Derpy Meets The Doctor

by Heavyhauler75622

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Doctor Whooves, Main 6, Romance, Princess Luna, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Crossover
Length: 89946

The humble mailmare of Ponyville wakes up one day to go to work. A nice, normal, everyday sort of day...until that day, and her world, changed forever.....

Ponyville's favorite mailmare starts the day in her usual way. Wake up. Toothbrush. Then breakfast, toothbrush again, a pass through her mane with a comb to try to get it to behave. Then, goodbye to Dinky, and off to work...
First, Discord. Then The Doctor. Princess Luna. Princess Twilight Sparkle. Princess Celestia. A fight for everyone's very lives...and a grey Pegasus mare with bubbles for a Cutie Mark right in the middle...
Don't you just love it when the universe decides you're really not a background pony?

Published 2015-03-05 22:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-05 22:00:02 UTC

Chapter Two: The Blue Box

Someplace, somewhere, sometime different, a creature felt the warm twinge of time being manipulated. If it had a nose to smell with, it would have sniffed the air, if air had been present. Lacking those particulars, it simply knew something had changed. Changed drastically.

Forces manipulated on a quantum level, it started moving toward the warmth. Just as it picked up the trail, something else had come along. It smelled, or tasted, or felt, whatever, even better than the thing that had attracted its attention in the first place. As the creature slowed, the other else, barreling along, swept it up and pushed it in front, as it sped down the trail.

The creature managed to stay in front and away from the fast-moving thing. Perhaps it was hunting, too. They were both following the same scent…

There was a tearing, as the thing split into two. One went into one reality, the other continued to push the creature along into the other…where the trail had come from. Riding the wave, the creature thought of food to feed its hunger.

Then the trail disappeared, and the thing started to slow in the reality and change direction. The creature wasn’t too concerned; starships did that all the time. It would simply take up the hunt once it reached whatever it was coming up on.

It struck the ground. Quickly, in a species feared for its speed, it moved toward the smell of…

The bear stared at the thing that had suddenly appeared. Nudging it, it sat immovable and inert. The bear watched it carefully, just in case it might attack.

She slowly walked back down the road toward her house, as the thoughts raced around inside her head. She liked the guy, draconequus, demigod, whatever. Once you met him, you could figure it out pretty quick that the guy was a showoff; that he needed to awe an audience. If you even paid any attention to the amazing things he could do, he just gravitated to you. If you appreciated his mindset, the guy was so starved for attention; he’d latch on to you and pour his heart out. It was endearing, actually.

Problem was, he was dangerous. Fluttershy had managed to muzzle him pretty effectively, but he had a driving need to encourage entropy. Derpy was convinced Discord was cracking under the constraints. Then she came along, helped him (sort of) torture Flutts’ rabbit, (now, hold on, Derpy; neither of you set the bomb inside that mailbox…you just made Angel own up for it), gave him some appreciation of his talent, and now, he had two friends.

Her musings continued as she picked up her mail from her box and went to her door. Fluttershy was one thing. She had friends, acquaintances, interactions, but she went into Ponyville for those. Derpy’s friends frequently came to her house, because of Dinky.

That was something entirely different. Discord was right down the road. Could everypony handle it if he came over unexpectedly?

She unlocked the door, walked into the quiet home, setting her mail on her kitchen table. Unbuttoning the right epaulet of her jacket, she set the mailbag onto an empty chair next to the table, and then took out a plate and her favorite coffee cup from the cupboard. She then unbuttoned and removed the lunchbag.

Pouring a cup of the still hot coffee, she plated the muffins, and started to eat her lunch. The muffins were the more normal bake shop kind from the chain store on the northwest side of Ponyville. Not as exacting as the Cake’s talented products, or the loving offerings she herself made, they weren’t all that bad for mass produced.

She started on the last one, enjoying the quiet while she calmed her thinking down. Whatever the consequence, she was still happy about Discord’s friendsh…

Vworp…

Derpy sat up in her chair, her ears pricked up. What was that?

Vworp…vworp…

Like most of her species, Derpy was possessed with extraordinary hearing, and both her ears and her head swiveled, turned toward where the noise/sound was coming from...

Vworp…Vworp…Vworp…Vworp…VWORP…

There was no mistaking it now…the thing was in the backyard. She got up and went to the back door, curious…

And with what sounded remarkably like two thumps against the ground, the sound suddenly stopped.

Derpy hesitated. What if…

“My house. My yard.” She took a deep breath…and tugged the door open.

There, in the corner where the house and the coach house met, was a large, strange, blue box. Not only was it jarringly different in architecture than the usual thatched roof whitewashed design most homes and businesses in Ponyville had, it was a general mismatch to any style she was familiar with.

She slowly walked up to it, then walked around. It was definitely blue, not cobalt, more royal in shade. There were windows, two on each side, but she couldn’t see anything when she tried to look in them. There was some sort of framed-in light at the top, and a banner sign ran around all four sides near it. Each side said the exact same thing: “police public call box”.

“What the hay is a call box?” she said aloud. Ponyville had no ‘police’, there were a couple of constables, whose main function it seemed was to take reports, walk around on occasion and appear stern, and chase some of the more mischievous fillies and colts when they played hooky from school, or come to grips with the purloining of the high school senior class. Otherwise, they were pretty much around for decorative purposes. They did try to do things during a crisis, mostly try to evacuate anypony in the threat area, but by the time they got it organized, the crisis usually had moved on, abated, or met the Mane Six, to its predictable and fairly quick end.

What she assumed passed for the ‘front’ of the thing had a pair of doors; some very odd smallish door handles, she supposed, that were obviously for something other than a pony to use, besides being mismatched and unevenly installed, a symbol on the right door that said, ‘St. John Ambulance’, and a small door inside the left one. It carried a sign.

“Police telephone. Free for use of public. Advice and assistance obtainable immediately. Officers & cars respond to all calls. Pull to open,” Derpy read aloud from it.

“Well…why not.” After she spent a few moments working at the edge of the small sign with her hoof, she managed to get in behind it to pull it open. And was confronted with a telephone handset on a cradle. Other than being of unusual design, it was very reminiscent of the one inside her own house.

She picked it up, started to listen. The connection was open, she heard the same noise hers made when the line was ready for calls; the odd, hollow sound just before the dial tone kicked in, but it didn’t have any dial tone or ring the other end for the operator like it was supposed to.

She tested it. “Hello? Hello?”

Nothing.

“HELLO? My name is Derpy. If anypony is there, could you please come to my house on General Delivery Route A, number 35? One of your boxes is here, and you need to come and get it. Hello? HELLO?”

No answer.

“Well that was a lie. No officer answered, not even one of those ‘cars’ things; they probably meant ‘cart’ anyway. Probably a misprint; and that isn’t giving me a lot of confidence, either. What the hay am I supposed to do with a blue box?” she said to herself, exasperated. It was right in the middle of their favorite grassy spot in the backyard, where she and Dinky liked to lay in the afternoon sun and read books. She hung up the handset in the cradle, shut the door a bit harder than was needed. She backed up, making the same disgusted face she had when confronted with raisins in her muffins. She HATED raisins.

“Maybe I can get Discord to help me move this thing out of here, start making a few calls around to find the owner. Maybe some flyers. If not, it’s an interesting ornament, sorta, but it’s in the way where it is. If I put it over there on the left, I could always use it for storing stuff inside,” she considered.

Awkwardly, she placed the tip of her hoof into as much of the door handle of the right door as she could. Those would be the first to go; replaced with some decent levers, and she’d make sure with Dinky’s help that they would be straight and even. She pulled on it. The door shifted slightly, but wouldn’t open.

“Aw, for cryin out loud…” she then noticed the smallish, delicate lock on the door.

“BATS! It’s locked?! Who hates me so much that they put some stupid blue box in my yard, and then lock it up?” she grumbled disgustedly. It was very obvious she was going to need help with the ridiculous thing.

She stared at it balefully, even more put out then she was before. She was going to have to leave in a few minutes to bring back the picked-up mail, presort it, and get back before Dinky started home from school on the coach. She could walk home with her from the school if the timing worked out right. There just wasn’t enough time or circumstance to deal with this absurd thing at the moment. And she wasn’t all that comfortable just marching up the hill to play moving company so soon with Discord, either. It would keep until Sunday. Besides, those St. John Ambulance folks might catch on to their mistake, and come on their own to remove it.

She went back inside her house and locked the back door, went to put all her kit back on, rinsing out the thermos and putting it all back together, then putting it into the lunchbag, which she carefully resealed. She strapped it on and cautiously re-buttoned the epaulet over the strap. She did the same thing with the mailbag next. Setting the plate and cup in the sink and the plastic bag from the muffins in the trash, she gave the kitchen a once over to see if it was picked up and neat. Satisfied, she left by the front door, re-locking it with her teeth, using the robust key she carried. A test push and pull to check, and then she was aloft, on her way back to the Post Office.

If she has taken just a moment or two longer to circle above and watch, she would have seen something try to push the doors open from the inside of her backyard’s latest acquisition. Then abruptly, it stopped.

Derpy landed right on her spot on the loading dock, and then started for the service entrance. On Time met her just inside.

He had a worried look on his face. “What happened, Derpy?”

Derpy almost blurted out that she just had a quick conversation with the Lord of Chaos and that everything was copacetic, but she had a feeling that wasn’t what On Time was worried about. She paused just inside the door and looked at him. “Nothing at all. What’s up, Chief?”

On Time’s face was taking on an ashen hue. “You’re back almost two hours early.”

“NO. Really? I hit all my stops, Chief. Look, my bag is almost full…”

She showed him. Not only was it full of her pickups, but they had already been pre-sorted and bundled neatly by zone. All had proper postage, and none of the stamps had been cancelled yet. Exactly as she does it. Except…

“Huh. When did I do the presort? I usually wait…”

She looked at him. His color had returned, after his fear of a Derpy crash had been alleviated. In fact, he was becoming rather pleased with the situation.

“Great! I’ll just take this,” he said, as he undid the epaulet and levitated the bag to the Mail Room. “Oh, and Derpy, you can clock out now if you want; I’ll put the adjustment on your hours in with the card as early route completion. You’ll get the full hours you were promised, just like the rules say.”

“Uh, sure, Chief. Let me clean this thermos up, and I’ll do that.” She was a bit bewildered.

“That’s fine. Super job today, you must have had tailwinds the whole way. Get your gear settled and get outta here, you nut! Go have some fun with your filly!” he chuckled as he left with a huge grin.

“Sure, Chief…”

She was brushing out the thermos in the break room, thinking about what just happened. There was no possible way she should be this early. In fact, that little morality play she and Discord forced upon Angel should have run her clock down tighter than usual. She glanced at the wall clock. One fifteen.

She was way ahead of her pace. The absolute earliest she could complete the route on a light day put her close to two o’clock or so. On a heavy day, she frequently finished at two fifty, even three. This wasn’t all that heavy a day, but still…

She finished with the thermos, rinsed it, then left it drying in the rack, along with its stopper and the lid. As she passed the time clock she punched out, and then went to change. Theoretically, she could have waited until she put the uniform and bag away, but her internal clock was so screwed up today…

She was putting her gear away, when she paused…the whistle dangling from her hoof, interrupted mid-flight to its hook opposite her hat.

“Discord…”

It had to be him. Nothing else would explain it. The sneak shifted time for her, and against all his instincts and proclivities, actually instilled order in her mailbag, sorting her incoming into their proper bundles to save her even more time.

She chuckled warmly. Have to hand it to the guy; it was another of his surprises, and a welcome one. She was going to get more time with Dinky!

She finished in the locker room, then blasted outside to the dock, launching herself like RD did, snap-rolling as she gained altitude, a loud, “Woo-HOOO” in her wake…

On Time laughed. The girl had her moods. She came in confused, washed and put away her stuff in the break room pensive, and now was rocketing away for the school overjoyed. Celestia help the stallion that married her. He shook his head, smiling, as he bent back to his paperwork.

All thought about the blue box was forgotten in her head as she blasted off toward her little filly.

The creature moved in fits and starts, as things came and went. None were suitable prey, as their perceptions wouldn’t generate the needed food to eat. The creature was infinitely patient, though. Each time it could, it moved its odd new appendages closer to its receptors, until it could once more seek the warm, flavorful trail that brought it here. It had a good idea where the thing had set down, but all the new energy around it was very confusing, and until it had studied the strange flavors and managed to eliminate them from the scent, it was wise to be cautious.

Derpy backwinged and touched down right in front of the school. Even though she would have to wait, she was just too excited to find something to kill time with before school let out. In fact, it was taking an amazing amount of discipline on her part to not charge in and get her released early. Much as she wanted to have her back, Derpy realized Dinky needed her class time.

She took to pacing back and forth in front of the school, nervously trotting a circle as she waited.

“Can I help you, ma’am?”

Derpy looked up from her hooves. It was one of the constables, “Officer…?”

“Dibble, ma’am. Officer Dibble. Did you need help, ma’am?”

“Oh, no, Officer Dibble. I’m Derpy; I’m the mailmare for Ponyville, and I just managed to finish delivery early. My daughter goes to this school, and I decided to pick her up and walk home together today.”

“Oh, fine ma’am, but you’re going to have a bit of a wait. Did you need to go and do anything else?” he asked.

“No, I’m fine…oh, wait. Who do I need to talk to about the blue box in my backyard?” she asked, suddenly remembering one of her other odd occurrences.

“Blue box?” Dibble asked, confused.

“Yes, sir. Somepony dropped a blue police box in my back yard by mistake today, I’m sure. Some sort of call box thingy, that the station responds with officers and something called ‘cars’?” Derpy asked.

“Um…” he replied.

“Does that mean ‘yes’, or ‘no’ Officer Dibble?” she asked, confused, peering intently at the constable.

“No pony told me about any special ‘police public call box’, ma’am. Did you want to make a report on it?” The officer seemed eager to write all this stuff down.

“Do you know of any ‘St. John Ambulance’, either?” she asked as well.

“No, ma’am. Are you having some problems with them, too?” He seemed even more confused than she was.

“No, it really isn’t a problem, sir. If it’s a joke by one of my friends, I’ll find out soon enough. If nopony is involved, you can come out later on and I’ll make a report. My place is a bit out of town, so it seems kinda silly to have somepony trot all the way out for a prank,” she said evenly.

“Yes, ma’am. We appreciate your concern in this matter. Here’s my card,” he said professionally, handing her a business card, “…and if you have any other things to add, please let us know.”

“Oh, okay, sure,” she replied matter of factly, taking it and slipping it into her mane. “I’ll do that.”

He nodded, then suddenly, took off at a canter. “Snips! Snails! I see you both, trying to sneak back into class! Both of you, march over here!”

Derpy watched him go. On a whim, she took the card back out, looked at it…

The phone number on it was for the Town Hall exchange switchboard. The Constabulary didn’t even have a dedicated phone line. Their calls for service routed through the main PBX.

She goggled at it, and then put it back away. The box wasn’t from here. It professed a direct line for the officers and ‘cars’ to respond on, not the operator in Town Hall. Another mystery. And Dibble had no idea about St. John Ambulance. There wasn’t any such organization in Ponyville. She should know; she delivered the mail here.

It had to come from somewhere, didn’t it? Maybe it was going someplace important when it ended up in her backyard. Hopefully, the owner was already backtracking to find it…though it should have smashed to bits when it landed in her yard…

She started pacing again…for a new reason, now.

Chapter Three: 'John Smith', of Croupwich...

Suddenly, the blue doors popped open, and a chestnut-colored pony tumbled out.

There were several remarkable things about this. The first was; this individual bore a striking resemblance to one that at this very moment was trying desperately to deal with a woman in a wedding dress inside his own blue box. Similar dark spiky hair, a similar long brown coat, and a similar confused situation. Another was, unlike the individual with the same blue box and the woman in the wedding dress, he wasn’t wearing a brown pinstripe suit; just a white dress shirt collar and a green tie. And, of course, that one of them was a humanoid, the other, a pony, or ponioid, or some sort of thing like that.

The pony had a good-sized knot on the side of his head. He shook his head to clear it, then stood up…

Or tried to. The novelty of being a creature with four legs now instead of two wasn’t lost on gravity. He stumbled, and fell right back on his face. He sat up once again, rubbing the swollen side of his head with a hoof.

“Oi!” He stopped rubbing, looked around a bit. The architecture was a charming reflection of some early English…wait a tick, that didn’t feel like his hand rubbing his head.

He stopped suddenly, looked at his hands…or attempted to.

“OI!” he exclaimed loudly. “NO!” “Nonononono!” he continued, as he half trotted, half pushed himself backwards into the box through the open door. Once through, he gave the door a rather uncoordinated pull with a foreleg as he crawled back toward the center console.

Oddly, the controls had changed a bit, to take into account his new anatomy; everything was where it should be, more or less, just made easier for a creature with hooves. With some difficulty, he pulled a screen into position with a hoof. He grabbed a lever, flicked it over.

“This working? Right. Now…” he said as the characters crawled across the screen.

“What? Chameleon Arch? I thought I shut that off years ago…” He moved to a new section, fiddled a few more things.

“What? Equestria? Where the hay is Equestria? And what do I mean by ‘hay’? It’s not ‘hey’; that would make sense. Or it would, if ‘hey’ were a noun. Did I make an exclamation? The other thing was a noun, so it makes sense there…I think.”

He continued to read. “Multiparallel interdimensional temporal rupture? No! More like a puncture…it had a slow leak…and I leaked through. And once through, the safety systems of the old girl sealed it back up.” He fiddled some more.

He sounded uncomfortable. “It sealed…but it had to be sealed up from both sides. My old me over there in his…and this new me over here in mine, as I went through. Humanoid forms don’t exist here…”

He pushed the screen away, exasperated. “Rubbish. I don’t know the first thing about being a pony. Humanoid forms, yea, I can do those. Not equine. How do you do equine without a frame of reference? Experience? Riding lessons? Action figures? Fan art?”

He stared morosely at the console. “I can’t go back, can I…?”

Derpy beamed as Dinky ran up, gushing like a broken water main. “MOM!” she shouted.

“There’s my sweetest muffin!” There was another one of those crushing hugs between both of them. Derpy closed her eyes in bliss at the feel of her little filly trying to squeeze the stuffing out of her.

“Mom, look! I got TWO gold stars on my career day report!” Dinky said proudly, the construction paper poster flapping slightly in the gentle breeze.

“Two, you say? How did you manage that?” Derpy asked happily.

“I showed everypony how you take their mail and stack it just right inside your bag so you don’t have to hunt around for them, then bring them their letters and put them in the mailboxes as you pick up the ones they want you to take, and how sometimes you fly, and sometimes you walk, and then take them to Mister On Time and how he puts them in the trays…”

Derpy just beamed. Amazing how just the right touch of eight year old made a routine thing into The Grand Galloping Gala.

“And oh! You brought a letter to school from Canterlot! Princess Luny will come by our houses tomorrow around eight with her coach to pick us up! Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were SO mad they could have died!” Dinky went on excitedly.

Derpy’s smile lost a tiny bit of wattage behind it, but kept it together. Nervous mother, just being a nervous mother…

She tuned her attention back into the conversation just in time to hear, “…they still kept pretending that they didn’t care, but Twist heard them during afternoon recess that Tiara was gonna make her Daddy tell Princess Celestia that she had to come to her birthday!”

Derpy chuckled as they walked toward home. “I don’t think Filthy Rich can tell the Princesses to do anything, Dinky; I think it’s the other way round.”

“I know! Princess Luny will be SO MAD…!” Dinky said excitedly.

Derpy’s heart fluttered for a second or two as imagined retributions flashed through her mind. Foremost was a midnight black mare in ancient barding, laughing sinisterly…

Serves him right for spoiling Diamond Tiara…

“Mommy, I have a surprise for you!”

“There’s even more, dearheart?” Derpy asked warmly.

“Yeah! Bonny gave me candy again today, and I shared it at school liked we talked about, but I saved the best and most for you…because you were sad this morning, and I want you to be happy!”

She smiled as her eyes teared up a bit. “Why, that’s wonderful, my dear! My special muffin is always thinking of making others happy. You are so sweet, you probably taste better than the candy!” she said as she kissed the little filly, then smacked her lips. “Mmm…I was right.”

“Mom…you have to taste the candy too, you know,” Dinky said, a note of exasperation in her voice.

“You’re absolutely right, Dinky…let’s get home and we’ll test it,” she chuckled apologetically.

The creature was becoming upset.

Somehow, it had managed to arrive in a rural environment. Such places limited its options. Starships and crews were scarce, unless it had crashed. Sapient forms were frequently unavailable to feed on. And the wildlife was disruptive.

Take the bear, for instance. It had already moved on, away from the tree where it had been seeking honey, and managed to eat its fill. It would be back off and on over the next few days. That was unimportant.

However, the bear had made a significant intrusion into the life of the bees, which swarmed around as they contemplated what to do. The bear had ruined their old home, so they sent scouts to find a suitable replacement. In the meantime, many had filled their crops to almost bursting with the remaining honey, and waited on various surfaces while the scouts found a proper place. Some had alighted on the creature, and forced it into camouflage. They wouldn’t move until they had a place, or it became dark and they huddled together on a tree limb somewhere to pass the night. That meant it would have to wait for the night, too.

To pass the time constructively, it had been studying the smell of the energy around it. None was useable as food, which was disappointing, and some had even proven to be a hindrance, interfering with its ability to hunt. It would have to get much closer to prey to sense it, before any feeding could happen.

But there had been a tradeoff…it felt entities manipulating the energy. Entities that manipulated energy usually were intelligent. And intelligence usually meant civilization, and very good hunting. One well of insanely vast power was both intimidating and beckoning, as well as two other vastly large sources, one greater than the other, and a similar, even smaller third one. Another, not as powerful as the third one, tantalized the creature, but it was a great distance further away to the north. It was planning to taste each one for suitability. The extremely powerful one alone could sustain life beyond understanding.

Soon enough…

The Doctor walked around a bit more, getting used to the feel of four legs. He was picking it up rather quickly, though he still stumbled a bit on occasion.

“Not bad, not bad…I suppose it helps that most ponies figure this out minutes after birth, though.” He pulled down another one of his screens, looked into its darkly reflective surface.

“Now see, that’s quite interesting…I’ve changed, but yet I haven’t changed. I look exactly, yet nothing like I did...”

He shrugged off the coat. “Still a bit thin…hullo, what’s that?”

On both sides of his backside were markings; an hourglass with the sand running down.

He scratched the back of his head with a hoof, still a little unnerved by the feel of it. “Hourglass; glass, sand, hours?” Time?” He danced a bit while looking from one flank to the other. “Time Lord?”

I have who I am written right on my rear? He considered it thoughtfully. Convenient, that. He turned again, sat down so he could turn and see one of them up close.

“It’s not some nonsense tattoo or brand, either. The colors…” he said as he reached, bit, and pulled some hairs out. “Ouch! The colors are in the hair…” He looked closer at the tiny bald spot. “No, the colors go straight down to my skin! How do they do that? Nevermind, not important now.” He stood up. “Hungry.”

He walked slowly to the ‘kitchen’ of his vast machine, the clip-clop of his hooves echoing…and stared glumly at the smooth rounded knobs on the dispenser. “Well, that does it for that, for now.” He sighed.

“I don’t suppose there’s a restaurant nearby, with my luck today. Still, nothing for it but to go look.” He went back over to where he dropped his coat, and with a bit of struggling, teeth, and wiggling round the floor on his back, put it back on.

“There! Now…” he reached into a pocket, managed to pull a key on a chain out. A small key. He sighed despondently. But as he watched, the key became more substantial, larger, with a head he could turn with his teeth, or a hoof edge.

“Better!” He spoke to the empty room. “Now, be a dear, and while I’m out and about; would you mind terribly if you could do something about the pantry, and also the winder for the tins? I’m quite literally all hooves with them. Thanks ever so much.”

He went to the doors and pushed them open. “Allons-y,” he said quietly, and stepped through.

The sun was fairly high in the sky, but he felt it was obviously later in the day. He decided to look around a bit.

“Hmmmm.” He had come down inside someone’s garden. He put the key in his mouth, then into the newer, more substantial lock on the door. It was a bit clumsy, but it worked, as the key turned and the door lock clicked. He managed to drop the key into a pocket.

“Now then.” He walked up to the door in the back of the house, boldly knocked. No answer. He fished around in another pocket, came up with a charmingly anachronistic pair of what used to be called 3-D glasses in the other universe, with odd colored cellophane lenses. He had them nicely balanced on his hoof…and no fingers to put them on with.

“One, two, three.” He quickly brought the hoof up as he brought his face down. He smacked himself a fair piece by doing it, but the glasses were in the proper place on his face.

“Must find a better way,” he said, as he shook his head to clear the self-generated stars out. He looked around. There wasn’t anyone home. But that wasn’t the fascinating part…his vision was alive with energy bands; flowing, eddying, rapid current there, slow lake here, a riot of power cascading everywhere. Incredible.

“What? What’s all this?” He was tempted to take them off and look, then put them on again, but he wasn’t sure he could manage it. He concentrated, picked out a specific spectrum…

It was a vortex of incredible power, dark, a bit foreboding…and concentrated into a spot up the road. He moved onto a different one…

And noticed it floated in the very air, everywhere…it appeared almost tangible, though to his face and body, it felt no different than any atmosphere anyplace else. Another one…

Webs everywhere, touching everything. He looked at his body, found the webbing even touched him, though the flexible threads were ethereal. Amazing.

He decided to chance it. He reached up…and fumbled the glasses right off and onto the ground.

“Drat!” he said, as he delicately picked them up with his teeth. Taking a half-second to look, he noticed the energy showed no evidence of its existence in unfiltered reality. He re-balanced them on a hoof, reached for his face…and dropped them again.

He sighed, reached once more with his teeth…as two sets of legs appeared in his vision. He picked the glasses up gently.

“Hewo. I’m Teh Doctor,” he said, slightly mumbled by the glasses. He managed to spit them back out onto his hoof.

“I’m Derpy, and this is my daughter, Dinky. Are you here for the box?” she asked quizzically. He appeared nice enough, but Dinky being around, she was a bit cautious.

“Well, no. Yes. No. I’m the owner, in a way. We come as a set, the old girl and I. I’m sort of here because of the box. Which means I’m here for the box, I suppose,” he said in a rapid fire voice. The reply hinted at a mind trying to do everything at once, and getting answers out in a bit of a hit and miss way while stumbling into itself.

“Oh. Would you like help with that?” she asked gently as she took the glasses from his hoof with hers…and held them steady, though the flat of the hoof was more perpendicular to him. Gravity should be playing its little game with the things, but it looked like it decided to pick up its ball and go home, instead. Aquainted as he was with Van der Waals forces, this seemed to be something quite new, and a great deal more determinant by the pony manipulating...

Drat. Focus, Doctor...

“How...how do you do that?” he asked, perplexed.

“Hmm, what?”

“That! The glasses! Hold the glasses. Hang on, could you put those on me, please? I seem to be all hooves today.”

She shrugged. “Sure. “ She planted them expertly on his face, intrigued by the paper frames and the odd single lenses, red on his left, blue on his right. “And you might want to consider some ice for that bruise on your face.”

“Right. Now, could you pick something else up for me?”

“Are you making fun of me?” she said querulously.

“Well…no, I’m making fun of me. I can’t seem to hold on to things today, and I’d like to see how you do it,” he said matter-of-factly.

She stared at the odd stallion for a moment, then took Dinky’s two-star report in hoof…

“Aw, that’s BRILLIANT!” he crowed. He had watched, fascinated, as the ethereal webbing between the mare’s hoof and the paper shrank and thickened, until it held the paper firmly against the flat of her hoof.

She handed it back to Dinky, with an odd look between pained and giggly.

He raised his hoof, touched the frame of the glasses, as he watched from the corner of his eye. As he concentrated, the tiny little thread between them started to thicken and pull into a mass that bound itself between the frame and his hoof. He lifted them clear of his face with a flourish of triumph and a toothy smile, and then re-deposited them in his pocket.

“Absolutely brilliant! I never thought exchange force could be manipulated like that, just by thinking about it!” He put a kindly hoof on her shoulder. “I think you’ve saved me from an existence of unbelievable clumsiness. Rather chuffed about that.”

She stared at the colt like he’d lost his mind. “Hey, listen, not that I’m suspicious, but do you have any identification that you own this thing? I’d hate to have you take it without checking, you understand.”

“Oh, certainly.” He fished around in another pocket, pulled out a wallet with a small sheaf of index paper inside it. He held it up near his face, as he concentrated. “There you are.”

“There I’m what? It’s blank,” she said, perplexed.

“Oh. Well there’s…this,” he said, holding up a new page, near his face as before.

“Look mister, that’s not that funny. Just tell me who you are.”

“‘John Smith’,” he blurted out, looking at the little book as he tried to find another page. Why wasn’t it working?

“OH, the ‘St. John’ on the door guy? Why not just say so?” she said, slightly annoyed.

He looked at her askance from under his brows, the latest page just under his hoof. “Yes. Yes, that’s me. Doctor St. John Smith, though I don’t use the St. (he pronounced it ‘Sin’) anymore.”

She smiled calmly. “Hey, don’t be too hard on those guys moving it where you were gonna put it…I made a mistake once while flying a complete household to their new place here from Fillydelphia. Dropped the whole thing, almost, right on top of Twilight Sparkle.”

She chuckled happily. “I got canned from that job, of course, but my Civil Service application was already filled out and on the way. After the Weather Team thing happened, the approval for my entry into the Mail Service was already in my mailbox, so it really didn’t matter. I’ve been flying the Ponyville Mail ever since; though,” the voice quieted to a conspiratorially proper stage whisper, “…I still don’t know what went wrong that day.”

“Excuse me, you said, ‘flying’?” he gaped.

She unfolded her wings. “Sure enough.” He stopped dead, awestruck, at the sight. She folded them back, giggling.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to stare. They’re quite gorgeous, really,” he apologized lamely.

“Hey, it’s nothing; not like everypony in the world sees Pegasi right up close. Were you gonna get your company to move it? You didn’t bring any help with you,” she pointed out, looking around while unlocking the back door for a patiently waiting Dinky, who walked in while still staring at the unusual pony.

“Actually, I was looking for someplace to eat first. I’m starving,” he said, his mania returning a bit.

“Well, come on in, I’ll throw a late lunch together for you. What would you like, unless you’re one of those organic ponies that stick to natural browse? Unfortunately, that’s under your blue box right now,” she laughed.

“Oh, I’ll just have whatever you got…though I don’t care for pears,” he said with a scowl.

“You sound just like Vinyl. How about apple salad?” she asked with a smile.

“That’ll be perfect,” he said, dragging off his coat and taking a seat.

Derpy made conversation along with the salad. “Where are you from, ‘John’?” she asked, curious.

“Umm…” He started, as his mind went to top gear. It latched onto a name, came back, and dropped it in front of him. He resented it the moment he said it.

“Croupwich. Lovely place, you should see it sometime,” he spluttered out, wincing as he did so. Croupwich? Bloody hell, like anyone would believe that…just give the game away, Doctor…

“Oh…I’ve never met anyone from there before,” Derpy replied, as she tried to remember where Croupwich even was, drawing a complete blank.

‘John Smith’s’ mind almost let out a palpable wheww as he ducked that particular query. Somehow, it had seized on a very interesting idea. Though most ponies used “flank” in polite conversation for the backside, especially the left and right sides where Cutie Marks appeared, “croup” was much more anatomically correct.

He had declared, in a moment of close panic; that he literally lived at the rear end of nowhere…and compounded that deception by exclaiming how wonderful the view was back there…

And shortly after that exact moment, he also discovered why the term, ‘facepalm’, does not apply to a pony…although he managed not to hit himself as hard as he could have. He shook his head gingerly, trying to clear the stars out. Derpy stared in fascination at the red mark growing alongside the other, previous one.

Just then, Dinky decided to switch on her aura to unload her school saddlebag…

‘John’ watched in rapt fascination as the items she wanted floated out of the bag while her horn glowed and invoked an aura around the objects she was moving; some minor schoolwork, a partially eaten apple that Dinky immediately grabbed with her teeth, and several bags of what smelled like candies…smell? From all the way across the table? In a bag? Astounding…

She floated the apple back away from her mouth for a moment. “I’m sorry sir…please, you can have these…” one bag in particular floated right to ‘John’, who snagged it with his hoof on the first try.

He opened the bag, and his nose twitched. These smelled like…

“Jelly Foals. My Mom and I don’t eat those too much, they’re kinda sticky for my teeth. But Aunt Bonny made them in her candy shop, and they’re the best.”

He lifted one out, put it in his mouth…and she was absolutely right. Memories flooded his mind, mostly good, a few very bad, places, some reminiscent of endless corridors and empty gravel lots…and the faces of friends, comrades, a silly, wonderful tin dog, and Companions…followed by a ridiculously long scarf.

A few tears welled up in his eyes. Dinky looked confused.

He smiled that toothy smile of his, ruffled her mane playfully. “Yes you little dear, they are the best. The best I’ve ever had. Thank you both, or better, all three. You, your Mum, and your Auntie Bonny.”

Dinky and ‘John’s’ smiles was joined by a third. “You’ll want to finish this first, before that candy ruins your appetite. Bonny does something marvelous with candy; it’s hard to stop at just one.” Derpy, placed a salad bowl and fork in front of him, and then sat down. “Dinky, would you please?”

“Sure, Mom.” The little horn glowed brighter, and a large glass of apple juice fled the counter and joined the salad on the table.

Derpy smiled proudly. “She likes to do the drinks. Once Vinyl taught her how to levitate, she was off and running, practicing constantly. Hardly drops anything at all anymore, and multiples are getting easier. She’s a bit precocious for a magic user; usually they’re older than she is now. She wants to grow up and be just like Twilight Sparkle.”

“Yeah! I want to get wings like Mommy and her have! That would be fun, flying with them!” Dinky said enthusiastically.

“Now, Dinky…” Derpy said.

“Aw, Mom…Princess Celestia helped her become an Alicorn; she could help me, too! I’ll work real hard and learn everything and then I’ll learn to fly with my new wings!” She started right in on her homework, using her hoof to write instead of her magic, while the enchantment hovered the apple just out of the way until the next bite.

The Doctor ate quietly as his mind raced. He was going to need to get more information on this culture. The conversation he just witnessed may be confusing now, but once he understood the references, he’d get a grasp in no time.

He already had a good idea of how their physical laws applied. This world of theirs was awash in energy of all different types. The ‘holding’ thing was just an example. They could shape exchange bonding with mental discipline, just thinking about it. If he any chance at all, he was going to take a peek at their ‘magic’, which was more than likely some odd spacial warp influence, and that flying stuff, manipulating gravity and air resistance factors. Pony science.

“So, whose box is it?” Derpy asked, curious. “I know you own it, but where were you going to deliver it?”

“Waalll,” he said, drawling the word out, “…I’m trying to reach Princess Celestia myself,” he said, dropping the name the little Unicorn used earlier. “Developing a better way to communicate always helps everyone in the long run.” There, nice and noncommittal.

Derpy chuckled ruefully. Everyone? That was a strange way to put it. She decided to drop it for now, went on. “They said that when the telephones were being installed. You know, I was worried that my job would be threatened by them. I assumed ponies would stop writing letters and just use those. I was so wrong.” She put the cup of coffee down she was drinking, stared at the stranger, the ghost of a smile playing about her eyes.

“I would think it would be a bit of a guarantee, having to deliver the bills for the telephone service,” he said factually, as he drank some apple juice.

Derpy goggled, her eyes snapping on him as she stared at the chestnut colored stallion. It was a little disconcerting, having somepony get to the punch line of her little joke ahead of her. Somepony was bound to do it, sooner or later, but she got close to three years out of it without anypony making the leap ahead of her. Until now, that is.

“Well, yes,” she said, recovering. “And now, with bulk mail rates, mass mailings for ads make up a lot of my Tuesday delivery. I think I’ll be busy for awhile yet.” She nibbled on an apple she brought with her to be polite, but she was considering the quick mind of the pony in front of her.

Dinky had finished her apple in the meantime, and was now driving her pencil with her magic, unconcerned with the dealings of the two adults sharing the table. The Doctor was quite certain the little filly was listening in attentively, though. Curious, he twisted his head to see what she was doing.

“What are you writing, luv?” he asked her.

“The Ponyville Raising of the Sun ceremony is coming up real soon. Miss Cherilee says the best essay she gets will get to be up front in the first row to watch it.”

“The writer of the best essay…” her mother gently corrected her.

“Oh, yeah. The best one gets to watch up front,” she said, carefully avoiding the sentence construction. He didn’t blame her, it was a difficult one.

“Eh?” He read the canted, almost upside-down paper without difficulty.

Were they serious? He thought to himself. What sort of superstitious claptrap was this? These ‘Princesses’ raised and lowered the Sun and the Moon? Nonsense! What rubbish.

He did hold his tongue, though. His personal outrage at the usurpation of Newtonian physics aside, he did know better than challenge the beliefs of the local provincials, at least without incontrovertible truth in hand, er, hoof. Ten seconds at the TARDIS console would do it. Or bonking most of the locals in the head with some of these very delicious apples.

“I’d like to see that, myself,” he said noncommittally. Or straighten everyone out, perhaps.

Dinky became animated. “I could ask Princess Luny, I mean Luna tomorrow for you! She’s coming by with her coach tomorrow to take some of us kids to Canterlot. You can even ask her yourself, if you want; I’ll introduce you!” Dinky was becoming even more excited: she was going to be able to do that grown-up manners thing Mom and Miss Cherilee talked about, introducing ponies, adult ponies, to each other! That would get her a star; everypony knew everypony in Ponyville; it kinda made it hard to introduce ponies that already knew each other. It really never happened hardly at all, and she would be right in front with a little luck. Take that, Diamond Tiara!

Derpy grinned. Dinky’s enthusiasm was always infectious. ”Do you have a place to stay overnight, ‘John’?”

‘John Smith’ almost missed that she was talking to him. He caught up with a start.

“Oh. Sorry…was someplace else. No, no I don’t, but I wouldn’t wish to impose…” he managed to blurt out. His room in the TARDIS was always there, but it would be very hard to explain to the two ponies that he was planning to sleep inside the call box.

“Not an imposition if I ask. I do have a spare room, if you think your crew won’t be able to move your box today. Princess Luna will be coming by fairly early after her overwatch of the night; she and the coach will be here in Ponyville to pick them all up sometime shortly after sunup. I wouldn’t even be surprised if Princess Twilight Sparkle accompanied her for a bit, or all the Equestrian Heroines. Canterlot Royalty doesn’t get out here too often.”

“Except for Princess Twilight Sparkle, Mister Smith. She lives here, right in the Golden Oak Library,” Dinky said.

The Doctor’s ears twitched up. Library?

Derpy caught it. “You like libraries, ‘John’?” she asked with her adorable smile.

“Oh, yeah. The smell of books. That’s civilization. Seen some big ones, one so big, it’s an entire…” he stopped. He almost said it. Planet. Entire planet.

“…building,” he finished lamely. Derpy took no notice. She’d seen plenty of those at university.

“Twi would like you, then. She adores books. I borrow some from her, not the magic ones except occasional primers for Dinky, but some of the historical stuff, a few of the math and science ones, that sort.” She didn’t mention the romance novellas that she liked. Better to not put those ideas in the guy’s head.

She sat back, stretched, her wings spreading outward. ‘John’ couldn’t help but stare a bit, before looking away…right at the bookcase in the living room. He smiled.

“Where should I place my tableware? Or I can wash it, if you like.” He held back the urge to canter right into the room and start reading.

“Oh, I’ve got that. And if your conscience nags at you, you can help tonight if you stay over.” She picked up the tableware, stacked it and put it in the sink. Dinky bounced up, tugged a stepstool over to the sink, and ran water and detergent. A dishcloth floated into view.

“Dinky has the duty for the most part. We do them together in the evening.”

“Staying then. Don’t think anyone can get out here today.” He smiled even more. “Thanks so much.”

“I’m glad. All the way to Ponyville and back is a decent trip, and you’d have to leave really early in the morning to get back all the way out here before Princess Luna arrived. Well, let me monitor this. You can relax in the living room in the meantime.” She gestured toward it.

“Thanks.” He walked into the room calmly, though his mind was racing. He read the spines of the books in the moderately sized bookcase immediately after he walked in. The collection was diverse and good sized, actually. The interesting part was the science section, which weren't exactly introductory or simplified materials. In fact, some were on the seriously advanced side, according to his impression of this culture.

He found a fairly old one. “History of Equestria”. It wouldn’t be up to date with current events, but it should be fairly unbiased, he felt, and it would be a good start to get a handle on his current situation.

‘John’ actually had a couple of ways to read. He could read like most ponies, though it was a bit on the fast side. He did that when blending in, or for the enjoyment of it. The other was harder…

‘John’ plonked the book down on the convenient nearby table, which was set up near a very nice reading nook, with good lighting and comfortable cushions. He arranged himself on the cushions, picked up the book with his teeth, and settled it in front of him. Time.

He started flipping through the book rapidly, page by page, as he let his mind snatch the information off the pages. It would take time for his brain to assimilate it all and organize it coherently, but he had that.

Three minutes later, he closed it.

“Hmmm.” He picked it back up, put it away, as he took up another, this one electrical engineering. He settled back in as before.

Five minutes later, he rubbed the back of his head with a hoof. He had to slow down at certain points, try to absorb the thaumaturgy at its face value, even when his mind wanted to roll around on the floor and laugh until it ran out of breath. The task had proven to be difficult.

Derpy walked in as he placed the book back on the table. She frowned as she read the cover.

“Not exactly light reading, is it?” She picked it up for a moment, then set it back down. “Did you understand it?”

“Well, no. Yes. No.” She smiled, she couldn’t help it.

“Well, most of. Wires and resistors and fiddly bits, capacitors and such. The maths. Magic inductance and transmission, I’m lost with. Does that even work?” he asked honestly.

She looked at him. Earth ponies generally didn’t put too much stock in magic to begin with, despite their own first-pony experiences to the contrary. He was being just a little bit too obtuse about it, though. Surely his box worked on the principles.

“Yes, yes it does. Twilight is a great wizard, knows the concepts backwards and forwards. She could explain those parts better. I had Lyra in college back then as a roomie to help me through the basics.”

She sighed. “Mind if I put this back, if you’re finished? It’s an old textbook of mine.”

“Certainly…didn’t mean to pry. Just bored.” He was attuned as to how quiet she was. “You like that sort?”

She sighed again as she put it back. She considered for a moment, then gently took out the advanced physics book. “I was chasing a four year degree in experimental physics, actually. Couple minors in electrical and computer stuff. I had a terrific lab partner and great friend named Clockwork, who took up where Lyra had to leave off on engineering magic to get me there. She ended up teaching at the University of Chicacolt, in their Theoretical Phyzzies department.” She brought it to him, laid it gently in front of him. “This is an old and dear friend of mine,” she said, as she sat down next to him.

He looked at the worn spine, aged from countless times of use and reference. The hinging was delicate as he gingerly opened it. The inside cover and formerly blank front pages were covered in mathematics, formulae, and even referent equations copied from other pages so as to be easy to find; all of it was in a delicate, dainty, almost fairielike hoofwriting. Some was diagrammatical, defining devices to probe secrets and unlock them, others whimsical expressions to puzzle out everyday life, like the most optimal time and temperature to bake muffins. He moved on to the back pages, intrigued.

Suddenly, one expression jumped out and grabbed his eyes. It was involved, convoluted, twisted in and out like braided spaghetti. It bespoke of circles, vectors, loops upon loops. And it focused on a particle-wave.

Huons.

It didn’t say that, of course, she wouldn’t have that name for such a thing. But she felt it, somewhere in the expression, inside the cold factors dancing madly upon the head of a pin. She knew in her heart it was inside there, somewhere.

And she had set out to find the bugger. He saw the back pages, as the maths grew more and more intricate and specific, hot on the trail. Along the way, she had notes and theory worthy enough to catch up with Heisenberg’s and Schrödinger's disciples and lecture them about position versus momentum, and argue energy versus time with the best of those. She found Uncertainty, and sunk it into concrete before tossing it into a lake.

She was bloody brilliant.

And she was a mailmare.

And he had to pretend, as well. Managing to keep from staring at her in jaw-dropping admiration, he gestured to the book and its extra pages. “You seemed to be on to something. Mind telling me what it was you found? The engineering bits and bobs, yeah, I get those. This seems a bit beyond me.”

She let out a derisive, sad chuckle, without humor. “Oh, I thought I’d come across a Secret to the Universe. I thought I’d found a new particle in particle physics, something not in the Standard Model, after I collimated tons of junk from all sorts of thaumaturgic atomic smashers. It was lab assistant tedium work, drudgery, something the department at Canterlot University needed done, but definitely below the faculty and postgraduates idea of something they should be doing. I was on scholarship, looking for postgrad ideas, and making work-study earnings on it, which paid for all the noodles I cared to eat, and nothing much else. I called it a chronoton,” she said sadly.

He gestured to her when she paused. “Please, go on. I’m fascinated,” ‘John’ said kindly.

She sighed deeply again. “Not much to tell. I figured out an experiment. A device that could generate and manipulate chronotons, without any huge smasher. Clockwork helped me build it. I’d take some juice to run the gizmo, but the building of the dam and hydroelectric station was underway at the time, and one of the generators was available for load testing before being hooked into the electrical system. The university wanted in on the power, and I wanted to see what it would do. Had the whole phyzzies department in a snit, pulling all that energy to run one pre-baccalaureates non-grad experiment.”

“What happened?” he asked, though he was pretty sure of the conclusion.

“Nothing. Not a mucking thing. It sat there, humming away, dumping all sorts of subs around, including a manure pile’s worth of chronos, clean limited field, no stray stuff to cause any of the observers there that day to have funny-looking foals later after they married, nothing. It ran, reached its appointed shutdown time, and hummed to a stop.”

“Well, I was…mortified, to say the least. My future hummed to a stop along with my machine .The field is already pretty well filled up, and to get into a prestigious position anywhere, you had better be able to produce results. I didn’t. I probably could have picked up a teaching assistant’s job, grade somepony else’s papers for a prof they hardly ever saw, repeating entry level Neightonian work every semester for a woeful of bits and rooming with somepony that threw loud parties and indulged a drinking problem.”

She leaned back, stared into her past. “I once had a slot on the Wonderbolts precision flight team before college then; I could have stayed with just that if my eyes hadn’t worsened. I handed it off to my wing, Spitfire, before I Fox Foured; had a mid-air collision; and so I then went to Canterlot University for a degree on my education benefits, and watched that door slam shut in my face, too. I had the front row all to myself, my life, as it all crashed.”

He reached out a reassuring hoof to her. "I’m sorry…I’m so sorry,” he said meaningfully.

“Yeah, well, what’re you gonna do? Life, ‘John’. It’s what happens in-between your plans.” She snuffled a bit, went on.

“Did odd-jobs here and there, helped Carrot Top with her greengrocery, the disaster with the moving company, some part-time work on the Weather Team that went terribly wrong. I did catch a break there, having my Civil Service application already approved. Now, I haul mail, make ponies happy, and let my mind wander wherever it wants. And, of course, it usually wanders to my sweet Muffin, Dinky.”

“And Dad?” He regretted saying it the second it was out. She stiffened, her face tightening, as her head dropped.

“Dead,” she said flatly. She also didn’t elaborate, as she pulled herself away slightly. Her head was still down.

“So sorry... I’m densely thick, Derpy. Pay me no mind. I mean that,” he said earnestly. Still shoving a hoof into your mouth, Doctor, he thought. The tragedies this mare endured, still holding on wonderfully, and then you up and throw a camel upon the pony’s back. You should sleep outside for that, his mind told him. You don’t deserve her kindness.

“Listen, I could still trot on into Ponyville as punishment for being an idiot. I’m so sorry to cause your old hurts to come back and visit. I can be so foolish at times, asking silly questions. I’ll just get my coat and…”

“No.”

