kill me.”

Twilight shook her head. “I don’t think he will, but what Cadance said earlier worries me.”

“So you gave me my last supper, and chose Burger Princess?” I grinned morbidly. The absurdity of the idea was just helpful enough to distract me from my potential doom.

“Stop that.” She swatted me with a wing. “I’m just stalling, that’s all. Shining’s my BBBFF. I’m sure he won’t do anything drastic.”

She sure didn’t sound sure, but she was right. It would be better to take care of telling Shining now. We were dangerously close to lying territory, and letting the truth fester there for too long would taint it – making the reveal liable to explode in our faces.

I sighed, opening the door for Twilight as we left. Once more ponies clamoured for her attention, and I followed her unnoticed. That was okay. It gave us time to plan for Shining.

Stepping outside, we found the sky painted with a myriad of oranges signalling sunset. The clouds were cotton candy pink, and a number of pegasi were sitting on them, watching the day end. One white coated pegasus with a frizzy yellow mane had stuck a straw in hers and was noisily slurping away at her seat.

Ve had no idea that was even possible, and I pointed it out to Twilight.

“Yeah, that’s Surprise.” Twilight’s face scrunched. “She’s like a less Pinkie version of Pinkie Pie.”

I whimpered, and ve didn’t question it further. It was unwise to question the ways of the Enigma, after all. Ve did, however, leave a warning in the Hivemind that the Pink Menace might not be the only one of her kind. The idea of an entire subspecies of ponies similar to Reason’s Bane was terrifying, and merited further investigation – preferably from a safe distance with a ten foot pole.

It was walking back to Castle that we began to hear the funeral dirge as upbeat as a woodchipper. Our hooves stomped to a rhythm that ought not to have existed, and I opened my mouth to vehemently curse the day curses were born.

Instead, I found myself singing the first verse of a sure to be draining song. “I’m walking on death row~ Death row~ Death row~ I’m walking on death row, secrets to keep~”

Twilight fidgeted badly, and her tail flicked restlessly, but she couldn’t fight the music. She swayed her hips to the beat, and stomped her steps to the rhythm. “You’re walking on death row~ Death Row~ Death Row~ You’re walking on death row, secrets to keep~”

I pronked backwards, looking at Twilight. “What will I do?~ What will I say?~ Another pony finds out today!~”

“He’s walking down death row~ Death row~ Death row~ He’s walking down death row, secrets to keep~” The stallions of the town were singing – deep rumbling tones – and bells emphasized each enunciation of death row. “He’s walking down death row~ Death row~ Death row~ He’s walking down death row, secrets to keep~”

They did it going about their day too. No pony seemed put off but me and Twilight, and ve wondered how deeply rooted the curse was for Ponyville to find nothing amiss with spontaneous songs. Did they simply get that many heartsongs?

Twilight cringed, looking at the ponies around us, stomping their hooves to the beat. “Just do your best~ That’s all I can say~ For my brother finds out the truth today~”

We had a following now. “He’s walking down death row~ Death row~ Death row~ He’s walking down death row, secrets to keep~ He’s walking down death row~ Death row~ Death row~ He’s walking down death row, secrets to keep~”

The town turned to close their eyes and put their hooves over their ears as I belted out my next part. “What will I do?!~ What will I say?!~ The town will know this changeling someday!~”

With just as much eerie synchronicity, the town all turned to Twilight. “He’s walking down death row~ Death row~ Death row~ He’s walking down death row, secrets to keep~ He’s walking down death row~ Death row~ Death row~ He’s walking down death row, secrets to keep~”

She managed to squeak before her part came up. “Just be yourself!~ That’s all I can say!~ The town will find out the truth someday~”

Castle loomed in the distance, and my stabilization plates clenched and unclenched.

“He’s walking down death row~ Death row~ Death row~ He’s walking down death row, secrets to keep~ He’s walking down death row~ Death row~ Death row~ He’s walking down death row, secrets to keep!~” With a flourish, the town finished – dancing away as if nothing was wrong.

We stood in silence for a moment, the town nonchalantly going about it’s day again.

“Twilight?” I finally opened my mouth when I was sure no song would burst forth.

“Yes, Morpheus?” She squeaked, clearly shaken from the performance.

“Are all the ponies in this town crazy?” I cautiously took a step forward, wary that it would cause another dance. When I proved it was safe, Twilight followed me.

“They are,” she sighed, “but it kinda grows on you….”

Proper Recognition (Morpheus) Part 1

The Inevitable (Morpheus) Part 5

There is something to be said for how Shining managed to take the news that I was a changeling without attempting to murder me. The desire was there – the intent – but he maintained his composure well enough to never act upon it.

Such control is befitting of the captain of the royal guard, and I am thankful he responded as he did. What Mother did to him was inexcusable even in a time of war – if it can even be called war with Equestria, for the most part, ignorant of our intent. Most ponies and changelings would not have kept such a tight hold on their feelings in a similar situation. Even the most experienced Lords would be hard-pressed to do so.

“We’re back!” Twilight’s voice echoed through Castle as the doors rumbled close behind us.

I glared at the doors. They were being unnecessarily loud. Castle knew. He knew what was coming, and delighted in signaling the inevitable. As a castle of friendship made manifest, did that mean my confrontation with Shining was destined to smooth itself out, or did it mean I’d have to work more for it?

The lights flickered, and there were suddenly bright neon arrows pointing the way. They flashed between white and blue, with each bearing Shining's Cutie Mark.

Twilight chuckled at the sight. “I wonder how he’s making those?”

There was another flicker of light, and a giant portrait of Pinkie Pie decorated the wall to our left. It depicted her sitting in a plush red armchair – stroking Opalescence with the most changeling grin on her face. Its eyes were cut out, allowing somepony to peer through, although the wall lacked holes to do so.

“What does that even...” Twilight’s face slowly and painfully scrunched as she tried to understand.

“Uhh… Twilight…” I gestured to the arrows lighting the way.

Her face slowly unscrunched. “Right… Right...”

Moving down the hall in a comfortable silence. I savored the taste of wine with a hint of lemon in the air. With her curiosity put to the side, Twilight was worried for me.

Actually. Worried. For. Me.

It wasn’t like her general anxiety, and something about tasting it left me feeling warm and tingly. I couldn’t help but grin at the feeling, and she noticed.

“What are you so happy about?” She fidgeted.

I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply for a moment. “Nothing really. You’re just worried for me, and I’m not sure I can remember the last time somepony sincerely did that.” I shook my head. “I mean, my subjects kind of do, but it’s not even close to the same. They worry about me. You’re worrying for me. The taste is different in a way that’s hard to describe. A nice way.”

“I know what you mean….” The Princess of Friendship nodded. “That’s part of the reason I’ve been delaying getting guards. Ponies are already starting to worry about me, the princess, rather than for me, the pony. A guard would just exacerbate the problem.”

I nodded in agreement, and thought of Hera and the rest of my own guard. They were impassive as stone, with chitin just as hard. They were cold, terse, professional, and barely said a word. They were not the sort of changelings that screamed ‘befriend me.’

That said, they had stopped several assassination attempts meant for me.

“I can certainly relate to that, but a guard might not be so bad for you.” I squirmed at the look that got me. “Sorry. I just mean that a guard takes care of things you can’t.”

Twilight opened her mouth, but I cut her off. “For you, that’ll probably mean making sure everypony else is safe while you deal with the real threat. I agree that you won’t want something like my own guard or the royal guard, but that just means you should take an active interest before it’s forced on you. If you hoof pick your guard, you can make them friendly, approachable, and charismatic – the kind of ponies others will want to listen to in a crisis.”

We turned a corner to find a small army of bobbleheads nodding enthusiastically – Castle seemingly very eager to agree.

Twilight snorted at the sight, and a the taste of dry desert sand gusted into the room from Castle in response. He was still so lonely sometimes, and I wished I could help him. Perhaps later, when ve had more time to come up with more compelling arguments for Twilight. Walking on, we took another turn and came upon some stairs. We slowly curling our way upwards, and I waited to see if she wanted to respond.

The dry wine that was her emotions was spiced with more than lemons now. It was a hot spice that didn’t belong, and it bothered me that I had bothered her – frustrated her. There she had been worrying about me – she still was – and I’d gone and said something dumb— No. Not dumb. Just ill-timed.

Many staircases later, Twilight still hadn’t said anything, but that might have been the hundreds and hundreds of stairs – eight hundred seventy-nine to be precise. I knew this – despite only starting counting at the thirteenth floor – because there was twenty per floor, and we were a single step away from the forty-fourth floor.

A single step impeded our journey forward, as we both lay panting for our breath on the cold unfeeling stairs. I didn’t even know there were forty-four plus floors. I usually just flew down the center of the library.

“Why are there forty-four floors in your castle?” I gulped for air. “And how do Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Rarity manage?”

“They don’t.” Twilight croaked. “I think Castle is leading us on a wild goose chase, but it’s either press up or fall down… and down… and down….”

I gritted my fangs and pulled, slowly I made it to the next floor – or my head and forelegs did. The rest of me was stuck lying on a very uneven incline. That’s all stairs were really. They were the most uncomfortable kind of incline – the kind that jutted out to stab a pony in the back or belly. I counted myself lucky to have chitin. Twilight, though, bore the brunt of the ordeal.

I pulled myself forward again, and slid my stomach onto the landing. Now only my hind legs dangled over the stairs. “Why are you doing this, Castle?”

The lights flickered, and a note of artistically overdone calligraphy appeared before me. “I did nothing more than what was required of me, good Master Morpheus and Mistress Twilight. You were both taking a long time to return, and Master Shining and Mistress Cadance decided to pay homage to Sleipnir. I just provided them the dungeon suite, and discreetly moved it to the top floor where no pony would stumble upon it. —Friendship Castle.”

"They’re doing what in a what?” Twilight tilted her head by a fraction as she lay there.

It took us a few seconds to parse the euphemism, but when ve did I sighed. “They’re making the eight-legged horse, Twilight.”

“I’m sorry?” Her head tilted further.

“The beast with two backs.” I tried again, trying to keep it less crude for Twilight’s sake. Mother – braggart that she is – took great pleasure in recording Shining's less than noble tastes in the bedroom, and ve had a feeling they weren’t something Twilight would ever want to know of. There are some things ponies just should not do with an iron maiden.

Twilight’s ear flicked, and she hummed in thought. “Now I know that one’s Shake Spear’s, but I can’t remember the context.”

Well, I tried. "Sex, Twilight. They’re having sex.”

Her face puckered as a blush crept up her neck. “Oh, eww… Why’d you have to say it like that?”

I half-heartedly threw a hoof in the air. “You wouldn’t take the euphemisms!”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have used such archaic euphemisms!” She poked me.

“Castle started it!” I poked back, and – to my horror – it was somehow enough to start pushing her down the stairs.

Twilight eeped in surprise, flailing her limbs as she started to slide. In a flash her horn lit, and she popped out of existence. Reappearing on the landing in front of me, she slid a few inches before stopping – her momentum thankfully too small to carry her back over the stairs.

We stared at each other for a second, trying to figure out if it was all right to breathe.

“Maybe we should go to the library?” Twilight quivered slightly as she got up, but still held a hoof out to me.

“Yes… That might be safer.” I followed her out the forty-fourth floor exit. “Well…” I thought back to my first day in Castle. “It’ll be safer as long as I don’t scare you into tripping over the balcony again.”

We had chosen an alcove with a fireplace to wait at. The flames danced merrily within it, yet they were ignored as Twilight and I narrowed our gazes at the chessboard between us. Her white armies dominated the field, surrounding my few remaining pieces on most sides.

“Checkmate!” Twilight beamed as she moved her rook forward.

I looked at the board, and ve mulled over our possible legal moves – of which there none. A game of Swindler’s Chess was rarely so easily lost to mere checkmate, though.

“You’d think that,” I grinned, “but you forget I haven’t revealed my final cheat.”

She groaned, putting her head in her hooves. “What is it this time?”

“Nothing too big.” I shrugged. “I am merely able to move my pieces in such a way that they don’t have to protect the king during check.” I moved my bishop across the field, taking one of her pieces. “Check.”

She blinked at the board. “I don’t…” She picked up her rook to move for the kill, then set it back down. “Alright, what’s that accomplish?”

I chuckled. “Well, it’s called the Greater Good gambit, and there’s two ways to rule it – three if you also had that particular cheat. Rules as written, when in check you must defend the king, so the first outcome is I delay checkmate a turn while you’re forced to defend. It is for the greater good I risk my king.”

Twilight pouted. “Well that sounds unfair.”

I nodded. “Which is why the other rulings exist. If you – at any point – believe the game lost as I continue to delay in this fashion, you may – for the greater good – take my king and sacrifice yours for the greater good. This will result in a draw rather than your loss.”

Twilight glared at my bishop before glancing up. “And the third?”

I shrugged, reveling in how smooth the motion felt after the spa. “If you also took the Greater Good Gambit cheat, we would again exchange kings, but I’d lose.”

Twilight looked down at the board muttering various moves to herself. She had any number of ways to kill the bishop, and ve saw only four more ways to stall for a turn. Technically, it was impossible for us to win.

Twilight didn’t know that, though.

She looked up at me again, and I stared back with a cocky grin. Hesitantly levitating a knight, she took my bishop.

“I think you’re bluffing.” She glanced quickly at the board before returning her gaze to me.

Without missing a beat, my queen rushed in to take a pawn – threatening the king, but leaving itself wide open to her other rook. “You sure about that? Check.”

“Yes.” She took the queen, glaring at the board for a trap that wasn’t there. She licked her lips. Her head snapped between me and the board several times, waiting for my move. She didn’t have to wait long.

I moved my last rook down to threaten the king via the opening her rook had made. “Because I’ve been building things up to this point.” It was true, but I hadn’t expected a measly four turns to work the bluff. She’d barely used her cheats – moving in a mostly conventional fashion – and my own position suffered for it.

Shakily, her rook moved back to it’s previous position. I took it with my own rook, leaving it right next to her king. All she needed to do to win was take my rook with her king.

Face scrunching, Twilight tilted her. “Okay… Even Cadance doesn’t make moves this bad, and she’s awful at chess. Are you just stalling by throwing pieces away? Or are you actually planning something?”

I grinned wider, but said nothing.

She looked at the board, then me, then back to the board. She levitated her king up, and I gave a chuckling thrum just before she took the rook. Her king froze – millimeters from its victory – and Twilight cast her gaze about the board again.

Half a minute later she set the king down and sighed. “It’s too easy. You make everything complicated, and taking that rook is too easy….” She sighed. “I can’t figure out what you’re really planning, so I’ll take the draw.”

My grin threatened to decapitate me. “Oh good, that was the plan all along.” I cackled as Twilight pelted me with chess pieces.

“I think they’re this way, honey. I can hear them laughing.” We both froze at the sound of Shining’s voice.

“You go on ahead then.” Cadance’s voice followed. “I’m going to make us all hot chocolate before joining you.”

In a blur, ve began taking stock of my disguise, looking everything over to ensure nothing had slipped during the game. Twilight – for reasons unknown to us – was throwing the chessboard back together, and by the time the door opened she had taken up a spot on the opposite side of the alcove reading a book.

Shining entered and looked between us, eyebrow arching. “You know, Twily, it just looks more suspicious if you purposely move to the other side of the room. I get that you’re just friends, and you want to make that clear to me, but you keep doing it in ways that scream ‘Hey B. B. B. F. F! We were just making out in here.’”

A blush crept up Twilight’s neck. “Sorry. I guess I’m just overthinking things.”

“Maybe not as much as you think.” Shining grinned and moved over to sit beside her. With a jerk of his head, he signaled me over – away from the cozy fire. “I mean, if you really want a way to make your friends think you’re dating without actually dating, that’s the perfect way to do it.”

The blush on Twilight’s neck spread to her face. “I don’t think that’d be— I can’t even imagine what they’d— Only if they really aren’t buying it.”

Ve cringed internally. Rarity would no doubt have fun with that bit of info if— No. When. She’d have fun with that when she figured that out.

Shining snorted and rolled his eyes. “I was joking, Twily.” He poked his cushion a little, shifting around. “Anyways, Cadance said you two wanted to tell me something when you got back, and she’s off making cocoa – so I know she thinks it’s going to start a fight.” He glanced between us. “It isn’t, ‘Surprise, we were dating all along!’ is it?”

We both shook our heads fervently. “No!”

He cocked an eyebrow at me. “Good. Because we would need to have a long, long, talk about that.” He turned to Twilight. “If it’s not that, though. What is it?”

“Well…” Twilight bit her lip, “It’s… Umm… I mean…” There was a lot of wine and lemon juice in the air, and it dawned on us that Twilight was worried about me so much that she was most likely considering outright lying.

This, of course, couldn’t stand, and I gently prodded her with my muzzle to get her attention. “Perhaps I should just show him.”

“No…. No….” She waved me off. “Much better to tell him that you’re… you’re…” Her face puckered, tongue sticking out.

“Just let me do it, Twilight.” I looked Shining dead in the eye, and shed my disguise in a rush of green flames. “I. Am. A. Changeling.”

There were suddenly two shields between me and Shining as he tried to contain me, and Twilight tried to protect me.

Shining’s face was impassive as he warily scrutinized me, but I could taste the feelings he was trying not to show. The maelstrom of his emotions assaulted me threefold as the initial wave of sour milk signaling stark terror passed.

It was quickly been replaced with frigid dread that was so cold it burned, and bitter, poisonous, distrust coated steel blades of solid determination that dug into my chitin like knives. Beneath it all, he tried to hide his anger, yet I could feel it with each twisting stab of the knives. The metaphorical blades blazed with heat fresh from the forge.

And so I burned from cold and heat and rotting poison.

Ve didn’t trust my ability to speak without stuttering – probably even worse – such was the sensation, and, as Twilight had proven, my stuttering did not make a good first impression. Ve almost put a filter up, but I held back. I had to at least try to get through this without a filter.

The captain’s horn glowed brighter for a second – enveloping Twilight in it’s glow – and when he spoke it was with a flat, careful, drone devoid of emotion. “Twilight… The detection spell says that’s you, so I’ll give you a chance to explain. Why are you shielding that changeling from me like I’m the bad guy?”

I quivered as his emotions churned.

Ears flat against her head, Twilight squirmed. “With what Cadance said at the spa, I thought your reaction might be shoot first and ask questions later.”

Shining squinted – scrutinizing his sister – and the knives stopped twisting. They didn’t withdraw, but they stopped boring into me.

“I think I want that hot chocolate now.” He stood and walked toward the door.

“Shining, wait!” Twilight reached a hoof out towards her brother.

Shining stopped, but didn’t turn around. “Nothing you say right now is going to convince me that letting that thing in your castle is a good idea. You want me to listen? Well, let me hear what my wife has to say. The only reason I didn’t shoot was because Cadance must have known and convinced you to tell me yourselves.”

Without waiting for a reply, he strode from the room. Twilight and I looked at each other, not knowing what to say. She licked her lips – face scrunching – while I flicked my wings every few seconds – trying not to buzz them.

“T-that could have gone worse.” My voice fractured, and ve cursed inwardly at the stutter. The added irritation caused me to lose control of my wings, and they buzzed harshly – echoing through the room like a swarm of locusts.

“Hive damn it all!” I snorted, pounding a hoof into the table. I kept trying to force my wings still, but adrenaline still coursed through my body.

My fear was turning to anger for no other reason than the source of said fear was gone, and ve clamped filter after filter down to control it. Stupid, fickle, contextual, emotions were too malleable for their own good. There was a reason we had spent centuries playing ponies like fiddles, and—

No. That was the other Lords talking. Ve knew there was more to ponies. I had proof. I was friends with Twilight, and I refused to let their doubts poison me now. Ve had expected Shining to react worse than that, so I had no reason to let his reaction cloud our judgement.

All ve needed was—

“Morpheus…”

The cool moistness of a snout prodded my shoulder. I blinked, and ve realized what I must have looked like – breathing heavily and gazing into the distance after such a display of anger.

“I’m fine now.” I slowly shifted the tension out from my muscles, wishing to go to the spa again. “Ve just needed to set up some filters. Your brother’s internal reaction was… intense, and it caused me to momentarily lose control. Ve will be ready if it happens again.”

Twilight’s worry was tinged with a new steely resolve as she set a hoof on my withers. “Everything will work out. I’ll make sure of that.”

I snorted, still agitated beneath a mass of filters. It would be counter productive to apply more, though, so ve began searching the Archives for a few emotional purging recipes. Hopefully cleansing our heart of Shining’s distrust and fear would let us conquer our own emotions.

“I mean it!” She poked me with a hoof. “You have every right to be here, and Shining’s going to see that. If I have to pull the princess card, I will.”

“He’s a prince.” I droned. “Ve don’t think the princess card will work.”

“Then I’ll get Cadance to pull the wife card,” Twilight retorted.

Ve held back another snort as I walked towards the door. “Ve also don’t think that’ll work, but it’s worth a try.”

I let Twilight’s worry fill me – soothing the storm of negativity Shining had forced upon me. The maelstrom refused to quiet, but it let us lower a few filters as Twilight and I headed towards the kitchen.

As we turned the corner, we found it had been replaced with a swimming pool. Neon lights once more highlighted the walls suggesting any number of ways to cool off. We stared at the display for a second, and both sighed.

“Castle…” Twilight didn’t even elaborate. The lights flickered, and – with his point made – Castle replaced the signs with arrows to mark the path.

Twilight squinted at the arrow. “This better not be another wild goose chase, Castle.”

The lights flickered, leaving a message painted on the wall. “I would never do such a thing, Mistress. Wild goose chases have no meaning to them. —Friendship Castle”

Twilight stared some more, but, when no flicker of lights was forthcoming, she sighed and pulled me onward. Three turns later, the dining room came in sight. Muffled shouting could be heard from within’ and the smell of cocoa wafted down the hall. We stopped at the door, both of us hesitant to take that last step.

“And what if it’s all just a trap?! You said he’s Chrysalis’s son. Her son!” I heard the resonant thud of hoof meeting floor. “How are you okay with that? It just screams revenge scheme.”

“It does,” Cadance sighed, “but I got a chance to know him today, Shining. He’s nothing like his mother.”

There was a crack as Shining stomped again. “You can’t know that, though.”

“No….” Cadance hesitated. “I guess I can’t....”

There were a few moments of silence from Shining. “Then why are you going along with it?”

“I don’t know….” There was the shuffle of hooves. “Because it isn’t healthy to hold a grudge? Because it’s the right thing to do?”

“And why is that?” Shining sighed.

“Shining—" the love that pulsed from the room with that word melted all the negativity in me, and ve slowly lowered our filters "—changelings weren’t always evil monsters hiding in the shadows. They were secretive, yes, but they were still like any other pony.

“Celestia has told me stories – very emotional stories that I can’t share – about several changelings she once knew personally or by association. She showed me the most wonderful letters from—" there was an audible gulp "—well, I promised I wouldn’t say. Just trust me when I say that changelings can change for the better, and I think the start of that change will come with Morpheus. I can see the potential for love in him, dear. There isn’t just a void draining love from the air.”

The taste of cyanide wafted from the room. “Or maybe they’ve found a way to fool you, too.”

“Shining Adamantine Armor!”

Twilight flinched at Cadance’s volume, and seemed to realize we’d just been sitting there. Ve were fine with eavesdropping, but apparently she wanted to take action as things started to escalate.

Now was not the time, though. Ve could tell. Cadance was about to make a breakthrough whether Shining Armor wanted one or not. I held a hoof out to stop her, and mouthed at her to wait. With any luck she’d realize why before charging in.

Twilight looked between me and the door where a sniffling Cadance could be heard. Reluctantly she needed and back down, muscles tensed with the need to go and comfort her family.

“Oh, my— I just— All because you— And it probably only— Honey, I’m so sorry!” The extra sour wine poured fresh and strong through the door as Cadance bleated in distress. “I didn’t mean to yell, but you’ve just been making such great progress, and then you said that, and I panicked, because you’ve only made it this far trusting me, and if you can’t trust me as your wife I don’t know who you would trust, and I love you too much to— And— And—"

“Cadance!” Honey-dipped steel cut through the panic and sorrow. “Stop and do your breathing exercises!” The negativity slowly faded once more, and soon there was only the purest of honeys. I’m sorry,” Shining sighed, “I’m overreacting to this, aren’t I?"

Cadance sniffled again. “Just a little.”

“I can’t trust him, though.” Shining’s voice hardened.

“Then trust me.” Twilight opened the door before I could stop her, and I slunk in behind her. Shining was nursing a cup of cocoa, while Cadance had him locked in a wing hug. He glared at me until his wife distracted him with a nuzzle. There was a lot of cyanide in that glare, and ve quickly began reforming filters before he could overwhelm us.

“I know this is hard for you—" Twilight joined in on the hug "—and I’m not asking you to trust him yet.” She nodded to me. “But I’ve learned a lot about Morpheus while he’s been here, and I trust him. I’m asking you as your L.S.B.F.F. to trust me and Cadance on this.”

Shining gained control of himself once more. He stood up – stood tall – and marched about me, scrutinizing every piece of me in a way ve found reminiscent of a griffon eyeing their choice of prime cuts. The knives were back, but did not twist. They did not burn, nor did they freeze, and ve were thankful for that – although it may have been the filters.

The captain flayed me with his gaze, and his steely resolve bit into me again and again, as if simply staring at me would expose my nefarious plans. Ve idly wondered if it would have been better to redon my disguise, but I knew this was the one pony I needed to see me face to face.

After an eternity of circling me, he stopped right in front of me and peered deep into my eyes. “You know, I actually thought we could be friends earlier today? Now I don’t know what to think. I can’t even think straight near you, so I’m going to take my wife home, and I’m going to think about today long and hard. I will make sure to hear about your every move, and I will know if you put one hoof out of line.”

“And I’ll be here faster than you can blink if you hurt my sister.” The last was whispered so only I could here.

Pulling back, he took a long draught of his cocoa and looked to Cadance. “We should get going now.”

“What?!” Twilight’s ears folded back. “You just got here, though!”

“No, Twilight, I think he’s right.” Cadance sighed. “I wanted to believe this wasn’t that big an issue – that we could work everything out, and have some cocoa, and be done with it – but even I could use some time to come to terms with it. I think… I think going back to the Crystal Empire to think on things will be good for Shining and me.” She and Shining hugged Twilight, and I could taste the love – like fresh baked cookies.

“I promise it’ll only be a month tops.” Cadance winked at me over Twilight’s shoulder. “Just have fun dating your new friend in the meantime.”

Shining froze at the statement, muscles trembling, and I wisely made myself scarce before any form of argument reopened. It was a horrible choice, after all, to either draw the ire of an overprotective big brother or spurn the help – desired or not – of the Princess of Love.

To this day, ve still wonder how I could have handled things better. Sometimes the only answer to healing wounds is time, though, and Shining Armor needed time.

Time, however, was not on my side. Ve were worried Shining’s views would be reflected in the populace as a whole, and there wouldn’t be enough time for all of Equestria to change its mind. It is a good thing my friends were there for me, else ve might have thought things truly lost.

Proper Recognition (Morpheus) Part 2

Proper Recognition (Morpheus) Part 1

Changing Times’ Notes: The prince was and is always reluctant to talk about his mother. I’m not sure he knows how to – with their relationship as it is. This is one of the few reports where I got a rare glance into his true thoughts on Chrysalis – confused as they seem to be.

It was not the main purpose of this report when I interviewed him, yet I cannot help but think it overshadows the rest of the events contained herein. I think it might be because he had no reason to start this report where he did. He could have held the first part of this report back from me, and he could have begun at the party like I expected, yet he chose to speak to me on matters of a very personal nature.

I am honored to know he trusts me so – that I am his friend, and that he believes what I’m doing will change things for the better.

Proper Recognition: A Report by Morpheus of House Sycadia

I would think it obvious by now how lost and out of my depth, I was during negotiations. I had not expected to make real friends with any of the Elements as fast as I was, but – while not all our problems were settled – I had made what could be deemed miraculous progress.

Info-oriented creatures that changelings are, we do not put much stock in miracles and blind faith.

Thus, my developing friendships were perhaps less of a boon than one would think. The analysts agonized over each day’s events looking for flaws that ve could not find. My subjects were growing wary of my overwhelming success – especially after my ban on love poison. The fact I had found an entire Hive of lost brothers and sisters – that I had secured from them a steady supply of love to supplement our losses – was unbelievable.

Hope dared to flutter in everyling’s hearts, and that invoked feelings of suspicion. After all, hope was the erroneous belief that an event or outcome was more likely than it should be. The Lords were calling me on a bluff that ve could not satisfactorily prove, and this made dealing with the actual problems I faced more difficult.

Having the Elements as friends – well, two friends, two acquaintances, and two somewhere in between – helped to assuage my worried mind and to ease our doubts and fears. For about a week after Shining and Cadance’s visit, I continued to spend the day with one or two of them and getting to know them better.

The doors to Castle creaked open, letting the sun creep into crawl upon my carapace. Twilight hoisted the basket beside her in her telekinesis and strolled outside – taking a deep breath of fresh air. Her wings fluttered slightly, and she giggled slightly as the breeze flitted through her feathers.

I lifted my own basket onto my back and followed. The wind danced between my fetlock cavities, and nopony else was around to see the distortion to my disguise, so I allowed myself the luxury of buzzing my wings some to add to the sensation. The bits in my corbiculae thrummed with sugary happiness, and I chided them with a click and whistle too high for pony ears.

Twilight didn’t know they were with us, after all – scuttling around my insides. I didn’t want her to hear them because that would ruin the surprise. I was taking her to mother’s bit garden today.

“Enjoying yourself?” Twilight smiled.

“The breeze feels good today.” I blushed as ve thought of how nymphish I must have seemed, and the bits chittered quietly to themselves. A few fluttered between my ribs, and I tried to hold back a snicker as their wings tickled my insides.

“It does, doesn’t it? Rainbow said she wanted things to be perfect for our ‘date.’” Twilight’s smile became a laugh, and I took advantage of a reason to get the giggles out.

The dreaded date was nigh, but it didn’t seem so bad. “Of course she did… Probably spying on us for Rarity.”

Twilight nodded. “It wouldn’t surprise me if she was doing it for all the girls.” She turned to begin the walk to town, basket floating behind her.

My grin was a bit too bright as I followed. It was only polite, after all, to leave clues that ve were planning something.

Twilight wanted a ‘date,’ and ve would provide. She deserved something special, and the bit garden would make a much better picnic spot than the park. With Rainbow likely watching, however, it would be prudent to inform her of my plans – lest a misunderstanding occur.

I strained my ears and cast out my wind sense, yet could not hear anypony besides myself and Twilight. Tongue flicking out, I tasted the air for the salty tang of pegasus. The sweet perfume of lilacs and lilies from Twilight nearly drowned it, but I could taste Rainbow’s particular scent when the breeze came from the north.

It was an oddly fresh smell for such an athletic pegasus – like rain and an ocean breeze – and it let us isolate the group of clouds she was no doubt hiding in. There were too many to pick her exact hiding spot, but that wasn’t a problem. I could simply send a whisper of wind passing through the bunch.

Doing so, I returned to watching Twilight as we continued onward, and ve considered Cadance’s advice. It was frustrating in a sense. Ve had millennia worth of memories in the Archives on ponies in love, yet none seemed to hold that most important detail – the threshold between love and friendship. Every friendship was different, and every love was doubly so, and to try and isolate the catalyst that shifted a pair of individuals from one state to the other was madness.

Sometimes the process was mutual. Sometimes it was one sided. Sometimes neither party had the faintest clue they were head over hooves for each other. There were too many variables, and, while ve understood that I liked Twilight, ve were entirely unsure on how ve could evaluate if it was possible for me to feel something more for her. Ve could argue surprising her on our current ‘date’ counted as a romantic gesture, but friends went out of their way for each other all the time, and it was the ever elusive threshold that determined which it was.

And this wasn’t even considering the time factor. It takes time for actual feelings to develop, and ve doubted two weeks, five days, three hours, and forty-five minutes – give or take an hour or so – was enough to truly fall in love with somepony. Ve could admit I might have a crush, but even that was questionable, and Twilight certainly didn’t have a crush on me. Her emotions had yet to taste of buds and blossoms.

“What’s on your mind, Wicked?”

I blinked at the sound of Twilight’s voice – becoming acutely aware of all the other sounds I’d been missing in our musings. We had reached the town proper some time ago, and ponies were hustling about the streets lined with little thatch-roofed houses.

Berating ourself for the lack of judgement I expanded my senses once more. I needed context and needed it fast. Others stared at us when they thought we weren’t looking, and, when they saw we were, they did the worst possible thing by conspicuously studying something else. I could see the tension in their neck from them struggling not to look back, and I couldn’t help but sigh at the transparency.

What I didn’t see, I heard and tasted. There was a lot of gossip and rumor, although it was thankfully mostly pleasant. There was a clear measure of happiness for Twilight.

“Good for her."

“She looks happy.”

“Yeah, it’s about time she got over Flash.”

Rarity had been talking it seemed. Many were the praises sung about Twilight ‘dating’ me, and I could taste the deluge of emotional sugar, candy and cake headed her way. The comments headed my way were, unfortunately, somewhat less amicable.

“He’s a gangly thing, ain’t he?”

“Don’t be that way. He might have a brain under there.”

“Ain’t got room for much else. He certainly doesn’t have it where it counts with a build like that.”

When I focused on what others were feeling towards me, steely pins and needles crawled over my chitin. There was still some sugary happiness and goodwill, but it seemed a good portion of Ponyville was protective of their princess.

The bits writhed at the sensation, and I tried not to fidget. It was nowhere near as strong as Shining’s feelings on the matter, but it was still uncomfortable. Part of us entertained the idea of crafting an Adonis to disguise ourselves, yet I quickly tossed that idea away.

I liked my Wicked Smooth guise, and there were plenty of times I was more comfortable in it than in my own chitin.

“Wicked? Is something wrong? You’re being really quiet.”

My ear flicked at the sound, and ve realized I had yet to answer Twilight. “I’m fine – better than fine, really. I’ve just got a lot on my mind recently.” It was true, and yet here ve were adding the mundanities of life to the pile. My love life was hardly a pressing manner compared to the survival of the Hive. Ve had bigger things to worry about.

“Don’t we all?” Twilight tittered. “Today we’re just having a picnic. Nothing big.”

I stared at her – amidst all of the gossip and stares. There was no such thing as ‘just a picnic’ when on a ‘date’ with royalty. “Have you thought about what ‘going out’ with me really means? What others will think?”

“What do you mean?” She tilted her head back to look at me, continuing on with the self-assurance of one who had mastered the art of walking while reading.

Glancing at our audience, I snorted. “You’re a celebrity, a hero, and a princess. Ponies are going to talk, judge, and gossip about this. It’s going to shape opinions on you.”

There were several muffled thumps from hooves quietly meeting faces at my words. That wasn’t good.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “Well, yeah, but I don’t get the big deal. It can’t be that different than all the usual nonsense. The papers still call Fluttershy the future bride of Discord every now and then. You don’t see her making a fuss about it, do you? The rest of Equestria will have their field day and I’ll make do until it’s over. It can’t be as bad as Rarity’s matchmaking.”

I arched an eyebrow, but ve said nothing to refute her opinion. Her horribly skewed opinion. The Ponyville gossip was mild, true, but ve shivered at our projections for how the Canterlot nobility would react. Even if they weren’t changeling Lords, it was never a good idea to displease aristocracy of any kind.

At the least, it would provide a valuable princess lesson for her.

It was pointless to ruminate on further, however. Ve were procrastinating – worrying about a future yet to pass. Cadance had told me to enjoy ‘dating’ Twilight in the moment, and that’s what ve planned on doing.

Thus I put my plans in motion.

Step one: confusion.

I passed Twilight with a spring in my step – pronking backward in a manner most befitting of the Pink Menace. The bits fluttered this way and that as I did so – the motion upsetting them – and I giggled madly as their wings danced over my ribs.

It was utterly unbecoming, and something I’d normally never do in a hundred years. Twilight, of course, knew this and was flummoxed as to why I was bouncing like a bumbling idiot. Her head tilted just so, while her face scrunched. She opened her mouth – most likely to question my sanity – and ve took advantage of her lowered guard.

Step two: snatch.

There were many ways to redirect the picnic from the park. I could have asked, of course, but then Twilight would know I had something planned. Ve felt it far better to commit to acting silly and spontaneous. Romantic foals were, after all, prone to bouts of whimsy.

“Change of plans. I feel like tag.” Part of us cringed inside at how stupid that sounded, but I was committed to the act. I snatched her basket in my mouth and took off running. “Mine!” I shouted around the handle as I fled. I stumbled a bit as the bits continued to tickle, but I ran as fast as I could – looking back for any signs of pursuit.

Step three: lead the chase.

Twilight stood there and stared. She did not chase as expected and instead arched her eyebrow so high I could see it from down the street. “This isn’t one of Rarity’s books!” She shouted the length of the lane in front of what could well be a good portion of the town.

I stopped and set the basket down. “It will be if you make a scene!” I shouted back. Tensing, I readied myself to grab the basket at any sign of pursuit.

She rolled her eyes and massaged the bridge of her muzzle for a moment. Then, with a flash of magenta light, she teleported beside me. Before I could react with more than a hiss, she thwapped me in the back of the head with a hoof. “Tag. Now tell me what you’re really up to or so help me…”

I rubbed the spot of impact and frowned. There had been too much whimsy in my act it seemed, and Twilight wasn’t wasn’t going to take it. A fine fiery dusting of rainbows filled the air – not quite angry, but close.

“I—" Biting my lip, ve attempted to come up with a suitable half-truth. “I wanted to surprise you. A picnic in the park is one thing, but I found the most amazing place in Whitetail Woods.” I waved a hoof at her. “I figured a game of tag was a good way to lead you there without ruining the surprise, but I guess you aren’t one for silly games.”

She arched an eyebrow. “There’s silly and then there’s nonsensical.”

I snorted. “It had a decent chance of working until you assumed I was pulling a Rarity. I mean, really, does Rarity seem like the type to suggest this sort of thing?”

Twilight sniffed. “She might want a fairy tale romance for herself, but she’s a fan of all trashy romance.”

I stared at her for a few seconds. “Wow, ve— I really didn’t expect you to be this hung up on things.” Walking up to her, I gently set a hoof on her withers. “I thought you didn’t want to worry about Rarity anymore.”

Twilight’s entire body tensed. “I don’t…. It’s just... this is harder than I thought it would be.”

“You say that now. Just wait for us to start actually dating,” I whispered, grinning like an idiot.

“Wicked…” Twilight groaned, putting her face in her hooves. “Fine.” She mumbled. “I’ll have a talk with Rarity later. For now, let’s just get back to things.”

I picked up her basket in my mouth again and waited for her to take the lead. We stood for a few seconds – bits churning inside of me – before she made shooshing motions at with her hoof.

“Go on then. You’re the one who wants to surprise me.”

Oh. Right.

Just taking her to mother’s— No. It was mine now. Taking her to my bit garden would ruin the effect. I needed another element of surprise. Something less whimsical. Ve had to ponder a moment until it came to us. The solution was quite simple.

“May I?” Pulling a napkin from one of the baskets, I gave the slightest bow to Twilight.

Twilight pulled back a bit at the formality. “May you what—"

With a bit of quick hoofwork, I wrapped the napkin around her face as a makeshift blindfold. Twilight squeaked, but made no more immediate forms of protest.

“Ready?” I asked, taking her hoof in mine.

“I guess….” Twilight hesitated, her emotions a mix of ice and orange juice with a hint of extra sweetener.

I checked the basket on my back was secure, and I picked up Twilight’s basket in my mouth. Leading her down the street, I was once more acutely aware of the stares and gossip of other ponies, but we made it to the outskirts of town soon enough.

As we entered the Whitetail Woods, I looked back to check for Rainbow. A cloud was drifting out of Ponyville – the tiniest flash of a rainbow colored mane visible through the condensation – and I saluted to it before taking Twilight into the woods.

The path to the bit garden was calm – almost silent. Every so often a bird would tweet or a frog would croak, but, for the most part, only the quiet chirping of cricket song bounced among the trees as I led Twilight deeper into the woods.

The smell of rain and dewdrops clung to the air from a recent shower, and the earth was damp but not quite mud. There was just enough moisture for it to suck slightly at the frogs of our hooves, and it left a cool tingling sensation in it’s wake. Twilight stifled a giggle every-so-often when the ground’s tingling evolved to outright tickling, but she see seemed content to follow in silence.

Not once did I taste a hint of bitterness to her emotions.

The farther in we got, however, the more cluttered the woods became. I had to be careful going forward – making sure Twilight didn’t trip from stepping on a stray root. The forest had faced a decent amount of rain here, and the mud sucked at our hooves as we neared the garden. With each splorch and splotch I could taste a hint of icy nervousness creeping into Twilight’s emotions.

Just as we reached the cave entrance, she spoke. “Morpheus. I may not be able to see, but I can tell we’re really deep in the woods. Are you sure we should be—"

“Shhh…” I interrupted, shedding my disguise to levitate the picnic baskets so that they wouldn’t get muddy. “We’re just about there, and it should be dry.”

Pulling Twilight into the cave, I brought her through the caverns to the hollow holding the glade. It took a lot of mental soothing to quiet the bits sleeping quietly throughout the clearing. With all the small puffs of sweet nectar being sent my way, they clearly missed me, but I needed them to stay still until the big reveal.

My insides squirmed as the bits I brought from Castle fought to get free of my corbiculae. They could sense their fellows in the glade, and they were excited to meet them.

Letting go of Twilight’s hoof, I set the baskets down on a dry patch of grass, and I walked carefully to the edge of the pool in the center. I almost tripped once or twice as my bits swarmed within me, and my stomach writhed with maggots as I worried over whether things would go well.

Twilight was fidgeting with nervousness, but she didn’t voice it, and – once I reached the center – I yanked the blindfold off with a flick of telekinesis.

“Behold!”

In the still air of the cave, leaves and twigs stirred as if caught in a non-existent breeze. Swirling up and off the ground with a veritable army of butterflies, the cave was filled with cricket song. Cicadas buzzed, and bees bumbled, and an orchestra of wings filled the air, while Twilight watched in rapt attention.

Opening my corbiculae, the bits I brought swarmed from my insides. Flashes of green flame filled the room as old bits met new bits, and they shifted from one form to another while sharing the stories of their lives.

Twilight laughed in the emerald inferno. She pranced from tree to tree – watching flames that did not burn wash over them – and tried to catch the bits dancing between the trees.

“Where did you get all of these?” There was a manic joy to her voice. Her emotions were a volatile mix of orange and cotton candy, and I found myself smiling as she bounced around. At some point, she’d summoned a notebook and quill, and I caught glances of half-finished sketches and notes as she moved too fast for the quill to follow.

“Don’t take this the wrong way—" the reveal was everything "—but they were a gift from mother.”

“What?” Twilight froze mid-hop and looked at me. I cast my head down as her gaze bored its way through my chitin.

“S-she couldn’t look after them all in exile.” I squirmed as it felt like maggots writhed through my stomach. “And she wanted someling to watch them for her. I couldn’t just say no when I saw the place.”

“You ran into Chrysalis?” Twilight shivered as gravity reasserted itself.

“Not exactly….” Mentioning Discord by name would be bad. “I just wasn’t her first choice. She told her previous caretaker to show me this place.”

“Do we need to worry about this caretaker?” Twilight walked towards me hesitantly – her emotions trickling concern towards me.

“No.” I hesitated before moving to join her. As the bits settled around us, I picked up the picnic baskets and began to lay out the spread we had prepared. “We don’t need to worry about him. I think… I think mother just wanted to reach out to me. Some of my best memories were in mother’s bit garden as a nymph.”

I scuffed a mud-encrusted hoof on the blanket before sitting. “She does care – at least I like to think she does – in her own twisted way. She wants me to succeed, but she sees me as weak.”

I sighed. “She sees friends as nothing but tools to use, and – no matter how I tried to explain it to her – I couldn’t get her to believe me that Equestria could be more than just food to us.”

I clenched and unclenched my stabilization plates. “And the worst part is she was right… I was weak. I couldn’t work up the nerve to throw a coup when I knew she was wrong, so she was forced to abdicate – to exile herself – so some other Lord wouldn’t steal the crown.”

My fangs tore into a sub roll piled with various vegetables. Baby tomatoes, bell peppers, zucchini, and a squash of some sort were cut down to size and smothered in cream cheese between a loaf of seasoned Istallion bread. I wasn’t looking at Twilight, but I could taste her concern like a lemon-flavored wine.

“I—" She stopped, but then I tasted a bit of steel slice through the air. “I guess I can see that… That she cares, I mean.”

I looked over to see her face scrunched in thought.

“She saved me—" Twilight gave a strangled whinny "—in the Everfree forest. She saved me, and she had no reason to do so. It’s bugged me – wondering why she would even bother – and the only real reason I’ve come up with is you. She wants you to succeed.”

A contented silence settled between us as we ate among the soft lullabies of every bug under the sun. At some point, my wings joined in. I chirped whatever tune crossed my mind. The chorus of bits followed. Twilight pulled out a book, and we simply sat and enjoyed each other’s company in the glade until the light from above began to darken.

With a fine vintage of regret in the air, we packed the leftovers away and left the cave. The orange light of dusk struggled to break through the trees, but Twilight lit the area around us as I donned my disguise once more. As the emerald flames faded from my chitin, Twilight had wrapped her hooves around me for the briefest of hugs.

“Feeling better?”

“Yeah...” I thrummed appreciatively. “Sorry for ruining the surprise.”

“It wasn’t ruined.” Twilight shook her head. “I had fun, really. You can’t help that your mom makes for such awkward conversation.”

I snorted. “Ve could have been more tactful about it. Ve thought ve had it all figured out, yet ve were not a sentence into our planned explanation and I let my emotions get the best of me.”

“Emotions aren’t a weakness, Morpheus.” Twilight set a hoof on my withers. “You. Are. Not. Weak.”

I shook my head, smiling. “Ve’re learning that. I’ve simply yet to find a balance between the logical and illogical.”

Proper Recognition (Morpheus) Part 3

Proper Recognition (Morpheus) Part 2

I made many foalish mistakes throughout negotiations. Few, though, compare to my actions following my picnic with Twilight.

As we hit the outskirts of town, Rainbow swooped down upon us from above. She grazed me and Twilight – barely missing a full on collision – making smooching noises and cackling as she flew away. Twilight’s emotions churned in transitory confusion before settling into a gummy, rubbery gunk that was too thick to properly sample.

“Rainbow was actually spying on us, wasn’t she?” Twilight began the walk into town – a vivid blush creeped up the back of her neck as I followed.

I arched an eyebrow, thrumming in thought. “I thought you knew? And ve quote, ‘It wouldn’t surprise me if she was doing it for all the girls.’” The quote was in perfect imitation of Twilight’s voice, recalled in exacting detail from earlier that day. Twilight and I both winced as we heard it, and I quickly shifted my vocal chords back, glancing around furtively.

Nopony else seemed to have noticed or if they did, they did not care. Probably the former. An eerily perfect Twilight impersonation was hardly subtle.

Such slip-ups were bound to raise suspicion.

Shaking myself from our musing, I found Twilight had trailed ahead without me, and I rushed to catch up. She was fidgeting every so often – almost imperceptibly, but it was there. Her ear gave a few extra flicks. Her hock hitched a bit. And her tail flicked restlessly.

Her emotions had transitioned at some point while ve were lost in thought. She tasted of a cool glass of lemonade – lightly sweetened and chilled with ice. It was a classic subcategory of anticipation – particularly anticipation of something good. She was nervous of the outcome, yet enjoying the wait.

It was a taste I’d come to dread back home, as it usually meant someling's scheme was about to come to fruition. If a lord— well, not all Lords, but most – were actually nervous about a gamble, chances were the payoff was huge.

Twilight was not a lord, though. Twilight was a friend. She was probably just itching to read her book again, or perhaps she wanted to study me or Castle some more. Ve had no right to assume the worst – that she was scheming against us.

With that in mind, I strangled our urge to counter-scheme.

“Oh!” Her head suddenly reared back, ears perking. “I almost forgot to pick up a cake for Spike’s ‘Welcome back to Ponyville’ party. Mind if we stop at Sugarcube Corner before we head back? Pinkie should be closing up shop about now.”

Odd. This was the first ve had heard of Spike returning. Warning flags raised that something was ahoof, but once more I let forced them down. There was no real benefit from me knowing about Spike’s return – other than the fact he left thinking I was out to get Twilight, and ve could have really used the time to plan out how to make a good second impression – so Twilight really had no reason to tell me.

“Wicked?”

It’s not even like ve would want to help plan the party. I could have spun the banners or delivered invitations as Pinkie Pie. I could have baked some trea— Wait. No. I couldn’t bake to save my life, no matter how hard ve tried. I could have made snow cones, though.

But, no. Twilight was smart enough to realize ve wouldn’t want that when there were more important things for us to do – like figure out what she was scheming. Not that she was scheming. I was sure of that – although ve weren’t – but it would have been nice to be included.

“Wicked?” I felt somepony prod my shoulders. “Mo?” The second— Or was it third? Maybe fourth. Regardless, the nth attempt to grab our attention caused me to stagger, as the voice behind it hissed right into my ear. Turning the stumble into a roll, I deftly came to my hooves and turned to find Twilight – not a venomous acid-spitting assassin – waiting for me.

“What was that for?! You spit in my ear!” I tried incredibly hard not to buzz my wings as my heart pounded.

“Sorry!” She squeaked. “You weren’t responding. Really, though, Sugarcube Corner will be closing soon, and I can’t afford to wait.” She glanced towards the clocktower. “Oh, horseapples! It’s later than I thought! I’ll meet you there!” With a flash of light she was gone, and I was left to catch the tail-end of various snickers and glances headed our way.

Gossip had won a great battle this day, it seemed.

Irritated. Flustered. My wings twitched with the need to buzz, and there were no words ve felt comfortable using in Equish.

“Mrmmf!” I let forth a stream of profane chirps and whistles mostly above pony hearing.

Beyond all expectations, equally high-pitched chittering responded just at the edge of my senses. There were whistles and whirs and deep thrumming buzzes far beyond range of the equine ear – faint mutterings of Chitri only I could hear. It was too quiet to make more than a word or two out, but I heard several warnings to be quiet.

And they were coming from the direction of Sugarcube Corner.

Quickly extending our senses, ve locked onto the signatures of the tracer strands I’d planted on each Element. All of the girls were in the same general direction as the changelings.

Given A: changelings were here, and they didn’t want to be found.

Given B: the girls were gathered to make an easy target.

Unknown: the relation between A and B.

Conclusion: assess risk as quickly as possible.

Warning: be ready for conflict, and be prepared for damage control if collateral damage is unavoidable. Rushing planning phase is inoptimal but advised.

I stood and stared – our synapses firing so fast that ve wove a web of plausible actions faster than the analysts could realize what was happening. Ve felt a number of urgent messages incoming, but I had no time to slow down and respond. I took off running and risked the momentary glow of my horn to send Twilight a five word message.

“Changelings incoming. Be ready. Morpheus.”

Charging back the way we came, I turned left at the intersection we had previously passed to see Sugarcube Corner a slight ways down the road. The windows were dark, and the shades were drawn. It just screamed shady business.

Oh. This was bad. This was very bad. Ve desperately wanted to open a portal for ourselves, but ponies would see, and my cover would be blown, and the contract wouldn’t allow that except in life-threatening situations – which ve technically had no proof of.

Stupid, hive-forsaken contract.

All I knew was changelings were here that didn’t want to be found, and every second it took to find out why counted. All it would take was confirmation of danger, and I’d be able to handle most potential problems.

Problems like House Scorpio’s venomous acid-spitting assassins – who fanatically hunted for sport with custom bladed stinger-legs that could skewer chitin like it was flesh and blood – or House Antipathy’s ‘tea parties’ – where every cup was deadly unless you drank every single drop. The list of things that could be wrong went on and on, and ve were starting to wonder why ve thought charging in was such a good idea, but I knew I had to do something if Twilight or the others were in trouble.

I could hear heated whispering from inside as I ran up to the door. Sending out a quick burst of tremorsense, ve got the general layout of the building. Furniture had been stacked providing cover for an unknown number of entities. One of the entities was holding a knife, and ve could confirm the presence of all six Elements of Harmony – surrounded – via the tracer silk.

Oh. This was bad. Twilight must have teleported directly in and been overwhelmed.

Kicking the door open and running in, ve had just enough awareness of the ponies curiously watching me outside to slam the door shut before I dropped my disguise. My horn blazed to life – ready to smite any potential foes in righteous fury.

The Elements – the full set, including Twilight – all took a step back, and the sour taste of fear squirted into the room as fast as a frightened foal evacuating their bowels. Most of the changelings surrounding them dropped like flies – hitting the ground with pained whimpers.

One little one skittered up to me, chittering like mad. “Uncle Mo Mo!”

As the nymph hugged me, ve began to realize ve’d made a horrible mistake. Ve should have learned not to make assumptions after Lyra.

“I told you he’d get all paranoid~” Lyra joined in on the chittering – her emotions as cool and refreshing as ever.

“I most humbly apologize, My Lord.” One of the changelings quivered a little more than the others. “Ve tried to tell the Pink Menace that a surprise party was inadvisable, but she insisted that ‘If anypony would enjoy surprise parties, it would be a changeling.’” His imitation lacked the bubbly mirth of Pinkie’s normal voice – sounding almost flat in comparison. “We most humbly beg your— Errant, we do not teeth on the prince’s chitin!”

The nymph looked up at me with a pout – a pout that steadily shifted from sad colt to heart attack inducing filly. My leg was covered in viscous green goo and little fang marks. Ve struggled to maintain my stern demeanor, yet it would not stand before the sheer adoration pouring off him— her— them. Giving my hoof back to Errant, I felt the eyes of everyling – and pony – on me as I once more became a chew toy.

“Webber.” I nodded – our thoughts racing to try and sort out what was happening – to the changeling who had spoken. His massive cranium hid a good portion of his body from me as he cowered. “Would you care to explain the presence of the—" I counted again "—seven of you that are here?”

“I— Ve— We—”

“It was my fault, My Lord.” The scratchy hiss of Spi pierced through Webber’s fractured echo. The Infiltrator stood shakily and saluted – his thin, tapered, blade-like legs leaving several scratches in the floor. “I was discovered by the—”

“Me! It was all me!” The Enigma suddenly loomed before me – giggling, fear forgotten, with a knife. “When map called me away to Canterlot just before we headed off to the Everfree, I was so sad.” Her hair deflated to leave her with the most disturbing grin. “But then I realized going to Canterlot would let me make more friends, so I was happy!” Her hair exploded with frizzy curls once more. “So I went to Canterlot and started sniffing around, and eventually I stumbled upon the weekly ERS barbecue – headed by Median Rare – and I was all ‘Called it!’ but I didn’t, because Median Rare wasn’t actually a changeling. Mean Norm was, though! So I guess I was half—”

Reason’s Bane suddenly inhaled a mighty breathe without warning – her blue face regaining its normal pink hue. “—right? Anyways, after I was released from jail for assaulting Median Rare. I had to hunt Mean Norm down through what must have been half of Canterlot. I finally managed to give him a hug so he’d stop being all mean, but I guess it was all just an act, because he’s a changeling, so I wasn’t sent there to make Mean Norm into a nice average joe.”

All the changelings – sans myself and Errant – stared in rapt horror, mouths agape, at the Pink Menace’s rant. I kept my reaction internal, while Errant radiated a mix of slightly sour milk and lots of orange juice. Spi flicked his wings once and opened his mouth, but he could not curb the torrent of madness spewing from Logic’s End.

“So we got to talking, and then we played hide and seek some more—” The Pink Menace pointed the knife at Spi “—which he’s really super good at. I finally get him talking, and it turns out he knows you! So I took him as a prisoner of war so he could help me redo your ‘Welcome to Ponyville Party!’”

The knife turned towards me – jabbing the air as she gestured at me, and I noticed the Warrior of the group tensing. Hive damn it all, it was Hera – her hulking chitinous mass preparing to lunge at a perceived threat. The cobalt plates encasing her like armor gleamed slightly – shifting to cover more of her body. Her muscles began to bulge as her combat glands fed her a cocktail of chemicals meant to optimize her capacity to kill, but a steely blaze of commanding fury from me quickly scolded her – suffocating the fire of her anger even as it evaporated the wine of her concern.

Even still, she never took me interfering with her job lightly. Mastering her lingering fear from my entrance, she stood and looked at me with that look – the one that pierces my heart with the razor-tipped spear of her devotion. She would not question, but that look spoke of a long and painful cycle of death and resurrection should she be proven right.