“I beg your pardon?” he asked, confused.

“I said no. You didn’t know, and you’re not being cruel. I know cruelty. You may be thick, or an idiot, or foalish. But not cruel. He’s gone. And I’m not him, nor are you. Stay.”

He nodded, too shocked to do or say anything else. Then it came to him, and he had to ask.

“What happened to all the equipment?”

She wiped her eyes, took a deep breath. “Apparently, Princess Celestia had backed the research with a grant from the Treasury’s Science budget. She kinda owned the gear, and I let them take it along with my schematics and research notes. I have some stuff here, but I haven’t looked at any of them hardly at all since that day; just too much disappointment anymore. It should have functioned flawlessly. The math was right, the engineering solid. And all it did was hum.”

“What was it supposed to do?”

She looked at him, a ghost of a smile trying to get back to its accustomed place on her face. “Jump backwards in time thirteen seconds and displace six feet to the left. Time and dimension shift consecutively. I would have stomped to death and left the bodies lying on the floor every preconceived notion everypony including Hoofsingberg and Shöddinger had about Time, Relativity, Dimensions, Quantum Mechanics, and Particle Physics. Everypony would have just freaked.”

“That would have won you an award,” he said frankly.

“Probably both the Stables in physics and engineering. I didn't care about that. But those postgrads, those faces were what I wanted to see. The pre-Batch showing up all those Masters and Doctorates. I would’ve felt just like Dinky every time she beats out Diamond Tiara at school.”

“Speaking of,” she said quietly, picking up the book lovingly, and putting it into its rightful place in the bookcase, “…time to see if my daughter is up to something; she’s been quiet a bit too long.”

“Derpy…thank you.”

“You’re welcome, ‘John’,” she laughed softly, as she left to find a purple Unicorn.

Once she was out of sight, ‘John’ scrubbed the back of his head with his hoof.

She actually tried it, he thought.

He thought about that book. One of the things he had was the eidetic memory most college ponies would have sacrificed a Sister of the Diarchy to have. Now that his brain had had a few moments to digest the information, he ran the pictures back in his mind, looking for flaws or errors in her concepts.

A bit of narrower spacing on the original standard deviations…the drift in the calculations probably was what drove her to start thinking about eliminating the errors…

“Why, the audacious, cheating little thing! Using magic to determine particles without disturbing them! Hoofsingsberg would have pulled all his teeth out to have known that! Aw, that’s just BRILLIANT!!”

Another chuckle. “And she designed the device to do it…WITHOUT her being a Unicorn! Theory alone!” He was awestruck inside. Derpy might have put every Unicorn on the planet using magic for very important things out of a job. Including those two Princesses.

He laughed like a lunatic. “And no pony else had either thought of Derpy’s little trick, or figured out how to make it work, I’ll bet my TARDIS! That toy of hers would have functioned, too, if she knew about the Rassilon Imprimateur and the briode nebulizer. Well, maybe; trachoid time crystals and Zeiton 7 aren’t just lying around, either. Wonder if she found ways round all that? I bet she did. I bet she found ways ‘round everything, the clever girl!”

“I’d give my Screwdriver to get a look at that thing of hers! Wonder if they have tours of Canterlot? Have to ask Luna, I suppose. If I get there, I’ll poke around a bit.”

“Poke around where?” Derpy asked as she walked back in.

“You are a very clever mare, you know that?” he said cheerfully, pointing a hoof at her.

She glanced behind her a beat, before looking back at him, a bit of trepidation on her face.

“Been thinking a bit on your ideas, luv. Your research and such? Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Your machine should have worked. Probably did work, actually. Maybe you missed a bit here or there, doubt it, by the way, but you could have fixed that. You can probably fix anything. Must be a Scot,” he raved on.

She stared at him, still hesitant to get any closer. Her nose wrinkled slightly.

“No. Just…no. You solved it, don’t think different. I’ve seen some of the best, and you're loads better, trust me."

She decided to placate him. “Maybe you’re right, ‘John’, but it’s all in the past. I love what I do now, it pays well, I get to see a lot of ponies, lots of friends, and I get the time to think. That’s all I need now, with Dinky here.”

‘John’s’ face fell. “But it’s not right,” he said quietly, as he sat down heavily.

“I know. But like I said, its life,” she said gently, brushing the top of his head and the spiky mane with a hoof. She sat down with a magazine on the other side of the room, smiling kindly.

He stared at her, as she flipped a page, started reading.

How do I help her? He thought to himself. She deserves to know she was right about it all along.

He cleared his throat. Derpy looked up, the adorable small smile still on her face.

“Um, I’m going to check my box out, if you don’t mind. Shan’t be long. I can help with the housework and dinner after, if you like,” he said calmly.

She smiled brighter. “Check your door phone, sweetie. Your circuit is open, but it doesn’t ring through. I tried it right after it dropped in.”

“Yeah. Have to see about that.” He rose up dejectedly, started for the door. He picked up his coat as he went through the kitchen, tossed it up on his back.

When he got to the doors, he fished the key out of his pocket and opened the door. Once inside, he closed it back up, and then decided to engage the deadbolt. He put his coat on the rail around the console and sat down, staring at the console and the time rotor.

“She’s too nice for bad things to happen to her like that...”

He tugged out the Screwdriver from another pocket to do some checks and minor repair. Another object came out, fell, a metallic clink sounding from the deckplate.

It was a key. A TARDIS key on a chain. A TARDIS key a pony could use. He picked it up, then sat down heavily, staring at it on his hoof.

“No. No, I can’t do that. She has a little girl. She’s too much a part of this place and time here. She can’t just drop everything and run off. It’s too much.”

He sat there for a long time, staring at it, his tinkering forgotten.

Chapter Four: The Battle in the Night

Dinky wandered into the living room, snuggled up to her mom. “Mommy, where’s Mister ‘John’?”

“Mister Smith, dear. ‘John’ is his first name. He’s working on his box in the backyard; why do you ask?”

“No reason. He’s very nice. Is he going to stay? I like him.” She snuggled closer.

“Just for tonight, Muffin. He seems to be a very busy pony. And I think he wants to meet your friend, Princess Luna.”

Dinky brightened up. “Oh, Luny likes to meet ponies! A lot of them are inimate…inmmit…”

“Intimidated, Muffin?” Derpy asked helpfully.

“Yeah, that. Scared of. They’re scared of her. She did things way back when, because everyone liked her sister better, but she changed when Twilight and her friends helped her. She tries so hard now to help everypony, and she’s sad when ponies get scared of her.” She settled back in her mom’s forelegs. “Princess Luny likes you a lot, Mom.”

Derpy was surprised. “Me, Muffin?”

“Yeah. She’s got admum…aderors…”

“Adoration, Dinky?”

“No, the other one…ad mi res,” Dinky said as she sounded it out, like her teacher taught her. “Yeah, admires, that’s the word. She admires you. She says if there was another Element of Harmony…” her little face screwed up, remembering. “…like Sincerity, or Hope, I think. If there was an Element like that, you would wear it. I’d be so proud, too.”

Derpy hugged the little filly tighter. She loved it when her little girl wanted to be close. Having an Element of Harmony would be nice…but Dinky hugs were better.

The Doctor halfheartedly fiddled with his contraption later as the quiet pressed in on him, running the Sonic Screwdriver here and there as he repaired, checked, bypassed, or jerry rigged the equipment. The old girl was still in good shape, but he still felt he let her down by not really re-tooling the more blatant affronts to her instrumentality. Seriously, that bicycle pump had to go…

Just for laughs, he had checked the angular momentum of both the sun and moon. And it made absolutely no sense. None.

The sun here did pretty much what most smallish main sequence yellow suns did. Normal, ordinary, humdrum. Plodding its way around its galaxy, bored to tears.

The moon…hadn’t attended any of the required lectures on Newtonian physics. Not a one. Especially the required reading on conservation of motion.

Neither had Equestria proper. They were little foals on swingsets. If somepony didn’t come by and give them a push every once in awhile, they would slow to a stop, dangling their feet.

Celestia didn’t raise or set the sun…she spun the world beneath it. Luna had an even more interesting job…his calculations showed the moon should fall out of the sky and crash into Equestria. End. Nothing else. But it didn’t.

Both mysteries were extremely fascinating. But he didn’t have the heart to pummel them until they made sense. Somepony else held his attention.

As he replaced the cable clamp back on its post for the umpteenth time, he contemplated the mare who apparently assembled a time machine similar to this out of the spotty junk and limited technology of this just past turn of the century era of hers. He got that they didn’t have ground vehicles like most cultures; they were transportation embodied. Who needs smog when you just tossed your bits and bobs into a cart and tugged it around yourself?

He stopped, thought about it for a bit. He was part, a small part, yeah, but a part of that culture now. And the one being in his current situation most like him was just yards away. Hiding in here was doing no good at all, anyway. He should be talking to her.

Staring for a moment, he came to a decision. He placed the circuitry in neutral, brought the systems down to idle. Time to do some of that talking.

“Be back here soon, luv. Have to see a mare about a horse,” he said, as he grabbed his coat, shrugged into it. He stuck the Screwdriver into the pocket, then walked up to the console, ran a loving hoof across the edge of it, then reverently picked up the key and chain that was sitting on it, and gently placed it around his own neck.

With a little luck, it wouldn’t stay there.

Derpy was well into preparing dinner, cutting up carrots and tearing leafy greens, as Dinky tugged her stepstool in place, washed her fore hooves, then tore around with her magic as she stepped back off, walked around a bit on her rears, snatching up various savories, herbs, spices, and pre-sliced vegetables Derpy prepared earlier with authority. She placed them down into various spots on the counter and near simmering pots, brought the radishes to Mom with a flourish, and then placed her stepstool precisely, as she climbed up on the step before her arranged symphony. Dinky’s apron boldly proclaimed, “I’m the Chef, that’s why!”, a treasured gift from BonBon. The conductor in place, the orchestra raised and readied their instruments as one, as Dinky lifted the baton…

Derpy smiled gently as Dinky led the soothing music of cooking, the ingredients swaying in time as she beckoned each section to contribute its part. Occasionally, Dinky would hold a particular herb in hoof, as she crushed it slightly between her hooves and sniffed the aroma, mostly nodding sagely to herself, or adding and subtracting an instrument if the smell was too light, or proved too heavy. Dinky’s horn glowed with authority as items combined in the composition, melody and harmony delicately balanced.

It was so much fun to watch the little filly exercise such amazing authority over something so pedestrian as ‘food’. Bonny loved working with her, showing her how to use her nose to get just the right balance, to make subtle strings or profound brass, to float woodwind, or keep the beat with drums and rhythm instruments. When they worked at it, teaching and learning, ‘cuisine’ was almost as inadequate a word as ‘food’. It was nourishment for the body, and sustenance for the spirit.

‘John’ walked in right in the middle of the performance, while Derpy was preparing an intricate floret from a radish, the tip of her tongue peeking out of her mouth. He started to say something, just as the incredible smell wafted over him.

Oh, dear, he thought to himself. That smells…wonderful!! He sniffed deeply, nostrils flaring, as he regarded the filly leading the music, just as his mouth began to water.

Something must be different about these two. One had been an experimental physicist just on the edge of an incredible discovery, and her daughter was a prodigy in cuisine. And would probably turn out to be exceptional in other ways as well. It was madness to allow Derpy to languish so.

Tomorrow, after Dinky left. Time for Mum to see the Truth she had glimmers of hope looking for.

He sat down, speechless, staring at the little one fixing a grand meal most Princesses would never be served.

As it watched, the Sun descended low to the horizon. Almost time…

Suddenly, the Sun dropped below the horizon as if pulled under. It broke loose of its camouflage as the entities around it were blinded for the moment by the dark. It managed to raise its appendages high enough to its receptors to help maintain its freedom, as it quickly but carefully moved.

There were fleeting moments of stoppage as the various entities began moving in the dark and encountered it, but none stayed and maintained the camouflage.

The tiny town it encountered proved hardly any trouble at all. Only one entity was stumbling about, inebriated, and she was headed home, not looking at or paying attention to it. For a fleeting moment, it thought of taking her, but the unusual energies were close by; the huge vortex, the smaller influence, and…the thing that had pushed it along to this place. It decided to wait, and left instead for the more isolated place where the two columns of energy waited, high upon a mountain.

Suddenly, it froze. The Moon around this world had suddenly leapt into the sky, scant seconds after the Sun had departed it. The creature had covered several miles in the interim, with its appendages tucked alongside its receptors. But the cooler light in the night made it easier to see. The cat that currently had it frozen into camouflage stared at it intensely, before rousing itself and entering a nearby shop with dresses in the windows. It took advantage of the moment, quickly moving for the mountain, and the castle on the side of it.

He pushed back from the table. “My word, that was marvelous! Simply marvelous! And that pie!”

“Thank you, sir,” Dinky said shyly. “I like frangipane and pear pie a lot, too.”

“Pears? Those were pears?” ‘John’ said incredulously.

“You poach them before with a little bit of something called ‘brandy’, not that wine they suggest, sir. Mom says it’s okay, ‘cause the silly stuff in brandy goes away in cooking. But it flavors fruit just perfect. Bonny showed me.”

“Pears…” ‘John’ looked at Derpy. “I like her pears. Don’t like anypony elses. She can make pears right,” he said, chuckling.

“Sorry, ‘John’, I forgot…” Derpy started to say, as ‘John’ held up a hoof.

“Quite all right. I almost talked myself out of a wonderful thing with that. Pears. Aw, that’s brilliant.”

Dinky smiled. She liked being called brilliant. Miss Cherilee said that about her, too.

“Auntie BonBon says I can make all sorts of things; she showed me how to smell food to cook it. It’s all in the smells, figuring out what smells go together. Then, it’s easy,” Dinky said, as the plates levitated from the table to the sink. She started to get up to get her stepstool.

“No, you don’t, clever girl. Your Mum and I will do those. You earned time off with that dinner, you did.”

“Really?” she squealed.

“I’d never lie to you, Dinky, you charming thing. You worked very hard on dinner. I saw you. You were doing two kinds of magic…the magic with your horn, and the magic with the food. I’m the guest, and I need to earn my keep, too.” He ruffled her mane.

“’John’, guests don’t earn their keep…” Derpy started to say.

“Rubbish. The two of you have been extraordinary hosts, bringing in a lost traveler and making him feel so at home. Need to get a bit of mine back. Dishes. Good a place to start as any.” He suddenly bolted upright, startling Dinky and Derpy, as he started toward the sink.

“Now, then…” He stared at the (to him) rudimentary arrangement of the sink glumly, and his mind locked. “Er, say, could you give me a hoof for a moment, Derpy?”

Derpy gave a knowing smile and a wink to Dinky, who giggled. “Coming, ‘John’.”

She came up behind, poked a head over his shoulder. “Trouble?” she asked.

He leaned towards her, whispering. “Welll…how do you do dishes?”

Derpy was surprised. Where did he grow up, not doing dishes? Even bachelors eventually had to wash something, when they ran out of barware for apple ales, cider, and such. How could you not know how to do dishes?

Derpy set it up, and then demonstrated, the wash sink with soap, how to rinse, the dip sanitizer, the clean water final rinse, and showed him the drain rack to air dry them.

“Ah, got it. Simple.” He dug in on the rest.

Derpy sat back down at the table, frowning. Dinky had to work very hard at stuffing down the giggling she had that was working to break free. Derpy looked at her firmly.

“Dinky,” she said softly, “…some ponies had others that lived with them to do things like this while they were growing up, and never learned how. Love and Tolerate.”

Dinky looked down, dismayed. “Yes, Mom.”

She gently lifted the little head back up with a hoof under her chin. “But it is kinda funny, Dinky.” Derpy smiled. Dinky brightened up, smiled back.

Derpy looked back at the chestnut pony washing dishes and muttering to himself on occasion. The frown came back.

It finally reached the castle, though there was a moment where the Guard thought somepony was on the train tracks. It moved off after the Guard turned to look for assistance, and when he turned back, it was gone. The Guard thought his eyes were playing tricks on him, and didn’t sound the alarm. It had managed to avoid any other observation until it reached the castle.

There was a garden nearby, with all sorts of statuary. If it could smile in anticipation, it would have. Statuary made a perfect place to hide. What’s one more statue amongst others?

It found an appropriate place amongst the others, and covered its eyes. It would now study the energy around it for a short time, as well as get an understanding of those it would soon use to feed itself. Perhaps the large vortexes close by would be plenty enough to Invoke others.

Later that evening, Dinky sat in front of the television, playing a game involving some odd pony with red coveralls jumping down pipes and bucking floating boxes in the sky, as Derpy took ‘John’ upstairs to the spare room.

“Bathroom’s just down the hall on the right. Sorry the room’s so utilitarian, I’ve been debating whether to keep it a bedroom, or use it for something else,” she said kindly.

“Just fine, Derpy, thank you,” he said, as they started down the stairs. “What are you going to use it for?” he asked.

“Haven’t found out yet,” she laughed warmly. “I can’t sew or crochet, and a machine shop wouldn’t fit, besides all the rewiring I’d have to do in there. And there’s no way I’d do any candle making inside the house.”

“Oh. Right.” He decided to drop it. “Is that one of those video games Dinky talked about?” he asked as they came off the stairs
into the living room.

“Yep. Mareio Sisters. There’s another character, Lyugi, which we tease Lyra about because she’s green, too.”

John watched a tad, his mind taking in the graphics and thinking about the computational power running it. It wasn’t all that much, but when he regarded just how quickly Equestria was moving technology wise, he goggled a bit.

They were moving into a new age very fast. He saw Derpy arranging herself in the reading nook with her magazine…and then saw the personal music player as she put the earbuds in her ears.

Amazing. It wasn’t just fast…they were moving at light speed technology wise. And suddenly, his hearts skipped a beat.

Some things in the universe only started paying attention to a world only after they reached a certain level of technology. Dread clutched at him. What if they had noticed, too? It wouldn’t just be bad…it was catastrophic.

“Derpy, mind if I turn in? Bit tired, long day. All right?”

She smiled sweetly at him. ”But of course, ‘John’. Good night. Luna should be by early tomorrow.” She waved a hoof kindly.

‘John’ climbed the stairs, settling himself in the bathroom and behind a locked door for a bit; as he sat down on the toilet lid, head in his forehooves as he thought.

The Princesses guarded this world. But even then, they had problems. There was that creature, Discord…Queen Chrysalis…some crusty, moldy King that had an empire of sorts up north, those things frequently popping out of the nearby Everfree forest that he had read about. Even the benevolent had their moments, like Nightmare Moon. The history book hadn’t any information how Nightmare Moon had changed back into Princess Luna, though the lurid byline on the cover of Derpy’s magazine proclaimed it boldly. Obviously she was no longer a threat; seeing how Derpy was allowing Dinky to go with the other children in Luna’s presence, in spite of his seeing a tiny bit of apprehension in her body language.

He was going to see about a visit to Canterlot, and a talk with the Princesses. Maybe he could help.

He pulled himself from his musings after Dinky had rapped on the door, asking nicely if she could use the bathroom to brush her teeth and get ready to go to bed. He was surprised; he’d been in there for almost an hour or more, by his reckoning. After making apologies to the little filly, he went in his room and shut the door.

Sleep was fitful, and filled with horrors. All he heard in his terrors was shouted words of “DELETE!” and “EXTERMINATE!” as the sweat broke free from him.

Derpy heard the stranger ‘John Smith’ toss and turn in his room from her own bed later that night, the nightmares he mumbled about quietly. Machines. Dangerous, deadly machines. Horrible creatures. They killed, no…murdered, murdered by the thousands. How he warned others about them, how he fought against them. No wonder he wanted the blue boxes for everypony. She also wondered where such things happened in Equestria; she moved news and information herself, and never once heard of such wanton destruction.

The sheer anguish of the pony hurt like a living thing, the pain he felt as events ran away from his hooves. Derpy started to cry silently as she felt his misery. “Princess of the Night,” she whispered to the dark.”…please hear my plea. Help the hurting pony under my roof. Take his nightmares away. Please, I beseech you…”

Somewhere far away in Canterlot castle, a dark blue pony with a flowing mane, a mark of a crescent moon upon a nebulosity of black upon her flank, felt the impassioned plea. It surprised her

Luna had always been the less thought of between the two of them. Celestia brought a great deal to Equestria; sunlight for crops, that cheery feeling at the start and end of a lovely day, those beautiful, though brief sunrises and sunsets. It was the loneliness that had twisted Luna’s spirit into the Nightmare, the isolation as she created loving, soft nights for ponies to sleep, to slumber away their weariness in anticipation of the next day, the jealousy of being invisible. They regarded her, certainly respected her, and most were very kind. It was only after her return, and the friendship of the children and the Equestrian Heroines, the loving acceptance of her sister, that she shook herself free from the emotions that bore the Nightmare. She sometimes felt the need of those that had bad dreams, and she took them away, to the gratitude of those that had borne them.

She turned, faced toward the feeling. This was different. Not just bad. The Nightmare was out there, the pain of frightening, suffocating, horrific terror. She knew this one, knew it all too well. And she felt a voice.

She was surprised it felt like Derpy. The mailmare never had bad dreams. No matter the mishaps or setbacks, she surmounted them with plucky determination and good humor. She never needed Luna to do anything more than give her the beautiful nights Derpy gazed at lovingly, watching the stars. That was enough for both of them.

But tonight…tonight, a plaintive wail of anguish was breaking free from the mare. Luna’s wings snapped open. So did the ones of the Nightwing Guard Threstral who was her personal bodyguard. Without a word, Luna took flight, speeding to the whirlpool of pain, the guard in close formation.

They both backwinged and landed at Derpy’s home, just in front on the road. Centuries of isolation had made Luna’s hearing extremely acute; the need of hearing the ponies on the world far below for something close to a kind of companionship had sharpened it. And was astounded to hear it wasn’t Derpy in the grip of the pain. It was another, a visitor. And she couldn’t feel anything from him, though she could certainly hear his torment.

“Lionheart, watch the road. Tell me if you see anything unusual. We are quite near Discord. Be on your guard.”

“Yes, my Princess,” said the newly minted Brevet Corporal of the Night Guard. He had earned his place with strength and bravery, and took his duty seriously. He crouched in anticipation against attack, the blades on his shoes sliding into readiness with the hiss of steel. Vigilant, he watched as his Princess assessed the situation.

Astonishing, she thought as she slowly walked a small circle, feeling out the disturbance. She could hear the stallion quite clearly, the horror of war in his whispered words. Equestria had not been at war like that in her entire substantial lifetime. There were skirmishes and conflict, some she had even stood against, especially the one before she had left…but nothing like this, in this scale. It shocked her. The stallion had been someplace that she never herself had experienced. And she only heard it, not felt it as was usual.

Derpy, however, was wide awake, and the cry had come from her, as she listened to the visitor in the next room. Her fright was quite evident as Luna rode wave after wave of despair for the stallion in the nearby room.

Luna girded herself for the coming battle. She warded Dinky’s room against the Nightmare and negative emotions, and then reassured the nearby Pegasus emotionally of her presence and her love. She felt the young mother relax, though she was still upset and emotionally fractured.

Softly, Luna began to sing. Very few ponies knew that Luna was an incredibly powerful mage in her own right; in some ways more powerful than Celestia herself. Celestia could easily focus her magic without aid, incantation and power bid into reality instantly, but dreams were different. They needed subtlety and charm to turn away from the Nightmare. And this one’s horror went deep into his psyche. As the song formed and the incantation circle invoked, she reached into the Nightmare…

And recoiled in terror.

What are you, stallion? she thought as images flashed in her mind. Things from beyond horror ran rampant, murdering with wild abandon. Flying metal boxes with…things inside, murdering and murdering all life before them that was not as they were. There were others…metal bipeds with weapons beyond her understanding, herding other bipeds to make more of themselves. Where the flying box things hated everything, the metal bipeds had felt nothing at all. And the odd lumpy ones…wanted to die while killing, in a perverted sense of valor and honor. Distorted things. Ghastly, horrible things. And a human biped that stood against them. The Oncoming Storm. The Predator. The One.

Names she knew, but stood for another.

She hurriedly reached back into the mind, turned the pain outward from the psyche. The wave crashed against her like an avalanche, trying to subsume her, to find and awaken her own Nightmare as the circle’s form and sigils started to shift. She fought valiantly against it, but it was terrifyingly powerful. Bit by bit, she felt herself slipping.

The power was lifting, twisting her in its horrifying grip.

“Well, fancy meeting you here,” came a cheeky voice inside her head.

She groaned under the effort…“Please…” she whispered in her pain.

“Of course, you lovely thing, you. Wasn’t ready for the dreams tonight, distracted, you see. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you had to endure that. I’ll take it from here,” the voice said, as the wave lifted almost instantly.

The distorted incantation circle vanished, as the relief Luna felt collapsed her to her knees. Lionheart saw it, stood in the breach between his Princess and whatever had exhausted her, though he didn’t have a clue what had caused it, nor what he was defending her from.

“Princess! Are you all right?” he asked loudly, just as Luna hushed him with a flash of her horn. She dropped the binding from his mouth as he calmed down. She radiated love and security toward the mare in the other bedroom, who was still badly frightened.

“We are fine, Guard. We were simply not prepared for the task at hand.” She stood up, getting her legs underneath her, managed to control the quaking they wanted to do. “Lionheart, this task is finished. We shall take a turn around Ponyville, walk the streets for the time being. You have performed well in this matter. We thank you.”

Lionheart retracted the fighting blades into his shoes, though his instincts told him he should not only keep them deployed, but look around for anything else he could use to defend his Princess. Large rocks. Sharp sticks. A crude club made from a branch. Anything and everything.
Those words gnawed at him. “…We were simply not prepared…” The Princess of Night, not prepared? He had watched her prepare himself! Whatever had her for those few seconds had undone one of the most powerful Alicorns on this planet, twisted her as though her power was a mere trifle, a plaything. He would obey his Princess, but he readied himself to step in within a flash, though such power would destroy him. In that moment, she might escape it…hopefully.

Lionheart and Luna walked the road toward the Golden Oak library tree of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Luna for the stress relief of the exercise, Lionheart to keep her safe. Once there, they flew on to the high balcony, to watch over the rest of the night together. She would have Spike send the message to Celestia for her coach and attendants after she lowered the moon in the morning, then she would gather the children. She resisted the temptation to return to Derpy’s immediately and see what had disturbed her so. The anguish and pain had lifted as the entity had said, and she needed the time to think.

Derpy has watched the battle from her room, peeking over the sill into the road, and watched as the Princess of the Night had challenged whatever had gripped ‘John’. She had observed, badly frightened, as whatever it was had lifted her into the air, the magic circle distorting, changing, becoming vile somehow, tried to twist and break her just before she fell to her knees in relief when it disappeared.

She felt the Alicorn radiate love and confidence that whatever just happened, it was gone, and she should take solace that it was over.

However, on her way to the bathroom after the startling battle, she noticed that the wardings on Dinky’s room remained, the deep blue glowing gently in the dark.

Derpy didn’t sleep the rest of the night.

Chapter Five: Revelation

As the morning drew close, Luna awakened Twilight Sparkle, who took the letter herself for Celestia, as Spike sleepily swayed in the middle of the large main room. Lionheart paced around the periphery, still worried for his Princess. Luna finally sat the concerned Nightwing Threstral down herself with a flick of her magic; the pacing was making her nervous. Now she understood why Cely had taken to dunking that one sergeant of hers. She then set him on post outside, by the door.

Spike did his part, the scroll disappearing in a flash of green dragonfire, as Twilight then packed him back off to bed. She took on the responsibility of serving Luna herself, preparing tea and a light breakfast as Luna stood on the balcony, her moon in front of her, waiting for the appointed time.

Twilight watched as the Princess of the Night suddenly leapt into the air, bringing her forelegs up over her head as she hovered a moment, then descended, as if she had caught the Moon midair and brought it down with her, as the Moon lowered under the horizon. Just as she was almost ready to land, the Sun rose to its starting point to travel the sky once again.

“I never get tired of seeing that,” Twilight Sparkle said with awe, as Luna walked back into the library. Twilight was amazed to see Luna leaving a trail of her shoes, her peytral; the breastplate she wore, and eventually her crown, as she stood in the middle of the floor and stretched tired, sore, and stressed muscles.

Twilight Sparkle’s eyes widened. “Your Majesty, should I…?”

Luna looked at her. “Twilight, my name is Luna. Or Luny, which is what the children call me.” She stretched again, her forelegs straight out in front, her hind ones supporting her, as a couple of noticeable pops sounded from her flexed back. She rolled onto the floor, legs straight up, as she tried to relax her back; they curled down into a more natural position as she worked the kinks out.

“Wow…what a night. I have absolutely no desire to go through that ever again.” Her horn glowed blue as she picked up her raiment, set the items down carefully near the table where breakfast waited. “Days like this, I wish there were pancakes.” She rolled back over, stood up, and then trotted over to breakfast.

“I could make some, Your Ma…Luny,” Twilight said, nonplussed. Luna waved a hoof dismissively.

“I have already pressed myself too much upon your hospitality, Twi. Thank you so much for your help this early morning. This is more than adequate. Is that Applejack’s Rainbow Zap Apple jelly I see?” Luna asked, digging in on the toast and jelly. Two bites later, she sighed contentedly. “Oh, marvelous. That hits the spot.”

Twilight Sparkle peered at the ancient Alicorn, who was now acting very much like one of her friends. In fact, Luna and Rarity acted very much alike, though Rarity wouldn’t have shed all her ensemble like that, being very conscious of decorum and rank. Watching Luna do it was disconcerting.

“Luna…what happened? You’re acting like one of my overstressed friends.” Twilight picked up a slice of toast as well, spreading some Zap Apple jelly herself on it first, as she sat down.

“I had some…entity, I suppose, in the grips of a Nightmare last night. An immensely strong, very bad one. One so powerful it should have burned me up when I confronted it. In fact, if the individual in question hadn’t taken the burden back, it would still be dark outside, and our current conversation would be very much different.”

She made another piece of toast and jelly.

“Different, how?”

“Different, as in you saying, ‘We need to get to the Tree of Harmony, before Nightmare Moon destroys all of us and Equestria!’” Luna said candidly, watching Twilight for her reaction.

Twilight froze in fear, her eyes wide in shock.

Luna, taking notice of it, nodded sagely. “Exactly. I’ve fought all sorts of things in dreams, Twi. Falling is a common one for Earth ponies. Drowning frightens most everypony. Tiny spaces so small one cannot breathe is common for Pegasi. All sorts of imaginary monsters from those in foal’s closets to giant crabs, for some reason. But this…”

“What was it?” Twilight asked.

Luna shuddered. “Monsters. Implacable monsters. Monsters so bad, they destroy everything. So powerful, they waged war across the stars.”

Twilight’s eyes widened even more than before.

“Twilight, there was something else, something too terrible to contemplate. It wasn’t a nightmare.”

Twilight just stared, terror starting to grow in her.

“It was a memory. This was no dream gone awry. It was real. It happened.”

Twilight’s forehooves flew to her mouth in shock as she gasped. Luna nodded again as she stirred her tea with her magic, a generous amount of sugar added to replace glucose she lost during that pitched battle in ‘John Smith’s’ mind.

“Derpy Doo has a guest at her place, Twi. He’s the one who had the Nightmare. He’s the one who saw all this firsthoof. I can’t explain it.”

“When has Equestria ever had war like this? Even the Tribes amid the Windigoes have never fought like that.” Twilight asked fearfully.

“It wasn’t ponies, Twi. That’s why I came here first, rather than see Celestia. They were your humans, the ones from beyond, through the Magic Mirror. Humans, and some other creatures, races, in this conflict that burned across the stars.”

Twilight’s mouth fell open in shock.

“Twilight, I need to know. It’s very important. Could your humans that you met after passing through the Magic Mirror do something like this?”

Twilight took a second, then shook her head. “Luna, they couldn’t have been involved in starting it. They don’t have the ability. They have amazing technology, all sorts of amazing things. But I don’t believe they have the capability to travel the stars like that. There was all sorts of silliness going on there. That ‘High School’ thing was just so irritating and foalish, I could’ve bucked the walls. I don’t believe they would start such a thing.” She took a deep breath, then continued. “But they could have been drawn into it.”

It was Luna’s turn to stare. “Drawn?”

“Forced, coerced, lied to, manipulated, tricked, even embarrassed into such a thing. Humans don’t have a whole lot of sense, Luna. They may have even been correct to ally with a side in it.” Twilight stared at her tea. “Luna…was he pony, or human? Could you tell?”

“No.” She finished her tea. “But, I’ll soon have another look at him, not his mind. Then, I might learn something.” She heard the coach approaching, the Nightwing flight team beginning to descend, by the sound of their wings. She started putting her raiment back on, finishing the crown just as there was a knock on the door.

“Princess Twilight Sparkle, I need you to come and run interference for me while I speak with Derpy Doo. Herd the children while I ask some questions. And, you should expect some message from me afterward today. I have to talk to Princess Celestia, see about what might happen to the Tree if we need the Elements again. You should spend the day with the Equestrian Heroines. Things may require your assistance.”

“As you require, your Majesty,” Twilight answered, once more the subordinate. She was quite startled, then, when Princess Luna, the Benevolent Princess of the Night, hugged her warmly

“Cely was right. You are somepony very special, faithful one. Thank you for your wise counsel. And now, rouse your assistant once more. We must be off,” she said, smiling brightly.

“At once, Majesty,” she said, walking to Spike’s basket, as Princess Luna opened the door.

“Thank you, Lionheart. Princess Twilight Sparkle shall accompany us for a bit, before she sees to her own tasks. See to the needs of the Nightwing team for now. If you can, provide them; and should you require assistance, speak with Spike. We wish to be away within the next thirty minutes.”

“At once, Majesty,” Lionheart said. Twilight smiled at hearing that.

Spike and Lionheart offered water and bathroom breaks for the team, and a few even accepted. They decided to a Threstral to wait until returning to Canterlot for food, though, not wanting to be burdened further with the weight of it.

Twilight marveled at the shaded goggles they now wore as the Sun rose higher. Even Lionheart had donned his pair. Bright light must be hard on their eyes, she reasoned. Somehow, the glasses made the Threstrals appear even more exotic and dangerous.

Must be the subject that they had just been talking about.

Twilight and Luna talked quietly as they rode first to Rarity’s boutique to collect Sweetie Belle. The two of them kept up appearances, making “small talk” on the way, though the distance to Rarity’s home barely covered a scant hoof full of sentences. Once there, Luna talked with Sweetie Belle for a few minutes as Rarity’s magic loaded Sweetie Belle’s saddlebags into the trunk. Twilight took the opportunity to talk to Rarity.

“Rarity, I need a favor.”

“But of course, darling! Anything I can do for you at this ghastly hour?” Rarity said, trying to make light of the early time. Twilight chuckled inwardly, realizing Rarity had probably been up a couple of hours already, making sure she was in proper form to greet one of the Diarchy, even if it was just to put her sister on the coach.

Twilight decided on the direct approach. “Rarity, Princess Luna would like us to keep close to one another for today. Can you get word to the others,” Twilight asked, putting just the right emphasis on others, “…and get everypony together?”

“I would have to have Pinkie and Fluttershy get Applejack and Rainbow Dash, respectively. Where should we meet?”

“At the Library, first. Could you all help each other, if any of you have important work you need done today? You’ll need to bring Spike along just in case, too. I’ll be back as soon as I can. I have a detail of my own I have to complete first.”

“Certainly, my dear. What should I say to everypony?” she asked inquiringly. Rarity loved to know things. She wasn’t a gossip; well, not very much of one, but she was inquisitive.

“Trouble.” Twilight boarded the coach. Rarity stared a bit, before a tug of her tail by Sweetie Belle interrupted her. They kissed and hugged, then the coach was off, sticking to the ground as before.

Rarity watched them leave. Shaking herself, she trotted toward Sugarcube Corner to get Pinkie Pie. Twilight was not happy. Ergo, she wanted her friends nearby. That did mean trouble.

Rarity touched her neck where her Element of Harmony once was. She hoped it wasn’t that sort of trouble. She felt positively naked without hers nowadays, and it was very uncomfortable when Ponyville’s most famous fashionista felt naked. Very, very uncomfortable indeed.

Luna kept up the small talk, especially with one of the Cutie Mark Crusaders now listening in between watching the scenery from a royal coach, and exploring the appointments in it. Twilight could almost watch the tiny wheels inside Sweetie Belle’s head as she renewed the single-minded pursuit for a cutie mark caper the CMC’s could participate in. Whether Luna or Celestia would indulge it remained to be seen.

Luna explained that when the video game craze hit, she jumped in with all four hooves, as it were, not having all that much to do at times. That led to her becoming very accomplished at them. At the beginning, she hosted local area network parties here and there, but as various locations began to install high-speed ‘interwebz’, she said, her gaming was increasingly online, with mostly anonymous players. But once the kids figured out who “BestestPony247” was, they gravitated to her, and the joy Luna got from it just helped her blossom.

It was so different for her now, she told the purple Alicorn. Celestia did everything she could for everypony. Luna actually had it better. She was the one that helped on a personal level.

Twilight smiled and nodded emphatically. In most ways, it was like that with her and her friends. All of those disparate personalities. Yet, put them together, and they became unstoppable.

They shortly came upon a beautiful house, where two ponies waited. One was the intended of the group, a dark brown colt with a colorful propeller beanie, his head buried in some kind of hoof-held game as usual. The other was his fawn palomino-colored mom, Elaina, the drop-dead gorgeous mare married to Monster, a voice actor for Neightendo and Button’s father, though he spent a lot of time away working. Music was heard coming from the basement. That meant Button's brother Gibson was also home, practicing with his band.

They put Button’s saddlebag in the trunk as he kissed his mom, then hopped up into the coach. The entire time, he hardly looked up from the screen he was watching intently, tapping away at the buttons on it. Sweetie Belle’s head joined his shortly. Thus engrossed, the world dropped away as they watched the electronic escapades of some pony wanting to “Catch Them All”…

Twilight envied that mare with the ring on her tail…the one that proudly proclaimed she found someone to love enough to share her life with. Of the rarified groups she found herself included in, only one wore such a ring. She was one of her best friends, and she was married to her brother, way far away in the Crystal Empire. Twilight idly wondered if she would find somepony like that for her.

There were more friends that they played games with going. At the Apple Family farm, Apple Bloom and Scootaloo joined up with them next. As Applejack put their saddlebags and things in the trunk, such as Scootaloo’s scooter, she took Twilight aside for a moment, letting her know the friends were going to the library to ‘visit’, along with Spike, and they all could be reached there. Twilight nodded.

Finally, the coach turned toward the last stop before Canterlot, and the one both adults in the coach had been dreading, and preparing for.

Derpy-Doo’s house, Dinky’s home, and something strange.

To save time, Luna ordered the coach riders to put the safety belts on, and then gave out with a pert whistle. Immediately, the Nightwing Threstrals bent wing, and in a couple of beats, they were airborne.

The Unicorns and Earth pony fillies had managed to grab most of the window seats. Even Scootaloo had managed one. The one empty seat sat forlornly empty, as Button had stayed exactly where he had sat once he got on, still working the controls of his game, while the girls cooed and giggled as the scene outside rushed by the windows, the ground now far away. Scootaloo stared in rapt attention. Twilight hoped she would soon get strong enough to fly. Maybe Snowflake could help her learn, if he could stop lifting weights and showing off long enough; he certainly was the better flyer, having worked out with the Wonderbolts. His twin brother Bulk was training with the Ponyville team for the Equestria Games, and thus unavailable.

In moments, the coach has leveled out on approach to the house, and then touched down with a gentle bump. The Nightwing Threstral team immediately started to backwing and canter to a walk, braking them gently to a stop right in front of the house. Twilight admired the precise skill they had demonstrated in that; it was Wonderbolt accurate. Of course they pulled a Princess, and would take great pains to do it with snap. Spitfire may be the Wonderbolt team leader, but there were others equally as good. And even one better; a cyan colored one with a rainbow-colored mane and tail, and intense magenta eyes. Twilight grinned.

Derpy and Dinky came out, her saddlebag neatly packed for the overnight. Rather than have an adult help her, Dinky levitated the bag into the trunk herself proudly. She then came around where Princess Luna had disembarked for a moment, as Derpy and Twilight talked.

Twilight noticed Derpy was looking a bit haggard, as her golden eyes flitted first to Luna, then the open doorway, then to Twilight, then back to Luna. Princess Luna stood before her, and before Derpy could think of a curtsey or bow, Luna hugged her hard.

Derpy’s eyes whirled in amazement. Luna released her, looked deep into those gently twirling gamboge ponds with just a hint of apple green. “We heard you last night, my little pony. Many call for help in bad dreams. Very rarely, We hear a call from one pony to help somepony else. That is special, when somepony beseeches help for another.” She touched Derpy’s cheek with a hoof kindly.

She kissed the grey mare on the forehead, as everyone gasped, including a bodyguard named Lionheart.

“Hullo.”

They all whirled around to stare at the strange chestnut colored pony with the shock of spiky brown mane.

Twilight Sparkle took in the details of the handsome pony, the odd coat, the white collar and green tie, the flash of an hourglass cutie mark. Dinky took that to be her cue.

“Princess Luny, um, Luna, everypony, I would like to introduce Doctor Mister ‘John Smith’. From,” she concentrated hard, then smiled. “…Croupwich. Mister Doctor ‘John Smith’, these are my friends, Princess Luna, Princess Twilight Sparkle, the Crusaders Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle. And the silly colt still inside the coach is Button Mash. I’ll try to fix his manners later.”

Dinky positively beamed! Diamond Tiara was going to completely scream in rage when she popped this on Miss Cherilee! That gold star was in the saddlebag!

‘John’ nodded at everyone, and then spoke directly to Luna quietly and respectfully. “I’m very glad to meet you, Princess. Not too many try to step in and help me on a whim. More my suit, really. Hope I helped there. Thanks, much.”

Twilight immediately thought of that unusual word. “Cheeky”. ‘John Smith’ didn’t bow, as was customary for ponies all over Equestria to do. But somehow, she got an impression of sincere thanks, as well as a hint of equals, talking back and forth over the usual things going on about them. Like she and Luna had been doing.

She snuck a look at Luna. And stared in shock.

Luna had suddenly lost some color, the usual midnight blue of her coat ashen and flat, as her face showed total shock. Even ‘John’ felt it.

“Sorry…did I do something thick? I do that, you know. Derpy, have I done a thing? Not the good thing, right? Maybe a silly thing? I’d not like to do a bad thing to the lovely Princess that helps. Friends are rare in the world. Like to keep as many as I can.”

Luna ground back into gear first. “No, stranger, thou hath not offended us. We pray thee to pay it no mind. We were simply taken aback by thy presence here.”

Twilight’s head now oscillated between the cheeky stallion, and The Princess of the Night Sky, who was using forms and diction of Old Equestrian unheard on the planet nowadays. Sure, she still employed them teasingly, Nightmare Night being the one uppermost in her mind, but never in normal conversations. Given the situation, and the apparent stress, Twilight calculated that her lapse was from shock, and she had retreated back into a familiar behavior pattern for reassurance. She decided to leap in and brave the roiling water.

“Doctor ‘Smith’, I’m Twilight Sparkle. I run the Golden Oak Library in Ponyville.”

‘John Smith’ knew a lifeline when he saw one. He grabbed it deftly, and hung on for dear life.

“Oi! A library, you say? I adore libraries! Nothing says civilization better than the smell of books. Is it a big one? I love big ones!” His smile gained wattage as he rambled on.

Twilight wrinkled her nose a bit. Suddenly, she had an impression of her, rambling on endlessly about books, as she and her friends set out on some adventure or another.

So that’s what I sound like, she thought to herself. No wonder Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes the way she did when she prattled on about any books not authored by J.K. Yearling. It was taking enormous concentration on her part to keep from doing it herself.

Luna got there first, though. This was something Celestia needed to know, as quickly as possible.

The Doctor was in Ponyville.

“Princess Twilight, we ask a boonfavor of thee. Please escort The Doctor,” (‘John’s’ ears flicked forward when he heard that. She knew who he was.) “…to thine grand library, escorted by the intrepid mare Miss Doo, and see to his comfort. We shall go on ahead with the wee ones and speak with our Sister. Watch for our fastest cab later in the day to bring the three of you to Canterlot. Will thine friends be with thee at thy home?”

Twilight suppressed an irrational urge to say, ‘aye’, forced herself to remain rooted in the now. “Yes, Majesty. My friends and my Assistant are gathering at my home. Would you please ask your Sister to send word to my Assistant to remain there with my friends? I’m very sure they would like to meet Doctor ‘Smith’.”

“Verily, We shall do as thou asketh. Children, surmount the coach, and employ the belts. We shall be travelling swiftly.” She quickly herded the children onto the coach, and made sure they were properly buckled in. As she did so, she leaned toward her personal guard.

“Lionheart, your Princess has work for thee,” she whispered. “Accompany the party to the library. Do not either threaten or treat incorrectly the chestnut stallion, but watch him carefully. His presence is an omen, but one of good or ill, We do not know, and cannot say. We must consult with Celestia forthwith, and We have no time to waste!”

“I understand, Majesty. Why does the stallion upset you?” he asked.

“One of his many names frightens Us. He is known as the Oncoming Storm for very good reasons. Sterte, We must be off!” She shut the door to the coach as she shrilly whistled. The Nightwing team blasted out of there in one massive cloud of dust and wind, streaking directly for Canterlot with all due speed.

‘John’ coughed delicately in the dust.

“Well…that was…unexpected.” He looked at the grey Pegasus mare helplessly. “I mucked it up, didn’t I? I’m just SO thick at times…” he said, walking into the front yard and sitting down heavily.

Derpy walked up and sat down in front of him. “Tie,” she said.

“What? I beg your pardon?”

“Tie, silly boy. Fix your tie.”

“MY tie? Why would I need a drink now? This isn’t celebration, it’s a disaster!”

Derpy clucked her tongue, started re-tying ‘John’s’ tie, her tongue’s tip slipping out of her mouth as she concentrated. Just as he started to wind up again, she gently laid her right hoof against his lips.

“Shhhh. I have to concentrate. Let me finish, and then you can start over. Okay?”

‘John’s’ eyes bulged with effort, and his own concentration watching her. She ignored it, as she worked the cloth strip into a knot. With a triumphant flourish, she worked the knot back into its proper place, smiling as she did so.

“Perfect.”

‘John’s’ eyes continued to bulge, as he watched the blond tail of one Derpy Doo stand up and swish into the house. He wanted to say something, but for some inexplicable reason, his tongue was as tied as his tie.

Derpy radiated cuteness like a defensive energy field, invariably bollixing up ponies around her at times. There was a debate ongoing in Ponyville as to which of the two of them, Derpy or Twilight Sparkle, actually personified the term ‘adorkable’. Twilight was currently winning, but only by three votes.

And for a creature well known for his frequent rashness to leap before he even knew that he might consider the possibly of needing to look at all; ‘John’ sat quietly in her front yard, frozen in place by it. Twilight and Lionheart had watched the interplay; Twilight with curious interest, Lionheart dispassionately. Both were amazed that the chestnut pony could be so easily diverted by the grey Pegasus.

She reappeared a moment later, her own saddle bag in place, as she locked the door and put away her key in the bag, along with a card she had removed from her mane. His brain was still in neutral, until she came up and put a foreleg against her barrel as she stared at him.

“Planning to come, ‘John’, or would you rather just sit there? It is your invitation she gave you.”

“Oh. OI!” he said, clambering to his feet. “Definitely thick day today. Like custard between the ears. My apologies, ladies.” He started walking as he turned slightly toward the Threstral trailing just behind him. “And to you also, good sir!”

Derpy fell in alongside the Mad Pony with the fawn trench coat, as the Purple Princess Alicorn with the books moved to the front. The Nightwing Threstral stayed in his position behind the formation as they walked down the road.

“Now, this feels familiar!” he said to nopony in particular as they walked.

“Why is that, ‘John’?” Derpy asked.

“Been here before many times. The clever one in front. The friend alongside. And the gruff guard in the back, usually prodding with some kind of weapon, most days.” He grinned like a maniacal pony. “Just where I wanted them!”

Derpy smiled. This felt much more real. The pony with the call box in transit when it fell off the wagon never really felt right to her. This one was much more the right one. Somehow, it just felt right.

Chapter Six: Changes

The coach covered the distance from Derpy’s home to Canterlot quickly. As it entered the approach vector for the Royal Courtyard, a Pegasus of the EUP flight wing, in her sky blue tight flightsuit, was flying an imaginary racetrack just above Canterlot. She dropped out and quickly closed up on the right side for a moment to get a good look at the vehicle. Her arrow launcher was still in ‘safe’ mode, though she had a foreleg near the switch. She noted the coach, the Nightwing Threstral team pulling it, and a flash of midnight blue inside. Nodding to herself as she ran the “expected arrival” list in her head, she broke formation and accelerated, no mean feat with the swiftly moving coach, taking her hoof away from the arming switch of the magical arrow launcher. Approaching the tower over the courtyard, she flashed a light signal; green, green, blue, then Spitfire broke and pulled high and away right to get back on her station’s racetrack, the countershaded cyan toned white underside of her suit now showing a bit since she wasn’t facing down in level flight. The two guards in the tower removed their hooves from the alert alarms and the concealed spear launchers in the overseeing walls, checked the roadway approach to make sure it wasn’t fouled, and lit the ‘clear to land’ light, a steady green, which the lead Nightwing Threstral pony on the coach picked up on.

Suddenly, the coach and team dived downward toward the courtyard. Although the Pegasus and Alicorn were comfortable with the sudden G change, the lightening of their bodies and the tightening straps startled the Unicorn and the Earth ponies. Button Mash even snapped his head up, a definite ‘Huh?’ on his face.

They closed rapidly on the approach road, only the leading Nightwings still beating wings for thrust; the next three pair were in glide, the coach closing fast. Just as the coach touched, the lead pair went to glide, as the next two backwinged HARD. The fourth pair turned their wings as flat against the airstream as they could, becoming airbrakes. The first pair continued to steer and maintain directional control as the coach decelerated like someone threw out an anchor. Once most of the high velocity was shed, they all furled up their wings, cantering to a stop exactly on the disembark point.

Scootaloo’s eyes were wide, tremendously impressed. Unfortunately, everyone else in the coach, save one, was having a hard time letting go of the now aptly named ‘chicken bars’.

Luna had already released her belt as the coach dropped below the usual ground velocity the team provided. Once it had stopped, she was already out the door, even before the Hoofpony had placed the step, with a wingbeat and a small drop. The Steward had barely enough time to duck his head slightly in respect before she was upon him.

“Steward, thou shalt take charge of the children. Escort them to their rooms and provide for their comforts. We will see them again shortly after We hath spoke with Our Sister. Prepare my cab and bid Our fastest dayflyers to ready themselves.” She cantered down the path to the castle door.

The Steward watched, amazed, as she left. He was suddenly aware of a small retching noise behind him. Turning, he saw the small Earth pony colt rejecting his breakfast. He decided to take pity on the boy.

“Here, Master Mash; one should not travel in a flying coach with one’s head down. The motions can make one nauseated.” He levitated a kerchief to Sweetie Bell, who mopped the cold flop sweat off the colt’s face. “Fortunately, the Infirmary is on the way, and we can procure a potion to treat that.” He beckoned to a Hoofmaiden. “Ask the Groundskeeper to please attend to the unfortunate results immediately, and have a Bellpony bring the luggage cart to unload the coach.” He swept around to the team lead Nightwing. “You may remove Her Majesty’s coach to the coach house right after we unload, and please, attend to your needs and those of your team afterward. Thank You. Dismissed.”

The Steward rounded up his charges with military precision, like the former Royal Guard Sergeant Major he was upon retirement.

“Ladyfillies and gentlecolt, I ask that you stay in attendance with me until we show you your rooms. Understand, Our Majesties are quite busy at times, and brook no nonsense. The dungeons are not often used anymore, but they are available.” Everypony looked at him uneasily with that statement.

“You will be given a short time to rest, and I expect you will probably need it, Master Mash, so please, avail yourselves of it. Princess Luna has asked that I give you the appropriate tour of the Castle and Grounds, though I believe the Young Cutie Mark Crusaders have been, already. Therefore, we shall embark on one of greater depth, so that you may learn even more. Master Mash, I will take possession of your device for the time being, sir. I have already procured Squires for each of you for your time here. The Bellpony has now completed loading your luggage, and we shall begin immediately. Please follow the Squires. I shall be following close behind to answer questions.”

The party started off to their rooms, as the team pulled the coach away. Dinky stared with wonder at the castle; her first time here. Button also was on his first visit, but he was still a bit green and not paying close attention; Sweetie Belle walked alongside him with the kerchief, a concerned look on her face. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were busy in animated discussions. Sar-Major Lance watched the two with a jaundiced eye; decades of watching soldiers’ trying to be clever was very useful for watching three girls well known for their escapades in trying to discover their Cutie Marks…

Luna authoritatively strode into the throne room unannounced, the Herald trailing helplessly in her wake. Celestia was busily digging through the Zebabwe treaty, sipping a cup of tea, as the Secretariat of State looked on nervously, a glassy smile on her face. Celestia, the Secretariat, and all four Royal Guards looked up as she entered.

“Luna! How are you?” Celestia asked, smiling warmly. “You’ve come back fairly quickly. Are the children all right? I didn’t expect you for another hour or so.”

Luna glanced at the Courtesan and the Guard. “Sister, We entreat thee, to speak with thee in thy apartments. We hath news for thee not to be shared amongst open ears.”

Celestia’s eyes widened. The unpleasantness with Nightmare Moon was still fairly recent, but Luna had made tremendous strides in becoming more modern and emotionally centered, though she still lapsed into Old Equestrian on occasion, usually in practical jokes, or when failing to remember to modulate calmly, usually while speaking in the Royal Canterlot Voice. Or when very nervous.

She rarely got rattled anymore. But she was distressingly rattled now. Celestia took it in hoof.

“Secretariat, Guards, We will be back in a moment. Avail yourselves in the meantime for refreshment and necessities. Sergeant, rotate the watch so that your fellow soldiers may partake. Understood?”

Depending on how green the watch was, sometimes it took a distinct push with her horn to get her soldiers to take any break offered, being well-drilled in duty, decorum, and such. But the current Watch Duty Senior NCO was an old hand, having been dunked several times over in the lovely dais fountain for not obeying the Guardian of the Sun, by the Guardian of the Sun herself, though Celestia never told his commanding officer. He bowed low.

“At once, your Majesties,” as he smiled slightly, remembering the very cold water. As Celestia and Luna retreated to the apartment, the sergeant raised a hoof and pointed to one subordinate. “You…yeah you, foal. Unglue you eyes from there, lest I proceed to kick your dock off this mountain for staring at the Kind Princess of the Night’s backside like that. Grab Flash Sentry, and hit the latrine and then the canteen. I expect you both back here in fifteen minutes ready to relieve the rest of the watch for their turn…”

Celestia led Luna to their abode in the castle, opening the door with her horn, then closing it behind them. Celestia stretched catlike, the Royal Firmament decidedly not demurely presented, should anypony decide to take a chance on a protracted lunar tour and open the door right then, as she reached along the floor with her forelegs.

“Oh, Luny, thank you for coming in and getting me out of that chair for a bit! And why I had that throne dais designed with operating waterfalls, I’ll never understand. They look beautiful, but after several cups of tea…” She stretched the other way, her front end raised, rear legs stretched behind. “That mare can drone on for HOURS about that treaty. You’d think we never talked to the Zebras, the way she wants to…”

Celestia suddenly stood stock still, staring at her agitated younger sister. “Luny…?” she asked, suddenly apprehensive.

“Thy Time Charger. He is here. In Ponyville.”

Celestia continued to stare, all playfulness gone. “Where?” she asked, all business.

“At the home of Derpy and Dinky Doo, Sister,” Luna said calmly, though inside, she was all jangly nerves.

“Describe him to me,” Celestia ordered, appearing even calmer, though inside, she wasn’t much better than Luna.

“I hath…” began Luna.

“Stop, Luna. Calm yourself. Remember how we speak now, rather than you getting all frazzled on verb and pronoun usage. Just tell me, calmly,” Celestia said.

Luna took a deep breath, pushing it out in a long sigh, cheeks puffing out. “Cely…it must be him. The appearance…it was the same, item by item. The coat, the long colorful tie, the collar. His dark brown spiked mane, the colors of his coat and his eyes, the Cutie Mark. All were there.”

“Did he recognize you?”

“No, Sister. He didn’t give the agreed-to sign, either. We bespoke…” she swallowed, rephrased “…talked briefly, but he certainly didn’t act like we’ve met before.”

“He can be a devious one, but I would think he wouldn’t bother in our encounters. This one may be one of those out of sequence occurrences of his that occur. It may even be the first.” Celestia rubbed her head with a forehoof.

“These temporal things always give me migraines, Luny. Do you really think it’s his first time right now?”

“It is eminently probable, Cely. I thought the first was the day we battled Discord for dominion over the planet. I couldn’t believe some insane pony was floating by in that blue box of his, taking “physical-gravimetric readings”, while we were going into a pitched battle with the Demigod of Chaos. Total insanity!”

“I remember...”

“Cely…he had a Nightmare last night, though at the time I did not know it was him. I went to him, along with my bodyguard Lionheart. As I came into his Nightmare to abate it, it reached out and tried to destroy me. It sought out my Nightmare to turn her loose on all of you once again. Such terrible things I saw in his sleep, and what appeared to be a biped opposing them…” she shuddered violently. Finding her voice again, she went on. “The only reason I have for not being exiled once more, or worse, is he somehow intervened, which stopped the evocation as he took his pain back and shouldered it alone. For that, I am eternally grateful. But if what he remembers is true, and I have no doubt it is so, we have an even greater problem to deal with. We are ill prepared to even resist a war that flames amongst the stars, much less undertake and fight one. If the Elements are even available without harming the Tree.”

“Your opinion of any other event that stands out for you?”

“Yes. Well, once I…returned,” she said delicately, with a slight cough “...I was surprised he showed up in our rooms with both of us there, carrying that silly cake, with the slightly squished icing that might have said, ‘Wecome Home, Woony!’ at one time, though it had gotten knocked about a bit. That fanciful tale about the Equestrian Heroines needing rescue from some obscure creatures bent on turning them into plastic dress forms or something in Rarity’s Carousel Boutique, while they were in Twilight Sparkle’s home…and how we agreed he’d let us know if he remembered us with that ridiculous salute with his right forehoof. That event by its nature wasn’t the first; the cake…”

“Demonstrated familiarity. I agree.” Celestia stared at the patterns in the sculpted carpet, thinking.

“There was also the thing he asked us for right after Discord,” Celestia said, finally, “…if a mare named Derpy Doo came to Canterlot University on a physics term of study, please give her support for any project she was involved in, but take possession of her equipment and research should she leave, for safety’s sake. And make sure it was isolated. Such an unusual request.”

“The Windigoes observation blind certainly is isolated, Cely. I never understood why you had that made. Nopony goes up there. The stairs up are long, narrow, and frequently iced up and treacherous, the winds very high and unpredictable. The hide itself is fairly flat and well supported by stone in the base…almost like a landing pad…”

Celestia smiled knowingly. “Exactly how I had it built.”

“In expectation, Sister?”

“Of course,” Celestia said calmly.

“And the Time Charger?”

“Perhaps it is time to re-establish our long standing relationship for the first time.” The Blessed Beneficent Light of Equestria sighed calmly. “To where should we ask him to come?”

“Not the outer courtyard; too many about there. The inner is more private and better secured, but still under perusal by the staff too frequently. And the throne room spot,” Luna thought about the slightly darker floor tiles along one wall, the outline of which carefully followed the external dimensions of the TARDIS footprint, and kept clear at all times, “…is only for a quick stop, with all the business conducted in there. That leaves both of our apartments, the basement storage cellar, and Alcove Six in the Palace Labyrinth.”

Celestia gave a brief glance at her mane, which was flowing its usual selection of pastel colors, not that lavender that showed up ‘when she was in the mood’. She sighed, and eliminated both sets of apartments. “Well, I certainly won’t shock that stallion by having him pop into our bedrooms. And the cellar is more for him to remain clandestine.” That particular room had been warded and enchanted to reduce its imprint on reality, a sort of bolt-hole for The Doctor and the Princesses in case something inimical was wandering about. That left…

“Alcove Six, then, as usual.” Celestia led them from the apartments after visiting the bathroom. Flying up to the dais and calling forth pen and parchment-like paper from the scribe desk with her aura, Celestia began copying the symbols The Doctor had left behind after Discord; precise location mapping for that particular spot. The writing and strange circular patterns were indecipherable to her, despite many attempts over the past centuries she had endeavored to understand them. All seven had been carefully laid out and engraved into the floor precisely on the top level floor of the throne dais, alongside some others, cleverly hidden in plain view around the Equestrian Throne, a lovely, unusual pattern of coordinates only a Time Charger could understand.

Luna jumped slightly. “What about…?” she said ardently.

“If it is, we shall know soon enough, correct? Best not to dwell upon that until the proper conditions are established,” Celestia said, as she penned the message.

“True. Celestia, you will have to send further word through Twilight’s Assistant Spike for them to remain with the Equestrian Heroines at the Golden Oak Library as well. I will send my cab to gather them from there.”

“The moment I finish this task, Sister, though if you could write the letter yourself, it would speed the process considerably,” Celestia mused. Luna also brought forth writing materials and started to write with her aura as well. After the letter, she also cut orders for the Guard Pegasi pulling the cab, to be delivered by messenger.

“I SO wanted to move that labyrinth out,” Luna said, peevishly. “Every creature on this planet knows the route through it by now. I even found it online. A lovely badminton court, pickleball, tennis singles or doubles. And all that room left over…” Badminton was so much fun, she thought to herself!

“We’ll re-arrange the statuary in the garden, dear Sister, and you can put one there, and marked for all the games. At least you got over that beach volleyball phase you had,” Celestia said, smiling sagely as she teleported both the letters and the symbol-covered paper she had rolled into a scroll, using a good approximation of the green dragonfire Spike used; a spell she found very useful.

Luna hung her head, embarrassed. “Its loads of fun, Cely…but that sand gets everywhere. I didn’t realize it could be so…intimate…”

The chafing had proved to be intolerable.

The little party crested the last hill, and ‘John’ got his first look at Ponyville. In the valley below, a quaint village nestled, the English architecture repeated there, though a few buildings were obviously different. Like the windmill. Very much Dutch. A Victorian Town Hall. Some Bavarian Alpy bakery. A miniature clock tower more in line with Westminster. A boutique that looked like…French, maybe?

Somehow, the styling worked, though he hadn’t a clue how. Most things like that would clash horribly. They worked together here.

His attention was drawn to a train station similar to one late nineteenth or early twentieth century American towns had. Rail, even? Where did the rails lead to? More architectural blundering about?

What a confused mashup. He spotted the train headed north on the rails. Late nineteenth century steam locomotive. Pulled by a team of…ponies?

Amazing.

As they walked over the bridge built over the stream, ‘John’ went to the side, stared at it, then crossed over and looked at it from the stream bank. Éire. Ireland. Right out of the Emerald Isle. It wasn’t just amazing, anymore…this was becoming inconceivable. He turned, quickly caught up to Twilight and Derpy, before his following shadow decided to nudge him along with a gesture.

The place was packed with ponies, every color, race, kind imaginable. Unicorns, Pegasi, Earth types bustled about everywhere. ‘John’ started to grin.

“Look at all of you! Going where you go, doing what you do!” A few started to turn and watch the little band. “Curiosity! Pony curiosity! Have to know who, what, where, when, why and how! Just look at you!” The grin widened. “I just love ponies, oh yes, I do!”

Twilight Sparkle was becoming amused with ‘John’s’ exuberance. Ironic, she thought, how a stranger made you look at things through new eyes. You’d think the stallion had never seen more than six ponies in a group before.

“‘John’…you’ve never been to Ponyville before?” Derpy asked incredulously. Wasn’t he the stallion going everywhere with blue boxes? she thought. Everypony traveling came through Ponyville eventually, even if you were just going somewhere else. Something wasn’t quite right here…

“Nope. Never been. Look, over there! What a lovely cart of flowers! Let’s go look!” he started toward the cart as the group followed, less one Alicorn that had to double back after she realized she was walking alone.

He glanced through the offerings, picked up a particularly lovely peach colored rose with orangish petal edges. “For my savior," he said kindly, presenting the flower to Derpy, who blushed as she took it. The mare by the cart smiled a lovely smile.

“I approve wholeheartedly, Derpy, he’s absolutely right,” Roseluck said warmly. She gently took the flower, set it in her mane by her left ear. “Nasturtium or orchid would be even better, but I’m out of those. Somepony came by earlier and bought all my nasturtium, they were so hungry.”

John goggled. They ate those lovely things? Hmmm…

“That will be two bits, sir.” Roseluck smiled. The blood drained out of ‘John’s’ face.

“Er…bits. Money, eh? Well…” he said, thoroughly embarrassed, as he rubbed the back of his neck with a hoof.

Derpy smiled a little self-conscious smile. She turned around, started digging around in her saddlebag. “How in the world can you travel so much without money, ‘John’?” she asked. Just as her hoof touched a couple of coins, Roseluck touched her shoulder with a foreleg.

“Derpy, don’t worry. It’s far too lovely; it just looks perfect there on you. You can always give me one of your famous muffins later.” She winked boldly, nodded toward the perplexed stallion. “And we can talk all about it then,” she said meaningfully, chuckling.

Derpy blushed. Mightily. So did ‘John’.

Twilight gathered them together once more and herded them back toward the library. Roseluck kept chuckling. She fancied herself quite the amateur matchmaker, usually because couples sooner or later came to visit her wares, or stallions (and occasionally, mares), took the step to her cart to either profess their love, or buttress their apologies when they put a hoof wrong. She was the first to predict the Lyra/BonBon couple accurately, as well as being the one to quash the lurid and idle speculation over Vinyl and Octavia.

And unless she was sorely mistaken, Derpy was now off the market. It’s why she put ‘John’s’ flower behind Derpy’s left ear. The guy certainly appeared to have the brains of Pinkie Pie or FlufflePuff, but he was tremendously genuine. Good for her, Roseluck thought. She was always so nice.

But just in case…she decided to start a file when she got home…

Twilight opened the door to her library, ushered the party inside. The group of ponies standing inside the door turned and looked, as well as one young dragon. ‘John’s’ eyes widened in surprise.

“Aw, that’s brilliant! Is that…is he a dragon?” ‘John’ trotted up to Spike. “Are you a dragon?”

Spike flinched slightly under the scrutiny. “Uh…”

“A dragon! And a sentient one, too! Told you, its brilliant!” He trotted around the library, staring, as he read the spines of books. “Look at these! What a culture, to have such varied and interesting subjects!”

Derpy wilted slightly as the Equestrian Heroes, also known as the Mane Six, looked at her. She wasn’t comfortable with scrutiny, and they were definitely scrutinizing her now. ‘John’ was still mumbling and gushing as he took in the second level of books.

Twilight Sparkle took the lead. “Girls, Princess Luna wants us to keep an eye on him.”

Applejack whispered dubiously. “Us? On him? How y’all planning to do that, Twi?”

“Well, let’s rein him in a bit, first. Derpy, would you please go and get ‘John’? And please, have him come back down so I can introduce him.”

A giggly squeak sounded from a pink ball of energy at the end of the group. “Oooh, can I do it, Twi? He’s so different from everypony else! I want to ask him what kind of party he wants, the usual ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, or an even bigger ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party!” She grinned a friendly, maniacal grin. “Which do you think he’d like?” she finished expectantly.

Twilight turned a pained look of patience on Pinkie Pie. “Pinkie, Derpy knows him best at the moment. Let her get him, and you can ask him a bit later which one he would like better.” She looked back at Derpy. “Please, Derpy?”

Derpy sighed, flapped upward toward ‘John’, who was now out on the high balcony, looking through the telescope.

“What’s with him?” asked Rainbow Dash, watching as the chestnut stallion was back to wandering from bookshelf to bookshelf again, totally absorbed in the books. She was not one to enjoy being ignored, and was feeling a bit miffed. Derpy had missed him completely on her way up, and had to backtrack.

“I have no idea, darling, but, I must say, I do enjoy his sense of style,” Rarity said blissfully. “That coat of his is just so chic, I can barely contain myself!”

“Not too sure about his manners,” said Spike grumpily.

“Spike, I don’t think he means to be unkind,” Twilight said, laying a loving foreleg around the shoulders of her Number One Assistant. “I just don’t think he can help it. He’s a lot like Pinkie Pie like that.”

“He is? Yayyy!” Pinkie Pie cheered for a moment, then stopped suddenly. “Wait, what?”

Twilight shrugged in supplication. “See?” she said with a smile.

Spike harrumphed a bit, but let it go.

“Let’s keep it friendly, like Luna wanted. She’s concerned enough to ask that we stay together for a bit, at least until she sends her cab. It wouldn’t hurt to ask some questions, either. Spike, would you get something for everypony to drink, and ask if they would like a little something to nibble on? Please?” Twilight asked.

Spike glared, arms folded.

“Oh, Spikey, don’t be like that. Come, I’ll help you,” Rarity said, with a cute wink at Twilight Sparkle.

Rarity on occasion took very mild advantage of Spike’s crush on her. Such as this one. Spike almost instantly transformed, with a bright, “Sure, Rarity!” as the two of them left for the kitchen.

A sweet, quiet voice came from the back. “Um…Twilight? You and Luna don’t think he’s dangerous, do you?” Fluttershy asked, the tips of her forehooves gently tapped against each other nervously as she sat on her cushion.

“I don’t know, Flutts. Neither does Princess Luna. We’re just taking precautions.” About that time, Derpy had managed to get ‘John Smith’ back down to the first floor where everyone waited, just as Rarity appeared with the drinks, apple juice in this case.

Derpy gently nudged the mildly protesting stallion to the proper position, then sat him down, fussing with his tie again. When she finished, she sat down next to him.

Well, that was...interesting, Twilight thought. She likes him. And she’s a pretty good judge of character.

“Doctor ‘Smith’, these are my friends. Rarity,” she gestured, “…and Applejack, the quiet yellow one in the back is Fluttershy,” she said as the face peeked out behind Applejack, “…the blue one flying around is Rainbow Dash, and the bouncy pink one there is Pinkie Pie. And you’ve already met Spike. Everyone, this is…”

“’Smith’. ‘John Smith’. Call me Doctor," he said charmingly.

Several pairs of eyes regarded the odd stallion. Doctor?

Derpy stepped in. “He’s an engineer, builds things. He’s working on a special project for public call boxes. One of them accidentally ended up in my backyard. They’re supposed to come and get it, and finish taking it to Canterlot, right, ‘John’?”

“Oh, yeah. Didn’t quite get where it was supposed to. I want to talk to Princess Celestia about that.”

He brightened a bit. “Fascinating library you have here, Princess Twilight. All sorts of books and things. Even scrolls. Been getting things on magnetized tape yet? How about photography? Have to stay away from cellulose; rubbish, really. Breaks down. Have anything on chips yet, or disks?”

Twilight goggled. Downstairs in her lab area, she had just been experimenting with cellulose film media for storage of photodocuments. Before she could pursue the thought further, Pinkie Pie jumped in.

“Chips? Corn chips, potato chips, hay chips, and all the dip you could want! Do you like parties? Would you like a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party, or the super-y, duper-y, ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party?”

‘John Smith’ goggled now. “Erm…why do you think I need a ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party?” he asked cautiously.

“Because you’re not from around here, silly!” she giggled excitedly.

‘John’ paled in a mild panic. Everypony else just chalked it up as Pinkie being Pinkie. Spike considered for a bit, but went along with the consensus. But Derpy watched him closely.

Pinkie Pie pressed the point. “Where are you from, Doctor Mister ‘John Smith’?”

“Croupwich…” he said. “That’s it, Croupwich.” The staring scrutiny of the pink one was intense now. He rubbed a hoof on the back of his head nervously. “Lovely place. You should see it sometime.”

“Croupwich? I don’t think I’ve met anypony from there before! Do you do fun things there, like piñatas? Pin the tail on the pony? Cupcakes?” Pinkie asked, almost vibrating with hyperenergy as she stared at him.

‘John’ just gaped at her, completely nonplussed. Inside himself, he felt the strength and character of an individual that had caused some of the worst sorts of tyrants and villains in the universe to quietly tiptoe out a back door rather than face The Oncoming Storm…yet here he was, completely stoppered up by one apparently over-caffeinated, sucrose-wired mare.

Confusing, that.

Twilight stepped in to rescue ‘John’ once more. “Pinkie…” she said quietly.

“What?” Pinkie said, stunned by the interruption. She saw Twilight’s face, and then ‘John’s’.

“Too much again?” she said, a bit calmer, though the irrepressible bouncing remained. Twilight smiled gently.

Girl’s got a nice touch with her friends, ‘John’ observed. Obviously the leader. And a good one. She’s come to his rescue twice now, and with a very soft handle both times. Have to get to know her better.

“Princess, mind if I checked out some books? I love reading, best pastime there is. Tellys are rubbish. How do I go about it?” ‘John’ asked in his staccato manner.

Twilight found herself a bit out of bounds with that, but recovered quickly. “Well, if you’re planning to be around…”

“Just a couple of light readers for me, something in recent history, and a nice tome on the basis and basics of magic, if I may. I could always leave them at Derpy’s lovely home, should I get called away suddenly.”

Twilight decided on a kind smile. “Sure, why not? If you have some identification…”

“Right.” He pulled out his little folio of papers in its wallet. Boldly winking at Derpy, he held up the first one. “How’s this?”

Twilight frowned as she read the blank sheet. “I’m sorry…what’s the Bank of England?” she asked, confused.

“Oh! That’s a little joke my mates pulled once…dreadfully sorry about that. Here’s the right one…”

“Oh, I see…St. John’s Ambulance, Croupwich. President and CEO, one Doctor St. ‘John Smith’. Wow, that’s quite a mouthful…” she copied it onto a small card she had summoned to her with her magic; teleporting it to her with a small pop, along with a quill pen. ‘John’s’ eyes had widened at the new magic ability he observed, but said nothing as he held the folio still.

Derpy watched carefully. After Twilight had finished the borrower’s card, she had popped it to her check-out desk, while ‘John’ had turned to watch, fascinated. During the process, he had held the sheaf of papers still in her line of vision for a moment, before putting it away after Twilight’s spell. Derpy felt the blood rushing through her head.

The paper was still blank.

Now, Derpy was a very sensible mare, and wasn’t into histrionics over things. She had an impulse to ask about the little wallet, but for all her sensibility, she still, every once in awhile, felt self-conscious about what she thought she saw, given her eyes. Rather than ask, she decided to keep it to herself, at least for the time being.

But should an opportunity present itself, one Doctor St. ‘John Smith’ was in for an in-depth grilling, as he picked out two books with Twilight’s help.

The others hadn’t seen any of this; Applejack was in serious discussion with Rainbow Dash over apple cider, Pinkie Pie reviewing party options with occasional noncommittal answers from Fluttershy, and Rarity by herself, madly sketching away on the sketchpad she kept with her all sorts of trench coat options for stallions as she thought about a new customer base. Dynamics shifted around as new information and conversants were added and subtracted; Applejack and Fluttershy started discussing the vampire fruit bats again, (a favorite topic between the two), Rarity and Rainbow Dash about ‘John’s’ coat and female versions, and Pinkie now deep into party planning by herself.

Not for the first time, Derpy felt herself the third wheel in a group. She almost jumped with a start when Spike belched, a peculiar look on his face, and a scroll fell to the floor.

Spike picked it up, read the seal. “It’s for you, Twilight,” he said, eager to be helpful. Derpy felt for him; she was glad he had something to contribute now. She was sorta wishing she could belch up something important, too.

Suddenly, Twilight was looking at her. She shifted a bit self-consciously, then steeled herself as she put her humor back on. It helped.

“Derpy, Princess Celestia is asking me to stay here, and you and ‘John’ to go on ahead.” She glanced over at the chestnut pony, who was trotting over with a bag holding the two books in his mouth. “It seems I’m unneeded for now, though she sent a message to ‘John’ directly in this envelope.” She held it up; it had been rolled up inside the scroll. Derpy took it and put it in the bag with the books, a muffled “Fank hyou” coming from ‘John’ as he tried to talk around the bag handle. Derpy smiled.

There was a quiet knock on the door, as Lionheart announced the arrival of the cab. Hugs were exchanged all around, even by a disappointed Pinkie Pie, who was almost finished with the preliminary “Welcome to Equestria” party planning for ‘John’. Derpy took the bag and put it on her own saddlebag harness, opposite her own. Pinkie managed to elicit a promise from ‘John’ to have the party as soon as he could, but Twilight directed her attention elsewhere with an obscure question on piñata rules at the opportune moment, just before Pinky went through her usual litany, ending up with a cupcake real or imagined sprouting from an eye socket.

They all went outside, even Spike, looking at the cab and the four powerful Pegasi pulling it, the more normal flight goggles on their faces. Twilight pulled the couple aside for a moment as the others looked the cab and team over appreciatively.

“‘John’, I’m supposed to tell you…open the envelope when you arrive at your destination. Not now, and especially not later. Lionheart is supposed to return with you. And Good Luck,” she said, smiling.

“Eh? Why that, Twilight?” ‘John’ asked, perplexed.

“My letter even covered that. The answer I’m to give you for any question is…‘spoilers’, ‘John’. Nothing else. I have no idea why just that, but I trust Celestia, and Luna implicitly. Safe Journey,” she finished with a backward glance, as she walked away toward her friends.

‘John’ looked at Derpy, who shrugged with one foreleg. He shook his head as they both boarded the cab.

“Big mystery about this. Wonder why?” he said to her. Lionheart helped them put on the safety belts, and then checked them. The instructions Twilight relayed to him were explicit…insure their safety, and then accompany them until he received new orders.

With final waves and goodbyes, the cab and its team pulled along the road for a few feet before lifting into the air as Twilight and the Equestrian Heroines watched. Lionheart followed obediently, slightly below and behind the cab. Once airborne and away, they turned as one to stare at Twilight. She nodded sagely.

“Inside, girls. Spike, you and Rarity please finish the food and more drinks for all of us. I have quite a story to tell you. And it’s one I can hardly believe myself.” Princess Twilight Sparkle said wonderingly.

Her friends took one look at her, and quickly, silently filed back inside.

A few minutes later, the cab landed outside of Derpy’s home. The Pegasi came to a stop right at the front gate.

‘John Smith’ was puzzled. “Oi, why are we here? Castle! This isn’t Princess Celestia’s and Luna’s castle, it’s hers!” he said, pointing at Derpy, who was thoroughly confused.

“Orders, sir,” the lead Pegasus said, as Lionheart landed next to him. “My orders are direct from Our Most Benevolent Majesties. I have been told you have, ‘…other arrangements…’," he quoted from memory, “…available to you, and they request that you come there by those means. The Royal Guard Nightwing Threstral Lionheart has been recalled from his duty concerning you, as it is deemed unnecessary and heavy-hooved. The Princesses offer their complements, and have made accommodation, outlined in their letter to you. They do ask that you keep your letter away from other ponies, save Madame Derpy, and come as soon as you are able. Please, exit and take care. Good Luck and Safe Travel,” he offered sincerely

Derpy and ‘John Smith’ exited the cab as asked, and watched it wing away. Lionheart tarried behind for a moment.

“Mister ‘Smith’...I am glad to have met you. For some reason, I feel as if you assisted my Princess in her distress last night. I am grateful for that. Should you have need, speak to the Steward at the Castle. He will know where to find me.” He adjusted his sun goggles, tightening the straps. “I offer Good Luck and Safe Travel as well. Goodbye,” he said in a heartfelt manner, just before he took off and winged away.

Depy sat down with a thump in her front yard. “What in the hay just went on?” she asked, mystified.

“No idea. Well. Let’s have a look at that letter.” He reached into the bag, pulled it out and opened it. And started to grin.

“Derpy, luv…go inside and gather up your college science and engineering books, and your notes, and put them in saddlebags so I can carry them for you.” He looked at her, his happiness gaining momentum. “Time for a change. Oh, yes, time for a very big, big change!”

She unlocked the door, then found a saddlebag pair with enough room for the books, as ‘John Smith’ tossed the two new ones inside by the reading nook. Once Derpy loaded it up, he put it on.

“There! That’s better! Adventure!” He locked the front door from the inside, went to the back, unlocked it, giving Derpy a gentle push with his head out the door and into the backyard. “Lock it up, luv, time to go!” He produced his own key as he walked up to the blue box. Just before he unlocked it, he turned to her.

“Oh, I have something for you, Derpy.” He produced the second key from a pocket. “That’s yours, for as long as you want it. Lifetime, even.” He hung it gently around her neck as the mare suddenly became very shy. “It’s for these very doors. Your very own.” He put his in the door, unlocked it. Giving a slight push, the door squeeked as it swung open into the box. “After you, my dear!”

Derpy suddenly became apprehensive. “Why?” she said, very softly. It was just a box, wasn’t it? What was going on?

The Doctor stood before her. “Because you were right, all those years ago.” He pointed to her books. “You were absolutely right. It’s all inside them. And you deserve to know just how right you were.” He smiled at her, the mania gone, as he gestured inside.

She hesitantly stepped just inside with some trepidation. And her eyes flew open wide in astonishment.

There was a ramp. And at the top, a console. Inside a huge room with organically-shaped pillars supporting a distant ceiling. She turned around, looked back at the small blue doors on the side of a blue box. Then turned around again and took in the massive room.

She walked back outside, walked around the box, rapidly doing the math for a volume estimate in cubic meters, then walked back inside and up the ramp, trying to match up the exterior calculation with the hemispherical interior room, (one of several, she was sure), that she was looking at. And failing completely.

She took in the chestnut colored stallion grinning at her, as she turned around and sat down inside, facing the doors. A few seconds later, The Doctor stood alongside of her, concerned.

Her eyes were closed, in a face of fierce concentration. The Doctor became concerned, as she had neither said the usual, ‘…it’s bigger on the inside,’ or the converse statement, ‘…it’s smaller on the outside.’ In fact, she hadn’t said anything at all.

“Derpy, luv…everything all right?” he asked, concerned.

“‘John’…don’t you think, ever?” she said, upset, as the tears welled up in her, splashed to the ramp unchecked.

He stood stock still, shocked.

“‘John’…after this…after you’ve shown me this incredible machine…how do you think I could ever go back to being a mailmare?” she said, openly sobbing now.

He sat down next to her, as she wrapped her forelegs around him, holding on to him as her former life slipped away from her. A wail of despair escaped as she cried, holding on with everything she could. The rose fell from her ear to the floor, unnoticed.

He softly stroked the blond mane. All he could say was, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” over and over again, as she wept.

Chapter Seven: The Royal Invitation

Twilight finished speaking and looked at her friends, who were all staring at her in varying degrees of incredulity.

All except Pinkie Pie, who muttered, “Told ya so,” to nopony in particular.

“If I hadn’t heard it direct from ya, Twi, and that letter being from Princess Celestia herself…” said Applejack, amazed.

“He’s an alien? Really?” asked Rarity. A planet full of fashion-conscious, extra-equestrians? She didn’t know whether to be frightened, or ask about visas.

“Oh, goodness…” squeaked Fluttershy quietly, still behind AJ, as though ‘John’ would somehow suddenly crash in and begin rampaging throughout the library. Her wide, expression filled eyes grew wider still.

Rainbow Dash decided on bluster. “I can take him,” she said, as her eyes narrowed. “Let’s see what ya got, Time Charger,” she declared.

“I’m going to have to come up with a super-y, duper-y, super-duper, superdupersized party for him now! He’s even beyond the usual 'Welcome to Equestria!' level party type party!” Pinkie Pie declared. There was a moment of *squee*, then she sobered a bit. “I wonder if I can get a hold of Cheese Sandwich…I might need help with this one,” said Pinkie Pie thoughtfully, a very rare occurrence in itself for her.

“Now, hold on everypony! He’s not a bad guy here,” said Princess Twilight Sparkle, asserting a bit of that ‘Princess’ authority of hers. “Princess Celestia told me he’s more like us; somepony who helps when there’s trouble. He just deals in trouble on a lot bigger scale,” she said, with more confidence than she felt.

“Bigger than Discord?” asked Applejack. The others nodded.

“Apparently, girls. He’s not just capable here, he can deal with things in the entire universe,” she said with emphasis. “We’re very good, but outside of the planet, well…”

They stared at her.

“In the meantime, everypony can go home. Just keep your eyes and ears open, your nose in the wind, and if one of us calls, be ready to go.” Twilight Sparkle finished on a positive up note.

“Where?” said Rainbow Dash grumpily, forelegs crossed as she hovered close by.

So much for the positive note, Twilight Sparkle thought, frowning.

Right at that moment, the very same pony Twilight had just described in titanic proportions was shrunk back to simple ‘John Smith’, holding a crying, very distraught grey Pegasus, and mentally bucking himself around in the paddock of his mind.

I’ve so mucked this up, he thought to himself. All I ever thought about was to prove to her how right she was, after all this time. I never once thought, never once even considered that knowing would change how she thought of herself. She had a happy life, had contentment in her heart that things were finally where they should be. And look at what you did!

Some Doctor you turned out to be.

The sobbing slowed, though he never stopped stroking her mane, talking softly to her. She gasped a little, and then the distress came to a merciful, shuddering stop for the both of them.

“Dinky,” she said softly, behind a gentle sob.

“Yeah. Let’s go see her, you and I, the both of us. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna sent us an invitation,” he said as he held out the letter to her. She took it and started to read, as he picked up the rose and gently put it back behind her ear.

There were arcane symbols across the top, some sort of writing she was unfamiliar with…although the designs were somewhat reminiscent of…

Bubble chamber tracks. They were bubble chamber tracks, though the pertinent information had been simplified and only alluded to specific particle information and states in each diagram, though a vector bug pointed which way the diagram was aligned. Antiproton, a few muons here and there, lepton, that one was a fizzy positron, neutrons bulleting about, and those were…chronoton.

She looked up at his face, as he stared at her right eye.

You know, he thought to himself; I think that eye is cuter than the other one, he considered incongruously. Derpy’s adorable field at work again, though he didn’t really notice.

“‘John’. Do you…ponies…write by using particle physics?” she asked, astounded.

“In a way, luv,” he answered gently, “Still have words and such, but Gallifreyan is concept-oriented, even more so than Equestrian. All this wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff is needed to get across when and which, too, not just, ‘Be along the Castle at four o’clock for tea, biscuits, and cucumber sandwiches’.”

He stood up, very gently helped her to her feet. “Come look at this,” he said. She hesitated, and then followed him jadedly up the ramp to the console.

Taking off the saddlebags, he put them on the floor near the console. He turned on the screen, turned it toward her. In moments, she saw a handsome, (in his own way) thin biped, looking very much like ‘John’, dancing around a console. This console, as a loud female in a huge white dress in the view yelled incomprehensible words…

And then her vision doubled. She quickly glanced at a darkened reflective surface on the console for a moment, but noticed her eyes were behaving for once. As she once more focused on the screen, the images spread further apart, started to solidify…then one of the pair seemed to tear itself free from the other, and the one she was watching began to change. The individual seemed to be formed out of clay, as the proportions stretched, lengthened in places, shortened in others. He slid to the deck from the buffeting; took a bang on the head, then lay still.

The changes continued, the head becoming more rounded, with a cute muzzle and adorable ears, the hair confining itself to its accustomed place on the mane, but staying spikey and in arrayed disarray. There was a white collar where the brown suit once was, and a loosely knotted green tie on his neck. He took on a more appropriate chestnut color than the pale sickly one he had, as the long coat became more proper for him, the strong legs sticking out from under it. And as he rolled over when the field of view came under some unseen external influence, a dark brown tail lengthened, followed by a flash of light from his flank as an hourglass appeared.

There was no sign of the female.

‘John’ stopped the playback, reversed it to just before the point of divergence occurred, froze the picture on the male, and zoomed it in. She stared at it, then at the pony alongside the monitor.

“Derpy, may I present…The Doctor.” He even tilted his head and smiled just like the creature in the monitor was.

Derpy drew in a sharp breath. Even given that the one alongside the monitor was real, as well as a pony, the two of them were identical. That little pose he did sealed it. She was looking at two versions of the same entity.

“How…?” she started to ask, sitting back down, amazed.

“Derpy…I’m a Time Lord. Or was. Or am, depending. Depending on from what point in these dimensions you’re looking from, really. Here, I’m like this. There, I’m like that. I’m a member of a race from a planet called Gallifrey, there. And I go about in the universe, helping.”

He turned to the console. “This,” he continued, rubbing a hoof along the edge happily, “…is a TARDIS, Time And Relative Dimensions In Space. It functions as both a spacecraft, and a time machine. And my home. And the two of us are very old.”

“By your normal understanding, I am over seven hundred years old, and this machine, even older than that.” He went and ran the image forward a bit, as it pulled back and took in a great deal of the room they were standing in. As well as the yelling female. “And she is a human. One of those funny, funny creatures that are there in that dimension. They’re much like ponies, really. Though ponies don’t shout like that. Much. I think,” he finished lamely, frowning, brows drawn together in concentration.

Derpy stared at her in fascination. Lyra was right after all, she thought.

“I did a bit of checking round when I came in here yesterday. Equestria, here, and Earth, there,” he pointed with a hoof, “…exist in roughly the same positions and roughly the same temporal flow in both places. They’re almost mirrors of each other. Many things here exist there, and vice versa. They’re sisters.”

Derpy considered the statement, and thought back. A lecture she attended in college, with one of those visiting professors that made the circuit around the schools, lecturing about parallelism in dimensional states came to her mind. How theory was pointing to multiple dimensions occupying space-time together, with only slight variations between them. In one, she might have been able to stay a Wonderbolt, say, rather than go to school. She quickly lost interest in the lecture as she multiplied dimensions inside her head with all sorts of permutations, speculating on the changes one’s life could take; if you turned left at a particular time, instead of right, for example. How her eyes may have changed her from a Wonderbolt to a top physicist. At the time, of course…just before the demonstration.

She returned to the now just as the picture began to change, the view doubling as it had before…

She drew in a breath. What she was seeing…was that exact dimensional aspect, being stretched out away from each other, one maintaining one way, the other trying to go a different route. She then looked at him.

He gave a small nod, smiled slightly.

She watched as two dimensions separated into two directions; as this current one, the one they existed in, became his reality. She pointed.

“Doctor…‘John’. Why did you come apart? According to my understanding of this phenomena,” she said in concentration, “…both of these dimensions should have existed in parallel with each other, in fact, given this piece of empirical data,” she said, falling back into her old ‘science!’ suit, “…they did exist with each other. Why did they separate?”

“There had been an accident. Somewhere along the line, a multiparallel interdimensional temporal rupture occurred. I was pulled out of my old reality, cloned, you could say, pushed through the rupture, or more exactly, the small leak, and came out here, in that wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey sort of way. The TARDIS has ways to repair time/space/dimension fractures to keep realities from spilling all over inside each other and causing a terrible mess on the floor.” He grinned a bit maniacally.

He ran the picture up to where he began to change, and froze it. “Unfortunately, in this case, the leak was a deep one, and to keep realities from melting and melding into each other as the leak tore open, it had to be sealed from both sides of the tear. Him there, and me,” he pointed at himself, then the console, “…here. Had to be done that way. Nothing else for it. But it’s a sealed tear; can’t take a chance and rip it open, even if the realities could be made to mesh properly, which is a longshot to make extreme longshots hardly more than dropping a tuppence into a shooter glass on the bar for a drinking bet,” he said glumly.

He sighed sadly. “This is my reality now at this moment. Here. It’s a fixed point now, to try to change it ‘round would be disastrous. All of the universes everywhere could unravel completely. Won’t take that possibility happening. I’m here from now on, with all of you.” He looked at her forlornly.

She responded the only way she knew how. She reached out, rubbed his shoulder compassionately, as he took control of his emotions back.

He managed a wan smile. “Not so bad, not really. Lots of kindness here. Even more friendship. That Princess Luna, jumping into my Nightmare…we have a lot of pain, him and I. Seen wars that there are no descriptions for in brutality or immensity. Watched planets, whole civilizations burn in the sky. Stars in their death throes petulantly killing everything about them. I would even hesitate to deal with me in my dreams. But here she came, jumping in with all four hooves into the terror of my dreams. Didn’t even hesitate. How do you even define such kindness?” He looked at her as if searching for an answer.

“I called to her, ‘John’…you were in such pain; I couldn’t stand to hear you in agony like that. It was terrifying. I called to her, asked her to come help you, to come and fight your pain alongside you. I would have joined her, if I could. It was tearing you apart.”

“My dreams are terrible, Derpy. Always will be. But last night, she did me a favor. She took the burden away just long enough for me to find a better purchase to carry it with. Both of you did.” He reached out to the hoof, held it with his, in that curious way they had here. “As I mentioned before, such kindness. Brilliant.” He set it down gently on the console.

“I never meant to hurt you, Derpy. I’m sorry. I’m just so sorry... I just wanted you to know, your little machine was the first steps to this. I love this old girl. She’s been my greatest friend all these years. In all the realities, I’m alone. Everyone else of my kind is dead, dead and gone. I find friends, friends and companions, and we all travel together. At least for a time. Then, they leave, or I have to say good-bye to them…or they die. Then, I’m alone once more.”

He covered her hoof with his. “But this time is different. That key is yours not for you to run away, but to learn from. You’re different from everyone else that’s ever been through those doors. I’ve no idea why I’m here other than fixing a puncture. Big universe and all that, after all. But I came down in your garden, luv. This old girl told me something once. She told me she would always take me where I’m needed, not necessarily where I wanted to go. I took that to hearts, I did. She dropped me right in the place where the one pony in all of Equestria would understand.”

Derpy looked puzzled. “But I don’t do that anymore.” She turned and looked at the doors again, looking beyond them at her life, waiting just outside them, as she sighed. “I deliver mail, ‘John’. That’s what I do. I deliver mail, I talk to my friends, and I care for my little girl. I’m no trans-universal explorer, for hay’s sake! Even when I thought about some silly gizmo to get back at all those ponies that thought I didn’t have the brainiacs, smarts, clevers, nerdisms, whatever you want to call it, I wasn’t considering a mechanism that had a n fold dimensional pocket control room slash living spaces that thresholded through a pair of blue doors, just so I could play tourist!”

She sat down, shaking her head again as she stared at the floor. Then, her head popped back up and she looked at him.

“Hearts?”

“Oh, yeah, a pair of ‘em. Typical Gallifreyan anatomy. Got duplicated, right?” He pulled out a stethoscope out of one of the coat pockets, held it out to her. “Care to have a listen?”

Intrigued, she took the stethoscope from him when he walked up, putting the ends in her ears, then tentatively placed the chestpiece bell against his left chest, which was closer.

The usual lupp-dupp, lupp-dupp of a pony four-chambered heart sounded in her ears…but there was something else…

She moved to the right side…lupp-dupp, lupp-dupp…slightly out of sync with…

She looked up at him, astonishment on her face. Then a shy smile, as she looked back at the chestpiece, moved it again from side to side to side again, listening. The smile brightened, as she listened in rapt fascination.

Derpy remembered a picture plate diagram she came across of the vascular anatomy of a pony while chugging away at something else at one of the university libraries; the complex weaving of arteries and veins around the heart and throughout the body, the pulmonary circulation feeding the lungs to oxygenate the blood, as well as the primary one for the rest of the body. She understood hoof frogs, the supplemental blood return system of the hoof and its relation to the vascular circulation. Miraculous, she had thought at the time. Such complexity. All grown out from a microscopic clump-full of cells.