Pinkie – oblivious to the fact that she was almost assaulted – merrily bubbled along. “The Society of Merriment Inducing and Laughter Extraction has very tight rules on what counts as a welcome party, after all.” Everypony blinked as a large pink book full of crayon drawings was shoved in my face. “You sir, did not get a party. See?”

I hesitated as my subjects looked to me. “Not really?” Not at all, actually. I didn’t see how a drawing of a walrus having a cider drinking contest with a hedgehog had anything to do with me.

“Pinkie…” Twilight was rubbing her temples. “Just let me explain.” She looked from me to my subjects and back again before sighing. “This was all my idea. Shortly after our trip into the Everfree, Celestia contacted me and said she wanted some of the Harvesters she was letting into the country to stay in Ponyville.”

I looked to the Harvesters, who had been silent up to this point.

“We are Echo…” The first fluttered her tiny wings.

“Echoe…” The second nodded her head – with its stub of a horn.

“And Ekho, My Lord.” The third hesitantly held out a hoof – the few fetlock cavities she had clenching open and closed.

“Nice to meet you.” They chorused in whistling synchrony as I shook the offered hoof with my own.

Errant continued to gnaw on my other leg, while Webber kept trying to sneak closer to pry his nymph off of me. I grinned impishly before nuzzling the cute little bugger – consequences be damned – and felt a lessening of the tension in the room even as Webber gave a strangled chirp.

There was the electric tingle of pride emanating from Twilight as she and the rest of the Elements smiled at the sight, and I felt a small rush at the knowledge that being myself – not just what ve demanded – was helping restore order – rectifying our mistake. Sometimes it felt like I could only face my subjects with our cold calculating facade, but moments like this gave me – dare I say the cursed word – hope.

I looked to the nervous analyst, and sent soothing waves of calm and contentment upon him. “So that explains why Spi is here, and what the Harvesters are doing, but I’ve yet to get an explanation for you and Hera.” I looked at everypony and everyling. “Nor why you all were sequestered here in an obvious trap.”

“Paranoid~” Lyra chimed only to be shushed by Bon Bon.

Webber looked at the floor once more. “The day you visited Fluttershy ve realized what ve were doing to you. Playing the game as we were – with all of us acting in the roles ve each thought best, rather than following what we each knew to be best – we were going to lose.”

Cringing, he forced himself to look up. “There is more to the equation than treating the Equestrians as friends and allies. We must figure out how to break from most – if not all – of the old ways.” He shook his head. “Maintaining a lord-servant relationship with you is doing nothing but harm to the mission as it encourages qualities and traits that are part of the larger problem. You are the common changeling’s lord – The Lord Who is Not a Lord.”

He took a shuddering breath. “And we’ve been horrible friends for not helping you personally with the peace negotiations. Hera and I left the Hive so we could support you in the chitin. We would have picked up Spi on our way, but he had already been discovered.”

“So this is?” I arched an eyebrow at Twilight.

“A party?” She giggled.

My eyebrow arched further. “If you say so.”

Proper Recognition (Morpheus) Part 4

Proper Recognition (Morpheus) Part 3

Ve are not sure there are enough words to accurately describe a Pinkie Party. There are a million and one things to enjoy about them, and only a pony as verbose as the Pink Menace herself has the lung capacity to give them justice.

Granted, I’m currently shifting myself said lung capacity, but the words may elude us just the same. It’s an illogically logical web of chaotic social interactions, custom tailored by a paradoxically pink party pony. Ve can see the patterns to the madness – make no mistake – but articulating that madness is another matter.

Perhaps I’ll should merely stick to the aspects that can be expressed in the Equish language.

Many of the decorations for the party had been knocked askew by my entrance, but Pinkie and the others refused my help in redecorating. Ve had pointed out the hypocritical nature of having my subjects still help in what was essentially a Welcome Party for all of us, but that had gotten me a patronizing look that promised many more parties in the near future.

“Uncle Mo Mo?” Errant rested in my forelegs – gnawing on them – as we watched the party being set up around us. “Why was daddy so afraid of you earlier?”

I felt a lump in my throat. “Well… I ordered him to stay at the Hive, and he disobeyed me to bring you and Hera out here.”

“Mrgmmf…” The nymph mumbled in thought as its fangs scraped my chitin. Occasionally they would find purchase on the sensitive insides of my fetlock cavities, but I didn’t mind. Their eyes glazed as they looked into Hivemind for something – the wisdom to my words, perhaps – before they looked up at me. “Well that’s just stupid. You’re happy to see us. I can taste it! Why would he be scared about that?”

I smiled slightly, moving my head in to give a quick appreciative nuzzle with my muzzle. “That’s a good question. I bet if everyling was as smart as you, we wouldn’t need the Hivemind.”

“Really?” Errant’s voice was the shrill whistle of a tea kettle. Their blocky, coltish, muzzle softened into the narrow snoot of a filly.

“Sadly, no.” I booped them on the muzzle – causing my leg to be ravaged by fangs once more. “But you raise a good point.” I let the warm fuzzy tingle of my pride trickle over them. “Ve have certain ideas on how a Lord should act, and it’s the same for your father. The Hivemind provides a certain example for how he should behave – uncountable years worth of memories telling him what makes the ideal analyst.”

I thrummed, aware of the twitching ears of my other subjects as they helped set up the party. “Someday you’ll understand, though. You’ll find your calling, and go through your Chrysaling, and you’ll discover all the pressures placed on your dad and me.”

Errant’s wings buzzed impatiently, and I began to pull my hoof away. They leapt after it, but I dodged and booped their muzzle again. Thus a new game began between the hunter and their prey. My hoof was swift to dodge, and even swifter to boop in retaliation, but the errant hunter Errant relentlessly pursued its foe.

“It. Still. Sounds. Dumb.” My nephew said between lunging strikes.

“I know....” I sighed, slowing down and letting Errant latch onto my leg once more. He nibbled at me a bit before pausing to look up.

Smiling, I ruffled their fin with my goop covered hoof. “There are a lot of times I think it’s dumb too, but ve can attest that the old ways exist for good reason.” Looking out at Hera, Webber, and Spi, I felt a hollowness in my heart. “Just… Be sure to keep in mind how stupid it sounds now later on. As much as ve hate to admit it, the Hivemind isn’t always right.”

Errant chittered at first as he was mercilessly noogied, but soon enough he wriggled free and ran off to pester his father. I sat and watched them talk, slowly filtering the saliva left on my foreleg into a nearby trash bin.

“Alright! Let’s get this party started!” An unbidden shudder wracked my body at the sugary joy behind Pinkie’s words. “Who wants to start with Pin the Tail on the Pony?! I even made the pieces myself this time!” Grabbed from my spot in the corner, a flurry of pink hooves herded me toward a poster of a familiar lavender unicorn.

“Pinkie!” Twilight massaged her temples. “My butt is not that big!”

“Well, duh.” Pinkie giggle-snorted. “I had to make sure we had a big enough target, though.”

“Why am I even the target?” Twilight groaned, looking to the ceiling as if the woodgrain held all the answers.

“So the prince could stick it to ya, of course!” Pinkie waggled her brow. “Come on! Let him get some tail!”

Twilight blushed, and I raised my brow. “Really, Pinkie?” She squeaked. I deadpanned. The other Elements and the Harvesters tittered and chittered while Hera, Webber, and Spi cocked their heads to the side.

“What’s so funny, daddy?” Errant looked up at his father with a scrunched muzzle.

Webber didn’t answer immediately, eyes glazing over. “Ve’re not sure.”

Oh. Oh no. I had been able to exclude the fact I was ‘dating’ Twilight from our reports so far. As far as anyling was aware, I was being given extra remedial friendship lessons as ordered by Princess Cadance – which was very technically true. It was so technically true ve had a hard time rationalizing that it wasn’t a lie, but the matter was rather personal, and I hadn’t wanted anyling – Lord or Analyst – suggesting I take advantage of the situation.

It seemed I would have to have a number of very important chats soon.

The hurricane of hooves returned with a blindfold, some blue and pink velvet, and a nail. Ve were literally shaken from our musings as the blindfold was forced upon me and the ‘tail’ was set in my hoof. One. Two. Three. Four. Four-point-nine-seven clockwise rotations. Correct for the initial zero-point-zero-three rotational error.

I walked ahead towards my target. Any dizzy stumbles – all sixteen of them – were similarly corrected when they caused minute rotational errors, and upon reaching the wall ve drew up a virtual map of the room as ve vaguely recalled it. The poster was about two hooves off of the ground and an additional two hooves tall and wide. Twilight’s posterior was slightly off-center, so we took an educated guess and planted the ‘tail’ with around a quarter-hoof’s worth of distance for the margin of error.

“Yeah! Mo! You go and nail Twilight there!” Rainbow catcalled from behind me.

Peaking from beneath the blindfold, I fought back a blush – quickly transmuting my blood color – for having aimed slightly too low. “I believe there’s a problem with this game.” I bluffed. “It’s too easy for changelings to win.”

“Really?” Blindfolded once more by a rush of pink, I was moved back and spun once more. Several tests of exponentially increasing amounts of spinning did indeed prove that ve needed to be spun to the point of sickness to induce any reliable sort of error.

“Well, this sucks….” The Pink Menace whined as I tried to settle my stomach. “How are we gonna play Pin the Tail on the Pony?”

“I have an idea.” One of the Harvesters coughed politely. I think it was Ekho, but it could have just as easily been Echo or Echoe. “Let’s see if ve can remember how to do this.”

She squirmed about with a look of discomfort on her face for a minute or so. I was about to ask what she was doing when her tail popped off to almost everypony’s horror.

“Eek!” Rarity screamed, faux fainting onto a couch she pulled from the aether.

“It’s fine! I’m fine! Really!” Echo— Echoe— Ekho? Ekho waved reassuringly to everypony. Levitating her tail up, she placed it on her rear end, and waited while there was a brief clicking sound. When she let go, her tail was reattached and everypony sighed in relief – only to gasp in horror again as she yanked it right off once more.

I chuckled as ve finally found the relevant memories. “Ve forgot that ve could do that.”

“You can detach and reattach you tails!” Twilight gasped.

Ekho shrugged. “It’s like unhinging your jaw. Temporarily displace the relevant muscles, and it falls right out. Makes a great gag, and it could probably make a great party game too.” She chittered. “So who’s up for Pin the Tail on the Changeling?”

The problem with Pin the Tail on the Changeling was that most ponies lacked the acute senses needed to track a moving target while blindfolded. Rainbow had managed, but she was an outlier with her sensitivity to the wind, and the others had simply stumbled about until Pinkie came up with a wonderful solution.

“Marco…” Fluttershy’s call was almost lost in the din of the party.

“Polo!” Her target – one of the Echo triplets – chirped back.

I chuckled as Fluttershy moved towards her target and managed to connect the tail. The telltale hiss and click of success was followed by a startled squeak as Fluttershy lifted her blindfold to find the Harvester grinning back at her, fangs bared playfully.

Sipping my punch, I nibbled on another honey bun. The sweet taste of baked love was like a rain of chocolate and honey carried on the freshest of breezes. Bon Bon and Lyra had provided a portion of their honey for the festivities and it was divine.

A heady miasma of joy filled the room like cotton candy mist – enough to give even me a slight buzz. The harvesters and Errant reveled in it – playing and laughing with Pinkie, Rainbow, and Fluttershy like nothing was wrong – yet the other changelings were at least somewhat reserved. Spi and Webber were chatting with Twilight and Rarity in the corner, while Hera held a staring contest with Applejack.

Lyra and Bon Bon had disappeared, but I suspected it would be unwise to search for them. They’d left trailing a faint taste of leather, and the First Father only knew what they were up to.

Closing our eyes and opening our heart to it all, I took another deep draught of the happiness in the room. I heard Rarity titter about something, and a bit of rubber – probably from Twilight – managed to sneak its way in. The strong taste of orange disinfectant hit me briefly before someling’s filter clamped down. The hesitant clatter of hooves headed my way, and I opened my eyes to see Webber squirming before me.

“Forgive me for prying, My Lor— I mean, Morpheus, as it is not our place as friend or servant to do so, but Rarity says you are dating Twilight.”

I nearly choked at Webber’s words, and I found myself pounding my chest to restart my heart from the sugary overload of joy. Of course Rarity would tell him and the others. The more ponies – or changelings – to fall for the ruse, the harder it was to label as such. At some point truth and fiction would blur, and Twilight and I would be together whether we wanted it or not.

It was a crafty ploy worthy of a Lord, and ve would have worried more at her cunning if I hadn’t known she was making an active effort to actually bring Twilight and I together consensually. As it was, ve were fairly sure the fashionista would back off if me or Twilight were truly unhappy. And if she couldn’t – as her machinations could, in fact, spiral beyond her control – ve were positive she would spend the rest of her life attempting to correct things.

Slowly, my heart began to beat again, and I glared at Rarity who tittered more, waving coyly. Spi and Twilight watched from afar with trepidation, and I sighed before turning back to Webber.

“It’s not exactly what you think.” I kept my voice low and swirled my punch around. Fishing out an ice cube, I crushed it to pieces beneath my fangs. “You, of course, saw the report on how we could feel love.”

Webber nodded, and I took a sip mulling over the proper words. “You might have gone through the memories even, but they say nothing of whether we have the capacity to love here and now. ’Dating’ Twilight – if it can even be called that – is partly an attempt to replicate Ichorous’ feelings on my end – not that Twilight knows that – and partly an attempt to free Twilight from the stress of Rarity’s matchmaking manipulations.”

“Oh, good….” Webber nearly collapsed in relief. “For a second ve were worried you were actually falling for her.”

I arched my brow. “I did say I was attempting to see if I could develop feelings for her, right?”

Webber bowed his head. “Attempting something is different than succeeding in it. No doubt, you’ll cut things off if you actually begin to develop feelings for her. Ve mean, you must have considered all the traps and pitfalls such a relationship would bring to negotiations.”

“Ve did.” I grumbled. “One could argue ve were forced into this position, but ve wouldn’t put so much faith in my ability to simply cease any feelings I do begin to have. Love is rarely a logical beast.”

There was a rather awkward silence for a minute as ve tried and failed to think of some more appropriate conversation topic. Webber – having a hard time looking up – had turned to look watch his offspring.

“So Errant seemed happy to see you…”

I smiled. “They’ve certainly grown. I was surprised to hear them still calling me uncle, though.”

Webber winced. “I didn’t have it in me to tell the Breeders to stop that little habit, but ve suppose that’s a good thing now….”

I nodded. “Have they started to show any signs of a gender identity? I must admit that I’d prefer a nephew to a niece.”

“I haven’t seen any yet.” Webber’s voice was a soft whirring whistle. “Ve’re petty sure they’ll decide to be male, though. They certainly act more like a colt than a filly.”

I grinned. “Most fillies don’t slobber that much. Remember the time we stuck Hera in a cocoon? She didn’t get all the goop out of her joints for weeks.”

Webber chuckled, glancing at the hulking Warrior’s staring contest with Applejack. “I’d forgotten about that. Ve haven’t thought about those days in a long time. Hard to believe I was once taller than her.”

I thrummed. “Hard to believe she’s a Warrior, but ve suppose she was always the most enduring of us all.”

“She had to be to put up with your---” Realizing he was about to tease me, he choked.

Silence descended once more until Errant ran up to pull us both into the Dashathon – where Echo, Echoe, Ekho, and Rainbow were all strutting their stuff to prove to Fluttershy that they were the real Rainbow Dash.

Meeting the Town (Twilight) Part 1

Proper Recognition (Morpheus) Part 4

Alas, I’ve spent far too much time avoiding the meat of your inquiry. When you asked for details on the party, I can only assume you were interested in the arrival of our most esteemed guests.

“Princess Celestia! Princess Luna! I almost thought you weren’t coming!” The taste of cotton candy exploded through the room as Pinkie spoke. “Did Kibitz hide the invitations again?”

My blood froze as ve processed the presence of the diarchy of Equestria. They had regally walked into the store – without guards. Celestia’s mask was the image of serenity. Only the tiniest, microscopic, twitch to her lips suggested she wished her smile could widen a bit. Luna – in contrast – glowered imperiously at me. Her gaze softened slightly as she looked at everypony else, yet it hardened again without fail upon seeing me.

“Hello, Pinkie Pie.” The rest of the room fell silent as the princess spoke. “Hello, everypony, everyling.” She nodded to all of us in turn. “I do hope we’re not interrupting.”

“Twilight!”

“Spike?!”

The little dragon jumped— No. Leapt? He fairly flew through the door and across the room to sweep his caretaker into a hug, and I had to force myself not to wince at the crackling pops coming from Twilight’s joints.

“S-Spike! W-what are you—" Twilight gave a gurgling squeak from a particularly affectionate squeeze.

“We thought it best he return early,” Luna whispered with a voice of silent thunder – quiet, yet omnipresent, “especially as our sister insisted on sneaking out today.”

For a moment, Luna’s glower shifted from me to her sister. Celestia, for her part, continued to serenely smile as her wing engulfed the Lunar Princess in something between a slap and a hug.

“And aren’t you glad I did it sooner rather than later.” Celestia nodded towards Spike and Twilight as she maintained her chokehold on her sister.

Luna’s facade broke momentarily as she watched the pair. “Perhaps, Tia, but our objections are based on your reasons for coming, not our own.”

“Why are you here then, Princess?” I tilted my head back to look Celestia in the eye. “Ve doubt you came all this way for a simple welcome party.”

“Oh, I came for the party – brought a gift and everything.” Her smile shifted without truly shifting – plaster becoming glass.

“Why don’t ve believe that?” I arched my brow.

Celestia chuckled. “Because I’ve been nothing short of hostile towards you so far – even with the concessions I’ve made.” The taste of wine – ancient with an old, dry, forgotten bitterness – washed over me. “From what Twilight’s told me, you’re beginning to understand why, though.”

I frowned. “No clue in the slightest.”

She blinked. “I… see…. I suppose I need to talk to both of you while I’m here then, but that is neither here nor there.” Ruffling her wings, she withdrew a scroll case from their expansive feathery folds. “Your gift – should you accept it – is an official offer of negotiations.”

I took a step back, bracing ourself for the obvious catch to come, but none was forthcoming. Indeed, there was merely silence. Rarity fluttered her eyelashes in anticipation. Fluttershy had a small smile that was almost hidden by her mane. Rainbow and Applejack had their muzzles scrunched, but seemed to be withholding any lingering objections. Pinkie was grinning maniacally – trying desperately not to twitch – and Twilight was too busy returning Spike’s hug to notice.

“Why now?” I asked as our thoughts buzzed with the drone of thousands of incoming messages telling us to take it. Someling – Hera, Webber, Spi, the other analysts scurrying about our web of probability – had spilled. Even the other lords were telling me to take it, although I knew they thought the same thing as me.

This screamed trap.

Celestia’s smile burned like the sun. “Twilight has given me some very detailed reports of your activities – all but begging me to grant you this as swiftly as possible. Really, you should be flattered. It’s not often Twilight calls me out on my mistakes so willingly.”

I glanced at Twilight, then looked back to the scroll case before me. Reaching out, I tentatively grasped it and unlocked the seal with my magic. There was a hiss and several clicks as the case opened – suggesting the internal lock was far more complicated than the simple exterior suggested. Prying the cap off, I gently slid several pieces of parchment forth.

I looked through them – both the official declaration of open negotiations and the more personal letter of apology that aforementioned negotiations had been delayed. Everything seemed in order as far as ve could tell, but that did not mean there was no trap.

The bitterness to her emotions was old, however – decrepit and rotting. Her distrust was dead and nothing more than a corpse clutching feebly to the shore of a sea of wine amidst an arid wasteland. Such distrust gave me little pause in and of itself – dead as it was – but the sorrow and loneliness it clung to were of greater concern, preserving the corpse so that it might raise its sunbleached head from time to time.

In all our previous meetings, I had sensed little to suggest such emotional turmoil, but Cadance had shown me that proper discipline would allow Celestia to hide her feelings. She was not doing so here. Her physical mask was as frustratingly serene as ever, yet she was being honest where it mattered.

“V-ve don’t believe it.” I muttered in a poor attempt to maintain my image. The analysts were demanding real time updates, and the entire hive was no doubt watching. “Ve didn’t expect official negotiations for at least a couple months. Ve thought I’d need to beg for the concessions the hive needed.”

“Yes, well, even at my worst you’ll find me surprisingly reasonable.”

I snorted. “Perhaps I’d believe that more if you showed more than a plaster smile.”

“Morpheus!” Twilight had broken from her hug to stare at me aghast, while everypony else gasped. Rarity fainted, and the Echo triplets quickly joined her – also summoning fainting couches as they shifted into her form.

“Sister…” Luna growled. Her lips gave the faintest twitch of downwards movement.

“He’s right, though, Luna.” Celestia sighed. “A mask is a mask is a mask is a mask, unless it is a mask.”

Everyling – even Errant – tilted their head, ear tubes twitching.

“Where did you hear that?” I asked.

The Princess of the Sun smiled, and for a moment I thought my heart would drown in wine. “A friend of mine used to say it a long, long time ago – back before the changelings did nothing but hide in shadows.” She sighed once more. “Well, I suppose me and my sister have certainly held up the party long enough.” She bowed her head in apology to everypony else. “We weren’t really expecting so many changelings, and I can see we’re having quite the effect on you all, so – if you’ll just excuse us – I need to borrow Twilight and the Prince before we’re on our way.”

She nodded to Luna. “Sister, if you would grab a slice of cake for me.”

As Celestia trotted into the kitchen, I hesitated and looked to Twilight – who appeared torn about leaving Spike’s iron grip. Spike, in turn, squinted at me. Releasing one claw from its death grip on Twilight, he pointed to his eyes then back to me. Seeing this must have settled something for her, because after Twilight bit her lip and lowered her head to whisper something to him, she started towards the kitchen – Spike still firmly attached to her side. At the doorway, she pried Spike off of her, hugged him one more time, and trotted through the door.

Following her lead, I, well, followed. Going through the door, I almost walked straight into Celestia. I was about to ask why she hadn’t moved farther in the room when my surroundings actually registered.

The kitchen seemed small for such a busy bakery, but perhaps that was just the inordinate amount of cast iron ovens pressing in from all sides. The air wavered from heat – or perhaps that was delirium – and dozens of timers ticked and tocked. The ringing of several types of cuckoo clocks announced the beginning of a new hour one after the other. One particularly loud piece nearly had me jump out of my shell at the telltale shriek of a basilisk.

“What is this—" I shuddered "—a kitchen or some form of demented crematory?”

Twilight sighed. “The Cakes lost a bet and had to let Pinkie redesign the kitchen when they needed to upgrade.”

“So they let her make the demon kitchen from Tartarus?” I snorted.

Twilight tsked. “It’s really not that bad. The heat is just a byproduct of the extra ovens. Both would be here regardless of Pinkie.”

“And the clocks?” I arched an eyebrow as the gravelly screech of a gargoyle clock filled the air.

“I personally think it had to do with her reading Divine Comedy’s Divine Comedy, but most of the clocks aren’t really...” Her face scrunched trying to come up with the right word. Finally, she just shrugged. “It’s Pinkie Pie, though, so who can say. Also, haven’t you been in here to bake with her?”

“Ve didn’t think it was real!” I rolled my eyes. “I was so drunk on joy at the time ve just assumed it to be a hallucination induced from working with the Pink Menace!”

“She’s not a menace!”

I took a step back at the spicy flames of anger mixed with those words, and the room suddenly became heated for a completely different reason. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like—"

A cough from beside me ground my sentence to a halt. Somehow I had forgotten the giant white goddess looming over me. She had recovered her composure, and was looking at us with that hive-forsaken smile again, the one ve could not read whether it was real or fake.

“Children, I do believe you both know better.” The smile widened slightly – perhaps that meant it was real.

Real or not, that didn’t stop an emerald blush from blazing down the back of my neck. My ear tubes splayed back, and my wings whined. Twilight faired no better, although her wings ruffled rather than whine.

“Sorry….” Twilight and I spoke simultaneously.

Celestia lit her horn and the room was suddenly much more quiet and manageable. The heat was cozy rather than sweltering, and the incessant ticking of clocks and timers was almost non-existent – even if I strained my hearing.

“There. Much better. Are you ready?” One could hear the eyebrow arch, although her face remained serene as ever.

Twilight and I both nodded, putting on our serious masks.

Pulling out another scroll case – this one very small and nondescript – from her wings, she nodded to me. “In that case, here is a copy of your escape clause. It already has my signature. I couldn’t mention it before, but part of opening negotiations is freeing you from your Contract. Keep it safe, and add your own signature to it when you are alone in Twilight’s castle tonight.”

“Ve— Ve don’t know what to say.” My voice fractured – the echo of an echo strangely distorted in the Princess’ privacy bubble. I bowed my head respectfully, and hid the case in my corbiculae. “I am honored that you find me worthy of such trust.”

Twilight’s mask was struggling to hold. Her body was tense at the announcement, as if trying not to jump on happy-hooves, and tingles of her pride crawled all over me.

“It was never about trust, Prince Morpheus.” Celestia’s emotions pecked at me like a mother hen. “Honestly, I would have preferred tossing the contract in the first place, but you needed to understand just what you were trying to do.”

“I told you that it would have been a mercy.” I frowned.

“And you found out just how incorrect that philosophy was.” The princess’ breathing deepened in a barely perceivable manner – her nostrils flaring slightly as she took in more oxygen. Spicy embers of emotion sputtered, but did little more – quickly being drenched with more wine and lemonade. “There was never any reason to abandon all hope.”

“You’re right.” I looked to the floor.

“You were both right.” A purple wing wrapped around me, and I looked up to find Twilight’s serious mask was gone.

She held her head high, looking regally at Celestia as if daring her to argue, yet kept breaking from the glare to look at me with warm eyes full of support. In that moment, she truly was the Princess of Friendship, and I envied how easy she made it seem.

No. That was a lie. I was just jealous how she could play her part without consequences. If I showed this kind of concern back at the hive, the other lords would have seen it as weakness. Celestia, though, almost exploded with a pride that only barely touched her face. It felt as though lightning was arcing through the room, and the taste of ozone was strong as the elder diarch of Equestria – an ancient alicorn of uncountable years worth of wisdom – lowered her head in concession.

“As you say, Twilight. Hence the reason we are dropping the Contract. In truth, I’m not sure I was entirely myself when I imposed it. I try to remain as impartial as possible but—" the taste of ancient wine and long dead bitterness returned as her voice hitched "—but it is hard to not sometimes take things personally.”

Her smile abandoned its serenity, becoming much more wistful. “That’s the other reason I’m here – to try and clear the air.” She looked at Twilight. “You asked me about Radiant Dawn in your reports, but I didn’t answer— couldn’t answer.”

“It’s okay, Princess, you don’t have to—" Twilight started.

“No, Twilight, I’m quite sure I do have to talk about this – if not for my sake, then for hers.” Celestia shook her head and sighed, turning her gaze to a changeling-themed clock I hadn’t noticed before.

The ‘queen’ emitted harsh chiming chirps to signal the hour – the incredibly inaccurate hour – before retreating to her black chitinous hive. Several seconds passed as Celestia watched – gathering her thoughts – before the clock shimmered, suddenly hiding behind the illusion of an ordinary cuckoo clock. Still, the princess stared at the clock as if its quiet ticks and tocks revealed some untold secret only she could hear.

When she finally spoke it was a whisper. “History doesn’t remember Radiant because very few ponies knew I had a daughter in the first place – nothing more, nothing less. I didn’t want her to be an irresistible target, so I ‘adopted’ her as a ward of the crown, and disguised her as a pegasus. With all the chaos caused by Discord at the time, she was just another casualty as far historians were ever concerned.”

She closed her eyes and hummed in thought. “Luna and I were… content to remember her on our own. I won’t be so dramatic as to say I’m reminded of her every day when I raise the sun, but it happens on occasion, and I am thankful for it. Her eyes were the soft grey of dawn, you see, and her mane was the mish-mash of pinks clouds take on in the early light of day.”

She sighed and yet managed to smile. “Sometimes the randomest things will dredge up my memories of her. Somepony laughing. A foal playing games. A pegasus playfully swooping through the air.”

The smile became a frown, and she ruffled her wings before breaking her gaze from the clock to look at me. “Honestly,I should have known better than to hold a grudge for her passing, and I thought I stopped harboring one long ago. Radiant wouldn’t have wanted me to blame you.”

She looked to the ground, ethereal mane hiding her face. “The wedding I could overlook—" a brief spark of anger said otherwise "—because I knew something was wrong. I had gathered enough evidence over the years to know that your kind had survived, but that whatever happened all those years ago left scars. When you gave us that damnable Contract, though…”

Twilight gave me an extra squeeze with her wing. I hadn’t realized she was still hugging me – paying attention to Celestia as I was. I looked at her, and she smiled reassuringly.

“You need to understand I am not a perfect ruler.”

My ear tubes flicked at Celestia’s deep, measured, breath, and I looked back to meet her gaze.

“No matter how many millennia of experience I have, I still make mistakes. For the sake of Radiant and my former changeling friends, I held onto the hope that your people would heal, and my sister and I are not ones to give up hope that easily to begin with. That thing you gave us was the antithesis of everything we stand for—" the Princess of the Sun shuddered "—and I couldn’t help but get so very, very angry at the mere suggestion of what you wanted.”

She bowed her head. “I am sorry for that.”

I closed my eyes – haws included – so that ve could process what had the princess had said. Celestia Sol Invicta had just bared her heart for me. She had shown she was capable of weakness and vulnerability. A small part of us wanted to use that to our advantage – to guilt her – but I knew how that would turn out.

“Princess, I...” I chewed my tongue as ve tried to find the words “...I accept the apology, but really don’t think it’s necessary. If anything, I should apologize to you.”

There. Something civil and proper, yet compassionate. Her apology made, it was time to resume the game, and I made that clear with my response. It was for the best really. It wouldn’t do for her to dwell on unpleasant memories.

Smiling sincerely for a moment, the Princess of the Sun donned her mask again – her smile serene and her emotions dulled. “It really isn’t necessary, but thank you.”

Twilight looked between the two of us, eyes squinting. “Changelings.” She muttered as she withdrew her wing from around me. “Not sure why I bother trying sometimes.” Celestia chuckled at that, and Twilight froze.

“Discord damn it all. I just accidentally compared Celestia to a changeling. Third Eye was right.” She giggled maniacally as she turned to leave.

“Third Eye was right!” One could almost call her laugh a cackle as she trotted through the door back to the party.

I stared on in bemusement as Celestia’s chuckles turned to giggles. Looking up at the princess, I licked my chops. “Has she ever cackled before, or is she just picking up my bad habits?”

It’s odd really. Despite being in the exact same position myself, ve still found it hard to see the princess as anything more than a princess. Talking with Celestia that day, I started to see the pony she really is, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it.

Regardless, the next day marked a turning point in my stay -- not from anything I did, but rather from the riveting headline news to hit the papers.

Meeting the Town (Twilight) Part 2

Meeting the Town (Twilight) Part 1

Changing Times’ Notes: Foals – and nymphs – are such wonderful, innocent, creatures. When the adults of Equestria responded to the idea of integration with confusion, suspicion, or fear, it was often the foals who led the way. Their innocent curiosity would tempt them to interact with the changelings when nopony else would, and – in doing so – they would do much to ease our minds on the matter.

Meeting the Town: A Report by Princess Twilight Sparkle

I went to bed the night Celestia officialized negotiations, confident we could handle any reaction. The next morning I woke to find things wouldn’t be so simple, but it was still a far cry from the prophecies of doom and gloom Morpheus and Webber were spouting.

Not that Morpheus believed his predictions per se, but I’ve found Webber isn’t the only analyst to hyperfocus on the worst case scenarios. Between the dire predictions of ruin from his analysts and the unscrupulous nature of most of the other lords, he was under a lot of pressure to look out for impractical and implausible coincidences.

“Twilight.”

The distinct feeling of scaly claws and a dragon calling my name woke me from slumber. Wanting to drowse but not to grouse, I snatched Spike from beside me and dragged him under the covers to snuggle.

“Twilight, come on! I need you to wake up!”

Spike struggled to break free from my unyielding grip as his inner fire warmed me from comfy to cozy. I mumbled something about two more hours – or maybe it was five minutes – and he settled down, resting his head in the crook of my neck.

“Alright, then… But it’s not my fault if the mob breaks through the door to lynch the bug.”

The rich aroma of coffee hit my nostrils –almost but not quite enough to draw me from slumber – and it took a couple minutes for his statement to snake its way through the current quagmire of my thoughts.

“Mob?!” The jolt of energy was short lived, and I didn’t surge so much as flounder out of bed – the blankets and Spike coming with me. Trapped in a cocoon on the floor with a grumbling dragon, I lifted a hoof to blindly grasp for the coffee on my bedside table even as my mind threatened to shut down once more. I burst forth from my confines so the bitter ambrosia could meet my tongue, and as I chugged it down I could feel a tingling warmth spreading through me as I truly started to wake up.

“Just as I was getting comfy, too…” the blankets groused.

“Sorry.” I lifted Spike from the blankets to nuzzle him before placing him on my back. Grabbing the second cup he’d so thoughtfully provided, I looked out the window. “Now what’s this about a… mob?”

There was indeed a group of ponies in front of Castle, although calling them a mob seemed somewhat of an overstatement. Timid murmuring and awkward shuffling accompanied nervous glances towards the morning paper – everypony had their morning paper.

A flash of light momentarily blinded me. “Princess Twilight?! Princess Twilight! Is it true you’re secretly harboring a changeling lovechild?!” The reporter had come from nowhere – camera blazing. I had little opportunity to hear the crowd’s murmuring increase in volume before the window promptly shut itself and disappeared in a flash of light.

“I don’t think that’s helping, Castle.” I frowned.

“It was hilarious, though.” Spike giggled. “I would have loved to see that reporter’s face.”

“Come on….” I sighed. “Let’s go grab Morpheus and try to diffuse things. You fetch the paper, Spike? I want to see what’s so grievous that everypony can’t wait until a decent hour.”

“It’s could be worse.” Ever the number one assistant, Spike held the paper before me. “Should be worse.” He muttered.

“Now, Spike...” I grabbed it in my telekinesis and scanned it while continuing through Castle. There wasn’t anything too bad. It was just the official statement from Celestia to the rest of Equestria. “Are you still hung up on the changeling thing?”

“No!” His claws bit into me just enough to hurt. “Not really… Maybe… Sorta… I’ll get over it….”

I turned my head to study him. “Are you sure? I mean – with the negotiations officially starting – I can probably have the others help house everypony. It isn’t much, but it would give you a little more space.”

“No. No….” He waved a claw dismissively. “Luna says I need to get used to them, and that avoiding Morpheus in Canterlot wasn’t helping.” He took a deep breath. “Besides, what kind of assistant would I be if I messed up your work? I’ll be fine.”

I squinted at him, and he tried to smile. “Alright then. As long as you’re sure…”

“Positive!” He nodded stiffly.

I wanted to call him out on how forced his behavior was, but couldn’t. As long as Spike didn’t take it too far for my sake, it was good that he was trying to give Morpheus a chance. Instead, I turned back to the paper – half-smiling, half-frowning.

Turning around a corner, I saw Morpheus’ room down the next hall. The giant hulking beast that was Hera was standing motionless beside the door. Not just black, she had blue chitinous plates that gleamed with a polished shine like armor as she stared stolidly into the distance. Like last night, her haws were closed such that I couldn’t see her eyes – adding to the eerie statue-esque quality of her demeanour.

“Hello!” I waved as we approached.

There was no response. Her silence was almost more palpable than it had been last night at the party.

“May we see Morpheus, please?” I decided to try a more formal approach in case my friendliness was off putting. She had certainly seemed uncomfortable at the party – standing off to the side silently – although I wasn’t sure any of my friends except Pinkie and Mo had noticed.

He— She? It was hard to tell, but I think Morpheus had referred to them with female terms.

She stared at me for a moment, horn glowing, and I felt the familiar tingle of a scanning spell wash over me. As it passed, she met my gaze for a few moments – staring into me with those blank azure orbs – before nodding tersely. As I started to pass her, she held out a hoof to stop me.

“If you would, please try not to stress him further.” She thrummed – her voice a moderately low but unquestionably female tone. Something in the timbre made it smoother than the prince’s.

I watched her for a moment, but – beyond retracting her hoof – she refused to move any more. Even her breathing was so controlled as to make her seem still as death itself. Entering the room beyond, I saw Morpheus at his desk, scribbling on a parchment.

“Ah, Twilight!” He didn’t even look up. “I was just about to come looking for you. Ve’ve been receiving some reports of unrest throughout Equestria from my agents, and Spi just confirmed we have a potential mob outside. Have you seen the morning paper yet? Ve already tried talking with Celestia about it via proxy, but she turned us away saying not to worry about anywhere but Ponyville.”

“I’m sure—" I started.

His wings buzzed momentarily as his echo fractured. “How can she expect me not to worry?! I mean, it would be folly to blindly hope everything turns out alright – no matter how well things turned out with you and the others – and our projections estimate that—"

“Dude, slow down. The paper really isn’t that bad.” Spike hopped down from my back.

Morpheus blew on the paper’s surface to dry it as he set his quill down. Glaring at it for a moment, he nodded before crumpling it up and incinerating it. “Of course it isn’t that bad, but even Celestia’s hundreds of years worth of experience with the press doesn’t guarantee a perfect pitch, and ponies were skittish of changelings even when we were just myths and fairy tales.”

“Morpheus…” I walked up to set my hoof on his withers. “I’m sure everything is going to be fine. Aren’t you excited, though? You’ve made huge progress in just a few weeks. I can’t speak for all of Equestria, but it was no small feat convincing me, my friends, and even the princesses of your goodwill.”

He bit his chops. “Applejack is still on the fence, and ve’re not sure Rainbow is convinced, either. She acts like she is, but ve think it might just be bravado for your sake – kind of like how Spike is currently nodding in sympathy to hide his actual feelings of me.”

“Hey!” Spike balled his claws at his sides and stomped.

“I’m sorry, but you’re quite clearly not over you’re hostility towards me.” Morpheus shrugged.

“I’m trying!” Spike stomped again and snorted the tiniest gout of flame.

“Boys.” I didn’t shout so much as project my presence with Celestia’s ‘Mother Equis’ voice, and they both immediately went silent. Nodding in thanks when it was clear I had the floor, I continued – looking at Morpheus. “Even if some of the others don’t trust you fully yet, you’ve at least convinced us all to give you a chance. That means something.” I ruffled my wings and puffed my chest out. “Hay, it convinced Celestia to officially declare negotiations! You should be proud about all you’ve accomplished.”

“Too much, too fast…” The prince pinched the bridge of his muzzle between one of the holes in his hoof. “The lords and even some of my loyal subjects are nervous – many of the analysts in particular – at how infeasible my progress is. Too much of a good thing bodes ill for when things turn south, after all.”

I tsked. “Don’t sell yourself short. There were plenty of obstacles along the way.” You’ve earned your chance, regardless of what anypony says.”

He huffed, buzzing his wings. “I know that. Ve know that. They do not, however. Remember that our initial projections for negotiations were quite dire.” Irritated buzzing gave way to a thoughtful thrum. “They’ve seen my reports – even some of my memories – but they cannot believe. To believe is to have hope – something they cannot afford.”

Spike snorted. “Don’t be such a drama queen.”

Morpheus shook his head. “It is not dramatic flare. It is stating the facts. We wouldn’t have survived as long as we have with impractical ideas like hope providing a false sense of security. Hope holds you up to make the fall that much farther – something analysts can’t afford when trying to create a non-biased web of probability.”

He shrugged. “As for the lords, they just don’t want me to succeed in general. Some of them are alright, but the majority of them want the throne. Any success on my part has a negative impact on that goal.”

“Well then, I guess we should keep the ball rolling.” I smiled. “Let’s prove the analysts wrong and throw a wrench in the other lords gears by introducing you to the town.”

“I would advise against that.”

I nearly jumped out of my skin when Hera spoke from behind me. She had apparently entered at some point without me noticing. Had she followed me in? No. I would have heard it if she followed me in, or Spike would have seen her – hulking behemoth that she was. Unless, of course, she somehow had a way to silence her footsteps. She was a changeling after all….

“It would be a huge security risk to show yourself, My Lord. Without more guards, I’m going to have to insist you remain in the castle.” The guard stood completely rigid as she relayed her intent.

“Hera…” Morpheus sighed. “We went over this before I left….”

The warrior seemed to expand – enlarging herself such that she towered above me. Her wings buzzed, and her voice thrummed with power. “We did, and because of our talk you were assaulted by the Element of Loyalty.”

I winced at the accusation. Still, this was a prime opportunity to see changeling behavioral dynamics. Feeling only a little guilty, I stepped to the sides and conjured my notebook.

Morpheus’ wings buzzed in reply to his friends words, making his wings seem larger and more menacing as he and Hera stalked each other – circling each other, looking for weakness.

“You can’t protect me from everything.”

“I can try, sir. I can try.”

“And if it costs us everything to hide me away?”

“Then I’ll have at least done my job.”

“Your job is to protect me for the good of the hive. If it’s to the betterment of the hive, then my safety is only a secondary goal.”

“I didn’t become a warrior for the hive. I became a warrior for you and your vision.”

Morpheus hesitated, and Hera advanced – forcing him to take a step back.

“My duty is to you first and the hive second, whether you like it or not. You are going to stay in the castle until this blows over.”

“It won’t blow over until ve make it blow over! That is our duty! Follow us if you must, but you will mind your place in the scheme of things!” The prince snorted and stomped the ground. His echo fractured – seeming to come as a chorus from everywhere and nowhere – as he advanced and Hera retreated.

Spike poked me and gestured between the two, raising an eyebrow. Seeing just how much Morpheus’ plates rippled and surged over his body, I sighed internally. It seemed we had a friendship problem.

When no other protest was made by Hera, Morpheus burst into flames to emerge as Wicked. Looking in the mirror, he shook his head before shedding the disguise and walking through the door. “Come on, Twilight.”

I cantered to catch up, snatching Spike up once again. “Wait!” Slowing as I reached him, I hissed. “What was all that about? I thought you wanted your friends to treat you as more than a lord. ‘Mind your place.’ Are you insane? That probably took a lot of courage for her to say!”

In the corner of my eye, I saw a titanous beige pegasus exit his room to follow us.

The prince bit his chops. “Things are different with Hera.... She isn’t afraid to tell me I’m being stupid….” He squirmed looking over his shoulder to see our stalker. “Normally, she isn’t quite as vocal, but that’s not the issue here.”

“Then what is the issue?” I arched my eyebrow.

“I’m not made of glass.” He frowned at the floor passing beneath us. “As much as it’s her job to protect me, it’s my job to provide for her and the rest of the hive, and I need to go out and meet the town to do that.”

He flicked his wings. “Any other ling I’d love to have stand up to me, but Hera already does that. What she doesn’t do is open up. You know, today was the first time I ever heard her say her duty was to me and not the hive? I didn’t know she felt that way. That’s… I… Ve always assumed…”

He trailed off, and I didn’t press things – instead, mulling over what he’d said.

“Assuming makes an ass of you and me.”

“Spike, language!” I chided, craning my neck around to scowl at him.

“What?” Spike shrugged. “It isn’t speciesist if the donkeys made the saying.”

“That’s not the point! The point is that—” I shook my head. “Doesn’t matter. Getting side-tracked.” I turned back to Morpheus. “Look, maybe Hera wasn’t just standing up to you. Maybe she was just trying to reach out? I mean, you said she usually doesn’t mind admonishing you, so maybe she thought it’d be better to start on familiar ground?”

“Maybe….” Morpheus droned.

“Just talk to her about it.” I nudged him. “You might be surprised to find your friends never left you at all. I know she certainly seemed concerned when she told me not to stress you out earlier.”

"Really?” He tilted his head. “It didn’t sound that way to me.”

“I have a brother in the guard.” I giggled. “Trust me. I know what concerned stoicism sounds like.” I cocked my head to the side. “Can’t you taste it?”

He flinched. “No… I can’t…. It’s expected of the others to maintain a filter of respectful silence around me. That’s why I haven’t had a heart to heart in so long….”

Oh…. That sounded like being trapped in a library where the books wouldn’t open. I could feel my stomach churn at the very idea.

“You haven’t had a what?” Spike asked.

“A heart to heart…” Morpheus chirped – wings rubbing together to make the mournful sound of a lone violin. “It’s a method of communication involving fluctuation of one’s emotions. It’s not something I’ve been able to take part in for a long time.”

Spike scratched his chin. “That sounds…” His face scrunched as he trailed off. It began to purple as he tried to say the words and failed. After a few moments, I couldn’t watch it any longer and gave him a brief nuzzle to let him know he didn’t have to try too hard.

“Twilight…” Spike squirmed from the contract, but I could feel him start to relax – claws easing some of their hold on my back. He caught sight of Morpheus grinning and glared. “Not. A. Word.”

“Not even thanks?” The prince chirped a much more happy sounding whistling whir. “I could taste the emotion behind your sentiment even if you couldn’t say it.”

“Nope! No thanks!” Spike huffed. “I just had a moment of weakness in judgement.”

I didn’t know whether to smile or sigh at the admission.

“Alright then.” Morpheus’ grin faltered, but didn’t fade. “I’ll keep what you said in mind, though, Twilight. Who knows… Maybe it’ll be easier than I think it’ll be—” he looked back at our looming shadow “—especially when she just eavesdropped on our entire conversation.”

“It’s not eavesdropping if you say it where anyling can hear it, sir.” Hera wasn’t even phased at the accusation.

“You did tell me that once.” I rubbed the back of my head.

“Yes, of course.” Morpheus gave a ghost of a smile to his friend. “I was just checking that you heard all of that.”

“I will neither confirm nor deny what I may or may not have heard.” Hera droned.

“Don’t give me that!” Morpheus snorted. “Just come up here for a bit. We need to talk.”

Turning the corner, the entrance hall finally revealed itself. Spi, the Echo triplets, and Errant were peaking out the window – Errant waving every now and then – while Webber stood stiffly by the door, eyes glossed over.

Spike hopped off my back and waddled over to climb up and take a look himself. Sitting on the window sill, he scrutinized the outside, muttering to himself.

“Darn it….” Morpheus sighed as Hera moved up to our side. “Nevermind… I didn’t realize we were this close. I’ll talk to you in private later. Okay?” He bared his fangs in a smile only to have it falter when Hera nodded tersely. Turning from her, he addressed Webber. “Probabilities report!”

Webber cocked his massive cranium to the side – neck clicking and ticking like clockwork. “But, My Lord, you’ve seen the report. You’re reviewing it with us right now.”

The prince gestured to me. “Twilight hasn’t heard it, has she?”

Webber bit his chops. “No. Ve suppose not, but it is highly irregular to—”

“Please.” Morpheus interrupted. “Share your work with Twilight.”

“Alright…” Webber gulped as he turned to me, and the plates over his throat rippled in response. “Well, reports on other parts of Equestria are still coming together, but so far it has led to nothing more than concerned citizens gathering outside of the local center of government.”

He nodded to me. “Ponyville, Canterlot, and the Crystal Empire being the exceptions, of course – princesses being much more… comforting, shall we say. Ve believe they are mostly in shock and disbelief at the moment. Confirmation of the truth could result in anything from fanning the flames of their fears to causing riots to simply creating a general wariness that could easily fracture into something worse.”

“Sticking to the bright side of things, I see.” I deadpanned.

“It is not my job to look on the bright side of things,” Webber droned, “but, if you must know, there is a chance the wariness will fade in time as integration progresses.”

“Only a chance, wonderful.” I rolled my eyes.

“Yes, it’s much better than the slight chance it would have been had the prince here not met such success in his endeavors so far.” The analyst apparently couldn’t detect my sarcasm. “Your support is essential here.”

“I see.” I resisted the urge to say something else sarcastic. “Do you have any suggestions on what course of action to take?”

He nodded. “The other Elements are already in the crowd – ready to support you. Don’t let the reporters antagonize you unless you want to end up in the scandal of the century, and be prepared to teleport to safety. The chance of hostilities being directed towards you is minimal, but it does exist.”

He paused – biting his chops. “Y-you may also wish to take Errant with you.” He seemed to almost fight to say the words – echo fracturing into a stutter. “T-there is a high chance the appearance of nymphs will help placate the crowd.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Do you want me to take your child into what you admitted may become an exchange of hostilities?”

He lowered his head, refusing to meet my gaze. “N-no, but all our projections estimate a higher chance of success if you do so.”

I ruffled my wings, looking back and forth between the door and Webber. “I don’t think—"

“I wanna go! I wanna go!” Errant jumped from the window to make a beeline for me. Stopping to hover in front of my face, their haws retreated to give me the biggest puppy dog eyes I’d ever seen. “I wanna help uncle Mo Mo with negations!”

“Negotiations.” Morpheus coughed.

“Negotiations!” Errant trilled.

“Errant!” Webber stomped a hoof. “What have I said about opening your haws?”

“Not to do it in front of royalty?” Errant blinked said haws. “You also told uncle Mo we need to do away with all those stupid stuffy traditions. Keeping my haws closed is one of those stupid stuffy traditions.”

Morpheus cackled. “They’ve got you there, Webber.”

“I— Ve— You—" Webber sputtered.

“Come on….” The puppy eyes were back on me. “I wanna help….” The eyes got bigger and bigger until they threatened to take up his entire head. Each blink shrouded his head in blue, and I didn’t know whether to find it horrific or adorable.

Diverting my eyes from them to Webber, I tried to resist. “How would he be helpful?”

“Well…” Webber hesitated. “Theoretically, they would end up playing with one of the foals Spi spied in the crowd while you talked to the town, and that would facilitate feelings of care, sympathy, joy, and other emotions common in child rearing.”

That was a dirty move, but I couldn’t deny the logic to it. Errant was very foal-like. It was something ponies could relate to despite the other differences changelings presented.

“Alright…” I relented, turning back to Errant, “but only if you make a very special promise not to eat anything. Parents might freak out if they think you’re eating their foals emotions.”

“Ah pwomise.”

“Hnng…” Why were they doing the pouty lip? That just wasn’t fair! He was already going out! “Not— Not that kind of promise.” I smiled. “Repeat after me. Cross my heart, and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye.” Raising my hoof I went through the motions.

“What kinda promise is that?” Errant cocked their head to the side, ear tube flicking.

“It’s a Pinkie Promise.”

“Why’s it called that?”

“Well, because breaking a promise is the fastest way to lose a friend…” I trailed off for the inevitable storm of Pinkie Pie, but it didn’t come. “Huh.… Normally, Pinkie bursts in to say—"

“Forever!” The entirety of Castle shook from the exclamation.

“Woah…” Errant looked towards the door in awe as the other changelings – sans Morpheus – hissed. “Count me in if it’s got that kinda power backing it! Cross my heart, and hope to fly. Stick a cupcake in my eye!” They sealed the deal by emulating the motions I had showed them. “Woohoo! Let’s go knock’em dead!” They ran towards the door to begin dragging it open.

“Ready?” I asked, turning to Morpheus.

“As ve’ll ever be.” He thrummed. “Ve just wish those foals Spi spied weren’t wearing Crusader capes.”

Wait. What? I hadn’t known that. I turned to stop Errant, but he was already through the door.

“Oh, no…”

Meeting the Town (Twilight) Part 3

Meeting the Town (Twilight) Part 2

I admit, I’m being a bit unfair. A bit of doom and gloom was entirely appropriate given how events unfolded, but I also think most of Morpheus’ and Webber’s projections were self-fulfilling prophecies. By readying themselves for the worst, all changelings involved met the worst possible scenario for their various missions.

“Woah.” My head reared back as we exited Castle. “That’s a lot of ponies.”

The not-quite-a-mob had grown since I’d looked out the window. The small group of timid townsfolk had grown to become a sizable portion of the town. Glancing about, I managed to find the girls scattered about, and Lyra and Bon Bon were waving to me from the back, but I wasn’t sure that would be enough back up if the crowd actually did panic.

Errant had slipped away into the crowd already, using my own entrance as a distraction. I barely caught a glint of black chitin being swallowed by the crowd before I was bombarded by everypony.

“Thank goodness, it’s Twilight.”

“Twilight?”

“Twilight!”

“Forget Twilight. That’s a changeling next to her!”

“The paper was right?”

“Why would we ever make peace with those monsters?”

“Maybe they’re not the same ones? They could be friendly.”

Then there were the reporters. Every paper from Manehatten to Las Pegasus must have wanted my side of the story, because the air was full of camera-toting pegasi. All of them swarmed upon seeing me – cameras flashing.

“Princess, how long have you secretly been spearheading the negotiations with changelings?”

“Is it true they no longer follow Queen Chrysalis?!”

“How are they eating while they stay with you?!”

“Do they pretend to be your coltfriend?”

“Do you have a secret dungeon full of criminals to feed them?!”

“Was the child that just snuck out of the castle your rumored secret lovechild, and is it true you’re dating a changeling?!” The reporter from earlier butted his way to the head of the flock.

The air around me was growing stuffy from all the photographs, and – while the townsponies were polite enough to talk civilly – the reporters were obnoxiously yelling at full volume as if more noise gave them a better chance of being noticed. It wasn’t long before my head was pound and the world started to spin. I felt weak in the knees, and felt the telltale signs of a panic attack crawling up my chest.

“Enough.” When Morpheus – who had been silent up until this point – spoke, the entire town fell silent. The fractured echo of his voice came from everywhere and nowhere, and when I turned to look at him I saw him clenching and unclenching the rods in his legs.

“Give her some space so she can actually answer your questions.” When the crowd backed down, he sighed and nodded to me.

“Thank you.” I smiled at him before turning to address the crowd. “Alright, everypony, here’s the facts. About half a month ago the ruler of the changelings came to us in secret hoping to negotiate for peace.” I gestured to Morpheus. “Prince Morpheus here has been living under my roof for the past few weeks as we tried to determine the sincerity of his goodwill, and I am personally willing to attest to his character. He is cut of a different cloth than his mother – Queen Chrysalis – and I sincerely hope that you are all above holding him and his species accountable for the actions of one changeling.”

There was murmuring amidst the crowd, but no pony spoke out. The reporters were busy taking notes, and my friends were weaving their way through the crowd to diffuse those who seemed on the edge of panic.

I finally caught sight of Errant again – surrounded by a group of foals in red capes. I couldn’t see what they were doing, but Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo were watching over them, and they gave me a wave as my gaze passed on by.

“That said, the reason for these negotiations – and even for the invasion – is that the changelings of the Hive of the First Father—" I looked to Morpheus. “Did I say that right?

He nodded.

“The changelings of the Hive of the First Father,” I continued, “are on the brink of starvation. I need you to understand this, because their actions were not born of malice, but confusion and desperation.” I sighed. “At least, that seems to be the case for the majority of changelings involved. They were frightened and scared because their entire way of life was threatened. For the past few thousand years they have tried to live secretly among us – only taking what they need – but that way of life has been unsustainable. They’ve slowly been dying off for years, because, when they are eventually discovered, they are met with anger, fear, and mistrust. The suspicion this generates is just as bad for the changelings as it is for us.”

Stepping closer to Morpheus, I put a foreleg over his shoulders. I looked out on the crowd trying to impress the fact that I was not scared onto them. “The changelings have run out of nations to hide in, and they can no longer remain myths and legends if they want to live. We are Equestrians, and we are known for our ability to forgive those who do us wrong. I cannot force you to do so, and I know many of you may be reluctant, but I ask everypony listening today to put aside your grievances to give the changelings a chance.”

I smiled at the crowd. “All they need is a friend willing to help them.”

There was silence except for the giggling of foals as they played with a ball. Then the applause started. It was quiet – a single pony, maybe two – but as the silence was broken it grew until the whole town was cheering me for my speech. I wanted to blush, but I forced myself not to with every iota of will I’d gained from my princess lessons.

“And how do we know you aren’t mind-controlled or a changeling in disguise?” Some of the reporters were much less impressed – the one that had ambushed my window earlier in particular.

The applause died in a heartbeat.

I glared at the reporter. “Really? You went from secret lovechild to changeling in disguise, just like that? I hate it when reporters do whatever it takes to get a bit of juicy gossip."

“That wasn’t a no.” He grinned as the murmuring increased.

I squinted for a second – a peculiar hunch striking me – before I laughed. “And that was the most changeling thing I’ve heard all day.”

“Excuse me?!” he huffed.

My horn lit up – just to be sure. I got a positive ping back and laughed again. “You forget I’ve been living with a changeling for the past few weeks. I’ve picked up on a few things.” Casting a dispelling enchantment, I watched the reporter’s disguise burn away.

“Oh, no. You found me, Your Highness…” Glaring around, he bared his fangs in a grin, and the crowd quivered on the brink of panic. His long tapered legs seemed almost like blades or stingers, and his long wings buzzed harshly. “Plan B it is, then."

He lunged towards me.

Ponies screamed.