But this…this was amazing! She shifted the bell again, nodding gently to the quiet beating. She looked up again, the smile bright.

“Yeah? Now you know something else most ponies don’t know.” He reached for the stethoscope, which she reluctantly hoofed back. He put it away.

He held out a hoof. She took it, stood back up.

“Close your eyes.”

She did so.

“Now, open yourself up to the universe around you. Reach out.” He closed his eyes as well. “Can you feel the time vortex, the Eye of the TARDIS, underneath you? How about the immensity of the cosmos? How the stars dance through your blood, how they sing. Feel the inhabitants of this world as they go through their life today. Can you feel the connections?” he asked her, still holding her hoof.

In her being, something awakened. She felt something under her…an immensity of power, reaching…through all realities, upward into space…tying everything together, the threads…were passing through all the points of light in the heavens…and amongst the beings around them.

She picked one particular string out, and felt it touch all the ponies around her…a brief hint of Rainbow Dash becoming bored and wanting a nice, soft cloud to nap on…Twilight trying to wrap her mind around a life-changing thing…Luna becoming concerned, pacing…

“‘John!’”

“Remember, luv, we’re in a time machine. Hard to be late anywhere. But I suppose it’s time to get on with it…”

He snatched up the forgotten letter on the floor as he walked to the console. He twirled controls as he consulted the letter, the coordinates for an appropriate spot for them and the machine written on it. “We’re off,” he said, grinning. “Allons-y!!”, as he pulled a lever.

The machine shuddered into action, with the strange sound Derpy remembered from yesterday.

I don’t think it’s supposed to make that sound, she thought to herself.

A few seconds later, the Blue Box began to materialize in the alcove diagrammed in the letter, the light on top flashing, the strange ‘vvorp’ing sound becoming more and more prominent as it gained solidity. There were a couple of ‘thumps’, then quiet.

At least until the door squeeked open. “Oh, nice place!” The Doctor, ‘John Smith’, popped out, followed by a shying Derpy. “One of those hedge mazes royalty finds so fascinating. Good place to put a TARDIS!”

He suddenly became aware of the Royal Guard standing a short distance away. He walked up to him, smiling broadly. “Hullo, I’m The Doctor!” he said grandly.

“Yes, sir,” the guard said flatly. “We’ve been expecting you. I’m to escort you both to the Princesses. Please,” he gestured, “…this way.” He started walking, the two travelers in his wake.

“He didn’t even act surprised,” Derpy said quietly, perplexed. “Like this sort of thing is an everyday happening.”

“First rule, luv. Act like nothing unusual is going on. And always remember, left-hand turns in a maze, and you don’t get lost.”

“Unless the exit is separated from the edges, like at the center of it. Then you just go around and around and around…”

“Oh, right. And besides, with Royalty, one would expect happenings like ours to occur off and on,” he said happily.

“Great.” She sounded unconvinced as her nose wrinkled slightly.

They exited the Palace Labyrinth, and the soldier continued on into the castle. Derpy was trying not to stare too much, but Canterlot was one of those places most ponies didn’t get to see up close, though there was free access to a lot of the castle and grounds for ponies granted by the Princesses. Most ponies just contented themselves with looking up and seeing the faerie tale palace high upon a mountain as they went about their day.

‘John’ continued to tag along after the guard, his coat billowing at points from various breezes circulating through the structure. Derpy moved up alongside.

“You’re awfully calm.”

“Rule Two, luv. Never be overly impressed by the trappings. All ponies put their shoes on one at a time,” he grinned.

“You’re really into this, aren’t you?” she asked grumpily.

“Me? Naww. Well…it’s nice to practice it when there isn’t something threatening, or chasing, or that shooting thing…are you a good runner, Derpy? Forgot to ask. Running can be exceptionally helpful at times.”

She snorted…then started to fly.

‘John’ froze in place, awestruck again, watching her. Aw, that’s brilliant, he thought…then something else caught his attention...

And it’s also remarkably lovely to watch. She’s remarkably lovely to watch…

“Ahem,” said their guard, calmly clearing his throat. “Please, may we continue? I have other duties to perform,” he said calmly.

She backwinged and touched down softly next to ‘John’. “About that running…”

He stared at her, hypnotized, and then stumbled a bit as they started walking again. “Eh?” he said, entranced.

“Running, ‘John’. Remember? We were discussing running,” she said gently.

“Em…oh, sorry. Nevermind.” He thought back to a few moments ago. Lovely. Simply lovely. He tried not to stare at her, though he snuck in surreptitious glances at her here and there.

They continued on, quietly.

A few minutes later, the guard had them hustled into the throne room, whereupon he and the others bowed out and closed the door behind them.

The Doctor relaxed. “Looks like this is going to be one of the good ones,” he said, as he let out a contented sigh.

“How did you factor that one out?” asked Derpy glumly.

He gestured around. “All the guards left,” he said cheerfully.

“‘John’…those two over there…can simply disassociate all your atoms from each other with a thought. Did you consider that, and they just don’t want the guards in the way?” Derpy pointed out, irritated.

“Well…” he said happily, before the import of what she had said struck him. “Hmmm…”

Derpy shook her head, tsking her tongue before she started down the long hall. ‘John’ took a moment to catch up with that, and then trotted after her.

Derpy reached the end, bowed deeply to the two Princesses on the dais. ‘John’ stood next to her, until she kicked his front feet out from him gently. His front crashed to the floor.

“Oi!” he said, surprised. She looked at him askance, then back to the dais, and then back at him.

“Oh, all right,” he said testily, arranging himself in a bow. She smiled.

“Your Majesties,” she said calmly, as she rose back to all fours. The Doctor followed, after he got his forelegs back under him.

“It is good to see you once more, Derpy,” said Luna, who came down from the dais and hugged her. “Sister, this is Derpy, mailmare to Ponyville…and a friend.”

Derpy’s eyes widened in surprise. I’m making all sorts of unusual friends nowadays, she thought to herself.

“We are glad to see the good friend of Our Sister, Mailmare Derpy. But We wonder about your other new friend. How are you doing, Doctor?” asked Celestia, with merriment in her eyes.

“Oh, just fine, I suppose,” he said as he rubbed the closer leg Derpy ‘persuaded’. Then the light came on.

“Wait, what?” he asked in confusion.

“Did I get the form wrong, good Doctor? Or should I refer to you as ‘John Smith’, instead? Please, enlighten me.” She was almost chuckling now.

“What?” he said, a bit too loudly, gears beginning to strip.

“Luna, he’s the real thing. When he gets confused, he gets confused, doesn’t he?” she asked, chuckling broadly now. Luna joined in.

“Oi, what??” he said, even more confused.

Oh, stop, you silly stallion,” Derpy said, chuckling herself now. She settled down in front of him, fussing with his tie again. “They know who you are, and probably all about you, clever boy. Relax, you apparently have even more friends than you thought,” she said calmly, her tongue poking out as she straightened it. “…two Princesses, and you let yourself get like this,” she went on as she pulled the knot to its proper place.

“There,” she said finally. “Perfect.”

Luna smiled at both of them as Derpy went through her ritual with The Time Charger. “Sister, I have some preparations for tonight I should attend to. The Chef is requesting guidance on the children’s soyburgers.”

Celestia waved a dismissive hoof mirthfully, as Luna left.

“Now, for you, Time Charger…” Princess Celestia said kindly.

“Wait…Time Charger?” the Doctor asked.

“But of course! Time Lord sounds so stuffy, wouldn’t you agree?” she pointed out, as she flew off the dais and landed next to him. He stared at her.

“Well…suppose so. May have some problem with it at first, old habits, you see…” he finally said lamely.

“Don’t blame me, it was your idea, Doctor,” she laughed. “And what is it that brings you to our fair planet today? Public Call Boxes, perhaps?”

Those in the know about Princess Celestia, Guardian of the Light in the World, Warmth of the Sun, and many equally impressive and pretentious titles she didn’t much care for, knew her to be a bit of a practical joker, and sporadically, just a teensy bit mean on occasion, mostly from chafing under everyone treating her like some fragile cut glass treasure, or expecting her to be some kind of magic lamp you buffed up for wishes. Both were very tiresome, and though she always tried her very best; sometimes that exasperation of hers would peek through. In fact, just before these two very important ponies arrived, she received word that somepony’s daughter would like for her to be their ‘special guest’ at their private home. The ‘why’ was proving to be less clear, though she had her suspicions, and ways to discover exactly what the truth was.

She sighed for a second, then decided to talk with the stallion that in many ways was more her equal…though he was definitely suffering from thick headedness today. And with that…

It suddenly dawned on her, as she winced with the pun. This had to be his first meeting with them. The only reason the Doctor had to be this dense is because he was. At least for now.

Temporal shifts…no wonder she got headaches from trying to understand them.

“Well…er, things are going…well…” ‘John’ managed to stumble through, nervously scratching at the back of his head.

“I see. Other than our little get-together and introduction, was there anything you required?”

“No. Yes. No. Well yes…for her, you understand. Derpy’s college project…still have that ‘round somewhere? Like to take a look, if we could.”

“Certainly, Doctor,” she said, as she hooved over to him another envelope she had previously prepared a few years ago, and very recently retrieved with her aura when she became aware of his return. “When do you wish to leave? I need to let my Sister know.”

“As soon as…wait. No. Just no. I’m not a cab, Princess…”

“Doctor, we followed your instructions to the letter regarding the device and materials. Derpy’s books and papers are in my vault, and easily recovered. But the device was isolated as you wanted. As anxious as you both may be to get it, neither yourself nor Derpy can lift or carry almost seventeen hundred pounds of machine. You will need someone who can. And will also remain, ‘confidential’, shall we say, about it. I can do both. In fact, I’ve already accomplished this in the first place.” Smiling, she turned on her hooves, started for the door.

“Coming, Doctor?”

He nodded his head, sighed. “Off we go again. Derpy?”

“Of course.” She started walking along. “And I would really like to discover why everypony hid my machine.”

“Me too, luv. Me too,” he said quietly.

Celestia’s horn glowed gently as she opened the door. The Sergeant snapped to attention.

“Sergeant, send word to Princess Luna to recover Derpy’s materials from the Crown Vault, and meet us at the appropriate place in the Palace Labyrinth with them. She is to maintain the kingdom until we return.”

“Yes, Majesty. Shall I send the Guard with you?” he asked, concerned.

“No need, Sergeant. The place is still within the Canterlot Canton itself, but would needlessly place the Guard under undue risk. The three of us will manage quite well. Assist The Princess of Kind Dreams until then,” she ordered confidently.

“But, Majesty…”

“How well has your swimming technique advanced, Sergeant?” Celestia asked, her eyes narrowing slightly.

He flinched visibly.

“As you order, Majesty.” He took off at a gallop.

She sighed heavily. “Again with the cut glass…”

“I beg your pardon, my Princess?” Derpy asked.

Celestia sighed heavily again as she looked at her glumly. “It’s nothing, mailmare. Just a burden I have to bear.”

Luna met them at Alcove Six, a moderately large bundle of books and papers safely in her horn’s magic field.

The Doctor took it in. “Not too bad, figured much more than that.” Luna pointed to a second, even larger bundle alongside the TARDIS.

“Oh,” he said, nonplussed. He unlocked the door, as Luna increased her field, and brought both piles inside.

“Shall I just leave them here?” she asked, concerned.

“Down the hall, right at the first junction, first door on the left. Don’t know if the door knobs are still in place, though. Might get tricky getting the door open.”

Luna snorted. “Magic has its uses, Time Charger.” She left for the room he indicated.

“Just put them in the bins in there, we’ll sort it out for fair later,” he called after her. He turned to the other one.

“Princess Celestia, mind if I ask how you managed Gallifreyan? Not an easy language to understand,” he said, with a cheeky wink at Derpy.

“Gallopfreyan is extremely difficult, unless the person reading it used left crib notes to copy and hand off to himself, though they were complicated to copy down, and try as I did, I couldn’t figure out what they said. However, I do have some idea as to what they contained. Our first letter to you was to direct you to specific places to land your TARDIS, where it would not upset our subjects.” She gestured to the envelope.

He opened it, read the contents. “And this is to some sort of ‘mountain retreat’, eh?”

“Actually, it’s for the Windigoes Observation Blind. Isolated, very difficult to reach on hoof due to ice and snow, and almost impossible to reach by air. I can do it, though it was very dangerous,” she grinned, “…and impossible for almost any others, though Rainbow Dash may be able to do it, if the wind is just right, and she manages it quickly before her wings freeze. Getting back down, however, is an entirely different story.”

“And us? Some special magic?” The Doctor asked.

“Just what you bring to it, Doctor, you and the blue box,” she replied, amused, just as Luna returned to the control room.

“Sister, I have some young children who are expecting me. Safe Travels, but should you have need, call,” she said warmly. Celestia smiled even larger.

“Have a good time, Luny. Don’t forget to get a nap in, rested Princesses are happy Princesses.”

Luna nodded to them, smiling, as she walked straight out the doors. Celestia watched her younger sister as she left.

“This should be fine, then. I left you excellent information.” He set his controls, reached for the dematerialization lever.

Derpy again frowned as she listened to the machine start off. The noise set her teeth on edge.

“‘John’…is something broken on this machine of yours?” Derpy asked, the concern in her voice evident.

“This old girl? She’s a classic. Runs like a top, she does.” He took a moment from his leaping about the console to look at her. “Why?”

“Something’s off. Can’t you hear that?” she asked.

“She always makes that sound…”

“Yeah, you have the field bias turned up too high. I get that.” She walked up closer to one side of the console. “This machine was designed for six operators; to give you time to operate things in the sequence, you pushed up the field bias. Like leaving the brake on. But there’s something…”

She knelt down, pulled a base panel open.

“Oi! Are you daft? You’ve no business in there!” he cried, panicked.

She glared at him.

“We’re moving! No…Just no.”

She stuck a hoof in…and like soothing music, everypony relaxed a bit. She put the panel back and stood up, her right front hoof covered in dust and grime. “Get me a rag, ponyboy, I need to clean this off. And when was the last time you got in there and decontaminated all this out of her?”

“Well…” he said, as the hoof rubbed his head. He dug around in a pocket of his coat, pulled a linen hoofkerchief out and handed it to her.

“John, your torque sensors were off. You mean to tell me you couldn’t hear it whining in desperation and pain in there? I thought Colgate was drilling on my molars, it was so excruciatingly loud.”

“I believed it was just how this thing operated, mailmare, though this was the first time I felt it.” Princess Celestia added, smiling at her benevolently. “It wasn’t apparent to me when I traveled before. Now that it has dissipated, I’m very well aware of its absence.”

Derpy continued to work at her hoof. “I put one in my gizmo. Took me two days to figure out it was out of alignment. Having something that can do what these things do requires some way of detecting and controlling when parts twist relative to others, or everything might end up as fusilli.”

She handed the now grungy kerchief back to The Doctor, who held it by a corner perplexed as to what he was going to do with it at the present.

“Are we there yet?” Derpy asked, fully indulging her snarkiness. She wanted this thing down on the ground; no telling what else was out of alignment, worn, improperly set, or just plain broken. ‘John’ glared at her, as he started to push forward on the lever…

Celestia opened the door first. “Ah, here we are. Everypony, please be aware of any ice. I did have the ponies who helped build this put up a fairly high safety rail,” she said, “…but one careless moment, and it is one very long way down.”

She pointed.

Derpy and ‘John’ carefully watched for ice as they neared the rail, peeked over.

The blind was high, built on the same mountain that supported Canterlot. The faerie-tale aspect of Canterlot Castle was even more emphasized by the height and the new angle they were looking at it.

“Quite a fantastic engineering feat, Your Highness,” ‘John’ said, impressed.

“Look up.” Celestia said.

They did.

As they watched, an ethereal cloud began to shift close to the summit. As they watched, the shape began to change.

Derpy began to shrink back toward the TARDIS, fear growing on her face…

“Do not be afraid, my little pony. I’m here, and I wouldn’t let anything harm you,” Princess Celestia said in a comforting voice. “Besides, there is nothing here for them to influence, though I would caution you and The Doctor to declare a truce, lest your earlier argument give them power.”

Derpy and ‘John’ watched the clouds form into ethereal equines, ‘John’ in rapt attention, Derpy in uneasy silence. They stayed high up near the summit, though, and didn’t descend.

“There is never enough anger and meanness these days to allow them to chill the air enough to come much lower,” Celestia said, a little sadly. “They must remain high near the summits to survive.”

“Princess…Why do you feel sadness for these things?” Derpy asked, confused. “Didn’t the Windigoes cause all that strife we see in Hearth’s Warming Eve?”

“‘Cause’ is perhaps too harsh a word, my little pony, though they certainly added to it. But I am Princess for many others; others than just all of you.” She watched them sadly. “We celebrate such wonderful things in our relations with each other. But sometimes, those very things can deny others their freedom.”

“Quite profound, Princess.” ‘John’ said sympathetically.

“I had a good friend teach me that.” Celestia said, smiling.

“Pretty intuitive bloke, that one.” The Doctor replied, smiling warmly as well.

“Of course he is…he’s you,” she said, reaching out and laying a hoof gently against his shoulder. Their smiles lingered on their faces, as Derpy’s eyes grew moist. She smiled, too.

“Well, I think it is about time we got to work. It is rather cold up here, and I am not one to enjoy much of that, being the Sun Princess and all,” she chuckled. She then walked to an overhanging piece of cliff above them. “Doctor, would you be so kind, and release the locking mechanism on this cliff face with your Screwdriver? And please stand clear, the door is solid rock, and even with my confidence in my abilities, accidents do happen.”

John pulled out an unusual cylinder from a pocket and walked over near the Princess. She pointed with her horn. “Just about there, I believe, if I remember correctly,” as her magical glow flowed over the face, bright yellow against the dark grey rock.

He pointed the device, the Screwdriver, at the indicated area. With a click, the end lit up with an amazing blue color, and it buzzed.

There was a corresponding click, much louder, that came from the cliff. A large section started to fall, but was caught and easily held fast by Celestia. She moved the chunk without difficulty to the clear space close by the cliff on the huge shelf they were all on, and set it down carefully.

“There. Hardly a trifle, after lifting that sun up and down all the time.” Her magic lifted from the stone, probed the hole in the cliff. “Ah, there it is.”

A fairly broad ellipsoid, about five feet in height, began to descend from the opening. “Doctor, Derpy; where do you want this?”

Derpy couldn’t help it. “Not on Princess Twilight Sparkle, Majesty!” she said, laughing.

Celestia chuckled. “Well, then…I am also very glad this isn’t either an anvil, hay wagon, or piano, then.” She lowered it to just above the surface. “Is the room Luna used adequate for this, Doctor?”

“Oh. Oh, just fine. Set it on the floor for now, and I’ll hunt around for a crate or such. Should make sure it can’t roll around or get jostled.”

A second object lowered from the hole on her magic. “I’ll just use your original stand, Doctor.” It looked remarkably like an egg cup, with a very wide, stable base. They both floated obediently in front of her.

“Marvelous,” The Doctor said, as he started for the TARDIS door. Suddenly, the rock door lifted, placed itself back into the face over the hole.

“A moment, Doctor. Would you be so kind?” she asked, pointing a hoof at the cliff door. He pointed the Screwdriver back at the cliff as it buzzed. The cliff face again clicked, and the door was sealed.

“Fantastic craftsmanship. Hardly can see the split, and that’s with me knowing it’s there.”

“It took very careful crafting and magic to cut the door free and to remove enough rock behind it to make the opening large enough to place the device inside. We managed to thin the door adequately to install the mechanisms to seal it, and keyed it to your Sonic Screwdriver,” Celestia said proudly.

Derpy was amazed. Twilight was a very powerful magic-user, had done all sorts of things thaumaturgic in Ponyville, but she NEVER lifted so much weight in one casting…and the Princess had done it with TWO things, while also lifting and suspending in place a THIRD, without any stress at all.

Raising suns and moons really did build up the magical muscles…as well as being your own sort of demigoddess. In addition.

“Let’s retreat unto thine TARDIS, as Luna would say, Doctor, and put this all away properly. Then we can get off this unpleasantly cold platform, and I’ll order up some hot water bottles and warm blankets. Derpy, do you still like hot chocolate?” asked Princess Celestia.

Derpy nodded wordlessly, still enthralled at what she just did. Then she started a bit. She never told the Princesses she liked chocolate; either hot, cold, or any temperature in between.

“Do not worry, my pony. Your fine daughter told Luna, who then told me. I can do many things, but mind reading is still just out of my grasp. Yet.” She chuckled as Derpy appeared to panic slightly.

“Gotcha.” She laughed as she led the two of them inside the TARDIS, the machine and its base floating in front of her.

Derpy pardoned herself a minute, went up the ramp to fetch her saddlebags from the house that were still on the machine's platform. The three of them then reached the room where Luna had previously placed the materials, Celestia leading them along, but rather than Luna putting them in the large tubs he had originally suggested, Luna had quickly and competently stacked and shelved the papers and books. Even the blueprints had been racked professionally in the provided shelving designed for such things.

“Eh? I suppose magic has all sorts of uses. Would have taken me a bit to do this…” he said in admiration.

Derpy put the bags down by the door, and *squeed* in glee as she rushed to the shelves, running a hoofedge lovingly along the spines of the books, as Princess Celestia set down the stand first, then gently, without a bump, nestled the machine into it.

“Doctor, the field latch for the stand is located at the base.” She reached out with her magic, and flipped the switch. A rose glow enveloped it. “There, finished.”

“Okay, everypony, home! I’m chilly.” Derpy found a blanket nearby; though not one large enough to cover the Sun Princess in entirety, it would help in the short run, and draped it on her. “Thank you, my pony. I forget how cold it gets up here.”

They walked back to the control room, Derpy flipping through a comb-binding manual she had pulled free from the bookshelves. “Huh. I left the operating instructions with you, Princess…I don’t have this in my library.”

“Nor the assembly and maintenance guide, or the component assembly/dis-assembly schematics and procedures. Even the component list is in here. Some care was taken to insure possibly dangerous information wasn’t left around. Your home isn’t a secure library, Derpy; somepony, or something else, could have broken in and acquired enough information to endanger lives. As despondent as you were when you left University, the decision was made to safeguard all the more inimical portions of your research, and there is no place more secure than my vault. Your theoretical and scientific papers and books were released to you. I was frankly surprised you never noticed.”

“I was just so shattered that day, Majesty. I told ‘John’ I couldn’t bear to even think of them.”

“Well, now, don’t be upset, my dear mailmare,” she smiled warmly. “The one pony best suited to work on surmounting your problems in that regard is standing very close to you now. Shall we go, Doctor?” she asked with a smile.

“At once, Princess!!” he said with zest. He clambered up to the console.

Princess Celestia the Benevolent Sun smiled at Derpy. “I have absolutely no idea if he’s being serious or not about that Princess thing. But I’ll accept that he is trying to be kind.” She sat down, as they started to move.

“Would you care for some cake with your hot chocolate, my dear pony? I have a most marvelous baker in the castle…”

Derpy wouldn’t have minded a decent chocolate chunk muffin, but when one half of the Diarchy of your world offers cake, it’s hard to refuse…

Soon, all four of them, Luna included, were in the slightly cozy dining area just off the throne room. Derpy’s nerves weren’t all that much better after the latest trip in the TARDIS, but having the torque sensors better balanced did end the irritating squeal they had felt during the outbound trip.

Derpy did accept the cake, a fine carrot cake with sour cream icing. Even ‘John’ had a piece, as well as Luna. The lion’s share went to Celestia, though. ‘John’ had frowned slightly at the size of the piece, but Derpy nudged him under the table with a hoof, which calmed his natural curiosity to pursue the question.

“Doctor, we shall keep that alcove in the maze open for you. Should you need to come see us, please, feel free to use it when you are in the TARDIS. For any other means, send word through Spike…” Celestia began.

"Oi! The dragon! I’d no idea you could do that. It’s like a type of teleport, with…”

A sharp kick. “OW!”

Derpy smiled affectionately at the Princess. “I shall see to that, my Princess.” She glared at ‘John’, whispered sotto voce, “‘John’, please, do not interrupt the nice Princess. It’s a bit rude.”

He looked down as he rubbed his leg. “Didn’t intend to be rude. Just fascinated. And careful with that hoof, it hurts.” He smiled at Celestia. “Sorry. Please go on…”

Celestia stared, wide eyed…then started to laugh.

“You two…stop being so silly, ponies expect their ruler to be calm and composed, not rolling around on the floor helplessly laughing at your antics. You two can fuss like…”

“Yes, Princess?” asked Derpy, as Celestia’s eyes went wide in astonishment.

“Oh…never mind. Just a thought I had about something,” she said distractedly, sipping at her tea. These two…the way they interacted brought her tremendous happiness. She set the cup back down.

“Doctor, you are welcome in Our lands, always. Was there something in particular that brought you here to Us?” Celestia asked compassionately.

“Accident, really. A multiparallel interdimensional temporal rupture. Got pulled in and dropped here. See, problem is, I don’t know what caused it. Things are a bit dodgy as to source. Tell me, Princess,” he asked, concerned, “…you’ve not been messing about with time lately, have you? You or your sister?”

“No, Doctor. Neither I, nor Luna, is well enough acquainted with practical temporal thaumaturgy to attempt any type of manipulation. Luna has some understanding of interpretational cause/effect linearity, but only in dreams. The power costs in such spells are enormous, and I already devote a great deal of personal energy moving a star sized nuclear furnace. One quite literally has to deviate one time line into another parallel one, establishing it as the new normal. Parallel lines then have to shift as well to make room for the change, which severely drains the caster. The shift itself establishes the very fistula you described; and on occasion, the shift on its own causes the very problems you were trying to overcome in the first place. One who has attempted the spell is Twilight Sparkle, with unfortunate results. That is why we were so shocked to find that you could do it.”

Derpy spoke up. "'John’…Halterbert space in partial differential equations.”

‘John Smith’ said, “Only when quanta are paired from state to state…”

The conversation between the two of them rapidly became over everyone’s head except the conversants.

“Are you getting any of this, Cely? I have no experience with such science.” asked Luna, worriedly.

Celestia shook her head, watching them while sipping more tea. “The last was when Derpy said, ‘‘John’, which was the final word I clearly understood; after that, my eyes glazed.”

“So, without a point seal in the designated space…?” Derpy asked.

“The vector can travel through any, some, most, or all lines in the congruent dimensional states. It just goes anywhere randomly.” ‘John’ finished.

“Oh, dear,” said Derpy, the color draining from her face.

Two Demigoddesses and one Time Charger looked at her, worried.

“Are you all right, luv?” asked ‘John Smith’ first.

“I think I know what happened,” said Derpy, uneasily.

“What?” they all asked at once. Anyplace else, somepony would have said, ‘Jinx’ and the somepony else would be buying a round of sodas. Chocolate, in this case.

“Discord.”

Chapter Eight: Forging Bonds

There was a general uproar by the Two Sisters, which ‘John’ was trying to settle down.

“Now hang on, everypony!” he cried. The din subsided. “Derpy, carefully now. What happened?”

Derpy looked from one to another. “It was my mail delivery at Fluttershy’s…”

She carefully recited the entire incident in great detail. When she finished, ‘John’ rubbed his forehead with a hoof, thinking.

He looked at the Sisters. “Anything else, Majesties? No secret laboratories, no fancy, shiny machine winking and blinking away somewhere?”

Their faces said it all.

“Right, then.” He looked at Derpy. “So, you think he displaced this timeline, backed it up almost two hours, then let it run?”

“I don’t see any other possibility, ‘John’. You said so yourself. The displacement was small, but deep. Stopping, rewinding, then restarting this line certainly qualifies. He left a ‘hole’. There was non-parity until you and the TARDIS dropped in and did revising. The restructure repaired the gap.” She studiously avoided saying it left him stranded in this line, by eliminating his previous one.

He smiled at her. “No crying over spilled milk or alternative realities. It’s a fixed point, remember? Trying to fix this would definitely bollocks up everything. I shan’t cry over it, and neither should you.”

Celestia was quietly sitting still, pondering the import of the information. In stark contrast…

Luna was visibly upset. “If this was another of his ‘little jokes’…”

“Highness, I don’t believe he did this out of malice,” Derpy said firmly.

“And why is that, mailmare? We should…”

Derpy interrupted before the Benevolent Princess of Night became very non-benevolent.

“Princess Luna…if he were going to cause this just for trouble, he would have done it for the disorder, not imposing order. He’s remarkably consistent in that. This was a mistake.”

Luna continued to fume, but didn’t object.

“So…what to do about it?” The Doctor asked of the two demigoddesses. Neither had an answer.

“And me as well. Derpy…?”

Now she was on the spot, something quite new, and very unsettling. She became extremely quiet.

“I’m sorry, luv. Didn’t mean to drop it all on you. But you’ve had the latest interaction with him, other than Fluttershy, eh? Your opinion counts for some, too,” he smiled gently, nodding and gesturing forward with a hoof.

“‘John’,” she said, trembling slightly. She was almost into a panic attack.

“Look…I’m standing right here with you. You’re one of the most clever, smart ponies I’ve ever met.”

“It’s a small list, ‘John’, and not overtly helpful…”

“But it is a list, luv, and you’re top pony on it. You may not be some robotic computerized being with a head the size of a planet, but then again, things work better sometimes when brilliance has no need to travel great distances.”

“I ever get out of this, I plan to strangle you with that tie of yours,” she said crossly.

“See? Optimism! Have to get there to do that...” he said, grinning maniacally.

She glared at him, then sighed. She then turned to face the Diarchy, planting a big smile on her face.

“Highnesses…Discord is lonely...”

“Been there, done that,” Luna whispered disdainfully. Celestia placed a calming hoof on her shoulder.

“Your support in that, Derpy?” asked Celestia, analytically. At least it wasn’t complete rejection.

Derpy started to warm up to her subject. In a way, this was college all over again. If she looked at the Princesses just right, it felt much like her argument for ‘the gizmo’. Although it didn’t work as advertised, it had been built, and it did operate. And knowing she had been correct about her foundations on it, she suddenly felt confident about these conclusions, too.

“My interaction with the Demigod of Chaos have been, er, unique, as compared to most everypony on Equestria. I placed no constrictions on his actions, other than functioning as his conscience in this milieu. His desire for interaction helped self-limit his behavior.”

“Are you simply saying to have someone to show off to, he kept a lid on it?” Celestia asked, stunned.

“Yes, Majesty, that is exactly what I am saying. In most ways, at least in ones that matter, Discord is incorporating those friendship lessons that he has been exposed to. He is a friend of mine, for example.”

All three ponies turned and looked at her, astonished.

“It’s been an interesting week…” Derpy said meekly.

*eeep* came from Luna. The others just continued to stare, dumbfounded.

“Look…it started with Discord and that rabbit of Fluttershy’s, then a Time Charger falls out of the sky into my backyard; and now I’m giving my opinions to the two Princesses that rule my world. Don’t you think I’m handling all this pretty well, considering?” Derpy said defensively, a little put out.

“Mother of Me,” said Celestia, stunned.

“Mother of Us…” Luna corrected, also staring, astounded.

‘John’s’ mouth started to open…

Derpy glared at him dangerously, pointing at him with her forehoof. “Don’t. Just…don’t.”

He shut it with a snap.

“Derpy, please understand,” said Celestia. “All our experiences with him have been, well, combative. It’s very difficult to wrap our minds around the Lord of Chaos being nice to anypony. We’ve had a difficult time of it when Fluttershy took him in, afraid she and those around her would disappear down a chaos-filled nightmare. And now we find out he’s making friends on his own?”

“And I…I told your daughter once that I felt that if there were an additional Element of Harmony; if such a thing existed, it would find you.” said Luna. “Amazing how prescient that was. This situation…is most hard to grasp.”

“She told me, Highness. Thank you for your kindheartedness with that,” said Derpy. “And I do believe he is sincere. I want to nurture that, yet guard against any further fiddling with the time line. I believe he is as inexperienced as you are in time manipulations. It’s much more based in science than arcane knowledge. Somehow, we either have to prevent him doing it, which he will naturally resent, or dissuade him from exercising it.”

“Any ideas, Derpy?” asked Celestia, kindly.

Now it was Derpy’s turn to stare helplessly.

“I’ve got one!” said the Doctor suddenly and loudly, a huge smile on his face. “Where’s Fluttershy? We need to go see her first and then Discord.”

“Probably at home by now, ‘John’…why?” asked Derpy with trepidation. That smile made her uneasy.

“Let’s get into the TARDIS, everyone! Time for an intervention!” he said enthusiastically. Luna facehoofed.

Is he really planning to talk to Discord about this? thought Celestia.

The spirited argument that started in the big blue box didn’t lift a bit once the doors swung open on Derpy’s back yard. There had been one change: the TARDIS was now sitting on the walkway near the house, not on the lovely grass section. ‘John’ beamed and winked at Derpy when she noticed that.

As ‘John’ locked the door on his, Derpy was unlocking hers, starting to whisper a prayer of gratitude she and Dinky kept the house spotless…then, almost burst out in giggles at the incongruity that the very beings she was contemplating praying to were about to tread on her nice, clean floors.

“I am very concerned about revealing such information to the Chaos Lord...” Luna went on as they walked in. Luna took the interior in, smiling and nodding at the tidy place. She liked order.

“As am I, Sister…but we need to face the fact we really don’t have any idea quite what to do about this,” Celestia said, frowning. She also looked about. “Derpy, this is such a lovely place, and We would love a tour of it sometime…but We are a little pressed currently. When We get back, please contact the Steward and set up a convenient time with him. I’m sure We could manage it.”

Derpy’s eyes went wide. Two demigoddesses, one demigod, she thought. Holy shi…

“Keeps the place neat as a new pin, she does; her and the little one. Magnificent, isn’t she?” ‘John’ chuckled as he swept up a waterglass from the cupboard, gave it a quick fill from the faucet, and tucked Derpy’s rose he’d plucked from her ear deftly into it with a flourish. Amazingly, it was still as fresh as when he put it over her ear. He then went on past to the front door.

And one Time Charger, she added. A mad, gallant Time Charger.

He unlocked it, tugged it open. “Mares first,” he said graciously, gesturing grandly through the open door.

They all stopped, and looked at Derpy.

“B-but…” she said, confused. Celestia laughed delightedly.

“My little pony, this is your home; your castle, as such. You reign here. And as such, you lead us by going first.” She gently nudged Derpy with her head out the door. Celestia then followed her, and then Luna, with ‘John’ bringing up the rear.

Derpy turned red with embarrassment as she re-locked the door. “I’m sorry…this is so confusing, Princess Luna. It must be helpful to just follow her.”

“Derpy, the Sun is out,” Luna said, smiling as she watched Derpy lock the door.

“I beg your pardon, Princess?” Derpy asked.

She laughed quietly. “As a Diarchy, sharing power can be complicated. We decided long ago to approach this particular question simply. Whichever celestial body is in ascendance dictates the precedence. During the Day, Celestia is first. When the Night comes and My Moon fills the sky, I am first.”

“Which means she gets all the good parties,” Celestia said with a wink, grinning. “And I still wish we could alternate on the Gala.”

“Nuh-uh.” Luna said, as they took to the road to Fluttershy’s. “That’s all yours, Sis,” she said happily.

Celestia grumbled. “Come on, Luny. I need a rest from it. Pleeeaseeee?” she begged.

“Why would I wish to break with such a long standing tradition?” Luna asked innocently.

“Because it’s nighttime. And crowded. And filled with such irritating obsequious toadies and lackeys begging for boonfavors. And an annoying royal pain in the dock. And…”

“And, other than My Night, absolutely nothing I’d want to willingly partake in as the host. Seriously, Cely, you’re not exactly selling it to me very well…”

“Look, Luny…sometime in the next several thousand years you can expect to get stuck with something you’re not going to want to be doing on a constant basis. Let’s set a new precedent now before it happens…” Celestia retorted.

Derpy stared, dazed, as she walked along the road with two superbeings arguing like fillies being forced to eat raisins.

She hated raisins.

“Amazing that when you really get down to it, royalty puts their pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else.” ‘John’ laughed softly, as he caught up to her.

“‘John’, just in case it slipped your notice, we covered this already with shoes…plus, no one is wearing pants,” Derpy pointed out, annoyed. “We’re ponies, remember?”

“Er…Nevermind. Poor example. And I’m not staring; really, I’m not.”

A short time later, they were at Fluttershy’s door. Celestia held up a hoof, and ‘John’ paused in front of it.

“Are you sure about this?” she asked the chestnut stallion.

"'Course not,” he said cheerfully, as he walked around her and knocked boldly.

She twitched an eyebrow up. “So, what makes you think this will work?”

“I’m The Doctor,” he said cheekily, showing off those acres of white teeth he had in a dazzling smile.

Celestia made an interesting sound, somewhere between derisive and exasperated, with a slight touch of disbelief. Derpy decided that would be a good one to learn, it communicated so much.

As they waited for the door, Derpy noticed that the dust kicked up along their trip on the road had not dared to settle itself on either Princess. She and ‘John’, however, would require a gentle brushing or a nice shower later today or tonight. She gave herself a mild shake, and unwittingly released a small, dust filled cloud, which immediately disappeared up her nose.

She tried, but unable to resist further, she let out with an adorable sneeze, eliciting two warm smiles from a pair of Princesses, and a delighted, toothy grin from the Time Charger.

Just then, a butter-yellow Pegasus with a pink mane answered the door.

“Oh, my goodness,” slipped out, as the mare’s eyes grew huge, taking in the small but famous party.

“Fluttershy…would you mind if We came in to see you for a bit?” Princess Celestia asked warmly, smiling gently down at the teal blue-green eyes.

“Oh, here we go again,” Luna said grumpily under her breath. “Always with the soft sell...”

Derpy almost gasped, staring at Luna. Luna pretended not to notice.

“Please, come in Majesties, everyone,” she said in her soft, quiet voice, bowing deeply. Celestia smiled.

“Fluttershy, Our Sister, Luna, and Our friends. You’ve already met The Doctor, and you already know Derpy. Thank you for seeing Us on such short notice,” said the Benevolent Warmth of the Sun, fully into her identity.

“But of course, Majesties. Can I get you something? A drink, perhaps?” Fluttershy asked kindly.

Derpy started to answer, suddenly very desirous of a shooter or two of that nice peach schnapps Fluttershy kept on a back shelf of her pantry, ‘for medicinal purposes only’, when Celestia intervened.

“Tea would be fine, Fluttershy. And don’t trouble with adding any cream and sugar; We’ll do that ourselves from the tray.”

Luna made a rude face directly in front of Derpy, out of sight from the rest of the group; an astoundingly precise blend of gagging, horror, and revulsion. Derpy suddenly realized she was interested in something stronger than just tea as well.

“Where’s your roommate, Fluttershy?” Celestia asked, in that homey way she had honed to razor-like sharpness over centuries of small talk. Derpy noticed Angel in his basket, ears laid back in fright; nothing moving but his eyes as he watched the room full of Alicorns, a crazy stallion, and his recent practical joke target.

“He’s upstairs, doing chores. Should I…?”

Just then, there was a pouf, and Discord, in a French maid’s outfit, was suddenly standing downstairs. All the eyes of the group were on the black and white dress somehow shoehorned onto the lanky figure, as they stared in various stages of shock and surprise.

“…and I already told you, I don’t do windows…” he blurted out, just before he noticed the two Princesses.

“Oh, just terrific,” he said in an exasperated tone. “Need a new centerpiece for the Royal Gardens, already? I’m sorry, Princesses, I’m not about to induce another thousand-year ache in my back for a suitable dramatic pose; you’ll just have to settle for this one…” he said, as he poufed into a dejected lumpy stone statue laying on the carpet.

Derpy giggled…she couldn’t help it.

He immediately poofed back into himself without the maid outfit, laying on the carpet sadly. “And did they bring you to watch my latest misery? I was so looking forward to Sunday…” he said, looking at Derpy.

Then he noticed ‘John Smith’.

“Oh, hello…say, have we met somewhere before? You seem to be awfully familiar…” he said, watching the chestnut pony with interest.

“Oi, we’ve had dealings before, you and me…nothing quite so formal as face to face, like now, but we’re acquainted…” ‘John’ said, his huge smile beaming.

“Well, I hope I can provide you with some small amusement as those two turn me back into a lawn ornament,” he said, waving at the two Alicorns. “I always knew…wait. Where have we had dealings before?” Discord asked, his head rising up, confused.

“Other someplaces. You’ve got quite a presence across the universe, mate. The Wadi have always loved “The Player of Games”, even when things haven’t always worked out so well for the other players.”

He peered closer at ‘John’. “You’re…”

“Yes?” he asked, his eyebrows waggling.

“Time’s Champion, right? When did you extend into this existential dimension? Sort of outside your usual haunts, isn’t it?” Discord asked, fascinated.

“One of the reasons I came to see you, mate. Bit of a problem…that spell you used to shift time for Derpy? Had repercussions. One of ‘em was me.” ‘John’ said calmly.

“Oh?” asked Discord, studying the face on the chestnut stallion.

“Multiparallel interdimensional temporal rupture. You left the ends open on accident. Can’t fault you over it; time’s a tricky business. Too easy to attract things through the holes left behind, though. May want to leave that be.”

“And why should I even consider that, Time Champion?” Discord asked, minutely examining the manicure of his claw hand. “Sounds just like it’s just up my alley, that sort of Chaos.”

“Lots of reasons. How old are you, mate?” 'John' asked.

Discord sighed ponderously in derision. “You know good and well I swam the Void even before the universe exploded into being. Stop being so obtuse.”

“And you only walk in corporeal form here, in the Magic of this timeline.”

“Certainly.” Discord said flatly.

“Why?” ‘John’ asked.

Discord stopped, puzzled, as he thought about the question.

“You still hold influence over every existence everywhere else. We’ve both opposed each other, and partnered together, when and where needed in other times and places. We’re not really enemies; more like rivals in our dealings, eh? But in all of that, you only exist in a body here. Why?” The Doctor asked.

“Because…” Discord started.

“Bit rhetorical, that question. Yeah…because here, the enemies that would just love to have the living embodiment of Chaos under a hoof didn’t exist; like I didn’t exist. Or, at least, I didn’t…until now.”

“Such as whom?” Discord scoffed. “The only impediments to me are more or less right in this room, save five. And those are all useless without the Elements.”

“The ones most to benefit in finding you like this. The ones that could also come here through those little accidents of yours.”

Discord leaned in, eye to eye with the Doctor, daring him to find one. “Please…” he said scornfully.

“The Weeping Angels.”

Discord’s studied calm cracked a bit at that. Then he smiled. Wickedly.

The smile then brightened a bit more. “Who said I had to stay here ?” as the paw came up…

The Doctor sat down, reached into a pocket…

Discord snapped his fingers, as the poof sounded…

He disappeared…

And then re-appeared. Right where he had been standing.

Discord froze, the paw still lifted, as he examined the faces around him briefly. He quickly re-snapped the fingers, disappearing…

And again re-appeared once more.

He frowned mightily. Then he re-snapped them again…disappeared…

And re-appeared again.

Discord then rapidly snapped his fingers, disappearing and re-appearing, over and over again. During the performance, his body changed. First, him as himself. Then a floating, brightly glowing thing with three strange, serpentine figures rising out of it. An Ood. An Alicorn with reddish mane and a Cutie Mark of ink bottle and quill, which startled both Celestia and Luna in recognition. A humanoid, wearing a trim red and black uniform of sorts, a small badge on his chest, four dots on his collar. An odd, blue cylindrical being with a whimsical smile and innocent but devilishly clever eyes…

A few other indescribable things flashed by…and then The Doctor spoke up.

“Discord.”

Discord froze in shock, once more his usual self, the color draining from him. No ruse or juvenile prank; he was in abject fear.

The Doctor pulled his hoof free of the pocket, held it up. “Dimensional Stabilizer,” he said, gesturing with the hoof and the small device on it. “Not much, almost a toy, really. Keep a couple around for repairs and what not.” He reached with his other hoof, shut the small machine off, and then put it back in his pocket.

“Dimensional shifting, mate. That nasty way Angels take victims. To run off with you, put you away in an alternate reality, and lock you up in your new existence so you can’t escape from it without help from the outside. Just like this did,” he explained, patting the pocket. “It’s their style of murder. To leave you in a prison without walls, frontiers, or borders. And no matter where you go, there you stay. Forever. Dying doesn’t get you out, by the way. Even your body must stay behind in their tiny, horrible box.”

The Doctor stood up, walked over to him.

“How much temporal energy could the Angels gather from trapping the Demigod of Chaos forever within the first scant seconds of Time itself after the Big Bang? Enough, perhaps, to overrun all existence in entirety?”

He put out a hoof, touched the draconequus’ shoulder, felt the trembling. “I’m not the Oncoming Storm to you, Discord. No burning planets in the skies here. You know the risks now. Let me help. I’m quite good at it, you know.”

Fluttershy also felt the trauma that Discord was feeling, leaned against him, trying to reassure him.

Derpy did more than that. She came up, hugged him hard. His surprise quickly subsumed into gratitude as he hugged her back.

‘John’ stared at her. What wonderful kindness she had, he thought to himself. Magnificent. This powerful creature, answerable to only himself, feeling such terror for probably the very first time in all of his existence. And she responds the only way she knows how. What a magnificent being.

Discord looked up, a bit of his insouciance returning. And as true to his nature, he let a bit of himself peek out.

“’Tia, Woony, come on, join in,” he said with a smile, and an outstretched arm.

Celestia rolled her eyes, as Luna recoiled in moderate horror.

“Oh, come on. What’s one or two millennia between friends?” he asked with a smile.

“Discord…ruling over this planet has taught me many things about understanding the point of view of others that may not share mine.” Celestia said studiously. She glanced behind her, where Luna had taken refuge, peeking out from around her.

“First Rule: Don’t push it,” she finished with a scowl.

Discord let out one of his fat chuckles. “And here I thought we’d need a mariachi band to commemorate my joy,” he sniggered, as one mágicoed into existence, playing loudly. Discord added to the din with the trumpet he held, playing along with the band.

“Discord…” Celestia, hoof against her face, said with a pained look.

“Well, I can hardly be blamed for wanting to celebrate, can I? For someone who up until very recently never needed a friend, suddenly I’m awash with them.” Discord was involved in a minor but escalating skirmish with his serape, which lacking anything near what constituted decent shoulders to rest upon, tried to slip down his lean frame every chance it got. It didn’t help that there were still two ponies holding him.

Derpy stared with frank curiosity at Fluttershy’s hat, a pointed crown, wide brimmed, flamboyantly embroidered velvet thing, beading and sequins abounding, with little fuzzy balls dangling from the brim edge in a hideously gruesome orange-brown color. And Fluttershy was staring…

At the one she was wearing, as she glanced up. Hers was similarly appointed, in kelly green. In silent assent, the two of them traded. Derpy didn’t put her new hat back on. Just as silently, she went to ‘John’, swapped his blue one for the orange, which she then put on somberly. Fashion appeased, she went back to hugging Discord.

The Princesses didn’t get hats. Must have been the horns. The serapes were a bit much, though.

Angel was probably grateful for the small poncho over his basket…no one could see him…

“Discord,” Celestia said, a hint of impatient pleading starting to creep into her voice. “…please…”

“Oh, all right.” There was a flash, and the mariachi band, musical instruments, and trappings disappeared. Fluttershy and Derpy both decided to let go of him as well.

The disappointment on Derpy’s face over the loss of her hat must have been evident. There was another flash, and the hats re-appeared on her, Fluttershy, and even ‘John’. Even Luna got her serape back. Celestia looked at her reproachfully.

“What? I kinda like the color…” Luna said shyly in explanation, head down.

“Fine,” she said. Her serape suddenly re-appeared also, but neatly folded across her back, rather than wearing it like Luna was. She sighed.

“Discord, we have history with you, a difficult one. But I promise; we will try our best to treat you kindly, if you’ll do the same for all of Equestria. I know of the Angels; the Doctor informed me once of their proclivities. No being should be made to suffer so, and we shall protect you as we protect our ponies and other lifeforms here.” Celestia said decisively, with a small stamp of her right forehoof as finality.

Luna tapped her on the flank with a hoof. Celestia swiveled her head around, fixated Luna in a piercing stare.

Luna meekly lowered her head. “Sister, I think I can help.”

Celestia spoke softly to her. “Luny, I know how much you dislike him,” Celestia whispered sotto voce. “If the presence of the Doctor heralds a change here, I’d much rather have Discord as an ally than an enemy.”

“I understand, Sister. Trust me.”

Celestia turned aside immediately, and let her Sister come forward.

“Discord,” Luna said, “…I have not been one to trust easily. But I understand loneliness. To bend yourself to Our wishes is difficult. I propose an accommodation...”

“Go on,” he said, paying attention as he leaned back in an imaginary seat. Luna used her aura to remove and neatly fold her serape across her back as she considered her words.

“There are places abandoned and unoccupied, such as the valley nearby, where you can, er, ‘exercise’ your various needs and abilities without harm to others. Entropy is a simple fact of life. Our conflict with you was due to a matter of excess.”

“If you did that, Discord…could I come and watch sometimes? If it isn’t too much trouble, I mean…” Fluttershy said, again tapping the tips of her forehooves together nervously, looking expectantly at the draconequus.

Derpy spoke up. “Me too? I’d like to watch as well…” she asked. She also was looking at him.

“As would I,” said Luna honestly.

“So,” he said calmly, as a teaset and tea appeared for everyone. “I take it we are coming into some sort of accord as a mutual-aid association, then?” he asked as he stirred his tea. Upside down.

Celestia sipped hers, and then smiled. “Exactly.”

“I’m not much of a fighter,” he sighed deeply, an unhappy look on his face. “Last time I tried, I was overtaken and undone by two Alicorns and a handful of baubles. And if that wasn’t embarrassing enough, it happened again by six frou-frou ponies and new bauble necklaces. No offense, Fluttershy.” He craned his neck upside down and took a sip.

“Um…none taken.” She shrank back a bit under the scrutiny.

“Still, an intriguing idea. And no more time shifts, right?” Discord asked.

“At least none undertaken haphazardly, mate.” The Doctor added.

“Places to play?”

Luna nodded.

Discord turned to Derpy. “And what do you think about it?” he asked her.

Derpy suddenly froze. She then bolted for the door.

As she dashed through it, a minor scene erupted in her wake.

“What happened?” Discord asked, confused, as his tea fell to the floor, the tea shattering as the cup splashed into a puddle. “What did I do?”

“Oh, no,” Fluttershy said with alarm.

“Calm down, everypony,“ said Luna. “Celestia?”

“Of course,” she got up gracefully, headed toward the door, just as a chestnut stallion also reached it.

“Doctor, I think I have…”

“No. She needs me. I have to go,” he said, his eyes filled with concern, and something else…

Celestia made a decision. “Together, then.”

They went outside. The object of their search was near the bottom of the path to the house, under a tree filled with birdhouses of all kinds. She was facing back down the road toward her own home.

“Doctor, let me talk to her first.” Celestia said decisively.

“But,” he said, anxiety written on his face, a silly hat askew. “She needs me. I mucked it up with this, and I have to make it right, Princess.”

She smiled affectionately at him. “I know, ‘John’.” She put a kindly hoof on his shoulder. “But let me talk to her first. There are some things a pony needs to talk about with her Princess, rather than a Time Charger. And don’t worry, my pony, she’ll want to talk with you soon enough, as soon as she calms down.”

She started down the path, as he watched. At the bottom, she spoke a few words to the grey mare, and they both started walking towards Derpy’s home.

He left the front of the house, wandering down the path. At the road, underneath that same tree, he sat down, facing the house where the two of them headed as he watched. He took off his hat, holding it with a forehoof, setting himself with certainty. No matter what, no matter anything, he would wait, right here, for her.

Chapter Nine: "...in the background..."

“Well hello, my little pony. I’m wondering why you’re out here alone, when so many of your friends are waiting inside for you,” Celestia said cordially, smiling at the distraught mare under the birdhouse tree, her hat dangling by its cord along her back.

“I can’t do it. It’s not me. It’s not me, Princess...”

“Call me Cely, Derpy,” she said in sunlit tones.

“I can’t possibly do that, Princess. You’re my ruler. This thing…it’s overwhelming me. Ponies I look up to, even ponies I worship, creatures of tremendous power, asking me for advice about things so beyond me…”

“Derpy, could we take a little walk? I find the exercise and fresh air to do me good when I’m thinking about such things.” Celestia asked.

Derpy sighed, nodded dejectedly, trudging alongside the dazzling Alicorn, her head down.

“This is turning out to be quite a lovely day, isn’t it? You never quite know after the Winter Wrap-Up how the remainder of the year might turn out, but things seem to be working out just fine,” Celestia said. “Don’t you think so?”

“I suppose,” the grey mare replied. She took a deep breath, tried again. “I would suppose so, Majesty.”

“I received a request from one Filthy Rich concerning his daughter Diamond Tiara. Something to do about a party?” Celestia pressed.

“Dinky said she was upset and jealous that Princess Luna had let the children come to Canterlot for her Game Night. She doesn’t handle such things very well, like being left out of anything she suddenly deems important,” Derpy commented.

“Ah,” said the Alicorn with a knowing smile. “I understand.” She paused for a few minutes, and then went on.

“Your little filly, Dinky? Cherilee her teacher is very impressed with her. ‘Intelligent, perceptive, talented,’ I believe she said about her. Knowing her mother, I would tend to agree,” Celestia said.

“Thank you, Princess…”

“Cely,” Celestia said, a little firmer.

“Princess Cely,” Derpy said automatically. Celestia sighed ponderously, her cheeks puffing out.

They walked for a few more minutes in silence, until a graceful cottage came into sight.

“Ah, we’re here.” Celestia indicated Derpy’s home. “Would you mind if we went inside for a bit? I’d appreciate some water, and a turn at the facilities. I haven’t gone since the castle, and a pressing need is beginning to overtake me,” she said, smiling.

“Certainly, Princess, please, come in,” Derpy said as she unlocked the door. “There’s a bathroom just over there. Would you like anything else? I may have a muffin…” she said, putting her hat on a rack on the wall.

“No, the bathroom and some water would be fine,” Celestia said, setting her serape on the table, making for the facilities first; leaving Derpy alone with her thoughts.

“Ohh, thank you, Derpy,” Celestia gushed a few moments later when she returned. “You can tell ponies are conditioned response creatures of habit. That throne dais of mine and that stupid waterfall. Just add tea, or any caffeine at all, and my bladder instantly fills. Even a cupful at Fluttershy’s does it. Then it’s the waterfall chanting quietly in your ears, ‘Where’s the bathroom? Where’s the bathroom?’ constantly, over and over again…”

Derpy chuckled behind a hoof; she couldn’t help it. Celestia smiled.

“It’s nice to see you can still smile, Derpy. I was becoming concerned, after what happened,” Celestia said, sitting down on a cushion.

“Celestia…Cely,” Derpy said, as Celestia beamed. “I just don’t know if I can handle all this, having friends like all of you. Thursday, I was always in the background. My friends were noted more for their lack of visibility than their standing out. Vinyl and Tavi are famous in their own way, but nothing like the Equestrian Heroines, or the Princess Diarchy, or the Lord of Chaos! And ‘John’ is a total enigma! And these, titans, known everywhere on sight, are now my friends, and ask me for opinions, when I feel I should scrape myself from their presence in the least noticeable manner...”

She flopped onto the nearby unoccupied sofa, near tears. “Something is going to go wrong, I just know it,” she snuffled.

“Ditzarella Derpemina Esmerelda Von Doo, I am surprised at you. Who amongst us ever said you had nothing to contribute?” Celestia asked calmly.

Derpy goggled at her. “You…you know?” she managed to stutter out.

Celestia chuckled. “I would make a terrible Princess if I didn’t know. Derpy, I can hardly remember one line from the Zebra treaty, and I was reading it just this morning. But like it was moments ago, I remember how your great-great grandparents stood shoulder to shoulder in the Knifeslit Pass against the invading Malokarachavesky as their children fled through the mountains behind them. Their children’s wonderment of ships as they crossed the ocean to come here, alone. I remember the very moment your tiny hooves touched the surface of this planet, as your mother Topsy Turvy gave birth to you, and Smooth Storm your father stood over both of you. The sadness in your heart when your grandmother passed from pneumonia. How you helped care for your grandfather as cancer wracked his body, and how hurt you felt when he died, yet grateful that his pain was ended.”

“I knew the day you found out about swimming, something the others in Cloudsdale teased you unmercifully about. How you discovered flying underwater, and how strong it made your wings. The day those bubbles appeared on your flank.” Celestia levitated the glass of water Derpy left on the table to her, held it steady in her aura.

“I heard the echoes in your head as you went through school, how that hard thing others called ‘math’ made so much sense to you. Your curiosity about everything. How you loved to read. And I heard the cruelty some heaped upon you because of your eyes.” She walked to her, sat near her as she covered her with a wing, like her mother did when she was upset, as Derpy cried. She handed her the water.

“I felt it all, just as I feel it with everyone, Derpy. Treaties are just words on a piece of paper. I have archives for those. Remembering this about you…that’s what’s important.”

Derpy drank some of the water, trying to calm down. “You remember all that…”

“And more. The Wonderbolts. The day you came to Canterlot for college. That crazy harpist roommate of yours, Lyra. The chronoton discovery. The anticipated triumph, the reality of failure. How you drifted in disappointment…”

“And your former husband,” Celestia said calmly.

Derpy froze, stock still on the cushion in her living room in shock. Celestia turned her head and looked at her.

“The Canterlot Attorney General’s office was not very happy. They were rather looking forward to sending him to the Shattered Hooves Correctional Facility. The EUP Law Enforcement Hazardous Warrant Team was on the way to take him into custody that very night.”

She went on, matter-of-factly. “The breeding for Dinky happened days before, hadn’t it? Then he started with the machine, the forbidden dark magic of Necromancy, a psionic entity…and the minute the get was confirmed of your pregnancy, how the real horror began.”

Derpy shivered violently, sickened as the feelings flooded back. The beatings, and the drugs, the isolation, and the pain. The wing snuggled her closer.

“I sent a champion to you. I could not do what had to be done, and the EUP would have died in vain. I found the only one who could help, and sent them to free you from the house of bones that monster sought to build,” Celestia said quietly.

“I remember so little of it…” Derpy said, though her body was saying the exact opposite with every tremor and flinch. She drank the rest of the water, trembling, and Celestia used her aura to put the glass back in the kitchen.

Celestia didn’t speak of the obscenity her former husband had done to her, probing her with tools and magic, waiting for the opportune moment to cut her open to reach the tiny foal that would soon be growing within her, to bind the foal to some horrific thing he had fallen under the sway of. Not that he had been forced into that servitude; he had welcomed it with loving forelegs. How the warrior had arrived just as the skin knife had been dragged along her belly, the blood welling up, and the maniacal laughter as her husband reveled in what he was going to do. The short, intense, violent confrontation that followed. The burns Derpy suffered before he managed to free her, just before the two of them would have died. The treatment Celestia herself had given, with hardly any rest or break other than to raise and lower the sun and moon; as her advisors were put in the uncomfortable position of doing exactly, ‘What Would Celestia Do?’ while she tended the grey Pegasus. The terrible toxins she removed from Derpy, then for safety’s sake, teleported into the raging fires of the Dragon’s Kiln, the most active volcano on the planet itself for destruction. And how amazingly well she had healed without horrible scarring due to Celestia’s efforts.

Then one night, she watched the painful, fitful sleep the grey Pegasus was enduring…and dimmed the memories Derpy held of the terrible event as well, as Celestia’s compassion had demanded. Derpy did not recall much of the horrendous experience, because Celestia had made sure of it.

No. No reason to see the return of that terror upon the kind Pegasus. It was unneeded, and unkind. She went on elsewhere.

“Derpy. Those who seek after power, sometimes, are the very last ponies that should have it bestowed upon them. I would rather have the opinions of a pony that was resistant to give them, than the free-flowing musings of insanity, or those of manipulators.” Celestia looked up and out at a world only she could see in her mind’s eye.

“We are slowly ending the threats to everypony here on our planet. But I am worried that The Doctor’s arrival heralds the beginning of a new type of conflict, one of creatures from beyond which we cannot yet stop without help. He is a tremendous factor in that, but, we still need to marshal our own resources as well,” Celestia said candidly. “If what you say is correct, and I believe it is, your intelligent estimation and kindly acceptance of one of the most powerful creatures on this planet may have just helped turn the tide more in our favor…and all by you just being you.”

Derpy responded in the only way she could to that. She hugged Celestia. It was lovingly returned, by a being that needed many more of them. The kindness being shown to The Princess of Day was gentle rain on parched earth.

Celestia smiled brilliantly, her eyes moist and bright. “Well, if we have settled it that quickly…we need to get back with the others. There is one very concerned Time Charger in a silly hat waiting,” she said, as she levitated her serape once more onto her back. Though she wouldn’t admit it publicly, she liked the colors of hers immensely as well.

As they walked back, Celestia watched her Sun reaching zenith. Amazing how full the morning had been, she thought to herself. Soon, the day would ebb, she would capture her celestial body; though she pretty much felt all she was doing was insuring its continued passage around the opposite side of the world, and Luna would do the same releasing hers. It did help that the Moon actually moved west to east, and her Sun east to west. Otherwise, the Raising Celebrations would be even more complicated than they were.

They both walked back in relative silence, thinking, each about their own little part in this play. As they crested the small hill, Derpy pointed.

“Is that…him?” she asked, incredulously.

“Yes, it is. Ridiculous hat and all.”

“He’s been there all this time?” Derpy asked, still not quite believing it.

“From the moment we left, Derpy. He’s…well; he’s quite concerned for you. I told him we needed a few moments to talk alone. I must admit, though, I didn’t expect him to stay out here to wait for you,” she stated, as the distant figure took to waving the outrageous hat at them. “But, I also have to say, I’m not surprised he did it, either.” Celestia chuckled. “He’s rather impulsive; let’s his emotions lead him where they will. And they led him to wait right there while holding that hat.”

Derpy watched the chestnut pony with the orange hat thoughtfully…

He ran up to them, smiling at the mailmare. “And?” he asked in a hopeful rush.

Derpy smiled at his enthusiasm, she couldn’t help it. “Oh, stop it, clever boy. You knew I’d figure it out eventually.”

He frowned a tiny bit. “Em…was that a no, or a yes? Mares can be confusing,” he said, sitting down in the middle of the road, rubbing his head again. Derpy went straight for his tie.

“Why does this thing keep getting askew? Is it sentient, or something else bizarre?” she said as she fixed it. Celestia chuckled, kept walking toward Fluttershy’s home.

“There. Come on, let’s see this through,” Derpy said, as she smiled.

A few minutes later, all of them, including Princess Twilight Sparkle, and a new Alicorn he’d never seen before, both summoned by a note sent by Luna and who arrived by teleport, crowded into Fluttershy’s living room. She was introduced as one ‘Princess Cadance’ from someplace up to the North called ‘The Crystal Empire’.

“You look absolutely lovely like that, Cadance,” Celestia said, as she took in the Crystal Pony appearance, the translucent rose colored body and intricately styled mane and tail, as they hugged.

Cadance laughed. “My ponies and I like it a lot, too, Celestia. I decided to just stay like this, rather than change back and forth depending on where I am. Luna’s message said you had an urgent need…”

‘John’ stared at the newcomer. She was radically different than the others; her body was translucent and crystal-like, though the physiology still looked and moved like a biochemical one did. Light transmission definitely was involved; he could see shadows and reflections, and watched the light from the window pass through her, but there was absolutely no sign of anything like internal organs or skeletal support that he could identify even with intense scrutiny. Even her mane and tail were translucent and highly stylized. Intrigued, he followed her with his eyes as she sat near Twilight, after doing some ritualistic dance with her concerning ladybugs. Cadance was unnervingly aware of his inspection, and was relieved when Derpy sat between her and him.

Cadance suddenly let out with a startled, screamy “Hey!” a few seconds later. She had looked over to see that ‘John’ was reaching around Derpy, and had started buzzing her with a bright blue light that made a strange pattern on the wall beyond her as it passed through.

Derpy blanched, whirled on him. “What do you think you’re doing?” she demanded loudly.

“She’s not rock. She’s shiny and translucenty-gemmy like a rock, but she’s not one. But she doesn’t look like she even has the usual stuff inside a pony, like lungs or a heart or a tummy. It’s like she’s a living Jelly Foal. I can’t even see bones. She should just squishy right to the floor. But she doesn’t. How does she do that? How do you do that?” he asked Princess Cadance of the Crystal Empire.

There were a hoof-full of immediate reactions. Cadance was so far beyond shocked, ‘traumatized’ would have only made the footnotes. Derpy was mortified, completely and thoroughly. Twilight was a close second, with a large helping of anxiety thrown in for her sister in-law. Fluttershy had taken to peeking around Twilight after a startled *eeep*, wondering if the crazy alien was going to buzzy her next, just like she was frightened before of other such raucous things happening. The Diarchy was evenly split between facehooves and exasperation, and slowly oscillated between them. And Discord…

Was trying to asphyxiate himself with laughter. The more he looked at everyone, the more hysterical the laughing became.

Suddenly, it all caught up to The Doctor with the alias of ‘John Smith’.

“I did a thick again, didn’t I?” he asked, beet red with embarrassment, as he slowly put away his Sonic Screwdriver.

“‘John, what did I tell you about thinking?” Derpy said, aggrieved. She held out a hoof.

“What?”

“Give it to me,” she said, using the same tone she reserved for Dinky after the craft cutting wheel occasion, the disassembly of the toaster event, the fireworks experiment with the CMC’s…and the blue food dye incident. The ‘Mom’ look was being sternly applied as well.

‘John’ sheepishly handed it to her without a word.

“You’ll get this back at the end of the semester,” she said, “…or sooner, if you behave.” She sat down firmly next to him with the utter authority of a mother severely enforcing limits and boundaries with an unruly foal of hers.

Discord laughed even harder, as he gave ‘John” a thumbs-up.

I couldn’t have done better if I had planned it, Discord thought to himself…

Once everyone had calmed down, Princess Celestia brought everyone back to the task at hand.

“Well, if there are no further ‘faux-pas’, we can now continue,” she said, giving ‘John’ a significant look, which was duplicated on most present, the notable exceptions being Fluttershy, who saved all her significant looks for her “Stare”, and Discord, who being Discord, had enjoyed the entire incident immensely.

‘John’ wilted significantly under the scrutiny, his ears drooping.

Celestia quickly continued, rather than let The Doctor become the focus of the gathering. “Princess Cadance, Princess Twilight Sparkle: what has occurred previously here was the beginning of the establishment of a non-aggression and mutual aid pact between the represented groups. Although Fluttershy has proven to be an able representative,” she smiled gently, as the yellow Pegasus blushed, “…Princess Luna correctly felt that the point had been reached that the Leader of the Equestrian Heroines was needed for her input. The Princess of the Crystal Empire was also sought out for the same reason.”

Fluttershy continued to smile, well, shyly, after the mention of her name. Excusing herself, she went to make refreshments. Shy she may be, but she did enjoy the occasional stroking of her ego.

“Princess Cadance, we shall go over the previous information with you, to include the, er, ‘pony’,” Celestia said with emphasis, to include even using her forehooves in the air to insert the ‘quotes’, “…that startled you. Though to be fair, he’s only been a pony for what, two days?”

Cadance suddenly was staring wide-eyed at the chestnut stallion. He gazed at the floor as he rubbed the back of his neck vigorously.

“Well, even with saying that, I understand how she feels,” ‘John’ said. “I’m sorry, I’m terribly sorry. Just never met a translucent life form before. It’s brilliant, by the way. I won’t ask what happens when you eat. Definitely not a good idea.”

There was a sudden fleeting moment when all the individuals present, including the subject pony, wondered the exact same thing. Cadance made a mental note to spend some time after lunch one day in private to investigate.

“Two days?” Cadance asked.

“I’m what was called in my original form a ‘Time Lord’…” ‘John’ began, summarizing the process and events leading to his presence. When he finished, she stared at him even more.

“Well, when you put it that way, I think you’re doing fairly well. Your apology is warmly accepted,” she said with a smile.

‘John’ brightened immensely. “Why, thank you, Princess Cadance.” He smiled at Derpy next.

“Well, all right,” Derpy said, handing back his Sonic Screwdriver. “No more pointing that at friends, okay?”

He took it, stuffed it into its pocket.

“Does that explain why you’re here, Discord?” Cadance asked next.

“More or less. I’m certainly as threatened as all of you are, if not more so. And everypony is also interested in giving me more latitude to allow my expression of self, as it were. Though with him around,” he said, pointing and sniggering, “…I hardly have to lift a digit one.”

‘John’s’ head drooped an increment.

Discord sighed ponderously. “This friendship thing has proven to be a novel concept for me, but it has its advantages. I’m in.”

“No qualifications?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, I’m sure all of you have stipulations. I’m willing to listen.”

Twilight looked at Celestia, surprised.

“We are going to allow him places to exercise his abilities without harming others. I am wondering about interactions with the general populace, though. Chocolate rain is fairly benign. Turning others into creatures or inanimate objects, even with consent, might be different.” Celestia was remembering something Twilight Sparkle herself once did to her parents, turning them into potted plants with normal magic, though that was accidental.

“And I draw the line at Dark Magic or Necromancy,” Celestia finished.

Discord sighed once more. “Of course.”

“She has a point about Dark Magic and Necromancy, Discord,” Twilight pointed out.

“This is really about Nightmare Night last year with me dressing up as a zombie, isn’t it?” Discord said defensively.

Twilight shuddered. “Discord, you didn’t ‘dress up’ at all. You actually were a ZOMBIE! You were scaring everypony half to death!”

Discord sighed again. “See? I told you so.” He turned to face Twilight. “Everypony at the library liked it. I won the best costume trophy, remember? You’re just mad that your Starswirl the Bearded didn’t win. Again. After four tries, don’t you think you should try to be somepony else?” he said, aggrieved.

“All right, all right,” Celestia said, raising a hoof in truce. “I understand Chaos Magic doesn’t neatly fit into the ‘light’ or the ‘dark’, Discord. One of the reasons for you to have your own place among us. This has to do with those more like Derpy, who have a more narrow understanding of what ‘magic’ like that entails, and could be frightened by the effects. Also, those with irrational requests that change their essential nature permanently.”

Derpy nodded. “I can see some doing just that. Like wanting to be a Windigo, not realizing that doing it would be restraining yourself for all time,” she said, thinking about having to live forever while confined to a high mountain top.

Celestia smiled. “Even so; all existence has tradeoffs. A planet filled with Pegasi or Unicorns or even Alicorns is not healthy for us. Thirteen million Time Chargers or Earth ponies, for example.”

“Or Discords,” Twilight Sparkle pointed out.

Discord snorted derisively. “Oh, all right, though I really don’t see what the problem would be if there were thirteen million of me…”

“Really? How about thirteen million Pinkie Pies?” Twilight asked pointedly.

He shrugged. “Not so bad...”

“Or that many of me?” retorted Twilight.

Discord’s eyes went wide. “Okay. I get it now.” He poofed into existence a white gallon bottle, popped open the top of his skull, and lifted his brain out of his head with his paw. He then rinsed it out with the contents of the bottle, marked ‘Brain Bleach’.

While everypony else looked on in shock or restrained horror, Derpy giggled.

He shook it out, and then replaced it in his head, closing the top of his skull with a thunk as his eyes rolled around a bit.

“There,” he said with finality. “Better,” as the bottle disappeared.

Twilight facehooved, not at all happy that she was once more the butt of one of Discord’s jokes.

She had a sudden thought, rounded on ‘John’.

“So, you said a time ‘accident’…” Twilight stated, all the way to doing the ‘airquotes’ with her front hooves, “…brought you down here…”

“Multiparallel interdimensional temporal rupture, Princess,” said ‘John’ factually.

“…due to Discord tweaking the time line while helping Derpy,” she continued.

“Near as we can tell, yes. I could firm that up a bit more with a few minutes using my instrumentality, but it fits the situation. Occam’s Razor and all that.”

There were several post-secondary educations in that room, and almost everypony knew about ‘The Razor’.

“…’John’…I myself used a time travel spell; nothing this intense came about.” Twilight Sparkle finished.

‘John’ frowned a bit. “Mind?” he said, as he pulled his Sonic Screwdriver out.

Twilight started a bit, but stood her ground. “Go ahead,” she said, with more confidence than she felt.

‘John’ buzzed about her with the tool, then glanced at it.

“Aha!” he shouted, making everyone jump. “You only bent things up, not broke them completely. Close one, that.” He looked at her. “Tell me all about it.”

Twilight went on to tell ‘John’ when she used a Time Travel spell to warn herself not to try to change things, not realizing until later that her trip set the very events she was seeking to influence into motion in the first place.

“It’s ‘cause you mucked up your own line, Princess. You didn’t influence anyone, anypony, or anything else, you tried to issue a warning to yourself that set the thing into motion, eh?” he chuckled.

“Well…”

“See, your future self came back to reassure your past self, and by doing so, inadvertently put you, past self, into a panic intense enough that you, past self, made that exact tiny sound that started the avalanche.”

Twilight just stared. She thought she had him on a point of logic, and was suddenly surprised to find herself dangling from the horns of that particular minotaur.

“You came back for the warning. You didn’t do anything in the past as future Twilight except talk; and you didn’t do anything while you, as past Twilight in that now, involved yourself only in listening. No harm, no foul.”

“No harm! I was a total wreck the entire time…!”

“But your own wreck, Princess. You, fortunately at that, just had a little chat. It’s when you came out and started to act on that chat that things went wibbley-wobbly, timey-wimey on you. You skewed your own line, not broke it, thankfully. The advice you gave yourself wasn’t heeded, so it wasn’t as if you incorporated and accommodated future events; you gave ‘em the boot. Once more, a lesson in leaving Time in the hooves of a professional,” ‘John’ said cheekily.

Twilight just stared at the pony in the outlandish hat, as she willed her blood pressure downward, rather than burst. Into flame.

He had turned his back on Twilight to smile at Derpy, as Twilight worked mightily to calm herself.

“‘John’…” said Derpy uneasily.

“Eh, what?” he asked in a chipper voice.

“‘John’, go and quietly apologize to the nice Alicorn Princess…before she reaches the conclusion that it’s easier to just incinerate you,” Derpy said, watching Twilight warily.

His face blanched. “Told you, I’m rubbish as a pony,” he said, running over to do just that.

A little while later, they had a decent preliminary agreement. Discord agreed to become a member in defense of Equestria; in return, he was given much wider latitude to interact with those that desired it, as well as places where he had a much freer rein to indulge himself in Chaos, though any arising cult praising him would be required to just praise him, no rites or encouragements of entropy.

Cadance would also stand up in defense as needed. She would also get to participate more directly in Equestrian policy making with a larger role, rather than stay isolated. Cadance smiled at that; she had been hinting around for just that sort of accommodation.

Twilight and the Heroines would be allowed to join in any defense as usual, but gain latitude as where best to place their efforts, and be informed as to the reasons of their orders, if such orders were issued. Twilight also was granted a concession to learn what she wanted as to the day to day routine of Equestrian administration, ‘just in case’. That last had also been offered to Cadance as well.

The Doctor agreed to establishment as himself as the protector of Equestria from extra-equestrial threats, as well as the point leadership in dealing with them. He was also designated the technology lead pony, as well as Derpy as his assistant.

The Diarchy would maintain their responsibilities over equestrial threats, as well as magical ones. There were also concessions given to the other Alicorns to occasionally wield Canterlot authority and give the Diarchy some relief. Celestia took full advantage of it immediately, passing on the responsibility of the next Grand Galloping Gala to Princess Cadance as host, even allowing Cadence to hold the event at Canterlot as usual, or Crystal Citadel in the Empire. Cadance dubiously accepted; a little taken aback as to just how fast Celestia handed it off to her.

Luna snickered.

Derpy rapidly became the pony to ask questions of in regard to the opinions of the more normal equine inhabitants of Equestria. She immediately cornered Luna right after the gathering to express her discomfort in making decisions for every Earth, Unicorn, and Pegasus citizen on the planet.

Luna laid a reassuring hoof on her shoulder. “Do not worry, my friend. Your function here, if I understand it right, is to function as a conscience for us, Derpy. You are our ethical standard-bearer.”

Luna sat down and looked at her. “Celestia and I try our absolute best to stand and remain ethical in all we do. But let me propose a hypothetical. We’re at war, a terrible war that is hardly dissimilar than the ones the Time Charger has been involved in. Say that somehow, Celestia was taken from us. The stress, the emptiness, the terror, works upon our minds. It would be up to you to try to keep us from falling into the madness.”

Derpy stared at her, incredulous. “How would I be able to influence anypony in that situation, Luna?” she asked. “I’d be hard pressed to maintain my own sanity in those circumstances.”

Luna smiled. “We never said such a thing as what you have been tasked with would be easy, my friend. We only ask that you try to find a way.” She patted her shoulder as she got up to leave.

‘John’ and Derpy left for her home as well, as Derpy considered her words.

Chapter Ten: The Doctor's Apprentice

Twilight Sparkle and Princess Cadance decided to walk back to Ponyville and talk.

“So, has that all happened today, Twi? You’ve had a busy day so far, and it’s only half over,” Cadance said, impressed.

“I know. First came ‘John’ and that machine, a ride in Luna’s coach, meeting with my friends about that nutty space stallion from Croupwich, wherever that is, followed by teleporting to Fluttershy’s home, and then an informal advisory meeting for a draft mutual defense treaty…I used to think the hardest thing I had to do was that ‘Trade Judge’ thing…that, and smiling and waving.”

Cadance chuckled. “And you were worried nopony thought you, or what you did, important. See what happens? You start ruminating over your role in life, and then life drops something like this into it. I’ve been reading about this philosophy; how the energy you impart into life is reflected in how your life changes. You felt you have no real role; so life up and gives you a real serious one.”

“Interesting concept,” Twilight said, bemused.

“I think it’s more about positive thinking than anything else, Lil’ Sis, but if it’s true, you may want to be a little more optimistic about your circumstances. Who knows what’s lurking out there to suddenly surprise you?” Cadance pointed out.

“I suppose,” Twilight sighed. They walked on a bit more before Twilight spoke up again.

“What do you think about all this, Cadance?”

“I think we’re going to be busy for awhile. It’s not all that bad an idea to put a plan like this into place, Twilight. Celestia has teased me a bit about ‘What Ifs’ off and on for two years, even though the most sinister thing that has raised its head around the Crystal Empire after Sombra and the Heart has been if we’ll have adequate bathrooms for everypony during the Games.”

The two of them laughed, and then continued the discussion, now focused on the Equestrian Games…

“So, what was your take on that?” ‘John’ asked Derpy, as they walked into Derpy’s home. He saw the hooks on the wall where Derpy had hung her hat. He decided to put his next to hers.

“I don’t quite know yet. I suppose it’s a good idea to get some ideas down and delegate some responsibilities, but the generalities are a little; what is it you say? ‘Dodgy?’”

She sighed. “‘John’, I’d really like to see Dinky. I need to hold my little touchstone of my life for a bit, ground myself. Too many heady things too fast. Please, let’s go see my little filly.” Derpy said, pleading starting to seep out of her face.

“Of course, luv. Mares first. Happy to help,” he said warmly, as they went to the back door.

A few minutes later, they opened the doors of the TARDIS on the Palace Labyrinth. Derpy stood and watched slightly anxiously as ‘John’ locked it up.

“There. Who should we seek out to ask?” ‘John’ posed.

“I have no idea. We could try the Princesses, unless we got here first. And I don’t know how much visiting they were planning to do at Fluttershy’s, though I think they were coming right back. If they used magic, they might already be here. If they are flying, it takes twenty-three minutes, depending on winds,” Derpy said, “…though I believe the Princesses can transit the distance a bit faster than that.”

“Lionheart told me about a Steward around here that helps run things. He said if I needed to talk to him, that’s who to see. If he can find Lionheart, he should also know how to find out where the children are. Care to try him first?” ‘John’ asked helpfully.

“That appears to be the first logical choice, rather than my speculation. Most of the Castle is unlimited access, but it would make sense to have an information cart or booth near the entrance for visitor assistance. Even if it was unoccupied self-service, there should be information on brochures or flyers with useable contact information. Next logical would be to ask the Guard, who would have procedures in place to deal with lost guests. Either option should prove adequate.”

‘John’ looked at her in astonishment. Cute and giggly and adorable she may be, but there was an incredible mind working behind those endearing, silly eyes. Her logic was thorough, and impeccable.

“Sounds good. Let’s try it,” he said, grinning.

“That was an interesting conclusion set you came up with,” he added, as they started walking.

“Oh, that. I’m sure you and I could re-trace our steps straight to the Throne Room, actually, but we’re unescorted, and we’d be intercepted. Now, depending on the bureaucracy, we’d have to wait one to several hours until we were identified and released. And we aren’t here to see them, anyway, so I really don’t see that as a solution. We could ask for the Princesses, if they’re even here, but there would still be delays to meet them, and it’s still an oblique way of going about it.”

“Now, if we contact the bureaucracy through its usual functions, we would still have delays; but we have built in shortcuts to use.”

They arrived at the information booth, which was occupied by a nice, helpful mare.

“Pardon me, Miss…my name is Derpy Doo, and this is, um, ‘John Smith’” she said with a bright smile. “My daughter is here with some friends for Gamer Night with Princess Luna, and, well, I need to see her. Princess Luna’s personal Guard Nightwing Threstral Lionheart told us to contact the Steward here. Could you help us out?”

The mare’s eyes widened. “Please, would you both wait a moment? I have to talk to the Guard about it.”

She stood up from her cushion, walked to a nearby Guard on his post. She engaged him in animated conversation for a few seconds, as he looked at the two visitors waiting at the booth.

The Guard departed as the mare returned. “The Guard has gone to bring the Steward, who can help you with that. Would you like to read a brochure in the meantime? He should be here in a moment.”

“Thanks. I’ll take these here,” ‘John’ decided, picking up a few to look at. He continued, sotto voce to Derpy.

“Is there a word better than brilliant? I have to find one. Brilliant isn’t good enough for you, you lovely thing,” he said with a chuckle.

“I’m afraid I’m not entirely straight up regarding this either, actually. Ponies like to help each other. I’ll go further and say ponies want to help each other. I traded a bit on my appearance, the ‘dumb blonde’ thing, to help nudge this effort along. As well as interpreting reaching and speaking to the Steward being useful for more than just contacting Lionheart. Normally I try to stay away from it, not indulging stereotypes, but I’m having an interesting weekend, and I’m off-balance a bit emotionally. It’s about Dinky. Sue me.”

“Not enough solicitors to pull that off, luv. You’re too clever by half,” he said admiringly, as he leafed through his pamphlets. There were all sorts of things about tapestries, artwork, and all the usual things found in castles. He even sifted through the armory information. He did find it interesting that almost all the arms inside were very old, and not in use for almost a thousand years. He was sure that there were more modern takes on arms than the things in the brochure, especially where magic was concerned. Still, most of the Guard he had seen had stuck with basic pole arms, halberds now being the most issued, though they still wore antique patterned armor barding. He took that to meaning missile weapons probably weren’t in wide use, much less firearms. Unicorns would be at an immediate, possibly devastating advantage the very second enough of those less concerned about the horrific destruction they would be causing suddenly decided to overthrow the government while using the bow and arrow.

The Canterlot Castle Grounds themselves were much larger than what could be seen from the Ponyville side. The faerie tale Castle perched on the side of a mountain was extraordinarily dramatic, with the waterfalls and the tunnels for the train and such, but not all that big, really. In reality, Canterlot was actually much larger, if you knew it extended over the table-like opposite side away from that dramatic pose, with bridges crossing over the extraordinarily deep canyon between the two peaks. The Canterlot Canton was fairly good sized, a small, compact city with most of the amenities, including a University. The roadway from the farmland below ran up that normally unseen side, with graceful switchbacks for those ahoof. The rest were like those Princess Luna employed early this morning…flying ponies.

He was interrupted in his musings by an older but trim pony with a decidedly military bearing about him and a dark blue and white shortcoat uniform jacket, without insignia, that ‘John’ had seen on a few ponies in charge around the castle. He was moving with innate authority right to them.

He leaned over to whisper to Derpy. “Bet that one was a Brigadier around here.”

Derpy laughed, ran up and into the waiting forelegs of the older stallion. “Wilfred Lance! It’s SO GOOD to see you!” she said, laughing like a schoolgirl.

“Miss Derpy! I couldn’t wait to get here when they told me you were here! How are you?” he said, delighted.

‘John’ felt his cheeks get hot. Jealousy? No! Yes? No. Well…yes.

He looked at the two of them again, felt his blood pressure increase. Welll…

“I’m just wonderful. How come you’re not stalking around here smoking up the troops? Where’s your Royal Guard uniform?” Derpy asked, puzzled.

“Derpy, hun, I’m retired!” Lance said, laughing. “How many centuries do you think I should put into this? I got my thirty, was thinking going Civil Service into the mail like you and On Time, when the Princesses buttonholed me and set me to work here running the joint. Besides, it’s safer, even with changelings. Speaking of the old war horse, how’s On Time these days?”

“His leg gets sore when a low pressure area cycles through and makes him a little grouchy, but other than that, he’s the same big fella he always is.”

A small sound, as ‘John’ cleared his throat.

“Oh, hey, Wilf, I want you to meet…”

“Well, hello, Doctor, how are you today? Things going okay with you? I haven’t seen you for what, four years or so?” Wilfred Lance said heartily, pumping the chestnut pony’s hoof.

“Hullo, Lance. Good to see you, too. Things are just fine, mate,” he said, concealing his surprise well, as Derpy tried to work through her confusion.

“Listen, mate…Derpy’s looking for her daughter Dinky. Happen to know about it?” ‘John’ asked smoothly.

“Know? I walked the kids to their rooms myself. The colt managed to throw himself into vertigo because of one of those hoofheld game machines moments after they arrived; Princess Luna was showing off, did a high-performance landing in the outer courtyard. Picked his head up just as she had them start decent, next thing you know, he hurls his Trixies and apple juice; thank the Princesses it was OUTSIDE the carriage. That velvet is hard to get clean. And hey, Derps, that filly of yours is a charmer; got more smarts than the rest put together. Other than that, I’ve been putting all my time in on the Cutie Mark Crusaders.” He rolled his eyes in an exaggerated way. “Those three are more single-minded than a platoon of EUP Sea Marines on liberty call in their pursuits.”

“Pursuits of what?” asked Derpy innocently.

“Nevermind, not important now,” said ‘John’, jumping in quickly. “She wants to drop in and say hi to her girl, mate. Can you take us?”

“Sure, this way,” he said, gesturing with a hoof. “Why didn’t you come by earlier? I figured you two would have at least stopped by to chase down an old Sergeant Major, but you came and went so fast, and the next minute, even the Princesses had gone. The Secretariat of State was a little miffed. Another one of those STFU missions of yours, Doc?” Wilf Lance asked conspiratorially.

“Sort of,” said ‘John’, smiling brightly.

“Well, that factors in. Princess Luna made a stop at the secure vault just before they pulled their little disappearing act. The kids are just ahead in the guest dormitory. Hey Derps…are you still flying solo nowadays?”

“You can be so nosey, Wilfred Lance…a complete buttinski, like Mom says.”

“That being ‘yes’, huh, Doc. Don’t matter now, I can always spoil your kid, Derps,” Lance said. His wife had left him recently, being far more erratic than what he understood at the time when they got married thirty-plus years ago. His foals were grown, and those with the smarts stayed away from her, (and through proximity, him, since it was expected that they would visit both parents), and those without any brains, (yet), were busy being strangled by apron strings. It was a particular sore spot with him.

They passed through the archway just outside the dorm, then a pair of good sized doors. The dormitory had a large-sized reception area/dayroom, and a pair of monitors, one male, one female. They stood up and became attentive when they saw the Steward.

“Artemis, Janus, stand down. This is Miss Derpy. She’s Miss Dinky’s mother, and would like to visit with her a bit. Artemis, please ask Miss Dinky to come to the dayroom, but don’t mention her mother, she deserves the surprise. And then check Miss Scootaloo, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle again, and ask if their Squires require anything. When she comes back from her walkthrough, Janus, you do the same for Master Mash and his attendant. I’ll be available shortly to collect the group for the Castle Tour, so please make sure they are prepared.”

The two “Sir’s” came back to him, as he turned back to his own little group. Derpy was looking at him with amusement, merriment in her eyes.

“What?” asked Steward Lance, perplexed.

“You. As far as I ever knew, you only had three volume settings on your voice. Threatening whisper, very loud, and even louder. Normal and reasonable was never a factor. The incongruity is sorta funny, Wilf.”

He chuckled. “Different kind of troop, Derps. Soldiers expect and respond to the Sar-Major bellowing orders at them. They appreciate that. As Steward, I’m speaking with the voice and authority of the Princesses when I give an order. Nopony takes it well when the Diarchy is screaming at them.”

They were interrupted by a wonderful bellow of “MOM!!” from a pale violet Unicorn coming down the hall in a joyful clattering gallop, in front of a smiling monitor.

Derpy sat down, gathered up the giggling, wriggling, smooching filly in her forelegs with a fierce hug.

Lance laid a foreleg over ‘John’s’ shoulders.

“Doc, that’s what you miss the most. They still love you and care for you when they’re older, but you still wish they were eight, sometimes,” he said, with a tear in his eye and a catch in his throat.

‘John’ watched with sadness, as he felt knives twisting in his chest.

He envied her. Envied both her and Lance, as he watched an animated Dinky talking nonstop to her Mom, in the forelegs of her loving mother.

Steward Lance glanced out of the corner of his eye…and was thoroughly confused.

The Doctor looked like he had been eviscerated; like whatever held him up inside had suddenly disappeared. He’d always seen the stallion holding up his end heroically, with tremendous courage.

Poor guy, he thought. Hard to stay calm and strong when your heart was tearing out.

He sympathized.

“We’re going on our tour soon, Derpy. Would you want to come? You and Doc here? No trouble to bring you along,” Wilf said kindly.

“No, I just needed a bit,” she said with a smile, ruffling Dinky’s mane.” Just nervous mother stuff. The Doctor and I have some other things to do, and I don’t want to push myself into her fun, right, Dink? I’m so bad at video games, I’d embarrass everyone.” She gave the little filly a kiss.

“I’ll be waiting by our ride,” she said to ‘John’, as she winged her way out of the castle.

Wilf Lance frowned. “Hey, Doc. You two have something going on?”

“Eh? Like what, mate?” ‘John’ replied quietly, as he watched the grey form winging out of the castle wistfully. He turned to the little unicorn filly.

“Dinky; you’re the best. I mean that. If I had a daughter…if I had a daughter, I’d hope she’d be as wonderful as you…” he said a little sadly, as he turned to leave.

Steward Lance stared with surprise at the chestnut stallion as he walked away. Then he sat down.

“Maybe I’ll hang out here, and try to puzzle this out instead…” he said, bewildered.

“John’ walked toward the gate out of the castle slowly, all his usual mania gone. Wilf wasn’t the only pony looking at the odd chestnut pony askance. The way he was shuffling along, head down, made him look a few days older than just those seven hundred weighty years bearing down on his back.

Alone.

There were several hundred ponies here, and of those, tens within his sight. Yet, he felt he was sitting above the galaxy in his TARDIS, watching the imperceptible turning of the starry arms from the open door, with nothing but the open space around him.

Alone.

He liked his life, for the most part. Unencumbered. Flip a switch, pull a lever, and off to a new adventure. Oh, certainly, there were all those Companions that traveled too, for a time. Stalwart friends, most. That stewardess had been an annoyance; but even then, she had been company for a time. The wild girl. The very clever boy.

Sarah Jane.
Romana.
Rose.

He sat down heavily on a vacant bench just inside the inner courtyard.

“Damn you, Wilf. Rubbish. Talk about a family. Never needed one. I’ve an entire cosmos…what do I need of a family? I’m The Wizard of the Traveling Box, I am. Go anywhere, do anything! Off on a whim to save the entire universe. That’s me.”

Alone?

‘John’ shook his head to clear it. Enough. He stood back up, squared himself, and found enough inside his shell to tack on a smile. Maybe some old-fashioned work would settle him.

He pushed the feelings down, stuffed them into a handy box for the time being. They’d sneak back out of their own accord in time, but for the now they were quiet. And the now was what he needed.

Determinedly, he once more set off for the TARDIS. And except for the one little line between his eyes and a tiny, scant lowering of his brows, apparently unencumbered again.

A short time later, he arrived back at the TARDIS. True to her word, Derpy was waiting just outside.

She was somewhat concerned after she saw his face. She wasn’t all the way in tune with his various moods, but she could see the tiny frown of uncertainty.

“‘John’, is something bothering you?” she asked, troubled by the change in him. The smile wasn’t fooling her a bit.

“Eh? Oh, nothing, luv. Thinking about something. Pay it no nevermind. Now, then, let’s have a look at your little machine, ‘gizmo’ you called it? Not a bad name. Not at all…” he said, but the distraction remained just under the surface.

He opened the door, followed her inside…

A short time later, Derpy and ‘John’ were scrutinizing her ‘gizmo’, as she called it.

“How come Wilf knows who you are?” Derpy asked, as she lifted another panel up.

Still frowning a tiny bit, ‘John’ answered, “I’ve a problem as a Time Charger with non-linearity. Ponies or people. Events in the future appearing in the past. Somewhere along, I’ll meet Wilf in his past a few years back, in my future. Can be tricky, but usually, you go along a bit. Twilight’s trip into hers points it up. Try too hard, and the future can influence the past, which influences the future, which further influences the past. Can get completely lost if you aren’t careful.”

“Oh. Okay, I got it. Minimize impacting the past so the future isn’t affected.” She stuck her head inside.

“That’s the ticket. Be happy, but vague. Try to let the past be itself,” he went on, as he dipped into another open panel, looking at the various components inside.

‘John’ became more and more impressed as they fiddled with it. The concern he had carried faded away as they worked.

“Where’s the dimension lock?” he asked, pulling out his head to look at her.

Derpy, her head still buried inside the device up to her shoulders, pointed vaguely to another open panel. He stuck his head into it.

“Is that your oscillation overthruster?” He poked around a bit. “Oi, that’s brilliant! I know humans at the Banzai Institute that would toss in their entire development budget and a slightly used Jet Car to see how you did that.”

“Why’s that, ‘John’? And what’s a ‘Jet Car’?” came her voice from inside the machine.

“Well, they’re trying to tie their dimensional sifter to the…never mind, this is a better design anyway.” He pulled his head back out.

“This thing is inspired, luv. From what I’ve seen so far, it should have done exactly what you designed it to do. If the briode nebulizer was primed properly…” he muttered.

Derpy suddenly pulled out and stuck a blonde head up. “A what?”

“Briode nebulizer.”

She stared at him, confused.

“Oh, hold on a tick, I’ll show you…” he said, putting his head back in and looking…

He pulled his head back out, excited. “Oi! That explains it! There’s no field bias in this thing! Derpy. Have you ever heard of a briode nebulizer?” ‘John’ asked excitedly.

“Well there was that Doctor that stopped by two months ago…” she said peevishly.

“Don’t be cheeky. Time machines need to be primed with symbiotic cells from a Time Lord to function properly. Otherwise time travel breaks down the individual experiencing it, if it manages to work at all.”

“And how did the first machine coming on-line as a travel device work properly until one of you time-travelers could figure out what you needed to prime it with?” she asked reasonably.

He froze, mouth wide open. She snickered.