I flinched.

And Hera came hurtling out of her disguise to pin the assailant before he could reach me.

Bladed legs failed to pierce her chitinous armor, and she turned his head farther than any head should go until there were cracks forming in the chitin. Turning, she looked to Morpheus. The Prince loomed – wings buzzing – for a very long time as the crowd and I held our breath. For an entire minute he stared, finally pulling in a deep ragged breath and shaking his head.

“No.”

Hera eased her grip slightly before slamming my assailants head into the ground – knocking him out.

“Oh, come on!”

I blinked, looking to another one of the reporters.

“I hand you the perfect opportunity to assert your rule, and still you decide to show mercy?!” A pillar of fire erupted around the pony to leave Chrysalis looming over everypony.

The screams were louder this time, and the Queen bared her fangs in a grin. “Really, maggot. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were going native. Too bad you’ve been weak and spineless since the moment I spawned you.” She cackled, and the ponies around us shivered – too terrified to run.

“Mother…” Morpheus hissed. “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be looking in the mirror for your reflection?”

“A vampony barb? Really?” Chrysalis’s grin grew. “I thought even you were more creative than that.”

“As if.” Morpheus sniffed, lifting his snout haughtily in the air. “You’re just too vain to realize the thing looking back at you is actually you.”

“I hope she knows a doctor because she just got burned.” Pinkie stage-whispered, causing the some of the townsponies to snicker.

“Silence!” Chrysalis stomped. “I came here to make a point, my little meals. Not everyling wishes for peace like my darling son here. Some – like that little insect of an infiltrator – wish only to feed off you all—" she licked her chops "—myself included.”

Several ponies fainted.

“Be careful who you trust, my little meals. It is only by my good grace – a gift for my son – that I stem the tide of dissenters.” She nodded to my assailant. “Remember well what lurks in the shadows, waiting to strike should you displease—"

A beach ball thwapped her in the face.

“Who is responsible for this?!” Chrysalis glared at the group of foals staring defiantly at her

“I am, you meanie!” The ball chirped before the illusion around it vanished to reveal a highly compressed Errant. “It’s changelings like you that make everypony scared of uncle Mo Mo when all he wants to do is help!”

“Oh, really?” Chrysalis cackled. “Uncle Mo Mo? Tell me, little nymph. What could your uncle Mo Mo possibly do to undo millennia worth of distrust and hatred?”

“I don’t know.” Errant smiled. “Why don’t you ask everypony else?”

The queen blinked, noticing for the first time that all the ponies cowed by her entrance were standing tall. Nostrils were flared. Hackles were raised. Ponies snorted and pawed at the ground.

All in defense of a nymph.

“Leave him alone!”

“Pick on somepony your own size!”

“Have you no shame?”

Above it all, Morpheus bared his fangs in a snarl. “I believe you’ve worn out your welcome, Mother – not that you had any to begin with.”

Chrysalis glared a moment before smiling viciously. “Like mother, like son. You’ll be tossed out of here by the end of the week – just you watch.” A fiery portal opened up beneath her and she sank – cackling – into the abyss.

“Just. You. Watch.”

As the portal closed, the crowd looked to me – anger dissipating into fear once more. I tried to smile encouragingly and failed. “Well, she certainly knows how to have the last laugh. I know you probably all have even more questions now, but I need to discuss this most recent development with the Prince here, and I’m sure you all need time to recover from that as well. Pinkie!”

“Yes, Twilight?” The pink party pony pronked before me.

“You know what to do.” I nodded.

“Aye, aye, Captain Sparkle!” She dashed off to go begin preparations.

I turned back to the crowd. “Please relax at Pinkie’s party while I sort things out here. I promise I’ll be along as quickly as possible.”

The crowd grumbled but relented – following the sound of rave music and the budding smell of freshly baking pastries. Errant and the foals ran past them all giggling, causing several adults to pick up the pace – lest they lose sight of the children.

My smile felt a little more real at the sight, but it faded as I turned to Morpheus and pulled him into Castle. “What the hay was that?!”

He thrummed. “I didn’t want to believe it, but Mother is actually playing both sides of the game.”

“I--- Wha--- Huh?!” I sputtered. “How can you--- I mean, she—"

“One of the greatest unifying factors in the world is a common foe.” He shrugged. “In terrifying the town, she allowed the townsponies to see me standing up to her. She allowed them to see Hera take down an assassin meant for you – their princess. It is not an action I support, but it is an effective tactic.”

I took a deep breath to try and settle my nerves. “And when she almost squashed Errant like a bug? I let him--- her--- them come out here. I was responsible for them.”

The Prince squirmed, looking to Castle where the others were watching from the window. “That… wasn’t going to happen.”

“How do you know?” I countered.

He sighed. “Because Mother was spoiling him.”

I blinked, opening my mouth once or twice before tilting my head to the side. “What?”

He tsked – an odd whistling click when tongue met chitin. “Mother has always respected those who openly oppose her even as she grinds them into dust. It’s a trait she tries to… encourage…. When Errant stood up to her, I tasted nothing but the electric tingle of pride emanating from her.”

“That—" I began.

“I know. I know.” He rolled his eyes. “It really sends mixed signals.”

“Urgh…” I began to massage my temples. “What do you suggest I do, then?”

“About Mother?” He tilted his head. “Nothing for now. She spins plans within plans within plans, and until ve know which side she is truly taking there is nothing we can do without potentially forcing her to play against us.” He shook his head and looked to Hera who was incarcerating my assailant in a cocoon. “It is far more important to deal with the other lords first. Doing so will prove my strength to Mother – hopefully circumventing any need to deal with her.”

“I don’t know….” I kicked the ground. “There must be something we can do.”

His eyes glossed over for a few seconds. “No. No. Trust me when ve say she’s the least of our worries. While she’s the biggest threat overall, it’s mostly in the long term. She won’t truly make a move until I have either proved myself to be a worthy adversary or proved myself to be someling so far beneath her station that I deserve to be ground into dust.”

“Wonderful….” I groused, pointing at the assassin. “What about him?”

"Well…” he hesitated, “...ve are honestly surprised he is only the first.”

“You mean we’ll have to deal with more of them?” Deep breaths. Deep breaths. No need to panic quite yet.

“Perhaps?” He furrowed his brow – little plates clicking together. “Hard to say. It depends on how truthful Mother was about stemming the tide of dissenters.”

“Great! Just, great!” I was smiling in a far too manic manner for a princess. “So what do we do with him.”

“We keep him prisoner. Maybe try to turn him.” The Prince shrugged. “It’s actually a blessing in disguise. I know this particular infiltrator. He’s been a suspected assassin of House Flynn for a long time. I finally have evidence with which to move on the other lords. Honestly, ve don’t know what they were thinking, but the new house head must have gotten cocky with his rise to power to send such an important asset on such a high risk mission.”

He nodded to Hera. “Notice that Hera doesn’t have a scratch on her? As soon as the infiltrator saw her, he changed gears again – submitted in the combat with nothing more than what was needed to save face. He knew he couldn’t directly outmatch a warrior, and running would only delay the inevitable after making such a bold move. He threw himself at my mercy knowing it was his only hope. He’ll probably sing like a canary for sparing him.”

He tsked – shaking his head. “Regardless, given his appearance as a reporter, plan A was probably to create confusion such that the crowd charged you themselves. He didn’t expect you to expose him so quickly, though. Plan B was to attack you directly because there were no other options with how quickly you responded.”

He smiled at me. “Good job with that, by the way. The other lords aren’t expecting for you to learn from me. Most of them still think of you as nothing more than prey, and ve fully intend to take advantage of that.”

“So we’re keeping somepony who tried to kill me in Castle.” I deadpanned.

“Yes….” He squirmed. “It’ll only be temporary unless he’s willing to become a full turn-coat.”

“Whatever….” I sighed. “I suppose we should get back to the town then. Unless there’s some new doomsday prophecy of Webber’s you’d like to share?”

“No…” his eyes glossed over, “...but Webber is highlighting the fact that he predicted a variant of our current circumstances in a passive aggressive attempt to say ‘I told you so.’”

“You mean you knew this was going to happen, and you didn’t tell me!” Time for the ‘To the Sun’ voice.

The ground quaked, and everypony--- everyling flew from their vantage points on the window to interpose themselves between me and Morpheus. Hera moved to loom above me with a very unconscious changeling gripped in her magic like a flail.

The Prince shooed them away with a wave of his hoof. “No. It was merely one possibility of many – a low chance one at that. If we had taken the time to tell all the specific ways events could have gone horribly wrong, then we would have been in Castle for hours letting the crowd fester.”

“But there’s that spell.” I glared. “The one that you showed me your first day that creates a temporary link to the hivemind? I know it can do more than let me taste emotions. Memory transfer. Web analysis. Anything you’ve told me you can do I should be able to do with it.”

“Ve didn’t think you’d want—"

“You thought wrong.” I growled. “If you all can honestly predict these kinds of events, I need to see them. I don’t want to get blindsided by Chrysalis like I just did.”

The Prince stared at me for a moment – eyes glossy – before bowing in the most grand, sweeping, and pompous matter possible. Tilting his head back up at me, he bared his fangs in a grin. “Understood, Your Highness. Ve believe you may be overestimating the precision of our predictions, but I am happy to oblige.”

I squinted. “Are you just trying to annoy me now?”

“Me? Never.” His fangs seemed to grow as they glinted in the sun. “There’s simply something enchanting to seeing you truly wearing the mantle of ruler.”

I slugged him slightly with a hoof. “Stop.”

He cackled. “Too much?”

“What do you think?” I punched him again – slightly harder this time.

He stuck an exceedingly long tongue out at me. “I think it’s the coltfriend’s job to tell his mare she’s pretty.”

“Morpheus!” I began to assault him with both wings and hooves.

“Alright! Alright! I get it! It was just a joke!” His echo was full of deep thrumming laughter. “And here I thought you wanted me and Webber to lighten up.”

“Not at the expense of my dignity!” I ruffled my wings as the Prince continued to laugh. As he struggled to regain his composure, I bent down to preen the few feathers that had been bent out of alignment. If only ignoring the others’ stares with my head in my wings would make them all disappear.

“This is… new…. I don’t think I’ve ever heard the boss laugh before.” Spi whispered far too loudly.

Hera grunted in response, and he shook his head. “Nope. That doesn’t count. He only giggled as a nymph. Giggles are not body shaking, gut wrenching, full belly laughs. This is a laugh. I mean, I will admit he occasionally chuckles or cackles now-a-days, yet what are chuckles but masculine giggles, and the less said about his cackling the better.”

“Ve… ve can’t find anything like it….” Webber murmured. “Ve’re going through all of our memories, and ve can’t find a single time.”

“You don’t think—" Spi began.

“It is not our place to think anything.” Hera droned.

Echo, Echoe, and Ekho chittered and tittered and whistled and whirred. “Yes,” they all chirped, “what is there to even think about?”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear any of that.” I grumbled as the final feather was straightened. “Pretty sure you all can tell we aren’t actually seeing each other.”

“Good.” Hera nodded. “As a royal, it’s your duty to ignore any incessant and inane chatter on our end – lest we foul your air with our language.”

I glared at the stoic warrior. “You see, I’d normally assume that was sarcasm, but I can’t actually tell if you’re joking.”

“Most likely a little of both columns A and B, knowing her.” Morpheus’ laughs had subsided to chuckles. “Forgive me, though. Ve honestly have no idea what I found so amusing.”

I squinted at him again, wings raised in warning. “Are you being serious?”

“Perhaps.” He grinned. “It could just be ve find my jokes utterly tasteless. I got no cotton candy from that coltfriend jab, after all.”

Meeting the Town (Twilight) Part 4

Meeting the Town (Twilight) Part 3

This was my first interaction with a hostile changeling other than Chrysalis since the wedding, and I wasn’t sure what to feel. He had tried to kill me, and, yet, no matter how terrifying that was I didn’t want him dead – or worse.

I had to stick with Morpheus to see what he would do. It had nothing to do with trust. I had faith he would do what was right in the end. I just needed to make sure he didn’t confuse the right thing with the practical thing – or worse, some needlessly over complicated changeling thing – at first.

It felt like pins and needles were pricking my frogs as I bounced nervously behind Morpheus, Spi, and Hera. They were dragging my assailant along – not carrying, dragging – looking for an appropriate cell. They poked into room after room only to reject them all – each refusal fueling my anxiety. As they turned down another room, I couldn’t take it anymore and began to hover behind them just so I would stop tap dancing through the halls.

“Do we need to do this now?” I winced at the sound of chitin scraping over crystal.

“You don’t.” Morpheus flicked his wings. “Ve, however, believe I should be present to send a message to him that I am not one to sit idly by when others threaten the progress we’ve made.”

Groaning, I rubbed the base of my horn with my frog. “I can’t just leave to go help Spike handle the rest of the town when it sounds like you’re planning on torturing him….”

Morpheus snorted, poking his head into another room. “Torture is never a good way to extract information. Victims are liable to— Really, more windows?! Castle?! Can you please give us a suite without windows? I get you want to be an excellent host, but windows just provide escape routes.” He sighed. “We need a nice room without windows so we can keep him trapped inside you until we know what to do with him.”

The lights flickered and we found ourselves in a long hallway straight from a Daring Do novel -- fire-breathing statues, lava pits, swinging bladed pendulums, even ceiling crocodiles. The rumbling of rolling boulders could be heard approaching us from behind.

“Yes. Yes. You’re not a prison. No need to get snippy.” Morpheus rolled his eyes. “All we need is a room with no windows for him to stay in. He’ll be free to wander as long as you don’t let him leave.”

The lights flickered again to remove the traps between us and the door.

“My Lord,” Hera began, “ve don’t believe that is a good idea.”

Spi arched an eyebrow. “Neither is arguing with a giant intelligent castle capable of warping reality as it sees fit.”

Hera’s wings buzzed as she turned to Spi. “The castle is a known ally who is unlikely to turn on us. The prisoner is an unknown entity until interrogation. Giving him free reign of the castle is entirely out of the question.”

Spi started to hiss a response, but Morpheus interrupted with a harsh clicking tsk. “Enough, the both of you. I am not planning on giving our prisoner free reign – merely an illusion of comfort and control. Ve are confident Castle will lead him indefinitely in circles should he try to escape.”

I scrunched my face. “You know, if you want him to feel comfortable, you might want to stop dragging him on the floor?”

The prince blinked. “But that’s tradition.”

“What?” My face caved in a little more, and I stumbled mid hover as my wings skipped a beat.

Morpheus thrummed. “There’s a fine, well-established, line one must walk when dealing with prisoners. Ve must be stiff and unyielding, yet impeccably accommodating. Our strength must not be in doubt, and our control must be undisputed. However, at the same time, ve must show compassion, honor, and integrity. Ve must be quite the quintessential host even as we bring down an iron hoof, because, as I was saying earlier, torture is a horribly inefficient way to gather information. By treating our prisoner as more than a pawn – and expressing our complete control of the situation – he will be much more likely to give us what we want."

He cackled. “Of course, said compassion is mostly an act for the other lords, but it is an appreciable set of traditions nonetheless.” Reaching the room at the end of the hall, he poked his head in. “Ah! Perfect!”

There was a noticeable thunk from the assassin as he was dragged across the threshold from a bump on the floor that had no business being there. The poor thing hissed – proving he was not as unconscious as I thought – so I glared at the ceiling, because, of course, Castle just had to play along.

Unlike most of the guest rooms, this one was already well furnished. Not that the others weren’t furnished, but there was an added layer of care to the room. It had several book cases with books and a fireplace complete with knickknacks on the mantle and merrily crackling flames. Silk-lined cushions rested near the warmth of the fire, and my frogs melted as they felt the inequine softness of the rugs.

“Rugs? I rarely get any rugs. Oh, sweet Celestia, these are soft… Why don’t I get rugs like this in my room?” I shuddered. “I mean, Castle, where did you even get these?”

The lights flickered and I snatched Castle’s reply from the air. “Forgive me, mistress, but I am not actually sure of the origin of these rugs. I was rummaging through my storage and noticed I’d grown a few extra rooms. One of them was a trophy room filled with the exquisite fur rugs you’re currently standing on. If I had to guess, they are only slightly likely to be real, and I’d assume they are meant to add ambiance to any prizes the griffons bring back from hunts – assuming you ever entertain any griffons. —Friendship Castle”

I froze at the word fur, but relaxed as I finished the rest of the note. Summoning my notes on Castle, I quickly wrote a reminder to look into his apparent ability to grow before banishing them and returning my attention to the room.

Our guest had been dumped into one of the chairs and was currently having his wounds – minor as most of them looked – tended to by Hera. She was covering the small cracks in his chitin with a green mud-like compound before bandaging them in teal silk.

“Umm… Why the bandages?” I tilted my head to the side. “He’s not exactly bleeding from any of those.”

“Stops outside interference with the carapace cement. Without them he’d need to hold still almost the entire time.” Hera grunted as she critically examined the prisoner. Her eyes narrowed at a particularly nasty looking web of cracks on his face from where she had slammed his head into the ground, and both she and her charge hissed when she tentatively poked it – a larger chunk of chitin falling to the floor as the last few flakes holding it in fell apart. There were bits of flesh attached to it, and verdant emerald blood trickled from the wound.

Hera bowed her head. “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to actually break anything.” She hacked and horked before exhaling a soft green mist over the wound.

“By the Azure Veil, that stings!” The infiltrator hissed through his teeth, wings whining as he tried to keep his head still.

“Of course it does.” Lacing the wound with a light layer of cement, Hera gently placed the chunk back in – placing a second outer layer, and carefully patching a bandage over it.

Standing back, she bowed to Morpheus – who had been watching silently as he lounged in another chair. “That should do it, My Lord.”

The rods in Morpheus’ legs drummed into and out of place as he continued to stare at the changeling in front of him, brow furrowed. “Where to begin, then?” He nodded his head. “I suppose I should begin by making it clear that cooperation on your part will make things easier for the both of us. I understand that you will want to guard your lord’s secrets, but surely you can understand that loyalty to the hive supersedes that of loyalty to your lord. Your actions today – whatever your orders truly were – have potentially caused great harm to the hive’s future.”

The prisoner stared at the prince for a minute with glassy eyes, and I looked between the two of them, shuffling from hoof to hoof. Hera stood to the side, stoic and ready to intervene, while Spi stood near the door.

When no answer was forthcoming, Morpheus continued. “Ah, but where are my manners… Would you care for something to drink?”

The lights flickered and a small cloth covered table with a menu appeared.

Our guest looked at it questioningly before picking up the menu. As he browsed it, his brow arched in surprise. “Quite the selection you have here, but I’ll be fine with water.”

A flicker of the lights heralded the drink as Morpheus took the menu. “Hmm… Tempting to take the Berrysweet Bitters… Ve recall that brand being exceptionally excellent, but I shouldn’t indulge so heavily on the job. I suppose I’ll take water as well.” He lifted the menu as the lights flickered again. “Anyling else?” He nodded to me. “Twilight?”

I shook my head while the others seemed to ignore the offer.

Sighing, the prince set the menu down and took a tentative sip of his water. With a frown he looked to the assassin again. “Alright, on to the basics. For the sake of Princess Twilight Sparkle, would you care to introduce yourself?”

The infiltrator stood and bowed to me. “Silvertongue Wyrman Flynn, your highness.”

I took a step back, face wrinkling at all the formality. “You’re… bowing to me? After what you pulled in the courtyard?”

Wyrman bared his fangs in a grin as he sat down once more. “It is only polite to show respect – regardless of whether or not you are prey. I regret ignoring the proper formalities earlier, but the success of my mission hinged on the surprise you cost me. I simply had no time for manners when the only option you left me was to attempt to brutally rip your throat out.”

Morpheus snorted as I squirmed under Wyrman’s gaze. “Yes. Yes. Your mission. Ve are quite curious what your master was thinking sending you of all changelings on such a suicidal task. You are a Silvertongue, after all.”

Wyrman turned to the prince, grin widening. “Well, if you’re so interested in my job, why don’t you tell me about yours? You surely can’t expect everyling to believe your progress is natural – that changelings and ponies can really be friends after a few weeks.”

He glanced at me briefly. “Be honest, has she tasted of your venom? That’s the least troublesome of rumors surrounding you two.”

The prince briefly exploded in an emerald blush. As it faded, his wings buzzed harshly, and the prince stood to loom over the infiltrator. “Ve— I— You— I am not like my mother! Ve suppose next you’ll ask if I brainwashed her?!”

“That is next on the list, yes.”

Despite the leer, the rest of Wyrman’s posture was relaxed. It had me wonder whether or not he was actually trying to smile so… provocatively. I knew enough of Morpheus’ grins to tell there wasn’t any malice to the grin. At least, I thought there wasn’t. But there was simply something unsettling about, and I couldn’t help but shudder at his words.

Morpheus had mentioned his venom once. It was a powerful semi-addictive aphrodisiac that could be used to quiet questions and make somepony much more… willing to cooperate… or give information… or even provide a meal….

Just a little loving nibble or bite on the ear and…

I shook my head to rid myself of those thoughts. “Why is it so hard to believe Morpheus and I are friends? You can taste emotions. You must be able to sense it.”

“Forgive me, your highness, but your emotions are not exactly the most reliable source of info if he’s influencing you.” Wyrman chuckled darkly.

“Well then, just look at Mo’s emotions.” I frowned and gestured towards the prince.

Wyrman laughed. “Mo? I must admit to being curious now, but ve could never impede upon the privacy of a lord. It simply wouldn’t be proper – worm that I am.”

Morpheus’ frown deepened into a scowl. “And what if I ordered you to do so?”

Wyrman tilted his head. “Ve suppose I’d have to then, not that you ever—”

“Do it.” Morpheus ground his fangs as he hissed the word out.

Wyrman blinked – haws opening and closing for once. “Pardon?”

“Do. It.” Morpheus flicked his wings several times, almost but not quite beginning to buzz them. “I am sick and tired of all this nonsense about how it is improper for the so-called lower castes—” he hissed the words as if they burned “—to talk to their narcissistic superiors. Not counting the nymphs, it has been years since I’ve had a proper heart to heart with a changeling. It’s easier for me to get a conversation out of a pony for hive’s sake.”

The prince barely seemed to notice Wyrman wincing at the word ‘pony.’ “With the First Father as my witness, I will not stand for it any longer! I will end this ridiculous tradition even if I need to order you all to open up to me!”

Wyrman squirmed in his chair – wriggling deeper and deeper into the seat as he slowly collapsed in on himself. All confidence was gone from his demeanor. “Are you positive, My Lord….”

Morpheus sighed. “Do it…. If my memories in the hivemind are not enough, perhaps tasting of my feelings directly shall settle this issue.”

There was a pause as Morpheus and Wyrman stilled. It was a horribly awkward pause – knowing they were talking in a manner I wasn’t sure I’d ever comprehend. I had faith in Morpheus, but I would have been lying if I said it didn’t bother me that I couldn’t know what truly passed between them.

It must have been something good though, because Wyrman started chuckling. The chuckling thrum expanding to chortling only to keep going into a full-belly laugh. He clutched his sides as he sank into the chair once more – in obvious joy this time – and I smiled.

“You... You…” Wyrman tried to speak and failed amidst his laughter. “Oh, My Lord—” he bowed his head “—I think I may have a most agreeable proposition for you.”

Morpheus arched an eyebrow. “Strange words for one in your position, yet stranger still is the taste of such warming conviction. Should ve be worried by all the steel amidst your sunshine?”

“No, My Lord, for you have given an old changeling hope.” Wyrman’s grin was much more friendly this time.

My brow furrowed. Old? He didn’t look old, and he certainly didn’t sound it.

Morpheus gazed at the infiltrator for a long while, eyes glassy. “Hope, you say? Such a curious choice of words.”

The infiltrator chuckled. “I spent many years among ponies before my current position. Certain habits rub off.”

The prince’s glassy-eyed stare hardened. “Do tell.” The rods in his hooves began drumming again -- holes opening and closing.

Wyrman breathed deeply. “I, Silvertongue Wyrmen Flynn, do serve Lord Exodus Flynn in the harsh judging light of day. I am an assassin of the highest caliber, ordered to end Her Royal Highness, Princess Twilight Sparkle’s, life, yet, when day turns to night, I am merely a father.” He closed his eyes. “My son, Beatlegeuse, has recently emerged from his Chrysaling as a lord. He idolizes you, Lord Morpheus, and your desire for peace. Ve had had our doubts, but now…”

He hissed and clicked a few words in Chitri. “The foal. He didn’t know what he was getting into. Neither of us did. With no proper lineage, he has no other option than to let his betters—” he spat the word “—skitter all over him.”

He grimaced, looking down. “I am no better off. Ve realized a long time ago that, if I was to provide my son the chance of being a lord, sacrifices would need to be made. I have spilt much blood – too much blood.”

With a wistful sigh he shook his head. “This mission was to be my… penance, shall we say…. Murder the princess, pay off my debts in full, then pass the Azure Veil to receive whatever punishment may await me for my actions.”

I shuddered at his words. Spi hissed at the implications, while Hera’s stoic glower became a glare. Morpheus simply drummed his hooves more -- haws closed -- gazing on with an inscrutable face, and it was slightly unnerving to see him so… emotionless.

The prince took another sip of water. “Something changed, though, ve take it? You hardly put up a fight.”

Wyrman bit his chops, nodding to Morpheus. “I suppose you could say my heart just wasn’t in it after seeing the Princess for myself. She was so sincere that I couldn’t help but chance that maybe you were just as sincere.” His wings gave a little chirp. “I am… pleasantly surprised that our misgivings were unfounded”

“And your proposal?” Morpheus thrummed.

Wyrman bowed his head. “My life to be yours, completely and utterly, if you give my son the chance he deserves. After all, you will need to appoint a new head of House Flynn after moving on Exodus.”

Morpheus stood, looming over the infiltrator in silence for a moment. The drumming from his hooves accelerated to a manic pitch only to leave us in sudden silence. Still he stared, until the subject of his gaze began to squirm, but in the end he bared his fangs in a grin and held his hoof out to the changeling.

“It seems Mother wished to send me a boon after all, then. Show me your son yourself – memories straight from the source – and perhaps we will have a deal.”

Summer's End (Morpheus) Part 1

Meeting the Town (Twilight) Part 4

Truth is, I had been so busy worrying about how Morpheus would handle the situation that I kind of forgot to deal with it myself. Given enough time, though, it was inevitable that it’d occur to me just what had happened that day.

Wyrman had accompanied us at Morpheus’ request as we walked back into Ponyville – hooves clip-clopping on cobblestones. Hera lurked behind us, a titanous beige pegasus once more, and stoically glowered at Morpheus – who was himself – frustrated that he refused to disguise himself on the way to Pinkie’s party. I would have smiled at that if it weren’t for the fact his stabilization rods were clenching open and closed in what was clearly nervousness.

Well, that and the fact that I was preoccupied with watching Wyrman. He didn’t look that threatening back in his pegasus form – status as part of the paparazzi aside – but I couldn’t help but shiver as I recalled him lunging for me.

Only a shiver.

It was odd, really. It hadn’t really sunk in yet – the fact that he tried to kill me. Maybe it never would. Part of me knew I should be panicking. Part of me wanted to panic. Every time I had been about to start, though, I remembered Hera blazing into action. I remembered Morpheus’ stare as he passed judgement on my assailant – my assailant – and my fear just kind of died.

Without a shadow of doubt, I knew he would do anything to keep me safe.

I snorted at the thought. No. That wasn’t fair to him or Hera. The warrior had been the one to actually save me. And Morpheus… Morpheus would do everything in his power to guarantee everypony’s safety – even my assailant’s.

Now the infiltrator was following us, whistling without a care in the world. He even grinned as he noticed me watching him. It was the half-grin half-frown of somepony who knew too much for their own good.

Perhaps we were being too lenient? As much as I enjoyed happy endings, we were dealing with somepony that had wanted to kill me. He hadn’t even planned to jump me originally – just whip the crowd into a frenzy and let them handle me.

No. No. Forgiveness was key, forever and always. It wasn’t like I had objected back at Castle or anything. There was no reason to let him get to me now.

Other than the fact that he tried to kill me.

“Twilight, are you alright?”

I flinched at the cool sensation of chitin prodding me, only to realize it was Morpheus. His ear tubes splayed backwards at my reaction, and – without really thinking – I hugged him. He tried to shrink away from the contact, but I just hugged harder.

“I… I just think it’s all finally hitting me….” I mumbled with my face in his mane, trying not to shiver for Morpheus’ sake.

It was... easier than I thought it would be. At my admission, Morpheus had stopped pulling back. He had moved forward, in fact – his head coming to rest atop my own as I tried to express the confusing jumble of feelings brewing in me.

Somepony— No, someling. Someling had tried to kill me. It wasn’t even some all-powerful, megalomaniacal, lord in a climactic battle to determine the fate of Equestria – just a simple father who wanted the best for his son.

Something about that was terrifying on an entirely different level. It was like… It was like I was the bad guy…. Because ordinary ponies don’t step up to stop good guys.

It was a ridiculous, illogical fear, and I knew it, but I didn’t know what else to feel. I couldn’t be mad at Wyrman, and it felt wrong to blame the lords because they didn’t know any better. There was no use pitying Wyrman’s son, because I couldn’t really do anything about that other than trust Morpheus to make things right.

If anything, I should have been happy. Today was a big day. Morpheus had made so much progress, and we should have been celebrating it. I shouldn’t need to worry about assassins or explain things to the town. By Celestia, the town. It irked me that I might have been as nervous as the rest of Ponyville was originally, but I supposed I was becoming biased after spending so much time with Morpheus.

Speaking— Thinking? Thinking of which, I was still hugging Morpheus, wasn’t I?

He was thrumming as I leaned into him – my thoughts a whirl – and I could feel the vibrations of his voice traveling through me as a medium. There was a slight tingle of magic in the air as he cast a spell, and, glancing out from our embrace, I was thankful to see it was a privacy screen.

“Let it all out, Twilight.” His wings chirped a haunting melody reminiscent of a violin. “We’ll take all the time you need.”

“I’m sorry….” I muttered. “You must think I’m such a mess right now….”

“It happens.” Morpheus gave me a small squeeze. “Remember when I met your friends? You didn’t think any less of me for my breakdown, and that was way worse. Trust me on that. Besides, you should have seen me after the first time an assassin tried to kill me.”

Chitinous plates rippled and clicked as he chuckled – leaving the odd sensation of something that was not-quite a massage dancing across my coat. His laughter grew as I wordlessly hummed my curiosity, turning the massage into the feeling one gets from the pitter-patter of rain falling on them.

“It was a time so dark and scary~” He whispered.

“Nary a sound in the dead of night~” Hera followed without hesitation.

“Only a few months spent a lord~” The Prince sighed, wings weaving a small melody.

“Rivals sought to prove their might~” Hera’s tone rang firm.

“Oh, how naive of me to think myself free-e-ee~ Of the tangled web of politics and tea-e-ea~” the lord sang softly. “A poisoned cup, meant for Mother’s throne~ Turned my chitin the pale white of bone~” His echo fractured just a tiny bit. “And were it not for the frantic flight of friends~ I may have met a rather grisly end~”

“I’d never thought I’d fly so fast before~” Hera now sang with but a whisper. “My Lord raced me to the threshold of death’s door~ A minute more, he’d have passed the Azure Veil~ And so I swore to make sure he’d always prevail~ My life was his from that point on in time~ My Chrysaling assured I’d never leave his side~”

Morpheus sighed as it ended – his breath rushing down the back of my neck. My ear flicked at the ticklish sensation, and I giggled. I didn’t know why he hated singing so much when he had such a wonderful voice. Something about it could send shivers down the spine. The good kind of shivers. The warm tingly shivers of hot tea on a cold winter’s night. Or maybe spiced apple cider rather than tea for that last song. It made me sniff at it – strong and sad as it was – even as it brought a smile to my face.

“Five days without a single problem….” He thrummed, pulling his head back to look at me. “I guess it was worth it, if it got you to smile, though.” He tried to grin and only partly succeeded. “Back when it happened, I woke up to find Mother biting off the head of the infiltrator responsible – berating him for being so careless—” his voice shifted to that of Chrysalis “—‘a weak, unworthy, spineless adversary who will never see the light of day again.’”

He chuckled. “Ve had nightmares for weeks – endlessly horrifying simulations as ve ruminated over all the awful ways I could die. Couldn’t get an ounce of rest until Hera emerged because my body kept trying to enter the fight or flight response for threats that only existed in our head.”

He nodded to Hera, who was politely looking for threats everywhere that wasn’t me and Morpheus. “When she finished her Chrysalling, she fairly tore her way out of the cocoon and demanded Mother make her my guard – even held me that first night, despite probably every new instinct she had screaming at the impropriety.”

“You… needed me… My Lord….” Hera slowly ground out the words, painfully trying to keep up her stoic facade.

“I did.” Morpheus smiled. “Having a friend with me kept the nightmares away.” The smile turned into a frown. “Really makes me wonder why we distanced ourselves from each other. It was tradition, ve suppose, but, really, we were idiots to do so.”

He shook his head and turned back to me. “The point is, I don’t think any less of you for freaking out about this. If anything, I’m impressed at how well you’re doing so far. I don’t mean to offend, but ponies are known for being rather skittish.”

I grinned, finally pulling out of his embrace. “And you changelings are a pessimistic bunch.” Taking a deep breath, I went through Cadance’s breathing exercise to make sure I was well and truly calmed down. “Are you sure we can trust him, though?” I nodded to Wyrman. “I don’t mean to question your decisions, but…” I bit my lip.

Wyrman bowed low – groveled, really. “I am as indebted to you, Princess, as I am to Prince Morpheus – perhaps more so as your throat was the one my fangs were meant to pierce. If you so wish it, I would happily end myself to comfort you, for there is nothing that could ruin the joy filling my heart at the fact that my son will truly have a chance to fulfill his purpose soon.”

“No! No! No!” I shook my head quickly. “I would never want you to do that. Don’t even think it!”

Morpheus sighed. “And that is why we can trust him. Were you expecting something different after everything ve’ve told you?”

“I didn’t think…” I frowned, trailing off. Shaking my head, I decided not to let it get to me. This was supposed to be a happy day – full of celebration – and I wasn’t going to let anything else get in the way of that.

“Whatever, my mistake. Thanks for the privacy spell. I hope nopony else saw us before it went up, though. There are probably enough rumors as it is.”

“She says while dating the changeling prince.” Morpheus rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry. Everypony is at Pinkie’s party waiting for an explanation.”

Wyrman’s haw clicked open and closed, causing the Prince to cackle. “Oh, right. You don’t know about my marefriend, do you? Long story short: we aren’t actually dating – it’s just a very complicated scheme where we pretend we are to get her friends off her back.”

Wyrman quickly regained his composure. “Just another day at the hive, then, sir?”

“If only the lords kept their schemes to such mundane affairs.” Morpheus chuckled.

I slugged him lightly in the shoulder. “Make fun of it all you want, Mo, but it works, and I know you’ve had as much fun as I’ve had on our ‘dates’ so far.”

“Whatever you say, milady.” He bowed, and I thwapped him with a wing. “Shall we get going, then?”

He lowered the privacy screen as I smiled in response. For the first time today, things felt alright. All I had left to do was finish introducing everyling to the town. Surely, that would be a breeze after everything else – especially with my number one assistant already on the job.

When we walked into town hall, I wasn’t sure what to expect. There was no doubt in my mind that Spike and the others were up to the task of handling the town, but with the way things had gone earlier, that could mean anything from answering curious questions to quelling mindless panic. Like Morpheus had said, ponies are skittish sometimes, so it wouldn’t have surprised me to walk in on the typical flower trio freak out.

The scene that met me as we entered town hall brought another smile to my face.

The Echo triplets were doubling down on their game from the day before – four Rainbow Dashes trying to out brag each other in an attempt to prove themselves the most awesome of flyers to a crowd of ponies, while the rest of the girls were out mingling, probably looking to see who had concerns. Spike fairly flew from pony to pony, no doubt for much the same reasons, and I couldn’t help but giggle at his enthusiasm. Number one assistant indeed.

Errant was gallivanting about with that group of crusaders from earlier. Every so often he’d shift into a ball when one of the others caught him – getting passed from foal to foal while chittering like mad – and the crusaders giggled and squealed in mirth at the odd combination of tag and catch.

Their parents – as well as Webber and the original Cutie Mark Crusaders – chatted as they looked on to make sure everything was alright. Webber’s eyes kept glassing over in the telltale sign of digging through the hivemind as they asked him what was assuredly the kind of concerned questions any parent or caretaker might have.

What really drew my eyes, though, was the large group of ponies surrounding Lyra and Bon Bon – Lyra sans her disguise laying on the floor next to her fiancé.

“And then, after nipping her ears, I nibble her neck a little and Sweetie Dee just melts like chocolate.” Lyra chittered, entwining her neck with Bon Bon’s and giving an affectionate bite to her ear.

“You make it sound like I’m trapped in your web.” Bon Bon giggled and snuggled closer to her mate.

Lyra pecked her fiancé on the lips. “But you are trapped in my web, Sweetie – just as I am trapped in yours. Two lovers bound by fate and destiny to be forever wrapped in the other’s silken charms.”

The crowd murmured excitedly at the sight, couples sharing knowing looks and young fillies sighing longingly – some glancing furtively around the room for that one pony they had their eye on.

Bon Bon nickered contentedly, nuzzling her partner. “So you’re like the poets of old now? The Lyra I know hates that kind of stuff. Says those uptight snobs need a mare to brown-nose literally rather than metaphorically.” She giggled again. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were replaced with a pony.”

There were some hesitant chuckles from the crowd at that. Stepping up to them all, I smiled at the brides-to-be. “So you told everypony the good news, I take it?”

Lyra nodded. “Yeah, it seems to be going over as well as could be expected, Glitter Flanks.”

I nodded to her. “Then I can officially congratulate you on your engagement.”

Lyra and Bon Bon both winced at the sudden silence that descended. “Oh, geeze, I meant I told them I was in a relationship with Bonnie – not that we’re engaged. I mean, do you want everypony to have a heart attack? Try to have some tact, Twily. The town has got enough on its plate as it is.” For once, Lyra’s words rushed out of her mouth.

“Whoops… Heh, heh…” I laughed nervously at the rush of whispers that suddenly broke everypony else’s silence. “I didn’t mean to let the cat out of the bag.”

What to do. What to do? What to do?! I didn’t know what to do.

“Lyra Heartstrings, how could you?!”

I blinked at the sudden interjection of Rarity – like silver bells scraping down a blackboard. The fashionista was walking through the crowd in a huff, gaze burrowing into Lyra who tried to wriggle deeper into Bon Bon’s embrace.

“How could you not tell moi about your voyage de noces?!”

What? Rarity already knew about the engagement. For Celestia’s sake, she went with me to Lyra’s hive. Despite that, however, the unicorn was strutting up to Lyra as if she’d committed some unspeakable offense.

“I’ve had your wedding gowns and more prepared for years, and this is how you repay me? Keeping you engagement a secret for Celestia knows how long? Don’t you have any trust in me?”

Morpheus hissed silently besides me. “Oh… She’s scary good.”

Blinking, I looked to Hera and Wyrman, who were nodding. “What?”

Spi dropped down from parts unknown, making me almost jump out of my skin. “Ah! Where did you come from?!”

Ignoring me, he looked to Morpheus. “She’s quite the web weaver, ain’t she, boss?”

Morpheus nodded. “Quite.”

“Seriously, where did you come from?” I made the mistake of tuning out Rarity as I poked the infiltrator for answers.

“It’s better you not know.” He waved dismissively. “I need some secrets, after all. Now, shush, or we’ll miss the best part.”

I grumbled to myself, but turned my attention back to Rarity.

“I mean, we are Ponyvillians! We won’t just turn our backs on you because you want a wedding. Am I right?!”

The ponies surrounding Lyra and Bon Bon whinnied and stomped in approval.

“See, darlings?” Rarity was suddenly all sugar and smiles, voice barely heard above the crowd. We’re all here to give you the best wedding anypony has ever had.” She tittered before turning to saunter away. “And I will make sure to see that you get it.”

Lyra, Bon Bon, and I watched her go in befuddlement. Lyra in particular was clicking her haws open and closed as if she couldn’t believe what had just happened.

“Well…” She licked her chops. “I owe you an apology, Glitter Flanks. Ve had no idea Rarity was so magnificently evil. I should never have made those jokes about you and Widowmaker, there.”

“Widowmaker?!” Morpheus snorted. “Please, Mother’s the Black Widow, not me.”

Lyra laughed a slow, pleasing, legato melody. “Would you prefer Studmuffin?~”

“You are impossible!” The Prince blushed a verdant green – whether in frustration or embarrassment I couldn’t tell.

“Don’t bother….” I sighed, patting Morpheus on his withers. “It’s impossible to stop her when she starts. Just be thankful you aren’t Glitter Flanks.”

Turning back to Lyra I smiled. “Thanks, though. The apology means a lot.” I coughed. “Even if Mo and I are seeing each other now.”

“By the First Father, did you not learn the first time?!” Morpheus hissed as the group surrounding the brides-to-be turned like sharks smelling blood. The reporters talking to my friends grabbed their cameras, turning as one to stampede toward the newest story of the century, while Wyrman laughed.

“Forgive me, mistress, but at least you aren’t harboring a secret changeling lovechild.”

I glared at the infiltrator. “Not. Funny.”

“Look out, below!” Errant’s shrill whistling whir accompanied a small chitinous mass colliding with my face. Sliding down slightly, they snapped back into position, and I sighed – recognizing the horribly well-known feeling of tree-sap making the little nymph cling to my fur.

“The curse continues to spread….” I mock groaned – sad yet glad for the distraction. Morpheus was dealing with the crowd. Maybe. It was hard to tell with my eyes squinted almost all the way shut and a changeling covering my face.

Still, that was no reason to be rude. “Hello, Errant. I see you’ve been initiated into the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”

“Yeah!” They chirped, the giggling of other foals signaling their comrades approach. “No idea if I can get a Cutie Mark, though.”

“That’s okay!” One of the foals – a colt – seemed to be hovering next to me. Tiny hooves reached around the chitinous mass on my face and pulled, making the most adorable little, squeaky, grunts. “That just means we get to try everything!”

“Like hang gliding!”

“Roller derby!”

“Mountain climbing!”

“Tiger taming!”

“Shh!” The foals hissed after that last one. “Scootaloo made us promise not to tell the grown ups that one, dumb dumb!”

I couldn’t help but giggle. “I won’t tell, promise.” Scootaloo had, after all, already carefully outlined to me all the safety features that would be in place when asking permission for that little stunt.

With a sickly splorch, Errant broke free from my face. Giggling and chittering, the nymph and other foals left to carry on with their game.

“Sorry, Princess!” A filly waved to me as she ran off. “We’ll be more careful next time!”

I waved back, casting a minor spell to clean the gunk from my fur. I had gotten used to the Crusaders rather sticky adventures long ago in Twilight Time, but gosh if I was going to stay sticky any longer than necessary. With a smile on my face, however, I turned to finally deal with the rest of the press.

“And so I can assure you, gentlecolts,” Morpheus softly thrummed to the rapt reporters, “that while I’m not at liberty to discuss whether or not Twilight and I engage in sexual intercourse – maintaining her virtue and honor and all that – ve can assure you that when and if we do so, she will be a very happy mare. After all, it would be folly of us not to have any notes on the fine arts of seduction and love making in the hivemind – physical intimacy being a key component of any pony relationship.”

“Discord, damn it all.” I muttered, glancing back to the foals to make sure they hadn’t heard. “It’s the trip to Rarity’s all over again.”

I shuddered and forced myself to smile, causing the Prince to glance at me worriedly. At least I knew he wasn’t actually serious. I just had to smile, wave, and try not to think about everypony silently judging me. With any luck, I’d be answering actual legitimate questions about changelings before sundown.

Maybe ‘dating’ him wasn’t as good an idea as I thought.

I gently rested my head on my desk, trying in vain not to read the letter before me.

“My dear friend, Twilight. It’s not my place to tell you who to have a relationship with, but I’d appreciate if you could convince Morpheus to have a bit more tact in the future. The hivemind may present an interesting opportunity in private, but trust me when I say that it’s important to keep such matters as private as possible. Ponies talk – reporters even more so – and being so blunt can cause much undue stress down the line. Regardless, congrats on finally finding a coltfriend. I know from your reports just how good of a changeling he is. —Your friend, Celestia.”

I shuddered in embarrassment, a copy of the rushed evening release of the Canterlot Times and several other newspapers on my desk. Slowly, inevitably, my gaze passed over the last line of the letter.

“P.S. I don’t know if they still number their positions, but I suggest position number eighty-seven.”

Once more I shuddered.

Too. Much. Information.

At least the rest of the town seemed to have forgotten to freak out about the changelings with all the new gossip. I glanced to some of the other papers. Other cities? Not so much.

I sighed. “We’ve still got our work cut out for us, don’t we, guys?”

“You think?” Spike snorted as Morpheus gave a wordless thrum, staring glassy-eyed at the newspapers. With a scrabble of claws, Spike jumped down from his seat to head for the door. “I’ll go get the all-nighter coffee.” He turned back, arching an eyebrow. “Unless you just want to relax with some tea or something?”

“Either’s fine, Spike.” I groaned. “You decide.”

“Tea it is.” He shrugged. “You just worry about relaxing for a bit.”

So, yeah. The reveal was a tense day, to say the least. At least the town seemed to enjoy it at the end. Still, life went on. It’s… difficult to describe the time that followed. It was just everyday life with a twist, really. There were ups and downs, good and bad. I honestly have no idea where to begin, so you might want to talk with Morpheus.

Summer's End (Morpheus) Part 2

Summer's End (Morpheus) Part 1

Changing Times’ Notes: Everypony needs a break every now and then. Changelings perhaps need them more than others. Their access to the hivemind can constantly wear at them, providing a lot of unnecessary worrying.

Ironically, it can be quite difficult for them to perceive this. They can become so used to the stress of juggling hundreds of possibilities that such a state is seen as the norm, and, thus, not something in need of alleviation. This problem can, in fact, become so rooted in the analysts and lords that they continue to worry and weigh possibilities in even the happiest of times.

As you might guess from the reports so far, Morpheus was one to fall into this category. He assures me he’s better about it – or at least he tries to be better about it – but I sometimes wonder if he really means that or if it’s just a cover to stop us from worrying about him.

Summer’s End: A Report by Morpheus of House Sicadia

The Summer’s End Festival was an interesting event. Such festivities were not commonplace in the hive, so it was my first real experience with such a mundane holiday celebration. Ve had memories in the archives, of course, but they did not capture the true essence of the festival – colored by their owners biases as they were.

The late afternoon sun tried to cast its warmth upon me, only partially succeeding, as the cool breezes of an approaching autumn attempted to thwart its dastardly plans. Alas, the hold of summer was still too strong – the wind provided only a momentary respite from the latest of a string of lazy summer days. The heat was just under sweltering in that zone where a pony’s only desire was to lay in the grass and watch the sky – maybe read a good book.

The grass was soft – invitingly so. It was the kind of soft that made us question why pegasi were so fixated on clouds. There was an entire world of softness out there, and grass on a warm summer day was just one of those sensations that struck us as a classic. With all the negotiations, I hadn’t had any chances to simply lay back and relax outside this past month, and, now that summer was nearing its end, I wouldn’t likely get another chance until next year.

Thrumming contentedly, I arched my back, half-contemplating standing before flopping back down on my side. Twilight giggled at the sight, putting away her notebook and pulling out something more recreational to read, Levitating the remains of the picnic back into the basket.

We had just finished another talk ranging from changeling traditions, to biological quirks, to the inner workings of the hivemind and our magic, and I was beat. The Badlands were hotter, but rarely was there this much moisture in the air. I didn’t sweat much naturally, but little droplets of water kept condensing on my chitin, so close was today to reaching one hundred percent humidity.

Looking at the sky, I watched clouds drift past. We didn’t have many clouds in the Badlands, just the most piercing blue sky. Here I could look for a bunny or a boat or a banana, all made of the fluffy white stuff. It almost made up for the fact I couldn’t feel warm sand in my fetlocks, because – soft grass or not – nothing beat Badlands sand. It was, ironically enough, as soft as the heavens themselves. At least, I thought so. The Badlands got oddly few tourists for being such beautiful deserts.

Perhaps it was the heat or the deadly sand scorpions. It couldn’t possibly be the dune worms, though. The big guys were all giant softies.

Inhaling deeply, I let the smell of grass fill my nose. “Twilight?” I exhaled slowly, letting the scent linger as long as possible. “Why does summer have to end here? This isn’t a wild zone. You can afford to keep it going.”

“Do you actually need an answer to that?” Twilight looked up at me, face scrunched.

From my current angle, she appeared upside down, so I wriggled around to at least turn her sideways if not upright. “I was being rhetorical, but humor me.”

Twilight laughed, the cotton candy of her mirth washing over me to linger with the more solid taste of grass on my tongue. The patch beneath me was just so smooth I couldn’t help but nibble on the stuff in curiosity.

“Well, we can’t have summer all year long if we want to enjoy fall, spring, or winter. Besides, all year summers would confuse the animals.”

“They’d adapt.” I rolled over for a second to buzz my wings. It had been misting earlier, and I had shifted up some wing cases to stop them from getting too wet. Now they ached to be free – if only for a moment. I had no desire to move anymore than necessary, so, as soon as I flicked them enough to get the blood pumping, I promptly fell over onto the ground again.

“I mean, this day was just so… perfect. The kind of day I dreamed of when I was young.” I groaned, stretching again. “It might not have enough sand, and it might be too humid, but other than that I couldn’t ask for anything better. I just want to stay here forever….”

“And do nothing but talk, like we’ve been doing all day?” Twilight grinned. “I admit, days like this are too rare a luxury for me. Usually, I need to stay cooped in the library to reach references, or I’m doing Celestia-knows-what for somepony else.”

She shook her head. “Not that I’m complaining. I got plenty of me time the day after Chrysalis found me in the Everfree.”

“I can’t remember a single day like today.” I thrummed. “There was absolutely nothing to do. Spi, Webber, and Wyrman handled all the orders and reports. Hera chased away the few reporters still trying to follow us. Errant made sure the Crusaders were busy on the other side of town. Ve don’t know what the Echo triplets were up to, but they promised they would help make sure nopony bothered us.”

Twilight’s smile became a frown. “Yeah, honestly, it seems a little weird to me. I mean, our ‘date’ isn’t so important that they need to do all that. It’s not like it’s real.”

“Presentation is everything.” I sighed. “If only we ‘went out’ like this more often.”

“We don’t have time for stuff like this every day.” Twilight’s ears drooped. “Being royalty is hard.”

“You said it.” I agreed.

There was a butterfly approaching us. A pink one with lemon yellow swirls in its wings. I held as still as possible, hoping to lure it in, because ve could tell that it would be delicious.

Slowly, delicately, it landed on the bridge of my muzzle, and crawled forward to poke it's beady little head in front of my eye. I dared not to move, lest I scare it away – waiting for it to move to a more opportune location – and after a minute or so of crawling about on my forehead, it finally meandered to the very tip of my snout.

Perfect.

In a flash of fangs, my tongue slithered out to pull the unsuspecting snack inside. It was delicate, yet crunchy – wings snapping like a thin piece of candy – and tasted somewhat like daisies. It must have just fed itself.

“Eww… Morpheus! Don’t eat the fauna!” Twilight laughed. “If you’re hungry, just come grab leftovers from the basket.”

“But that’s too far….” I groaned. “I don’t think you understand how much I don’t want to get up. You got the occasional day off – even as a princess. I’ve been working nonstop since I emerged from my Chrysaling as a lord. As in, not a single day off. Even this past month when I had fun with you and your friends, ve were always worrying about things in the background. Until today, ve never realized how much I needed this. Ve just used any relaxation time I could scrounge up to keep our schemes ahead of the competition.”

“Not a single day off?” Twilight frowned. “Sounds like you need more than just one day of doing nothing.” Her ears perked up. “Oh, I know! The Summer’s End Festival is tomorrow. I almost completely forgot about it with everything else going on! We can go together! It’ll be great.

She nodded to herself. “We can play carnival games and eat funnel cake and ride the Ferris wheel together. I’ll pay the controller to stop us at the top, and we’ll have the best view of the stars from the fair.” She giggled. “Well, best view if you aren’t a pegasus, but I didn’t have wings when my brother and I went to the Canterlot fair as a foal.”

She beamed at me. “Still, it’ll be great. What do you say? You deserve more than a single day off after who knows how long working.”

“Maybe….” I thrummed, tail flicking from side to side. “Then again, that would require getting up.”

Twilight huffed. “I could always take somepony else and let the papers go wild.”

I rolled over to look her dead in the eye and call her bluff. “You wouldn’t dare. You hate that kind of attention.”

“Yes,” Twilight cackled, “but someling still needs to learn his lesson about using subtlety when talking about our fake relationship. Can you just imagine what everypony will think if I show up with another date to the Summer’s End Festival?”

I held my deadpan gaze several seconds longer before cackling in kind. “Well played, Sparkle. Well played. Ve’ll make a changeling of you yet.” I finally stood, plates clicking and clacking and popping. They didn’t have to do so, but it helped sell the point that I really didn’t want to get up.

“What now, then?” I began wrapping the blanket up as Twilight put her book away.

She sighed. “Well, Spike is still insisting on cleaning Castle – even knowing Castle’s self-cleaning now – so we should probably grab today’s groceries for him. I just know Castle’s collecting dust and rearranging everything to mess with him.”

I shrugged. “Personally, ve think Castle does it so Spike feels like he’s doing something. I know I’d feel intimidated if my competition jumped from pet owl to giant all-knowing castle.” I shook my head. “It’s certainly an odd way to split the work, though.”

Twilight snorted. “Try mean. Castle’s just making more work for Spike.”

I set a hoof on her withers. “You and I both know Castle doesn’t have a mean bone in his body— walls?” I tilted my head.

“Body works well enough.” Twilight tried to smile again. “And I know. It just sometimes bothers me how much Spike defines himself with his work.” The taste of lemonade and wine wafted through the air. “I mean, I used to be just like that before the Nightmare Moon incident.”

“Spike seems more well-rounded, though.” I shrugged, not sure what else to say.

Twilight giggled, picking up the now-packed picnic basket and teleporting it away. “Oh, he definitely is, but still…”

We began walking toward the market in content silence – the sensation of a fresh babbling brook running over and around us. As we neared the edge of the park, the feeling broke as I shifted into a newer guise of mine.

Quick Wit was a gangly, white, unicorn with the build of a sprinter. His mane was a mix of blues that congealed together to look like a smooth blob of toothpaste – an aerodynamically designed blob – and his Cutie Mark was a simple sealed scroll.

“Must you go around like that?” Twilight had yet to approve of him for some reason. Every time I tried him out, she seemed to get annoyed. Ve couldn’t figure out why for the life of me.

“Or at least go as Wicked Smooth.” She sighed.

“Why?” I tilted my head to the side.

“Because I know Wicked Smooth. I like Wicked Smooth. Even your Snow Flurry guise would be better because I’ve spent time with her. Quick Wit just feels…” She trailed off, and I could feel her uncertainty – a mish-mashed not-quite tasteless sub-school of confusion.

“I just wanted a unicorn to round out my disguises.” I frowned. “If you really don’t like him, though...” With a flash of emerald flames, I turned into Wicked Smooth. I made him a little stockier than usual this time – a bit more earth pony than his gangly frame usually suggested.

“I’ll get used to him eventually, I guess.” Twilight gave me a light nudge with her shoulder to let me know everything was alright. As she made contact, I felt the entire breadth of her emotions pour over me – her dry, slightly sour, concern, her refreshingly cool contentment, her usual steely resolve, and even the tiny bit of spicy frustration she felt at being unable to say why Quick Wit vexed her.

I tried not to shudder at the sensation. Moments like this made me feel like Twilight was so close to having a heart to heart with me sometimes, but her emotions never responded when I reached out with mine. Alas, it seemed fate simply liked toying with me. Too few of my comrades were comfortable letting me in as it was. I didn’t need to repeatedly encourage the false hope that somepony other than Fluttershy could perform a heart to heart, too.

Yet I tried to reach out to her anyways. I let my gratitude shine forth like sunshine. As always, my answer went unheard, so I did the next best thing. I nudged her back in kind, trying to convey everything in a simple touch like she had.

It failed, of course. Nothing so mundane could convey so much information, but I smiled at the taste of cotton candy that began wafting from her all the same.

Silence fell around us once more as we walked towards the market. Ponies smiled and waved to us – well, to Twilight, at least. I got mostly some stares and nervous shuffling, but occasionally somepony would at least try to wave to me.