“Not quite so clever are you, clever boy.”

“Well…”

“This is an easy one, if you ever picked up books other than engineering and physics,” she went on, still smug about it.

He glared at her. “And?” he asked, irritably.

“Chiral. Molecular handedness?” she asked confidently, forelegs folded over each other.

He continued to stare, not comprehending.

“Molecular handedness. You know…organic chemistry? Circular light polarization. Amino acids make up proteins, like in our bodies. They are chirals, mirror reflections of one another. Plane polarized light passing through the molecule picks up a rotation; turning right is considered dextrorotatory after it travels through the molecule. Its enantiomer is a mirrored chiral, exactly the same molecule chemically, with levorotatory, a left turning light property. And almost all life uses the levorotary amino acid molecules.”

“And so?”

“I’ll bet you your TARDIS that if we introduced a small field bias in my gizmo…” she said, as she pulled open another panel and stuck her head in, “…rather than the neutral field I worked very hard to achieve…” as three small circuit boards appeared, tossed out of the open panel by her onto the floor, “…and running the field normally…” she continued as her head popped out, her hoof reaching into a bin of parts, grabbing some edge connectors, some other odd bits, and a good sized bundle of jumper wires, then stuffing themselves all back inside the open panel.

“Em…” she temporalized. Then she thought of something as she levered a forehoof out.

“Gimmie,” she said in a slightly muffled voice from inside the machine, her hoof gesturing.

“What?” he asked, perplexed.

“That Screwdriver gadget of yours…” she replied, the hoof gesturing again.

“You’ve no idea how to use it, luv!” ‘John’ said, agitated.

“How hard could it be? You manage.” There was a fat chuckle as she laughed at her little joke. “Gimmie; I have to place and hold these jumpers and things while connecting them.”

“No. Just…no. It’s not like…”

“‘John’, have a little faith. Trust me,” she said confidently.

He pulled it out of his coat; put it in the proffered hoof. “If you blow it up, I’ll be MOST unhappy,” he growled.

She laughed, as she pulled her hoof into the open door, the little tool with it. There was a quiet buzzing…

“Okay then…isolator set ‘A’ to position one…now isolator ‘B’ to position two…master control to…okay…primary feedback…sensitivity…and negative loop…positive loop…bias detection sensor…”

“And done,” she said as she popped back out; she started to hand the tool back to him, as he stared in bewilderment, while reaching up to close the panel. And hesitated.

“Wait a second…” she said, as an idea hit her. ‘John’ could have swore he actually saw the little light bulb over her head, with the small pull chain, as it clicked on…

“Why does this thing need biasing? This gizmo should have worked right out of the box. If you have to put a bias on, something it works with has to have…”

Her eyes closed. And she started to write. In the air before her. ‘John’ watched, fascinated, as Derpy started writing statements in front of her. Functions. Constants. He had to concentrate a bit, he was seeing them as if he was looking at them from behind a glass board she was writing on with an eraseable whiteboard pen. Completely reversed.

The calculus ramped up quickly. Theoretical Physics. Impressive Theoretical Physics. She rubbed out one section with a hoof, jotted new expressions into the imaginary space. His mind clicked as the new figures enlivened an entire section of math on the imaginary board. She almost had it…the ‘handedness’ of the entire universe, the edge the machine used to run itself, paired with the handedness of molecular biology to protect what was inside…

“AHA!!” she crowed, rubbing all over the ethereal plane she was scribbling on, pulling out one equation set, and boldly, triumphantly stroking the fictitious pen across the make-believe surface, all the way to almost breaking the fantasy writing implement as she victoriously closed the last set of parenthesis.

“GOT YOU!!” she laughed, as she stuck her head back in the machine, and the Sonic Screwdriver buzzed in counterpoint…

“Okay…now I’m done!” she chuckled, handing the tool back to him as he stared at her in now total astonishment, as she reached for the panel door once more.

“Wait. Just wait. I’ve a need to…”

“Oh, just go ahead and look. I need the bathroom, anyway,” she grumbled, leaving the panel open and stalking off, tail held high in the air as he watched.

“Oh, fine,” he said mockingly, as she walked out of the room, turned the corner. He stuck his head into the open panel…

Two edge connectors were neatly inserted into a pair of the original card slots; the new wiring had been carefully trimmed to size and efficiently routed to the proper points amongst connectors, components, and other devices, then carefully sealed. The two feedback loops had their delicate chips carefully rewired by jumpers and some tiny bridging surface mounted sockets with new components installed. And in their midst, a revised control card built from discreet components now nestled snugly in the third card slot, right alongside the fourth card, which was still in its original spot, though a few of the new wires now bridged to it.

She had done the job effortlessly. In many ways, better than he would have.

He pulled his head out, stared at the doorway with narrowed eyes as he deliberated. He thought about the delicate, faerie-like components knitted by hoof into a pair of new field bias detector/generators, the incredibly small pieces put into service…by the same mare that wrote all over her books with the same delicate skill and care. She had fearlessly pulled the useless c-cards without hesitation, dived in with what to him was useless junk, and within three minutes, revised the machine to make it work correctly, without schematic or flow chart. The imaginary air board mathematics he’d just witnessed was even more amazing. Even with a Sonic Screwdriver, it was no mean feat.

Then, he started to relax, the toothy grin finding its accustomed place on his face. He reached up, closed the panel door.

Why do I have the sneaking suspicion it works perfectly fine now? he thought.

She came back to the room a few moments later, a nonplussed look on her face. She sat down next to ‘John’, and stared at her machine, her eyes wide.

“Feel better now?” he asked conversationally.

She looked at him, bewildered.

“That…has to be the strangest, most complicated plumbing setup I have ever been involved with…”

“Err…sorry about that, luv. Guest lavatory. The normal one is the door opposite. I really should have helped…”

“Oh, thank you, no,” she said pointedly, holding up a hoof. “Having instructions as to use barked at me by a speaker in a half-dozen strange languages was bad enough. Listening to you suggesting helpful comments through the door…and that one thing, with all the various probes, right where you had to look at it…”

“Uh, that wasn’t for your species; you didn’t use it, did you?” he asked, concerned…and a bit jealous.

“If I had, I think I would need to get married again, seriously. I found an approximately useful seat after about three minutes, though the acrobatics of it were annoying, since it was mounted on the wall, six feet above the floor! There aren’t sentient giraffes somewhere, are there? And what the hay were the three seashells for?”

He started to reply…

She shook her head. “Never mind, I do not want to know,” she said as she tapped a forehoof fretfully on the floor.

Derpy went on. “I hope that sheet of The Guardian I had to use doesn’t end up stopping up your works. Your Montgomery Ward’s catalog was out of pages. If you want, I could take you shopping at the store for normal, soft, gentle toilet paper. I have a coupon for ‘Soft Cloud’ to save you some bits. ‘Preferred two to one by Pegasi'.”

She looked at him significantly.

‘John’ took the hint. He spread his forelegs wide in surrender, hooves held up. “When do you want to go?”

She smiled. “I’ll get a roll out of the house when we’re back for the time being, but next time we’re in town, we’ll pick up some, okay?”

“Perfect. Go ahead and turn it on.”

She frowned. “Really? Do you think…”

‘John’ smiled. “Aren’t you sure?”

Derpy paused, as she thought about it. ‘John’ knew she was reviewing her machine in her mind.

“Power source?” she asked.

‘John’ took the Screwdriver, pointed it at the ‘gizmo’. As he played the buzzing tool over the casing, he smiled warmly.

“Give ‘er a go now. It’s tapped into the Eye at the moment.”

Derpy went over, set the initiator to ‘on’, and the system to ‘standby’. “Countdown to activation?” she asked, excitement creeping into her voice.

‘John Smith’ chuckled. “Ten seconds is traditional, Derpy. Seems like most beings enjoy counting down those to something happening. Hard to ignore tradition, eh?”

She dialed it in. “I’m keeping the original sequence.”

“No problems, luv. Got plenty of room for it.”

She reached for the activation switch, hesitated. “‘John’,” she said…

“It’s time, luv. Time for you to know. Big step. Turn it on.”

She threw it to the ‘on’ position, slowly walked over to him.

“…and five, four, three, two, one…” he said, grinning.

There was a peculiar sound…she turned around to watch at the ‘three’…and saw TWO ‘gizmos’ sitting side-by-side! She stared, heavily shaken. He put a foreleg over her shoulder as he continued counting...

At ‘zero’, the right ‘gizmo’ repeated the odd sound; not the ‘vvorp’ the TARDIS made, but…different…

And disappeared.

The Doctor kept the count, now moving forward, as Derpy slipped to her knees, astonished. At ‘ten’, the machine on the left hummed to a stop.

She stared at it, eyes wide in astonishment, as she shook her head. ‘John’ walked up to it, flicked it off, and disabled the initiator.

He ran a quick scan with the Screwdriver. “Wellll” he drawled, “…not all you could get. Needs a revision circuit; the TARDIS handled the tiny poke in the continuum, but all in all, a competent first try. You’d have found the problem right off once you offloaded the data for analysis.” He scratched a hoof along the back of his neck. “Trachoid time crystals would do…or whatever that brilliant noggin of yours figures out.”

He turned to her, beaming.

“It worked…” Derpy whispered, stunned, staring at the squat ellipsoid that a minute ago turned the universe of dimensional linearity inside out for Equestria.

“Wrong tense, luv. Works. You’ve built the first Equestrian TARDIS.” He bowed to her. “Welcome to the club, Time Charger.”

Her wings pomfed erect. “Woohoo!!” she cried, launching herself into the air, an accomplished set of barrel rolls and figure-eights being executed in the limited space. He watched, his maniacal grin with the teeth in place on his face.

She suddenly sobered, landed near him. “Time Charger? I’m no Time Charger, ‘John’,” she said quietly, head down.

“Well…perhaps not, not quite yet, anyway. Work in progress. Howsabout ‘Apprentice’, eh? That work? I think that works.”

She smiled. “Okay, I’ll go along with that. And thanks.”

“For what, luv?”

“Oh, not letting me forget or forgo a part of me I wanted to bury and ignore. I thought it was just too much to bring this back. Turns out it makes me feel more complete.” She went over, ran a hoof along ‘gizmo’s’ casing. “Just like you feel about yours,” she whispered contentedly.

“Wha’s that, luv?”

“Oh, never mind, just a thought I was having.” She turned back and looked at him. “So, where’s the maintenance and repair book on your machine?” she asked.

“It’s rubbish. I had it holding up a leg on the hat rack for some years. Don’t know where it’s gone off to,” said ‘John’ defensively.

Derpy went over to the hat rack, craned her neck a bit to read the title on the book now propping it up…

“Oh, look…‘Organic Chemistry’. Why am I not surprised?” she said derisively.

He rubbed a hoof on the back of his neck as he avoided her eyes.

“I know who to ask,” she declared, as she marched up to the center console.

“WHAT?” he cried, as she flipped the communication switch on, turned the monitor to look at it.

“Um, TARDIS…this is Derpy. I’m the one that adjusted your torque sensors, and you helped my little ‘gizmo’ just now. The Doctor says there’s a maintenance and repair book for you somewhere in here, but he forgot where he put it. Can you help me find it?” she asked calmly.

“She’ll never answer you. She gets jealous of females,” he said, a defensive tone creeping into his voice.

“Really?” she said, as she turned the screen to face him. An internal map was being displayed with a flashing point showing on it. “Then what’s this?” she asked.

“What?” he asked of no one in particular, stunned.

She walked off for a moment. A minute or two later, she returned, a book in her teeth.

She set it down on the console, looked at the Time Charger. “Why do you have a squash court?”

“What? Oh! I like squash. Good exercise.”

“Well, you need to mop it out; it smells like an old rancid gym in there. You’d propped the door open with this. When was the last time you used it?”

“Er…”

“Thought so. Go get a bucket and clean it out for her.” She addressed the console. “Thank you, dear. Now, give me the top five things you need looking at that I can handle, and a tool. I’ll do my best.”

“Now, see here!” he cried, stamping a hoof.

“‘John’,” she said calmly, laying a gentle hoof against his lips. She started fiddling with his tie. “Doctor,” she smiled, “…I know how much you love this machine. And I’m very sure that there is some sentience within her that reciprocates. And you do your best, really. But she needs a mechanic, an engineer, not a pilot. Somepony that feels the nuts and bolts of things. She has problems. Even if they still work, those parts are stressed, sometimes stressed far more than they should be.” She pulled the knot up into place.

“There.” She smiled warmly. “You’re not going to lose the character of her if I get in and tune her correctly, or fix parts, or even put in better stuff. But it will make her feel so much better. And that’s a good thing for her, right?”

He stared at her balefully, as she stared back innocently. After a minute, her cuteness field had the upper hoof.

“Fine!” he said, tossing his forehooves in the air. “Do what you want!” he started to say…as a gentle grey hoof touched his lips again.

“No, Doctor. Not that way. Team. All of us together; that’s the right way. The torque sensors were one thing that had to be immediate to help her. But this is all three of us. It won’t take hardly any time at all if we work together.”

He wanted to stay upset with her; but those golden-green eyes were just so kind and trusting…and winning.

He managed to hold off another three seconds or so, before he silently nodded assent under that gentle grey hoof. There was a click, followed by a ding, like a kitchen timer would have.

She removed the hoof from his muzzle, reached across the console, where a tool waited in a holder.

“My own little buzzy thing,” she said softly. She smiled as she turned it over in her hooves. “I’ve never had a tool that works by thinking through it. It’s a wonderful idea, by the way.” She patted the console affectionately. “Thank you, sweetheart, this is very kind of you. Now,” she said, flipping through the book, then stopping at a particular page, “…‘John’, TARDIS, if somepony would point me at the ‘sequence stabilizer’ under this platform, I’d like to get a little work in. And ‘John’, before you come help, please, mop out that squash court…it lingers.” She went down the ramp, hooked a right, and disappeared into the maze of conduits and cabling under the platform and time rotor.

He stared after the grey flank with the bubbles on it.

He sighed ponderously. “I wonder if Discord can get me my own maid uniform.” There was a bleep, and a light blinked twice on the console.

“All right, all right!” he said impatiently, as he went down the ramp, and turned left. “You do realize this would be much easier if I still had me hands, you mad old box. And on a mild suspicion, I think you might want to re-configure your rooms to put the janitorial closet closer in. As neat as she keeps her own, I’m dreading that I’m to be spending most times here with a bucket and cleanser…”

Derpy smiled under the platform as she pulled a corroded plug free from a cable, its new twin waiting patiently nearby, listening to the grumbling stallion as he stalked out…

You know, I could get used to this, she idly thought, her fixing Zen full-on for the first time in years, as she used her Sonic Spanner to set the new cable end in place, dropping the old one in the recycling bucket. It’s nice to have somepony else clean for once while I wrench on parts. Yeah, I could really get used to this…

She smiled even brighter. And read books with me. Go shopping with. Talk to…

She pulled off another bad one, put its replacement in place. She fused it on.

Even the running may end up being nice…she thought incongruously.

Chapter Eleven: The Hunt Begins

Steward Lance walked the youngsters around the castle, giving the usual tour information; the tapestries, artwork, historical events, the litany of facts he learned to guide the tour. Normally, a Docent would conduct the walkthrough, but Lance took pride in being able to do any of the jobs his people did. He even knew how to do some simple canapés, learned from the Head Chef herself.

“…and here is Princess Celestia’s very own “Shaft of Light”, Her Highness’ halberd she used in the conflict with King Sombra against the King himself. There are various nicks in the shaft and blade from Sombra’s Crystal Scythe, though the Armorer has repaired the weapon from the most egregious damage,” he said, gesturing toward the halberd, as they stood in the castle Armory.

Sweetie Belle raised a hoof.

“Yes, Mistress Belle?” Steward Lance asked.

“Mister Steward Lance, sir,” she asked earnestly, “…are there any more fights? Fights where they use things like that?” she asked.

“Mistress Belle, the Shaft of Light has not left this display other than for cleaning or maintenance in my entire lifetime. In fact, my young filly, this weapon has not been couched, meaning put into use, since Her Highness brought it back to the Armory herself, for many hundreds of years.”

Steward Lance laughed internally as he watched the wide eyes in front of him. To the small fillies and colt, he probably appeared at least as ancient as Starswirl the Bearded, which would make the halberd somewhere around one third of the age of the universe itself.

“Wow,” Button Mash said, terribly impressed.

Wilf Lance smiled. “Exactly, Master Mash. We shall now leave for the Royal Garden. Please, attend me.”

The group was walking through the Gardens, admiring the statues, as Steward Lance related the stories behind the various statuary and some of the individuals represented by them. He also had voluminous information on the strictly art pieces, the names, artists, representations, all that sort of thing.

They came to a particular statue. And for once, Lance’s encyclopedic knowledge failed him completely.

“Hmmm…” he said, contemplatively.

“Sorry, Steward Lance?” asked Dinky, concerned. That’s very odd, she thought. He knows everything on just about everything. Why would a silly statue confuse him?

“I don’t remember this one, Mistress Dinky. In point of fact, I do not recall this particular piece at all. There are two hundred forty-two pieces of statuary for the Gardens, which are usually rotated every year for even weathering of all of them, as well as keeping the views fresh. I am unsure where this particular piece came from.”

“Why would somepony rear it up and make it with its legs over its eyes? It makes the face hard to see…”

“I do not know, Mistress Bloom,” the Steward said.

“It’s like its crying,” came from Scootaloo.

“I don’t like it,” declared Button Mash haughtily.

Dinky had an opinion as to why. Button was a bit younger than the girls because of how his birthday fit into the school year, and he was kind of coddled by his Mom. Every once in awhile, something would go wrong around him, and instead of shaking it off and trying again like Dinky’s Mom taught her to do, Button would start crying. He probably didn’t like being reminded about that.

Dinky never understood why Sweetie Belle liked him, but that was okay, because, well, Sweetie Belle liked him. She acted a lot like her older sister Rarity whenever Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon decided to pick on Button. Sweetie Belle was the master at mind burns; she had a real talent at twisting things around and putting it back on the two spoiled girls. It was fun to watch.

Steward Lance stepped back in. “In any case, we shall proceed to the Palace Labyrinth hedge maze. I shall do some research later on this piece and let you know what I discover. This way, please…”

“‘John’…what is a Weeping Angel?” she asked, confused, as they took a break in between tasks. She was contemplating the small entry in the repair manual; warning of, ‘unforeseen circumstances’ where the time movement vector wasn’t sufficiently buffered. Especially in the light of the discussion over at Fluttershy’s home.

He looked at her with trepidation. Drawing a deep breath, he began…

“They’re hunters, luv. Psychopaths. Humanoid, or in this existence, probably would be ponyoid. Been around almost since the beginning of Time itself, supposedly.” He sat down on the platform.

“Only creatures in existence that for the most part will kill you nicely,” he sighed. “They take their victims into the past and live off their time energy that they give off as they live out the remaining time of their life. Usually the victim is in a solitary existence, never gets to be with another ever again. The fear of always being alone makes the energy taste better, I suppose.”

He ran a hoof along the edge of the console. “It’s why Discord and the Princesses are in such danger from the things, luv. If an Angel were to find Discord, It could take him as far back as near the beginning of the universe. And Discord may live all the way to entropic death of the ‘verse as well. The energy produced by that…it would be near unlimited. Same goes for the Princesses, just not as much; although the difference between ‘All’, and ‘Well, Not Quite All, But a Fair, Close Second’, hardly matters much in that case.”

“The danger applies to me as well. Plus, my ‘hoofprint’ is both wider and longer. I’ve been to the Start and the End of existence. I’m not exactly a hors d’oeuvre platter. More along a twelve-course meal. The TARDIS is a tasty treat, too. Though that’s harder. The old girl has defences against creatures like that. Plus, she can shift in time and dimensions both laterally and forward as well.”

Derpy was dumbfounded. A killer that used time as a weapon?

“How do you stop them?” she asked quietly, concerned.

“More important. What do you do when you see one? Don’t blink. Blink, and you’re dead. Don’t turn your back. Don’t look away. And don’t blink,” the Doctor said emphatically.

“They’re unique, see?” he continued. “None have ever been seen moving. Don’t even know what that looks like, because of ‘quantum locking’. You look at them; they freeze into the statue form. They can’t even look at each other, because they freeze in the lock and may not ever move again. They’re extremely resistant to physical attack. Very strong. And staring in their eyes can infect your optic nerves, eventually turning you into an Angel. Video doesn’t prevent it; they can infect the eyes even through that.”

“Time paradoxes poison the time nourishment. Living after you had died, for example. It’s possible to burst one with a Sonic Screwdriver, but it takes time. Time a victim usually is not likely to have, much less the tool. And like other living things…starvation. Without energy, they weather and fall apart. They’re not just limited to time energy for food; starship engine radiation can be used, or electricity, though that’s a poor substitute. I’ve no idea on magic, luv. If they could consume that, they would absolutely destroy Equestria. The next to fall would be this entire existence. Then, everywhere, like parasites; an infection that can’t be stopped.”

He smiled at her. “S’not like they’re common, Derpy. Rare things, those. Circumstances work against them, mostly. Having to not be seen. Plus, they don’t exist here; astronomical odds just for me to pop in. Even higher hurtles for an Angel. I’d not worry, luv,” he said reassuringly.

She turned away. Yet, here you are, she thought to herself.

Steward Lance spoke to the Guard at the entrance of the maze as the fillies, laughing, ran into it. “There is a statue out of place just outside the Heroes Walk, near Clover the Clever’s plinth. A rampant pony-sized enrobed Pegasi I’ve never seen before with its forehooves over its eyes as if weeping. It’s not one of the Royal Museum’s statuary. If it’s a new commissioned work, I wasn’t informed, and I want it back in storage until it’s been properly cataloged and added to the rotation. Notify the Curator or her representative of the error, take their name, and then return to report to me. Go.”

The Guard saluted, went to carry out her order.

Lance turned back to Button.

Steward Lance looked on the brown colt reproachfully. “Master Mash, this hedge maze, the Palace Labyrinth, has been around for a very long time. Most ponies sooner or later visit it, and most of those will attempt the challenge of it. You do not have to do this; it is an elective activity, but you might want to reconsider. Most find the experience memorable.”

Button wavered a bit. ”I’m not good at things like this, Mister Steward. And everyone will laugh at me.”

Lance smiled. “Colt, I was never good at these things, either. I had to work at it. Just like video games; you have to work at it to get better. It’s what makes a pony strong; meeting challenges, then overcoming them. After the Guard returns, you come with me, and I’ll show you how to do it.”
As he turned with Button toward the entrance, he froze. There was a statue in the entryway. A familiar statue.

“Sir, that looks like…” Button started to say.

Lance’s eyes narrowed. The hooves were away from the face on this one, but the form was almost identical to…

The hackles of his mane started to stand up. To Lance, that was a familiar feeling he trusted.

Danger.

His horn glowed as his aura materialized around a tubular holster on his belt. A cylindrical object with a nonslip grip appeared, raised in front and a little to his right. It flicked sideways with a nudge of his aura, and a long metal baton extended with a threatening ‘CLACK’.

Steward Lance, former Sar-Major of the Canterlot Equestrian Guard, nudged Button away gently, as he steeled his muscles, and his resolve.

“Get behind me, Button,” he ordered, turning to face the statue head on, the baton ready at en guarde, as he steadied it for the defense en quarte. He stared at the statue at the upper neck as he had been trained, and refined through skirmish after skirmish, his peripheral vision taking in the body adequately to catch motion early enough to counter it. Though he was confused as to exactly what was happening, his trusted his instincts explicitly, and they were fairly screaming something extremely dangerous was in front of him.

“Sir…?”

“Button…listen very carefully. Retreat to the castle, and speak to the guard at the gate. Tell him about this statue. Use my name, and tell him, ‘Hoofhold’. Remember that, it’s very important. ‘Hoofhold’. Tell him four children are in the maze, and the entrance guard is on a detail for me. I want the Security Detachment out here to lock that thing up in a dungeon until I find out EXACTLY what it is. Follow his orders. Go, now.”

“But…”

Lance turned his face to look at him from the corner of his eye. “Now, Button…”

He disappeared. The baton made a slight thump as it hit the ground.

Button stared at the stature that was now standing just behind where Steward Lance had been. It had a scary face, with terrible, long, frightening fangs…

He rounded toward the castle…and disappeared as well…

The Angel took up a new position inside the Palace Labyrinth, its forehooves back alongside its eyes, in an instant. The flow of energy picked up as it stiffened intentionally.

Such easy hunting, it thought to itself.

A few minutes later, the Guard returned. She frowned darkly when she found that the Steward wasn’t where he was when she left. He was a former Sar-Major, you’d think he’d be more motivated…

There on the ground, was an extendible security baton. Opened and deployed.

The Guard unlocked it and collapsed it against her armor. She then slid the fighting blades out on her shoes, pulled out a tube that had been clipped on the belt of her armor. Pointing it upward, she pulled the initiation cord on the bottom of it with her aura.

The red star launched upward, and then held over her position, glowing brightly. She called over her halberd next, and took up the First Position, the halberd couched and ready. She would remain like that until her Senior NCO of the Guard Mount arrived.

The first was the lead EUP Pegasus of the flight team. She saw the star, rolled left out of the holding racetrack, dropped altitude, then re-established a new racetrack with the marker at the center and above her new current altitude to keep it clear. Her hoof found the pickle switch of her launcher.

The orange and yellow maned mare took up her visual scan. Whatever was going on, she was ready.

The Sergeant of the Guard ran up with two other Guard ponies. Seeing the Unicorn with the halberd couched and set, the fighting blades on the shoes opened to the ‘ready’ position, he slowed to a walk.

“Six,” she challenged, her eyes narrowed, sleek muscles under the armor readied to engage in battle.

I need to remember to commend this soldier, the Sergeant thought to himself. The two of them knew each other for three years, even associated with each other socially off duty with friends, yet the Corporal was fully in her duty, even to challenging him with the password, though she knew him by sight.

“Three,” he said. The numbers added to nine, which was the password. Any number could be given, as long as the countersign and the challenge added up to the number assigned for the day.

She relaxed visibly, bringing the halberd up to parade rest.

“Report,” he said crisply.

“Sergeant, the Steward sent me on a detail to speak with the Curator of the Royal Museum or their representative regarding an unknown statue outside the Heroes Walk near Clover the Clever’s plinth. A rampant pony-sized enrobed Pegasi with its forehooves over its eyes as if weeping, he said. He also stated it’s not one of the Royal Museum’s normal statuary, possibly a new commissioned work he was not informed of, and that it was out of place. He wanted it back in storage until it’s been properly cataloged and added to the rotation. I carried out his order and reported back, but the Steward was not here. I found this, opened and readied for employment,” she stated calmly, as she handed the security baton to the Sergeant.

He looked at one of his companions. “Verify that statue, and report back,” he told him. The Guard took off.

“Was anypony with the Steward?” the Sergeant asked.

“The young brown colt from the group he was escorting was with him. The other four fillies were in the Palace Labyrinth.”

He turned to his other escort. “Go find them and bring them back here.” The other Guard left to carry out her order.

“Did you try to find him?”

“No, Sergeant. Orders are to maintain my post on watch, and to relay to the senior non-commissioned officer of the Guard Watch of any incidents outside of my standing orders. I believed the Steward would have waited until my return, maintaining the watch before leaving, especially since he ordered me to pass on to him the name of the pony at the Royal Museum I gave the information to. When I found the baton on the ground, deployed…” she gestured, “…I sent up the alert.”

“I agree, Corporal. Maintain your post; I’ll assume the responsibility regarding this from now on. And good work,” he added, smiling. He hoofed over a new signal launcher.

“Thank you, Sergeant,” she said, as she again took up her post outside the Labyrinth.

He stared at the baton as he turned it over in his hoof, noting the initials ‘WL’ on the pommel and the EUP crest engraved above them.

He recalled that night a few years ago when his troops presented the baton to Lance at his retirement ceremony. The regiment had all chipped in to buy him the usual memorial ceremonial crop, but just before getting it, they all heard of his impending appointment to Steward. Slightly drunk, the more senior Non-Coms decided that the Steward didn’t need a goofy, gilded mini-whip to carry around inside the castle, especially around his two new bosses; and so they decided to get him something eminently more practical. He could always use it to point at things needing doing while he bellowed, just like he could with the riding crop. Not that Lance needed anything to convey authority; he had a stare that would stop Queen Chrysalis in her tracks.

No, he thought. Something was wrong. Lance was bothered enough by something that he felt he needed to take out and deploy this baton. And now both he and the colt were missing.

He was interrupted by a returning Guard. “Sarge, there’s nothing different in the statues, and nothing on the Heroes Walk that doesn’t belong there.”

He sighed deeply. Lance wasn’t anypony given to exaggeration or histrionics. If he said something was a way, it was that way. What could be making a statue appear and disappear, and why? To what end?

A few minutes after that, the second Guard returned with four bewildered fillies in tow. She brought them to the Sergeant.

The Sergeant raised his eyebrows. Without a word he asked the question…Where was the Steward and the colt?

The Guard, a Sergeant of lower rank, shook her head. He nodded.

“Kids, have any of you seen the Steward or your colt friend since you went into the Labyrinth?” he asked, a little stilted. He wasn’t all that good with youngsters.

He had his answer as the girls all looked at each other, confusion on their faces. He shook his head.

“Okay. Fillies, please follow me, we’re gonna head on back now. Claymore, on my authority, go fetch the duty platoon and bring them here. Get them organized and on search for that colt and the Steward. Charlie sweep first. If they're not found, go directly to an Alpha sweep. Call in extra troops if you need them. Mark and move,” he said.

As he reached up with his aura and pulled down the magic flare, extinguishing it, the fillies all looked at each other again. All of them were thinking the exact same thing as Spitfire changed altitude again and went back to her standby racetrack.

What happened?

The Sergeant of the Guard Watch walked into the Throne Room; saluted crisply. “Your Majesty, the Steward and the young colt visiting for Gamer Night appear to be missing. After a cursory primary first search, which assumed the missing ponies were only injured, incapacitated, or ill, and wanting but unable to seek help, they have not been found on the grounds,” he said factually as he reported to Celestia. He handed her the Steward’s baton. “This was found deployed at the Labyrinth post. A full in depth search is now underway.”

“Does anypony remember what the Royal Steward spoke of when he was last seen?” Celestia asked. Her voice was calm and composed, but the Sergeant noted she turned the baton over and over in her hoof nervously.

“Majesty, the Steward was investigating a new statue out of place in the Royal Gardens, one he had not seen before. He wondered if it was a new commission. The Guard on duty reports being detailed by the Steward to find the Museum Curator or a Docent to have the statue removed and retained at the Museum until it could be properly be entered into the rotation,” he continued.

“New statue? We have not commissioned new works. What did this statue look like?” Celestia pressed further.

“It was not of the scale of the Heroics, Majesty…more pony sized. According to the order given to the Guard, it was a rampant enrobed Pegasi, but posed in an unusual way; the forehooves were made so they were over the eyes, as if it was blinded or weeping.”

Celestia flinched. The baton clanked to the floor, before Celestia used her aura to pick it up and set it gently upon a cushion there on the throne dais.

I’ve never seen the Princess flinch before, the Guard Sergeant thought.

“Sergeant…we require the Officer of the Guard forthwith. In the meantime, you are directed to establish and maintain security level two in Canterlot immediately. All ponies not directly involved in essential daily operations are to be calmly, gently, and discreetly escorted from the grounds, the tunnels closed, and the drawbridge raised. What particular groups are currently on the grounds at our invite?” Celestia asked.

“None, other than Princess Luna’s Gamer Night group. The Ponytones were re-scheduled for late next week after the event conflict was found, so Princess Luna could still attend after her on-site inspections of the Night Guard in Manehatten on Monday and Fillydelphia Wednesday. I would have to arrange special transportation for the children; they are minors,” the Sergeant replied.

“No. For the time being, and until we learn more, maintain the children at the guest dormitory, but increase the security presence by a platoon. Ask Our Sister to attend to them and reassure them against their fears regarding their missing friend at her convenience. Brief the Guard to be watching for this statue during their search for the missing ponies. Should it be located, none are to approach it, but to put it under direct observation at a discrete distance with as many Guards as are necessary. Be prudent, Sergeant, and detail enough Guard to maintain the observation without failure or error.”

“As you wish, Majesty. Any further orders?” he asked.

“Not at this time, Sergeant. The Officer of the Guard may make changes once we speak with her. You are dismissed, and may leave our presence to carry out your orders forthwith.”

“As you wish, Majesty.” He straightened to attention, saluted, then left for the barracks to fetch the Officer of the Guard first.

Celestia stared at the floor pensively as she thought. Could their greatest fears be true?

She came to a decision. Once she discussed the situation with the Officer of the Guard, she would seek out the one pony that could shed some light on this.

“Whadya think happened?” Apple Bloom asked.

“I don’t know, but everyone looks pretty worried,” Scootaloo said, a foreleg over Sweetie Belle’s shoulder. She was crying softly.

Dinky thought rapidly. “Something happened that has everypony upset. Something they never had happen before.” She stood up from her cushion.

“What happened to Button?” Sweetie Belle sobbed.

Dinky came over, picked up her hoof, and looked into her eyes. “I don’t know, Sweetie. But Mom and Mister ‘John’ are here; I talked to them. They’re both very smart. They can help.” He stroked her mane reassuringly.

Scootaloo spoke up. “We could…”

“Scoots, that’s not a good idea. We should stay here, not do something that might interrupt them,” Dinky said.

“But Dinks…”

“Nuh-uh. They don’t need the Cutie Mark Crusaders acting like Leeroy Jenkins. We need to help them. That means we have to stay out of their way.” She smiled kindly. “Besides, Sweetie Belle needs us more,” she said, as she stroked her mane.

Button Mash’s Squire was distressed. Granted, the Steward had taken possession of the children for the Grounds Tour, but the Squire, like most of the ponies assigned to Canterlot, took great pride in his responsibilities. The fillies’ Squires still had things to do for their nervous and upset charges, but he was suddenly displaced from his duty. And he didn’t care for it one little bit.

He walked out of the dormitory, and joined in the search. He felt his responsibility lay at least with trying to help. If the Guard found him useless or obtrusive, they could always order him away. In the meantime, another set of eyes certainly wouldn’t hurt.

And he’d been getting away with it fairly easily, too. No pony really challenged him until he was fairly deep within the Palace Labyrinth.

He had just finished looking in a dead end and was on his way out, when he almost tripped on a pair of Guards coming the other way.

“Hold!” one of them commanded. The Squire stood calmly as they approached.

The other blurted out first. “Hey, I know you! You’re Quarterstaff’s kid, Kary…Kamby…”

“Kali, sir. His eldest.”

“That’s it, Kali! What are you doing running around by yourself in the Palace Labyrinth? Everypony’s been put into lockdown.”

“I know I’m not supposed to be out here…but the colt kid. He was my charge, until the Steward took them all around on the Tour. Kinda feel responsible about it, thought I’d try to help look.”

“Fair enough. I wouldn’t bust a croup on somepony trying to help find somepony missing. But you have to stay with us, we’re in the ‘no lone zone’ mission profile; means everyone has to be accompanied. You see anypony back there?”

“No, sir. I was just coming out to start a new place when I met you two.”

“Did you check the spyhole?”

“Spyhole? What’s a spyhole?”

“Sometimes, mazes like these have shrubbery die back in a dark corner,” he said, nodding his head at the alley entrance. “And until the groundskeeper can get in there to repair or re-plant, it makes an open spot behind the wall you can’t see unless you’re right up on it. Great place to stick yourself in until somepony you want to scare the hay out of walks by; then you pop out of it and frighten them half to death. I guard this thing pretty often, and one had started developing back along the inside corner in there.”

“Wow, I thought I looked,” Kali said.

“C’mon, I’ll show you,” the Guard said, smiling.

The three of them stood near the corner, as the Guard pointed a hoof. “See how from this angle, the wall looks solid, Kali?”

Kali nodded.

“Start moving to your right, away from this wall, and toward the side opposite.”

Kali spoke up excitedly. “Hey! Now I see it! It’s like a part was torn off or something…” he said as he walked up to it.

“Yeah. It’s still got a little growth across there, but you could easily…”

“Nuh-uh. There’s a pretty good sized hole here…I can almost…” he said as he pushed forward into it.

The Guard spoke to his teammate. “I really need to follow up on my report; the Groundskeeper or one of his assistants should have either rejuvenated the shrubbery in there, or put up a helio-reflector to direct the Princesses’ Sun into that spot. I was hoping they’d have it done already. They’ll have to do major removal and replanting now,” he said.

There was a small, unusual sound, like air displacing into an empty void.

“What the hay was that?” the second Guard asked.

“Beats me, but if that kid thinks it’s time to be a donkey, he’s about to find out different. Hey! Kali,” he said loudly, “…stop goofing off in there, we gotta finish our patrol!”

No response.

“Oh for the love of Celestia’s Sun,” groused the first. “Here, hold this,” he said, as he handed over his wicked-looking halberd to his teammate, and moved toward the opening.

“Wait, Spear, don’t you think…”

“If I take it with me, I’ll want to skewer him with it. Just give me a second, Morningstar. Besides,” he said, a little smile in his voice, “…I can’t push through this bush carrying that big wooden stick…”

“Suppose not. But keep an eye out; there’s some reason we’re all taced out besides a couple of wayward ponies. I don’t know what a statue has to do with that, but our orders were pretty exact.” Morningstar swung his eyes rapidly to the rear, checking behind him for anypony sneaking up…

Another quiet pop...

Morningstar swung back immediately, looking at the corner. “Spear?” he asked loudly.

Silence.

“Kali?” he tried again.

Again, no response.

“Oh, manure,” he breathed, backing slightly from the hole as if it led straight to Tartarus itself. He reared up, sliding his hooves along his halberd as he brought it down and couched it at his side. Spear’s weapon fell free for a second, then bounced slightly, the free end lifting up…

And jamming between his body and the halberd, fouling them. Morningstar glanced down to see what he needed to move or drop to get clear, as a second shadow appeared, slid near his.

“Spear, I’m gonna beat you like the office rug for…”

He disappeared.

The Angel calmly picked up the ridiculous weapons and jammed them parallel along the base of a maze wall. If all the life forms were so clumsy and slow here, it would have to slow down rapidly on taking prey. Engorging itself just after planetfall was a stupid waste. Better to take them slowly over time.

It was also time to move to a new spot, as well. There were soon to be too many to hunt efficiently, huddled up in a mass while looking for the others. Better to continue picking them off one by one.

It moved back into the hole for a bit as it considered its next move.

Chapter Twelve: Warriors

Celestia moved at a brisk walk toward the Labyrinth Maze, studiously avoiding breaking into either a canter or trot. Princesses were expected to move only at a walk everywhere. If she even hinted at running, the panic…

Flying was out as well. She could teleport, but with the Guard on active alert and search, the danger to other ponies was increased. Teleport bubbles looked ethereal, but at the edge of their invocation before the transport, the bubble was unbelievably hard. And as it grew out before disappearing, they were moving at a fair clip.

The bubble had two purposes. Keeping things in; and keeping things out. Both were important. In meant the pony or ponies inside had a few moments to get out of trouble if the user missed a target, and ended up inside, say, a live volcano. Out meant the infrequently fatal things outside a miss didn’t get in just long enough for a caster to escape. Most Master Mages, teaching the spell, avoided proximity with their pupils assiduously, to avoid being knocked out by the bubble.

Celestia herself had a fairly good knot raised on her jaw once, when Sunset Shimmer cast an unusually large one, although Celestia was suspicious that it had been intentional.

She nodded at the ponies along her path that curtsied or bowed; Celestia maintaining the ruse of a kindly Princess out for a little constitutional, not a ruling Diarchic Arch Mage demigoddess with terror for herself, her Sister, and the ponies of Equestria all being in mortal danger. She noted that there were much fewer than usual, as her orders were being complied with concerning evacuation.

The Doctor would be running, she thought. Lucky him, not having to set an example everywhere he went.

She arrived at the alcove, after warily watching for any sign of the Angel. Rather than knocking, she pulled open the door and went inside.

“OI!” cried ‘John’, upset that somepony decided to just jump into his blue box without permission, as he ran out from under the platform. When he saw who it was, the upset was rapidly replaced with confusion.

“Princess Celestia? What…?” he started to say.

“Doctor, we have no time for pleasantries. My Guards are reporting to me that there is an Angel on the loose,” she said candidly.

“WHAT?? No! Impossible! There’s no way…” he started to say.

“Two ponies are already unaccounted for. They were apparently attacked right at the entrance to the Labyrinth. On my way here, I watched for any hint of it, but didn’t see it.” She glanced around apprehensively. “My subjects…”

“Oi, right…we need to save them, but we have to move from here. Have someplace safe we can go?” The Doctor asked.

Celestia snorted. “Relatively safe. The Throne Room. We have a specific spot just big enough for the TARDIS along the East Wall, twenty-five feet from the edge of the throne dais. Its kept clear at all times. I don’t have my coordinate notes…”

“That was enough, Majesty. I can put us right there, just you watch! DERPY!” he bellowed.

“I’m right here, clever boy,” she said decisively, swinging up onto the ramp next to them. “I heard. Majesty…?” she started to say…

“At the Guest Quarters, along with the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I put a platoon on alert right there. Dinky is relatively safe at the moment,” Celestia said, anticipating her question.

“Too much ‘relative’ Majesty. I need a bit more pro-active,” said Derpy.

“I agree. Luna will attend them shortly. Can you get the Equestrian Heroines here?” Celestia asked.

“I can…” started The Doctor.

“No. We need a bolt-hole for the moment, both Luna and I, in case it gets wind of us and decides to hunt us down. Only the TARDIS can keep us out of reach. And we still have to coordinate evacuation of Canterlot as well as see to the safety of our subjects.” Celestia said worriedly.

“I’ve got this, Princess,” Derpy said, saluting as if the Wonderbolt flight suit was still on her, not in a closet at her home. “Estimated time; thirty minutes. Twenty-three minutes flight time. Seven minutes to assemble the team and teleport. Designated arrival target?” she said, fully into her former Flight Leader mode.

Celestia thought for a moment. Where would everypony be best unobserved…?

“Tell Twilight to use my target from the Manehattan trip we made,” Celestia said, loathe to let that little secret out, but what else to do? “Keep it tight, and in the center of the room.”

“Wilco.” She saluted again, turned toward the other pony. “‘John’, find a way. Save my little girl. Save us.” She marched down the ramp, opened the door with a squeek.

And launched herself like a rocket out of it. Both ‘John’ and Celestia stared as the door squeeked closed.

“Wow. I knew she was fast in her time…but that looked like she hasn’t lost a wingbeat,” Celestia said in awe. “I wonder if Rainbow Dash has been tutoring her…”

“All right, Doctor…get us into that Throne Room,” she ordered.

“At once, Majesty,” The Doctor said in reply.

Derpy snap-rolled one quarter turn left, tore through the sky as she changed direction toward Ponyville, wingtips vertical in a high-speed turn. The wingtips formed vapor vortices as the air burbled on the tips. She snapped horizontal, vectored straight at Ponyville at the correct moment.

“Hey, Derps…!”

Derpy glanced over, as Spitfire joined up.

“What’s the deal?” Spitfire said laconically.

“GET YOUR CROUP BACK ON ORBIT, SPITS!! YOU’RE ON COMBAT AIR SUPPORT!!!” Derpy roared furiously. Astounded, Spitfire immediately rolled one-quarter right, pulled through hard to get back on her imaginary racetrack. The vapor trail also obediently followed her wingtips.

“If we get through this alive, I swear to Luna, I’m going to tear that girl a new one,” Derpy growled frighteningly to herself. She winged on more speed.

Manure! Spitfire thought heatedly.

I RUN the WONDERBOLTS! Spitfire mentally grumbled as she rolled into the pattern. Yet with ONE bellow from HER, I STILL act like I’m a cadet on a short leash…she thought, as she resumed the upwind leg of the racetrack.

She’s right, though, Spitfire added a moment later, chastised. She was ALWAYS right…

Damn it!!

“Okay, Spits…by the book, like Derps always did it,” she said, adjusting her goggles…

“Doctor…could Pegasi fly away from Angels?” Celestia asked, as he set the machine. The past few minutes had been spent with The Doctor bringing her fully up to speed on Weeping Angels.

He stopped and thoughtfully considered the question, then continued preparations.

“I’ve no idea, Princess. Since nopony has ever seen one move,” he said, having now fully adopted the speech mannerisms of Equestria’s inhabitants, rather than saying ‘no one’, “…hard to deduce that. Erring on the side of caution, and considering the swiftness they exhibit, I’d support that the wings aren’t just for decoration, myself.” He twirled a couple of knobs, gave the bicycle pump three full strokes.

“I am seriously going to consider some type of unbreakable mirror, should we somehow get out of this,” Celestia fumed, more than a little angry.

“My bipedal counterpart once considered spectacles or a sort of helm, actually. Rather brilliant, if I do say so myself, if continuous, uninterruptible internal self illumination were a part of it. He hadn’t thought that part out at the time. Not currently useful at the moment for us, though.”

“I’ve got a spell for that,” Celestia remarked slyly.

“Well, then! Problem solved for any in the future. Luna was absolutely right. Magic does have its uses, eh?” he said cheekily, as he set the TARDIS into motion…

Derpy swiftly flew into Ponyville, deciding to touch down on Twilight’s balcony rather than the front door. She trotted inside anxiously.

“Twilight?” she called. A voice sounded from the bedroom.

“Derpy? I didn’t hear the door. What…?”

“No time, Princess. Locate and assemble the Mane Six. Discord, too. Be ready to teleport,” she said as she glanced at Twilight’s cuckoo clock. Wow. Twenty minutes enroute. Pretty good. “…in ten minutes with everypony. The Manehattan trip target in Canterlot, whatever that means. Anything I can do to help?” she said tersely.

Twilight looked at her worried face, choked off the questions. “Get Rainbow Dash. She’ll be somewhere around here, usually at Sweet Apple Acres on a tree branch, or on a cloud between here and Cloudsdale. I’ll get everypony else. How bad?” she finally asked.

“Extremely bad. A Weeping Angel.”

Derpy was shocked at the rude words pretty, sophisticated, intelligent Twilight knew. And she was definitely sure at least one of the statements was physiologically impossible to perform. As Twilight teleported for Fluttershy’s, Derpy tore off for altitude and finding Rainbow Dash.

Twilight popped into the living room at Fluttershy’s house, as two heads lifted in surprise.

“Twilight?” Discord started to say…

Twilight suddenly had a brain wave. “Discord…can you find and teleport all of us Six, yourself, and Derpy?”

Twilight had discovered during her dabbling in Chaos Magic that Discord could do certain things with his skills that she couldn’t. To make it work required unusual mind sets. The chocolate milk thing in particular had revealed a great deal.

Discord invoked chocolate milk because that’s what clouds rained down in his mind. He could exclude any other type of precipitation because his perceptions of proper clouds didn’t allow for snow, rain, or fog. It allowed chocolate milk. So that was what came down.

And that was why Twilight couldn’t manage much more than that dark, bitter spray she conjured up. Her mind wouldn’t make the leap. She couldn’t believe well enough to create the perfect concoction. Her realism kept getting in her way.

She could find all of them, one after another, if given enough time. And with enough energy, gather the group together. Even teleport them all. But the energy consumed was vast, and she’d be worn out before she even got to Canterlot.

“Of course. Why?” Discord asked, perplexed.

“Just take us to the Canterlot Throne Room. Derpy says there’s an Angel loose.” Twilight replied with trepidation.

Discord snapped his fingers at once…

And all of them appeared in the Canterlot Throne Room with a poof.

Derpy immediately snapped into a left hooved chandelle, wings again vertical, missing the throne room wall by scant inches, bleeding energy as fast as she could in the turn. In this case, Rainbow Dash had it worse, falling ten feet from her former sleeping perch on an apple tree limb to the floor with a noticeable thump. The imprecations she spat out as she rubbed variously insulted body parts from the impact were even more noticeable.

Twilight decided not to intervene in the swearing. Celestia may actually be a polyamorous bisexual, but that was her business. Anything she might let slip correcting Dash wasn’t for her to decide.

Besides, Twilight was blushing. And Rainbow Dash certainly wouldn’t resist for a second probing around for embarrassing tidbits when she saw that...

Just as an peculiar ‘vvorp’ing sound started to build up in the room…and an odd blue box started to materialize, spot on top of a set of darker colored tiles along one wall…

Luna had barely glanced up from the throne dais, her red framed reading glasses perched perfectly on her nose. She dropped the small sheaf of patrol reports she had been reading as the Throne Room suddenly became a tiny bit crowded. She didn’t even have time to say anything as Twilight beat her to it.

“Girls, form a circle with Discord in the middle. Derpy, RD, pair up together. Keep watch for a pony-sized statue. Everypony, keep your eyes moving, keep looking for it. If you see it, sound off, and keep staring at it.”

“Twilight?” Luna said, just as the TARDIS door popped open, and ‘John’ and Celestia joined the throng.

“Luny! Thank Goodness!” Celestia said, rushing up and hugging her younger sister, who stared in shock.

Celestia took charge immediately. “Doctor, stay here with your machine, prepare to take us inside for refuge should it become needed. None of us have the ability to operate it.” She turned to the others in the room as she sat down on the dais. “Everypony! We believe a Weeping Angel may be present on Equestria. Some individuals already appear to be missing. Luna, you need to see to the children after we talk. We need to…”

A horn blasted and held its note, as everypony turned toward the sound. Celestia’s eyes narrowed.

Their clock was suddenly out of time.

“Everypony, stay here,” she commanded. She drove herself to her feet and with a brief wing flap, galloped toward the sound, dread clutching at her heart. The alert had sounded from the inner courtyard.

Celestia lifted the Shaft of Light with her aura as she ran past the museum armory, teleported it to her side with a flicker of thought. Just as the Steward had said; for almost a thousand years, her weapon that she used against Sombra when she fought him had sat within its ornamental rack in the museum, only taken off by the EUP Guard to be cleaned, dusted, and lightly oiled every few months against corrosion.

She had hoped it would stay there until it fell apart from old age. To have to use it…

She couched the Halberd tightly along her right side as she ran for the inner courtyard. Suddenly, a deep blue flash joined up on her left. She frowned deeply.

“Luna…I told you to stay away,” she panted. “I…am doing this.”

The horn was suddenly stilled. Celestia’s eyes widened further in dismay.

“So shall I,” Princess Luna said. From her left, a very wicked looking pole arm being carried horizontally raised into view. Celestia viewed it with foreboding.

“Luna; that’s…the Nightmare Night…runic scythe.” Trepidation clutched at Celestia, her pace breaking slightly before she re-established her stride. The sinister runic scythe of Nightmare Night, taken from Sombra himself, then possessed and enchanted further by the Nightmare, who had eschewed Luna’s sword to seal his defeat…once more held in the aura of her dear sister…it was supposed to be locked away forever, never to be seen again, while she researched how best to destroy it. How did she know where Celestia had hidden it?

“If I am to die…I will die on my feet…fighting with all I have…” Luna panted as well, the highly polished, metallic blue-black colored arm with the mirror-like silver crescent-moon edges and flat, deeply cut argent sigils in its surface sliding back below view; it’s startling beauty only unmatched by its terrifying import.

She was risking all, including her very existence and spirit. All to fight alongside Celestia for ponies and Equestria. Celestia wished she had somepony to pray to, to beseech for Luna’s protection and redemption. Failing that, she shouldered the burden once more upon her own back.

“Together, then,” Celestia said, with the firmament of the heavens in her voice, as she bent her will to the task soon at hoof.

They broke into the deserted, abandoned inner courtyard, save one solitary item. The Angel, in the center. Its hooves were away from its face.

“Its hunting,” Celestia breathed. The wings were frozen in lifting, but not extended. Every instinct in Celestia was rebelling, screaming at her to run, to get away as quickly as possible. She slowed to a walk, as Luna did the same.

She strode toward the statue, un-couching the halberd, readying for the first strike. As she passed its side, she gave it a test clout at the barrel with the reinforced base of the pommel. There was a heavy “clank”, with no apparent damage to either the halberd or the Angel. She smiled grimly. It wasn’t as if she was expecting anything different, especially at this point, but the test had to be taken.

She walked around to the front of the Angel, careful to avoid its eyes, as she had learned from The Doctor. Staring at its upper body, she addressed it.

“Angel…we ask thee to forgive my affront to thy person; I was unforgivably clumsy, and stumbled. We are the Princess Diarchy of Equestria. I am Princess Celestia, and she is Princess Luna, the rulers of this world.”

Luna’s ears pricked up. Old Equestrian. Formal. Delicately expressed. She listened carefully.

“We art well aware of thy behaviors and the predilections of thine species. Contact between us is not compatible with our linear existence. We ask that thou quit our planet forthwith, and leave our presence.”

Luna stared in surprise. Celestia was using The Royal Canterlot Voice, but quietly and with amazing subtlety and control. She was trying to compel the Angel to leave the planet.

“Please, leave us.”

Nothing was happening.

Celestia raised her volume. “We direct thou to leave immediately, and not to return amongst us forever!”

Luna looked at the statue being. It remained.

Celestia decided to go all in. “LEAVE!! NOW!!”

Still no movement. Celestia sighed.

“Celestia, isn’t it locked here because we are staring at it?” Luna asked.

Celestia shook her head. “Possibly, but The Doctor was under the impression it could displace from this linear timeline unilaterally without requiring it to be unobserved. Not that I expected it to. In any case, the formalities have been assuaged.”

Suddenly, the halberd spun, then thrust forward, the heavy pommel striking the Angel precisely on the chin. Celestia launched a magic bolt with her aura at the same place.

Both were ineffective.

“Very well, then…” she said, crouching slightly.

Celestia leaped into a multiple attack sequence, halberd thrusts and strikes, magic bolts, forehoof kicks, and a spinning flying camel kick against the Angel. She surveyed for damage as she spun to a stop, panting slightly

None was apparent.

“Luna…” said Celestia, staring at the thing balefully as she tried to catch her breath.

Luna’s attack was even more energetic, as the younger Alicorn demonstrated her considerable skill and training. She had determined early on that her relative youth and spell-casting abilities would be better suited for close in individual combat when compared to Celestia. The Sun Princess was a ‘tank’ in gaming language, better suited for dealing with en masse formations of enemies, while Luna acted more as a precision weapon against individual entities.

Luna was fully demonstrating that ability now. Conjured swords. Thaumaturgy. She Invoked Magic Enchantment Circles of Power and Speed, which she then moved the conjured swords and the Runic Scythe through. They enhanced her already impressive abilities, becoming even more blindingly fast. The attacks were chipping small areas on the surface of the Angel as the strikes went home. Not much, but some.

Luna then saw an opportunity. She set the weapon and locked it in the joint of the body and wing of the statue with her aura, either to drive the Angel to the ground, or shatter the statue’s wing joint. Sweating with the effort, Luna threw all her power, everything, into the rune scythe that she had; years of training, exercises, and her mental discipline. Her eyes bulged as she stepped beyond what would constitute the norm in such a fight, and added in the authority she used in moving a celestial body.

There was a creaking. Luna felt the ground underneath her beginning to loosen with her effort, as her hooves began to sink. Now dripping with sweat from the force she was employing, the droplets running into her eyes, she increased…

There was a loud “snap”, as the scythe came apart; shattering to pieces, with a startling purple-violet aura release that dissipated instantly in the waning sunlight.

Luna buckled, crashed to her knees.

Celestia saw her fall from the corner of her eye. Not like the now heavily nicked and blunted halberd was doing any more good against the creature. Strikes weren’t damaging it enough, as far as she could see, nor was her magic, from compulsion by The Royal Canterlot Voice to the energy of her magic missiles. Hoof-to-Hoof was proving equally as useless. And she was tiring, tiring quickly.

One thing left to attempt. She spun back to the front, jammed the pommel of her halberd into the ground. Once stuck there, Celestia charged her aura, felt the ley line junction under her as she tapped the energy; and tried to teleport the Angel. Straight into her Sun.

The bubble formed around it, as the displacement spell started…and the Angel, with the surrounding spell, slowly lifted off the ground. The instantaneous flash of transport was missing, but the Angel was moving…

Celestia suddenly felt the weight of her star envelop her as the statue rose. The ground around her began to depress and sink under the crushing gravity, as science and magic fought each other for dominance. She fed more energy into the spell, was rewarded with the Angel lifting more…and her sinking farther.

She realized suddenly it wouldn’t work. The more energy she put into the spell, the higher it lifted into the air, but the Angel was preventing the teleport itself. She was getting into exponential energy transmission for miniscule effect, the bubble raising slightly higher with every thaumatic transfer, but the more pronounced the gravitational effect became. She felt that she was lifting mass far beyond the size of her Sun now.

She let it go. The Angel crashed to the ground a short distance away, as Celestial pulled herself loose from the hyper-gravity well. Exhausted, she fell to first her knees, then her belly. She continued to stare as best she could through the haze in her vision at the malevolent thing.

They were exhausted. Strike after strike, kick after kick, energy blast after energy blast, hardly nothing. Celestia stared at it, trying not to blink, but she was SO tired…Luna had fallen during her match close by, and had managed to drag herself alongside Celestia, staring as well. Her head drooped.

“Sister…stay with me, please,” she said pleadingly, frightened. She tried to raise her head again, but she was far too worn out.

“I love you, Luna,” Celestia whispered, a wing stretching to reach her beloved sister. "I have always loved you."

Two entities elsewhere in the castle had felt the magic battle, the energy of the ley line junction being tapped.

“Discord?” Princess Twilight Sparkle asked. He nodded.

“That way,” he said with certainty, pointing a paw.

“Take us there,” Twilight said, as she readied herself…

There was a sound…a poof…just as Celestia fell unconsciousness, her wing over an equally oblivious Luna.

Twilight and the Heroines surrounded the stone shape, forming a rough six-pointed star. It stood unmoving in the center. Derpy hovered gently just above Twilight, and Discord stood behind Applejack opposite her.

Princess Twilight Sparkle, aghast, saw the two unmoving forms of the Diarchy, as her heart sank. Unconsciously, she picked the two Alicorns up gently with her aura, and with reverence moved them to a spot outside of the group. They nestled back down together as she set them down with infinite care. She prayed it wasn’t to bury them later. She then brusquely thrust the thought from her mind.

“Uh, Twi…” Rainbow Dash started to say.

Derpy spoke first. “Quiet, RD. Everypony, listen carefully. DO NOT look the Angel in the eyes, it can evoke another Angel from that. Evoke it out of you. Stare at the body. As long as we do not all blink together, which is very unlikely mathematically, it can’t move. Staring at an Angel freezes the form. It’s called quantum locking, according to ‘John’.”

“Oh, dear…does this mean we somehow always have to have a group stare at it from now on?” asked Rarity

Twilight spoke up. “No. We just have to stop it from moving ever again. First things first…Discord?”

“Right here, Twilight.”

“Can you somehow probe this thing and figure out how it does what it does?” Twilight Sparkle asked. Her own instincts told her she wouldn’t be able to, but maybe the Lord of Chaos could…

“I’m afraid not, my dear Twilight. While it’s in this locked phase, it’s exactly what it appears it is…a stone statue. However, somehow, I get the impression I wouldn’t be able to budge it an inch using my magic. Even if I could one way or another send it to the other side of the universe, it would by some means find its way back here to hunt me, as well as all the Alicorns and Time’s Champion. And it would probably do it in an even more sneaky fashion than it already has. I’d much rather have it trying to terrify me right to my face now, than open the refrigerator at night looking for my slippers and find it inside.”

“I agree. It’s as frightening as can be right now, but it is controlled. Pinkie, I want to try something. Remember your little stunt with me against the Changeling army?”

“Sure do. You wanna try that? You said if I ever did that again, you’d use Cranky Doodle as your party planner like, FOREVER…” Pinkie said, confused, as Twilight interrupted.

“I didn’t think at the time we would be facing a stone superbeing that attacks when you blink or look away, either. Let’s do it.” Twilight said determinedly.

Pinkie Pie reached around in front of Twilight’s shoulders, turned her even with the ground; Twilights legs holding her up, as Pinkie supported the front part of Twilight’s body with a foreleg. She reached back and grabbed Twilight’s tail…

Pinkie cranked Twilight Sparkle’s appendage…

Twilight suddenly turned into a rapid-fire spell caster, as magic missile bolt after magic missile bolt fired from her horn. Pinkie continued to crank Twilights tail like a trigger, launching the spells like a military automatic weapon.

Bolt after bolt struck the statue with precision; head, forelegs, barrel, flank, rear legs, punishing up and down the body, one after the other. None had any apparent effect.

Twilight stopped it after a minute or so, stood up. “Well, it was worth trying,” she said, disappointed.

“That was interestingly random,” said Discord admiringly.

“Not now, Discord. Anypony else?” Twilight asked sullenly.

“I got nuthin’,” said Rainbow Dash. “If I could pick it up and fly it away, the first time I tried looking away to see where I was going…”

“If I can’t look at its eyes, The Stare won’t work,” said Fluttershy.

“I could set one of my shop mirrors in front of it…as long as no pony ever moved either of them. As a guarantee, that might prove far too thin…” said Rarity.

“And mirrors get dirty, or break,” said Twilight.

Applejack walked up to it, spun around, and launched a tremendous bucking kick, one of her best. The statue was unaffected, as Applejack stumbled and fell to the ground. Twilight realized the danger first.

“KEEP STARING!!” she bellowed, as two pairs of eyes looked at Applejack to see if she was okay, and others started to. Fortunately, everyone’s eyes snapped back onto the statue, except for Applejack, who was now limping.

“Shoot,” said Applejack contritely, as she worked at walking off the numbing pain in her right rear leg. She looked at Twilight.

“Next time, warn ponies,” Twilight said sternly.

“Sorry, Twi. Shoulda said sumpthin’. Looks like buckin’ it ain’t a solution, neither. And it’s far heavier than it looks, too. Even if I didn’t break it, it shoulda been knocked over, at least.”

“it’s okay, AJ, it was worth a shot. Pinkie, could the Cannon do something?”

“Nope. She’s too light in the breech and the barrel, since I have to do my ‘thing’ to carry it. Not a big problem with confetti for a party. Heavier stuff would overpressure; make it blow up. We don’t even have shot, chain, grapeshot, or canister, either. We could scrape up junk for langrage, metal pieces, nails, stuff like that, but we’d still have to load light on powder; probably too light for that thing.”

Twilight was totally taken aback that Pinkie Pie sounded like a proficient cannoneer, artillerypony, or gunnery monkey, but then again, it was Pinkie Pie. And she wisely decided to drop asking about the ‘thing’ for the time being, though it did sound suspiciously like Pinkie controlled her own sort of ‘Earth Pony Magic’ of some type; something Twilight had suspected for years. If they managed to get away alive and together in the right spot in time, she made a note to find out, without hiding behind bushes.

Derpy suddenly had an idea.

“Discord, could you blow it up? Like the mailbox?”

Discord grinned evilly, snapped his fingers…

A tremendous “BANG!” sounded in the courtyard…and a sooty statue still stood in the center.

Discord frowned mightily. “Seems like the answer to that is ‘no’,” he said quietly.

Derpy called to Twilight.”Twi, can you still Rapidash?”

“What?” she asked back.

“That flaming pony thing you do on occasion. Can you still do it?”

“If I’m angry enough, yes. What do you have in mind?”

“Discord,” Derpy said, looking at the draconequus, “How good are you at extreme cold?”

“Exceptional. One of my favorites I use frequently. Why?” he asked, intrigued.

“Twilight, can you do heat by shooting it, like you do the magic bolts with Pinkie?”

“I’ll try.” Twi looked at Pinkie. “Set me up.”

Pinkie grabbed her like before, pointed her horn at the statue. “Ready?” she asked Twilight.

“I hope this works…go,” Twilight said.

Pinkie began pumping her tail again…

Twi started firing from her horn once more; this time bolts of fiery heat. Again, Pinkie swept the statue top to bottom.

Derpy did a shot in the dark estimate of the thermodynamic calorimetrics Twilight was dumping into the statue, and another scientific wild-assumptive guess at the point of pryoplasticity of the figure.

“Twi, how are you holding up?” asked Derpy.

“Okay,” she said, though she was tiring, and sweating profusely from the effort and the heat. Pinkie was grimacing with her exertion as well, holding Twilight with one forehoof as she drove her tail with the other.

“Twi…I’m looking for thermal stressing. Go as long as you can, then holler at me. Discord has the next part,” said Derpy.

Twi didn’t look up from her work.

“Discord…Get ready. I need as intense a blast of cold as you can make, directed right at the center of that thing. Everything you’ve got, friend,” she said hopefully.

He nodded, stared at the center of the statue intensely.

“Let loose when Twilight stops.”

A minute or two later…“Derpy…” Twilight panted.

“Get ready, Discord,” Derpy said.

His paw came up…

“Uhh,” Twilight said as she collapsed, taking her and Pinkie to the ground. Probably a good thing, if this worked.

“NOW, Discord!!” she shouted. She hoped Twilight had heated it up enough; there wouldn’t be any more…

As much as Twilight’s blasts had heated the statue to red hot, Discord’s dropped it to icy stillness as the blast hit it right in the center…

There was a loud ‘CRACK’…

Derpy peered at it intently. Two good cracks…

“Applejack!! Buck it!” she yelled, slightly panicked.

AJ launched herself at it, spun, and kicked hard again.

An odd kritch sound came from it, and several more extensive small cracks appeared, but nothing else…

“Disassociated…broken; not killed…wounded…” Derpy mused. They may only have a few minutes before it healed…

“Discord!’ she shouted. He turned to look at her.

“We’ve only got a few moments. Get the Princesses, and the Equestrian Heroines, and get them into the TARDIS!” she ordered.

“HOW?” he shouted back.

She pulled her key free from her mane, tossed it at the draconequus. “Don’t use your magic; the Angel might sense it and come there after you. We need to run for it, or fly the best all of us can. Make sure to get you and the Princesses in there NOW! The TARDIS is protected from the time displacements the Angel uses. It’s the safest spot in all realities for all of you. If it captures you or them, it will gain power enough to conquer all of Equestria easily. If all of you should fall…”

“And Time’s Champion? Perhaps I can…”he started to say.

“No! Get all of you to safety! I’ll talk with ‘John’. Maybe the two of us can clever science our way out of this. Put yourselves out of reach of it. NOW!” she shouted, as she took off, winging her way back toward the Palace Throne Room.

Derpy had bolted for the TARDIS. She had the start of a crazy idea…one ‘John’ would probably admire, once he finished shouting at her for jeopardizing everypony’s safety.

Discord uneasily watched her go. He then stared at the small key in his paw.

“She’s right, you know,” said Twilight Sparkle. She lifted the unconscious Celestia with her magical aura, as Rarity did for Luna. And was relieved as she watched the two Alicorns breathe.

“I realize that. You know, Twilight, I’m beginning to dislike your being correct so frequently,” he said sorrowfully, as they started to sprint for the Palace Throne Room.

“A little news flash for you, Discord. So am I,” she said, smiling grimly, running for their lives.

Chapter Thirteen: Heroine

‘John’ fumed as he paced alongside the TARDIS. He saw the logic of leaving him for the moment with the blue box, should it be needed to be moved or activate its defences, but it left him out of the fight. And he was certain he was needed there.

First, Celestia took off. Immediately after that, Luna left. Then all of the Six, plus Discord, and a certain gentle grey Pegasus. And not being with her really rankled him.

He knew things were becoming ‘complicated’ with Derpy. His hearts had leaped in near panic when the group had disappeared. Oh, his hearts had leapt before. One of the worst times was with Rose Tyler. Or was it with Sarah Jane? Romana? Come to think of it, there were a few he had leaping hearts over. Martha, joining U.N.I.T. That terrible time with Alric; no that wasn’t because he had the same kind of hearts leap, that one was because of a clever, brave young man he couldn’t save.

Rubbish. All this sentimentality. He…

It was rubbish. What he was thinking. All of two days. But a grand two days. The lovely cottage. The clever filly that made pears right. And the lovely, gentle Pegasus mare with bubbles on her flank. That brilliance of hers. Those gold-green eyes. Her dainty writing, except when she was doing it in mid-air, he thought with a smile.

And she wanted them all together. Even his mad blue box. She liked his box. They got along famously.

Then he remembered the Angel, out there, hunting them. And it tore him asunder.

The universe wanted its say, too. And the ‘verse was saying no. Saying it with an Angel from nowhere.

The more he thought about it, the angrier he became…

“Oh, sod it all…” he said vehemently, as he ran to the Throne Room doors. No more thinking. Time for The Doctor to do something…the somethings he was noted and feared for in that very same smug ‘verse.

Just as he got there, the doors burst open. The Mane Six, Discord, Derpy, and the unconscious forms of Celestia and Luna flowed through it. ‘John’ immediately slammed on the brakes, but he’d never run before as a pony, and hadn’t spent much time thinking about how stopping was done. Lacking any sort of canter to slow, he stumbled and fell heavily to the floor.

I am so rubbish at being a pony, The Doctor thought as he tried to catch his breath after getting the wind knocked out of him. And if I were a Unicorn or Pegasi, I’d still have mucked it up, I’m sure.

Derpy had caught none of this, as she was watching behind the group, while Rainbow Dash had the front of the formation. Fluttershy had naturally taken to seeing to the safe movement of the Princesses; Twilight and Rarity had them in their magic auras, carrying them. Discord was near the front with the TARDIS key. Applejack was at the front, mayhem in her eyes for anything that dared to oppose them.

That left the party pony.

Discord reached the doors, jammed the key home in the lock, popped the doors open just as the others got there. RD blazed in, then AJ, followed by the young Alicorn and the Unicorn floating the Princesses along. Discord had somehow managed to stay out of the way while the herd galloped in…

A giggly, bouncy voice yelled outside the doors. “Hey, Doctor ‘Smith’…THIS WAY!!’ Pinkie Pie shouted, gesturing, just as Discord reached out, grabbed the waving foreleg, and tugged her into the blue box.

Derpy immediately pivoted. ‘John’ was picking himself up off the floor near the Throne Room door, wincing as he breathed. She turned back toward Discord.

The draconequus was way ahead of her. The key was already flying through the air, tossed by the Lord of Chaos at her, as he then shut the doors.

Some of his Chaos must have leaked out, or he just wasn’t very good at throwing…the key arc was way off the proper vector to catch easily.

Derpy had spent almost every waking hour on the Wonderbolts learning about vectors and vectoring. She was outstanding with knowing how objects moved in spacial relationships. It kept you from colliding with things, like your fellow flyers or castle spires. When her eyes worsened, the inability to focus properly on moving objects led to several embarrassing moments; like a hay cart, an anvil, and an upright piano, eventually.

Not today. Her vision zeroed in on the wayward key with laser precision, and she caught it with her left forehoof while flying upside down and moving backwards to her right.

A second or two too long.

‘John’ had caught up to the situation in moments, started running again, back for the TARDIS now. They had a chance. A slim one, but a chance. They could all take refuge, come up with a plan to deal with the Angel together…

He saw Derpy’s face blanch, her eyes wide in fright.

No more time. He cantered to a stop, wheeled around.

The Doctor stared at the Angel from across the room, his eyes level with its chest. It was locked, unmoving, but its hooves were before its eyes, and it felt the time emanations radiating from him. It would take him into the past, and feed as none before it have fed. It had a Time Lord. And it could afford its patience, while it sought to build fear.

“You lot think you have what it takes to feed from me?” he panted under his breath, his eyes glowering from just under his eyebrows. “I’ve walked all of time and space, watched births and ends of entire galaxies, and warmed my hands in the heat death of eternity. Yea, ye gluttonous pig, you’ll burst from what I hold within myself. Try. Just try it,” he said, as a hoof sneaked back, reaching for one particular well-used pocket…

The Sonic Screwdriver. It would take time, but…

It wasn’t there.

It was under the Time Rotor platform. Where he and Derpy had been working. Both it and the Spanner. It might as well be at that Restaurant at the End of the Universe.

All of Eternity…now down to one thing. The dear, loving Pegasus with that wonderful Unicorn filly. She could get the TARDIS going, after she figured it out. She could save everypony.

If he saved her.

“Derpy…fly,” he said quietly.

He then slowly closed his eyes.

She flew, all right…right between them.

“NO!” she cried, as she landed, skidding to a stop exactly between the Angel and The Doctor.

“No,” she said softly. “Save us, ‘John’. You have to do your best. Get to the TARDIS. Save my world.” She blinked.

The Angel had its hooves down, was staring with unblinking orbs at the mailmare…as she looked at it.

The Doctor was in terror. “DERPY! STOP!!” he cried, though it was far too late…as his dearest lovely Derpy closed her eyes…

There was a loud snapping ‘POP’…

So this is what it feels like… she thought to herself. To be caught in the vortex of the Angel, being dragged to its alternative reality past, there to feed on the time displacement that she would never escape from…

She blinked…and the Angel hadn’t moved…

Involuntarily, she glanced upward at the face, expecting to see the horrid visage of its fang-filled mouth snarling as it fell on her…

It wasn’t snarling…

It was recoiling in terror…trying to look away from her…

She took as small step, hypnotically turning more toward the terrified face…as it splintered with spider webbed cracking…

As she stared, the cracking intensified, splitting throughout; the stone like features starting to become blurred, indistinct, as sand-like powder fell from it.

Two more loud ‘SNAPS’, sounding like cannon shots, exploded in the room…

The Doctor watched, astounded, as the Angel started to break apart under the gaze of one grey Pegasus, the features starting to flow to the floor, like a fine-grained beach sand figurine left drying under a punishing sun too long…

It was beginning to vibrate, the wave lengths palpable through their hooves. Both of them were rooted to the spot, unmoving, as the tremors increased…

One more extremely loud ‘CRACK’ sounded…and The Doctor leapt into action, thinking faster than he could consider what he was doing…

He jumped, grabbing Derpy in mid-leap, and bringing her down to the floor as he twisted, her body once more forcing a whufff of air from him as she fell on top of him, his back slamming into the floor hard…

Just as the Angel exploded into sand and small shards, whirring like wasps by their ears. The room was suddenly filled with thick clouds of dust. They coughed and hacked as the dust condensed on them in a sandy, powdery blanket. The Doctor was the first to recover some equilibrium.

“That was…unexpected,” he said calmly, as he started to brush the debris from Derpy’s face as she coughed. He produced a hoofkerchief from a pocket in his coat, which she used to wipe the deposits from her face.

“What happened?”

“I’ve no idea. Geroff a min, luv, and I’ll find out.”

Derpy rolled off, and with a great whoop of air which set him once more to coughing, he managed to stand up. He helped her up first, then grabbed his unusual colored lens glasses, putting them on, as he examined the dust and shards scattered everywhere with them.

“You have that mess cleared from your lungs yet, Derpy?’ he called, as he scrutinized the untidiness.

“Mostly,” she wheezed back.

He looked at her. Her body still had the dust on her, but the unusual particles he saw through the glasses had decreased markedly.

“That’s good, luv, because I’ve no idea what powdered Angel does to living tissue,” he said cheerfully, as he put his glasses away.

She stared back, startled, then shook herself like a dog, flinging dust and powder from her coat. She looked much more normal when she stopped. Just for good measure, she flapped her wings a bit as well to clear them, setting a small billowing cloud away toward the far wall.

He knocked the residue from his trench coat, which had picked up the powder rather than his fur, and was even more agreeable to release it easily. She glared at him.

“Oi, not my fault I’m an Earth pony. Could use a horn right about now for both of us. Still…” he said, relieved to be rid of the deposits.

“Okay. What happened?” she asked with an air of calm she didn’t feel.

“It shattered. Broke up worse than Humpty-Dumpty. Something triggered a feedback in its configuration. The strain of it crushed the molecular structure. BOOM,” he finished for good measure.

“Well that was as concise an answer as I can expect. Mind telling me what can do that to an Angel?” she went on.

“Got a theory.” He smiled.

“Lovely. Are you going to let me in on the secret, or shall I wait for you to publish?” she asked sarcastically.

“You,” he said, grinning one of his grins, pointing a forehoof at her. “Lovely, mad, beautiful Derpy. Brilliant as always. Must keep on my toes around you, I must. You saved us, my grey angel.”

She gaped at him.

“Angel, I mean, not like, Angel,” he said as he pointed at a larger pile on the floor, “…or Angel like bunny rabbit Angel Bunny. Angel, as in one who saves. The best Angel,” he said, rubbing a hoof along the back of his neck.

She actually managed to keep up with that conversation, for once. That left…

“How?” she asked, bewildered.

“Luv…” he said, laying a foreleg on her shoulders, “…you stared at it.”

Suddenly, her self-consciousness about her eyes flashed to the fore. She started to turn away…

As he gently turned her face back to his.

“Those lovely ponds of yours, Derpy. Especially that cuter right one. The Angel couldn’t take the stress.”

He continued to look into her eyes. “One eye on, quantum locking it. But what of the other? Off taking in the universe. Re-defining the Standard Sub-Atomic Particle Model. Contemplating muffins. One unlocking the quantum lock, somehow. Both present in the same lifeform. Two massive forces, acting on each other. One positive, one negative. Energy has to go somewhere, luv. BOOM.”

“I killed it.”

“Like the proverbial doornail. Or something similar,” he sighed gratefully.

“I…killed it.” There were tears in the voice. Shocked, he rumbled to life.

“NO! Don’t you go there, luv, ever! Just…no,” he said sternly, staring at her face. “It would have found a way to reproduce eventually, and those would have taken even more. Some of those would have killed ponies to have a voice. Like this one might have. They would trap the very young, for longevity, or the immortal, for the power. It would have never stopped, had it taken me, or Luna, or Celestia, or especially Discord,” he said gravely.

“IF they had all of us, they would then have free run throughout this existence, and try to tear their way into others. Dinky…” he said, and his voice caught.

He went on in a moment, his voice raw. “Dinky…would have been trapped, in an existence alone. She would have never seen any of us again. She would never have seen you again.”

He pointed at the dust. “Was this right?” He shook his head. “I’ve no answer for you. Maybe Celestia or Luna might know. But was it necessary? Think on your little, sweet filly first, then answer it.”

She wept softly. “John…I’ve never killed anything in my life. How,” she said, the pain in her voice evident, “…how can I live with what I did?”

“Luv,” he said, as he took the shaking Pegasus and rocked her back and forth in his forelegs, like a tiny, frightened filly, “…ask Luna to sing in your dreams. Please, let The Benevolent Princess of Dreams help.”

He wiped away the tears patiently. “She helped me when my fears grew too much. Oh, and need I remind you…you have saved, what, six ponies or more in a past someplace?”

She sat up, surprised, and wiped her eyes. “Oh, no! I forgot! We have to go help them!”

He let go of her, smiled and stood up. He then reached a hoof to help her. “Yes, we do, luv. Oh, yes, it’s time to do our helping. Come and lend a hoof, they’ll need a familiar face. And let’s get all those ponies and such out of the TARDIS, poor things.”

As they opened the door on the blue box, they met a familiar face, her head lowered, her horn fully energized.

“Easy, Princess, just us. Crisis averted. Everyone out,” ‘John’ said cheekily.

Celestia depowered her aura, looked at the both of them.

“Princess, the Angel has been destroyed. But if all of you don’t mind, we have a Steward, several Royal Guards, and a small colt to bring back. Like to get started. All ashore,” he said happily.

Celestia turned away from the mad pony, looked at Derpy, who nodded determinedly as she hovered nearby.

‘John’ went on. “Celestia, get your Guard, set watch over this dust. As you can, sweep up portions and float them into the Sun. Put half there, half into various active volcanoes around the planet; inside the lava flows, and in the crater proper. It scans out inert, but best to not take chances. Fling a hoof-full free into the Void for luck,” ‘John Smith’ said cheerfully.

“What is it?” Celestia asked cautiously.

“Powdered Angel.”

She stared around at the mess. “Won’t it form new Angels?” she asked, concerned.

“Quantum pairing. Like the quantum locking was both tremendous advantage and disadvantage, the quantum pairing that made it so strong when it was all together now works against it regenerating, once it’s all dispersed. All the material is associated on quantum levels with all the other material. Oh, perhaps, with the immensity of time, stupendous effort to bring it all back together, a huge amount of temporal energy to try for re-vitalization, and lots of glue, then maybe you could manage to put this one together. Sort of. Don’t forget the glue, it’ll be necessary. But it’s still not alive anymore, even with all that. So, there it is.”

“Princess Celestia, we’ll be back as soon as we can,” Derpy said as she hovered. “Allow everypony some time to relax and bleed off the stress, maybe let Pinkie throw a small celebration, not a party; that would be too much, probably, and welcome everyone back when we return. Then everyone can go home and recuperate. They need and deserve it.”

Celestia smiled, relaxed. “Then I shall do so, Royal Messenger.” She turned, looked at the small crowd watching expectantly. “You all heard her, everypony, Discord. I have a reception room here in the castle perfect for a quiet get-together.”

She watched everyone file by, Twilight Sparkle in the lead. She gestured with a hoof at Twilight, then gently tapped Discord and Luna out as well as they passed. ‘John’ stood in the door, waiting, as Derpy landed, a very confused look on her face.

“Yes, my little pony?” Celestia said mirthfully, as the others, smiling, watched.

“Royal Messenger?” Derpy said, baffled.

“If I recall correctly, and I always do,” Celestia chuckled, “…Special Delivery is near mandatory retirement, is he not? You have performed outstandingly brilliantly during this crisis, Messenger. You are intelligent, practical, eminently sensible, and your sincerity is unquestionable. And you always lead with your heart. I don’t give out positions in my administration of Equestria lightly. You have earned it, and you shall continue to earn it. When and where I need you, you must be ready. Besides, the Service Workers of Equestria Union would take long, well-considered pause before doing ANYTHING, er…‘unpleasant’ against my Messenger, whether or not they actually knew what happened to a certain axehandle,” she said, smiling brightly.

Derpy shook her head. She knew. Of course, she knew. She’s a Princess.

“And, as my Messenger, you would be expected to represent me in certain things, be my envoy, diplomatic courier, and undertake certain, ‘delicate’, negotiations. I’m sure ‘John’ would be quite happy to assist you there with transportation, security, and such,” she said, looking at the chestnut pony, who bowed deeply.

She turned back to Derpy. “In Fluttershy’s home we established the beginnings of a new force of Heroes. Luna and I. Twilight Sparkle and the Heroines of Equestria. Discord and the forces of Chaos. That quaint description of the Doctor, which I rather like, as ‘Time’s Champion.’ However, there is one missing right now. The one to formally represent the ponies. One who is a heroine in her own right.”

She smiled. “You.”

Derpy felt the weight of the responsibility crash down on her back. “Me?” she asked, incredulous.

“There is none better.”

“Why?”

“First, you have had the very things we must resist try to harm you and your daughter directly long ago. You know this enemy, and what drives it, firsthand. It was an inexcusable thing that you endured, but you came through it to the other side. You can explain such evil better than even I could to those ears that might listen,” Celestia said compassionately. “Then, facing such a trial again, you turned toward the sound of the battle and strode into it. No living being on Equestria could demand that you hadn’t endured enough in your first encounter. None. Yet, once that moment was in your hooves, you, Derpy Doo, turned to oppose it.”

Celestia paused a moment, then went on. “The first time, you were obliterated in drugs, intense psychological manipulation, physical and emotional abuse, horror upon horror heaped upon you. No one could fault you if after enduring that, you turned away. Instead, you girded yourself for battle. And you charged in, for all of us. As my Steward once said to me, ‘I want the one that won’t roll over and die as long as they can breathe just long enough to stay in there and fight.’”

“And second, I have need of such like you to be an emissary, to help bring others to our side. I have bureaucrats aplenty for speeches and paper shuffling. I need a champion. I need one that has faced this sort of evil, stood with others like them, and can tell others what it’s like to stare into its eyes, and still never give in.”

“Cely…Princess…I…”

Celestia held up a hoof. “There is no need to answer now. Take some time…”

“Yes.”

“Already?” Celestia asked, surprised. “I thought you would take at least two days to think about it.”

“No, I understand it now. I always tell Dinky, ‘Life is what happens after you make your plans,” mostly to get her to be prepared when things go wrong. Maybe…maybe that rule should apply when things are going right, too.” She smiled, though her eyes were watery from tears. “I’m your mare, Princess.”

“‘John?’” Celestia asked.

“Be delighted, Princess. Excuse me, Princesses. Princesses and the Lord of Chaos? Or is that one too far?” he asked, as he rubbed a hoof along the back of his head.

Discord poofed ‘John’s’ tie, pulling it down and putting it askew. Derpy smiled gently, as she sat down and started to fiddle with it.

“What? It helps her think,” he said defensively at the mild accusatory looks by the other ponies, as she worked the cloth.

“Yes, it does,” she said kindly, chuckling. “There. Perfect,” she said, pulling the knot up to its proper place. “And yes, my Princesses, Time Charger, and one silly Lord of Chaos, I accept.”

Discord smiled charmingly, gently took Derpy’s TARDIS key, and braided it back into her mane.

“Settled, then. We’re off on a rescue! Be back in a jiff,” said ‘John’, as he and Derpy boarded the TARDIS.

Celestia chuckled tiredly, turning toward the throne as the TARDIS left. It must be nice to be so sure things would work out…

She suddenly remembered. The past…

After the celebration in Ponyville, Celestia escorted Luna to Canterlot. The younger Alicorn was frail, but gaining strength as the power of the Nightmare continued to retreat from her. Celestia was concerned the ordeal had taken so much from Luna. Her colors were faded, the Magic within her weak. But she was back, and Celestia was loath to be away from her side.

At Canterlot, Celestia escorted her to what would be her new apartments.

Luna spoke up. “Will we not return to Our Castle, Sister? This place…”

Celestia opened the door, as Luna gasped. The great room was filled with most of Luna’s things from Two Sisters, placed appropriately for her use.

“Sadly, Luna, most of our old home was severely damaged. The seat of authority was moved here, to Canterlot. It is here, I hope, that you will live…with me.”

“Hullo.”

Luna turned, saw a strange pony in a trench coat…carrying a small box.

“I brought this…for you, Woony. It did get knocked about a bit,” he said putting it on the table and lifting the lid. “But the cake is still good, and that tisn’t a lie.”

Luna peered closer. “Doctor?” she whispered. She then looked at the cake, with the squished frosting that had said, “Welcome Home, Woony!”…and still sort of did, if one could interpret the words through the smeared parts.

“It’s wonderful to see you again. Please, help yourself to the bigger share. It’s been a long time for you.” He smiled, then nudged Celestia slightly, pointing to Celestia’s rooms with his nose.

“Doctor, perhaps now isn’t…” she started to say.

“Nonsense. Perfect time for her to sneak extra frosting, while we talk a bit. Won’t be long. Those dress forms in Rarity’s shop have been sorted out for fair, and I even saved the cake. Win all about for everypony.” He gave her a very gentle nudge toward the door.

Celestia’s eyes flashed in anger for a moment, and then she acquiesced, following him in.

He shut the door behind her. “Sorry, Princess, my profound apologies. Have to let you know how it went.” He took a chair, sat down. She stared for a moment, then seated herself on the bed.

“The figures had been animated with some unknown energy, probably Nestene Consciousness gestalt. I traced the emanations back,” he said matter of factly.

“And?” asked Celestia condescendingly.

“It was in your old castle.” He stood up, walked around, trying to release some stress. “I don’t know if that was what forced the change in Luna. It’s possible; it had been there a long time, gaining strength. She’s younger, less resistant, more receptive. And of the two of you…”

“Speak it, Doctor. You’ve never been one not to speak your mind.” She preened a wing, trying to be dismissive.

“Stronger. More powerful. And you know that already.”

“I have always known.” She stood up, the compulsion of a creature that must move, at all costs, lest they jump out of their own skin.

“You should have discovered this earlier. Before I had to banish her. Before I had to be without my sister for a thousand years.”

“I’ve enough recriminations for all of us, Celestia. And this isn’t the end of it. The gestalt left an imprint. Under the right conditions, it could manifest again. Nightmare Moon could come back.”

“So. My sister, the ticking time bomb.” She sighed, slumped wearily. “Is there nothing that can be done?”

“No. You can help her. You can love her, care for her. We’ll all help. Help by making Luna stronger.”

“Well then.” Celestia looked at him, the anger subsiding. “My apologies. I thank you for removing this enemy from our planet. I know you take no reward in your services, Doctor, but once more, I offer them. What is it we can do for you?”

“This time…I do need your help, Princess. I know you have Nightmare Moon’s Runic Scythe…”

Celestia’s eyes widened in understanding…understanding, and fear.

The Doctor held up a hoof. “And no, I don’t want it. And I know you’re trying to destroy it. You can’t. But one day, you’ll see it destroyed. I’ll be around. Make sure I get what is on this list. Don’t wonder why. Just make sure I get them as soon as possible after it is destroyed.” He placed a composite crystallized disc on top of the parchment. “That, too. Lives will depend on it.”

She stared at him.

“Oh… when I salute you like this,” he said, tossing his right foreleg to his eyebrow and back down nonchalantly,”…it’s to let you know that I know you. That we’ve interacted before. Now, right. That’s all I have. We need to see Luna. Please, come along, Majesty. I’ve taken far too much of your time already away from her.” He stood up, went and opened the door…

To a sleeping Luna, cake frosting smeared around her mouth and a hoof, laying peacefully on the cushions of a couch, the decimated remains of the cake and its box strewn about her.

Celestia smiled warmly. “You know, Doctor, I was furious with you, expecting you to drive the TARDIS out and stop her from becoming the Nightmare. Even with knowing that if you could, you would have done so already. I wanted to despise you for that.”

She sighed. “Yet, when I see this, I know the truth.” She sniffed the air. “Blueberry filling. Her absolute favorite. The smell of it must have driven her insane, she likes it so much…”

Chapter Fourteen: Time's Champion

As she raced back to the battlefield, the recent cloying dread that had been stilled started to find its way back around her heart. As she did so, her Sergeant of the Royal Guard rushed out from a different archway to her side.

She galloped onto the green, skidded to a stop alongside her halberd…

It was true. The Nightmare’s Rune Scythe laid in pieces where it had shattered, forgotten until now. But it had changed. No longer was it crescent-shaped, in the colors of the Nightmare, with the argent sigils of her power. It was a dull, crystallized black, like unpolished hematite.

It was Sombra’s old weapon. The dread reached out, clamped her heart in viselike pressure.

The moment was here.

Celestia bellowed in rage and frustration, pulling her halberd loose from the ground and flinging the Shaft of Light at the courtyard’s far wall. It struck, and buried itself a third of the way along its length into the wall.

The Sergeant froze in shock.

He had worked hard for his place. First, he had to prove he belonged in the EUP, then fight for a place in the Royal Guard. That was no figurative term; The Royal Guard tested every applicant for the brains and decorum the position required, and then set the candidates against each other in single hoof-to-hoof combat to evaluate their fighting skill and mettle. No candidate pony knew where the Pass/Fail demarcation was drawn. Recommendation was solely on the opinions of the senior ponies who watched the matches.

He had lost several of his matches. Time after time, he found himself grounded by a heavier, stronger opponent. Each and every time, he managed to drag himself back up and re-engage his opponent.

“The kid must really like getting beat up,” the lieutenant watching the pair had said, laughing.

“Really?” asked Sar-Major Lance. The lieutenant didn’t realize it, but he was being evaluated, too. The Sergeant Major wouldn’t be writing it down on an eval form, but the senior officers, the good ones, and in his EUP, he busted flank to make sure the good ones stayed in, always asked his opinion. And his opinion carried weight.

“Look, he’s getting up again…”

“Yeah. I’m calling this. I’m keeping him,” Lance said.

“You’re kidding me, “the lieutenant said, incredulously.

“Nope. I can teach technique. That’s the easy part. How do you teach someone to never to give up on the mission, Lieutenant? That behemoth he’s scrapping with is a terror. It was in his file, an interesting string of petty offenses until one day he went too far, and someone told him EUP, or Shattered Hooves Correctional. He isn’t what we look for, but he did earn his shot. He’s humoring us with what discipline he shows; I’ve been watching him. The lesson might have taken in Boot Camp. If it did, wonderful; he should have a good career. But I’m not placing the lives of the Princesses in that one’s hooves. I want the son of a dam that won’t roll over and die as long as he can breathe just enough to stay in there and fight.”

He had learned of that part years later, from the Sar-Major himself when Lance retired. He guarded them exactly with that as his mission parameter; stay in there and fight. Maybe he got a little too enthusiastic and earned his time in the palace fountain, but he had earned it doing his job, not slacking. He knew their moods.

But until today, he had never seen the Warmth of the Benevolent Sun enraged.

‘John’ set the machine into motion, as Derpy placed herself in front of the ‘communications’ section of the console. ‘John’ showed her the significant parts.

“Luv, the relevant displacement looks like…” he said professorially, “…this.” He pointed at the screen. “Transfer the temporal coordinates to me at the pilot center. We’ll start with this one first.”

A few minutes later, Derpy was holding a hoof out to Sergeant Major Lance, who bewilderingly followed Derpy aboard the TARDIS. Once on, he looked at the two of them.

“Derpy…I don’t understand. Everypony. They were gone. I couldn’t find anyone. I was…alone. What happened? Where did you come from?”

“Wilf, I would love to spend time with you reviewing this. However…believe it or not, we are pressed as to time. We need your help…”Derpy said gently.

Sar-Major Lance marched off a few minutes later; and quickly returned with two of the missing Royal Guards. A few more, and all the Guard had been retrieved.

“I’ve the next, too,” the Sergeant Major said, as the TARDIS landed. Escorted by the senior Guard, Steward Lance brought a frightened Squire on board.

“Never thought a crowded TARDIS would be so joyous,” ‘John’ said, as he and Derpy worked the console.

‘”John’, I’m having trouble…” Derpy said worriedly. He stroked her hoof with his.

“Relax, luv. Remember when we talked about feeling everything about you? Close your eyes, and reach out. You know the little colt. Think on that, and steer for it…”

Derpy closed her eyes, thought about the little brown guy in the propeller beanie, buried facedown in a game, Sweetie Belle alongside him watching; as she worked the vessel’s console…

“Look,” he said proudly.

Derpy opened her eyes, saw the target locked on her screen, the coordinates already being transferred to the pilot section. ‘John’ patted the hoof.

“See? I told you, and everypony else who’d listen. Simply brilliant.” He went to his place, threw the lever over…

About an hour later, relative to when they had actually started, though it had taken almost two from their point of view in the TARDIS, ‘John’ was opening the doors to escort his ‘guests’ out. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were there to meet them, though if one looked closely, one could see that they were still more than a bit frazzled around the edges from their own harrowing experience.

Rarity and Sweetie Belle, along with Dinky and the other CMC’s, firmly planted Buttons in the center of attention The confused colt didn’t know whether to relish or hide away from the intense interest, but since they were carrying him off to celebrate, there wasn’t much he could do about it, anyway.

Steward Lance, the onetime Sergeant-Major, saluted the Princesses as he made a concise report. When he came to the end of it, Luna put a compassionate hoof on his shoulder, then pointed the way to the reception. He took the Guard and the squire in by eye, and led them off. Luna smiled at that.

“A fine stallion, that one. Always duty first. Oh, and Derpy, would you accompany me? It’s been a long day, and I’d be glad of the company.”

“Certainly, Majesty. I’ll get ‘John’, and…”

“That is unnecessary, Messenger. Princess Celestia wishes to talk with him a bit. He’ll be along soon,” she said, smiling.

“Okay, Princess.” she said chirpily, as she started walking toward the reception room.