All the parents just loved Webber, and Errant was a hit with the foals. Ponies respected Hera for saving their princess, and ve aren’t sure they really noticed Spi or Wyrman. Even worse, the Echo triplets were untouchable between their jobs at the spa and their antics at Pinkie’s parties. Most ponies were nervous around me, though, now that they knew what I was.

I just needed something to break the ice – something other than being in a fake relationship with their princess. Honestly, that might have been half the problem if they thought I was anything like Mother.

Maybe going to the Summer’s End Festival with Twilight would help?

No. Bad Morpheus. I shook myself from our musings. I had just gotten done talking to Twilight about this. No need to ruin today or tomorrow with needless worrying.

“Hey, guys!” A rainbow blur sped past and looped around to meet up with us. “How’d your date go? I’ve been working overtime the past couple of days to make the weather perfect this week.”

“So it’s your fault all I want to do is laze about in this heat?” I arched an eyebrow.

“No need to thank me.” Rainbow puffed out her chest and ruffled her wings. “I already know I’m the greatest at making prime napping weather.”

“I certainly hope you weren’t planning on making tomorrow this muggy.” Twilight frowned.

“Ha! You kidding?” Rainbow launched back into the air, looping around before lazily gliding alongside us. “Prime napping weather today means perfect play weather tomorrow. We’ve been stockpiling breezes all week. Storage is even beginning to overflow if you hadn’t noticed.” Another breeze blew gently over us as we reached an intersection, and the pegasus’ wings twitched to turn with us. “I don’t envy anypony that needs to set up the fair in this heat, though.”

Twilight nodded. “It is a bit much.”

Rainbow cast her gaze towards Sweet Apple Acres. “Poor Applejack has got it worse, though. She managed to buck the rest of the last summer harvest by yesterday only to be stuck in a blazing hot kitchen with Granny Smith and Applebloom today.”

“She’s done it before, and she’ll do it again.” Twilight pulled a checklist from her bag as we neared the market.

“Oh, no doubt,” Rainbow smirked, “but she’s ‘crabbier than a crab apple.’ Threatened three times to hogtie me ‘fast as a six-legged sow seeking slop’ if I kept making things ‘sultry as steaming horseapples.’”

She waggled her eyebrows and the taste of apples, honey, and leather was strong. “Not that I mind a bit of hogtieing when it’s sultry.”

“You should talk to Mother sometime, then.” I snorted. “That kind of thing is right up her alley.”

Rainbows smirk turned into a frown. “Not. Cool. Dude.”

I shrugged. “Don’t remind me of Mother, then. After a couple years of her particular… tastes… I really don’t like to think about them.”

“You?” Rainbow arched an eyebrow. “The changeling who explained – in detail to at least half a dozen reporters – the various methods in which you’d be able to keep Twilight happy?”

“This isn’t happening….” Twilight sank behind her checklist blushing. “I thought we were all moving on from that incident….”

Ve decided it would be unwise to mention Twilight’s earlier threat of taking another ‘date’ to the festival tomorrow – instead responding to Rainbow’s far too cocky smile. “Everypony has preferences,” I shrugged, “and there are plenty of ways to please a mare that don’t require asserting dominance.”

Rainbow drifted closer and winked. “Such as?”

I sighed, rubbing the base of my horn with a hoof. The air was full of the thick, bouncy, rubber that was Twilight’s embarassment, and I really didn’t want this conversation to continue if it bothered her that much. I knew first hand, after all, what it was like to be ashamed of your species form of procreation.

Personally, I thought she had no need for it. Ve were quite aware that for ponies the act was as much an expression of love as it was a practical means of continuing the species. There was no reason for her to be nervous. It was something to be celebrated among ponies. For some, however, that meant keeping it a private affair, so it was only polite to try and watch my tongue.

Besides, as tempted as ve were to discuss the finer points of intimacy with Rainbow, I couldn’t help but feel like it would be a hollow conversation.

Rainbow had been nothing but the definition of friendly lately. I enjoyed it at first, but after a while ve noticed that there was a discrepancy in Rainbow’s interactions between me and the others. She was more… casual, for lack of a better term. Normally, such would be an upside – especially compared to her original hostility – but it lacked the sincerity of proper emotion. Or perhaps there was too much sincerity in her emotions.

It was difficult to describe as ve had never imagined such a possibility – somepony being too friendly – but that was the state of things as they were. I’d even secretly checked if someling had replaced her or put a spell on her, but, no, Rainbow was acting of her own accord, and ve were flummoxed as to her motives.

Oh, ve were worrying again, weren’t ve?

“And today had been just perfect….” I hissed under my breath. No matter. It should be a simple matter of procrastinating on the issue. Waiting until a more opportune time to solve a problem. Ve could still go back to not worrying.

Right?

“Aww… Geeze… I think I broke him, Twi.” Rainbow poked me with a hoof and I blinked – my surroundings suddenly reasserting themselves on my senses.

“I think he’s just trying to think of a way to respond, Dash.” Twilight giggled – still blushing slightly – and patted me on my withers. “Probably my fault more than anything else. I think he’s trying to figure out a way to be tactful.”

“Pssht!” Rainbow scoffed. “He don’t need no tact with me.”

“But Twilight would prefer I not share any sensitive information on our relationship.” I nodded respectfully to the mare in question. “I would prefer not to embarrass my marefriend any further.”

“Whatever.” Rainbow rolled her eyes. “I suppose Twilight would be all sappy about it.” She flew far closer to me than I thought physically possible and stage whispered. “Guess I’ll just spike her drink at the next sleepover. Just remember, big guy, you had a chance to spill, and girls talk about everything.”

“I heard that, Rainbow Dash.” Twilight rolled her eyes as Dash flew away laughing. Turning to me, she smiled and whispered quietly. “Thank you for not saying anything. I mean, not that there’s anything to say, but I was worried you’d start bluffing.”

I smiled and nodded in turn before frowning as an odd thought came to mind. “What do you actually talk about at sleepovers? Ve are aware of a number of patterns for potential slumber party conversation, but it tends to differ from group to group.”

“Oh, you know…” Twilight waved a hoof dismissively, “stuff…”

“What a highly illuminating answer.” I deadpanned.

She giggled. “I really mean it. We talk about a bit of everything, although Dash was exaggerating when she flew off.” She blushed again. “I would never talk about stuff like that... except… maybe with Cadance….”

“Let’s go get those groceries then!” She was behind the shopping list without warning.

Ve were unsure if this was actually an avoidance tactic for the conversation at hand. She was embarrassed, but only minorly so. It was far more likely she had suddenly remembered we had more to do that day and was – instead – embarrassed about getting distracted by Rainbow.

“Let’s see… Spike’s making rose quartz soup so… I believe we have the flour and vegetable oil already… one pound of rose petals… some celery, apples, and red peppers… some form of vegetable stock... a half-stone worth of actual rose quartz – must be a Pie family recipe – and... five Trinicorn moruga scorpions?” Twilight’s face scrunched. “Make that’s a Pinkie Pie recipe, then.”

“Sounds spicy and sweet,” ve mused, licking our chops in anticipation. “How does one prepare it?”

“Umm…” Twilight frowned, eye twitching, before momentarily disappearing in a flash of light. When she reappeared, she was clutching an amused looking dragon in her magic.

“Really, Twilight?” Spike snickered, looking smug. “Is your first response to getting asked a question on food really to come running to me?”

“Maybe.” Twilight huffed. “I panicked, alright? You know how I get when I’m asked a question I should know.”

“But you don’t know cooking.” Spike arched an eyebrow.

“It’s basically applied chemistry!” Twilight snapped. “I’ll learn it one of these days.”

“Right…” Spike rolled his eyes. “Let’s just grab those ingredients. Yo, flyboy.” He looked at me, the faintest whiff of oranges and cotton candy directed at me. “You wanted to know how I make my magic?”

I nodded politely, bowing my head.

“Then let’s walk and talk.”

We started moving through the marketplace, starting with the rose petals which were at a nearby stand. A cream-colored earth pony managed the stand, and she nodded cheerfully to Twilight and Spike as we walked up.

“Hiya, Princess, Spike! What can I get you?”

“A pound of your finest rose petals, Roseluck.” Spike slapped the top of the stand twice. “Make sure it’s the good stuff.”

Roseluck giggled, opening a small ice box I hadn’t noticed before and removing a bag of chilled petals. “I take it you’re cooking again?”

“You bet!” The dragon snatched the bag and squinted at it carefully, tongue sampling the air every so often. “I think these will work. Freshly plucked this morning?”

“You know it!” Roseluck nodded. “They’re from my personal stock, too. I know you’re picky enough to tell the difference between a rose I grew and a rose Daisy or Lily grew.”

“Perfect!” Spike snapped a claw. “Twilight, pay this good mare!”

Twilight tittered. “Yes, your highness.”

As his caretaker completed the transaction, Spike turned to me. "This is probably the most important ingredient. The quartz might be more important, but only to me.”

He weighed the bag heftily in his claw. “A quarter cups worth of this is going to be crushed to a fine pulp and mixed into the flour and vegetable oil to make a variant of roux. It’ll be heated at medium heat for five to eight minutes – stirring constantly with the rose quartz soaking in it – and, when it’s done, the roux should be a rich rosy red.”

As Twilight finished, we moved on, yet Spike carefully continued, scrutinizing me carefully. “Next you add the fruit, veggies, and remaining rose petals – cooking those in the roux for about five minutes. Chopped celery. Sliced Red Gala apples. Diced red peppers and Trinicorn moruga scorpions. They all need to soak in the roux – stirring occasionally – to spread and mix the flavors.”

He paused as we reached a stand selling various rocks and stocks. Sniffing both as he had the rose petals, he settled on an onion stock and several small pieces of rose quartz.

“Not sure about the onion stock, but let’s live life on the edge.” He shook his head. “Anyways, lastly add the stock and bring to a boil before letting simmer on low heat for half an hour.” He licked his lips. “Serve fresh for best taste, but keep the quartz for dessert.”

As we moved onto the produce stands, ve began to crunch the numbers and run a simulation – relying on various emotional substitutes. Finishing an exact analysis of what combination of emotions were needed, ve spun them synthetically into a small patch of spare silk in our corbiculae.

Putting the silk to our tongue, ve found it to be the perfect combination of sweet and spicy.

Wait.

The spice was picking up.

It was picking up fast, and had a kick to rival the bucking sun.

“By the Azure Veil, that’s hot!” I quickly spat the silk out. My heart was on fire, nearly exploded as it pumped sweet agony through my body in what can only be described as pure catharsis.

“Hey!” Spike glared. “No cheating to get a taste.” He gestured vehemently to the silk. “I don’t know what you did, but it’s lacking all the texture and finer details.”

I wilted, ear tubes splaying back. “But—”

“Don’t you ‘but’ me, mister. I’ve been preparing food for Twilight almost as long as I’ve been hatched. You might live in Twilight’s castle, but her kitchen is my domain – my lair – and don’t you forget it.”

I looked to Twilight for help, but she only giggled at my misfortune. “Now you see why I had to get him? He would have lectured me for an hour if I’d been the one to answer your question – especially if I did it wrong.”

“And you were going to get ingredients without me,” the dragon chided. “That would have totally earned you another half hour.”

“He’s a regular old tyrant in the kitchen, isn’t he?” I droned.

The doors to Castle groaned as they slowly opened. It was a majestic groan, but a groan nonetheless, and it echoed up and down the halls, announcing our return to anypony who heard it.

“We’re back, everypony!” Twilight called as walked in the bags of ingredients. She paused for a second as she passed the threshold, head tilting. “I mean, everyling!”

She shook her head. “Gosh that’s starting to get confusing. Maybe I should write a paper addressing the current pony-centric state of the Equish language. We could really stand to shift the standard to focus on generic indefinite pronouns. ‘Someone’, perhaps…. Or maybe, ‘everycreature.’”

I shrugged. “It’ll still be a problem in most other languages. I know Chitri has various intonations to denote variances in group composition, but we rarely use any form beyond ling or occasionally pony. No real practical purpose when only changelings speak the language.”

“Well, I suppose—” Twilight began handing the groceries to Spike, pulling her notebook from the aether.

“Uncle Mo Mo!” Errant exploded from one of the hallways in a fervent buzzing of wings.

I braced my forelegs – deploying the stabilization rods, yet creating a cushion like density for the outer layer of chitin. Errant slammed into me, wrapping my right leg in a death grip. They thrummed as I fed them bits of my happiness upon seeing them, and they tossed me theirs in kind. Electric pride tingled from me to him at the exchange, further spoiling him. I didn’t care, though. Errant’s perfect willingness to have heart to hearts was one of the things helping me reach out to the others.

“I’ll just leave you two to your moment.” Twilight smiled at the interruption. “I’ll be in the library if anyling needs me.”

I let Errant spend a few more moments of constricting my legs before pulling them off of my leg and onto my back. They turned around several times before settling down to watch the occasional twitch of my tail like a cat hunting mice.

“So how was your date?” they asked, eyes never leaving my tail.

My tail flicked once or twice at the question, and I glanced around to make sure Spike had gone to the kitchen. “Same as usual, although you know it’s not a date.”

They batted at my tail as it flicked. “Not true. It fulfills all the criteria of a date. I asked Sweetie Belle about it today when she had the Crusaders try writing romance. Ve thought there had to be kissing and stuff, but she was really adamant about the fact that different ponies had different kinds of romances.

They blinked their haw. “Then she got kinda flustered when ve asked her if I could write a more passionate romance. Didn’t like my example of an alicorn of lust learning to love at all.”

I thrummed. “Ve imagine she wouldn’t. It’s not very age appropriate for pony foals.”

“It totally was!” Errant pouted. “Ve remembered to censor everything this time! I didn’t want father getting scolded by everypony’s parents like a week ago when we tried becoming rap stars!”

“Well, I suppose an alicorn of lust must have just been too cliche.” I chuckled.

Errant’s pout transmogrified, becoming larger than it had any right to be. “She suggested I write about you and Twilight, but I can’t do that if you aren’t actually dating. Why can’t you two just get over your denial and get on with it?”

I blinked, head tilting to the side like clockwork. “What?”

“Nevermind…” Errant sighed before muttering to himself, “Grown ups are so stupid sometimes….”

I chuckled again, letting it go. Nymphs would be nymphs. They all went through that phase, thinking they saw love in everything.

Summer's End (Morpheus) Part 3

Summer's End (Morpheus) Part 2

The fair went beyond description, although ve will do our best to find the words to describe it. It is worth noting, however, that such words will be woefully inadequate. My trip to the fair was a magical experience, and sharing it via words alone feels awkward.

Perhaps you’d be willing to share in my memories, though. I know that for the most part we’ve tried to keep things strictly vocal, but certain events are simply too powerful to express that way.

A breeze tickled the inside of my fetlock cavities as I looked out on the fair. An assortment of stands with products ranging from the mundane to quite strange lined the area like make-shift walls.

Soups. Sandwiches. Funnel cakes. Cotton Candy. Carrot dogs. Pizza. Quiche. Lasagna. Even a griffon selling fish and chips. The food was any and everywhere, and simply the smell of such a mish-mash of delicacies was a reward all on its own – sans the stinky cheese stand, of course.

There were ball tosses, ring tosses, balloon pops, and firing ranges. Games of chance and games of skill. Eating contests that were followed by cramped seven-legged races. Scavenger hunts that found well-hidden cabers to toss. Shell games to find the balls for dunking tanks – of the water, pudding, and jello variety.

Puppet shows of both humble and Great and Powerful origins. Crystal balls that foretold that a retry was needed with tarot cards. Freak shows with inanimate objects advertised as feral changelings. An advice booth looked over by Webber, and kissing booths managed by the Echo triplets.

Carousels housing bumper carts that made me motion sick just looking at them.

A Round Up roller coaster – where the ride itself was the safety belt.

And the coup-de-gras, a large non-euclidean Ferris wheel ve had never seen the like of before – twisting and contorting through at least seven different dimensions, or so the sign said. It had stops throughout the entirety of the fair, and peaked so high ve could swear I would be able to touch the moon from it.

Meanwhile, emotions bombarded me from every direction. Happiness. Merriment. Joy. Some frustration. Great elation. Sweet, spicy, dry, and even tiny bits of sour – quickly turning to sugar when the adrenaline kicked in, full power. There was the taste of everything and the kitchen sink – that nasty, elusive, kitchen sink that ve could never properly codify as an emotion.

All that and more I couldn’t perceive. It slammed into my senses, overwhelming me with its grandeur. At some point I must have stumbled to the side, because Twilight was giggling like mad as she supported me, a wing over my back.

“Would you believe me if I said it was a work in progress?” The Princess staggered as her comment made me stumble again.

“What more could you possibly add?” I hissed, eyes darting about.

Twilight shrugged, rubbing her shoulder against mine. “Pinkie mentioned something about cannons to the moon last board meeting I was at.”

“Cannon… to… the… moon?” I chirped the most masculine of chirps. Definitely not so high pitched that they threatened to be imperceptible to even the changeling ear. “By the hive, I need to sit down.” The world was spinning. Perhaps more filters were needed.

No. No extra filters. I just needed to adapt. Filters were a crutch, and any other day I’d be fine.

“So…” I looked around as Twilight and I collapsed into a seat, “five minutes in, and I’m already taking a break….”

“Actually, it was twenty.” Twilight was still giggling occasionally. “You kept trying to trace the path of the Ferris wheel as it plucked cars into and out of the x, y, and z axes onto the a, b, c, or d axes.”

“Yeah....” I turned my head back towards the Ferris wheel like a moth looks to a flame.

“Bad Morpheus!” Twilight thwapped me with a wing. “I just got you back. Don’t go zoning off again.”

“Alright! Alright!” I looked anywhere but the Ferris wheel. We were going to do that last anyways. “So what’s first?”

Twilight retrieved a checklist from the aether. “Carnival games.”

I grinned a very evil grin. “Oh, wonderful. Tell me, Twilight. How many objects can you manipulate at once?”

Twilight hummed in thought. “I’m not sure there’s a limit if don’t need to worry about finesse. I can just group a bunch of objects together and treat them as one ‘object’ for the purpose of lifting alone. My record for fine control is all the books in the Golden Oaks library, though, so at least five thousand four hundred sixty three – probably more since I’ve been getting stronger.” She tilted her head to the side. “Why do you ask?”

My grin grew. “Because I’m about to raise you an army.”

Standing, I found the myriad of sensations from the fair were no longer quite so overwhelming. My legs were still a little shaken, but I sauntered as best I could to the nearest game stand – a ball toss.

“How much?” I flashed a smile at the vendor – shrinking my fangs to lessen the fear response. A brief waft of sour milk filled the air, but the pony in charge held it in check rather nicely.

“Two tickets for three shots.” Flaring his cape, the orange unicorn revealed three small rubber meteors.

“Right…” I frowned. “Forgot to purchase tickets.”

“I didn’t!” Twilight smiled as she approached, waving her checklist for me to see. Below the first item of carnival games was a second checklist – a sublist – whose first item was ‘purchase tickets for carnival games.’

“Never change, Twilight.” I shook my head, chuckling as Twilight let me take the tickets. Turning back to the stand master, I ripped two tickets free from the bunch, and gave them to him.

“Wonderful!” The unicorn stood on his hind hooves, spreading his fore hooves in a grand sweeping gesture.

He levitated me the meteors, and I squinted at them. Non-uniform pocks and craters marked the surface in a half-clever attempt to mess with the air resistance of the ball. It would have messed with most athletes subconscious calculations – hindering those who might have had an advantage.

Ve were not limited to subconscious calculations, though. A burst of tremor sense through the balls told us everything ve needed to know – including the hidden composition of their interior. They were not a singular pieces of rubber, but rather had several other components of varying density inside to offset their center of gravity.

Beginning what calculations ve could do with information from the ball alone, I sent another burst of tremor sense to the bottles that were my target, and a small breeze traveled from me to the pins and back again as I gathered info on the state of the atmosphere between me and the pins.

My paranoia that he somehow tampered with the air was thankfully unfounded, yet it was difficult to narrow down the proper point I would need to impact the bottles on. Ve weren’t sure if it was intentional on the unicorns part, but most of our projected potential impact points for the ball would leave a bottle or two standing.

In the end, though, our simulations came through for us. I pulled back a hoof and threw – all the bottles scattering from a direct hit. Picking up the remaining two balls, ve repeated the process for the other stacks of bottles. Three balls. Three potential targets. Three prizes upon completion. It was simple math.

With the ringing of spilled bottles still in everypony’s ears, I turned to the stand master and held out a hoof. “Prizes please.”

He blinked, opening and closing his mouth several times. “I think you mean prize: singular.”

I frowned. “Really? That’s a horribly inefficient system. Your simply delaying the inevitable. Princess Twilight needs her army.” I plucked an enormous, orange, fluffy, stuffed sheep from the rack of prizes. It was the size of a small pony, and it's fur was so thick a foal could get lost in it. Levitating it to Twilight, I bowed. “Every army needs a general, Princess.”

Turning back to the orange unicorn, I handed him two more tickets. “F. Y. I. That was not a fluke. I will keep going until I clear you out. If you wish to expedite the process at any point, you need merely speak up.”

Several stand managers glared as they packed up their booths. The army of stuffed animals saluted their Princess – or they would have if Twilight bothered to play along. Instead, Twilight was staring at her minions as ponies passed by. Her face was scrunched, and her emotions were a confusing mish-mash of reactions that jumped between sweet cotton candy, spicy sweet-peppers, and a dry lemonade with a hint of wine.

“You know, when I was a filly, my brother used to spend almost his entire allowance when he took me to the Summer’s End Festival? Most of it went towards trying to win me and Cadance a prize.”

She sighed, and the wine grew a bit more distinctive and stronger – no longer mixed with the lemonade, but standing independent and full of mulled spices as she reminisced.

“He never won anything, no matter what kind of advice I gave. One year, I specifically studied all the physics involved to coach him, and he managed to win once, but he gave it to Cadance…. I was so mad that we almost had to leave the fair, which only made me feel worse when he gave me Smarty Pants the next day. You know, Shining hoof-stitched her for me because he didn’t want to risk another year of disappointment at the fair?”

I blinked, uncertain of how to deal with the situation. Twilight should have been happy, not… whatever this was – happy with a whole heap of side dishes. In an effort to buy time, ve let the first thing to come to mind out of my mouth. “Our data suggests you got Smarty Pants around age five…. That seems a little early for physics.”

She giggled. “Yeah, the fact that I studied doesn’t mean I actually understood anything at the time. I just thought I did, being five years old and all. There was this phase where I let all the talk of being a prodigy get to my head.”

She looked about her small army once more, sighing wistfully. “Now, we’re here, playing carnival games, and you’ve won me every prize from the last ten booths, and I can’t afford to keep them.”

I tsked. “What?! Why?! I won them all fair and square for you.”

“But these carnival games are designed for ponies, not changelings….” Twilight began levitating her prizes back to the stands, earning mostly grateful nods from their owners. The orange unicorn I’d cleaned out first merely continued to grumble – having to reopen everything he’d just packed up.

I looked to the ground and frowned. “Then why did you wait ten whole booths to stop me?”

“I’m sorry….” Her ears splayed back as she looked at me. Walking up, she lightly bumped the bridge of her muzzle into the bridge of mine. “I should have said something sooner, but I was really enjoying watching you go at it. I wanted to see if you could clear the carnival for me, honest, but I just can’t because it isn’t fair to the ponies running the stands or anypony else who wants to play.”

She gave a half-hearted grin. “Next year, I’ll make sure we have games for changelings to take part in.”

“Can she at least keep the General?” I looked to the orange unicorn.

He looked between Twilight, myself, and the massive, orange, sheep that had most likely been the main attraction to draw in crowds to his stand. He hadn’t had any other prizes nearly as big, and ve could classify all the minute outward signs of him having an internal struggle of some sort.

Finally, he exhaled mightily. “Fine…. As long as it’s alright with Twilight, I suppose the first three perfect throws do deserve an award.”

My eyes were two times larger than normal and growing by the time my head whipped back around to Twilight. I bit my chops just so – like Errant did – and pouted, all the while giving the tiniest, most pitiful, whimper.

Twilight averted her gaze, coughing violently. “Nope. No need for the face. Stop it.” She squirmed, sneaking a peak to find each eye taking up almost half of my head. “There’s absolutely no reason to bring out that horrifyingly adorable face. I’ll be happy to keep General Fluffmagedon.”

“Yes!” Instantly dropping the facade, I thrummed – wings chirping happily.

Twilight smiled, shaking her head. “Should I be worried that you’re so fixated on me keeping it? You aren’t normally so…” She trailed off, waving a hoof to try and articulate her thoughts.

“Ve’re trying not to worry. You know that.” I laughed. “I can afford a bit of nymphishness today, don’t you think?”

“I suppose.” Twilight cocked her head to the side. “Just remember that today’s supposed to be your day off. Your day off. I don’t want you to…” She clicked her tongue. “How to explain it?”

Her brow furrowed and she was silent for several moments – an island of contemplation in a sea of ponies. “Don’t… Don’t stop being the Prince just because you can. It’s a part of who you are, you know? I want you to have a day off and not worry, but, honestly, I’m worried you’ll take that to mean you should pretend to be someling you’re not.”

I bared my fangs in a grin. “I was silly and foal-like once, you know. I was a regular troublemaker as a nymph – still technically am if you count all the ways I frustrate the other lords.”

“You know what I mean.” She lightly slugged me before turning back to her checklist. “Ah, next is funnel cake!” She turned to her right, and began walking to the nearest directory.

I rubbed the spot she hit me and allowed ourself to wonder about the situation as I followed. Twilight was worried about me again – kind of. She’d had no reason to be, and she seemed placated now, but her worrying itself made today all the sweeter for reasons ve still couldn’t fully understand. The stares several other ponies were giving us as we passed, however, left me feeling like butterflies were crawling about my stomach.

Ve wanted nothing more than to hide myself in the guise of Wicked Smooth, but I refused to let their stares get to me.

“Funnel cake!” A plate of crispy fried dough – still popping slightly with the traces of burning hot oil that were clinging to the pastry – was put before me so quickly I barely had time to stop. Looking up, I found the Pink Menace pronking in place as she offered both me and Twilight a plate.

“Pinkie!” Twilight smiled. “How did you know Mo and I were heading to the funnel cake stand?”

“Huuuuuuuuuuuh!” There was a long and overly dramatic gasp from the pink party pony. “I totally had no idea! I’ve just been wandering around sharing my funnel cake with ponies! If you were looking for me, then this must be destiny!”

“No, Pinkie.” Ve bit our chops, wondering if daring to question her madness was wise. “We were looking for the funnel cake stand, not you. You just happened to—”

“But I am the funnel cake stand!” She pulled a cart loaded with bubbling fryers from behind a flagpole. One of the timers dinged, and she removed a pastry only to eat it in one bite – pouring sugar and a vanilla ice cream bar down her throat almost as an afterthought. Holding out two ice cream bars, she smiled. “Want some for your own?”

I stared for a second before ve decided that asking Logic’s End where the cart came from would be folly. Tentatively taking the ice cream I pulled out the tickets Twilight had given me.

“Oh! No! No! No! I don’t take tickets.” The Enigma shook her head vehemently.

Twilight laughed as I slowly painfully began to hoof my plate back. “Don’t worry about paying her, Mo. Pinkie just kind of… does her own thing at these fairs.” She rubbed her horn. “Last year it was a giant game of laser tag. With unicorns as the armament of choice.

“Twilight won me the game!” Pinkie pushed my plate back towards me, and I hungrily took it.”

“Sounds intense.” I managed to respond before beginning to inhale my treat.

“Oh, it was.” Twilight’s tail twitched as she finished a bite. She was still running a hoof over her horn. “My horn and tail were sore for days afterward.”

“Mmmnf…” The crisp pastry flaked apart in my mouth, and I shuddered at the inequine perfection that was Pinkie’s pastries. Baked or fried, she knew her deserts.

“Ah… funnel cake.” Twilight licked her lips to rid herself of the last of the sugar. “Guess it’s time to move onto… the scavenger hunt….” She looked up from her checklist at me briefly. “Okay, maybe not. That’ll probably be the carnival games all over again…. That and I’m not sure either of us can toss the cabers they hid this year. We could— No. That poses the same problem. I saw what the freak shows were promoting, so they’re also a no. Oh! We could— Wait. Nevermind. They’re sold out by now. We’d have had to grab them the instant the fair opened. I suppose…”

“Twilight.” I popped another piece of funnel cake in my mouth. Ve were confident that she would neither stop nor realize I’d said anything. It would take at least three more attempts unless I wanted to make a scene.

Indeed, Twilight didn’t seem to hear, continuing to pace in her little circles. “We could go get our future read now, but I don’t want to run the risk of being told we’ll come back at three fifty-two like I have actually scheduled....”

“Oh! Oh! I know what you should do! Twilight! Twilight!” Pinkie spun her friend about and pointed. Following her hoof, I audibly gulped. The Tunnel of Love – in all it’s heart-stopping glory – was only a few feet away, and it baffled us that I could have let mere funnel cake distract me such that I would miss the real smorgasbord of the fair.

Twilight merely scrunched her face in distaste. “No, Pinkie. Those rides are nothing but excuses for… well… you know…”

“Yeah, and?” Pinkie waggled her eyebrows. “Wouldn’t you and Mo like an excuse to you know?”

Twilight snorted. “I don’t think we—”

“I want to go…” I stared hungrily at the slowly simmering pot that held soup made of purest honey.

“What?” Twilight reared back. “Why would you want to— Oh!” Hoof met face. “You’re hungry, of course.”

“Ah…” Pinkie pouted, patting me on the withers consolingly. “You didn’t say you were still punishing him with no dessert because of the incident with the papers, Twilight.” Big, tear-filled, blue, eyes turned to pout at Twilight. “Don’t you think he’s suffered enough? I mean, what is it? Two weeks now with minimum rations? Either you were madder than I thought, or you just like to keep him whipped.”

I internally flinched at the images that came to mind from Pinkie’s choice of diction. Surely there was no way she meant that literally like Mother would, but her words were evocative.

“I— You think— Argh!” The sudden tingle of magenta sparkles were my only warning before I found myself being lifted off the ground. “I. Am. Not. Like. That.” Twilight glared at Pinkie but the Pink Puzzle just giggled.

“Sure you aren’t.” She winked at me with all the exaggerated slowness of a tortoise.

“I’m not!” Twilight ruffled her feathers. “I’ll even show you!”

She stomped up to the Tunnel of Love’s entrance levitating me behind her. I felt everypony staring at me – all of them not quite sure whether they should be amused or bemused – and decided the best possible course of action was to just smile and wave. Confidence did wonders in these sorts of situations.

“Ah, Twilight! I was wondering when I’d see you here. You and your coltfriend are the talk of the town these days.” A razzmatazz pegasus stallion managed the entrance with the most bedazzling scarlet mustache. If I hadn’t known better, I’d of thought him Snow Flurry’s brother.

Twilight smiled a smile only a predator could love. “Great! Then you know why I’m here.” She levitated far too many tickets over. “Make sure no reporters follow us.”

I heard the flash of a camera somewhere overhead, and I knew. There was no need for the reporters to follow us. The most damning of photographs had been taken. So many things could be construed from the massive bribe Twilight was giving the pegasus.

No. Wait. There was the distinctive crack of breaking plastic and the squeak of bending metal. A nervous squawk signaled the attempted flight of the reporter, and the deep thrum gave away Hera’s satisfaction that she got to hunt today.

Twilight – oblivious to the fact that Hera just saved her dignity – pulled me through the entrance and set me in the giant swan boat. The giant pink swan boat. The giant pink swan boat with a pony’s head. Okay. It was actually Cadance’s head. I couldn’t deny it. Even a little. We were going to slowly drift down dark tunnels seated on the back of the Princess of Love.

Ve had no idea why that was considered romantic. It was like she was watching me – judging me – and it would get real creepy real fast if I was actually here to snuggle with Twilight.

As it was, I was here for the food. Even at the loading dock, there were all sorts of appetizing appetizers – hints of what was to come in the air. The taste of flower blossoms lingered in the air. All kinds of blooms. All kinds of crushes. A hint of honey here or there.

Twilight sat next to me in the boat, mumbling to herself. I should have paid more attention to her, but I was admittedly almost drooling in anticipation. As I licked my chops, she looked at me, blushed, and looked down at the base of the boat.

“I’m going to regret getting annoyed at Pinkie, aren’t I?” She sighed.

“Most likely.” I thrummed.

“Everypony saw me drag you inside, didn’t they?” Her face scrunched.

“Most assuredly.” I nodded.

“And now they’re going to—” she finally looked at the head of the boat “—sweet Celestia! Is that Cadance? What sane couple wants Cadance watching while they cuddle in the dark?”

“Ve’re sure your brother wouldn’t mind a second Cadance.” I flicked my wings, giving off the faintest chirp of amusement, but otherwise keeping my delivery deadpan.

Twilight thwapped me with a wing as we descended into the tunnel. “Seriously?”

I simply smiled in response, changing the subject before Twilight began to dig herself a hole. “You know, I could always link you to the hivemind for this. Aren’t you curious what so much mixed ambient love tastes like?”

Her eyes lit up. “Oh my gosh! I didn’t even think of that! This is the perfect learning opportunity!” With a fizzle and pop one of her notebooks appeared – primed with a quill and ink bottle.

The boat started to crawl forward, and I leaped into action – no desire for a lecture on missing the beginning of the ride. Leaning forward, I rested my head atop hers and let my horn flicker to life.

Ve had been fine-tuning the spell in our sleep for a while, but were unsure on whether or not our adjustments would work. I wanted the spell to be more pony friendly – less setup time, easier to interpret sensations, lack of physical contact as a requirement during casting.

“Oh! It’s like a flower salad in my mouth! Daisies, lilies, roses, apple blossoms, orange blossoms, even peach and cherry blossoms! There are so many kinds of flowers dancing on my tongue! I can’t even identify them all!”

That was probably the deadly nightshade – not much reason for ponies to eat that. Admittedly, it was an odd flavor for a crush, but I wasn’t one to judge. Regardless, our efforts on the first seemed to work, as the connection was made almost instantly. The second was a toss up until Twilight shared more of what she was feeling. And the third was something ve’d yet to find any solution to.

Still, it was expected that we cuddle throughout the ride, so the third issue was perhaps a boon in this case. I wriggled slightly – shifting my body’s contours to make a seatback of sorts for her. She looked at me – face scrunching – as I leaned into her, and I whispered three words.

“For appearance’s sake.”

That seemed to lessen her embarrassment, and she nodded before letting herself relax against me. The scritch-scratch of quill on paper filled the air, and the boat finally inched into the first tunnel. We were going to be here a long time if the whole ride was this speed.

“You know, this is really pretty.” Twilight hummed. “Flowers are falling through the air around us with sparkling little stars dancing between them.”

“It shouldn’t be that intense.” I thrummed. “I can set up a filter if you want.”

“No. No. It’s fine.”

Twilight shook her head as we entered a small room meant to look like the beach. The smell of brine filled the air, and the wall and water was lit up in a myriad of oranges to simulate the sunset. Little toy boats tried to pretend at being sailboats out at sea, while a small patch of sand was to our right – complete with a towel and umbrella.

“Oooh… Now I’m picking up the taste of honey!” She glanced about, head subtly shifting beneath my own, probably expecting a pitcher of the stuff to be flying about.

“It was there before, Twilight.” I chuckled. “Can you sample the different kinds? Or is it just honey to you?”

Twilight sniffed and stuck her tongue out to sample the air. “There’s honey clustered oats and apple pancakes drizzled in honey and I think that might be mead.”

“That’s pretty good.” I thrummed, letting some pride through the link. Her observation was spot on, although I sampled the air myself – tongue darting in and out – to see if there were any finer details she’d missed. There was a hint of leather in the air that both she and I had missed so far, but I wasn’t about to ask if she could taste the lust in the air.

“You know—” Twilight’s ear flicked, tickling the underside of my muzzle as I spoke “—the pancakes are from Applejack and Rainbow. Their love is very…” I hesitated “...calling it familial feels like it would be doing a disservice to its depth, but the fact is family is a huge deal to Applejack. Ve believe that is reflected in it’s taste, which is why it’s such a homey flavor.”

“What about Rainbow Dash?” TwilIght’s ear flicked again, and I tried not to twitch from the sensation.

“Her love is much the same.” I closed my eyes so ve could think on how to explain. “That’s why there’s so much depth to it. They’re each so in synch with the other. Cadance and your brother were like that too. Both ends of their love were like a steel dipped blade dancing in a storm of rose petals – an endless romantic waltz in spring on a moonlit night.”

“Sounds poetic.” Twilight murmured, shifting slightly in her seat.

“Love is poetic.” The reply was automatic. “It’s a whirlwind of rules and behaviors that mean something different to everypony seeking it. For some, it’s a rich structured courtship. For others, it’s a casual fling without any binding laws. Still, others purposely disobey the rules to make their own, and some don’t even realize there are rules until it’s too late. In the end, everypony has their own rulebook for love – one need simply read it to write the perfect poem for them.”

I hesitated upon tasting Twilight’s appreciation for my words, but couldn’t stop from following through. “Mother used to say that….” I felt the appreciation sour. “I know she meant it in a more manipulative light, but it still feels like an appropriate summation, don’t you think?”

“I suppose….” Twilight squirmed in her seat slightly before coming to rest against me once more. We entered the darkened tunnel at the end of the room and sat in silence as we drifted to the next room.

There was a field waiting for us on the other side. I could smell the flowers as we passed them – drifting down a river through the middle of the room. Twilight was sniffling, no doubt trying to differentiate between the real flowers and the romance in the air.

“What do you think Rainbow and Applejack were doing in here?” Twilight finally restarted the conversation.

“What other couples do?” I shrugged. “Rainbow might be fine with bragging about the bedroom, but I’ve noticed she avoids certain forms of displaying affection in public. It wouldn’t surprise us if she came here with Applejack to get some privacy.”

Possibly something more, I left unsaid. The taste of leather and honey soaked pancakes was stronger now, suggesting the two were linked. Ve sincerely hoped that, if things had become physical between Rainbow and Applejack, they had not progressed too far. Twilight would be beyond disturbed at the idea that we might be in the same boat they were in, and such activities would have left an impression in the room the deed was done, if not on the boat itself. Twilight would probably notice the kind of filter I’d need to set up to block that, which – of course – meant she’d ask what I was doing and why.

“Hey. Is it just me, or do you taste something new in the air?” Twilight poked me with her hoof. Her wings tried to ruffle as she turned her head from side to side, ear flicking.

“There’s nothing there that wasn’t there before.” I tried a simple half truth, but the tickling sensation of feathers and ears betrayed me. I snorted, causing her to pull back for a second and squint up at me.

“That was a very changeling answer.” Her magic gripped my ear, jerking my head downward so I was forced to meet her gaze. “What aren’t you telling me? What am I tasting?”

I remained silent as we passed through the room, retreating behind my haws.

“Come on, Mo. You know I’m not going to let this go.” The orange disinfectant that was her curiosity concurred as she tried to dissect me with her gaze.

“You really don’t want to know.” Her skills of observation were for naught as I deployed a poker face so devoid of emotion a pony might think my carapace was stone.

“I’ll be the judge of that.” Her lips pursed in dissaproval, and I whimpered realizing there was no way out.

“Fine…. It’s—”

We entered the next room and I flinched at the sudden escalation of leather in the air. There was a low lying fog surrounding us, while the ceiling and walls were painted deep blue and had little lights denoting the stars in the sky. The faintest scent of sweat and musk filled the air – too small for a Twilight to detect, thankfully, but I knew she was about to be sensing other things.

“Oh. Eww… Now I can’t get the taste out of my mouth.” Twilight whined, glancing about. “Is that… Sunset Shimmer’s coat? Why is it raining— Sweet Celestia, Sunset wears leather. I’m tasting leather – as in the tanned hide of an animal. I’m tasting the tanned hide of an animal, and you told me that leather usually means lust. Things happened in this room. Possibly in this very boat.” Her horn glowed, and I suddenly felt remarkably fresh – like I’d just taken a bath.

“Nope. Not enough. Can’t scrub the pictures in my head with a cantrip.” She crawled on top of me, trying to avoid touching the boat in any fashion. “I’m not sure if it’s worse or not that Applejack and Rainbow Dash might be responsible. The other option is some random couple I don’t know.”

I slowly shifted, trying to provide Twilight safety from the cootie infested room. This was the problem with some ponies preferring the risk of being caught, ve supposed. It could freak the catchee out and completely ruin the mood. I was simply glad that we were in a different boat. I couldn’t smell the deed on our transport, after all. I would have told Twilight as much, but she was clinging to me so tightly I knew she wouldn’t believe me.

And so we inched through the room, Twilight on top of me. She glanced about nervously, fidgeting and twitching occasionally, and – all things considered – she handled it rather well. Ve, honestly, expected much more rubbery embarrassment than she put out. As we entered the tunnel on the other side of the room, I nudged her to let her know it was time to get off, but she decided to cling even tighter.

“Twilight, seriously.” I sighed, canceling the spell. “If this is how you’re going to react to lust, I’m not going to cast this spell on you again. It’s an emotion that happens. Rainbow actually tastes of it a lot, and you know she doesn’t just throw herself at Applejack in front of us.”

I nudged her again. “Now calm down and snuggle up. We want ponies to think we’re a healthy couple. Imagine what ponies will think if we leave the ride like this – you on top of me.” She squeaked, quickly getting off and trying to lean against me like before. It was far less comfortable with her twitching every few seconds.

Eventually, however, she calmed down, and I got back to enjoying the meal.

Blood is Denser Than Water (Twilight) Part 1

Summer's End (Morpheus) Part 4

Next, we rode rides. The experience was interesting to say the least.

No. That’s a lie. Actually, it was downright terrifying on the screaming death traps Pinkie had gotten the fair.

My chitin was bone white as we exited from the Round Up roller coaster. “I’ll take a ride that isn’t the demonic hybrid spawn of classic carnival rides, please.”

Twilight scrutinized her list with a scrunched face – tongue poking out of the side of her mouth. “I don’t think we have many of those.”

“Is there something that’s not a screaming metal death trap?” I looked back at the monstrosity we had just faced frowning.

“Well, Pinkie was in charge of most of the rides this year, so…” Twilight smiled sheepishly.

I sighed, wings flicking as I slowly returned my chitin to its natural black luster. “If that’s the case, I’d rather just go back to the tunnel of love.”

“Nope!” Twilight sputtered, trying to hide her mild blush behind her list. “No way we’re headed back there. We can just…” She hastily browsed the list. “Aha! We’ll go and watch Trixie’s show! It’s late enough that her puppet shows are over for the day and she’s getting ready for one of the magic shows.”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie?” I arched an eyebrow. “Ve thought you two were on less than stellar terms.”

“Oh…” Twilight waved a hoof dismissively. “She’s not that bad once you get to know her. Really. She’s a natural at stage magic and illusions, so I know you’ll just love her.”

“I guess if you want to, then.” I shrugged. “Oh! Can I disguise myself as her and bluster my way into being a volunteer from the audience?” A flash of emerald flames and fireworks set me up to help prove my point. “Behold! The Great and Powerful Trixie will both amuse and bemuse you by sawing her lesser half in half— she means, quarters!”

Several ponies jumped at my sudden shift in form and the green pyrotechnics accompanying it. Everypony on the block stared in silence for a moment before a series of snickers broke through the crowd.

Twilight outright laughed at the sight, but shook her head no even as she giggled. “I don’t know…. While I’m pretty sure Trixie wouldn’t mind the attention, I wouldn’t want it to end up embarrassing her somehow. That was why I told the triplets not to transform into anypony.”

A burst of flames returned me to my original form, yet I was unwilling to completely relent. “If we get there first we could always ask her.”

“We could,” Twilight nodded, “but, if she did have a problem with it, don’t you think just asking could harm your first impression?”

“True….” I scowled and several ponies squeaked. The chances of the two events being linked were highly probable. “Ve suppose it would be safer to simply watch, then.”

“Twilight, there you are!” Trixie latched onto Twilight and I with inequine speed and pulled us both into her wagon as we neared.

“I almost thought you weren’t coming to any of my shows.” She sighed – momentarily dropping the confident facade – before flaring her cape and tossing her head haughtily in the air. “Yet here you are, as Trixie knew you would be! Now, the Great and Powerful Trixie has need of your changeling!”

Both Twilight and I blinked several times before snickering.

“And I thought she might not want your help if you offered.” Twilight snorted. “Guess I was the one being paranoid for once.” She looked to at the showmare. “What do you need him for?”

“I took Manuel to Fluttershy’s for the dental work I owe him, and Fluttershy mentioned some manticore friend of hers to him, and apparently they’re family, so he called in his vacation early to go galavanting about the Everfree.” The magician latched onto Twilight again, knocking a small table with books over in the cramped confines of the wagon. “Now Trixie has no manticore for her Moonshot Manticore Mouth Dive! That trick has been my calling card since Starlight helped teach me to pull it off! Help me, Twilight! You’re my only hope!”

“Don’t you mean I’m you’re only hope?” I arched an eyebrow.

“Psssht!” Trixie dismissed my comment with a wave. “As Trixie hears it, Princess Twilight keeps you on a tight leash with a whip in hoof.”

Twilight groaned and my eyebrow rose further. “As far as ve’re aware, that wasn’t in any of the rumors found by my agents. Ve would be most interested in knowing who told you that.”

A soft glow illuminated Trixie’s dresser as a small, slightly crumpled, magazine was drawn out. The cover showed a clearly edited photo of Twilight in faux leather holding a riding crop.

“Trixie… Is that a copy of the Equestrian Inquirer?” Twilight facehoofed. “No, Trixie. Just no. How could you possibly believe that dribble? That’s the same magazine that claims I’m Celestia’s secret lovechild every other month.”

“It’s a very hit or miss magazine!” Trixie stomped her hoof into the wagon’s floor.

I snorted. “Perhaps, but it gets about one hit every five hundred stories – a veritable needle in a haystack. Even ve don’t look into it for those small nuggets of actual information.”

“But… But… Whatever!” The showmare huffed – head thrown mightily back – and her cape flared in the non-existent wind once more. “The point is that the Great and Powerful Trixie requires a replacement manticore!”

“Yeah….” I rubbed the back of my head. “Ve’re not sure what you were expecting, but non-equine creatures are really hard to sell. I can do inanimate objects a bit easier as long as they’re relatively solid – like a ball or a rock – but anything with movement tends to fall apart without an immense amount of effort and energy to maintain the illusions and transfigurations.”

The magician hummed. “Trixie supposes, if your disguise is in fact a combination of illusion and transfiguration magic, too much disparity between the two halves might destabilize the whole spell.”

I nodded. “If you want an actual manticore? Yes. Either that or I’d burn myself out in seconds without some serious love fueling me. I could get by with a more glamour-heavy base, but it would have all the standard weaknesses that come with illusions, too.”

“Of course…” Trixie hung her head. “I should have known better than to get my hopes up….”

“Hold on, now. I didn’t say I couldn’t help you.” I bared my fangs in a grin. “What would you say to a new trick nopony has ever seen before? I can promise you it’ll net some big attention.”

“Trixie does like being the center of attention.” The showmare shuddered at my words and smile in a mix of sweet joyous anticipation and sour fear. When the adrenaline kicked in, her body settled on interpreting the two as euphoric, and she giggled. “Yes. Yes, Trixie does. Tell the Great and Powerful Trixie this plan of yours.”

My grin grew. “Well, there are these three triplets…”

Twilight and I applauded with the rest of the audience as Trixie set forth a flock of doves from her hat. The majority of ponies were too distracted from the rain of pristine white feathers to notice the birds disappeared a set distance from Trixie’s stage. I, however, could appreciate the seamless way the glamourous doves melted into the feathers Trixie had actually thrown from her hat.

As the crowd cheered, Trixie took a bow – sending her hat through a grand sweeping gesture that took it under her cloak, through the hidden trapdoor ve were ninety-five percent sure was there, and replacing it with an identical hat primed for a new trick. All in one smooth motion.

And the doves were just the latest trick of a wondrous show of subtle illusions augmenting basic stagecraft.

“For Trixie’s next trick, she will need an audience member!”

Several fireworks accompanied the announcement as all the foals – and plenty of foal-like adults – clamoured to be picked. Ponies hopped up and down and flailed their forelegs about as the Great and Powerful Trixie scrutinized them all just long enough for them to reach a fervor end pitch. Humming and hawing, she squinted with exaggerated focus, finally pointing to a small blue-white unicorn colt.

“You! The Great and Powerful Trixie requires you to pick a card! Any card!”

From within her ‘totally-still-the-same’ hat, she produced a deck of cards featuring a crescent moon motif. Splaying them like a fan – facedown – before the colt, she patiently waited for him to stop bouncing with glee.

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

And waited.

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!”

And waited.

“Yes! Yes! Ye—"

“Sweetie, dear, she wants you to pick a card.” The colt’s mother nudged gently with her muzzle and smiled sheepishly at Trixie.

“Yes! Yes! Yes!” Three more hops. “This one! I pick this one!” He yanked at least five cards from the deck, looked them all over, and put four of them back. “This one! I want the—"

“Please don’t tell Trixie your card yet!” Trixie smiled as if absolutely nothing was wrong even as we tasted the heated spices of frustration. “The Great and Powerful Trixie needs you to memorize it and place it back in the deck, please!”

The colt stared at the card intently, tongue sticking out to the side as he scrunched his face. After an entire minute of this, he put the card back in – completely oblivious to the impatient murmurs from the crowd. “Alright, I’m good!”

Levitating the cards back to the stage, Trixie deftly shuffled them with dexterous hooves that’d leave many an earth pony and pegasi jealous. As she finished shuffling them, she tossed them outwards in a controlled explosion of telekinetic finesse – each of the many cards floating in a veritable solar system of cards orbiting around her.

“Is…” she reached out, frowning in concentration before snatch one of the many satellites surrounding her, “...this your card?”

Her assistant shook his head. “Umm… I can’t remember?”

Trixie stared for a moment – the heat of anger beginning to build behind her smile – until the mother spoke up.

“I’m so sorry, Miss Trixie, but he chose the princess of hearts, not the nine of stars.” The mare squeaked as the crowd continued to murmur at the foal’s words.

“Aha! You mean, this princess of hearts?!” Trixie peeled back the nine of stars to reveal the princess of hearts behind it. I barely managed to catch sight of the flicker of illusion covering the joker – or rather the spirit, as this was an Equestrian deck – with an image of the princess of hearts.

Applause rang out once more as Trixie gathered the cards back together and handed the deck to her volunteer. “Thank you for your help. Please, take this deck to remember the occasion by. The Great and Powerful Trixie promises you that practicing your own tricks long enough will one day make you as great and powerful as Trixie herself.”

“Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!”

The colt exploded in energetic hops once more as his mother smiled gratefully. The sweet taste of the ecstatic foal almost completely masked the heat of Trixie’s emotions mellowing to a pleasant warmth as her smile grew wistful. The showmare tasted of fine spiced wine heated to the perfect temperature. She briefly looked at the colts flank – telling us exactly what she was recalling – but, as no mark appeared on the colt, she returned her attention to the audience, cape flaring as fireworks flew.

“Behold, though! For the Great and Powerful Trixie has one final trick she wishes to share with you!”

The violet velvet-lined box that was wheeled on stage had been hastily fabricated by Twilight for Trixie according to my specifications. Unbeknownst to the audience, it was currently filled with three highly compressed triplets hiding in a concealed compartment in the bottom of the box.

“Trixie is quite sure you all are familiar with the the ‘sawing a pony in half’ trick, but she promises you that you have never seen it like this! Look into the box, and see with your own eyes that it is empty!”

Standard procedure to sell the trick, of course. Those who knew the inner workings of the trade would expect there to be a hidden compartment, but those with an eye for such things would see a box too small for a hidden compartment to be feasible. As the box was turned upright once more, I received a message spell confirming that the Echo triplets were moving into position.

As the Great and Powerful Trixie climbed into the box, her hooves, head, and tail emerged from the holes in the box and wriggled to show they were alive and well – her horn purposely not glowing – before she levitated several razor sharp sheets of metal from beside her and jammed the first two through the box such that she was supposedly bisected laterally.

Again, her legs, head, and tail wriggled for emphasis as she pulled the two halves of her body apart before levitating the other four sheets up and driving them into her lower half and splitting that box into thirds. There were now four boxes – one for her upper half, one for her left hind leg, one for her right hind leg, and one for her tail.

This was the point I noticed several ponies tilting their heads in the crowd as – not even counting the lack of room for a concealed compartment – the current arrangement of boxes holding her hindquarters and tail were too small to hold another pony to act as her disembodied limbs. With the sheets in place, her horn was no longer glowing – meaning there was no illusion in place – and the wriggling of the limbs were too life-like to be simple prosthetics. It was highly unlikely that they’d consider the idea of three extra compressed changelings acting as the three separate hind appendages, making the trick seem impossible – for now at least.

Of course, the majority of the crowd would be unable to appreciate the so-called impossibilities of the trick, but Trixie struck us as a showmare who knew how important reputation was – be it professional respect among her peers or the audience’s adoration. Those few who truly understood the subtle majesty to what she had done would talk, and, with a little luck, that talk would reach the right ponies and help her reputation significantly.

Of course, it didn’t hurt that I planned to send an infiltrator or two to spread those rumors myself. I wasn’t comfortable with getting free seats to the show, and it was the least I could do for the showmare after seeing her performance tonight.

Well, that and assigning her three more harvesters to act as assistants and repeat the trick in other shows, but, really, that was more of a business deal than a favor. Ve had a feeling those harvesters would end up reaping a lot of love and adoration from fans.

The cool sensation of Twilight's muzzle prodded me, and I blinked – realizing I had lost myself in our musing while Trixie had wrapped up the show and finished the trick. Everypony was applauding except for me – which I hastily rectified by adding my own hooves to the thunderous stomping of hooves.

“Thank you! Thank you!” The showmare bowed. “The Great and Powerful Trixie appreciates your patronage and wishes to remind you she will be here all week should you seek an encore!”

Standing, she walked to the curtain. “If you will excuse Trixie, however, she will be taking a break for an hour or so to meet with a friend. Tell all your friends and family that the next show is at eight!”

As the crowd of ponies dispersed – muttering excitedly to themselves – Twilight and I walked back around to Trixie’s wagon. Trixie burst from her home as we approached, squeezing as she picked me up and whirled me around in a hug.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” She dragged us both into the wagon before we drew any more stares. “This is going to do wonders for my reputation! I saw at least three scouts out in the audience scratching their heads! I can’t possibly repay you enough for helping me tonight, but the least I can do is pay for dinner.”

She finally released me, but the world kept spinning. “There’s this stand about three rows down that makes the best carrot dogs. Even better, it’s right next to Colouratura’s stand— You know Colouratura, right? She mentioned you and Applejack when we first met, but that’s not the point. She owes me a favor, and her show is in ten minutes, so we can probably grab both dinner and a show.”

Twilight giggled, settling me with a wing. “That sounds great, Trixie. I didn’t even know Rara was in town.”

“She lets you call her Rara?” Trixie’s eyes widened.

“It’s not that big a deal….” Twilight smiled sheepishly. “Applejack is the one who really knows her. I’m more like a friend by association.”

“Still—" Trixie laughed,some of her bravado returning "—it’s just another milestone for Trixie to cross if she is ever going to catch up to you.”

Twilight chuckled weakly. “I’ve told you. It’s not a competition.”

“Debatable.” Trixie smirked and I tasted cotton candy that left an itchy burning sensation in my heart. Happiness. Jealousy. Minor irritation.

It had to be hard trying to keep up with Twilight Sparkle, and I couldn’t help but admire her tenacity. As we began to walk to the carrot dog stand, I let the showmare banter with Twilight, just quietly watching the two of them catch up with a smile on my face.

I sank my fangs into the last carrot dog and an explosion of flavor met my taste buds. Sweet, buttery, carrot flesh all but melted with little resistance – ripped apart to mix with the tang of a spicy mustard mixed with cinnamon. It was absolutely delicious, and I was only slightly guilty for ordering four. Ve would have worried about impinging upon Trixie’s generosity, but that ship had long sailed after Twilight ordered ten – ravenously tearing into them as they came off the grill.

“That was so good….” Twilight sighed, fresh burbling contentment radiating from her.

“Trixie told you.” The showmare smirked as she walked up and pointing towards a large voluminous tent visible from several lanes over. “That’s Colouratura’s tent. Trixie took the liberty of procuring us front row tickets while you two were pigging out. Couldn’t get a word in edgewise with all the carrots flying.”

“They were really good, alright?” I felt emerald green creeping up my neck. Perhaps I had impinged a bit on her generosity then. I should have at least kept up my manners.

“So you’ve said.” Trixie giggled, leading us along the lanes.

We quickly made it to our next stops entrance and walked in to find the place packed and then some. A wall of flesh stood between us and the stage, but Trixie bumped her way through the crowd without a second of hesitation. Twilight and I hesitantly followed and tried not to lose sight of Trixie.

Finally, we made it to a section up front that was roped off. Trixie was talking to one of the beefiest bouncers ve had ever seen, waving some sort of pass before him. The giant seemed to be glowering in suspicion until we appeared – nodding reluctantly, but letting us pass.

There were actual cushions for us to sit on in the VIP section, and Twilight and I gratefully flopped down in them after having to press through the crowd. It seemed we were just in time too, as the lights dimmed seconds later.

There was the thunder of hooves applauding as a spotlight lit upon a pony seated at a piano. She was a pale blue-green – almost white – and had an incredibly curly dark purple mane with teal highlights.

She smiled at the crowd and waved, waiting for the applause to die down so she could speak. “Last time I was in Ponyville, you all helped me realize what Svengallop was doing to me. This time, I’m back as myself with a manager who sees me for me.”

There was scattered cheering, but she waved it down. “As some of you know, I’ll be releasing a new album soon called Chasing Perfection. What you may not know is a lot of the songs in it were inspired by my new manager – who has become a near and dear friend to me over my latest tours. Tonight, I’m going to share one of those songs with you, because Ponyville helped me to become who I am today. It’s a little different than I’m used to, but I hope you’ll come to enjoy it as much as I have.”

The thunder of applause filled the room once more, quickly quieting as Colouratura readied herself at the piano. The melodic tinkling of keys filled the air, mesmerizing us all even as she opened her mouth to sing

“I remember when I was a filly~ With all those hopes and dreams~ Wanting notoriety~ To find my own Prince Charming~

“And here I am today!~ As the music starts to play!~ My family’s in the crowd!~ The cheering oh-so loud!~ And I’m missing just one thing~ That tell-tale hoop and ring~

“For love is a fickle beast!~ It’s smooth as smoke~ Like a silken web~ It traps you in its wicked snare~ Drifts away when you care~ Is both foul and fair~

“I still remember that day~ My perfect stallion was taken away~ His heart no longer mine~ He cast me to the side~ And still I trudge on~ Just keep singing my song~

“For love is a fickle beast!~ It’s smooth as smoke~ Like a silken web~ It traps you in its wicked snare~ Drifts away when you care~ Is both foul and fair~

“I still remember that day~ She came to take him away~ With naught but a look~ A kiss was all it took~ She put him under her spell~ Had him hear wedding bells~

“For love is a fickle beast!~ It’s smooth as smoke~ Like a silken web~ It traps you in its wicked snare~ Drifts away when you care~ Is both foul and fair~

“For love is a fickle beast!~ It’s smooth as smoke~ Like a silken web~ It traps you in its wicked snare~ Drifts away when you care~ Is both foul and fair~

“For love is a fickle beast!~ it’s smooth as smoke~ Like a silken web~ It traps you in its wicked snare~ Drifts away when you care!~ Is both foul and fair!~”

As she finished there were a few moments of silence before the crowd burst into thunderous applause once more. Colouratura rose to the take a bow before pulling a rather serious looking grey pegasus mare with glasses on stage and all but forcing her to take a bow.

“Everypony, this is my manager, Crystal Wing!”

The applause continued, causing the business mare to momentarily blush before storming off stage. After several more minutes of applause, ponies finally began to filter out. It being too loud to talk without screaming in the tent, Trixie motioned for us to follow her out.

The sky was turning a mix of oranges and purples as we made it out, and, with a sigh at the sight, Trixie bowed. “I’m sorry, but it’s time for me to head back and prepare for my next show.”

“It’s alright.” Twilight hugged Trixie. “We had fun, right, Mo?”

“Indeed.” I nodded. “You are a most skilled illusionist, and a generous friend. Ve believe you are far closer to Twilight Sparkle than you give yourself credit for – if not quite in the same way. I can only hope I learn to be as good a friend as you’ve been today.”

Trixie beamed, hugging us both one more time before running off with a wave.

Twilight chuckled as she watched Trixie go. “You’re both closer than you think, Mo. Try not to forget that.”

The Ferris wheel had taken me higher than ve’d thought possible. The air was so thin it was almost a challenge to breath, and we were well and truly alone far above the rest of the fair. The moon seemed large enough to reach out and touch, while the tents below were so far away as to seem like nothing but a sea of flickering fires and gaudy colors.

Twilight and I looked up at the stars, nestled together. She held a wing over my back to keep me warm. I modified my internal chemistry, causing minor exothermic reactions so I might return the favor.

Every so often, she would point to a constellation and tell me the story behind it. I would nod and listen – even though ve knew it already. Occasionally, she’d ask me about our own constellations, and I’d point out one of the few ve could remember. There had been many more once – memoirs of our greatest heroes who passed the Azure Veil – but time had not been kind to our memory of them.

Perhaps it came from the fact that noling had been deemed worthy enough to be added to their ranks in centuries – turning it into a dying practice full of dying memories. Twilight seemed to enjoy what ve could remember, though, so I determined to see if ve might restore them somehow.

Twilight had bribed the operator with the rest of our tickets to keep us up for as long as he could, and we got a solid half an hour of stargazing, but eventually it had to end. The non-euclidian journey back down was long with other ponies having made similar bribes, but it allowed us to have more time to stargaze – even if it was from less strategic positions.

At roughly one in the morning we were still only three-quarters of the way down, and Twilight decided to fall asleep – drooling on my shoulder. It was not fun having to drag her back to Castle, but the rest of the fair was closed by then, and I couldn’t ask Hera for help because she had to chase down the reporter who got a picture of me carrying Twilight off the Ferris Wheel.

It was worth it for the view, though.

Blood is Denser Than Water (Twilight) Part 2

Blood is Denser Than Water (Twilight) Part 1

Changing Times’ Notes: Princess Twilight once told me that that Pinkie threw a funeral for her the day after her coronation. When I asked why, she said it was because becoming a princess meant becoming a politician. This, of course, lead to me asking what that had to do with anything, and the only responses I could get were the vaguest musings that Pinkie Pie was being Pinkie Pie.

Looking back on this report, though, I think I might understand the why a little better now.

Blood is Denser Than Water: A Report by Princess Twilight Sparkle

So Morpheus told you about the Summer’s End Festival last time, but he may have neglected to mention that somepony somehow got a picture of him carrying me home that night. The headlines had not been pretty, and ponies had been coming from across Equestria to see me – many of them bringing their so-called problems with the changelings to me. I didn’t have a court nor a guard at the time, yet they came time and again thinking they could sneak a private audience to convince me of the evils of changelings.

Princess that I was, I couldn’t turn them away – especially if it gave me a chance to show them the error of their ways – yet it kept me busy for weeks after the fair. A decent amount of the following month kept me trapped in a perpetual state of politely declining officials’ requests to remove or eradicate the ‘changeling menace.’

I sighed internally once more, giving up on trying to explain the situation as it was clear the mayor of Manehattan didn’t want the truth. “I don’t know what you want me to say, Mayor Pencil Pusher. Iron Charger has always been a changeling. I can’t give you the real one, because there is no actual star hoofball player named Iron Charger. From what I understand, a few harvesters will sometimes go into sports to collect the adoration of their fans.”

“Yes. Yes. He explained that to the reporters.” Pencil Pusher – who was large enough to push plenty more than pencils – frowned. “I’ve known Iron since college, though. We played for years together before he went pro and I moved on to politics. I refuse to believe that thing currently playing for the team was the same pony I knew.”

I smiled without really meaning it. The ten previous attempts to explain this were wearing me thin. “Well, have you tried talking to him about it instead of jumping straight to me? That’s what I’d do if I had a friendship problem like this.”

I desperately tried not to massage my temples in frustration. Finding the urge to restlessly twitch too high, I reached out and grabbed one of the brownies the duke before me had so thoughtfully provided – the only positive note about the meeting. Chewing bought me more time, but, in the end, I still needed to provide an answer.

“Duke Brown Nose, there’s really not much I can do. Negotiations are all about compromising, and the Hive of the First Father shouldn’t have to relocate their harvesters from your duchy just because they no longer have to pay local taxes. As of this time, they aren’t citizens. Some of the more irksome nobles have even been arguing they don’t even have rights as they never officially attended the Warmblut conventions.”

I sipped tersely from my tea as I tried not to glare across the map at him. He was at least pretending to be civil, after all, and his greed could actually prove useful here. At least he didn’t care where the money came from – pony or changeling.

“Treating a millennia old treaty as word of goddess. We didn’t even know the breezies then! If you really want them putting money in your coffers again, the only real solution is to help me pass the legislation making them citizens – assuming I get to even propose it, of course. You know quite well how most of the House of Lords and House of Commons are taking things, and don’t even get me started on the Senate.”

Duke Brown Nose nodded with all the false amicability his name implied – although there was in fact a splotch of brown fur on his nose. I didn’t trust him as far as I could throw him, but enough ponies were coming to me with their fears and complaints that I needed all the support I could get in calming the general populace down.

I looked at the mare before me, eyebrow arched. Morpheus had mentioned some of what she had done before she arrived in Ponyville, but I had thought he’d been exaggerating. “You mean to tell me that your head butler – who has served your family for forty odd years and helped raise you from foalhood by your own admission – revealed his identity as a changeling and you threw him in the stocks.”

I couldn’t help but use the ‘To the Sun’ voice, and the mare melted before me like quivering jello.

“It was the only thing we had on hoof at the country estate….” The mare squeaked, tea cup trembling as she tried to take a sip as protocol demanded.

I sighed, too tired to try and keep my facade from slipping. “I suppose it’s not the worst reaction there’s been. You stopped at one – unlike Stablem. You are going to go and release him immediately, though, or, Celestia help me, I will put you in the stocks for an hour and see how you like it!”

Castle actually had those, although they had built in massagers and velvet lining. When I had asked why he needed such things, he mentioned something about having to build them for my brother and I wisely shut up on the matter. They definitely weren’t something I’d ever want to use, but Prim Rose didn’t know that, and I was really irked this time.

“Thank you so much for understanding.” I smiled wearily at Fancypants – letting my mask completely drop for a moment. “A lot of other nobles and politicians have been just so…” I trailed off while trying to think of a word that didn’t sound insulting.

“Say no more, Miss Twilight.” No royal title. Only the tiniest bow – just enough to be respectful while not making me uncomfortable. This was why I liked Fancypants. “And again, I do apologize for taking your time, but I came precisely for that reason. Several of the cliques I associate with were growing antsy, and I felt it would be best to come represent them all myself.” He chuckled, rising from his seat to head for the door. “I figured if it helps cut down Princess Celestia’s workload it would be even more helpful for you, no offense.”

“None taken.” I shook my head. “I’m not sure I would have lasted if anypony else had come. I really needed to see some ponies are actually willing to listen.”

“Good! Good!” He stomped a hoof for emphasis. “I really must be off, though. It’s my anniversary with Fleur in a week, and I wanted to order some gifts from Rarity while I was here. If I’m lucky, I’ll reach the boutique just before she closes for lunch.

“Say hello for me, then.” I waved as he left, pulling my relatively new and sadly neglected Daring Do book from the shelf. Opening it slowly, reverently, I began to read.

Then the all too familiar knock of hoof on crystal rang through the halls once more.

Huffing, I set the book on my desk and stood from the chair I had been resting in. Summoning a mirror, I cast a cantrip to spruce myself up once more. They were fading faster and faster as the weeks of meeting with politicians and nobles went on, but I had actually managed a shower today before Fancypants arrival. I was all but guaranteed to look fabulous for the next few hours, although hopefully I wouldn’t need that long to sort out whoever was at the door.

Daintily carrying myself through Castle – for practice, of course – I managed to make it so not a feather was out of place. Before the door, the knock came impatiently again, and I hesitated momentarily. Finally, I ruffled my wings and ran a hoof through my mane. I could do this. I was Princess Twilight Sparkle, and I was not going to let things get to me.

Smiling amicably I opened the door to find the last noble I ever wanted to deal with.

“Princess Twilight.” Prince Blueblood bowed his head.

“One second!” I squeaked and slammed the door on him. There was a yelp as the door presumably hit his snoot, and I flew through the hallways until I reached Morpheus’s room.

Barely acknowledging Hera’s tense salute as I barreled past her through the door, I pointed accusingly at Morpheus. “Nope! Not dealing with him! It’s your turn to do this! Quick, turn into me and go answer the door!”

He frowned. “And you were doing so well. Who could have possibly—” He blinked. “Oh, Spi just messaged me that Prince Blueblood is poking around the grounds. That would explain it.”

He stood from his desk and rolled up the maps on it before putting them away. There was a flash of emerald flames, and I was looking at myself. He— She? He opened his mouth and my voice was the one that came out. “I can handle this one. Just wait for me to get him settled so he won’t stumble onto the ruse.”

As the doors to Castle closed behind me, the loud, obnoxious, pompous whine of hot air trickling from a mouth-sized hole in a head as big as Mount Canter was thankfully silenced. I felt only a little guilty for leaving Mo to his fate. In fact, I felt more guilty for leaving Blueblood with Morpheus than for leaving Morpheus with Blueblood. I had heard enough stories of the changeling lords to know Mo could probably eat Blueblood for lunch, both metaphorically and literally.

I was off to Rarity’s, though, for a lunch of my own. With luck, I’d catch her and Fancypants before they headed out, and, if I didn’t, there were only so many places Rarity would take Fancypants in Ponyville.

It was a bright sunny day, yet the cobblestones beneath my hooves were cool. The air was cool and crisp – with a playful breeze nipping at my withers – and the leaves on the trees were a myriad of colors.

Soon it would be time for the Running of the Leaves again, and I was curious where the changelings would fall – if they ran, that is. I had figured if Mo ran the others would jump at the chance, and had been dropping hints that I’d be running in the hopes that Mo would join, but he hadn’t mentioned anything so far.

Perhaps I would just ask him directly and claim it as a ‘date.’

Regardless, reaching Rarity’s Boutique, I found I was too late. The open sign had been flipped to closed, and a small note was tacked to the door. Immaculate cursive script confirmed that Rarity was indeed ‘out to lunch’ and gave the restaurant she was visiting in case of ‘fashion emergency.’

Welp. It seemed she was at Leroux’s. That was on the other side of town if I remembered right, so it was probably better to take the skies.

Unfurling my wings, I launched myself from the ground let the breeze carry me across town – gliding rather than flying to avoid exerting myself. Leroux’s was probably the second fanciest restaurant in town, after all, and it was only rated second because because being griffon owned hurt its standing for some reason.

“Ah, Princess Twilight! It is great to see you again!” The griffon handling the surprisingly large line of ponies waved to me as I landed. “Allow me to get you your table.”

“I’m sorry. Do I know you?” I tilted my head to the side.

“No, but you know my brother in the loosest sense.” The waiter laughed. “He and I are working here to save up enough to open up a pub. You bought from his stand during the Summer’s End Festival.”

“Oh!” I smiled, recalling a griffon with black feathers and a grey pelt. “Sorry. I didn’t know he was local. I can see the family resemblance, though. Are you both from the Isles?”

“Born and raised!” The griffon laughed. “Had to leave for a fancy culinary school in Léon, though. That’s why we’re here at Leroux’s – wanted to do our internship abroad.”

“From the Griffish Isles to Léon to Equestria?” I giggled. “You’re certainly more well-traveled than most ponies I know. I’d sort of expect you in the kitchen, though, with how good your fish was.”

“Bah! Peasant food!” A large, rotund, and very red griffon waddled out the door. “Very good peasant food, but peasant food nonetheless. Is why I – Louis Leroux – pay for them to participate in events like the Summer’s End Festival. They make very good carnival faire, but their real talent is wasted at Leroux's. Better to overwork and overpay them by having them take all the non-cook positions so they might buy that pub of theirs one day.”

He rolled over to glower at the waiter. “Speaking of which, I do not pay you to talk to the customers, poissonnier!” He gestured to the line of ponies behind me. “We have too many to allow it these days!”

He beamed at me like I was a prime cut of fatty meat – which was probably praise given both his girth and profession. “All thanks to you, of course, mademoiselle. Or should I say Princesse?”

“No fancy titles, please. The chef should always be the ruler of his kitchen.” I shook my head thinking of Spike before tilting it in curiosity over his thanks. “If I may be so bold, though. What exactly did I do?”

“You ate fish prepared by my poissonnier, mademoiselle!” The griffon jiggled like pudding as he roared with laughter. “Did you believe it would go unnoticed? Half the nation is vying to try the newest trend – meat – and Leroux’s is one of the few establishments in Equestria to serve such faire. Business is through the roof, and you will always have a seat here because of it!”

“Oh….” I smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of my head. “I didn’t realize I’d started a culinary revolution. I was just here to see if I could catch a friend.” I looked down the line. “By any chance did you already let one Fancypants and Rarity in?”

“Fancypants… Fancypants…” Leroux muttered.

“I believe I just let them in, sir.” The waiter puffed his chest out. “Fancypants was on the VIP list, so I let him and Miss Rarity right in. I can take Princess Twilight to them if you wish.”

“Non! Non! The mademoiselle said we were not to use her title!” A very thick talon left a resounding meaty smacking noise as it hit the waiter between his wings.

Everypony – myself included – flinched, although I didn’t speak up at the sight. Everypony else murmured, but I had read enough about griffons to know that was just a pat on the back. Probably hadn’t even tickled with the warrior culture and all that.

Leroux scoffed— squawked? Squawked. “Regardless, poissonnier, take the mademoiselle to her own private table and let her friends join her – not the other way around. It would not do to even indirectly slight our most esteemed guest!”

He beamed at me again. “Not that you seem the type to find such a slight, mademoiselle, but it is the principal of the matter!” He pointed skyward fervently.

“As long as I’m not causing you to go out of your way for me, I have no complaints.” I smiled.

“Non. Non.” The chef waved dismissively. “It is no trouble at all. I have never even needed to use the traditional royal table before – no griffon nobles in Equestria, you see – so, really, you give me the highest honor.”

The waiter bowed. “Now then, Miss Sparkle. If you would follow me to your table and allow me and my brother the honor of serving you?”

I giggled and waved a hoof. “Lead on then.”

The royal table was sized for griffons – not ponies – so it was a mild inconvenience to find myself hardly able to look over the table. It was rather refreshing, however, to see that the table wasn’t specifically for me. It actually was one of the traditional tables to be reserved for griffon royalty.

With that in mind, I took to studying the elaborate carvings placed into the sides – tiny replicas of the old kings of Léon. I couldn’t recall all their names, but I did notice the most ‘modern’ was still several centuries old. This table was an antique. A very expensive antique. A very expensive antique on a raised platform in the very center of the restaurant – placed such that every eye could behold the majesty of its occupants as they feasted above their lessers.

Not that anypony was less than me or anything.

“Twilight, darling, if you wanted to join us, you didn’t have to go through so much trouble!”

There were the others – tiny next to the table. Rarity’s eyes barely cleared the edge, and Fancypants’ muzzle was half obscured. Looking around, I confirmed that I was probably the only pony in the establishment whose head cleared the table.

Wow. That really put all those teeny-tiny alicorn growth spurts in perspective. I’d still be dwarfed by any of the royal griffons this table was usually reserved for, but I had never really considered the implications of the fact that I had grown and was continuing to do so.

One day, I might even be as tall as Celestia, and I wasn’t quite sure how to feel about that.

“I say, I wasn’t expecting the royal treatment when I suggested Leroux’s to Miss Rarity here.” Fancypants bowed his head – oblivious to my internal squirming. “It is good of you to join us, though, Miss Twilight.”

“Well, I would have just joined you, but the manager insisted.” I smiled sheepishly. “Apparently I’m responsible for a rather large influx of business.”

“Indeed.” Fancypants chuckled, levitating several cushions on top of one another so we could sit with a bit more clearance above the table. “I actually brought Miss Rarity here with that in mind. I’ve heard their bouillabaisse is to die for.”

“Would you care for the bouillabaisse then?” The waiter – who had apparently came back at some point – asked with a quiet politeness I was not expecting. I jumped about four hooves high from his interjection, not realizing he’d been behind me, and barely managed to avoid falling to the floor.

Fancypants and Rarity, though, didn’t even flinch.

“Why, yes, my good sir. I will be having a baguette with some brie as an appetizer, the largest bowl of bouillabaisse available, and a glass of one of your finest wines. I have no preferences as to which wine, so surprise me with something appropriate.”

Rarity bit her lip for a moment, eyes glancing through the menu. “The watercress salad actually sounds really good, but I suppose I did come for the meat-eaters experience…. I’ll have the same as Fancypants is having—” she looked to me “—unless you have any suggestions, Twilight?”

I quickly scanned the menu while trying to get my heart rate under control from the waiters entrance. Predators were quiet when they wanted to be. Sweet Celestia, one would think living with changelings would habituate me to such surprises, but apparently not.

“I don’t see anything?” I ruffled my wings. “Honestly, the bouillabaisse sounds really— Oh my gosh. They have escargot. I remember Sunset writing me that she really liked the escargot when she went on a big date in the human world. Then, I told her what escargot probably translated to, and she promptly swore to never eat something foreign without the translation ever again.”

“And what is escargot?” Rarity flipped through the menu to find the appropriate entry.

“Snails....” I hummed in thought as Rarity dropped her menu like a hot potato. “I admit, I’m really curious to know what they taste like.” My face scrunched. “Perhaps an order of the appetizer first, then? I want to make sure I like them before committing to the escargot tortellini. How does that even work anyway?”

“There’s an Istallian stallion in the kitchen who likes to experiment.” The waiter shrugged, momentarily dropping his rigid posture. “The boss loves it, but, personally, I always find snails to be way too rubbery. Kinda makes it hard to enjoy the pasta.”

The shrug turned seamlessly into a bow as he became our waiter once more. “Now, to make sure I’ve gotten everything down. The fine lady and gentlecolt will each be having a baguette with brie, Leroux’s world-famous bouillabaisse, and a glass of wine – chef’s choice. The Princess will be having an order of escargot to start with and will be deciding where to go from there.” He looked at me. “Would you also prefer a wine?”

I bit my lip. “Well… I was fine with water, but I suppose I may as well live a little.”

“Then I shall be off.” He bowed to me again, and I couldn’t help but squirm. Seeing this, he straightened up and at least allowed himself to wave as he departed.

Turning to the others I smiled. “So, how has both of your days been?”

“Impeccable,” Fancypants straightened his monocle, “but, then again, you knew that from when you asked me before.”

“It’s been most wonderful, darling.” Rarity tittered. “It had a bit of a rough start, but it wasn’t anything I couldn’t handle. Not everypony looks good in black and green, you know, so I was up until three in the morning debating just what colors to use for my next line up.”

She squeed. “It’ll be worth all the hassle, though. I mean, there was bound to be a couple other designers who had the same idea I did for their fall lineup. Changelings were bound to be ‘in’ in Canterlot when Celestia announced negotiation – regardless of whether ponies actually supported them or not.”

Rarity smiled the most dazzling of smiles. “I doubt they have the same resources I do for next time, though. Dear Morpheus has just given me so many ideas, and that silk he sold me is going to revolutionize the industry.”

“Silk?” Fancypants arched his brow.

“Yes! Changeling silk!” The smile went from dazzling to blinding. “I don’t want to spoil anything, but suffice it to say the good Prince Morpheus has allowed me to be the first to break into the market with what might be the single most flexible material I’ve ever seen!”

“Well, that sounds wonderful, my dear!” Fancypants chuckled. “I wonder, though. If it’s as flexible as you say… do you think I’d be able to use it in one of my other businesses? Obviously, I’ll need to wait until your next debut to work it into my own clothing lines, but I own several hospitals that would be interested in a new generation of gauze, and the airship industry is always looking for new kinds of cloth or rope to experiment with.”

“I must confess I’m not entirely sure.” Rarity hummed. “The manual Morpheus gave me did mention building purposes for it, but I skimmed most of that chapter.”

I should’ve known the answer to this, but research was hard to do with all the nobles banging down my door recently. “I don’t know about ponies, but I have seen it used to treat changeling wounds.” I looked up, pondering. “I’ve also seen it used to make webs and cocoons, so I assume it can be used to fashion rope or a canvas balloon. No idea how well that would work, though.”

“Your appetizers, ladies and gentlecolts.”

Our conversation was put on hold as the server returned. A plate of small speckled shells was placed in front of me – each bubbling like a small cauldron. Levitating one up, I tentatively sniffed the inside before deciding to just go all in. My tongue dove inside the shell to half-suck, half-scoop the snail out of the shell with a schlurp.

Rarity whimpered at the sound, but as the meat hit my tongue I knew I’d made a good choice. A mix of butter and spices splashed onto my taste buds, and the little wriggler all but slithered down my throat with how greasy it was. With a second schlurp – and a second whimper from Rarity – I ate another, taking care to chew this time.

The waiter had been right; they were kind of rubbery.

“Reminds me of the time Sunset took me for kalimari.” I hummed in contentment after swallowing.

“And what’s kalimari, dear?” Rarity asked – no doubt looking for a distraction.

“Squid.” I smirked, knowing I had finally gotten a little payback for all Rarity’s former matchmaking.

“Wha-ha-huh?!”

Oh. Oops. Hadn’t been going for the faint. At least she was on a cushion.

“Can we get some ice for her?” I smiled sheepishly at the waiter. “Also, an order of that escargot tortellini, if you don’t mind. This stuff is great!”

Fancypants monocle fell as I schlurped yet another snail out of its shell.

Blood is Denser Than Water (Twilight) Part 3

Blood is Denser Than Water (Twilight) Part 2

The meal was absolutely delicious – so delicious I may have let my manners get away from me. I might have traumatized several tourists with some very unprincess-like behavior. I adored every course, and my only regret was not having more.

No. There was one other thing I regretted, but that had less to do with the meal and more to do with somepony I saw during the meal.

It was while Rarity was generously paying for everypony’s meal that I noticed him peering through one of the windows – orange coat, blue mane, and a stoic salute as our gazes met. Inwardly groaning, I suppressed the urge to pretend I hadn’t noticed and gave a small wave and smile. Business with Flash was always awkward since the break up, but that was no reason not to be friendly.

Thankfully, Rarity was thoroughly distracted and didn’t notice. She was too busy digging through her saddle bags looking for an appropriate tip – having had just enough bits for the meal itself. Last thing I wanted was her gushing about a love triangle with a long lost flame come to win me back.

Time to excuse myself without making a scene.

“Really, Rarity, it’s fine.” I smiled. “If you’re going to insist on paying for the meal – despite all our protests – then at least let me and Fancypants cover the tip.”

“Quite right.” Fancypants nodded.

“Besides—" I conjured a quill and some ink along with my checkbook "—you’re stressing so much about the bill that the sweat is starting to cause your mane to fray.”

Writing out a decently sized donation to our server’s dream pub, I gave the check to the somewhat nervous griffon shuffling on his appendages beside us. Seeing the sum, he almost fainted. Fancypants likewise hoofed him a check – causing him to actually faint – and I made some vague work related excuse to allow myself to leave as Rarity rushed off to the restroom to obsess over her mane. I knew she wouldn’t be out until she found something wrong with it, and Fancypants was too polite to do anything other than wait to escort her home – even if he was arching an eyebrow at me questioningly – thus I was in the clear to discreetly make my exit.

Stepping outside, I took a look near the window I’d spotted him at only to find nopony there. Typical Flash. He was probably waiting to ambush me on my lonesome as I made my way back to Castle. Easiest way to get him to come out was make sure I was on my own.

And the easiest way to do that was going up.

And up.

And up.

And even further up until I was easily more than half as high as the top of Mount Canter.

Suitably isolated, I pulled some moisture from the air to make a cloud big enough for two and waited for the wallflower to appear. The time it took for such to occur was always five minutes on the dot – a punctuality I had always appreciated. I counted the seconds down while trying – as always – to quiet the butterflies in my stomach. At the ten second mark, I closed my eyes to do Cadance’s breathing exercise.

Three.

Two.

One.

I opened my eyes to see Flash opposite me on the cloud. I hadn’t even heard him land, but that was par for the course with him. Pegasi guards were really quiet when they wanted to be.

“Twilight.” Even sitting, he tried to keep up his rigid posture – only allowing a small nod of familiarity to break it as he greeted me.

“Flash!” I smiled, inwardly wincing at his cool tone. At least he hadn’t gone with Princess like the last few times we met. “I heard from Shiny that you got promoted to captain. What are you doing here?”

He stared at me for a moment, biting his lip. “I— I was sent here on a mission that the Prince didn’t trust anypony else with.”

Odd. He was calling Shiny by his title – and those two were thick as thieves. Ruffling my wings, I gamely kept trying to ignore the awkwardness of everything.

“Oh? What kind of mission? The only thing out here at the moment is the change… lings….” I suddenly felt like such an idiot. Of course my BBBFF wouldn’t just let things go while he stewed in the Empire.

“Shining sent you to secretly guard me, didn’t he.” It was a statement, not a question.

There was a terse nod from Flash. “And to spy on you.”

“Spy on me?” I blinked.

He snorted. “More to spy on the bug than you, but I had orders to ensure you weren’t being mind controlled.”

My brow furrowed. “He’s not a bug!”

Flash gave the teeniest tiniest smile. “And you aren’t mind controlled.”

“And I’m not mind controlled!” It was my turn to snort. “Does Cadance know about this?”

“I was ordered not to tell her,” Flash gave me a pointed look, “but my mission is over and done with, so I no longer need to keep it secret from you.”

I scowled at the cloud beneath me, kneading it with my hooves. The butterflies in my stomach had long since been incinerated to ash, and I had to actively suppress the urge to go give Shining a piece of my mind.

“And why are you telling me?”

Flash stood, saluting. “Because, frankly, this whole mission was a load of horseapples, ma’am. My honest assessment of the situation is that Prince Morpheus means you no harm, and doggedly clinging to the idea that all changelings are a potential threat is more likely to harm you than giving him the benefit of the doubt. Any real changeling threat is just as likely to target him as it is you, so working with him instead of against him is the most sure fire way to protect you.”

I groaned. “Is that really it? You’re still obsessing over protecting me? I told you. I don’t need saving.”

“That changeling assassin would probably beg to differ—" I winced at his reminder of that, and he quickly shifted gears "—but that isn’t why I’m here.” He bit his lip. “Protecting you is just part of the job – a part I was never able to completely turn off.”

Dropping the salute, he bowed his head. “I’ve been watching you and Morpheus, together, for several months, however, and – real relationship or not – I can tell you two actually care for each other. I don’t know how Shining— the Prince is going to react to my report, and it didn’t feel right not to give you fair warning.”

I didn’t know whether to smile at his stoic sincerity or exhale in exasperation at how rigid he insisted on being. “Well, thank you then, I suppose…. Really no reason to be so formal about it, though. For Celestia’s sake, we’re supposed to be friends, and you were never this formal when we were dating.”

He looked up, frowning momentarily before breaking into another microscopically small smile. “We are friends. It’s just hard to remember that sometimes, you know? Not all of us can be the Princess of Friendship.” He stepped off the cloud, plummeting a moment before a silent flap of his wings brought him back up into a hover before me.

“Maybe someday I’ll find somepony else, but, until that day comes, I’m not sure I’ll ever really move on.” His wistful sigh showed the most emotion I’d gotten out of him this entire conversation.

I wanted to say something to that, but he was gone before I could muster a reply. A quick burst of his wings took him soaring away. I almost went after him, but he hit one of the Prevailing Westerlies and shot into the horizon before angling his newfound momentum north with a level of skill and control far beyond my capabilities.

I could probably catch him with teleportation, but it was quite clear he really wanted our conversation to end there, so I simply gave a sigh of my own. “Not really what I was looking for, but I guess I can call that progress.” Sitting up, I squinted into the distance to watch the retreating speck of my ex-coltfriend. “Maybe I should sic Rarity on him? I mean, if he has to find somepony else to move on.”

Shaking my head, I looked down at Ponyville. As much as I hated to admit it, Flash was still a low priority problem. He had been for years. The best solution to his lingering pain was time, and any meddling on my part had a decent chance of backfiring. It wouldn’t do to agonize over the past when I should be focusing on the future – or, in this case, the changelings’ future.

Squinting at my domain, I watched everypony going about their business below me – thinking, planning, scheming how to make the rest of Equestria as okay with the state of things as Ponyville. Everything was calm and orderly despite the knowledge of changelings among us. Only a hurried chase between a hulking black speck and and a suspiciously pompous white speck seemed to be out of—

Oh. Hera was hunting Blueblood. That was g— I mean, that probably wasn’t good. Sighing, I ruffled my wings before beginning the long glide down. Perhaps, if I took my time, the issue would resolve itself.

From a cloud just above the town, I watched the chase unfold – internally debating how to handle things. The issue had not resolved itself. In fact, the situation had merely worsened, as the Cruasders were now also hounding the pompous prince for a comment he’d made made – shrieked, really – as he and Hera passed them. Before I could intervene, however, one very familiar irate purple pony princess, one prickly prince, and one simmering scribe appeared from the direction of Castle.

“Don’t worry. I have it under control.” A bunch of small message spells abruptly buzzed through my mind like a swarm of bees. “Spike was being difficult again. Accidentally spoiled ruse. Not his fault. Left Blueblood alone to talk. Forgot to soundproof room. The pompous ass eavesdropped in. Sloppy methods. Hera did not approve. Sorry for the wait. Needed another sub. Had to get Third Eye. What in the name of— Why are the Crusaders chasing—" The last few messages cut off as Morpheus forgot the word limit upon arriving at the scene.

“What is the meaning of this?!” A magenta aura lit the imposters horn as Third Eye grabbed all those involved in the chase.

“That jerk called Errant a maggot!” A colt with a cream-colored coat and a chocolate-brown mane buzzed his wings in an attempt to lunge through the air. His sister looked just as mad – huffing her frizzy orange curls out her eyes as she picked up a nearby ball and took aim at the prince and threw.

“Pound! Pumpkin!” Third Eye caught the projectile. “This is not the time to make things worse. Apologize.”

The Cake twins muttered half-hearted apologies.

“Little cretins, I called all of you maggots!” Blueblood harrumphed.”Your little game almost got me caught by that thing—" he vehemently pointed at Hera "—and I am rather fond of living! I think I can be forgiven any rudeness when I was trying to avoid getting my throat ripped out!”

Hera snorted. “At no point did I make any promises of bodily harm. I merely said I was going to teach you a lesson.”

“A threat if I ever heard one!” Blueblood haughtily threw his muzzle in the air – much more confident with my apparent appearance. “Go on, then, Sparkle! Do away with this vile little vermin!”

My wings twitched involuntarily. Vermin? Vermin?! Oh, how I suddenly itched to go give Blueblood a piece of my mind and screw the consequences. All earlier reluctance to face him was gone. I had had enough of self-centered officials coming to my town and bothering my friends. The only reason I didn’t swoop down to lecture the little twerp into oblivion was the fact that the changelings below probably deserved the honor more than I did.

Third Eye arched my eyebrow, schooling my face in that calm, expectant, way Celestia had been trying to teach me. “Is this true, Hera?”

“A lesson in proper etiquette, Your Highness.” Hera bowed her head. “I caught him eavesdropping on my lord—" she turned to glare at the unicorn "—very sloppily, I might add. I only wished to educate him in how to properly listen in on a conversation.”

“Ha!” Blueblood sneered. “As if a Princess of Equestria would ever accept such—"

“Of course,” Hera droned on, “when he shrieked like a filly and ran for his so-called life – just because I approached him undisguised – ve came to the conclusion a lesson on context was more in order.”

“You call hunting me through this backwater hamlet a lesson in context.” Blueblood’s temple seemed ready to burst.

“Yes.” Hera saluted my imposter as she gave her a very no-nonsense look. Despite floating several feet off the ground, the warrior somehow made it very professional. “If the prince here had bothered to pay attention, he would have seen I could have caught him at any time, and that I was purposely elongating the pursuit. All he needed to do to cease the chase was realize that – although I could have harmed him – I had no intention of doing so.”

Hera allowed herself a slight shrug – massive shoulders clicking and clacking as they rolled. “If he had simply bothered to stop running, he could have saved himself a great deal of trouble.”

“He still called Errant a maggot.” Pound Cake pouted.

“Enough.” Blueblood rolled his eyes as Third Eye hummed in thought. “Princess Twilight, you cannot possibly be considering this villain’s side of the story.”

“Well… Hera has made a habit of chasing reporters only so long as they ran.” Third Eye glanced about at the various onlookers. “In fact, I’d wager that’s why nopony in town bothered to stop and help you. She’s done this before and never hurt a fly.”

Several towns ponies nodded.

“But I caught her blasted prince pretending to be you!” Blueblood raved. “I had every right to be scared for my life!”

“You found Mo here pretending to be me because I delegated the task to him.” My double deadpanned. “If you had bothered to ask him, you would have found I’ve been quite busy dealing with ponies like you for the past month, and I wanted to take a break from hearing ponies rant why changelings can’t be trusted.”

She ruffled her wings. “You’d think ponies would realize I’m serious about negotiations, but no. Ponies keep coming from all over Equestria to try and lecture me, the Princess of Friendship, on how we can’t possibly be friends with them.”

Closing Prince Blueblood’s dangling mouth, Third Eye deposited everypony on the ground. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I was just reaching the good part of my book, so if you’re done interrupting everypony’s day, please relay all your remaining problems with the negotiations to Morpheus.” She turned and gave the changeling prince an irritatingly long nuzzle before taking to the air.

She looked to a still grumpy Spike as she flew away. “I’m going to need a nice pot of coffee to settle my nerves when we get back....”

Blueblood stared after her retreating form before composing himself with a humph and glowering at Mo. “You have not heard the last of this.”

The lord sighed, covering his face with a hoof. “Yes. Yes. I know how this goes. I regularly deal with changelings much worse than you. I promise I won’t embarrass you too much when you attempt your petty little revenge scheme.”

Blueblood fumed, but said nothing – instead walking away with his snout violently rising skyward.

Morpheus stared after him as he retreated, eyes glassy. As the pompous prince faded from view, though, I landed beside him, and he shook himself from his musings.

“He deserved more of a lecture.” I glared in the general direction Prince Blueblood had headed.

“He’ll get his comeuppance.” Morpheus bared his fangs in a half-hearted grin. “Ve’ve already ordered his cook to put a fly in any meal he orders for the next week and a half. I doubt he’ll enjoy knowing I have him bugged.”

I giggled. “You’re just awful sometimes, you know that?”

He thrummed. “Only when I need to be.”

As my giggles subsided, I sighed. “You know, I almost wish we could do that to my brother. Did you know he sent my ex here to spy on us?”

Mo gave a lazy nod, eyes glassing over. “Yes… ve had gathered as much over the last few months, although it took us awhile to be sure. Wasn’t my place to tell you, though.”

I simply nodded. Figured Mo would know

The prince chirped a mournful little tune on his wings. “Now that he actually told you, though – at least, ve assume he told you given ve had trouble noting and identifying him – I can tell you that the poor fellow was also the cause of the whole kissing booth incident at the Summer’s End Festival. Ekho just couldn’t find it in her to say no to that much heartache.”

I flinched. “Yeah…. He’s having a hard time— Wait! What do you mean he was behind that?”

Morpheus shrugged. “Exactly what it sounds like. He misses you.”

“Most coltfriends would be worried about something other than the pain of an old flame.” I grumbled rather half-heartedly as I recalled the end of my conversation with Flash.

Mo shrugged. “He seemed like a nice guy, and I can respect somepony able to hide from me for so long.”

“Yeah. Yeah.” I ruffled my wings. “We can figure out the Flash problem later, though. He only told me he was here because he was heading out to report back to Shining. We can probably expect my BBBFF to show up sometime soon over the next couple of days, and I have no idea if that’s good or bad.”

“Oh.” Morpheus’ eyes went glassy. “Ve weren’t expecting another visit so soon. Maybe I should train with Hera just to be safe.”

I slugged him in the shoulder. “Be serious! I’m not about to let you fight my brother!”

The prince frowned. “Ve were being serious, but, if you insist on doing it your way, what did you have in mind?”

“I—" Biting my lip, I fidgeted beneath Morpheus’ expectant gaze. “I don’t know….”

In Which, Nothing of Note Happens (Morpheus) Part 1

Blood is Denser Than Water (Twilight) Part 3

My brother – thankfully enough – had not stormed Ponyville. I hadn’t really expected him to, of course, but I hadn’t expected him to spy on me, either. Instead, he had sent me a letter, and I had no idea what to do about it.

Said sending was not a particularly worrisome action in and of itself, but the contents of the letter weighed heavily on me – before I even opened the thing. It could have been an apology or a condemnation or even an apologetic condemnation, and, as long as I didn’t open it, I couldn’t have been disappointed in my brother.

A disappointing brother was something I really couldn’t afford at the time, especially after all the idiotic nobles from the preceding weeks.

“Oh, give me that...” Spike mumbled and grumbled as he grabbed the letter. “You lost your right to procrastinate when I had to comb Castle for you. Do you even know what time it is?”

“Midnight, I think?”

“Try six in the morning.” Spike huffed a tiny gout of flame, crossing his arms across his chest.

“Oh…” I blinked, looking at the letter. “That’s an oddly heavy letter for six in the morning. You think he stayed up all night writing it?”

“No. I think it’s heavy because you stayed up all night to read these blasted reports!” He slapped my rather encumbered desk only to almost wobbily tumble over. “You should be asleep right now. Hay, I should be asleep right now.”

I took a sip of my coffee – a godsend even cold. “Celestia wanted me to look over all the changeling files and—"

“Don’t give me that….” Spike sluggishly tried and failed to grab the precious brew from my grip. “You and I both know that Celestia said to go through those reports when you had time to sparraaagh….” He yawned gratuitously halfway through the word spare.

“Rarragh…” Despite all the caffeine in my system, I yawned in kind. “Perhaps I did rush into things….”

Spike wordlessly grumbled in response, tearing open the seal and unfurling the scroll. His eyes slipped over the letter a few times before he set it down on the desk and began to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“So Shining’s invited you and Morpheus to the Crystal Empire.” He gave an exasperated sigh.

I waited a few moments before prompting. “And?”

“That’s it.” Spike huffed, pulling two tickets from the scroll. “Your train leaves at nine. I mean, I get that he probably wants to sort things out in pony, but really? He could have just made a surprise visit. He didn’t need to send a letter at this discord damned hour.”

“Spike, language!”

Spike winced. “Sorry…. It’s just way too early for this.”

“Go back to sleep then.” I waved him off.

“Not until you go too!” He crossed his arms once more.

“I have too much to do to try and sneak an hour of sleep.” My ear flicked, straining to catch the sound of chitin on crystal – or perhaps the faint buzzing thrum of wings. “I have to get ready for Shiny and Cadance, and that means waking Mo before anyling else does.”

“Huh?” Spike tilted his head.

“Don’t worry about it.” I smiled. “Spi was lurking about earlier – probably on his rounds – so it wouldn’t surprise me if he saw you, followed you, and decided to eavesdrop.”

Spike blinked several more times. “Definitely too early for this....” He turned and shambled away towards his room – or perhaps simply a room. “Far, far too early.”

I giggled and watched him go before turning to my desk. The rest of the reports could wait, but my coffee couldn't. Draining the dregs from my cup, I set it down and grabbed the pot. A quick heating spell prepped it for transport before I teleported to Morpheus’ room in a flash.

Morpheus stared at the sleek crystalline body of the Empire Express – or rather the contingent of guards saluting us as we approached the train. “On second thought, ve’re starting to think Hera was right. Ve really must protest the necessity of going to the Crystal Empire alone.”

“I’m here, aren’t I?” I smiled, putting our luggage to the side for a conductor to grab. “I Pinkie Promise—" I carefully avoided poking my eye "—that I won’t let my brother harm you.”

Morpheus snorted, nervously pawing the station floor. “You say that now, but ve doubt you’d actually pick us over your brother if it really came down to it.”

I shrugged. “It would be hard, but – if he’s that dead set against you – he’s not the brother I know and love.” I ruffled my wings. “It shouldn’t come to that, though. Shining isn’t anywhere near as rash as Rainbow.”

Morpheus pointedly looked at the guards – who glared at him in kind – as we passed them onto the train. “Ve’d honestly prefer it if your brother was as rash as Rainbow. Rash ponies make mistakes. It’s the cautious ones you need to watch out for.”

“He kind of has a good reason to be paranoid.” I sighed, sitting in a heated seat so extravagantly plush it almost engulfed me in its warm confines. I would have melted in bliss if not for the guards filing in to surround us.

“Doesn’t stop me from feeling like I’m on death row....” Morpheus muttered darkly in deep clicks and hisses.

“Stop that.” Too far away to thwap him, I pinched his ear tube with telekinesis. The tube flicked, but was otherwise unresponsive. “Right. Chitin doesn’t pinch, does it?”

“Not unless I shift it to a more pliable state.” He continued to brood – barely looking at me as he responded. His sullen stare trailed from guard to guard. They, in turn, were warily eyeing him, as if he’d lash out at any second. I could almost taste the tension between them, and I wasn’t the emotivore here.

“Come on, Mo. Turn that frown upside down.” I got up from my seat to cross over and sit next to him. Wrapping a wing around him, I gave a squeeze, and focused on thinking happy thoughts.

“You’re only going to scare them if you sulk—" I gave another squeeze "—although I can’t really blame you with how their acting.” I momentarily glared at the guards. “Fun fact: distrust tastes like bitter poison, and you’re all oozing of it right now.” I arched an eyebrow. “Whatever happened to the legendary stoicism of the guard?”

They at least had the decency to look momentarily ashamed. Unfortunately, with a shake of their heads and a few snorts, they regained their resolve.

We continued on in silence after that – the muted hum of the train shooting down the tracks being the only sound in the car. Morpheus stared out the window with glassy eyes as the countryside passed, while I focused on cheering him up with positive thoughts and feelings. It would have been nice to talk a little, but I knew what it looked like when he was filtering his emotions. Talking wouldn’t help right now. It’d just be awkward for him – maybe even make the situation with the guards worse.

Right now, he needed my silent support.

Thus, we quietly made our way north for the better part of three hours. For the most part, I simply sat next to him – rereading Daring Do and trying to channel all my warm fuzzy memories of the series into him. Every so often, though, I’d notice him start to shiver as his eyes got a little less glassy, and I’d need to wrap a wing around him.

He’d thrum appreciatively before his eyes inevitably became glassy once more, causing me to glare at the guards again. The guards would squirm for a minute or two before becoming wary once more, and the cycle would start over. It was only when we reached the heavy snow storms that marked the Empire’s border that Morpheus decided to break it.

“You know,” he droned, “ve have been trying our best, but ve do not think the filter will be coming down anytime soon – especially if the rest of the Crystal Empire is this way. Perhaps it would be best to retreat for now. Maybe visit some smaller towns to acclimate to the distrust.”

He turned to look at me with dead eyes. “Ve did not account for how overwhelming distrust could be in a group setting – having assumed ourself to have adapted after the few cases that took place in Ponyville. In retrospect, however, none of those incidents except my initial introduction contained more than a few individuals at any one time. Indeed, the fact that our introduction – with the combined presence of the whole town plus Mother – did not trigger any regressive filters – unlike the mere twenty-four guards in this car – suggests that Ponyville is of too tolerant a temperament to acclimate to the levels of distrust ve can be expected to face in the future. In addition…”

The longer the prince continued to monologue, the more the guards cast uneasy glances amongst themselves. Steam was beginning to rise from my coat as I realized just how bad the situation had become. This was not how things were supposed to be going. I had worked very hard to stop Mo’s tendencies to sink into doom and gloom, and Shining Armor – my BBBFF – was undoing it all in a fit of paranoia. I didn’t even want to know what he was telling his guard to make them so hostile. What did he even think we were going to do on the way up? Hijack the train?

I had to restrain myself from blowing up at the guard. It wouldn’t be appropriate – given that the Empire hadn’t existed during the changeling invasion. I knew they wouldn’t be like this unless they’d heard stories, and – whether or not Shining had spread them – my brother hadn’t done anything to quell them.

Wrapping my wing around Morpheus, I decided I needed to talk to Shining a little sooner than our train would let us. “If you’ll excuse us, gentlecolts—" my voice was quiet, but most of the guards flinched as I spoke "—your services are no longer required. We’re close enough for a more preferable method of transport.”

With a flash of my horn, I teleported us to my second favorite place in the Crystal Empire – the Crystal Archives. Before I could surge in anger – and damage who knows how many books – I cast a second spell to conjure a bottle, and then I cast a third spell, pulling all the anger out of my head and into the bottle.

Gasping for air and completely drained, I slumped into a nearby chair and planted my face into a rock hard crystalline desk. “Sweet Celestia, Starlight didn’t exaggerate about the side effects of doing that.” Turning my head I got a sideways view of Morpheus. “Still better than what you’re going through, though. Can you lower the filter now? I don’t know if bottling my anger helped, but we’re at least away from those guards.”

Morpheus looked from me to the bottle and back. His dull eyes momentarily lightened up with an almost sinister green glow – reminding me far too much of when my brother was brainwashed – as he glanced back and forth. “Fascinating.... Now ve really want to meet this Starlight Glimmer you keep mentioning. Ve have never seen a unicorn spell do that before. The spell matrix seems to—"

He blinked, the light vanishing from his eyes. “Oh…. Our apologies. Your concern took a moment to register because of the filter. To answer your question, yes, the filter can most likely be lowered incrementally now.” His eyes became slightly less glassy. “Ve suggest that you do not bottle your anger like that in the future, though. The spell appears to be quite hazardous to your health.”

“Don’t worry about me.” I sighed. “I already know it’s only meant to be temporary. Just… get yourself together and we can storm the palace together….”

“Hello? Is somepony there?” The familiar face of the elderly librarian poked around the corner of a bookshelf. “Oh, Princess Twilight, dearie! Prince Shining said you’d be visiting today, but I didn’t expect you so soon.”

Her gaze fell on Morpheus. “And I see you’ve brought a guest! Is this one of those changelings all the guards have been on about?” She wobbled over on creaky knees to take a closer look. “He certainly doesn’t seem like a soul-sucking monster. If anything, it looks like he had the soul-sucked right out of him!”

“Hi, Amethyst.” I smiled momentarily before frowning. “Sorry for the unexpected drop in, but the guards were giving us a hard time. They didn’t actually say anything – or do anything, for that matter – but they didn’t need to. Changelings are emotivores, so Mo here could taste everything they felt about him.” I bit my lip. “He really… doesn’t handle strong negative emotions well.”

“Oh, the poor dear. I know what that’s like.” The librarian patted the prince on his withers. “Sombra—" the mare shuddered "—projected all sorts nasty feelings on us. Don’t you worry one bit about any trouble from me or the rest of the Empire. We haven’t really been paying attention to those rumors from the guard since Princess Cadance made her announcement, but I’ll go spread the news to be sure. Honestly, what kind of crystal ponies would we be if we forced all our negative thoughts and feelings on you like that.” She frowned. “I don’t know what those guards were thinking.”

“If the rumors in the guard are bad enough, they might not have believed me when I said distrust tastes like poison.” I groaned. “Just what has my big brother been doing?”

“He hasn’t been doing much of anything lately,” Amethyst sighed, “And that’s probably the problem, actually. He used to take time time for the guard. He’d do things like eat a meal with them every so often, or take time from his schedule to personally train one unit or another. I don’t know all of it – it’s my grandson who’s in the guard, not me – but I do know Prince Shining has been a bit distant lately. Honestly, I’m surprised he stopped by to tell me about your visit. It has the guard worried to pieces.”

“Great,” I mumbled, rolling my face back into the desk, “now I feel bad instead of feeling mad. I take it the guard are blaming changelings for his sudden change in behavior?”

Amethyst nodded. “I don’t know much about the invasion, but my grandson could go on for hours about the stories he’s heard.”

“And thus, what else could be the source of their captain’s change in temperament but changelings.” Morpheus droned. “Clearly we bewitched the royal couple during their trip to visit the Princess of Friendship – cementing our hold on all of Equestria’s and the Empire’s leadership so that we might rule you from the shadows as we pretend to play nice with peace talks.”

“Err… A bit overly dramatic, but yes, dearie.” Amethyst smiled awkwardly at the prince. “Most of those stories are probably just the kind of overexaggerations that come with any good story.”

I sighed. “Well, it seems I might have got all mad at Shining for nothing.” Looking over at my bottle of fury I noticed a noticeable lack of menace to the red mist. “Guess I won’t be needing this.”

“What was that, dearie?”

“Nothing….” Opening the bottle, my anger just diffused into air. No dramatics. No possessed ponies. It was simply gone.

“Arrarraghsss…” Morpheus stretched, hissing in pleasure as thousands of plates across his body popped and clicked. “Oh, by the Azure Veil, it’s good to be back.” He stood and turned towards me. A grinning flash of fangs was the only warning I got before he pounced – shifting himself to be almost twice as large as me mid lunge.

Pulling me into a monstrous hug, he thrummed appreciatively such that I felt the vibrations in my bones. “Thank you. I couldn’t say it before, but thank you for what you did on the train.”

“I thought you couldn’t make yourself bigger!” I squeaked.

“I told you it took way more energy to increase my natural volume compared to condensing it or rearranging the density of specific parts.” He gave a rumbling chuckle that shook my whole body – ensconced as it was in the hug. “Personally, I think it’s worth the extra love. A normal hug couldn't possibly express how thankful I am right now.”

Finally setting me on my hooves, he shrank back to his normal size and rubbed his chest. “Oh…. By the First Father, I’m hungry now. I forgot just how much love that takes. I’m afraid I won’t be of any help if you’re still planning on storming the palace to chew out your brother.”

“Storming the palace?” Amethyst politely coughed, reminding me of her presence. I had kind of forgotten her while being trapped in a giant changeling—

Oh, sweet Celestia, the way that must have looked.

“Not important.” I blushed. “I’m not really mad at Shining anymore, so there’s no reason to waltz in and make a scene. If anything, I need some time to think about what I want to say.”

“Well, I’ll leave you to it then, dearie, and go spread the news like I said I would.” Amethyst smiled. “So long!”

Left in the quiet of the library, I closed my eyes to collect my thoughts until a familiar buzz filled the air.

“Twilight?”

“Yes, Morpheus.”

“One hug wasn’t enough.”

“Twily?”

I opened my eyes again at the sound of my brother’s voice. I opened my mouth, but no sound came out. I still didn’t know what to say.

“Twily, Amethyst told me you were in here. I’m sorry about the guards. I didn’t know it was this bad…. I didn’t think to tell them…” He trailed off, hoofsteps echoing through the shelves as he searched for us.

Mo looked at me questioningly, but didn’t say anything.

“They didn’t know, Twily…. It’s not their fault. It’s mine for forgetting to tell them. Please don’t be mad at them….” The echoing stopped. “Please don’t be mad at me….”

“Shining, I’m not—" The words caught in my throat. I had been really mad earlier.

Morpheus sighed. “She’s not mad, Shining. She was mad, but she’s not anymore. Thanks for asking about me by the way.”

“Oh….” The hooves started up again. “Sorry. I was just—"

“Worried about Twilight.” Morpheus chuckled. “Believe me, I know.”

“Yeah… can you not do that?” Shining poked his head around the corner. “This is hard enough as it is.”

“Yes. Yes it is.” Mo grinned, fangs gleaming.

“Stop that.” I thwapped him with a wing only for Mo to hiss back with a smirk. “Sorry, Shiny. I guess he’s still a little sore about the guards.”

“Well, he has every right to be.” Shining kicked the floor. “Despite my misgivings, I should have made sure the guard was properly debriefed.”

“Yes, you should have.” I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, trying to buy some time to think. “I don’t think it’s possible for you to really understand what you put Mo through today – not unless you someday experience it for yourself.”

“And I suppose you have?” He arched an eyebrow.

I sighed, closing my eyes as a number of memories that weren’t my own came forward. “Yes, ve have.”

His brow arched further. “You know, that response only worries me more, right.”

“Shining!” I stomped a hoof. “You had better not be implying what I think you’re implying.”

“No. No.” Shining snorted. “I read your report. I know you’re not a changeling, because only my little sister would be crazy enough to download somepony else’s memories in the name of friendship.”

“Someling.” I corrected without thinking.

“Someling….” Shining bit his lip, trailing into an awkward silence for a minute or so. “You know…” he kicked the floor again, “...I’ve been thinking lately, and—"

“Ve know I’m going to regret this, but have you now?” Morpheus was inevitably thwapped by my wing for that particular interruption.

“Yes, I’ve been thinking.” Shining glared at the lord. “It’s something you may want to practice.”

I thwacked Shining.

“Ve got far too much practice earlier today.”

Thwap.

“I can barely tell, perhaps you should have some more.”

Thwack.

“Call up the guards then, and ve’ll get started.”

Thwap.

“Maybe I will—"

Thwack. Thwap. Thwack. Thwap. Thwack. Thwap. Thwap.

“Boys!” I used Celestia’s ‘Mother Equis’ voice.

Morpheus stuck his tongue out at Shining – just having to get the last laugh. I thwapped him one more time, glaring, and he had the decency to sheepishly bow his head. “Sorry. Some of the guards emotions are still backed up in my system. You should be glad I’m able to keep it to teasing.”

I sighed. “Just make sure to purge it like you did last time.”

“Oh, believe me.” He hissed. “I have no intention of keeping them.”

“If you’re done, then,” Shining ground his teeth together, “I’ve been spending these past few months thinking – just spending time with Flurry and thinking – and eventually it occurred to me that I can’t forgive Chrysalis for what she did, but I might be able at least try to give others the benefit of the doubt. Who knows? Maybe I can even eventually be friends with some.”

Morpheus blinked – both eyelid and haw. “Well…” He bit his chops. “...ve did not expect that. Now I kind of feel like an ass.”

I glared at him, just daring him to transform. After several seconds of donkey free conversation, I turned back to my brother. “Do you really mean that, Shining?”

Shining stared at Morpheus. “I won’t promise anything.” He snorted, stare turning to glare. “I still don’t like changelings as a whole, but I’m willing to try and judge them on a case by case basis. Keep being snarky and you’ll find what little trust I’m willing to give swiftly evaporating.”

“Oh, Shining….” The Prince of the Hive of the First Father grinned a grin only his mother would love. “When you say it like that, you’re just begging for that to be the defining feature of our love-hate relationship.”

“We don’t have a love-hate relationship.” Shining growled.

“Yet.” Morpheus cackled. “We don’t have a love-hate relationship yet.”

“Discord damn it all, Shining. Don’t encourage it.” I groaned as pony and changeling continued to bicker. “You’re just making it into a game for him.” I massaged the base of my horn. “For Celestia’s sake, I already get enough of this when he does it with Castle.”

Neither of them seemed to hear me.

“Well,” I sighed, “it’s better than tearing each other’s throats out.”

That was the beginning of Morpheus’s rather interesting relationship with my brother. I’ve already touched on how adaptive Morpheus is when forming his relationships, but this is perhaps both my most and least favorite example.

He is downright fun and friendly with extroverts – like when it comes to Pinkie Pie or myself most of the time – but he’s also capable of being quiet as a mouse when Fluttershy is around or my more introvertive moods strike. For those with competitive spirits or sharp minds he plays games – roughhousing with Rainbow and Applejack, or playing matchmaker with Rarity.

He’s a bit of everything and nothing, and it is incredibly frustrating sometimes to figure out how much of it is an act versus how much of it is truly him, but I can normally rationalize why he acts like he does whenever he is trying to be friendly.

Morpheus’ relationship with my brother is not rational. He continues to poke at my brother to this day. He teases to the point of borderline mocking and makes a point of cackling extra maniacally. I wouldn’t stand for it if not for the fact that Shining responds favorably to it for some reason.

Maybe it’s a stallion thing.

Regardless, I’m calling it here for now. If you want more, you might want to talk to Morpheus about the rest of the trip.

In Which, Nothing of Note Happens (Morpheus) Part 2

In Which, Nothing of Note Happens (Morpheus) Part 1

Changing Times’ Notes: Upon rereading this report I can’t help but chuckle as I recall Princess Twilight’s face when she first saw this transcript. It was even more amusing than Prince Morpheus’ face as he realized that I hadn’t redacted certain information he had revealed to me without thinking.

It was moments like that really showed me that – beneath all the news stories and politics and defeating of world-shattering villains – the rulers of Equestria were much the same as any other pony.

In Which, Nothing of Note Happens: A Report by Morpheus of House Sycadia

I would be lying if I didn’t mention that our trip to the Crystal Empire was rather boring beyond all the drama with Shining and the guards, but you’re asking about it, so ve’ll try to recall all the specifics. Honestly, it was our own fault for viewing spoilers.

When the crystal empire had reappeared, all the analysts and infiltrators went crazy going over all our old data and maps for it while gathering new info on how it was faring. Ve’ve been on tour of the capital more times than I care to count, so – while most ponies would jump at the chance to visit – I was simply nervous Shining would have a sudden change of heart while he gave us the tour.

Of course, it wouldn’t have been optimal to show said anxiety. Shining was the type of pony who wouldn’t accept any show of weakness from a former enemy – and like it or not I had been an enemy. The polite, friendly, stallion I’d been when we first met was forever tainted by the fact that I was a changeling.

No. That’s not quite it. I’ve seen him be downright chummy with Hera – for a given definition of chummy. The fact is. When he first met me I was wearing a mask – a disguise. No matter how much sincerity there was to my interactions during our first meeting, the fact remained that Shining viewed those interactions as a fraud. If I had approached him the same way that I had initially, I would have had no chance to earn his respect.

Thus I took a rather unorthodox method of reintroducing myself to him.

Other than that, though, nothing of note happened.

Absolutely. Nothing.

A significant chunk of what had once been the Empire’s cultural heritage had been… appropriated by their former ruler and sold to commission hundreds of terrifying yet majestic obsidian statues of himself. Of the forty-eight art galleries in the palace, forty-seven had been filled with those likenesses while the final gallery had been filled with work done by Sombra himself.

Oddly enough, the tyrant wasn’t that bad a painter – although he was a little obsessed with scenes full of misery and death. That wing still stood with a number of the more menacing obsidian statues as a testament and reminder of just what the Crystal Empire had survived.

With the fall of Sombra, that, of course, left forty-seven other wings – along with several reopening museums – that needed to be filled by the remnants of a rich and somewhat crystal-obsessed culture that had been repressed for far too long. It should not have taken long for the Empire to explode in a renaissance of art and learning, given they had a thousands years of catching up to do.

Instead… instead, there were forty-seven wings and several museums worth of art depicting a certain purple and green saviour with the occasional painting of the royal couple heroically tossing one another thrown in. It was one of the reasons I was currently bored out of my mind. Ve had seen it all before – in more ways than one – and, while I could appreciate the gratitude the Empire showed for their heroes, I really would have preferred some variance in the tour.

Thus, as much as I tried to keep quiet and pay attention, I couldn’t help but get distracted by the hollow feeling in my heart. On the bright side, it gave me an excuse to begin implementing our scheme to actually familiarize myself with Shining – playing the part of tourist didn’t count.

I just had to wait for him to notice.

“Is there a particular reason you’ve been staring at me for the past ten stops?” Shining turned from one of the many statues of Spike the Great to arch an eyebrow at me.

Primary objective: befriend Shining Armor. Secondary objective: do so in a way that vents his frustrations over the invasion. Step one: catch the subjects eye, complete. Step two: provide a target, commence.

“Yes—” I ran through the very exaggerated motion of licking my chops with an extra long tongue “—I tend to get hungry after expending a lot of energy, and you happen to be married to a smorgasbord. Do forgive the drool.”

Amendment to step n: grovel and beg for Cadance’s forgiveness when she enters the equation. It felt far dirtier for me to say that than ve had expected.

“Morpheus!” Twilight sputtered – her emotions a mix of rubber and rainbows. She elbowed me hard enough that I took a stumble, and ve began to recalculate the odds on how likely what ve were planning to do would earn her ire.

Shining’s brow arched further. “Are you still— What would I even call it. Are you still under the influence from earlier? I thought you cobbled together some form of purgative for the guard’s emotions?”

“Yes, sir!” I bared my fangs in a grin and gave a mock salute. “I’m all sunshine and ladybugs. Just giving you what you want.”

Okay. That was better. Clearly I was trying too hard before. I would need to be careful with the list of barbs ve had prepared ahead of time.

“Oh, Celestia, you were serious about the love-hate relationship, weren’t you?” Shining narrowed his eyes. “Shouldn’t you be bending over backwards to prove your good will?”

“Well,” I rolled my shoulders, “I’m going to be honest. I could do that, but something tells us you wouldn’t care for that. You can’t vent at a nice, polite, changeling, can you?” I smirked – tasting a twinge of spiced oranges at my words. “Ve felt it was best to mix things up a bit with you – give you chance to cut loose without actually cutting loose.”

“That is—” I cackled, letting emerald flames smolder from my joints without quite truly shifting anything “—if you think you can keep up without getting burned.”

“I am so sorry, Shiny.” Twilight stepped between us. “I clearly need to have a talk with him about—”

“It’s alright, Twily.” Shining gave his sister a small smile. “I’ve dealt with worse. You remember Drill Sergeant Sunshine, right?”

Twilight shuddered. “How could I forget somepony with lungs that big and a mouth that filthy? There were times I could hear him all the way up in my tower on the other side of the castle.”

Shining turned to me with an oddly calculating gaze. Of course, it was only logical that he got to the rank of captain for more than his charisma and skills with shields, but the exact measure of his capabilities as a tactician were unknown to us beyond theoreticals and training exercises – the wedding did not count with the whole secret brainwashing fiasco.

“Well, if childish insults are the way you want it, just know that you brought this on yourself. I’ve been getting copies of Twilight’s notes from Princess Celestia.”

Step two: make a target, complete. Step three: weather the initial volley, commence.

He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath in. As he opened his mouth, a smirk appeared on his face, and I inexplicably felt a significant amount of dread freezing up my veins.

“Your mom’s so fat her chitin is denser than the black hole where her heart should be!”

He finished pointing accusingly at me with a hoof – a sweet and spicy mix of emotions wafting through the air as Twilight and all the nearby crystal ponies enjoying the exhibit gawked. One mother put her hooves over her foal’s ears at the outburst, despite the utter silence now filling the room.

“Oh, wow! You know, I actually do feel better now?” Shining – finally realizing how silly he looked with his hoof extended – decided to settle on his hooves and look to the statue before us.

I stood unmoving, trying to process his words. He couldn’t have just—

No. He did.

Step three, complete. Step four: establish boundaries, commence.

“Do you— Do you have a death wish?!” I scrambled over to Shining, knocking a still stunned Twilight on her haunches. “What if one of Mother’s agents heard that?”

Shining gave a bellowing belly laugh. “You called my wife food, so I called your mom fat. If you can’t take it, then leave Cadance out of this.”

Oh. It. Was. On.

Step four, amendment: screw boundaries, let him have it.

I snorted – half-pawing, half-clawing at the ground. “I can take it all right, but can you? What kind of husband mixes up his wife to be with my mom?! I mean, you’ve met her. She’s not even worthy of licking the ground Cadance walks on, and yet you fell for her—”

“Bad Morpheus! Bad Shining!” A familiar notebook whacked me on the head. “We do not bond over insults!”

“Ah, Twily! Where’d you even get a squirtbot— Cold! Cold! Not the face! Not the— Is that a notebook?! My ears are ringing from that! It can’t just be a note—”

Shining’s sentence cut out as glacially cold water slammed into my senses. “By the hive, that’s cold! What did you put in there?! Crystallized dread?”

“At least it’s not as cold as your mom’s— Sweet Celestia, she just conjured an encyclopedia!”

I was, thankfully, not targeted by the encyclopedia.

“Bad Shining! Just you wait until I tell Cadance!”

Step four, incomplete – obstruction has occurred. Resume later. Additional secondary objectives: calm Twilight and move the battlefield. Step five-a: damage control. Step five-b: parler with Twilight

“It was his idea!” Shining shifted from his defensive positioning to point a hoof at me.

Twilight flared her wings and puffed her cheeks out. “That doesn’t make it right for you two to suddenly… suddenly… whatever this is!”

I warily flicked my wings to shed the water from them. “I joke with Rainbow all the time, Twilight.”

The Princess of Friendship stomped a hoof. “That wasn’t joking! It was making a scene! I know joking!”

“And who is making a scene now?” I thrummed, smirking at the adorable little blush that crept up her neck as she realized she had unwittingly become an accomplice.

“Do you want to take this somewhere else?” I lit up my horn and conjured a portal. “Ve’re pretty sure the gardens would work. They were suitably empty during our trip through them.”

Shining eyed the portal warily, but Twilight just ruffled her wings and walked through. I began to follow – causing Shining to leap into action and jump through – and we were soon in the surprisingly lush and humid gardens.

Vines hung like curtains from a series of pipes along the ceiling. The pipes gently misted water down onto elaborate crystal pots full of plants that reflected and refracted the light that landed on them into a multitude of rainbows. The rainbows were further refracted through the water being fed into the room, and the result was the odd sensation of walking through a crystalline coral reef at the bottom of a sea of light.

“There.” I flicked my wings once more as the portal closed. “You were saying?”

Twilight blinked, having once again been distracted – or maybe awestruck, given she hadn’t seen it hundreds of times like us – by the sheer presence of the place. “Oh. Right. Where was I?” Her gaze narrowed. “Ah, I remember. Contrary to what you might think, that was not ‘joking,’ Morpheus. You should know better than to be so insensitive!”

I cringed under her withering gaze and the onslaught of her emotions – like a dry, glaring, summer day. The already muggy gardens became unbearably stifling. My mouth ran dry even as water pooled and condensed in several of the nooks and crannies in my chitin, but I stood my ground.

Ve were not wrong here.

“Twilight, I understand where you’re coming from, but… trust me when I say ve know what I’m doing. You’ve seen how Rainbow and Applejack can go at each other’s throats one minute and just laugh it away the next.”

Twilight ruffled her wings. The feathers were starting to noticeably misalign, and she began unconsciously preened a few in her irritation. “That’th different.” She mumbled as I heard her pluck out a particularly bothersome feather. “All friends have fights. It’s the fact they make up that’s important. See! You know I’m right! You’re avoiding looking at me.”

I, of course, had been politely avoiding watching her preen, but I couldn’t tell Twilight that. No matter how much Rainbow tried to drill the concept of platonic preening into me, I still found it awkward, and Twilight would find it awkward that I found it awkward.

It hadn’t actually been an issue so far – as she thankfully seemed to like preening in private – but the atmosphere here was pretty agitating for even my wings, and they were pretty low maintenance. I kept having to flick the water off them as more condensed within their membranous folds.

“Twily, it’s fine, really. I get what he was trying to do, and, to be honest, I think I needed it.” Shining sat back on his haunches, looking up through the pool of rainbows surrounding us towards the ceiling. “Some of my friends in the guard – the ones I kept away from you and mom and dad – were real jerks. They said things they shouldn’t, spent way too many nights on the town getting in bar fights, and had mouths that would make a sailor, or even a sea pony, proud.”

He rolled his shoulders and there was a loud crack. The taste of fine wine filled the air as he took a stroll down memory lane. “Well, I say they were my friends, but I kind of hated them at first. They were everything I thought the guard shouldn’t be, and I made sure to let them know.

“One day, though, one of them said something – I don’t even remember what anymore – and I suddenly found myself giving him a bloody muzzle.” Shining hummed in thought. “I was stuck standing there, completely mortified, as he laughed his tail off and offered to buy me a drink.”

“And… and what did you do then?” Twilight hesitated, and I sneaked a peek to find she was merely biting her lip.

“I was so embarrassed that I accepted their invite as way of an apology. Having only rarely drunk before, I couldn’t really hold my liquor, so I got us into a bar fight, earned us a few bruises, and somehow made friends with them all by the end of the night.” Shining shrugged. “It was the weirdest thing, and I still don’t really understand how I did it or why I stuck with them. I’m thankful I did, though, because they all mellowed with more training. That doesn’t change how we became friends in the first place, however.”

“I see….” Twilight’s face scrunched up in a way that all too clearly let me know she didn’t.

“Lies.” I admonished her in Chitri and she flinched. Her grasp of the language was still limited, but I had made sure she knew what that word and its many intonations meant.

“Okay, then.” She huffed, quickly composing herself once more. “I don’t see how this can possibly be okay, but if Shining’s alright with it, I’ll let it go for now.”

I nodded and smiled.

Secondary objectives, complete. Step five-a and five-b, complete. Recommencing step four: let him have it.

I stared at Shining, internally debating how to be—

“What’s the matter, bug breath? Cat got your tongue?”

Shining took the initiative, yet started small this time. His emotions were like a tentative tendril of smoldering orange peels. Warm, yet not quite a spicy anger. Curious, but mostly courteously so. Cautious, yet willing to come forth.

“Ve were merely curious about your investment in this venture.” I tsked. “It’d be a shame to disillusion you on your chances of winning this little competition of sorts with the first blow.”

“Ha! Don’t underestimate me.” Shining gave a bark of laughter. “You’ll find I have a pretty tough skin when I need to.”

“Oh, I know.” I bared my fangs in a grin while suppressing the queasiness creeping through me at the thought of what I was about to say. “Mother was far too detailed about your preferences in the bedroom, after all. Of course you would have thick skin after that much—” I waggled my brows and tried not to gag “—stimulation.”

Twilight eeped, while Shining merely narrowed his eyes. The air around him burned with a maelstrom of emotional intensity that was far too jumbled to outright label good or bad.

“You know, that would have been much more savage if you hadn’t twitched halfway through? As it stands, all I want to know is if she told you about the time she took me toy shopping and—”

Oh, no. I hadn’t heard this one, and ve had never seen it in the archives. For Mother to have purposely exclude it from my ‘education’ it had to be risque even for her.

Too much information incoming. Emergency. Abort.

“Okay! Okay!” I whistled shrilly in dismay. It was too late, I was starting to imagine all the grisly details. Why had ve thought digging those memories up was a good idea? “I made a mistake! I get it! The bedroom is off limits. There’s too much family history there.”

Shining smirked. “I never said—”

“Too much family history!” I would not have been surprised to find steam coming off my chitin. I could barely keep my blood a nice black to hide the massive blush tingling over my entire body.

Shining arched his brow. “You know, I’ve got way more right to be squeamish here than you. Based on Twilight’s reports to Celestia and all the papers going crazy over you, I would have expected you to do more than crumble to pieces over my tastes in the bedroom.”

“It’s not you specifically, Shining.” I twitched. “Normally, I wouldn’t care, but ve made a critical mistake in assuming I would be able to avoid the mental image of Mother and you paying homage to Sleipnir.” I slunk to the ground, put my head in my hooves, and tried to claw the horrifying picture from my head. “Mother being as bad as she is, I’m probably one of the few changelings who can appreciate the pony tendency to freak out when imagining their parents like that. No. It’s even worse because mother likes to store those memories in our family’s personal slice of the Archive, and ve were too hive-damned curious for my own good.”

“Okay, I take it back.” Twilight squeaked almost too quietly for me to hear. “Can you please stop doing… whatever this is?”

I desperately wanted to say yes, but Shining’s emotions had shifted. Was that pity, or was it empathy? Despite the show of weakness, I seemed to have struck a chord in Shining.

“Oh….” Shining sighed, shuddering slightly. “I guess that does sound like the kind of twisted, malicious, trophy she’d make. I’m lucky enough to only have really vague memories of most of those nights myself, but I know for a fact she sometimes took things to a level even Cadance and I don’t care for. I’m sorry you had to see that.”

His shudder became even more pronounced. “And, believe me, I can totally feel for you on the parents front. The day I got the talk on the birds and the bees was the day I walked in on my mom and dad making Twily.”

There was a massive spike in the taste of rubber in the air before it suddenly fell off. A thump filled the room as Twilight fainted in a slump in the floor, and I silently thanked the First Father that ponies – regardless of what they claimed – did not die from embarrassment.

“Only good thing to come about that whole fiasco was my LSBFF here.” Shining smiled, levitating the comatose alicorn onto his back. “Mom told me that meant I was her guardian angel. I was so happy about that I went prancing off to my friends to brag without even knowing what an angel was.”

I arched my brow. “Guardian angel? Your mom reads too much Daring Do.”

The smile became a smirk. “My mom edits for A. K. Yearling. Didn’t you know that with your all-powerful spy network?”

I chuckled. “Doesn’t change the fact that she reads too much Daring Do, does it? I’ve seen Twilight devour those books like an analyst fresh from the Chrysalling. Ve can tell your family really likes reading.”

Looking at Twilight as we walked out of the gardens, my grin became a grimace. “You don’t think we took things too far?”

“We?” Shining snorted. “You were the one who brought up my bedroom habits. The only one to blame here is you.”

“Right.” I muttered – head slumping, ear tubes splaying back.

There was a sigh from off to the side along with a conflicting whirlwind of emotions. “Look. I’m sorry if it still looks like I’m blaming you for everything. I didn’t want to mention it with Twily listening in, but I’ve been going to a lot of counselling ever since the wedding – way more than Cadance lets on about. I know my issues are rooted more in what Chrysalis did rather than the invasion itself. I know it’s wrong to mix my feelings on the two up – especially now that I know why you invaded. Knowing that and understanding that are two different things, though, so I spend a lot of time bottling everything up because I have an empire to run.”

I almost tripped as I felt a weight on my back. Looking up, I found Shining levitating Twilight over me. He looked at me searchingly for a moment before nodding and releasing Twilight. This time I didn’t stumble, and we continued.

“Hiding your pain from others to protect them is an honorable goal,” I thrummed, “but hiding too much of the truth only invites more pain. If what you say is true, then even I may not know the true depths of your feelings. You could be living the lie so much that even you are starting to believe it to be the truth sometimes, and that is not healthy. If you want to get better, you should be confiding this to Twilight rather than me.”

Shining shook his head. “Maybe I should, but I don’t want to. She has too much on her plate as is.”

“You have at least told Cadance this?” I prodded.

“Of course, who do you take me for? I tell my wife any and everything.” Shining grunted, heading right into a room that turned out to be a bedroom. “On the subject of my wife, though, she wanted me to ask you how things are going between you and Twilight.”

Gently lowering said alicorn onto the bed, I took extra care while I slid her beneath the covers and tucked her into a proper cocoon so that I might gather our thoughts.

“Ve are not sure…. I do enjoy her company more than any of the others I have the pleasure of interacting with, but that could merely mean we are better friends. I do not feel any of things ve’d expect love to feel like, nor do I taste the feelings ve know signal a love – or even just a crush – from Twilight.”

Shining looked at me for a moment before replying. “Well, just remember that if you end up chasing Twilight it’s my obligation as her big brother to try and scare you straight.”

“I’m already straight as an arrow, sir.” I chirped far too innocently.

“Maybe for a changeling.” Bending down, he brushed his lips over his sister’s forehead. “Sleep tight, little sis.”

He turned to leave. “Would you mind staying with her while I go take care of some business? I really should have chewed the guard out more for what they did to you, but I was too worried about finding Twilight to really be angry at the time.”

“Sure.” I nodded, moving a nearby chair so a friendly face would be the first thing Twilight saw when she woke up. Hesitating for a moment, I called out to Shining as he reached the doors. “And maybe later we could have a rematch?”

Shining looked back over his shoulder at me with a smirk. “A rematch you say? There wasn’t much of a match to begin with.”

“Tactical error.” I kept my face straight. “Ve will adjust accordingly and be ready for you next time.”

Shining snorted. “You just keep telling yourself that.”

Twilight murmured something too quietly for me to hear as her brother left. Pulling the cocoon of blankets even tighter around her, she turned on her side and smiled. Friend that I was, I dutifully moved the chair to the other side of the bed and sat down.

Reaching into her bags, I pulled out the Daring Do novel she had brought, and attempted to read it. It was a later book in the series, however, and – without spoiling things through the hivemind – I was woefully lacking in proper context. I soon put it down to settle in and watch Twilight sleep.

Idly poking at the floor with a hoof, ve wondered whether we’d be here past dinner or even the final train with how much sleep Twilight had missed lately. It wouldn’t really matter, but ve would much prefer our own hoofspun cocoon to a guest room here.

Several minutes passed, and ve were just settling down into our musings when I suddenly twitched at an errant thought of ours – a most ridiculous thought. I yawned, realizing I had almost started taking a nap myself, before the last of our pseudo-sleeping thoughts forced it’s way back through the haze of sleep.

I blinked, looked at Twilight, and glanced at the door – half-expecting it to come crashing down and reveal one very angry stallion for our stupid, idiotic, thought. Really, I don’t know why ve even entertained the thought that that might do anything for us, but the thought wouldn’t go away now – loathe as I was to acknowledge it.

I sat there, fidgeting and glancing back at the door every few seconds. A few minutes passed, I finally managed to calm down enough to return to our musings. There were some calculations I wanted to double check on the love intake for the hive. Something had seemed off about the last few reports, and ve wanted to make sure that—

There it was again!

I shot up from my seat, standing rigid. Slowly, I turned to the vanity and glared at my reflection – just daring the hive-forsaken little thought to step forth from the churning background static of our thoughts once more.

There! There it was! Ve grabbed hold of it and carefully analyzed every facet of the train of thought we could. An entire web of probability – spun without the nosy interference of the other analysts – soon lay before us in our mind’s eye.

Ve scrutinized the results, frowning. “Our hive-damned curiosity will be the death of me one day.”

I snuck a glance at the door again before turning to look at Twilight. With glacial slowness I approached her to look down on her as she slept. She looked so peaceful, and I really hoped I didn’t wake her in the middle of this experiment.

I hesitantly leaned down – pulling back a few times only for that accursed thought of ours to worm it’s way back into my head. Finally, my mouth was only a few inches away from Twilight.

“Sleep well, Twilight.” I gently kissed her on the forehead exactly as I’d seen her brother do before pulling back as swiftly as I dared.

Hastily sitting back in the chair, ve stared into the distance. As expected, she tasted like lilies and lavender, however, there had been no spark as far as ve could tell. My heart didn’t flutter. Fireworks had not flown. Angels didn’t sing. None of the required signs had emerged, and if anything the experiment had induced negative stimuli.

My heart had actually frozen in terror when she momentarily moved beneath me. The traitorous organ had then summarily tried to claw it’s way from my chest like a panicked animal. Cardiac arrest followed by a rocketing pulse rate – signs of a fear overdose.

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, and thanking the Azure Veil I hadn’t been caught. Honestly, what could ve have possibly been thinking. This wasn’t some fairy tale. It was ridiculous to think a kiss would inspire some sort of previously unknown feelings.

Unless it required a kiss on the li—

No. That was ludicrous and ve were even stupider for thinking that than ve were for pondering the initial experiment. In what possible way could location matter? Enzyme exchange helped love transfers, but it wasn’t a requirement. If there had been some magical unknown feeling, I would have felt it.

Better to just take a nap and ponder other problems.

Training the Troops (Morpheus) Part 1

In Which, Nothing of Note Happens (Morpheus) Part 2

Oh, horseapples. I didn’t mean to say that part out loud. Ve simply got caught up in the recollection. Please, please, please, cut that from the record. Twilight doesn’t know about that whole fiasco, and ve would prefer to keep it that way. Ve mean, it’s not likely to make a difference now that we’re together, but there’s still the slightest chance she’ll freak out – well, that or she’ll get mad and hit me for taking advantage of the situation.

Regardless, it’s for the best that you redact that information. Now, where were ve? I think I was about to pull up the memories on my epic quest to retrieve dinner.

I felt bad for leaving Twilight, but it was getting late, and I was getting really hungry. Luckily, my target was in sight, and I’d hopefully be getting back soon. As long as I made it back with some food before she woke up, all could be forgiven.

The doors to the kitchen snapped open as I marched in. There may have been the slightest saunter to my step, but for the most part I kept up the rigid discipline of the guard I had disguised myself as.

I’d added just a smidgen more muscle to Quick Wit, but left him with the sprinters build. The tail and mane had needed to be cropped, of course, and, after some consideration, ve decided the cutie mark of a sealed scroll could stay. There were plenty of records of couriers and heralds with similar marks.

The armor was harder to emulate, but not in the way I would have expected. It had nothing to do with acquiring a proper density and texture, and, instead, ve simply had to constantly run several calculations in the background to manage issues with conduction between the plates of chitin acting as armor versus those acting as skin. Metal armor was supposed to be cooler to the touch than skin, after all.

Regardless, I cut quite the figure in my current guise – which I had donned less for the admiring stares and more to avoid indirectly antagonizing the guards – and was feeling just slightly cocky for having just strolled through a decent portion of the palace.

Not one pony had questioned my lack of a crystalline gleam – something ve had initially fretted over after ve saw my reflection in one of the walls.

“Ahem!” I coughed loudly and clearly to draw the attention of the chefs doting the kitchens. “I apologize for the intrusion sirs and madams, but I am here on a mission of utmost importance. Princess Twilight Sparkle was, unfortunately, unable to make it to the dining hall for dinner, and is now requesting food for her and Prince Morpheus to be delivered to their rooms. If you would be so kind as to supply me with several meals, I will deliver them myself to Their Royal Highnesses.”

“You hear that, ladies?!” A short, portly, onyx crystal pony with a shoulder-length, topaz, mane shouted. “We got ourselves a royal order! Kick those flanks into high gear or I’ll kick them for you!”

She turned to me, apron swinging as she adjusted her chef’s hat to a jaunty angle. “The food will only take a minute, sir. Please wait by the door.”

Still beaming, she turned back to the others. “You hear that, slackers?! You have less than a minute now! Clock is ticking, and it better not be burnt black as my behind this time!”

The giggling gaggle of mares began to hustle just a little faster. Knives thunked as they cleanly split vegetables to meet the table, salad tossers clicked and clacked as they mixed fresh greens with a creamy dressing, and spoons spun round as they churned cream cheese together with spices and herbs.

“So that’s one of Princess Twilight’s guards? Not exactly the hunks we usually get.”

“You kidding? He probably makes up for it with flexibility or something. I bet his hooves can reach all the right places.”

“Think he’s good with a ‘spear?’”

“Probably. I mean, he is a guard.”

“No. I mean—”

“I know what you meant. It doesn’t change my answer, though.”

“Teehee! I think he heard you. I saw his ear flick.”

“Good! That just means he’ll hear me when I say I’d totally hit that. What about you girls?”

The giggling increased tenfold as several furtive glances were sent my way. I arched an eyebrow in response, causing most to turn away. The others just winked and began to whistle as they worked.

Finally, the head chef stomped a hoof at the spectacle. “Well, well! If you all have time to stare, then you all must be ahead of the game! Show me what you slackers got, and, if the food isn’t as hot and delicious as the guard you’re all gawking at, then there’s going to be Tartarus to pay!”

A giant tray laden with sandwiches and a large bowl of salad was set before me.

“Roasted tomato and squash sandwiches on spicy tuskan bread with a cream cheese spread? Is that all?! You better have put your all in the salad, unless you all want to be peeling potatoes for a week!” She was still smiling despite all the shouting, and she continued to do so as she took a fork to sample a single bite of the aforementioned salad.

“Hmm…” just for a moment, the smile turned into a frown, “...passable, but you all can do— Stop staring at his Cadance blessed flank! He’s not here to give you a creamy filling!”

She massaged her forehead with a hoof before waving me away. “Whatever. Just take the food and go before they start drooling in the night shift’s breakfast.”

“Sorry, ma’am, but you know how it is.” I winked as I took the food in my telekinesis. “I mean, you have to be hot as Tartarus to get a flank burnt black like that.”

“Out before I cook you up and eat you, you shameless flatterer!”

I quickly absconded through the door as the head chef threw her hat at me. The sound of muffled tittering and shouting came through the door in my wake, but I hardly stopped to pay attention.

I cantered through the halls until the I was sure there was no pursuit. As I slowed back down to my sauntering march from before, I checked on the food to make sure it hadn’t been disturbed too much.

It hadn’t, so I continued on, pulling out our mental map of the castle as I began my way back to Twilight’s room. I wanted to get there as fast as possible – because the faux armor was starting to itch where warm met cool – but I couldn’t risk the food. A few maids blushed as I passed, and I idly nibbled on the buds of their blooming attraction. There was still a hollow feeling in my heart from earlier, so I didn’t feel too guilty about it.

Ve had never realized Quick Wit was so attractive before. Twilight didn’t like him, so I avoided using him, but perhaps that was why. It certainly would be awkward for her…. No. That didn’t make any sense. If Twilight had found him attractive, ve would have tasted it.

“Morpheus?”

A wall of thorny rose bushes slammed into me from the left. Turning my head, I found the very alarming sight of a wide-eyed Cadance – wings unfurled, blood trickling from her nostrils as she stared.

“Why in the name of me are you parading around in a disguise that’s eerily similar to my husband? A sleek, slender, younger-looking version of my husband.”

Oh. That explained so much.

Ve had no idea how ve missed the similarities.

“I’m sorry?” Shuffling awkwardly from hoof to hoof, I tried not to consume the healthy vegetation being shoved into my arteries. It was going to be Tartarus trying to regurgitate it all back up, but eating from Cadance would be way more awkward than eating from some random mare in the hall.

Cadance hummed. “No. No. It’s fine. Trust me. All you’re doing is giving me plenty of ideas for later tonight.”

I took a step back. “Ideas that don’t involve me, right?”

Cadance blinked before shaking her head vehemently. “No. No. Nothing like that. It’s just been awhile since I broke out my old pom poms and—”

“Cadance, I’m going to ask you to stop there so the terrifying mental image of Mother in a cheerleader outfit stays foal friend— Nope. Nevermind. It’s too late for that. Do the wine cellars have anything strong enough to bleach my brain? Wait…. If I get drunk ve might accidentally upload that image and then noling will be happy. Better to take one for the hive.”

“Sorry?” Cadance shuffled awkwardly while trying to close her rather impressive wing span.

“Daddy!” It was at that point a bundle of feathers with an obscenely large horn hit me, and I blacked out from the shock of experiencing several metaphorical aneurysms plus some more literal cardiac arrest.

“Hnnng!”

I awoke to a splitting headache, a sore chest, and a cherub frowning down at me. “Did anypony get the name of that chariot?”

“You’re not daddy.” The little alicorn continued to scowl with the might of an angry kitten. It wasn’t very threatening.

“Oh….” I moaned, curling into a ball and holding my head in my hooves. “Please tell me you caught the food, Cadance….”

“Barely.” The princess sounded back to her normal self, and ve supposed the shock of weapons grade alicorn cuteness must have knocked my disguise askew. That would explain the traitorous hole in my hoof that was letting light through – light which was, in turn, driving a railroad spike through my head.

“Ugh…” I rolled away from the light, “...what are you feeding your daughter, Cadance. She hit me like a brick, and my heart just exploded.”

“Shiny and I put love in every meal.” Cadance chuckled.

“You don’t even cook them!” I snapped back.

“Oh, ye of little faith.” Cadance hummed such that I could all but see the worried frown on her face, and the taste of wine and lemonade mixed together in a cocktail of concern. “Or maybe that’s just the heart attack speaking. You know, your heart actually stopped for a minute or two? What even happened there?”

“Love overdose—” I coughed, tasting the slight tang of blood “—a really bad one. You and Shining are really lucky if a single hug does this.” Inching up from the floor, I hid behind my haws – shifting them such that they helped filter the light. “Oh…. Twilight is going to kill me when I get back. How long was I out?”

“Only like five minutes.” Cadance coughed politely. “Does this happen a lot?”

“Only five minutes?” I gave a sigh of relief. “In that case I might still be able to make it back before Twilight’s up. And, no, it doesn’t happen that often. It probably only happened this time because I was already trying not to take a bite from the copius amounts of attraction you were unwittingly shoving through my arteries.”

I waved dismissively as her frown deepened. “Our fault for accidentally making a guise that looked like Shining. I’ll try not to use it around you or Twilight.”

Cadance tilted her head. “Oh? What’s wrong with Twilight seeing it?”

“Ve aren’t sure.” I shrugged. “There could be any number of reasons – even assuming her issue with it relates to how it looks like Shining.”

“Momma!” Flurry heart nuzzled into her mother’s foreleg. “Are you done checking on the bug-thing yet? You promised you’d tell me what was going on when you were sure he was alright.”

“I did, didn’t I?” Cadance bit her lip and glanced down the hall. “I have one last appointment for the day soon, though, and I really don’t want to be late for it.” She looked at me. “You are alright, right?”

I nodded. “As alright as can be expected.”

“Then I really must be off.” Cadance pushed the food she had thankfully saved towards me before hunkering down and spreading her wings like a ramp. “Climb on momma’s back, Flurry, and I’ll tell you all about your new uncle Mo Mo on the way to my meeting with Book Cypher.”

“Bookie’s back!” Flurry squealed as she scrambled to get on top of her mother. “Do you think he’ll give me candy like last time?”

“If you interrupt his studies enough, yes,” Cadance smiled, “but, if you don’t interrupt him at all you might just get ice cream for dessert tomorrow.”

“Yay! Ice cream!” Flurry galloped onto her mother’s back.

“Book Cypher?” I arched an eyebrow.

Cadance giggled and waved a hoof dismissively. “Just a professor of antiquities whose specialization was the ‘lost’ Crystal Empire.”

“I see.” I arched my brow further. “Also, uncle Mo Mo?”

“I read Twilight’s reports,” the alicorn of love stuck her tongue out at me, “so I know all about little Errant.”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s more the fact that you presume far too much about my relationship with Twilight.”

“I don’t know-ow!~” Cadance singsonged as she skipped away with Flurry on her back. “That little void of yours seems fuller than usual today! I actually had to focus on you to tell you were a changeling! What else could that mean but someling is starting to learn all about love?” She turned one last time to wink at me before she rounded the corner, giggling madly.

I stared after her for a few seconds, our thoughts awhirl. Finally – when it became quite clear ve were not going to think of anything that might alleviate my confusion at Cadance’s parting words – I picked up the food and turned to go. As I did so, I realized there were still several tangy scrapes of curiosity being directed toward me from several maids trying to remain hidden in the rooms they’d been cleaning.

“Can I help you?” I tried not to be short with them as my headache pounded away.

“So, you’re one of those changelings who can turn into anypony they want, right? Like that guard?” One of the maids poked out from behind her hiding spot hesitantly – emotions a mix of orange peels and a few orange blossoms.

She squeaked, blushing furiously. “Then, maybe… maybe, you could meet us at the Crystal Heart around nine? We get off from work then, and I’d love to— I mean, we. We’d love a chance to see what you can do. There are all sorts of rumors flying around between the guard and the papers, and I— I mean, we. We are all curious just what’s true and what isn’t.”

Well, this was awkward. A few of the harvesters who’d gone public had mentioned interactions like this, but ve hadn’t expected anypony to be so forward with me. I bit my chops and ran a hoof through my mane as ve mulled the invitation over.

“Ve don’t know…. I’d have to ask Twilight whether—”

“Oh…” the mare immediately slumped, “I thought from what you were just saying to Princess Cadance that the newspapers might have been wrong.”

Must. Not. Lie.

“We aren’t quite that serious yet.” I tsked as soon as I said that. Ve liked neither that answer nor what it would lead to, but the die had already been cast.

The mare looked up hopefully. “You mean…”

I shook my head. “I’ll talk to Twilight, but make no promises.” Ve weren’t worried she’d be possessive, of course. My intimate relationship with Twilight was fake, after all. Rather, ve were worried she would agree. Twilight knew changelings well enough by now to know standard procedure here. Harvesters were encouraged to take potential flings when they found them to cut down on how much pressure was applied to collection from their social network.

I was not a harvester, though, and I really didn’t want to start down the road to getting a reputation like Mother’s. If I just simply promised to talk to Twilight and conveniently brought the subject up too late, then…

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!” I was assaulted with a few pecks on the cheek as the maid glomped me and ran back into her room. “He said yes!”

Giggles erupted from behind the door, and I sighed. If this is what being Quick Wit would get me into, maybe I should set him aside. The free food was nice, but he was starting to net way too much attention for comfort.

“Let’s see. Twilight’s room was this way.”

Twilight mumbled something about checklists beneath her pillow – stretching before curling up in the way so many ponies do when they begin to rise from the land of slumber. An eye peeked from the fluffy confines of her cocoon to briefly meet my grinning face before searching the room in an attempt to take stock of the situation.

“Dreaming about checklists checking you off again?” My grin grew.

“Mo? What happened to me?” She completely avoided the question, staying safely beneath the blankets.

“You fainted when your brother mentioned he walked in on your conception.” Full honesty was the best policy here. “Your lack of sleep took over from there, and it’s now just a little after ten, so no train ride home today.”

“I see.” There was a squeak in response.

Flicking my wings, I gave a slow mournful chirp. “I did go out to grab us some food about an hour after dinner, but you slept far longer than ve expected, so it’s rather soggy now.”

“Doesn’t matter. I’m so hungry, I could eat a horse.” Twilight grumbled.

“Excuse me?” I arched an eyebrow.

“It’s a human thing.” Twilight slowly poked out of her cocoon. “Kind of extreme, I know, but I’m currently saddled with some extreme hunger.” A loud gurgle confirmed this. “What else did you get up to while I was out?”

“Nothing of note.” I shrugged. “I mostly just looked after you while you slept.” Hesitating momentarily, I bit my chops. “There was one thing that came up that I wanted to talk to you about, though…. I’ve told you what standard procedure is for harvesters when somepony wants a fling, right?”

Twilight nodded, taking a bite of her very droopy salad. “You only mentioned it in passing, but I can extrapolate. Every little bit helps when it means less of a chance of overfeeding. I can’t say I approve, but…” She vaguely waved a hoof.

Inwardly, I sighed in relief. Her disapproval made things so much easier for me – not the other harvesters, mind, just me. Still, I stuck to our script.

“Well, your approval was kind of what I needed to ask you about. Somepony… somepony actually asked me on a date – despite who and what I am. It’s been happening to some of the other public harvesters too, and they just go with the flow as if it were procedure, but most of those who do so report their few remaining pony friends are somewhat put off by the idea.”

I rubbed the back of my head. “Honestly, ve never thought I’d end up in such circumstances, but – now that I’ve found myself in them – it is only polite to ask your view of such things. Clearly, you disapprove, though, so I’ll just—”

A fork full of salad hit the floor with a clatter. “Somepony asked you on a date?” There was a slight hitch to Twilight’s voice and I suddenly had to resist the urge to scratch my muzzle.

Twilight was jealous? Curious. It clearly couldn’t be the standard kind – no crush, no love, no reason – but, as the fiasco with Rainbow had shown, there were a few sub-schools out there. Perhaps it was less that somepony wanted to date me and more that somepony wasn’t dating her?

Bah! I refrained from snorting. That was ridiculous. If Twilight wanted a date, she wouldn’t be pretending to go out with me. It was a mystery for another time, I supposed, as ve filed the information away.

Perhaps the analysts would know what to make of it.

“I suppose…” Twilight finally broke the silence she had created. “I suppose that I can’t really say no. I understand the reasoning on why you should accept, even if I disagree with the practice. I mean, I already basically gave implicit approval to the practice when I arranged those licenses for the Echo triplets, so it’d be really hypocritical of me to forbid you from seeing anypony.”

She ground her teeth as she picked up her fork and violently shoved more salad down her gullet. “Plus, it’s not like our relationship is real or anything, so I have no right to impose a monogamous status upon it – even if a polyamorous status promises far more headaches down the line.”

There was an underlying spicy, simmering, heat to her emotions now, and the itch was starting to spread. Her wings ruffled every so often as she bit, chomped, and tore into her meal with more savagery than usual.

Time to go to script C, then.

“Twilight…” I sat beside her and thrummed, “...you don’t have to approve if you don’t want to. The reason I’m asking is ve know it makes some ponies uncomfortable, and I’d rather not risk losing you as a friend.”

Twilight responded by tearing a chunk from one of the sandwiches.

I shuffled awkwardly in my seat, wings rubbing haphazardly together to make several discordant chirps. “You know, it’s actually a relief that you don’t approve? It gives me an excuse not to follow protocol.”

I squirmed as Twilight continued to eat and say nothing. “I mean, ve’d prefer you not tell the others, but I always secretly disliked this particular policy. It leaves far too much to chance, and can easily fracture a social network just as much as it can cut down on pressure.”

Sighing, I stood and began to pace. “There isn’t much I can do about it with the current state of things, either, although that might be changing with harvesters going public.”

“Idiot.” Lavender feathers filled my vision, and I suddenly found myself wrapped up in a chokehold masquerading as a hug. “Why’d you even bring it up, then? Did you just want to make things awkward?”

“W-well, I gave my word I’d talk to you on the matter.” I gave a whistling wheeze. “Of course, they think I am merely checking whether we’re in an open relationship.”

The pseudo-chokehold tightened into a slightly more realistic one. “Oh? You didn’t think that might cause trouble for us when the papers find out.”

“Peace! Peace!” I couldn’t help but cackle. “The less reputable ones already claim I cheat on you and countless others with my ability to shapeshift into anypony. I supposedly have an unwitting harem of hundreds of clueless mares from every corner of Equestria, and you’re worried about me being asked on a date?”

“Nopony believes that dribble!” Twilight huffed as she let me go to return to her meal. “Honestly, I need to talk to Celestia about those particular trash heaps that call themselves newspapers. Freedom of speech is one thing, but spreading crazy, sensational, and – most importantly – false rumors for the sake of business is another.”

“Peace, Twilight.” I patted her withers as my cackles died down to chuckles. “Everypony will see the truth eventually. Just let them have their laughs for now. Some of the things they accuse me of doing to keep my cover are hilarious.”

“Hmph!” Twilight rolled her eyes. “Regardless, you going to sit down and eat with me already?”

“I suppose I could eat some more.” I sat beside Twilight once more and grabbed a sandwich.

“So… who asked you on the date?” Twilight crunched into what little of the salad wasn’t a soggy mess.

“I never actually got her name.” I bit into the sandwich and savored the seasonings. “I was kind of in a rush to get back.”

“I see….” Twilight gulped audibly. “Do you want to… pretend to be more serious to avoid this kind of thing in the future?”

I froze mid-bite before gently lowering my sandwich. Was that… the taste of orange blossoms in the air? “Ve are perfectly fine with the current ruse. Your disapproval should be enough to discourage others.”

Twilight fidgeted. “From both perspectives?”

By the First Father, it was. She was starting to get curious in a very bad way. Don’t. Panic. The taste was so faint as to mean nothing. Merely a frail bud or two – completely unlike the castle staff from early. It wasn’t actualized, and therefore wouldn’t count as long as Twilight didn’t think about it.

“I am also fine with things as they stand.” I smiled as much as I dared.

“Well, alright then.” Twilight thankfully returned to her food, and the taste of flowers faded.

We ate in silence for a few minutes before she spoke once more. “Are you sure nothing else happened? You don’t look so good. The guards didn’t give you any more issues? My brother didn’t do something stupid?”

“Nope! Nothing of note! Absolutely nothing!” Smile and wave. Just smile and wave. Try not to stare at Twilight’s forehead. Ve knew the terror would eventually go away if I just smiled and waved. I knew much less about how to get rid of the traitorous thoughts now rising in our mind.

Thoughts of an earlier experiment with inconclusive results.

So, yes, as you can see, absolutely nothing further happened on our trip. It certainly wasn’t the cornerstone of any groundbreaking changes for me or Twilight. I mean, sure I made some progress with Shining Armor, but ve weren’t so foolish as to even briefly believe things were truly settled between us.

Training the Troops (Morpheus) Part 2

Training the Troops (Morpheus) Part 1

Changing Times’ Notes: It should be apparent that I prefer to focus these stories on the good side of changelings rather than the bad. That does not change the fact that some changelings are deplorable beings. Some changelings will never learn, and will always be threats. Some changelings shall lurk in the shadows, waiting to strike, as long as they live.

While it does not delve into the darker side of the rabbit hole, this report humbly reminds me that we must be prepared – just in case the worst happens.

Training the Troops: A Report by Morpheus of House Sicadia

Despite the lack of assassination attempts since Wyrman – or maybe because of them – I found myself taking certain measures to protect Twilight during those times that Hera and I couldn’t be there. Twilight might not need saving in the traditional sense, but – as Wyrman had shown – even she could be caught by surprise. Our primary concern was limited to finding such an attack before it happened so that she or her friends might have a chance to steal the initiative.

That is, of course, assuming they didn’t get blindsided by any acts of desperation again. Ve are still somewhat perplexed over how Twilight did such a good job unmasking Wyrman only to be caught unawares by his suicide gamble.

Cornered rats are capable of many things, after all.

Regardless, the first step I had taken was to order Spi to discreetly tail Twilight much like Hera tailed me. Alas, one watcher did not catch anything, and in time my paranoia returned. After some debate, ve decided to add Wyrman to this duty as well, but, still, noling was found.

Thus it was, that I decided even more of a watchful eye was needed, but had no more infiltrators with me to help. Ve could have ordered several more to Ponyville, of course, but the most unexpectedly dastardly scheme came to us a few nights before our trip to the Crystal Empire.

Ve had spent the time beforehoof preparing to put it into motion, and – after the brief blip that was the Empire – I returned ready to make a potentially game changing move.

It was just before dawn, but ve were not surprised by the fact that Rainbow Dash was not within her home. There had only been a minuscule chance of finding her there, and I had only stopped by there as it was on the way to Applejack’s. Just in case, ve wanted to cover all our bases. As it was, Dash would likely either be at AJ’s or the farmer would know where her marefriend was.

My wings buzzed quietly as I – or rather Snow Flurry – lumbered through the air. To those below, I was naught but a pudgy, smiling, razzmatazz, pegasus, and ve liked it that way. Snow was a much less known face of mine, and ve did not want to attract the attention of any agents that might be lurking in Ponyville.

The winds carried me over Sweet Apple Acres, and as I landed in front of the homestead, I once more had to push my way through the miasma that formed from generations’ worth of Apple family love.

Knocking on the door, I shifted out of disguise and waited until the door opened to the familiar face of a gentle red giant. He stared at me – our usual wordless greetings passing between us – until he arched a brow.

“RD or mah sis?” He fiddled with the piece of hay he had stuck between his lips.

“Both, please.” I smiled.

“You in trouble?”

“Not exactly.”

“Better stay that way.”

“You have my word.”

He scrutinized me for a few more moments before turning to bellow up the stairs. “Sis! RD! You two got company!” He nodded to me and waved me inside. “Care for breakfast?”

I shook my head. “I wouldn’t want to impose.”

Big Mac pulled another chair from the living room into the kitchen. “Ain’t imposing if Ah ask.”

Biting my chops, I hesitantly nodded. “I suppose I wouldn’t mind an apple or two. Nothing heavy – for me or the girls – although a big lunch would be nice. I don’t want them getting cramps mid-training, but they’ll deserve a reward after what I’m planning to do to them today.”

“Training?” The stallion tilted his head by the tiniest of margins. “Sis didn’t mention no training.”

I ran a hoof through my mane. “Yeah…. She doesn’t exactly know about it. Don’t worry, though. The Echo triplets should be here soon to cover for her chores.”

“Ain’t the chores Ah’m worried about.” Big Mac snorted.

“What’s that about chores, Mac?” A scuffled looking Applejack came in with an equally scuffled Rainbow Dash. Based on the extra salty tang to Rainbow Dash’s scent – and the rather potent musk wafting from Applejack – they had had a rather exciting night. The damp manes and coats suggested a rushed shower, but, even with that, there was a leftover hint of leather to their emotions.

“You don’t have any today.” For the sake of politeness, I refrained from commenting on their odor. It wasn’t really that bad – at least for non-emotivores – but the mix of imbued emotions into the perspiration made it particularly pungent for me. “The Echo triplets are taking your work for the day, AJ, while you and Dash come with me.”

“To do what?” Applejack arched her brow. “No offense, sugarcube, but ah ain’t gonna drop everything willy-nilly for you.”

I glanced between everypony, thoughts whirling. “Pinkie Promise not to tell?”

That earned a glare from Applejack and Rainbow. “Ah’d say we’re all plenty trustworthy enough to not need one.”

Big Mac simply whistled as he went from cabinet to cabinet, tossing me two apples and throwing together what appeared to be a light apple and walnut salad for Dash and AJ.

“Fair enough.” I shrugged. “It was a rather dirty move to invoke the Enigma, but ve need you to understand this must stay between us.”

I looked in the direction of Castle where Twilight was most assuredly sleeping off yet another study binge. “Ve do not trust the idea that Mother is running interference on the assassins meant for Twilight and me. Even if she is, she is liable to stop at any point in time simply to test my own capabilities. As such, Spi and Wyrman have already been assigned to tail her like Hera does me.”

Turning my gaze back to Applejack and Rainbow Dash, I made sure to look them in the eyes. “That is not enough, however. Any changeling worth their salt invests in backup plans and redundancies. Ve believe that teaching you two the arts of tremor sense and wind sense – as well as some combat techniques – will add an unexpected and potentially unpredictable element to Twilight’s defense.”

“Does Twilight know she has a couple of stalkers?” Rainbow ruffled her wings and pretended to preen a feather to hide her agitation.

“No, she doesn’t, because I just know Twilight would be uncomfortable with the knowledge that she had a guard.” I flicked my wings. “Also, I can still taste your annoyance, Dash. Ve aren’t sure why you think you need to walk on eggshells around me recently, but I’d prefer you not try to hide it. Hive knows you didn’t have any problems being honest with your emotions when we first met.”

“I’m not annoyed! I was just worried that Twilight wouldn’t like it if she knew! Thanks for considering how she’d feel!” Rainbow’s preening intensified and I made sure to keep my gaze on Applejack.

The farmer looked at me with a casual-yet-calculating look that could give her brother a run for his money. “Ah’m sure she would, sugarcube, but ya should still tell her yer looking out for her.” She elbowed Rainbow. “And stop that! Yer making our guest mighty uncomfortable.”

Still whistling, Big Mac set the finished salads on the kitchen table. He arched an eyebrow at his sister – eyes shifting from her to me.

“Alright. Alright.” Applejack sighed, slumping into her seat. “Big Mac is never going ta shut up about it if we don’t go with you. Still thinks we owe you for the concussion.” She pulled Rainbow into the chair beside her. “Just give us a moment ta scarf down break—”

There was a knock on the door, along with two quick message spells from the triplets. “We’re here. Can we seduce Macintosh, now?”

“—fast.” The farmer glared through the wall in the general direction of the door. “Ya mind getting that, Mac? They at least had the decency ta knock before you sat down to.”

“I’ll get it.” I waved Big Mac towards his seat, set my apples on the table, and trotted into the hall. “It’s just the triplets, here for your chores.” Nothing else.

“Oh, and Rainbow!” I called over my shoulder. “I forgot to mention that you’re covered, too – not that you’d have much to do on such a bright, sunny, day, but Webber is coordinating things in your absence.” Trotting to the door, I opened it expecting to find the Echo triplets pulling out all the seduction stops.

“Howdy, y’all!”

Instead, a sea of orange and freckles met me as I opened the door.

“Not what ya were all expecting, Mah Lord?” The middle Applejack drawled

“Or is it exactly what ya wanted?” The outer two Applejacks giggled.

I stopped to stare so ve might take stock of the situation. “Ve assume you know better than to seduce Big Mac, then?”

“We had you going for a second, though, didn’t we?” There was a chorus of laughs.

“Yes. Yes, you did….” I sighed, massaging the bridge of my snout. “Ve shudder at the thought of what you were planning to do if Big Mac or Applejack opened the door, though. Just… just stay on the porch here until Big Mac comes to get you, then. And no playing jokes on him!”

Closing the door, I projected sweet reassurances through the door. They had tried not to show it, but I could taste the slightly sour undercurrent of their anxiety. Pranking a lord was completely unheard of back at the hive. Doing so, even here at an isolated location, must have taken a lot of their nerve.

I walked back into the kitchen and sat down. “They’ll be waiting for you on the porch, Mac.”

The stallion chewed and swallowed his mouthful of salad ponderously. “Eeyup.”

“Also—” I squirmed “—please don’t get mad if they try to seduce you. I mean, they told me they were just joking, but they’re harvesters, so…” I bit into one of the apples I’d left behind and deposited the other in my corbiculae.

Big Mac took another bite, forestalling his answer once more. “Eeyup.”

“Yes you will? Or yes you won’t?”

Crunch. Chew. Swallow. “No reason to get mad, is there?”

“Harvesters can be a bit…” ve hesitated, “...overwhelming when they set their sights on somepony like that.”

Finishing the last of his salad, Big Mac stood. Slowly collecting everypony’s bowls, he put them in the sink before tightening his yoke. “Can’t be any worse than the rest of Ponyville.”

“Both mares and stallions, regardless of which way their wind blows.” Rainbow waggled her eyebrows until Applejack slugged her in the shoulder.

“Ow!” She rubbed her shoulder and pouted in mock pain. “As if his chiseled abs held a candle to your buns of steel.” She pecked her marefriend on the cheek. “Besides, he snores almost as loud as you do.”

Big Mac gave a rumbling sigh as he opened the window beside him with a practiced movement – approximately a quarter of a second after Rainbow’s comment. Almost too slow for Rainbow’s equally quick exit, but far faster than AJ could wind up her lasso. The entire scene – not even a full second in length – had been so in synch that one could easily think it was staged.

At least, ve had the first time I’d seen it.

With measured patience, Applejack lowered her lasso and sighed. “Ya know, if Ah just took a step to the left—”

A rainbow blur rushed back in and out, leaving a feather in Applejack’s mane.

“—Ah could trip her up when she does that? Ah love that gal, but she’s as predictable as the weather sometimes.”

I bit into the last of my apple, levitating the core into the garbage. “I would agree, but the saying kind of loses meaning when we’re right next to the Everfree, doesn’t it?”

“Nope.” Applejack plucked the feather free so she could bind it more securely with the band in her mane. “Living by the Everfree makes the saying just right.”

I thrummed. “Wise words, if ve’ve ever heard them.”

Applejack and Rainbow Dash were failing the first test – horrendously.

Hera, Wyrman, and Lyra had been following us deeper and deeper into Whitetail Woods for the last fifteen minutes, and they hadn’t noticed yet – not even Lyra, who acted more pony than changeling and was only a harvester. Admittedly, ve had expected as much, but I had thought that maybe – just maybe – they would surprise us.

Levitating my map in front of me, I discreetly hid my message spell. “It’s a wash. Move in.”

A sudden, shrieking, buzz pierced the air as the ‘bear’ that had been lurking near us since we entered the woods burst into emerald flames. Applejack cringed at the auditory assault, while Rainbow outright collapsed. I, myself, knew it was coming, and I barely managed not to follow Applejack’s lead.

Hera leapt from the flames, a hulking behemoth of chitin and muscle. She charged the disoriented Applejack, and quickly pinned the farmer before she could gain any kind of leverage.

I tsked at the display. “Lesson one: expect the unexpected. Even changeling warriors – blunt and to the point as they are – will attempt to utilize any advantage they can.”

Hera ceased rubbing her wings together to make that hive-forsaken, unearthly, chirp, letting Applejack and Rainbow up. Her azure armor plates were thankfully devoid of their usual spikes – as I’d asked – but I could see she’d taken the initiative to repurpose them instead of removing them. Her ‘helmet’ now also ensconced her horn in a protective layer so thick that ve doubted anypony would be able to disrupt her spell casting with a mere flick to the horn. Even a buck to the head might not do it, depending on how many synthetic painkillers were pumping through her veins.

Saluting me, she ignored the glares coming from the two mares. “Lesson two: know your enemy, if possible. I was able to completely incapacitate Miss Dash—” a flash of heat and spice filled the air before she could manage a filter “—by utilizing her sensitivity to the wind sense.”

“Not cool, dude.” Rainbow rubbed at her ears with her hooves.

Hera hissed out a deep, echoing, thrumm, and I hastily interjected myself between them.

“Ladies. Ladies.” I tried to wave away their aggression. “No need to fight between lessons. You’ll be doing enough of that during class.” I smiled apologetically at AJ and Dash. “Don’t worry, though. When we’re done with you, you should be able to beat Hera seven times out of ten.”

Hera tsked, and I glared at her. “You know you can’t make up for their raw magical strength. Now lighten up, before you go making enemies with the two Elements that took the longest for me to placate.”

The warrior bowed her head, suitably humbled, and stood off to the side behind me. Staring stoically into the distance, she dutifully waited for orders – probably simmering beneath her facade.

I shook my head and sighed at the sight of her standing stiff as a rock. This whole thing might send my progress with Hera back a few steps. Still, there wasn’t much I could do about that other than silently try to placate Hera with my dry, lemony-sweet, concerns.

I turned back to Applejack and Rainbow as I continued to silently sooth Hera. “Now I understand you two are agitated from those tests—” the combat had been a separate second test, and it was to confirm or deny my fears on their prior experience with fighting changelings during the wedding “—but I needed to see where I needed to begin.”

I gazed around the remnants of their battlefield, although calling it that was generous. “To put it bluntly, I’ve got my work cut out for me with you two, but, if you stick with me, it’ll be worth it. Once you know all the tricks we can throw at you, then you’ll be prepared to handle them, and you should easily be able to overwhelm any threats to Twilight or yourselves.”

I closed my eyes to thrum in thought. “Not only that, but you’ll be able to find said threats to Twilight and yourselves – which is honestly more important. With her kind of power, Twilight could probably handle an entire legion of changelings on her own, as long as she isn’t caught off guard. With her lack of finesse controlling her pegasus and earth pony magic, though, I can’t teach her the easiest ways to catch the kind of threats she really needs to be aware of.”

“Tests?” Rainbow looked around as Applejack silently arched an eyebrow at me. “As in, more than one? Are the woods completely full of changelings ready to jump out at us or something? Cuz that would be awesome!”

“The first test was if you noticed Hera.” I pulled out a checklist – encrypted with a basic cypher in case Rainbow tried to sneak a peak – and made a show of going over it. “The second was if you could take Hera. Unfortunately, it seems the changelings you faced at Canterlot were nothing but some of Mother’s conscripts. Ve had thought that maybe Mother had deemed you a high enough threat to merit her elite troops, but both she and her ego must have underestimated you.”

I tsked. “Regardless, more tests are to come, but first I must teach you two the arts of tremor sense and wind sense. You two are simply at too much of a disadvantage without it, considering how easily Hera was making it for you two to notice her. She ambled into view no less than twenty-seven times as the exact same bear, and you didn’t once get suspicious.”

Walking around the two, I stopped behind Rainbow and poked her. “Wings out! Feel the wind in your feathers, and tell me what it whispers to you.”

“Uhh… Mo? This is a forest. Wind doesn’t really reach this deep.” There was a small whip crack Rainbow flicked her tail at me but nonetheless spread her wings.

“The wind is just a metaphor.” I chuckled. “All of the atmosphere – the very air itself – is constantly speaking to you, much like the earth constantly speaks to Applejack. Normally with ponies, the conversation is one way, but you’ve proven you have what it takes to listen to the wind, Dash.”

With a flick of my wings, I crafted a small breeze, and sent a message through the air such that it avoided Rainbow’s ears yet traveled over her wings. “Ve’re confident you and – dare I say – hopefully Applejack will learn to attune to your respective elements. Now, tell me what the wind says!”

Rainbow fidgeted for exactly ten seconds flat. “I don’t know, alright! How the hay do you listen to wind?! Can’t we just fight changelings?”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Have ya tried actually listening, hon? Ah’m pretty sure a little patience might go a long way.”

“Urgh….” Rainbow rolled her shoulders slowly and arduously – the weight of immeasurable boredom on her back. “It’s so boring to just stand here with my wings out, though. I used to hate when the teachers at flight camp did exercises like this.”

Okay, then…. Clearly, ve needed to reevaluate the traditional plan of approach. Infiltrator training probably wasn’t going to work with somepony who had the attention span of a filly. Perhaps something more nymph level was needed.

“Just try, Rainbow.” I was, thankfully, behind the pegasus still, so she didn’t see me baring my fangs in a predatory grin.

Applejack did, and raised her eyebrow once more, but she didn’t actually say anything. Rainbow fidgeted as she futilely tried to listen, and I counted to ten in my head. Just before the ten second mark, I twisted the breeze I was maintaining so that it blew past her ears.

“What was that?!” Her ears attempted to violently swat the air repeatedly.

“You tell me.” My grin threatened to decapitate me as I changed the message on the wind, staggering it such that she had to concentrate on multiple passes to catch it all. Ten seconds later, I sent the breeze past her ears again.

“Eye…” Rainbow’s neck was taut, and her wings were flared, “...ma… moor… on…”

“You’re almost there!” I buzzed excitedly. “You just need to use your wings to read everything at once! Make the wind do your bidding!”

Rainbow’s temple throbbed as her she suddenly stopped fidgeting. Her feathers twitched in a manner far more cohesive and organized than before before she opened her mouth to scream in victory.

“I’m a moron!”

There was a moment of silence before I began to cackle. Rainbow soon joined me in laughing, and even Applejack couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Oh, I’m so getting you for that.” Rainbow slugged me in the shoulder.

“It worked didn’t it?” I bared my fangs in a grin and sent forth another breeze.

Her wings twitched and she blushed slightly. “How the hay do you know— What do you mean, ‘Castle is always watching?!’” Her wings flared, and her blush deepened – the taste of rubber fading into leather.

“Umm… Rainbow?” I chittered nervously. “I didn’t say anything about Castle.” Several messages to the watching Spi and Lyra – as well as a glance at the still stock still Hera – informed me that they hadn’t been involved.

Rainbow’s wings twitched again, and she rolled her eyes. “Sure, you didn’t – like how you didn’t just make a fat joke. Quit being immature! You’ve made your point already!”

Twitch.

“Oh, real nice. I bet you say that to all the girls in your ‘secret harem’ the papers are always going on about. You should know I don’t—”

Twitcha-twitch.

“Hey! I can use my shower head however I want, and I don’t appreciate you implying—”

Twitchity-twitch.

“I had to get the whipped cream out somehow! So what if it happened to—

Twitch. Twitch. Twitch.

“Argh!”

There was a smacking sound as a wing hit my face.

Twitch. Twitch. Twitch.

“Rainbow!” Applejack stomped a hoof. “What in the hay is wrong with you?! Didn’t you just hear what Morpheus had to say?”

Rainbow sheepishly rubbed the back of her head. “The wind was kind of distracting me. I’m guessing the fact that the laughter is still going on means that you stopped a while ago?”

“Yes.” I tentatively checked my cheek for cracks. “ I stopped after I first got you to listen. If you had bothered listening to me and not the wind past that point, you would have realized that. That brings us to the next lesson, however. Lesson three: the wind can be an enormous ass. You must learn to filter the useful info from the drivel.”

“Please let me beat her to a pulp for hitting you.” There was a piteous whine from Hera’s wings, and her composure momentarily broke. As she shifted weight from one hoof to the other, I could see her straining muscles in anticipation of a pounce she had to have known would never come.

“She just assaulted you again, and you’re just… just… argh!” With a vicious buzz and a hiss at Rainbow, she wordlessly expressed her thoughts on what I was doing before I sensed an even stronger filter clamp down over her – an emotional void in the world. Her distrust was the only emotion I could pick up from her – an extra bitter glare directed towards Rainbow as she forced herself back into a statuesque salute.

“Woah. Somepony needs a chill pill.” Rainbow began to hover around Hera, poking at her for a reaction. “Seriously, what’s your deal with me. You never lashed out before.”

“Hera is the epitome of discipline when she needs to be.” I tsked as I felt a small crack. “You haven’t seen her like this before because she usually bottles up her issues with you when you’re near. She does, however, take issue with how you treated me when I arrived.”

Pulling some carapace cement from my corbiculae, I began to treat the mostly superficial wound. “Ve had assumed she would show just as much discipline here, but ve suppose the chance to vent on you in controlled conditions is causing her to slip.”

Grabbing Rainbow with my telekinesis, I dragged her away from the increasingly bitter and now blistering air around my loyal guard. “Also, stop that. You’re only making things worse. Hera needs to come to terms with you at her own pace – not with you trying to force a chill pill down her throat. Poking at her is liable to cause a repeat – albeit a reversed repeat – of what happened between you and me, and I’d rather avoid hospitalizing either of you with a concussion or worse.”

Definitely worse given Hera’s current state. That wing slap Rainbow gave me had to have been hard to leave a crack. Letting Hera see that was equivalent to poking an already angry wasp nest.

An enormous and enraged wasp nest with a queen the size of a small bear.

“Now, keep this pose and tell me everything the wind says to you word for word! Ve’re sure you’ll eventually here about some of the… guests and presents I had scattered throughout the forest for today. Learn what that feels like so you can tune out the unimportant stuff.”

Still holding Rainbow in my telekinesis, I set her in a sturdy stance and forced her wings open just like those exercises from flight camp she hated so much. Sure, it was petty, and I felt a little guilty doing it, but I wanted to make sure Hera saw she wasn’t alone. I wouldn’t put up with antagonization from either her nor Rainbow while we were training.

“Eurgh….” Rainbow tried and failed to hold the pose.

I corrected her.

Several times.

“Now, Applejack.” I turned most of my attention to the thankfully level headed-farmer. She was being far more patient than ve had any right to expect. “I’m sorry for taking so long to get to you. Have you ever heard the earth speak to you? Ve don’t expect a yes, but I want to cover all the options. It’s an extremely rare talent among the hive, but working on your farm showed me just how differently we use our earth pony magic. For all ve know, what’s exceedingly rare for us might just be part and parcel for powerful earth ponies.”

“Ah don’t think so, sugarcube?” The farmer rolled her shoulders and poked at the ground. “And before ya ask, no, Ah ain’t ever heard of any earth ponies like that either. Some of the really old rock farm families might be able to do that, but if they can they’ve kept that secret for a mighty long time. Still, might explain that Pairing Stone Pinkie’s family mentioned.”

Great. Yet another mystery to never ask the Pink Menace about. Maybe if ve sent an agent to talk to the rest of her family…

I shook my head before our musings on the Enigma got the best of me. “Oh well. It was a long shot, ve weren’t sure I would be able to help you with that – even with our knowledge on the matter. Our memories on the subject are… confusing…. Most don’t translate well to changelings incapable of the feat – like me. Probably for the best, though. From our understanding, just because someling can hear the earth doesn’t mean it will talk to them nor tell them what they want. Wind may be mischievous, but it is malleable. Earth likes to be as stubborn and silent as a rock.”

Looking back at Rainbow, I corrected her stance – only mildly paying attention to all the mundane drivel her wind sense was feeding her. Mostly jokes or obscene observations. Every once in awhile she’d claim to hear laughing over some pegasus crashing. When I was sure she’d stay in position for more than five seconds, I turned back to Applejack.

“If listening to the earth is out, though, ve are almost positive ve can teach you how to actively use tremor sense. Ve are a little worried you might not be able to read it – given your raw magical strength and the amount of input you might get back – but ve will cross that bridge when we reach it, if it becomes an issue for you.”

Setting myself into a wide stance, I nodded appreciatively as Applejack copied me without needing to be told.

“Do note: ve are going off our memories – not mine. I am not comfortable enough with tremor sense to teach it to you.”

Applejack arched an eyebrow but nodded without complaint, and I closed my eyes as ve considered how to start. The lesson would be good for me as well with any luck.

“Now the first thing to do is learn how to make the pulse. Ve want you to focus on a point within your chest roughly where your heart is. Can you do that?

“Eeyup.” Her response was slow and measured.

“Good. Now slowly move that point down your foreleg to the tip of your hoof. When it gets there, bring it back, moving at the same steady speed you took it there. Repeat this cycle – this rhythm – until your foreleg starts to tingle. Tell me when that happens.”

“Eeyup.”

There were several minutes of nothing but Rainbow rattling off the latest town gossip as she picked up a breeze coming from Rarity.

“Try to keep your feathers still. If you just let them twitch at every little breeze, you’ll never learn to read the wind.” The harsh fractured buzz of Hera’s voice had me glancing at her worriedly for a moment, but the rigid emotionless discipline to her form assured me of her intentions.

Hera snorted. “If you keep your feathers rigid for a moment after the wind hits, you’ll get a sense of how it’s trying to shape your wings – and thus what kind of messages it’s giving you. Yes, that’s right. I said messages. You’re getting a bunch at once and just rattling off the small stuff. Figure out how to differentiate between different whispers of wind, and you can ignore the messages you don’t want so you can actually hear what you’re listening for.”

I tried to smile gratefully to the warrior for playing nice, but she was avoiding looking straight at me.

“Ah think Ah got it.”

I internally sighed, turning my smile to Applejack instead. She hesitantly accepted it with one of her own.

“What now?”

“Now,” I closed my eyes again, “I want you to extend that feeling across your body. Start by alternating which foreleg you send your focus down, and, when you get a good rhythm going doing that, move on to splitting your focus down both forelegs at once. When you master that, do the same for all four legs at once, and – if you can manage to do that before I check on you again – try and push that feeling beyond your hooves.”

Silence – relatively speaking – descended upon us once more. Going through the exercise myself, I let myself get lost in the tingly sensation of pulsing down first one foreleg then another. It was a lot harder than I remembered, and I kept accidentally sending full pulses down all four hooves into the earth out of habit.

I lacked control: I lacked finesse, and it bothered me much more than I liked.

Still, I at least had the control to split my attention with the exercise and Rainbow Dash. Hera was proving her mettle once more by giving tips and advice – which we knew must have been hard for her. I could still taste the heated, bitter, air around her, but now it was driven – focused by a steel funnel of resolve.

And then, there was a spike of various oranges and cotton candy – curiosity, surprise, and the euphoria of something new.

“Woah, nelly!”

Beyond our wildest expectations for the day, Applejack managed to consciously pulse her magic through the earth. There was a slight ripple beneath my hooves as the massive wave of Applejack’s magic managed to warp the very earth, and the rustling creak of trees filled the air as they shifted their boughs instinctively toward the epicenter of the blast.

Then the pulse came back, and I stumbled at the raw information that spilled into my hooves without me asking. I nearly fainted as images of miles worth of terrain flashed through our mind’s eye.

The trees shuddered, and the earth rumbled, and ve quailed at the thought of what teaching this to Twilight might involve.

Finally, as the pulse returned to its point of origin, Applejack bucked and reared – jumping high from the ground like it was lava. A pained, terrified, whinny tore its way from her throat before she crashed into earth, unconscious.

Ve stared into the distance, stuck attempting to parse the massive wave of information that was overwhelming my senses. I was vaguely aware that Rainbow had broken her posture to rushe to her marefriend’s side, and I only had to correct her posture once or twice before I became aware enough to realize that was not helping.

“Woah, nelly, indeed….” I rolled my shoulders methodically. There was a cracking sound as all my plates popped, and – once I was suitably sure I wouldn’t collapse – I released my stabilization rods from both my fetlock cavities and the ground.

Wait. I had grounded myself? I hadn’t even felt myself deploy those amid the rush of information.

Blinking my haw a time or two, ve finally finished processing all the critical data, and quickly shoved the rest to the side so I could take stock of the situation. A frantic Rainbow Dash was half-nudging, half-nuzzling a mumbling, comatose Applejack, while Hera stood eerily still. Both the warrior and the farmer were no doubt stuck in the same dilemma I had been in. Spi and Lyra – still in hiding – were probably in a similar boat.

“Well, then. It’d be best for us to figure out a counter to that – whatever that was.” I wobbily waved at Applejack only slightly aware that nopony – or ling – was paying attention. “And I think we can all agree that the next step is teaching Applejack finesse.”

There was a series of clicks, clacks, and a piteous whistling chirp as the statue know as Hera collapsed in a heap on the ground. “By the Azure Veil, I feel like I just lost a fight with a mountain….” She blinked several times, and hissed – the sour taste of spoiled milk suddenly curdling the air around her. “Morpheus? Morpheus?! I can’t see you, Morpheus! The influx won’t stop!”

“Lyra is similarly incapacitated. I have regained control.” Two messages came in from Spi, one after the other.

“Assist Lyra with parsing data.” I silently fired back a reply. “I’ll take Hera and Applejack.”

Stepping up to Hera, I crossed my horn with hers and gently probed for a private connection. She acquiesced, and ve were once more assaulted by the data Applejack had harvested. Poking through what my most loyal friend had and hadn’t parsed, ve realized she had accidentally skipped some info that needed to be handled before the process could be safely sidelined. With a small tweak, ve corrected the issue, and Hera hissed once more as her field of view switched back to our local little slice of the woods.

Helping her up, I gave her a small hug. “I need you to restrain Rainbow if she decides to resist when ve’re helping Applejack.

“Affirmative.” There was a stoic nod from the warrior – the most microscopic of smiles curving up the corners of her mouth.

“What’d you do to her, you jerk?!” I was unceremoniously pushed to the side by Hera as a rainbow bullet shot at us with a whip crack.

Hera faced Dash’s onslaught head-on: literally. She caught the pegasus’ blow on her heavily reinforced horn, first deflecting her to the side. As Rainbow passed her, she deftly caught the pegasus’ tail in her telekinesis, and redirected her once more – straight into the ground. Quickly jumping onto her target, she used her extra weight to pin and restrain Rainbow, and she turned the grief-stricken mares head towards me as I got up as fast I could to skitter over to Applejack.

“I’d just love to say ve knew better than to expect anything else from you, but that would be petty and unprofessional.” Hera hissed into her prisoner’s ear. “In the same vein, right now your anger is incredibly petty and unprofessional. I know how much it hurts to see the one you care for the most in pain, but you know better than to doubt your friend by now. See that? See him trying to help Applejack?!”

Rainbow gave a strangled snort that transitioned into a sob, breathing heavily as she watched us work our magic. The connection had been made, but was muddied, and Applejack’s thoughts were sluggish compared to our own as she futilely tried to weather the avalanche of information.

A mountain of information continued to fall on her as her mind ran in circles trying to escape it all. Thousands of pieces of irrelevant information bombarded her like pebbles as she had to sidestep boulder after boulder of the big stuff. She wasn’t even trying to read the information – merely instinctually passing it around in an eternal feedback loop – forcing us to go through the monumental task of parsing the entire package.

It took a good fifteen minutes to manage all the critical info – to build the superstructure that house all the nitty-gritty – and, when ve did so, ve miserably realized ve were forced to continue, as it seemed pony minds couldn’t pause the influx once it began like changelings could.

Another hour passed with nopony moving. Rainbow had calmed and was quietly sniffling into Hera’s chest, while Applejack continued to mumble incoherently before me. Hera sat without complaint, thrumming a nameless tune to comfort her current charge.

At some point, Spi and Lyra had shown up to help – as had Webber and the Echo triplets, who claimed to have felt the wave of magic all the way in Ponyville.

In the end, we all had to parse a detailed survey of a twenty mile radius that included a good section of the woods and most of Ponyville. We had discovered two infiltrators tailing us – certainly long gone – five infiltrators still in Ponyville that weren’t known members of the Everfree Hive, thirteen harvesters that Lyra vouched for as either being from the Everfree or from a neutral third-party hive, and one fellow lord who was most likely Mother despite the oddity of the readings.

Applejack was now gently snoring, having curled right up under Rainbows wing after it had been deemed safe to let the pegasus go.

“I am so sorry, Rainbow Dash.” Hanging my head, I kicked at the ground. “Ve didn’t expect this as an outcome even in our wildest projections.”

Rainbow nuzzled her marefriend, brushing her lips against Applejack’s forehead. “If anything, I’m the one who should be apologizing, flyboy. If I’d just stopped to think for a moment.”

“Your reaction was natural.” Hera tsked. “Do not beat yourself up for it. Merely ensure you do better next time.”

“Urgh….” Rainbow’s wings twitched restlessly, causing Applejack to wrap her tail more tightly with Rainbow’s own. “Does there even have to be a next time?”

“Yes.” I sighed. “What you two did here today only convinced me that ve were right to start training you. The amount of information you both picked up was staggering in both range and depth, and it takes an extremely well fed changeling to be able to emulate what you both stumbled onto with minor training. If ve can just figure out how to teach you both control… or maybe just teach you how to redirect your magic to a group of changelings to parse everything for you…”

Rainbow reached over to her other wing to preen a few feathers. The few she plucked were carefully inserted into Applejack’s mane before she turned back to me. “Whatever…. If it’s for Twilight, I’ll do it, but make sure you come up with something so that this doesn’t happen again.”

“Of course.” I bowed my head once more. “If I had known just how much difference there would be in the scale of what you two could collect, I would have done that sooner.”

“Rainbow?” Applejack stirred. “You there, hon?”

“I’m here AJ.” Rainbow leaned over to nuzzle her special somepony.

“Good. Do me a favor, then, and slap Morpheus like the varmint he is. The only pony allowed to make me feel anywhere near that good is you.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Do… Do you mean you…?”

“Not quite, sugarcube, but it was pretty darn close when that wave came back and knocked me nine ways to Sunday.”

“Mmrgmf…” Rainbow snerked, trying and failing to hold in her laughter. “I guess you— Ha! Ahahaha! I guess you could say that— Ahahahahahahahaha! I can’t even get the joke out! It’s too funny as it is! Celestia, I was so worried, AJ.” As the pegasus pulled her lover into an increasingly long, tongue-filled, kiss, everyling sans Hera and I decided it was high time to vacate the premises before the budding taste of leather overwhelmed the lemony concern in the air and progressed past the point of no return.

“Ahem.” I coughed politely.

They failed to break apart.

“Ahem!” I tried much louder this time.

They still failed to respond.

“Ahem!” Hera coughed with a deep thrumming buzz – finally netting the attention of the two lovebirds.

“Thank you for stopping in time.” I droned in a deadpan. “Now, since AJ’s finally conscious, I need to run one last check on her to make sure everything is all fine. If you’d please refrain jumping each other until then, I’d greatly appreciate it.”

“Killjoy.” Rainbow snorted, standing and shaking herself like a dog. “I guess you got a point, though. Want me to grab Zecora?”

“If you’d please.” I hovered over Applejack, poking and prodding her. “Ve should have fixed everything, but it’s not like ve’ve ever performed a procedure like this on a pony before. Another opinion would be nice.”

“Got it!” There was a sudden lack of Dash as she rocketed into the air.

“And come back to the farm when you find her!” I shook a hoof at the retreating Rainbow. “At least that way, you two will have a room when we’re done!”

Training the Troops (Morpheus) Part 3

Training the Troops (Morpheus) Part 2

The next few weeks were a blur of metaphorical hurricanes and earthquakes. Applejack was quickly given a clean bill of health from Zecora, and I gave her and Rainbow a few exercises to practice their control. In theory, they were easy techniques that I wouldn’t need to monitor. In practice, however, not even the simplest techniques proved to be without complications.

“Mo… are you sure there isn’t a way to turn this darn thing off? It just caused me to crash into the swimming pool… again….” A sopping wet Dash wobbled into my room rubbing the bridge of her snout.”

“Hmm?” I thrummed, looking up from my scroll. “Odd. By our count, that makes ten pools, two lakes, five fountains, and one impressively large pet aquarium full of turtles and remora. Ve’d normally advise that it is trying to get you to take a bath to get it to stop, but I have it on good authority that you shower daily.”

Rainbow’s hoof paused. “Do I want to know how you know that?”

I shrugged. “The Echo triplets told me.”

A cyan ear flicked. “And they learned that how?”

Standing, I rolled up my scroll, and moved to put it away. “Well, you sleep at Sweet Apple Acres more than you sleep at your own home. You should know how much time they’ve spent helping with chores on the farm since I started teaching you.”

Rainbow snorted. “Yeah. Yeah. We all can see how much they want to jump Big Mac. That still doesn’t tell me anything, though.”

“My apologies for that, by the way. Ve aren’t sure they’ve ever been rejected before.” I bowed my head momentarily. “Regardless, if you must know, they learned of your bathing habits when Big Mac had them clean the house. Apparently, the shower tastes incredibly filthy – far too filthy for it to not be shared daily. Perhaps that is why the wind wishes you to bathe? Their exact words were that it was—” I shifted my voice into the chittering chorus of the three harvesters “‘—like a blood-crusted, sweat-soaked, whip lashing places no whip ought to lash.’”

“Eww…” Rainbow turned green. “That just sounds horribly wrong.”

Smiling, I whopped her on her withers. “Nonsense! That’s just high quality lust for you, and it means you have a really healthy relationship with Applejack right now. Not counting Cadance and Shining Armor – because it’s just not fair to compete with the goddess of love – the last time ve tasted a relationship with such passion and devotion was almost half a century ago.”

“You said it tasted bloody, though.” Rainbow gagged.

“Of course it did!” I laughed. “Blood is rich in iron – making it one of the most primal forms of devotion. You and AJ would do anything for each other no matter what happens between you. You are family, and – even if you two somehow broke up – you will always remain so at heart.”

“In other words, we’re awesome.” Rainbow slugged me in the shoulder and gave a cocky grin. “You should tell Twilight about the blood thing, though. I would totally pay to see her face for that conversation.”

“We already had it when we discussed various emotional tastes.” I shrugged. “Wasn’t really all that amusing given how easy she can be to fluster. I mean, it was way too easy for it to be funny with her.” I bared my fangs in a grin. “You on the other hoof? Your reaction to this is perfect. Now that your initial disgust is gone, all that’s left is the nice rubbery taste of calamari.”

“I’m not flustered!” She stomped a hoof and flared her wings aggressively.

I chuckled. “You might be good at putting on a facade, Rainbow, but your emotions are always an open book – even more so than most ponies.”

“Whatever.” She huffed. “So do you have a way to turn the wind sense thingy off yet?”

“I already told you no.” I sighed. “Webber is trying to figure it out, but it’s bound to take at least another week. Look. I’m sorry it won’t turn off, but ve didn’t expect your initial connection to completely smash the subconscious barrier between you and the wind. Ve didn’t fully realize the implications of your pegasus magic being much more naturally automated than a changelings. I need to manually control my wind sense or it just fades.”

Rainbow poked me with a hoof. “Well, you better fix it fast – for Applejack if not for me. Every time she bucks a tree its life story passes in front of her eyes.”

“Guess that means the exercises are working for her then, if she isn’t mapping the whole orchard anymore.” I scrutinized my shelf for another scroll that might be pertinent to the situation. They were many and varied, but none of them spoke to me. None of them felt as if they held the answer, so I merely selected a favorite hoping it would help.

“How have they been helping you? There’s clearly still some issues, but are you finding things easier?” I returned to my desk and unfurled the scroll so I could read it – glancing up at Rainbow every few seconds so she’d know I was still paying attention.

“They’re so lame.” Rainbow slowly rolled the word off her tongue as if delaying the execution might change the fact.

Two could play at that game.

“I take it that’s a no?” I shifted the position of one eye such that it lazily rolled up to give Dash a penetrating stare while the other continued diligently reading the scroll. The rotting taste of cold, dead, horror crept through my veins. Not enough to elicit any fear, thankfully, but just enough to make my point.

“Urge…. You want me to say it, then fine….” Rainbow tossed her hooves in the air. “They aren’t doing anywhere near as much good for me as you said they should. They’re just so boring.”

I looked up and shrugged. “You had to do plenty of boring stuff to reach your current spot in the Wonderbolts reserves.”

“Hey! I made it to the Wonderbolts themselves, thank you!” Rainbow bristled, feather tips twitching.

“You transferred back to the reserves last ve checked.” I shrugged again. “Not that I can fault you for it. Ve saw the transfer request and wholeheartedly agree with you.”

“Do you have any concept of boundaries?” Rainbow arched her brow in a way that’d make Applejack proud.

“Of course.” I tilted my head to the side. She should know this by now. “I make it a point to keep other ponies secrets unless it becomes necessary to reveal them. Why? Are you worried the others will—”

“No, I’m not worried the others will feel guilty!” She snorted. “I’m just ticked you read my very personal letter to Spitfire.”

The sourness to her emotions claimed otherwise, but ve decided it was best to let it slide before I agitated her further. Time to stroke her ego, then.

“Well, regardless, try to think of the exercises as a means of flight training. The fact is, if you gain control of your wind sense, then you will be able to fly with a precision most pegasi only dream of. You’re already the fastest pegasus in Equestria, of course, but even you must admit there are quite a few Wonderbolts who have more finesse when flying. Imagine being the greatest pegasus Equis has ever seen, because that’s what’ll happen if you practice these diligently.”

“Alright. Alright. I get it.” Rainbow waved dismissively. “By the way, how are you hiding what we’re doing from Twilight? Even she’s not oblivious enough to miss that something's been going on with me and AJ.”

“Simple.” I tsked. “I just told her exactly what I was doing sans the part where I’m doing it to protect her. She thinks it’s a fascinating experiment, and is eagerly awaiting us to refine the teaching process enough so that she won’t map all of Equis with an accidental misstep.”

“Oh, Twi….” Rainbow sighed. “Never change.”

Turning, she headed for the door, only to pause and look back. “Whatcha reading anyways?”

Ve debated giving a misleading answer before deciding that Rainbow was most likely mature enough to not laugh at us.

“It’s one of the friendship reports you girls wrote. Webber was nice enough to smuggle my collection out of the hive, and I find it sometimes helps me think to go through them.”

There was a snerk. Of course there was a snerk. What possessed us to think that Rainbow could be mature for even a moment?

“Nerd!” With that parting remark, Rainbow giggled her way out of the room.

“For somepony who may or may not have a certain limited-edition Daring Do children’s card game locked in a secret box under bed, you’re one to talk!” I shouted out the door knowing my voice would easily echo through the hall.

“You mean the one Tank bought with some bits he conveniently picked up off the ground?! Totally his! It’s got his name on the receipt and everything!”

I snorted. “And I’m sure you play it with him just so he gets a chance to use it!” Crafting a small breeze, I sent it chasing after her to silently remind her to keep practicing until I met her for next week’s training session.

“Alright, then!” I bared my fangs in a grin as I felt a wave of tremor sense pass peacefully beneath me. “It seems you’re both getting better with control!” I noticed Rainbows wings twitch, but said nothing when the rest of her failed to follow suit. She was trying, and that was really all I could ask for at this point. “Webber isn’t quite done with the custom filter yet, though, so today will be more combat training, and this time I want to see if you can use your respective senses despite the fact you lack full control.”

Hera rolled her shoulders as she lumbered forward. Rainbow was bouncing from hoof to hoof, ready to jump into the fray, but I gestured to Applejack to step forth. Stretching, the farmer cracked her back several times before stepping up without complaint.

“You sure about this, sugarcube? Ah don’t want a repeat of last time we did this.”

“As sure as ve can be.” I shrugged. “Ve’re about eighty percent sure you’ve gained enough control to actually manage a fight. Sure, you’ll be at a disadvantage without the filter, but it’ll be good practice for you. Changelings aren’t the type to fight fair anyways, and I doubt you’ll always be able to use the filter even after it’s done. Any foe worth their salt is going to try and dispel any spells on you the first chance they get.”

“We ain’t unicorns, hon.” Applejack rolled her eyes.

“A unicorn can still cast a spell on you, though,” I tsked, “and it’s better to be safe than sorry. That’s why I always dispel my foes – whoever they are. It’s the same reason you should practice without the filter now rather than waiting until it’s suddenly gone.”

“Well, alright then.” Applejack hacked an enormous glob of spit a good two meters into the creek beside us. “Don’t say Ah didn’t warn y’all, though. Ah’ve been taking notes.” Rearing up, she slammed her forehooves into the ground, and I felt a massive pulse burst forth.

“What are you doing?!” I quickly flew into the air and signaled for everyling to do the same.

“Well, fancy mathematics ain’t really mah thing—” Applejack jumped as the pulse came back, and it passed beneath her to surge out into the distance once more “—but Ah think y’all’d call this ‘controlling variables’ or something like that. Y’all can’t really touch the ground while that tremor thing is moving in and out, or y’all’ll just get overwhelmed like last time, so all ah gotta do is play jump rope until Ah make you touch it.”

She hopped again as the pulse returned for the second time, twisting to pull a lasso from under her stetson, and quickly fixing it into her tail. “Just like hogtieing a bull, really.” Just as she fixed the lasso in, she jumped a third time and wound it up before slinging it at Hera.

All of us had just been staring – stupefied – at the display, yet Hera managed to buzz into action before the rope slipped around her. Under. Over. Under. Over. She barely managed to dodge the constraint each time as Applejack whipped the lasso forth every couple of pulses. With each miss, she’d spend time regaining the rope’s momentum as she ran and dodged around Hera’s charging swoops. The shrill shriek of Hera’s wings filled the air each time she made a pass, yet Applejack stubbornly refused to fall for the same trick twice.

Finally, Applejack seemed to give up on the lasso, charging Hera head on with a cry. Hera obliged her, but just as they were about to meet, Applejack jumped over and onto Hera, using her as a platform to jump a second time – driving a disoriented Hera into the ground and buying enough air time to miss the return of the pulse.

Poor Hera went all but comatose from the the full flood of information, while Applejack landed onto the now safe ground to go pin the hapless, glassy-eyed, warrior. Everyling stared as Rainbow cheered from a nearby cloud.

With a final ponderous blink, the absurdity of what I’d just witnessed sank in, and I couldn’t help but cackle. “And Mother sent mere conscripts after you at the wedding. You’re already starting to beat Hera’s lifetime of training after just a few weeks, and Mother thought conscripts would be enough? Ve’re curious to know how many you took out before you were captured now.”

The pair of ponies shrugged. “We both messed up each other’s count somewhere in the high four hundreds.”

“Nearly five hundred each: potentially more.” I was gasping for breath as I chittered madly. “Did we ever truly stand a chance? Even if we had stopped Shining and Cadance? Oh, it pains us to think about it, but I can’t stop laughing.”

“Well, shucks.” Applejack kicked the ground. “It ain’t no big deal, really. Ah just took initiative and turned the tables on y’all like ya did when we first started. Ah doubt that trick’ll work twice.”

“Flukes count, Applejack.” Hera blinked first one haw than the other before getting back on her hooves. “If this had been an actual fight rather than just practice, I’d probably be dead right now, so don’t underestimate what a cheap trick and some mind games can accomplish.”

The warrior turned a stony-eyed gaze on her opponent. “That said, ve have finished analyzing your strategy and have determined a critical weakness. Would you care for a rematch?”

Applejack took a hesitant step back as Hera bared her fangs in a lifeless grin. Muscles rippled, causing a series of clicks and clacks as several plates hissed into a new alignment, and the hulking changeling soon towered even more above the farmer as synthesized chemicals far more potent than mere adrenaline began to course through her veins. Most would look upon her and assume she carried the intent to kill, but I knew Hera to be more disciplined than that.

“Woot! Go Applejack!”

I glanced at Rainbow as she cheered Applejack on from a nearby cloud. Ve wondered if she actually saw the truth behind Hera’s facade or if she just relished that Applejack was about to face a far greater challenge. Surely, she wasn’t oblivious to the tension below us…. Still, Applejack was easing back into position from her marefriend’s carefree support.

A few moments of calculated silence passed before they started circling each other at some unseen signal. Still, each was too cautious to take the initiative, and so they stalked each other – well, Hera stalked Applejack – looking for weaknesses.

“Aw, to tartarus with it!” Applejack reared up and slammed her hooves into the ground once more. An enormous pulse of tremor sense rocketed forth – causing Hera to take to the air – and the farmer pulled her lasso forth once more, jumping over the pulse as it came back.

For a brief time, the match carried on like before. Hera dodged the lasso and made a few charges whenever it missed. This time, however, ve noted that the movements to her charges were measured. Hera always came in from an angle that would herd Applejack closer to the edge of the clearing, away from the center of the pulse. After reaching the edge, she kept her distance, forcing Applejack to throw the lasso farther and farther each time.

Then, one of the lasso tosses hit home.

I saw Hera fly straight into it in a way that must have been preplanned. Her momentum carried her forward and upward such that she was straight above Applejack just as the farmer landed from her jump, and, with a quick burst of speed, Hera tried to yank Applejack off of the ground.

From most angles, such a tactic would be unthinkable. Applejack would merely dig her hooves backward and pull harder than Hera could ever have a chance of overcoming. From straight overhead, however, the rope was orthogonal with the ground, and Applejack couldn’t resist Hera’s pull with any horizontal force from the infamous Bucky McGillicuddy and Kicks McGee. Such an advantage would last only a brief moment – until Applejack moved enough to get some ground between her and Hera – but it would be enough to pull her into the air.

Of course, the obvious answer to Hera’s tactic would be to let go of the rope and regroup, but that was most likely what Hera was after.

Applejack had forced herself into the unfavorable position of out counting a changeling. She was forced to keep in rhythm with the pulse oscillating beneath her, and the sudden, disorienting, upwards yank would throw off all of the hard work Applejack was putting into keeping track of her tremor’s return trips.

Combine this with the added distance Hera had herded Applejack from the center of the blast, and even a changeling would certainly lose track of when exactly they had to leave the ground.

Thus – although Applejack did indeed keep enough wits about her to release her tail’s grip on the lasso – she found herself collapsing as she rolled to her feet and pulled another lasso out. The pulse came back sooner than she expected, allowing a single, panicked, whiny to escape her throat before she was caught in her own trap.

This time, it was Hera who landed to pin her hapless opponent. I was just about to applaud her when I heard the ruffling of nearby wings. A quick glance to Rainbow, Dash saw her muscles tensing as she fought not to rush to her marefriend’s aid, and – deciding speedy action to be the better option – I dropped from the air to begin sorting data for Applejack.

“Excellent work, Hera,” I hissed softly as I passed her, “but did it occur to you to simply distance yourself until she miscounted?”

“Of course, My Lord.” Hera thrummed in quiet appreciation. “Ve deemed it a better risk to take a controlled hit, however. Had she managed to catch me in an unfavorable position before the miscount occurred, the best ve could have managed would have been forcing a draw.”

“At ease, Hera.” I chuckled under my breath as I bent towards Applejack. “You hardly need to defend yourself to me.”

This time, the data was mixed and muddied from all the repeat passes. There were several duplicates of some data, while other pieces of info merged into an untranslatable mess. Still, ve did manage to parse everything faster this time around. It helped that we were roughly in the same spot as before, but the real clincher was from Hera bending down to lend help. Progress went from fast to ludicrous as the data parted like water for her.

As we finished, I leaned back to scrutinize her. “What was that?”

“Training, My Lord.” Hera rumbled, stoic as ever.

“Don’t you go trying to pull the silent guard act on me, Hera.” I tsked.

She hesitated. “Ve may have spent more time than necessary to plot out the tactics Applejack was likely to use in a sparring match. Weaponized tremors were on that list, and it was a simple matter to practice parsing the first wave of info we got over and over to the point where ve could do so almost blindfolded. Unfortunately, ve were banking on that fact to win us the match the first time, but underestimated the extent to which her tremor would be warped from multiple passes.”

She bowed her head briefly, giving off a single mournful chirp. “It shames me to admit that I adopted such a cheap ploy – especially when it was bound to fail in all but the most conditional of circumstances.”

“Now wait jush a darn shecond….” Applejack slurred as she stirred. “Are ya telling me ya cheated and still lost?”

“Ve simply prepared for an enemy I knew I’d be facing ahead of time.” Hera tsked. “Calling it cheating assumes it’s against the rules of the game. Did we ever establish those? No. For the most part, all the ‘rules’ we are following are just implied guidelines. For example, I could technically win far more easily if I just elected to kill you. It was never stated that non lethal means must be employed. But that would defeat the purpose of this being a learning exercise, so I force myself to avoid certain tactics.”

“An important lesson for you both, Applejack and Rainbow.” I thrummed, looking pointedly at Hera. “Though, I must admit there was a certain lack of tact in the delivery. Now, shall we proceed to the next match? Ve believe it may be time to introduce Spi into the mix.”

“Aw, yeah!” Rainbow leapt from the ground to do a quick loop. “Just you watch, AJ. This is how you fight a changeling!”

“Dead.” Spi was pressing his blade-like foreleg into Rainbow’s throat when I arrived. That was thirteen loses in a row, and Rainbow still seemed raring to go. “Are you ready to give up yet? The wind clearly favors me this day.”

Oh. Low blow, Spi. That was such an ancient turn of phrase that ve doubted Rainbow even had the slightest inkling of how much she was just savaged.

“Never!” Rainbow squirmed in defiance, almost managing to free a limb from the sticky web ensnaring her before it schlorped back into place. “Argh! What is this even made of, and how do you keep finding time to make these?”

Spi buzzed back a little so he could start cutting the strands at the edge of the web. “Well, your first mistake is assuming you’re always on my tail. I just need to run long enough for an opportunity to get away to present itself. At that point, I slip a phantasm into your mind to keep you busy, which leaves me free to construct my traps from the various debris littering the ground.”

“Uh, dude? This ain’t exactly sticks and— Oh! Ewww! It tastes like muddy snot!” Rainbow spat out a glob of web that trickled into her mouth.

“Yes, that would be the debris.” Spi clicked disapprovingly as one particular strand stretched slightly before giving way to his claw. “Ghastly stuff, but I ran out of standard webbing somewhere in the middle of round three and had to start improvising.”

Grabbing a clump of dirt and several sticks and leaves, he began demonstrating the creation process. “I just take some organic material and some form of minerals, consume it—” he did so and Rainbow gagged “—and process it into the material I need.”

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” Rainbow’s squirming had become much more frantic.

“Be glad it tastes better on the way back up than on the way down.” Spi shrugged. “Believe me. I know how you feel. I have no idea how drones manage to do it for a living – even with their altered taste buds. Some just keep eating and regurgitating for hours at a time.”

He shivered. “It’s madness I tell you.”

I tsked, causing them both to jump. “Are you still— Really, Spi? I’ve been here for awhile.” I rolled my eyes. “Regardless, are you still sore about when you went deep cover as a drone? It can’t possibly have been worse than your cover as Mean Norm. I mean, Mean Norm was stuck behind a desk doing nothing but tax reports all day, every day. Antoinette got to sneakily synthesize explosive compounds into her work.”

“You can regurgitate explosives….” Rainbow mumbled – face green – as her stomach continued to gurgle. “That would be awesome if it weren’t so disgusting….”

“We can only make relatively weak ones,” I shrugged, “but they’re enough for basic sabotage.”

I had had to discreetly get rid of some siege creatures a while back from this one lord who was just as determined as Mother to start a war – not that Rainbow needed to know that. A little explosive carapace cement went a long way towards convincing House Scorpio that experimentally breeding and maintaining war beasts was an infeasible action. Thanks to Spi’s hard work, they never even suspected that it was the carapace cement – and not the living weapons – that was unstable.

“There wasn’t even a proper explosion, just a bunch of little, almost imperceptible, ones that caused more cracks in the chitin….” Spi gave a whistling whine. “If I’d gone with anything bigger, they might have started looking into bug bombs again, and I spent ages as an analyst falsifying the results of those abominations.”

“It was only a few weeks.” I chided.

“A few weeks of taking shelter in a lead lined refrigerator to avoid detection while I regularly snuck out to neutralize thirty hive forsaken tests!” Spi’s echo fractured. “Thirty! You’d think those little bug brains would learn after the first few duds, but no! They wanted to keep on going and get the full statistically significant sample size! Talk about the most nerve-wracking assignment ever!”

I bared my fangs in a grin. “Is that including the time I sent you into Mother’s personal dungeon?”

“I was just a nymph! That one doesn’t count!”

“It does too count! That little stunt earned you your Chrysaling.” I cackled as Spi flushed emerald. “Oh, the look on Mother’s face when she brought me down for interrogation lessons and found you…. It totally made up for the fact that she gave me a week at quarter-rations for making you feed the prisoners.”

“I got quarter-rations too, you know.” Spi pouted, tears gathering at the corner of his eyes, and I wondered if I’d gone too far. It was so hard to tell when he still refused to share his emotions.

“It’s just awesome that I’m dangling here and trying to figure out what the hay you two are talking about,” Rainbow’s rasp just dripped with sarcasm, “but – if you don’t mind – I’d much rather be flying on my two wings right now.”

Horseapples and bugbits. How much confidential info did I just accidentally spill to have a normal conversation with Spi? I didn’t mention the war beasts aloud, and Spi only mentioned their chitin, but he did mention the bug bombs. By the First Father, the bug bombs. If Twilight got wind of how deadly those would have actually been…

No. I was safe on that front. All Rainbow heard was that the tests took place in a mock town, and that I’d made sure they were all duds. She had no way of knowing the magnitude calculated for a successful blast nor did she seem interested in her currently sticky state. All we had to do was avoid the subject and she’d probably forget it.

“He’s got that look Twilight gets when she’s about to have a panic attack.” Rainbow tilted her head as Spi went back to cutting her down.

“Don’t worry.” Spi tsked – the tears from a moment ago suspiciously gone. “My Lord just realized the horrible dangers that come with teasing me about my work in front of you. In fact, there are many horrible things that are liable to happen if certain projects I’ve been a part of came to light. You know how Daring Do writes her work as fiction to avoid ponies abusing the artifacts she finds?”

“Yeah?” Rainbow licked her lips.

“Well…” Spi echo fractured into a quiet, omnipresent, hiss that skittered down my ear tubes, “...I also like to make sure my work isn’t noticed. There are quite a few lords who would kill for snippets of what you just heard – and I don’t just mean they’d kill you, you little daredevil. They’ll kill your friends if they learn you know something, because that’s the easiest way to make you talk, capiche?

Rainbow gulped. “Alright then…. I’m just gonna pull a Rarity and say we never speak of this again.”

I found myself slumping in relief at her words. Problem averted.

“There’s a good girl.” There was one last snip as Spi cut through the web, and Rainbow plummeted to ground with an indignant yelp.

Sitting up on her haunches with a groan, the pegasus spread her wings to examine them. “Eww! It’s all over my wings! This is gonna take forever to clean, and the taste is gonna be in my mouth the whole time…. There’s no way I can let anypony else preen this either now that I know where it’s been….”

She tentatively stretched her tongue out. “Blech! Yeah, no. I’m not doing this now. Shower first. Preen later. Where’s Applejack?”

“She’s with Lyra, learning about all the super secret ways the Everfree Hive has to fool her tremor sense.” I sighed. “It’s something which she absolutely refuses to share with me.”

“For good reason.” Spi began to hack up a dissolving compound on the web.

“I know it’s for a good reason!” I tsked. “It’s still annoying that she doesn’t trust at least me with it.”

“You know very well that she trusts you with it, sir.” And here we were, fully back to business like usual. “It’s me and the others she doesn’t fully trust, and she knows you’ll teach us if she teaches you.”

“Semantics!” I scoffed in Chitri.

“There is nothing sweeter than the subtle victory of semantics.” Spi responded in kind. “Neither love nor joy nor happiness compares to the euphoria of a foe failing to see just how deeply they’ve stumbled into your web.”

“I still think you sound like chipmunks when you do that.” Rainbow grumbled, trying and failing not to stick to the ground.

“Spi, you did use the compound that makes your webs sweat soluble, right?”

“I had to stop that around round seven because she was so sweat-soaked that the traps weren’t working.”

“How did she even stay flight capable this long, then?”

“I don’t know, sir. Whenever I asked, she just claimed it was through a mix of twenty percent coolness, ten percent radicalness, and seventy percent awesomeness.”

“And Mother sent the conscripts after her?”

Night of the Living Changelings (Twilight) Part 1

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Night of the Living Changelings (Twilight) Part 2

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Night of the Living Changelings (Twilight) Part 3

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Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer (Twilight) Part 1

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Keep Your Friends Close and your Enemies Closer (Twilight) Part 2

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Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer (Twilight) Part 3

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Awakening (Morpheus) Part 1

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Awakening (Morpheus) Part 2

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Awakening (Morpheus) Part 3

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Awakening (Morpheus) Part 4

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Home and Hearth (Twilight) Part 1

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Home and Hearth (Twilight) Part 2

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Home and Hearth (Twilight) Part 3

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Home and Hearth (Twilight) Part 4

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Start of Negotiations (Twilight) Part 1

Start of Negotiations (Twilight) - Revised V2 Part 1

Changing Times’s Notes: First and foremost, this story is not mine to tell. That is why it is kept as a number of self-reports given directly from the Prince and Princess. They are the ones telling you, not me. I shall, however, be leaving notes at the beginnings of each chapter if necessary. I was somewhat wary of the concept when the Princess suggested it, but there are important things that need to be said that the reports themselves may not be able to express.

Second, and just as important, I feel the need to emphasize that my largest priority with these essays is not to make a historical account. There are already several historians in various universities evaluating the events that led to our peace with changelings far more objectively and concisely than I ever could.

I am aware the public is still somewhat wary of changelings. I was at the final trials of the changeling hunts in Stablem, and I was there when the Manehatten Riots broke out. Both occasions cost me friends – pony and changeling alike – but that’s why I need to share these reports. It’s so easy to focus on the bad that we all tend to lose track of the good, and I have met a lot of good changelings.

So where should I begin? Princess Twilight suggested I add my own personal notes, but I have no idea how I can possibly express my thoughts on what has been years gathering these ‘friendship reports’ without writing another book. Honestly, the concept of a friendship report still sounds a little sappy to me, but I have grown as a pony as I’ve come to know Twilight and Morpheus. I have come to be their friends – odd as it may seem – so I suppose the term is as fitting as any.

I have come to relish the many tangents of Twilight Sparkle and enjoy the many quirks of young Morpheus. They have led me on a personal journey through their lives so that I could share that journey with you, and I am humbled they think me worthy to do so.

Start of Negotiations: A Report by Twilight Sparkle

I suppose I should begin with the day the negotiations started. Most ponies would assume that diplomatic visits normally have a large amount of pomp and ceremony that go into setting them up. This is true in most cases. Some nations do it for the sake of pride in their traditions with parades and feasts and all manner of events. They put so much into their hospitality that they fail to actually get anything done at the meetings.

Some nations are more practical in their set up and host nothing but conferences. Such meetings end up as nothing but chains of stress-fuelled arguments in the long run – again, bogging down any progress as relations decay.

Equestria fell somewhere in the middle of this spectrum, but not for the reasons most other nations chose to do so. One of the perks of having an essentially immortal ruler is the wealth of wisdom said ruler gains over time. Other nations would choose to be in the middle of this spectrum of diplomatic hospitality versus diplomatic meetings in an attempt to appease nations who took to the extremes of each end of the spectrum.

The royal sisters – and through their lessons on ruling, myself – use the balance as a calculated attempt to keep negotiations in our favor. We meticulously schedule events and meetings, knowing when and where tensions will start to erupt and how long particular envoys need to cool down to approach a topic again. Social events are planned so that they are not overly demanding of our attentional resources, allowing us to mentally plan our next move in negotiations while the other envoys relax.

Sometimes we even extend the opening gala that inevitably occurs at each visit and use that time to casually bring up a topic that would have otherwise have an envoy foaming at the mouth. It’s quite astounding what the change in context from official proposition to casual comment will do to get them to at least consider some ideas, and the longer the gala runs on, the more an idea will worm its way into their head.

There’s more to it, but I believe I’ve made my point. I was used to a significant amount of warning on visiting diplomats. Granted, back then I was only given easy negotiations since I was still learning, but that only made it more important for me to have some warning.

Morpheus did not give me the slightest warning that he was coming for peace negotiations. It is somewhat understandable in hindsight, and I’ve had a lot of time over the years to think about just why he approached me as he did, but that doesn’t excuse the complete lack of warning.

That said, it was a calculated risk on his part. Without protocol to protect him, I could have easily just stomped him into the dirt under any number of pretenses. The fact that it was Morpheus and Morpheus alone who came to parley only compounded the fact that he was desperate, and that’s what he needed. I didn’t trust him at the time; I couldn’t trust him at the time. His only hope was to play into Equestria’s compassion and hope I would give him a chance.

Necessity or not, that did not change the fact that his unannounced visit was the cause of a very tiring day for me, nor that such an unexpected visit would irk me to no end as my schedule slowly unraveled. The fact that I was rudely awoken at dawn was only the tip of the iceberg.

The first and only warning I needed that today was going to be a bad day was blearily opening my eyes to find myself staring into a different pair of red and gold ones. I could do nothing but sigh internally and pretend to go back to sleep. I was not in the mood to deal with any kind of draconequi that day. Granted, there was only one draconequus left on Equis, but from what I’d heard the rest of his kind were as infuriating, if not more so, than the individual looming over me.

“Oh, Princess, time to get up…” Discord’s voice was, as ever, somewhere between charming and grating.

From a technical standpoint, it was very nice to the ears. I really shouldn’t have labeled it annoying. That being said, all it takes is less than five minutes of exposure to his personality to realize just why his voice tends to spike a pony’s blood pressure.

“Twilight…” I could hear the hint of annoyance in his voice this time. “Please get up. I don’t have time for your games right now, and Celestia’s given me a load of work heavier than that flaming ball of cake-fuelled indigestion she has floating around the planet. I’m stuck coming to you in my limited off time – trying to do something nice for somepony on my own for once – so please just get up.”

It was a trick. It had to be. Everything was tricks and pranks with Discord – even his work – and I was not in the mood to get up from bed to be instantly pranked. If he was going to mess with me, I was at least going to enjoy a little bit of satisfaction in denying him for as long as I could. Thus, I did the only logical thing to do and buried my head under my pillow on the off chance it would make him magically disappear.

I heard him sigh dramatically. “Alright, little Miss Know-it-all, just remember that you could have avoided this.”

There was the insidious thunderclap of cracking knuckles, and hiding beneath the pillows suddenly seemed like a much less logical decision. There may have also been lightning to go with it, knowing Discord, but I couldn’t be sure. It could have been the brilliant flash of maroon flavored alfalfa for all I knew.

“Shoo.”

I heard his fingers snap and felt a distinct lack of my wings or horn. Whereas before I had been annoyed, now I was livid. I started to round on Discord to give him a piece of my mind when I heard the second snap.

“Bee.”

I pulled in a breath, but – instead of gathering fuel for a long and arduous tirade – I found myself choking on the air as if it were thin soup. My lungs felt strangely empty. As I spied my new seahorse-like tail and felt something suspiciously like gills on my neck, I understood. I glared at Discord, and he grinned like a madman with fine taste in tea and hats.

“Doo.”

It was at this point a veritable ocean decided to deluge itself upon me. Hard and fast, the water essentially pinned me to the bed. I couldn’t move to intercept Discord, so I decided with a mental sigh to simply wait things out. I should have known provoking Discord would make him do something like this. It’s always easier to just go along with what he wants. After all, he’s mostly harmless nowadays.

Laying beneath the deluge, I began to plan for potential consequences. Later that day, Celestia would no doubt send me a report detailing how a giant spigot and drain suddenly appeared off the edges of Bostang – or some other port city – and began cycling water from the harbor. I would, in turn, report that it was just Discord being Discord and we had nothing to worry about. It was almost routine by now.

Not that Celestia was really worried. The reports were simply one of the ways the Princess was getting me to practice handling whatever complaints the various nobles, pressponies, or just plain whack jobs were going to start sending my way eventually. They were also an excellent excuse for us to catch up.

Eventually, the deluge stopped, and I was able to take stock of my surroundings again.

The draconequus had at least been considerate enough to leave my belongings dry, although my bed was damp from the water I was shedding on it. My dresser and vanity were fine, although the mirror appeared to have a light coating of mist. The pillows and rugs in front of the fireplace appeared just as cozy as ever. And the books – must not forget those – were all in perfectly pristine condition, ordered first by subject and then by author alphabetically with a special shelf specifically reserved for my favorites.

Discord just floated there with that smug smile of his. His serpentine body coiled about the air above me, idling back as if resting in one of Rarity’s many fainting couches. “Ready, Your Highness?”

“You do know most ponies would have used a bucket of water, right?” I glowered at him – mimicking what the nobles fearfully called Celestia’s ‘To the Moon’ voice. Celestia actually referred to it as her ‘To the Sun’ voice in my lessons, because sending Luna to the moon was painful for Celestia – it was something she never wanted to do. Sending the recipients of this voice to the sun, should the princess decide to do so for once, would only be painful for them.

Not that she ever did so. The tone alone had always sufficed for the princess’ purposes. On the few occasions I’d seen it used, the room would rumble as if the earth was about to crumble beneath me, and my bones would ache from the strength of the vibrations.

Thus, it was somewhat surprising to me when Discord merely chuckled at my comment. “Oh, that’s so sweet. Maybe one day you’ll even sound as grim as your oh-so-sunny teacher.” He winked, slinking through the air around me like a serpent constricting its prey. “Until then, try to keep in mind who she perfected that little trick on. Now, are you coming? If not, I have several more arguments that I’m sure you’ll find very persuasive.”

It was tempting – it really was – but, in the end, logic won, and I relented with an exasperated sigh. “Fine, but this had better be good. Can you fill me in on the way, or are you going to be nothing but an enigmatic plothole?”

Discord laughed and flew to the door, opening it for me. “I thought Celestia was the enigmatic one.”

I shook my head trotting down the hall. “No, she’s the cryptic one.”

It was a quiet snicker, but it was a snicker, and, if there’s one thing you learn with Discord, it’s that it’s the quiet laughter you need to worry about.

The draconequus’ next statement only added another piece of evidence to this hypothesis. “So you’re saying Celestia is a cryptic plothole?”

My glare was cold enough that I could have functioned as the Matterhorn again, and he promptly let it drop.

“Got it. Celestia’s just cryptic,” he grumbled.

At least that’s what I thought at first.

“Luna must be the plothole.” His grumble turned into a grin.

I sighed, letting him get it out of his system.

“And only together are they a pair of cryptic plotholes.” A snap of his talons summoned a list of all my friends and family. “What does that make Cadence, though? Is she—”

I was not going to let him finish that statement. My mind was already filled with all sorts of horridly gross images of what he could say about the alicorn of love, and I was sure he would say something at least ten times worse than anything I could come up with.

“If you continue that much further, you might find yourself unable to talk. I may not be able to completely petrify you, but I’m sure I could convince Fluttershy to at least let me turn your vocal chords to stone.” My voice was quite guttural. It was almost a low growl really.

“Alright… Alright…” Discord whined as he filled the list with some chicken scratches from an actual chicken. “Geez… It’s no wonder you’re the anal retentive one, Twilight. Your ancestors certainly ended up retaining Luna’s temper down the family tree, and as we’ve already established she is a plothole.”

Words could not express the depth of my frustration at this. Even if they could, I’m fairly certain I’d need to redact them. I think the draconequus finally realized, however, how close he was to crossing the line, though, because he actually started to tell me why I was so rudely woken up.

“Enough chit-chat though, my dear. There’s business to attend to!” Discord clapped his paw and talon together, grinning. “You see, I was recently approached by a foreign dignitary who wanted a meeting with one of the princesses. Now, normally I just ignore politics, but he was very insistent that the normal means wouldn’t work for him and that only I could provide the meeting he sought. And you know how much I love bending, if not breaking, the rules, so I thought, ‘No harm in helping a foreign nation peacefully negotiate with Equestria,’ and brought him here.”

I fought the urge to face hoof. Of course, all it would take is a little preening of the draconequus’ enormous ego to get him to do something like this.

He continued on, either blithely unaware of my irritation at his flagrant shattering of protocol or hiding his amusement much more skilfully than usual. “I left him waiting in the study to go get you.”

I massaged my temple with my hoof as we continued along. Walking with three legs was a little awkward, but the relief from the slowly building headache a pony can only get from Discord was well worth it.

“And did you think to run a background check and see if this ‘dignitary’, happened to be who he claimed to be? Did you check that he wasn’t an assassin, or that he wasn’t going to run off and pilfer the castle when you brought him here? Did you do anything to make sure this won’t blow up in our faces? Because that’s why all those protocols you hate are in place.”

He gave a nonchalant wave of his paw, brushing my worries off like they were nothing. “Relax, Princess; I got things handled. I magically locked every cabinet, door, chest, and orifice that could even remotely hold some precious state secret. I replaced all the documents in the room with a random collection of foals’ drawings Tia keeps stored in the castle attic, and – by our guest’s request I might add – I placed a giant anti-magic bubble in the room to make sure no foul play could happen.”

I arched an eyebrow at the slippery serpent beside me. “He was the one that suggested an anti-magic bubble? I mean, it’s a nice gesture of good faith, but it seems a little extreme.”

We had arrived at the door to the study, or rather the door to my official study. Friendship Castle had, ironically enough, decided to give me a vast and lonely place to call home. There were multiples of almost every room, enough sleeping quarters to rival Canterlot Castle’s bustling community, and even training barracks for the guard. Despite all this, it was currently only inhabited by Spike and I. There was simply no need for a castle this size in a small town like Ponyville.

Discord chuckled softly as he opened the door. That immediately set off even more warning bells in my head, but he was already pushing me through the door. I tried to squirm my way out of his grasp, but it was too late. I felt the anti-magic field clamping down, and that made me next to powerless to escape.

“Oh, it’s for him as much as it is for you,” the draconequus said, “He said something about not wanting to be attacked on sight. Don’t worry, though. I’ll be here the whole time. If he’s actually a threat, he’ll find himself dumped right in the middle of the guards’ training barracks in Canterlot faster than Tia orders cake for dessert every night. Isn’t that right, little princeling?”

His last statement was not addressed to me, but to the room we had entered.

Every Action Has an Equal and Opposite Reaction (Twilight) Part 1

The Elements of Surprise (Morpheus) Part 4

Ve walked through the market listening to the rumors.

“Right in the middle of the marketplace…” The shopkeeper’s tone was subdued.

A subdued voice could mean he was calm or concerned or even frightened.

“Can’t believe they used that language with foals around…” A mother’s voice carried from across the street.

More amplitude meant more energy. She could be angry. Ve could see her being angry.

“I thought they were the Elements of Harmony – not the Elements of Disharmony.” Snickers accompanied the stallion’s compliment.

Ve paused a second, trying to parse the meaning behind the words. On some level ve knew it was a simple joke – perhaps an insult – but ve couldn’t understand why it was one of those things.

Ve wanted to snort in frustration.

I liked to snort in frustration.

The hive forsaken filter was making it difficult, and every attempt to lower it brought on waves of panic over what had happened.

Ve knew emotional suppression wasn’t fun. Fun is defined as something that provides mirth or amusement – both of which are emotions. In the same vein, emotional suppression shouldn’t be infuriating.

It may as well have been as far as ve were concerned.

The Archives provided most of the context ve needed to identify other ponies emotions. Ve had access to potentially eons worth of changeling lives and memories. Ve had seen every smile. Ve had heard every tone. Ve had smelled every smell – whether ponies knew they made them or not.

There was little to no physical mannerism ve hadn’t experience over the years, and ve could see all the signs without our emotions clogging us down.

But without being able to taste the emotions in the air ve couldn’t be sure. There was a larger chance for error, and ve couldn’t afford errors if ve had done what ve think ve might have done.

Ve knew I would have found that snare in progress infuriating – if I could feel anything for more than an instant.

That’s why ve wanted to snort, and stamp, and scream, and yell. All of those are perfectly sensible reactions to expect from a mad pony.

Ve weren’t angry though. Ve only knew I would feel angry, and the disguise known as Snow Flurry wouldn’t.

Thus ve continued along with a slightly downcast head. A small sigh would periodically escape our lips, and ve faked the smallest of limps. Every so often ve stopped at one of the stands to pick up the groceries Twilight wanted. Illusory wings opened equally illusory saddle bags, and ve would place our purchase within one of our corbiculae. It was a simple chore, but ve were finally getting a chance to just walk and wander.

Ve didn’t know the market layout. The admittedly outdated scout reports claimed it was first come first serve, so there was a chance it was different every day.

Unfortunately, ve couldn’t enjoy it like ve had wanted to earlier.

Ve stopped at another vendor and purchased another item.

And ve risked lowering the filter again.

The flood of sensations defies accurate description. Walking from deepest darkness into the light of day feels blinding. Emerging from the purest silence into an average crowd will leave ears ringing. Capturing the simple smell of baking bread after living without scent will burn the nose.

Shedding a pure emotional filter brings all of these sensations and more.

The thousands of subtler variances in emotions ve had grown used to ignoring over the years suddenly stand out as bright as day. Everypony felt many of the same emotions with the slightest of differences.

And all those differences screamed, shined, burned, and eroded at me in different ways – struggling to be understood.

Then there was the delayed reaction of our own emotions.

Spicy anger, icy dread, curdling fear, and sharp insecurity – like eating glass or the shattered remains of a mirror – rose within me. It saturated the air around me, and I felt the beginning of a feedback loop.

Thus I raised the filter again.

Ve left it impure this time. The tiniest bit of emotion leaked through, and ve found our sigh was of true relief rather than a simple façade.

It was too much to handle all at once, but small increments could be taken to adjust to the flood of sensation.

Ve lowered the filter a little more with every stop.

And I raised it when I was overwhelmed again.

It was near sunset when I felt well enough to head back to castle. I hadn’t made it to Carousel Boutique, but I needed to get ready for when Twilight got back.

As ve left the market place, ve passed Applejack’s now empty stand. I could feel something was off, but it wasn’t until I lowered the filter one last time that I understood what it was.

The ambient joy from Pinkie was still so thick it could be cut like cake, and her tag – which had been spun with a rare variant of joy ve had once heard as the tinkling of tiny bells – trailed off into the distance.

But there was a jagged hole near the now faint scorch marks on the ground. Not even the fabric-like taste of complacency – the most persistent if dull ambient emotion – was present. Whatever emotion had been there had been ripped out in my hasty attempt to gather that love for the energy I needed to escape without revealing myself.

That was not a good sign.

Sometimes there is no choice but to forcibly take a nibble of love that is not being willingly given, but – like a mosquito drinking blood – damage can be mitigated by forcing the wound to clot. A bite taken in desperation might agitate a relationship. It might make it itch or scratch, and there might be a brief fight, but it should mend over relatively quickly with few side effects.

There may be some backwash from a previous meal, but at most that temporarily expands a pony’s standards of attraction. It would do nothing more harmful than make a pony ogle somepony they hadn’t considered attractive before – and maybe make them feel more experimental than usual.

This was not one of those cases.

This was a worst case scenario.

In my rush to escape and regain control of myself, I hadn’t closed the wound. I couldn’t trace it, but I could taste it. I could finally get the context I needed. There was a small waft of apple pancakes smothered in honey and syrup. It was a comforting homey taste, yet I could taste more to it. In the background was the scent of sweat and leather.

They had definitely moved beyond platonic friendship. Leather was the most primal and energetic form of lust for ponies. It is passion of the highest caliber – although ve had a feeling most ponies would misinterpret such a feeling far more morbidly than they rightfully should.

Just because I tasted leather did not mean leather was used, and I did not need nor want that kind of information.

The honey soaked pancakes were far more important, however. Love is too unique an emotion to naturally remain in an ambient state for long. It quickly decays into its various components – components that are sometimes different from even second to second.

Tasting honey this pure in the air was unnatural.

I hadn’t closed the wound, and every second that passed by that love would continue to bleed out until there was nothing left.

I stomped the ground. “Idiot.”

I finally found the strength to snort.

Relishing in finally being able to vent, I did it again.

“Idiot.”

I found twice wasn’t enough.

“Idiot.”

And then I repeated three more times for good measure.

“Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!”

My chest was heaving, and I was drawing stares from the few remaining ponies in market. I’m pretty sure my voice had dropped a few octaves to its normal pitch. I didn’t care. When Twilight got back negotiations were as good as dead – and so was I – if this wasn’t fixed.

And I couldn’t fix it unless I told Rainbow and Applejack what went wrong.

And I couldn’t do that because Twilight had ordered me not to reveal myself until she was back.

Ve knew there was more than a ninety percent chance the princess would want us to drop the act and fix things if ve could – and there was still at least a fifty percent possibility ve could fix it. It was impossible to act on that knowledge, however, when the princess hadn’t provided us anyway to override her order on the almost nonexistent likelihood ve would need to.

Ve slumped to the ground and stared at the hole. There was always an answer no matter how unlikely. Ve mentally repeated that mantra over and over as ve analyzed our options.

There had to be some loophole to explaining what was wrong without revealing ourself.

Ve were so wrapped up in our thoughts ve didn’t notice the tinkling of bells until our vision turned pink.

“Aww… Here I was about to yell at you for the pinchy knee from earlier, and now my frogs are hopping. I think somepony needs a hug!”

I wasn’t sure what I mumbled in reply. It was muffled by the fluffy pink fog that had swallowed me when the Anomaly had hugged me without warning. Cotton candy clouds swam like molasses over my chitin – seeking to fill me with joy. Every intake of breath condensed the mist into the sweetest of fruit punches that trickled down my throat like ambrosia. A tingling numbness hit my outer extremities, and I panicked.

I almost threw the filter up all the way again, but the moment I thought about doing that her leg twitched and she let go. My vision returned to find her tilting her head while looking at her knee.

“Another pinchy knee? That doesn’t make any sense…” The Pink Menace pouted. “Hugs make everything better…”

I shook my head, and wondered if there had always been two Pinkies. I hiccupped – then giggled. “Oh, I’m feeling much better. Can’t exactly think straight now though… Need to think straight if I’m gonna fix things. Need to fix Rainbow… Or is it Applejack?”
I staggered to the side.

Pinkie caught me, and I barely raised the filter to a manageable level in time – although a full on block wasn’t necessary when I wasn’t being hugged to death.

“Are you all right? Maybe I should get you to a doctor.” Even her voice sent waves of emotion through the air. I had no idea how mother managed to stand close to this mare for an occasion as happy as a wedding.

Nodding my head almost caused me to wobble off my support. “I’m so much better than alright. Your hugs give love poison a run for its money, and that stuff kills. It’s Applejack and Rainbow Dash we need to worry about.”

Her head tilted again, and a slight shudder ran down her spine.

I tripped at the disturbance.

When I was back to shambling on I grimaced and sighed – except it came out as more of another hiccup and a lopsided grin. “Twilight’s gonna kill me if I don’t fix this.”

“Fix what?” Orange creamcicle was a lovely flavor for curiosity.

“I can’t tell you. It’s a secret. Shhhhh-” My rather loud stage whisper was cut off as I threatened to tip over again.

Pinkie caught me again. Her smile seemed a bit more forced, but Pinkie Pie would never force a smile.

The cotton candy clouds were laced with chocolate lightning.

I realized the filter was slipping – which was silly.

Filters don’t normally slip.

I realized that meant I was drunk on joy – which was silly.

Lords couldn’t get drunk on joy.

Our metabolism was too fast for that.

“You are an Enigma, Pinkie Pie.” My latest hiccup produced a shockingly pink bubble. I fumbled the filter back into place again. “You can get me drunk on sheer happiness, and your distrust tastes like chocolate of all things.”

Pinkie froze for a second.

I snorted. “There! You feel that? Milk chocolate turned to dark chocolate. It’s bitter and sweet at the same time. How do you do that?”

Her head slowly twisted to look at me. “So that’s what shivery spine means.”

“What does what mean?” I asked – wondering if the giant gingerbread house we were entering was actually real or if I needed to raise the filter more.

Pinkie looked around conspiratorially before whispering in my ear. “If you can tell what I’m feeling, you must be a changeling.”

I toppled over, gasping to get through the laughter. “Oh, Pinkie. I can’t be a changeling. If I were a changeling, I’d be dead right now.”

“Umm…”

I ignored her lack of response. “I mean, if I was a changeling, and you knew I was a changeling, then you would know the secret Twilight ordered me not to reveal. And if that happened I would be violating an order. And if that happened I would be violating the Contract. Thus I would die. Quod erat demonstrandum.”

I could see what appeared to be half the town jumping out of hiding places. Their faces were frozen in a rictus of horror.

“Surprise…” A single voice ventured.

“Huh…” I had a lovely view of Pinkie’s hooves tapping nervously while I was on the floor.

Her words were as chipper as ever. “I forgot this was why I was bringing you here in the first place.” She shook her head. “Don’t freak everypony. She’s-“

“He.” I interrupted.

She looked at me funny. “Alright, he’s just really drunk right now – drunk enough to want to be called a he. Don’t take anything he says too seriously, and have fun. We’ll have to throw her-“

“His.”

“We’ll have to throw his welcome party later because I’m suddenly thinking she-“

“He.”

“I’m pretty sure he needs medical attention.”

There were a couple of awws and various sighs as Pinkie threw me on her back and trotted out the door, but I could hear the party continuing on even as we left.

“So how drunk did my hug make you? You weren’t acting anything like this before.” Her emotions were a delicious orange chocolate.

I laughed as I watched the upside down world go by – my head dangled over her side. “I told you I can’t be a changeling if you know the secret. And since you know the secret, I must not be a changeling. And if I’m not a changeling, I can’t be drunk on joy. Ergo your hug didn’t make me drunk in the least.”

I paused for a second – tilting my head to the side. “And if I’m not drunk on joy then I am clearly incredibly stupid while sober. I mean, I haven’t had any alcohol today after all.”

Pinkie sighed. “You’re that drunk then? This is why I have a two drink maximum at parties. I guess I’ll just get the full story from Twilight.”

The gentle rocking of Pinkie’s trotting had me sleeping in five minutes.

Honestly, I’m not sure if meeting Twilight’s friends or meeting the diarchs was worse. The diarchs had been terrifying, but we weren’t going to be seeing each other on an almost daily basis.

The Elements were – for all intents and purposes – my wardens. I would need to interact with them on a daily basis.

I hadn’t even met them all yet, and I wasn’t sure I could survive that.

Their emotions were powerful – dangerously so.

Mother had claimed Equestria could provide enough food for everyling, but the sheer level of emotion behind Pinkie and Rainbow Dash had been outright staggering.

Ve had to wonder if she had even been in her right mind during the invasion.

To Move The Heavens Themselves (Twilight) Part 2

To Move The Heavens Themselves (Twilight) Part 1

Changing Time’s Notes: Sometimes our hearts get the best of us. No pony – or ling – is truly immune to the siren call of emotions. Changelings may talk of limiting their emotions, but in the end that was always their biggest mistake – crafting a crutch that has taken far too long to overcome. It has made them all the more vulnerable, even if it was useful or needed at times. It seems the Everfree Hive had certainly realized this, given this report.

I have seen – neigh, lived – the ultimate consequences of such rigid filtering, stoppering, and general bottling of emotions. The prince himself believed Twilight was better suited to handle reporting the first trip to the Everfree Hive, but he gave me the same memories and myths he and the others were granted that day, and it is my regret to say that Twilight Sparkle’s retelling cannot truly give them justice. Even she admitted as much when I voiced my concerns on the matter. In the end, I can only hope your curiosity is peaked enough to seek the truth yourself.

If you are such a pony, find someling and ask: Can love truly be strong enough to move the heavens themselves?

To Move the Heavens Themselves: A Report by Twilight Sparkle

The trip to the Hive was simply fascinating. We might have experienced a few hiccups getting there, but the trip was well worth it. I got page after page of notes, but that wasn’t even the most exciting part. Deep in the bowels of the Everfree Hive we were given a choice. It was a choice to—

Ah, forgive me. I’m getting far too ahead of myself in my excitement. It’s just what I experienced was so—

Right, I’m doing it again. Let me start at the beginning. I had invited all my friends to come, but only Rainbow and Rarity had found the time to tag along. Applejack and Fluttershy were busy expanding the vampire fruit bat sanctuary, and Pinkie had been called to Canterlot by the Cutie Map. I had asked Castle if Pinkie could wait to go, but he was being less than cooperative.

“What?” I blinked, tilting my head, but Castle’s response remained just as enigmatic.

“It is not my place to say yes or no, Mistress, but the Department of Taxes has dire need of Miss Pie’s unique perspective. –Friendship Castle”

My muzzle wrinkled further. “Seriously, what? I don’t even— How is the DoT—” My eye twitched once – I think. It was at least the first twitch I noticed, and I quickly performed Cadance’s breathing exercise. I. Must. Not. Freak. Out. This was nowhere near the most stressful thing this week.

But Pinkie ‘color-coded’ her taxes in crayon. She’d drive whoever was involved up the wall in a heartbeat.

“Can I at least get a name to make things quicker?”

Pinkie was pronking while she said that. She always pronked, and the DoT had rules on pronking. I would know. I had had to sit through a 3-hour lecture – one that I’d found boring – on the perils of improper pronking when Celestia took me as a filly. I’d been so excited to learn about the tax system, and they had completely ruined it for me. Pinkie would never last, but there wasn’t much I could do. The map had never been wrong before – and now I knew it was tied to an actual intelligence.

The map flickered, replacing Pinkie’s Cutie Mark with a small scatter plot, and I couldn’t help snickering. “Oh, I wish I could see this…. Pinkie, I know who you’re going to visit. He’s one of the nastiest ponies I’ve ever met.”

“Who is it?! Who is it?!” The party pony froze mid-hop. “Wait! Don’t tell me! I want it to be a surprise!”

I shook my head. “He’s not the kind of pony you want to be surprised by, Pinkie. His name is Mean Norm, and, if you live to make others smile, he lives to make other ponies miserable. I would almost pay to see what happens when you two meet, but my trip to the Everfree has to come first.”

Pinkie waggled her head back and forth as if unsure which direction to tilt it. “You make it sound like he’s nothing but a mean ol’ meanie pants – and you’re the Princess of Friendship! Just how bad is he?”

I shook my head, sighing. “Let me put it this way. He hates the guard since he can’t use them to ‘encourage’ prompt tax payment. Just to spite them, he went from door to door in Canterlot to get a petition signed. In a week he had a declaration that all of Canterlot hated him, and demanded he couldn’t be a changeling and shouldn’t be subject to the monthly changeling checks.”

Pinkie’s head settled on tilting left. “Isn’t that just what a changeling would do, though?”

“Pinkie, he’s proud enough of how nasty he is to walk from door to door and get ponies to hate him. If he was a changeling, he wouldn’t be able to feed.” I massaged my forehead with one hoof. The fur my frog was running over was filled with the tiniest of split ends, and I resolved to go to the spa when I got back from the Everfree. The relaxation would be good for me.

Her head flip-flopped to tilt right. “Yeah, but he could just be acting mean. It doesn’t matter if Mean Norm is unlovable. If he’s a changeling he could be all ‘fwoosh!’ and turn into Median Rare – barbeque master of the tax system. Feeding on the love of fellow workers, as he cooks up a storm of honey-smoked vegetable kabobs and broken hearts.”

My hoof froze, and I could feel my fur splitting. “Why didn’t any of us think of that?! My brother spent weeks trying to figure out a way to check him!”

“You mean there’s really a barbeque master in the tax department?” Pinkie was salivating.

I twitched again ‒ briefly. “No, the secondary disguise thing!”

Pinkie giggled. “Well, it is just a teensy bit scary to think changelings could be anywhere or anypony, so it’d be even scarier if one changeling was more than one pony. Maybe he was expecting everypony to not think about it too hard.” She tapped her chin. “Or maybe I’m wrong, and he’s just not himself when he’s hungry. I’ll have to pack extra Nickers bars.”

The logic of Pinkie Pie was a dangerous beast to stalk, and I took care not to follow it too far down the rabbit hole. Instead, I changed the topic. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us first, though? Even if Mean Norm might actually be a changeling, I’d really appreciate you coming with me first.”

Her smile became almost painfully wide. “No! I’m sure. After yesterday, it’s probably not a good idea for me to go.”

I tilted my head to the side. “Did something happen? Morpheus got back really late last night, so I didn’t get to ask him how things went.”

Pinkie was silent for a moment before sighing. Her head slumped so far forward that it almost kissed the ground. “Kinda… Just being near me makes him go all loopy after a while. I’m just glad Mrs. Cake was so exhausted from the twins when she saw him that she thought she was seeing double.”

I tilted my head. “What did you do to stop everypony else from panicking?”

Pinkie squirmed slightly. “Umm… I might have convinced him it was easier to bake with wings and a horn, and he might have taken that to mean look like an alicorn. Wanna guess who he picked?”

“Not really….” I sighed, turning to the door.

“Okie! Dokie! Lokie!” I could hear Pinkie begin to sprong along behind me – her cheer was never shaken for long. “Just ignore the words ’Dusk’ and ‘Shine’ and ‘failed experiment.’ He wasn’t thinking straight enough to be a mare most of the time. On the bright side, I make one smoking stallion. Literally! I don’t think I’ve ever seen a stallion smoke before – or bubble for that matter. Bubble Berry had a very bubbly butt.”

I stopped for a second, shuddering violently in hopes of shaking that particular mental image. “Pinkie… Too much information.”

Pinkie had left an hour ago, and everything I needed for a basic trek into the Everfree had been packed, checked, double checked, and triple checked. I had repacked when I realized I had accidentally started eating one of the trail mix bags in boredom – completely validating my worries over whether I needed to quadruple check. Morpheus had yet to rise, and we were going to be tardy if he slept much longer.

I ventured down the hall holding his room. I had been too busy to stop by and see how or even if he had personalized it. Of course, Castle would have told me if he had done anything too bad, but I kept getting visions of my nice and pristine castle covered in whatever that green goo from the invasion had been.

Finally, reaching his room I knocked.

There was no response so I knocked again, somewhat louder. Once more there was no answer, so my hoof slowly pushed his door open, and I inched inside – eyes closed just in case.

“Hello?”

The sliver of light from the hall was consumed by the darkness within. My horn brought more light to the void, but even that seemed hampered – as if the shadows dripped down upon us.

The room was humid. Damp. Moist. I could feel perspiration crawling down my skin in the most frustratingly slow fashion, and my fur was faintly quivering in irritation. My tail flicked from side to side at the sheer wrongness in the air. It was like swimming in a sauna.

On the plus side, what I could see certainly looked normal. The dressers were perfectly aligned. The shelves were dust free. The bed was made and empty except for a bedside mint and a note. There was no changeling prince, however, which merited further investigation.

Perhaps he had woken and left while I met with Pinkie. Flicking the table lamp on with my magic, I trotted over to read the note.

“Look up not around, Mistress.”

A drop of green goo plopped onto the note, hissing slightly, and a slight glow – similarly colored – entered the upper limits of my peripheral vision. The skittering sound that I’d been successfully ignoring since entering the room decided that was a good time to start clawing at my ears.

So I ever-so-slowly looked up.

Just beyond the range of normal line of sight – visible only if a visitor decided they wanted to look at the ceiling – was a web. Both fascinating and disturbing in its viscous composition, I could not tell if its strands were a fluid glue or a solid silk. It seemed to bend and twist and absorb the light from the room, increasing it’s glow in turn, and through it dozens – no hundreds – of little black scarabs swarmed. I could feel my stomach drop at the sight of them, and my mouth opened up to scream. It did so a few times, but no sound escaped while the bugs swarmed to the center where the prince was all but cocooned in the web.

The scarabs wings buzzed, elongating in little bursts of green fire to turn into chirps. Their chirps were shrill sharp notes – nothing like the haunting violin sounds I had heard from Morpheus and Chrysalis – and, as their ‘music’ drove into my eardrums like a dentist drilling teeth, my brain was assaulted with similar stabs from their skittering thoughts and feelings – like lemon-scented millipedes decided to crawl over my brain.

It was in that terror-filled moment I discovered where stallions got that horrible stereotype for screaming like a filly. I was vaguely aware that I was, in fact, screaming, but the only feedback that informed me any sound was made at all was the panicked scattering of the skittering things and the jump Morpheus gave. He launched himself from the cocoon-like strands in surprise, and I quickly found myself in a tangled pile with him as he landed on me.

“I see yesterday was productive.” He hissed, each eye retreating behind its respective haw.

“You laid eggs in my castle?!” I sputtered scrambling to my feet. I could hear them scritch-scratching about the shadows.

He had the gall to simply scuff the floor – clenching his leg holes open and close while smiling sheepishly. “Maybe? Ve can’t actually remember anything I did yesterday. It’s all a sugary blur.”

The lights flickered and writing appeared on the wall. “You mentioned something about wanting some company if I recall. Desired to make some bits. –Friendship Castle”

“You didn’t!” I wailed, picking up a pillow to hit the prince with. “That. Is. Illegal. In. Equestria!” Each word was punctuated with the satisfying thwap of a pillow.

He, in turn, desperately tried to interrupt my righteous crusade. “Wait– A– Second– It’s– Not– Like– That!”

I paused, glaring through the rain of feathers. “I thought you said you didn’t remember anything?”

He gave a few exasperated tsks and clicks. “Ve don’t, but you’re taking that out of context. Bits are a basic form of livestock. They have to be created through the manipulation of an asexually produced egg. It’s impossible for any form of mating to result in them.”

Curiosity peaked, I tilted my head, continuing to glare – pillow at the ready. “But mating can still happen? The other day you said changelings didn’t reproduce like that. Were you lying to me?”

His ears clunked against the back of his head as he shrank inwards from the accusation. “L-lie? V-ve didn’t lie! V-ve don’t lie! Pinkie Promise! It’s just so hard to wrap our head around changelings like Lyra and Third Eye existing again!”

I cringed as his slight echo fractured into the stutter. My own ears splayed back as I saw how fast he made the motions to the promise. I had only been half-serious. He had barely even scratched the surface of the topic when Lyra came over, and I didn’t think I’d seemed that mad. “Hold on, Morpheus. It’s not that big a deal.”

“But… you called me a liar. Ve told you that was the worst thing you could ever call us.” He bit his chops.

It took a second for the memory to kick in. “Oh! I’m sorry! You told me that days ago in a conversation that was hours long and full of thousands of nuances about changeling culture. I spent most of that time taking notes I haven’t been able to study. How could you possibly expect me to remember that?”

He tilted his head. “That is… fair…. Just please remember this time. I heard you say that, and – even if you’re emotions suggested you didn’t really mean it like that – it hurt to hear more than anything ve’ve heard in a long time. Ve still don’t know if ve can call you friend, but the lengths you’ve gone to give me a chance…”

He took a deep shuttering breath – the plates of chitin on his barrel contracting together in a tapping noise as he exhaled, rolling slightly as if they were waving. Looking at me, he smiled without shrinking his fangs. “T-they give me – u-us – hope for the future. The very idea is laughable really. Hope is just misplaced faith in an unlikely outcome occurring. What else can I call it though? W-when you said th-that w-word,” the fractured echo of his stutter shattered further in a furious buzzing hiss, “the future was suddenly so bleak. Ve were reminded what ve really had to overcome, and ve saw ve had been subconsciously falsifying our chances.”

I shuffled nervously from hoof to hoof, unsure of what to say. He had been like this the other day when he was so worried I’d condemn him and his race for their admittedly odd form of propagation. There was so much despondency and despair in his voice. I didn’t even know if there was anything I could do except listen.

A manic bark of laughter escaped him. “By all rights, we have no feasible right to a chance yet you continue to give us one. The other Lords read my reports and think I’m simply manipulating you. They don’t understand that true forgiveness can’t simply be forced into being. It’s a two-way street that’s as dependent on you as it is on me.”

Ruffling my wings, I tried Celestia’s Sunlight Serenity Smile #43. It was a calm smile, meant to encourage others and give an aura of wisdom and confidence in the face of adversity. Unfortunately, the forty-third smile was reserved for times nopony had any idea what to do. I could feel my cheeks strain with the effort of stopping it from appearing forced.

It was oddly both disheartening and heartwarming to hear him vent. He was willing to share what I could only guess were some of his most private concerns and insecurities. He trusted me whether he fully acknowledged it or not, and that was a big deal for changelings from what he’d told me. I was a friend to him – even if he was hesitant to admit it aloud – and I was pretty sure he could be a friend to me too at this point.

But Fluttershy had stopped by yesterday to tell me about his visit with her.

Between what she told me and his speech here, I was beginning to worry about how disillusioned he was with his own kind. He was cynical of the Lords. The few friends he had had apparently distanced themselves from him for being a ruler. He cared for changelings as a whole – as a species – but that could only take him so far. He didn’t really believe in his own goal – in friendship.

I had to fix that.

I didn’t know how, but I had to fix that.

“Thank you.” I was snapped out of my thoughts by the words. The clock was a whole three minutes farther along in its job for the day, and I blushed as I realized I’d zoned him out. He had needed a friend to listen, and I’d gotten absorbed in my own thoughts.

‘Wicked Smooth’ scrunched his face. “Please, don’t be embarrassed. Embarrassment is so unpalatable. I was rambling – monologuing really – so it’s fine. The fact that you were concerned speaks volumes more than simple listening.”

That just made me more embarrassed. I had been so far out of it I missed him disguising himself, and he could taste how awful I felt. Of course he could. I really wanted to just melt into the ground right now.

Morpheus gave the smallest of smiles. “Really, it’s alright. Maybe we should get ready for the Everfree, though. A trip to another Hive isn’t something we want to waste just because my emotions got the better of me.”

My eye almost twitched again. “Right! We wouldn’t want to be late!” I laughed – or rather I tried to. In reality it was more of a bray. “Everything we need is packed in a pair of saddlebags in the front hall.”

“Then we shouldn’t keep the others waiting any longer….” His smile shifted to a barely noticeable frown as he passed me into the hall.

“Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!” Hoof met forehead repeatedly.”Why did I laugh? He can literally taste whether it’s sincere or not.” Reigning myself in, I let my frog massage my temple. “Probably thinks he messed up now. I know I would if I heard a laugh like that.”

I sighed before trotting to the door to follow him. “It’s not even the trip that was bothering me. Yes, we’re late. Yes, that irks me. But it bothers me more that he’s just…” I exhaled, slumping onto my haunches. “...hiding from himself.”

I looked to the ceiling. “Castle, you’re a giant sentient fortress of friendship made manifest. It can’t be a coincidence that you always know who to send…. What can I do to help here?”

I paused for what felt like forever, staring at the goopy green ceiling until it became clear there would be no witty response.

Summer's End (Morpheus) Part 4

Summer's End (Morpheus) Part 3

After sating Twilight’s curiosity and my emotional hunger, we decided to try a few more games. Unfortunately, all of the ones we tried ended up with me either being completely outclassed for lacking the standard level of pony magic or had me completely outclassing the competition such that the game was no longer fun.

The tug of war in particular was frustrating, as there was little ve could do to improve our team’s efficiency. It was a game of strength that relied on proper and timed applications of force – something I’m good at – yet most participants were already so in tune with the rhythmic pulling between each side that I ended up merely being dead weight until we were covered in mud. Thank the hive that Twilight knew that cleaning spell, because I otherwise would have spent a week trying to clean myself properly.

Finally, we decided to simply give up on the games for this year and to wait until next year when Twilight had a better idea of what I could do. Tired, hungry, and sweaty, another application of the cleanliness cantrip had us feeling remarkably refreshed, so we wandered about looking for something to eat.

The crowd around us watched in morbid fascination as Twilight and I ate our lunch. Each crisp crunch of beer-battered goodness sent spikes of curiosity flowing over me. It was overly sterile with a hint of ash – less the taste of hospital disinfectant Twilight normally gave me, and more like a morgue or crematory. It was the sort of curiosity one knew they were going to regret.

Indeed, every so often somepony would brave the trip to the fish and chips stand, order a meal, and promptly stare off into space or squirm after the first bite. Pleasure and loathing mingled equally as ponies came to the conclusion that fish – and possibly other meats – were in fact quite tasty, and I was doing my best to contain my chuckles at the faces ponies were making.

Popping another piece of fish in my mouth, I chewed, swallowed, and grinned at Twilight. “Ve don’t know what you were worried about.”

Twilight nibbled one of her own pieces, glancing at our spectators. “I wasn’t worried about myself. I was worried about everypony else’s reaction.”

I licked my chops as another piece went down my gullet. “Twilight, you’re a princess. If anything, you eating fish and chips is just going to open up ponies to the idea that it might be okay to be an omnivore.” I nodded to several of the tables around us that were seating the more adventurous of our audience. “I can just taste the guilty pleasure they’re feeling. You keep eating in the open rather than behind closed doors and soon ponies will start thinking it’s normal.

“You really think so?” Twilight smiled, dipping a fry in her ketchup. “I always figured it was just another reason to hide from the crowd at Burger Princess.”

“Well…” I drummed my stabilization rods open and closed, “...it could also result in labeling you an outcast and freak, but the chances of that are minimal – to the point that it falls into the realm of outcomes you would deem implausible enough to not be worth considering.”

“Then why are you bringing it up?” Her smile became a little too big to be natural.

“You asked?” I shrugged. “And there are a number of implausible events you’re still interested in. I mean, you made a big deal about our prediction that Shining would come raging out of the north when the papers announced we were dating, but he knows the special circumstances of our relationship. Such an outcome was unlikely at best.”

“He’s overprotective to a fault….” Twilight groaned. “I was just a little bit worried he’d forget about the whole ‘dating’ scheme with what you told the papers.”

“Perhaps,” I snapped up another fry, “but Cadance certainly wouldn’t.” Indeed, Cadance was hoping I would fall for Twilight, so ve doubted she would let Shining ruin that. Not that I could tell Twilight that.

“I suppose….” Twilight stared morosely at her tray – the little plastic basket now devoid of anything but crumbs and tartar sauce.

“Hey.” I nudged her with my grease-flecked muzzle. “You were the one who said today was a day for no worries, so stop that. You taste awful right now.” Not exactly the truth, but her emotions tasted very sobering compared to the rest of the fair.

She sighed, then took a deep breath – inhaling and exhaling slowly – and finally smiled back at me. “You’re right. My brother will sort himself out eventually.” She pulled out her checklist. “Let’s see. Next is getting our fortune told.”

Levitating our garbage into a nearby trash can, we rose and made our way through the tables surrounding us – a sizable number of ponies squirming in a mix of guilt and pleasure as they tasted the wonders of fish for the first time. Stepping back onto the main road, we squeezed through the crowd. We were packed like sardines in a can, and ponies jumped slightly at the sensation of chitin on fur when I bumped into them accidentally.

“There it is!” Twilight pointed, teleporting us the rest of the way.

As reality reasserted itself, I stumbled slightly, putting a hoof on Twilight’s withers. The tent in front of us was slightly larger than the average stand – more of a small temporary house than anything else – with alternating pink and maroon stripes and several pointed peaks holding blue and yellow flags. I stared at the sign driven into the ground – three crystal balls, two blue, one yellow, over a funnel cake – and tried to contemplate the odds of the Enigma lying beyond the curtain shrouding the entrance.

It was almost a given thethe smell of funnel cake wafting from the tent.

Twilight hesitated at the tent flap. “I should probably clarify this before we go in – because I know how you are with Pinkie – but the Pinkie Sense is only good for vague and immediate events. She can’t actually read the future or anything.”

On the one hoof, hearing that filled me with relief that the Pink Menace wasn’t secretly an oracle. On the other hoof, hearing that confirmed Pinkie was through those tent flaps.

She entered, and I stepped inside to find a waiting room full of balloons and beads. Coloring books and crayons sat on the tables instead of magazines, and one of the cursed clocks from Sugarcube Corner ticked loudly as it hung on the wall.

“Hi, guys! I wasn’t expecting you for another two hours!” Pinkie stepped out from behind a curtain of blue and yellow beads. She was shrouded in a shawl and turban – nested hoop earrings jingling merrily as her ears danced a jig. “Good thing my ears are flopping and my frogs are tingling!”

“A lot of the carnival games just aren’t fair when a changeling plays.” Twilight frowned. “I had to knock a lot of items off the list, so I brought us earlier than normal.”

“Well then, Madame Pinkie Pie is on the job!” The perky pink party pony pronked through the curtain again, and Twilight and I followed.

“Don’t you normally have more business?” Twilight tilted her head to the side – examining the many tapestries draped on the tents wall.

We were in a hallway of sorts with a stream of art detailing some event ve couldn’t ascertain the nature of. It looked like it had something to do with a rock farm and tentacle monsters, but ve weren’t sure why such a dreary place – nor the odd monstrosities – would be detailed here. Granted, the Pie family owned a rock farm, but it wasn’t exactly fitting.

“Yeah!” Pinkie nodded, pushing another curtain back. “We usually have a full waiting room, but they all ran for it when my Pinkie Sense went off. Probably thought I said, ‘Tingling frogs! Ear flop!’ rather than, ‘Ear flop! Tingling frogs!’” She giggled. “The order means the difference between a simple change in schedule and having to rebuild the town.”

Twilight’s face scrunched as she went through the curtain. “Let’s be thankful it wasn’t the other way around then”

We entered a room that was best described as pink. It was technically a thousand odd cloths draping everywhere in just as many shades of not-quite pink, but, in all honesty, Rarity was probably the only pony in Ponyville who would be able to tell that. It was far easier to simply average everything into pink.

We each settled into one of several elaborate cushions – fractal patterns of pink on pink on pink overlaying each other such that the average eye only saw ‘mottled pink. Seeing we were ready, Pinkie began humming and hawing – running her frogs over her crystal ball in mysterious ways.

The room darkened except for a sole ray of light illuminating the table. The bundles of incense around the room began to burn of their own accord, filling the room with a heady, dizzying, scent. In the now sweltering heat, the beads hanging from the ceiling began to sparkle and waver like stars, and the very room itself seemed to spin around us beyond the solitary patch of light in the center. Galaxies and comets shot past us as the universe itself rushed past us.

Twilight and I watched uneasily as flashy dramatics escalated to surreal wonder. Both of us began to fidget at the sights and sounds presented to us, and I may have shuddered at the influx of information – leaning into Twilight so she might shield me from the madness of the Pink Menace.

“Is this normal?” I whispered, trying not to distract the Enigma.

“Oddly enough, no.” Twilight whispered back, face scrunching. “I’m just hoping it’s Pinkie being Pinkie, and that she didn’t spike the incense.”

“I see…” Pinkie’s voice wavered as she attempted to maintain an air of mysteriousness. “...somepony—" she winked at me “—and someling getting a couple really cool birthday presents.”

“Well, Madame Pinkie Pie,” I chuckled, “I hate to burst your bubble, but, while that might hold true for Twilight, changelings don’t celebrate the day they hatch—" I shut my mouth as ve realized a second too late what I was saying could only invite trouble.

“You don’t celebrate birthdays?!”

Pinkie’s voice rang through the oddly warm darkness of space around us. Ve contemplated screaming for help, but my vocals chords had frozen in terror of saying something else idiotic.

Twilight was stifling her giggles, and I could have gotten drunk on the waves of sugary mirth bubbling from her if I wasn’t a lord. She stopped trying to hide it – bursting out laughing in a less than regal whickering snort – as there was a popping noise and the Pink Menace’s hair deflated. There had been a significant amount of concern wafting from her toward her friend at the sight, but ve guessed it was outclassed when she saw me backpedal into space and hiss as I beheld Pinkie’s transformation. It was the only proper response for me to take, though. After the last time she did that, ve reviewed her files and stumbled across an old file so small it would have escaped notice had it not been classified.

Ve had found The Party of One.

The Pink Menace now stared at me with big puppy dog eyes and a far too flat mane. “Oh, I’m so sorry for you. I wish there was something I could do to make up for—"

Her hair exploded into curls again as she began to vibrate with dangerous levels of excitement. “Of course! I can throw you and all the others enough parties to make up for it! It’ll be like a birthday marathon and can go on for weeks and weeks and—"

Twilight shoved an oddly cupcake shaped galaxy that was floating past us into Pinkie’s mouth. “One Hoof in the Mouth Special for Pinkie.” She giggled as her friend began to chew vigorously. “Sorry, Pinkie, but I don’t think Mo wants that. Right, Morpheus?” She nodded to me and I lunged at the lifeline.

“No! No, I don’t!”

Pinkie’s hair drooped again, and I hastened to continue.

“Why celebrate birthdays when you can celebrate the Chrysalling? Nasty stuff, hatching from eggs all wriggly and worm-like. Ve mean, larvae don’t even last a few hours – almost immediately entering the first Chrysalling – so why not celebrate that instead?”

We didn’t celebrate it right now, but she wouldn’t know that I was merely being rhetorical. Even as she perked up once more, though, ve knew I’d need to run damage control, and thus I dutifully informed the hive of our new holidays via a mass message spell. I immediately received several replies asking if the Pink Menace got me drunk again from the lords, but got several thousand more joyous thanks from the rest of the hive. Smiling, ve resolved to never let the Enigma find out about this particular bluff – lest she spend the rest of her life attempting to throw birthday parties for everyling to make up for the ones they missed.

Finally, Twilight’s giggling subsided, and she gestured a hoof to the universe dancing around us. “Alright, Pinkie, not that I don’t love the special effects, but we kinda need to go. Can you turn the room back please?”

Comets continued to flash past, and galaxies drifted by. I poked a hoof at the utter blackness beneath me and felt ground, yet I could not see it. The illusion – if there was one – was nigh perfect.

“Oh, that’s easy.” Pinkie pulled a small dangling chain that hadn’t been there a second ago. There was a clicking sound – like that of a lamp turning on – and we were suddenly back in the sweltering room full of burning incense. “Did you like the show by the way? Dissy helped me add a little oomph to the readings.”

“Dissy?” I arched an eyebrow.

“Yeah, Dissy! You know, Discord?”

I blanched. Such an innocent nickname was ill-suited to the lord of chaos. Still, it would be a lie to say there wasn’t a certain appeal to the dazzling stars we had beheld.

“It was certainly an eye opener.” True, although perhaps not entirely in the way ve meant for Pinkie to take it. As awe-inspiring as it was, it was also just as overwhelmingly disconcerting. Not the display itself, that is, but the idea – however brief – that the Pink Menace had that kind of perception shattering power, and ve had to wonder if that had been part of Discord’s plan.

“I certainly enjoyed it.” Twilight hugged her friend. “Just make sure Discord didn’t rig it to do anything else.”

“Already did!” Pinkie squeezed back.

“Well, it’s time to get going then. Next is…” Twilight pulled out her checklist.

“Actually, Twilight, could we stop by Webber and the Echo triplets to see how they’re doing? I’m curious as to how good their business is going.” I shuffled from hoof to hoof, unsure if it was wise to interrupt the list.

Twilight’s face scrunched, mouth moving almost imperceptibly as she ran the numbers. “Sure!” She finally responded. “They might be at the other end of the fair, but I’m pretty sure we have more than enough time to spare with having to drop all the games. That is, unless you want to have more time for rides?”

“No. No. I’m good.” I shook my head. “I get motion sick just looking at most of these rides.”

“Well, Pinkie here was in charge of most of them this year.” Twilight chuckled.

“I was!” The earth pony was vibrating again. “It took me forever to convince the mayor they were all safe.”

“Probably because they’re all screaming metal death traps…” I muttered only for Twilight to elbow me.

“What was that?” Pinkie fluttered wide naive blue eyes at me.

“Nothing!” I coughed, and Twilight elbowed me again, pulling me out of the tent by my ear tube.

As we left, Pinkie sneezed. “Itchy nose, pinchy knee? Again? Those kissing booths must be so busy.”

Echo, Echoe, and Ekho had set up shop in an isolated alley near the Round Up roller coaster, which was dizzying just to look at. The ‘car’ had no restraints – relying on the centrifugal force of the spinning bowl that held everypony to keep passengers still. Pressed into the wall with nothing but a rapidly rotating view of the sky – and sometimes ground – it was perhaps the most disorienting contraption ve had ever seen.

The triplets were running a trio of kissing booths. Their stands were covered in soft violet velvet and cushions. Curtains enchanted with privacy spells were draped over the outer layer of the booth – on the off chance such was desired – and cheesy romantic ballads rang from a phonograph stationed on the middle booths counter.

It was a rather charming little setup that was no doubt lost on Twilight with the much more alarming sight of Echo, Echoe, and Ekho kissing their current customers as a certain lavender colored alicorn. The lines – stretching on for a fair few ponies – watched on with a mix of rubbery embarrassment, leaden shame, and tangy curiosity.

Echo— Echoe? Ekho? Someling noticed our approach as they pulled back from a customer. A flash of emerald flames revealed Ekho – or so I thought – and she waved to us. “Hiya, Princess! Here to help? You’re really popular today.”

Twilight’s eye twitched once as she squeaked incoherently, and the lines vanished in a cloud of dust. There was the sound of an avalanche as about a hundred ponies scrabbled over the alley wall and stampeded down the road on the other side. Overall, it was not the worst reaction ve could have expected, but it would have been better to avoid agitating Twilight.

If only I had known the triplets were taking other ponies forms. Alas, as far as ve were aware, Twilight had asked them not to take the form of actual Equestrians for things like this.

“I thought… I told you… to only take on guises of ponies you invented yourselves when doing… this….”

My mistake. She didn’t ask them. She told them. That carried even more weight than a simple request. I gave a disappointed look to the triplets and showered them with the leaden bullets of shame they ought to be feeling.

They squirmed from the somber nature of the heart to heart – trying and failing to shield themselves with the steely resolve of their purpose. “We’re sorry, Princess—" true, given the nature of their dry sorrowful response as my leaden rain continued to assault them "—but almost everypony wanted us to become another townspony. If it makes you feel any better, it was just a little kissing.”

“You didn’t… use your other permit?” Twilight’s leg twitched in a half gesture that time. It seemed her body was slowly unfreezing itself.

They all prostrated themselves. “Oh, no, Princess! Ve all knew that’d be taking things too far. Ve all would rather starve than betray your trust like that.”

“Good…. Good….” Twilight shuffled towards the alley entrance. “I’ll just be over here, wiping my memory of the past five minutes. Morpheus, you check… whatever it is you wanted to check.

I glowered at the girls as she passed out of sight. “I expect you to apologize for this. She did not need to see this. What possessed you to take her form when she told you not to?”

The triplets glanced back and forth between each other. “Well, we didn’t at first, but there was this really cute yellow stallion that could make hearts stop when he looked into somepony’s eyes. Blue mane, hunky for a pegasus, and the build of an off-duty guard. It was like a forbidden fruit. How could we say no to that?”

I arched an eyebrow. “Off duty? How could you tell? What if he was an undercover guard making sure you followed Twilight’s order?”

The three froze, the mish-mash of uncertainty washing off of them. “We didn’t think of that.”

“No. You didn’t, so be glad Twilight’s too nice to do that.” I sighed. “And please try not to take advantage of that unless it’s a matter of life and death. I get it was an accident here, but…” I trailed off.

“Regardless,” I shook my head, “I suppose you’ve answered my question of whether or not business is going good, and that’s really all I wanted to know, so I’ll be out of your fins.”

Webber’s stand was just a block over. It was a wood stand – made of simple planks – that claimed the doctor was in and would advise for one ticket. He was in the middle of a conversation with Applebloom and Big Mac, but, when he saw us, he flipped the ‘in’ sign over to ‘out’ and waved us over. In kind, his current companions nodded to us both as we came over.

“My Lord.” Webber started to prostrate himself before remembering it wasn’t needed and turning it into a small bow. “I’ll be with you in a moment, as soon as I help Mister Macintosh.”

I smiled at the progress, small as it was, and rewarded him with a nibble of my shockingly sweet pride and joy – literally shocking, given the pride. He reluctantly accepted, and I almost frowned, but I carefully hid my disappointment. It wouldn’t do to just guilt him into accepting it.

“Howdy!” Applebloom offered her hoof and I braced myself before I took it – stabilization rods sliding into place just in case. She did indeed have a terrifyingly strong grip – just like her sister – and I soon lost my hoof to the almost violent upheaval of the hoofshake. “It’s nice to see y’all again!”

Big Macintosh thankfully settled for a single, simple, silent, sympathetic, nod in our direction. “Howdy, Miss Twilight. Mister Morpheus.”

“Big Mac!” Twilight beamed. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here. It’s wonderful that you decided to relax a little instead of just working the farm again.”

The piece of grass between his teeth shifted as he mulled her words over. “Ah’ve been to the fair before.”

“Yeah, once!” Twilight giggled. “After that it was back to the same old same old.” She tilted her head to the side. “What are you up to, then? Have you tried any rides yet? They’re next on our list.” She pulled out the list for emphasis.

“Well…” Big Mac hummed a deep, sonorous, baritone, “...remember how the last time Ah came to the fair, Ah was looking for some nails?”

I blinked at the strong mixture of sugar and spice that came with the thought. It must have been some fair to make him so wordy, and ve had a feeling Applebloom had been involved that time to, because her emotions did the equivalent of a cringe as he mentioned it.

“You’re kidding.” Twilight laughed looking to Applebloom. “Again? You stole all his nails again?”

“Ah woulda put them back,” Applebloom groaned, “but More Power went a little crazy with the nails. This year's crusaders built the darn near the most sturdy catapult ah’ve ever seen, but it took every single nail we had. There weren’t any nails to put back.”

Big Mac sighed. “It’s the same dang gazebo, too….”

Twilight snorted in a very unprincess-like fashion. “Of course it is. Was the hardware store destroyed by wayward fireworks again too?”

“Eeyup….” Big Mac sounded so very, very, tired.

“Oh, my.” Twilight managed to tone her mirth down to giggles. “You really could use some advice then. I see why you came to Webber.”

“About that…” Webber – eyes glassy – finally broke into the conversation. “Ve might have a solution for you. How many nails do you need?”

“Only about fifty or so.” Big Mac shrugged.

I felt the ping of a message spell telling me where to look in the Hivemind to see Webber’s plan. My eyes glossed over as ve looked through it.

“That just might work.” I thrummed, slowly beginning the required shifts to my biology. It was a unique challenge – creating a series of detachable spines that operated similarly to our tails. The memories recording the changes were ancient and out of date – full of little holes from a lack of proper use and maintenance – so ve needed to change the plan on the fly.

Finally, I finished and pointed my hoof at Webber’s stand. With only a brief click and whistle as a warning, I shot a spine from one of my fetlock cavities at high velocity. It embedded itself almost entirely into the wood.

“That’s far more efficient than trying to make detachable porcupine spines.” I nodded as ve replaced the memories with our updated version – making a small note of the original design. Turning to a slack-jawed Applebloom and ever-stoic Big Mac, I nodded. “Take Errant and go grab our some of our carapace cement inside Castle. They’ll need it to replace the carapace they’ll be transferring into the spines. When you have that, take them to the farm – or wherever this gazebo is – and have him provide the nails for you. It’ll be good shapeshifting practice for them.”

I looked to Webber. “Unless you object?”

He shook his head. “No, that was our plan too. It’s an excellent chance to see if they have potential as a drone and I can message them all the pertinent locations in the hivemind.” He turned to Applebloom. “Just be sure to treat them to a honey bun or some ice cream afterwards.”

“Well, alright then… If y’all think that’ll work.” A rather bemused Applebloom headed off – Big Mac politely slowing himself to match her smaller pace.

I nodded to Webber, baring my fangs in a grin. “Ve would have taken forever to think of that, but, then again, you’re my advisor for a reason. Keep up the good work.”

“You know, I’ve never seen or read of anything quite like this.” Twilight had left my side at some point – examining the spike embedded into Webber’s stand. “How did you even manage this?”

“I’ll tell you some other time.” I thrummed. “At least give me a chance to keep some things secret and mysterious for a while.”

She huffed. “Fine, but I expect detailed lectures then.”

“Whatever you say, Twilight.” I chuckled. “Whatever you say….”