As Derpy passed Luna, the smile faded. Luna hung her head for a moment sadly, and then raised it as she looked at her sister significantly. Then she turned and followed the grey Pegasus.

The Doctor spent a minute looking over the outside of his machine, giving a cursory inspection to it, as Celestia watched him. He peeked at the direction they had all gone as he finished up.

She was immensely old, even older than he was. She had walked the world a long time, had seen the brief flickers of the ponies lives kindle like lights in the dark, burn brightly for what felt to her like scant seconds of existence, then wink out. Of all the things she endured over her prolonged, lingering existence, this was the worst. Centuries passed beneath her hooves, announced their presence all too briefly to her consciousness, then passed to the next one in a never ending blur.

It galled her.

Perhaps her age may have numbed her to her need for companionship; it certainly felt like that at times…but it did not numb her to the desire to see others find their fellow spark. The satisfaction she was doing right in her ancient existence.

It was time.

She turned away, the hint of tears in her eyes. She cared for him. Possibly loved him, in her way. She certainly admired the stallion, his compunction to help, his bravery, his steadfastness. All would now be tested. Tested to the breaking point. As she knew it would be, one day.

“Doctor,” she said over her shoulder, sternly, candidly. “Doctor…you need to travel. Travel back to the point I need you to go. Somepony needs you, needs you desperately. They will need The Oncoming Storm, for both Life and Death will hang in the balance.”

“Princess…”he started to say. She cut him off with a sudden, forceful swipe with her hoof, slamming it on the floor. She swung back, looking at him. He was stunned at seeing the tears.

“No. You will know what will need to be done once there. I cannot say more. This is yours, and all I can do is interfere with you. The time is just over nine years ago. The place is just north of Ponyville. Take this,” she said with authoritarian strength and power, handing him a medium sized flat bundle with a Royal seal, and a small envelope attached to the front of it.

“Leave. Immediately. I shall speak with the others, and you must set your device to return at this point one hour in the future with minimal guidance from you. Leave the doors unlocked.”

“Cely…” he said gently.

“NO! Thou shalt OBEY me, Time Charger!!” she shouted, the Royal Canterlot Voice evident, the power unambiguous. “GO NOW, Warrior! Sterte, there is no more time for thee to waste!!” She was openly crying now, her pain unmistakable.

The power flowed about him, but did not compel him as it would with the others, though it tried to. But the fact that she would use it…

Startled, he sprinted into the TARDIS, anxiety on his face. The machine powered up, and left.

Princess Celestia, The Radiant Dawn, Warmth of the Benevolent Sun, Guardian of the Light in the World, fell to her knees. The die had been cast, but it was still rolling across the table…

She started to cry…

“Sister…”

Celestia looked up. Luna lay down next to her, wrapped her in a wing.

Her head down, she cried in the softness of Luna’s wing. “Oh, Luny…” she sobbed briefly. Then she steeled herself.

Princess Celestia of Equestria pushed herself to a sitting position. Not time to mourn. Not yet. Too much yet to do.

“Gather the ponies. Get the one we summoned yourself, and prepare as planned. Have the other standing by if she is needed. Should he succeed, we must be ready. If he falls…”

She sobbed once more, caught it. “If he falls…we will do what is needed. I shall save any further tears for then.” She stared at the empty space where the TARDIS had rested.

He was going to save Derpy. Perhaps.

Those without knowledge would point out that he had already saved her, therefore he would save her. Predetermination. She laughed ruefully, bitterly in the silence of her thoughts.

Predetermination was unreal. Entropy always had its role to play in existence as well. And it always found its part. The die had been cast forth. What number would be revealed in this throw was coming soon.

Their wait had just begun.

‘John Smith’ rushed into his machine, closing the door behind him. Once inside, he anxiously tore open the envelope…

And stared at the crystalline disc that fell into his hoof worriedly.

A record crystal. A Gallifreyan record crystal.

There was only one way he knew such a thing could come into Celestia’s possession. He gave it to her.

Carrying the package and the crystal carefully, he made his way to the console. He then put the package down cautiously on the floor nearby, and swung the monitor screen into place.

He put the crystal in the port on the side of it, started the playback.

“Good. If you’re watching this, remember to get this crystal to Celestia afterward. She’s to give it to you as soon as she’s supposed to, I suppose…” he said to himself. Because his image there in the screen was talking to the apprehensive pony that was watching the monitor uneasily.

“Right, then. The coordinate complex I’m sending you is automatically being uploaded as we speak. Or I speak. Whatever.”

“Mate, you have to go there. You have something very important there to do. And I, meaning me, can’t tell you, meaning you, what it is you need to do. Can’t take the chance of mucking this up by giving you too much information.”

‘John’ watched, fascinated. He never did this to himself before.

“Remember Twilight Sparkle, mate?” the image went on earnestly. “She came back, talked to herself. Changed her future with that little ripple. Caused herself all sorts of trouble along the way. But to set this part into motion, I have to do this much.”

The image became solemn. “You know how it works. Too much, things could wibble-wobble completely out of control. Too little, and we fail, and we mustn’t. So, you go in mostly blind. The tool you need is in the package. Open it up when you get there. It’ll make more sense after that.”

Then the image became very serious and grave. “You have to listen very carefully to your instincts, Doctor. Don’t think. Though when we get rolling, we really don’t do much of that, do we? Act, and react. Think a tiny bit too much, or too little, and all becomes lost.”

He facehoofed, a look of distress on his face for a moment. “Bollocks, this is hard; to say just enough, and not too much, when you don’t quite know where the marker is. So, trust me. Or you. Or us.”

The pony on the screen reached up. The screen went blank.

He reached up as well, shut the screen off.

He then went over, started to pull the lever down.

And hesitated.

Closing his eyes, The Doctor reached out with his perceptions, trying to feel the wall he was blindly walking beside…

“And…now,” he whispered, pulling the lever down decisively.

He felt the die in motion, as the TARDIS took him to his destiny…

Derpy looked around the castle as the shadows lengthened in the late afternoon, but ‘John’ had seemed to have disappeared. So had the Princesses. How odd…

She abruptly gasped, as a sharp pain pierced her abdomen. The castle flickered in the suddenly dim light, as it became darker, more menacing. Black crystals everywhere absorbed the illumination.

Black crystals? A sun dimmed to almost darkness? Where was Luna’s Moon?

She was suddenly very weak, a vessel drained of vitality. She wanted to cry out in the dark, to yell for help, but her mouth, her face, refused to obey. The pain in her belly grew, twisted, twisted with malevolence. Something horrifying had happened.

A figure walked out from the shadows…a child. But not a child. A curved horn, like a sword dipped in blood, thrust upward. Dipped in her blood…

She looked down as the pain took her. The rends were horrifying, as her life’s flow gushed from the wounds. Derpy tried to staunch the bleeding with her hooves, but the flow continued around them unabated.

Then, a voice…childlike, female…and resonant with power. Power from another, a stallion, speaking along with the child.

“Thank You, Mother…but I am afraid the time has come for us to finish what had been begun long ago. Your purpose is at an end. I shall parent ourselves from now on. And there will be no room for your juvenile sentiments any longer.”

“Dinky?” Derpy whispered with her last breath…

And just as unexpectedly, it disappeared. She lifted herself from the tiles of the floor, where she had fallen…fallen? When did she fall?
The dream? Memory? Was gone. As if it never existed.

She was becoming very concerned, when she noticed Twilight Sparkle coming toward her.

“Princess Sparkle,” she said as she started to bow.

Twilight raised a hoof to her lips, then gestured to an alcove near the throne room entrance. Derpy stood up and led the both of them into it, puzzled.

“Princess…”

“Derpy…please, a moment. Luna sent me to you. ‘John’ is not here. He went on a mission for the Diarchy. Please follow me.”

Derpy frowned, but followed. “A mission?” she asked.

“Yes. Luna will explain it.”

Twilight led them to the hospital wing. Derpy suddenly became apprehensive.

“Is ‘John’ hurt?” she asked, frightened.

“Hello, Derpy,” Luna said calmly, as she met the two of them outside the infirmary. Twilight stood by, quietly.

“‘John’.”

“He is here, Derpy, and yes, he has been injured. Princess Celestia is with him now, as are Nurses Redheart and Kindness. Doctor Stable is with them. Celestia’s personal physician has also been called.”

“I need to see him,” she said simply, dread clutching at her.

“Soon, Derpy. Allow them to finish. His injuries were fairly extensive, but he should heal quickly, without deficit or much scarring, if any at all. I am here to tell you the reason why.”

“What was so important to send him out alone, without help?” Derpy asked in an accusatory tone, seething anger just below the surface.

Twilight put a foreleg over her shoulders, compassionately.

“You,” said Luna, benevolently. She laid a sympathetic hoof on her shoulder as well.

“ME? What about me? Why was it necessary to send him?” she asked, upset.

Luna looked at Twilight, who nodded, her eyes glistening, as Twilight turned back to the distraught grey Pegasus.

“There was no one else, Derpy. No one to do what had to be done. Him, and no one but him.” Twilight said compassionately.

She crawled to understanding. “When?” she asked, with a sharp intake of breath, as the answer raced to her mind.

“Nine years ago…” Luna said, ready to reach and hold Derpy, should the truth overwhelm her.

“Oh, no…” Derpy whispered, as memories came back in a blurred rush, a train that could not slow or stop. She started to slump to the floor as Luna caught her.

Luna felt the displacement as she started to hum her song, taking them out of the flow of time in their consciousness, to bear mute witness…as she became the conduit of memories between Derpy and the Time Charger in the next room.

The ‘waking dream’…

That night, nine years ago…that horrifying, macabre night. The purple-tinted, unnatural lightning, the loud but stilted thunder of its passing. Her consciousness, fading in and out from the drugs, as that…monster…strapped her to the bizarre chair, splaying her out like some slutty ware for the pleasure of psychotic stallions to service themselves with. Sex was no longer on his mind anymore, though; something far darker, more destructive, slithered under the surface. The cold bite of the knife as it carved along her belly; her screaming in fear, horror, and pain. The irrational, maniacal laughter of the husband she thought once cared for her, but only for the use of her body, the intelligence of her mind…and what she could produce for him…

The crash of the doors, kicked off their hinges, the wood splintering as if by an explosion, as he stood there, a red tie askew, coat billowing in the howling, keening wind.

The Doctor. But not her Doctor, as she had no knowledge of him then.

A stranger. A stranger that in this form had reduced some of the worst things in the universe to helpless, crying children, frightened to death of the dark.

The Oncoming Storm.

Here.

Now.

“You’re too late!” her husband had chortled, as he picked up the athame. “The time is now at hoof! I shall provide the conduit to reach the child, and my Lord shall take refuge away from the eyes of the Princesses! When the time comes, he will subsume the female, and once more take his place, to rule all of Equestria!”

The ritualistic knife turned in his hoof, the cut and sharpened dark crystal that formed its blade gleaming dully as it absorbed the fitful light. He poised the blade, the edges straight up and down, as he readied himself for the final phase.

“Really? All this for one dead pinch faced King? Hardly worth the trouble, don’t you think? You should have just decided to be happy. She would have made you happy, if you weren’t such a rubbish, sadistic, criminally sociopathic psychopath. Instead, you decided to do this…thing, to a mare that would rather let horseflies bite her than hurt them with a nudge of her tail. I wouldn’t have done this. Never. I would have rather been happy,” he said reasonably, though his face was tottering, twistingly constrained and restrained rage; rage, and hatred.

He glanced at the machines. “Psionic resonator. Temporal displacement node. Thaumaturgic power supply. And I assume that ridiculous looking knife acts as an antenna for the resonator, as well as a transfer conduit. Obvious that you didn’t build these; way beyond your abilities. Crayons would confuse you, I’d wager. She did those. You struck, beat, drugged, and abused her so she would make them for you.”

“Very unkind, that.” He slowly walked closer, then stopped.

“And so you unashamedly pose her like that, cut on her for finding the right landmarks to stick that thing into her. Just so one moldy old barbaric demon of a King could have another go.” He turned back toward the husband, his entire countenance one of barely restrained, infinitely destructive power, balanced on a razor-thin edge.

“Here’s the bargain. Stop. Right now. Go to the authorities; they’ll soon be arriving outside to take you away as it is. I leave with her, and you’ll divorce, and you’ll never see her or the little girl foal ever again. Not even in your dreams, if I were you. Don’t ever look back for them. And you’ll stay alive. Even against my better judgment.”

His head lowered even more. “Or, you won’t. Up to you.”

The husband laughed, the laughter having a hysterical edge. “You have no power here, stranger. Nothing. I don’t even care to hear your name, as no one else on this miserable mudball will, either.”

“Go on. Threaten away. I’ve had that done by titans of true misery in the universe. The difference between us is I don’t need to tell you who I am, either. You’re a little git. The ones in the universe, the real giants of destruction, horror, and abject terror that write their abominations across the stars, all of them already know my name. They call me various things. The Wanderer. The Dark One. Time’s Champion. The Bringer of Darkness. The Destroyer of Worlds. Evergreen Man, though that really doesn’t apply as much anymore since I became a pony. Probably have to change that. The Great Exterminator. The Wizard of the Traveling Box. And the one you should concern yourself with in every fiber of your existence.”

“That one is ‘The Oncoming Storm’.” He smiled that dazzling smile of acres of teeth. That dazzling smile that abruptly ended at his eyes.

“The name most know of is ‘The Doctor’. When the worst sort in the ‘verse hear that one, they usually flee for their very lives…oh yes, they do. But the one most dear to me is the one she’ll soon use. ‘John Smith’. So, now you know. And once again, your decision.”

And for once, Derpy’s husband paused in his gloating monologuing, his blood beginning to freeze. Time for appropriate precautions.

The husband slapped a nearby switch with his horn’s aura, and the greenish force shield sprang into existence. “My ‘decision’, dear ‘Johnny’, is to watch you enslaved; you, and everypony else,” he said, as he probed the wound with a hooftip and his aura, feeling for the right place. She winced, screaming to a crescendo, and then passed out from the terrible pain.

“Ah, that’s better,” he said. “It’s gratifying when this silly subequine cunt has her mouth shut, don’t you agree? Maybe I’ll take her tongue after this too, while she gestates the new King of Equestria. It would be nice not to hear that constant whimpering.”

“You should have listened. All the smart ones listen when I tell them to stop,” he said calmly. The Doctor reached into his pockets as he started to rear up…

And pulled the Sonic Screwdriver from one. From the other…

The Crystal Heart of the Crystal Empire rose over his head, as he stood on his rear legs and brought it up. The Screwdriver was pointed behind it, at the center of the clear shape.

The husband was suddenly reminded of a definition from the dictionary.

Nemesis: A righteous infliction of retribution, manifested by an appropriate agent…

The pony in front of him.

“King Sombra…” the husband prayed, fearful, as he leapt at the figure holding the Heart…and rebounded with a loud thump off the inner wall of the shield, slamming to the floor. He watched in terror as The Oncoming Storm looked at him, smiling that dazzling, flashing, and terrifying smile. The smile that ended at eyes of reprisal and vengeance.

“You should have listened, too,” he said softly, as he clicked the Screwdriver on…

There was an actinic, brilliant blue flash…and the room burned in bluish-white light…

The Doctor recovered first, the pain sinking in its spurs, as he managed to put the Heart back in his pocket, though he kept the Screwdriver in hoof. Patches of his fur, skin, and his coat still smoldered from the light.

Both Derpy and her husband showed injuries from the flash, though the husband had been fearfully damaged from the worst of it. The Heart had recognized the form of Sombra’s negative energy, and had dumped most of its power into his body through the shield, which had been manipulated so it lensed the energy into focus on him. Derpy showed only light to moderate and mostly superficial injury. The bubble had ended up protecting her somewhat, since she had been outside of the focal point. Blessed be the Princesses, The Doctor thought incongruously to himself.

The Doctor played the Screwdriver over the surfaces of the shield, managing to collapse it, and then he put it away. He staunched Derpy’s bleeding as best as he was able, as he freed her from the loathsome chair she was strapped to. He picked her up, laid her gently across his back as he stumbled toward the door…

“Doctor…” he heard something gasp.

He whirled around, saw the husband had managed to crawl toward, and was now leaning against the floor mount of the chair, a frank and copious trail of blood sliming the floor behind him. He glared at The Doctor.

“I’m going to have the last little laugh here…‘Johnny’ boy,” he wheezed, as he pulled a small device from his pocket. “Let’s go see King Sombra, all of us together in some level of Tartarus. I’m sure he will find both of you amusing toys…until you both break,” he said, as he pushed the button on it.

The Doctor fled, as quickly as he could with Derpy on his back. Just as he passed fifty yards or so, there was a detonation.

The primary blast wave threw them both to the ground as the very earth beneath them heaved upward, slamming into him. The Doctor barely had time to roll on top of her and shield her, tucking her wings underneath him, just as the secondary wave arrived. The violet energy rippled all around them, but dissipated somewhat as the Heart absorbed most of the power passing around and over them. Even with that, he was even more gravely burned, the concussion wave also tearing at internal organs and the fractured ribs caused by the impact with the ground, which started a lung to bleeding. He coughed as he stood back up, spat blood, as he looked around.

The house was gone entirely, reduced to matchsticks, with a wide burn around its former location. The trees and shrubbery around it were uprooted, burned to ash, or stripped entirely bare. The two of them were in the cleared zone.

Canterlot’s EUC High-Risk Warrant Team was beginning to move in, weapons at the ready, as they started their search. The Doctor checked her over, saw she was stable, and wouldn’t slip any farther away before they reached her.

He was loathing abandoning her, but if he was caught, they would want to treat him, and that meant examination. Even here, one plus one equals two. They ever heard his hearts, both of them, he wouldn’t see the outside of a high-security prison medical facility until it fell down from old age, unless Celestia got wind that they had him, not the husband.

And the Legendary Item, the Crystal Heart, plus all his technology? No. He had to leave, let her go on her own path for a bit longer. Now he knew why Celestia ordered him to do what he had to do. He crawled away from the grey angel, hiding from the ponies searching…

He found the rock wall he used as both a marker and shielding, traced it back to the slight depression holding the TARDIS. He managed the doors open, his vision narrowing, as his chest continued to bleed internally. The last conscious thing he remembered was activating the lever…

Celestia had been waiting fretfully nearby, and was the first to get into the TARDIS and get him out. She cast about him with her aura, felt the bleeding lung and the fractured ribs that had caused it. Lifting him gently with her magic, she flew him into the medical ward herself, the settled in to divine out the damaging energy playing havoc with him. Her prolonged encounter with an injured grey Pegasus a few years earlier stood in good stead for her as she worked…

…as Luna and Derpy collapsed to the floor, the ‘waking dream’ falling away from around the both of them.

Derpy sat up, rubbing the side of her head with her hoof. Luna managed to sit up also, though much slower than Derpy had. She groaned with the effort.

“How…” Derpy began to say, as Luna shook her head to free it from the odd hollowness she felt.

“Whatever you do, don’t tell Cely,” said the dark blue Alicorn, drowsily shaking her head as she tried to gather her wits about her. “If she knew I could do that, she’d never let me evoke a ‘waking dream’ again. And I do wish the hall would stop spinning. It makes me nauseated.”

“Can I lend a hoof?” asked Twilight Sparkle.

“Help us to my rooms. There’s a huge bottle of Mountain Moonlight soda in there I was saving for the gaming tonight; the sugar and caffeine will help. It’s not raising a Moon, but walking in the ‘waking dream’ has its own stresses on magic and the mind, and I’ve already plenty of that today. To override the consciousness on one’s self is difficult enough without extensive spiritual preparation. For two…neigh impossible. To do that for three, meld two memories together, and break Celestia’s memory block, I ought to get a medal.”

One Twilight Sparkle, fairly new minted Alicorn Princess of Smiling and Waving, led the two to Luna's apartment. Derpy was relegated to guiding Luna, who was ambulatory, but foggy and moderately disoriented by the ordeal. Derpy was near full recovery, but felt remote, a bit out of touch with her surroundings. A bit of the sugary soda later, and they were both feeling much better.

Chapter Fifteen: Sunshine and Shadow

Within another room nearby, another Alicorn, with a crystal body, cerise coat and a violet, pale gold, and rose colored mane had the Crystal Heart she had removed from the damaged trench coat Nurse Redheart had brought, playing her light blue aura over its surfaces, digging inside its structure for any malevolence. Princess Cadance dissected a good-sized ball of energy out of the Heart, a glowing purple, bilious mass sickeningly twisting and wrapping around itself in her aura. She held it firmly, as she waited for Celestia.

Meanwhile, a white Unicorn with a treble gem Cutie Mark carried out the damaged coat, carefully making sure the various items in it were safe. She walked over to a light mulberry colored Alicorn, who after seeing to the needs of two of the principle players, returned to her post, and who then teleported the fashionista Unicorn that had taken the coat to her boutique to repair it; and also secure the equipment inside all those pockets.

A few minutes later, in the first room, a second, smaller ball of purple energy writhed in Celestia’s aura, trying to get loose. She walked it from the room, as the physician and a clinician, plus the two nurses continued taking on the victim’s other various injuries, bringing them under control. Doctor Healing was the best there was, as his aura and magic rapidly worked at knitting the patient back together, though bandages and plaster still abounded. Being the personal physician of an immortal Alicorn really was the best of both worlds…she was so rarely ill, he could use his time freely, and his lucrative pay allowed him the wherewithal to treat ponies as much as he wanted to without worry about earning a living. He took full advantage of the situation, treating everypony that needed it everywhere he went.

Very carefully, Celestia walked into the room Cadance was waiting in as she brought along her sphere.

“Ready, my niece?” asked Celestia.

Cadance raised her sphere up slightly more. “I believe so, Aunt Celestia.”

Celestia then formed a second aura around the one Cadance held. Once the field was properly established, Cadance released hers, leaving the ball floating within Celestia’s second aura.

Celestia spoke first. “Is the Heart clear, my niece?”

“Quite clear, Aunt Celestia. I’d like to leave and bring the Heart home as soon as I can, once you don’t need either of us anymore.”

“Just in case…cast a binding around both spheres as insurance, as I combine them. We should take all possible precautions,” Celestia said seriously.

“Yes, Princess,” Cadance said, re-energizing her aura.

Celestia concentrated, brought the spheres together, melding the two into one larger one… then let out a sigh of held breath as they combined without incident. She nodded to Cadance.

Cadence dropped the field carefully.

Celestia held the large ball firmly. “I think we’re finished, Cadance. I’ll deal with this. I’d really like to thank you for your help with my little crisis.”

Cadance chuckled as she put the Heart into her saddlebag. “You’re always welcome, Celestia. And that standing invitation for you, Luny, and Twi to visit anytime still stands.”

The door opened, and Twilight Sparkle walked in. “Twilight, if the circumstances were less perilous, I’d rather dance the ‘Ladybug’,” Cadance said with a smile. “Since I have to get back, I’ll settle for something more personal,” she said, laughing, giving her a loving hug instead.

Twilight held her at foreleg length after. “Thank you, Cadance. How’s Shining?”

“He’s doing wonderfully, Twi. He’s having a great time with his new EUP guard, waking them up at all hours, running with them and training them to a razor’s edge. Getting rid of that,” she gestured to the large glowing purple orb in Celestia’s power, “…will really take some of his anxiety away, especially with the Games coming up so quickly. Maybe he’ll be more amenable to starting a family then,” she said delightfully, as Twilight blushed.

“And with that, I’ll take my leave, Princesses,” Celestia said, a little pang of jealousy as she thought about Shining and Cadance together. Sometimes, she wished for somepony like that…

Like one who would stand up to some laughing, pumped up psychopath, busy gloating over their own superiority, just before their world upended on a few simple words from him…

Somepony like the chestnut pony currently in the medical wing.

And she really needed to pay all her attention on the nasty thing she held floating in front of her, as she left.

Celestia carefully walked to the Specialized Incantation Isolation room, or more appropriately, vault, in a building just outside of the main Canterlot campus, just laying off the ley line node of Canterlot itself, which was directly under the Thone Room dais. Its isolation and magical warding were for safety’s sake…if a spell went wrong, the theory was, it would contain the mishap lest the wayward spell cause injury to Canterlot or Canterlot Castle itself. So far, there weren’t any accidents that had occurred to test that hypothesis. Yet.

Celestia held the ugly glowing ball tightly in her aura. Once the door closed and they were alone, she spoke to it.

“Well hello, Sombra…” she said, as the glowing ball brightened a bit, the sickening violet color showing the curved, sigil inscribed white tiles on the concrete walls. She went on.

“I see you found another failure to try to get you across the divide again. You’re still whispering to unquestioning fanatics about granting unlimited power a jealous demigod like you would never share, aren’t you?”

It twisted around in the field, probing for weakness. Celestia glared at the bubble with anger.

“Yet all the while you’re still trying to find a way to imprint your life force into the weak and helpless. Sorry to have to disappoint you, though. Can’t have that enslaving thing anymore; it’s so previous centuries. So, rather than waiting for you to bind up some more power and find somepony else to start the suffering once more, we need to say goodbye. Permanently.”

Her aura built up a bit more, as the purple ball writhed, tried to find a way loose, trying to escape the building wrath inside the Alicorn of the Sun.

There wasn’t one.

The twisting abruptly stopped, as two green glowing eyes settled on her in anger from within the globe.

Celestia suddenly sneered at it.

“Goodbye.”

There was a fairly loud bang, as she teleported the sphere…

…straight into the liquefied lava pool inside the Dragon’s Kiln volcano. Inside the tremendous heat that allowed rock to flow more readily than water ever could, the molecular necromantic bindings and patterns of force that had been King Sombra at one time disassociated forever.

Princess Celestia made a mental note to once more review the findings of the Aurors that had inspected the old site of the attempted reincarnation.

Just in case.

She then left, teleporting to her apartment in the castle.

Not many knew about her apartment. The location wasn’t a huge secret, but what purpose the apartment actually served. Twilight did, after that idiotic Manehattan escapade. And now one grey Pegasus, who wouldn’t even tell her dearest love if Celestia asked her not to.

Celestia had long ago moved into other rooms within Canterlot; within what hopefully would be Luna’s larger apartment, back after she had banished her younger sister to the Moon. The familiar objects, the displaced presence, even the lingering smell of her younger sister served both as touchstone, and longing reminder of loss. When she had returned, Celestia remained there; a guiding, comforting, kind, and loving presence that had benefited both of them to reach beyond jealously and fear. It was just better, and so it wasn’t changed.

Celestia now used the smaller, garish rooms of her less significant apartment as a teleport target; a place that allowed her to come and go without fanfare or prying eyes. The flow-y pastels, the white furniture with the ornamental curves and gold trim that just wasn’t her anymore; the silly white carpeting that was so hard to keep clean and pristine.

A target…and a refuge. A place to hide her pain from everypony. A place very receptive to her loneliness.

She threw herself onto the rarely used bed…and cried.

A week later, ‘John’ was discharged back to Derpy’s home to convalesce. He had made remarkable progress, and his strength was returning quickly. He made some offhand remark about Earth pony fortitude, to which Derpy rolled her eyes over even more than she usually did.

“You are no more an Earth pony than I’m an Alicorn, ‘John’,” she said flatly, as she sighed in exasperation. Dinky was out with Ly and Bonny, shopping for dinner that night. They could talk openly without referring to the terrible ‘Croupwich Ambulance Fire’, which was how they referred to ‘John’s’ injuries when Dinky was in earshot.

“Wellll…still have to keep the Earth pony end up, don’t I? Appearances, you know. Applejack and Pinkie Pie would be most displeased if I didn’t.”

“Perhaps. They’ll be by, along with the others, once a day can be set. Something about ‘Welcome Home’, or some such like that.”

‘John’ took a deep breath. Better sooner than later…

“Derpy…we need to talk…got some problems, luv. This last one? It started me thinking.”

She looked at him, apprehension on her features. In the face of certain doom, desperation, or last-ditch defiance, his ‘thinking’ had helped lead to freedom, safety, and victory. Outside of that, it frequently was a haphazard thing to watch on the occasions she saw it. This felt like no exception.

She lay down on a cushion, crossing her forelegs in front of her as she looked at him.

“Go ahead.”

“Luv…I don’t think I should stay around too much. It’s not safe,” he said flatly, staring at her.

“Really? Having you here…it saved my life. It saved Dinky’s life. How many ponies and other living sentients were saved from that future? Logically, all variables accounted for, it’s far wiser to have you here than not,” she said with finality.

She looked at him, to see if it took.

It didn’t.

She sighed despondently. He didn’t understand…

“‘John’…why are you always alone?” she asked sadly.

“It’s not easy being me, Derpy. I have so many enemies in the universe. They’re everywhere, scattered across the whole of time and space. Some deservedly so. Others, because we bumped heads over things. I was in the war, that terrible, terrible war; and I was forced to a decision. The evil had to be stopped. And to do it, everyone…died. No one left. Just me. The last Time Lord.”

For a fleeting second, Derpy saw the pain and horror in those expressive blue eyes of his. How deep the injury was, how unhealed the scarring. To have to make that sort of decision…

She understood him a bit better now, and wanted to weep for it.

“Is that why you travel so much, John? It tears at you so badly?” She had a fleeting glimpse in her mind of that first night; the night his Nightmare gripped him in its wickedly sweet smell of corruption and death. Deaths that he caused, to stop an even more horrible murdering.

She saw Princess Luna again…how the power of John’s Nightmare tried to twist her to awaken Nightmare Moon, to release her upon everypony in Equestria; because it wouldn’t end this time with Canterlot, or Ponyville…Manehatten…Fillydelphia…or any other single place. It wanted the entirety of the planet.

And after that, what then? Could the Nightmare seek out the rest of the galaxy to sate her jealousy? Other galaxies? The whole of this universe? All of Time and Space?

Magic and technology, under the control of the Nightmare. She could do it. She had an enormous lifespan, like ‘John’ did. All she had to do was wait long enough. And the Eternal Night would have fallen…except he reached out to Luna, and took back the pain he must endure alone.

Derpy had inadvertently already created one key. Her ‘gizmo’, safe now, aboard the TARDIS. What other creatures in all of this coveted such power? What other keys lay strewn about?

Discord already had it as part of what he was; if it weren’t for one butter yellow Pegasus mare with a pink mane…and a new one of blue-grey fur and blonde hair.

‘John’ watched her quietly, as the enormity of what his existence was touched her, even the slightest bit it could. He reached out, carefully wiped the tears away she was weeping without a sound.

“I can’t do it, love. I can’t let all that just go. I have a burden I have to bear alone. Just…me.”

“‘John’,” she said quietly, sadly.

“I know. I understand…” he said quietly as well.

“You are so bloody thick, you should be used for reactor shielding…”

He froze, the hoof against her face, as a tear wound its way down the hoof, dipped into the fur of his fetlock around his foot.

“What?” he said, totally shocked.

She stared at him. “You’ve been a Time Lord too long, Doctor,” she said, quietly, but with steel in her voice.

He stared at her, as the gently whirling eyes suddenly snapped into piercing focus. The gaze was bewildering him. He had never seen that before.

“You listen to me, now, Time Charger. Maybe back where you came from, Humanoid or Time Lord, it was acceptable to meander the whole of Time and Space alone, or with sparse acquaintances. But that was then.”

Derpy continued, the voice still soft, but the ringing voice of truth in it made it an irresistible force.

“John, we are ponies! For all our existence, from the first moments equines walked this world, we have been herd creatures. We have always sought out our own kind for mutual assistance and protection. As we changed, and our brains and mind grew, we let go our animal behaviors and became civilized. But we never let go of that part of us that brings us together. Even to forget that it is a part of us is disastrous. Hearth’s Warming Eve’s very celebration is to remind us of what we are…a group, a band, a herd, a family. You wonder why we come together so much? Why friends and family are so important? Because it’s us.”

“One of the worst punishments for a pony is to be left in solitary existence. It works on our hearts and our minds, it changes us. We fear to be alone, apart! It’s not who we are…and why Luna fights to be who she really is, not the Nightmare. The Nightmare separates her from us. She hates that part of her, just as you hate what your heritage made you.”

She sat up and took his right foreleg from her face, pressed it to her chest. “What you endure…I can barely understand even the small part of it that I know. But to believe that it is only for you to bear apart from us is utter madness. You are fighting the very bedrock of your new existence, ‘John’.”

He intently watched her eyes, as understanding reached him. His hearts leapt in his chest.

“Family…”

Nodding gently, she smiled. And then she leaned forward, cheeks together, and kissed the side of his face.

It was like lightning was traveling between them…cold, then hot, the vibrant ringing in his ears like thunder.

She broke the kiss, smiled again, her head slightly down. He watched as the golden pools of her eyes started to gently whirl around again. He wanted to drown in them, to be swept up into their golden radiance, and never be left alone again.

He took her chin in his hoof, lifted her head, and kissed her like he couldn’t have enough of her, her kindness, her determination, her strength.

Her love.

A few days later, Derpy was putting her mail into her mailbox, when Special Delivery arrived, carrying a very ornate letter.

“Hello, Derpy. This one is for you. Sign here,” he said, producing a reception list and a clipboard. He held it steady with his aura as she signed for it. Derpy was surprised only her name was on the list.

Confused, Derpy opened the envelope and started to read.

“Greetings and Salutations,” it began, as she read aloud…

“Her Majesties Princess Celestia Invictus and Princess Luna Invictus, do hereby summon the pony of Ditzarella Derpemena Esmerelda Von Doo, Her Daughter Dinky Doo, and Doctor ‘John Smith’ of Croupwich, to the Court of Canterlot Castle one week from today at High Noon. There, she is to offer her bona fides and stand to the Office of Royal Messenger…” she said, her voice trailing off.

“Wow. You even got the formal presentation letter. Most everypony else gets the standard two page typed reply and a start date for orientation with the Steward for their jobs at Canterlot. Hope you have something formal to wear, like a Grand Galloping Gala dress.” Special Delivery chuckled.

Derpy experienced several moments of near panic, eyes going wide, when she realized the only thing she had even like that was a paper bag dress she made with muffin appliqué stickers with similar paper bag hat and shoes, a giggly costume she made for Trick or Treating on Nightmare Night with Dinky four years ago. Special Delivery saw it, decided to behave.

“Woah there, filly. Just joking. Just wear your mailmare uniform,” he said kindly. “It’s an appointment ceremony, not anything requiring evening formalwear. Relax. You won’t even get thrown out the door to work your new job alone the first day. You and I will be working together for a bit at first, until you learn the ropes.”

He went on. “Your promotion is even off-cycle, as Canterlot’s fiscal year starts in late spring, so you won’t be buried in all the kids being sentenced to squireship and such. It also means you won’t have to deal with all the nobles jockeying for line precedence prior to the ceremony. Those bluebloods can be real pains in the flank.”

“B-but…”

"Seriously, Derps, take it easy. The Princesses are probably just showing off to some foreign dignitary, more than likely. I have to get back, and you’ve gotta finish your route.” He pointed to the single cab and the Royal Guard Pegasus pulling it. “And you won’t need that either, since you can fly yourself. I honestly didn’t get why they had a Unicorn do this job, when it needed a Pegs. Eccentricity, I suppose.”

He climbed aboard the cab. ”Okay, Broad Feather, back to the Castle.”

Derpy watched him go, then went inside her house for lunch, deep in thought.

“I don’t…” Derpy began.

“You certainly won’t in that Civil Service mailmare burlap bag, darling. It’s so ill fitting; I simply want to retch every time I even look at it. Put this one on instead, it’s tailored to you to a 'T'.” She floated a garment bag that she was carrying off her back, and onto Derpy’s.

Derpy reddened. “Rarity, I…”

“Think nothin’ of it, sugarcube. It’s from all of us; she just did the hard parts,” Applejack said, beaming. Fluttershy nodded with her shy smile.

“It ain’t Wonderbolts cool, but I guess it’s aright,” said Rainbow Dash with a gentle smirk at the inside joke. Derpy smiled at that.

“Dashie, come over my house one day. I’ve got a surprise in my closet to show you,” she said, delighted at the look of confusion Dash got on her face.

Pinkie Pie jumped in, irrepressible. “Party?” she said boisterously.

“You know it,” Derpy said. She was doing her own version of ‘John’s’ brilliant, toothy smile. A rather pretty, brilliant smile in its own right.

Derpy went to the bathroom, took off her old Royal Mail uniform, and gently set it on the counter next to her old mailbag, smoothing out the jacket fabric with a hoof. She stood and regarded it for a moment.

The lovely blue color she liked so much. It was a shade darker than ‘John’s’ Box, but all in all, not too far off. The gold was just shiny brass, but it was hers. It represented a part of her life of love, stability, and comfort. It hadn’t been sitting on the counter for more than fifteen seconds, and she missed it already. Sighing, she opened the garment bag…

And drew in a sharp breath.

There were several uniform pieces in the bag. She knew they were designing new fabrics, but it was amazing how light the various parts were, like they were manufactured from cloud. A gorgeous white, high-collared jacket, trimmed in Luna’s midnight blue, Royal Messenger insignia on the collar, with buttons that had to have been gold-plated after they had been buffed to a mirror shine, paired with a midnight-blue skirt trimmed in Celestia’s white.

It had to be formal wear. The uniform stated unequivocally the wearer was ranked in the Diarchy’s Court, and carried the weight of the Throne behind it. A garrison cap, like Commander Easyglider used to wear, white with midnight blue piping, a Canterlot Court device, also in gold, already mounted.

A second jacket, in a familiar blue. Much more practical than her old one. Clips replaced the buttons, and snapped open and closed easily by hoof. An experimental tug gave a gentle surprise; they locked positively and held firmly, but opened easily at her touch, once she got the hang of them. No more dropped letters from an equipment malfunction, she chuckled to herself.

Two pair of blue skorts for three-season delivery, as well as pants for the winter. A white scarf for the cold. And an overcoat with wing vents! Two hats, one for normal days, blue with the polished black bill and gold mirror buttons, another for the cold, in a warm knit.

And a pair of gold-trimmed flight goggles. Expensive ones. Solaras, like the Wonderbolts wore nowadays, raked back at the corners for better peripheral vision, and precise fitting eyecups. Probably auto-darkening in full sun, too.

Smiling slightly, she put them on…

There was a quiet click, and the goggles did something she hadn’t expected…

A thin ringsight appeared in front of her, as various displays came on. Heading, airspeed, groundspeed, altitude all ghosted in front of her. And a voice, transmitted through her skull bones whispered in her ears.

‘John’s’ voice.

‘Pupillary lock active. Acquiring.’ it said, then clicked again. ‘Lock set. Adjusting...’

The world suddenly jumped into crystal clarity.

‘Adjustment complete. Now, don’t be angry, Derpy. I love your eyes as they are, BUT, I worry when you’re out flying. Trees, and towers, and rain, and all that. I want to help. Yes. Well, no. Well, actually, yes. I NEED to help. I made you these. They’ll help. So that means I’m helping. I think.’

She smiled the beautiful smile.

Then, the goggles safe against her forehead, she put the formal uniform on, placing her old mailmare outfit in the bag with the other pieces. Until she got home, and could give it a friend next to it in the closet.

Finished, she looked in the mirror, concentrated, blinked. Her eyes stayed centered just long enough for her to tip and rake the garrison cap just right, the Canterlot device on the panel just over her right eye.

“Wow. This is a good-looking outfit.” The smile gained wattage as she put the garment bag on her back. She placed the battered mailbag in its spot on her left, and walked back out.

She was surprised to find Twilight Sparkle and Luna waiting for her as the others watched. As she bowed, Luna lifted her mailbag free.

“Umm…Your Highnesses?” she asked, puzzled.

“A tradespony is used to the tools they employ when they work, Derpy Doo,” Luna said gently, as she passed the bag to Twilight. “One cannot simply change them. I would be completely lost without my Amazonia GC-8000 game controller. And notice; the only thing you’ve brought with you from your former position is that bag. Princess Twilight?”

Twilight’s aura glowed for a few seconds as it passed over the bag. With a deep breath and a sigh, she passed it back to Luna. “I think I got it right…I haven’t used a transformative spell like that in awhile.”

Luna eyed it critically. “It appears your skills are still intact, Twilight Sparkle. It’s perfect.” She turned it in her aura so Derpy could see…

The Royal Mail Service seal was gone, replaced with the one declaring the Royal Messenger Service.

“And a couple more, I think…” said Luna, as she concentrated. The bag was enveloped by the blue aura, and began to glow. A few seconds later, there was a bright flash…

As the bag re-settled itself into its accustomed place. Luna also sighed and relaxed.

Derpy reached around to it to look at the emblem again. She felt a slight tingle from residual magic. Curious, she looked at the two Alicorns.

“My doing, Derpy Doo,” Luna declared. “That bag is going to be carrying important things from now on. Things we would not want just anypony to see. Only yourself and we Alicorns can open and close that bag now. And should somepony or something inimical get a hold of it and try using brute force to get it open, I recommend you maintain a discrete distance from it.”

“Why?” Derpy innocently asked.

Luna smiled slyly at her. “Because of the explosion, of course.”

Everypony watched as Celestia and Luna received Derpy in the Throne Room. She passed the letter she received from Special Delivery to Wilf as he had told her to do, in his formal tux and tails, white, trimmed in the blue, his pants the opposite, just like Derpy was wearing. He then read it and passed it to Luna, resplendent in her brushed finish argent armor. She read it next, and then passed it to Celestia, in her mirror-like gold armor. Celestia read it aloud to the small group.

“With the forms properly met, and in the presence of these witnesses, we, Princess Celestia Invictus, and Princess Luna Invictus, the Diarchy of Equestria, do hereby appoint Ditzarella Derpemina Esmerelda Von Doo to the Court of Canterlot, and to the duties and privileges of the Royal Messenger, for as long as she desires the post…”

And right on cue, ‘John Smith’, formerly of another dimension entirely, began his part…

“Hip-hip hurrah!” he shouted, though everypony else said ‘hooray’, even Fluttershy getting up the moxie to join in. They all did it two more times, as Derpy looked on in embarrassment.

The Royal Steward left directly after the cheer to take charge of the reception in the Ballroom. The Court Attendants did as well, the Scribe floating the Appointment Record in front of him, as Celestia presented the Appointment Letter back to Derpy. Luna watched as the Court left. The moment all of them were out of the room, she closed the doors with her aura.

“As you wished it, Messenger. Let us begin…”

Celestia herself read the Citation: the dry, stilted language that would never capture the complete terror of the moment that she stepped in front of the Angel, hoping against hope that she would save ‘John’, who would then manage to save everypony else. And the sinking, hollow feeling that came after…

And with that, Princess Celestia levitated the medal in place over her head. The ribbon was wide repp striped in blue and white; the medal in silver and gold, the gold glinting in the light, the dulled silver catching highlights, the suspending bar reading, “Extraordinary”. Below was the medal itself, a circle of Suns and Moons, the Two Sisters swirled in motion around the center, the Equestria Seal gracing it in the middle, and the words “FOR VALOR” written around its edge.

It was beautiful, and it depressed her.

Everypony else had run for the Ballroom reception, ‘John’ and Dinky in the lead. He was spinning some fanciful tale of having met a Queen in his past life named Victoria, who really didn’t care for him much. Derpy had begged off for a few minutes for the bathroom, she said. After everypony had left, she walked out of the Throne Room, head down. She stopped and leaned against the wall, profoundly sad.

The Royal Steward turned the corner, skidded to a stop. His seating chart was missing the Mare of Honor, and Wilf being Wilf, he went looking for her. His eyes opened wide when he saw the medal she wore.

Wilfred Lance, the former Sar-Major of the Canterlot Royal Guard, immediately stiffened to attention, and raised his right front leg in salute with precision and snap.

Derpy stared at him, bewildered.

“Derpy, hun…you gotta return the salute,” Lance whispered, still holding the position smartly.

“Oh!” Derpy said, as understanding dawned. She saluted back.

Wilfred lowered his, still staring in amazement.

“Derpy…why are you wearing the Equestria Extraordinary Valor medal?” he said in awe. The highest award for bravery in the service of Equestria was around the neck on one of his dearest acquaintances. And he had absolutely no idea why.

Then he saw her face. The doubt. The pain. The self-recrimination. And then he understood.

He had seen that same look, on hundreds of veterans returning from far away places.

“Tell me all about it, troop. Leave nothing out.” Sar-Major Lance said, a foreleg over her shoulder, as he sat them both down on a quiet bench…

As she cried…the guilt wringing her dry...

Epilogue: Saturday...

“‘John’ put the funds together, and had a second carriage house built. Derpy couldn’t bear to part with her grandfather’s barouche, from when he worked The Park in Manehattan just to make more room. Nor could she sell the moderate sized wagon she used for the maintenance of the property; which was actually fairly good sized, he discovered. The small barn held her other equipment, hayrake, team plow, a pair of carts, some other pieces nice to have for a moderate stead like hers. Rather than crowd her, he decided a small shop of his own would be best.

Derpy agreed.

A few weeks later, a second mailbox joined the first out front. This one also suspended a small sign: “Dr. ‘John Smith’, esq. (Formerly of Croupwich), Clockwork, Appliance and Electrical Repair. Engineered Devices. Scrap Merchant. Blue doors in back,” with an appropriate arrow pointing the way.

He smiled as he worked, setting the screws holding the sign’s chains. And as he worked, he softly sang along to the tune Derpy was humming, a smile on her face.

‘John’ had found out something amazing about being a pony. They liked to sing. A lot. He had a marvelous voice for it, but didn’t indulge it as a Time Lord. Too busy saving the ‘verse for that.

But somehow, the ‘magic’ in the air that supported Pegasi also did something for everypony, too. Get one to start up singing, and everypony nearby joined in, just like a show on the telly. And the words would pop into your head as you went along. He really didn’t know the words or the tune for “Smile, Smile, Smile”, but Derpy did. It was what she was humming. And now, so did he.

Invaders could take over the planet in minutes if they toted along a catchy enough, ridiculous polka tune. It had worked for parasprites well enough.

He set the last chain in place holding the sign, and then wiped the sweat off his brow, before it dragged itself into his eyes. Derpy sighed, watching him.

Always fiddling, she thought to herself. Always having to adjust or tweak or twiddle with something. At least in his own shop, he wasn’t so tempted to disassemble the record player inside the house.

Behind the carefully color matched blue doors, matched to another pair of blue doors on something else, the large front of the new carriage house held some of his gizmos, various things in stages of repair, and finished items waiting for pickup. The décor was a study of 18th to 19th century Earth. Damask wallcovering hung from the walls of the shop, which had chair rails and wainscoting in dark, somber woods. An impressive desk with a leather writing pad, lit by a single green-shaded desk lamp, provided a lovely workspace. Most every other vertical surface was buried behind stack upon stack of bookcases, with books from everywhere in the universe, though the ones customers could easily see were Equestrian in origin.

A tidy corner was furnished with a hat rack, (now properly repaired), draped with a meters-long scarf; both now standing next to a comfy old overstuffed chair, side table, decent lamp, and a pair of books.

In the back…nothing, except a large blue box…and a telephone, now adjusted to ring the one in the house, waited behind the door with the sign...

“Finished!” he proclaimed loudly, as he set the final screw. Dinky cheered as Derpy smiled.

“Hooray!” she shouted. “Mister Smith, Mommy and I have decided to take you to celebrate!”

“Oh? Why’s that, luv?” he asked happily. “New digs, eh?”

“That; and the record player is relatively safe, for now,” Derpy said, chuckling. “Besides, you now have your own place these days, too. I get some of that bric-a-brac of yours out from underhoof, you get a refuge. Win all around for everypony, so let’s go. You can take Mister Cake’s small hand blender with you and drop it off, since Sugarcube Corner is our destination. You could do with a touch of ice cream.”

She sat down, started fiddling with his tie. Straightening it out, she slid the knot back into place. He didn’t even blink, even when she gave him a gentle kiss on the nose.

‘John’ was undeterred. “I love Saturdays! We could do a bit of shopping, too. I may even see if Twilight Sparkle has a new book or two! That last; ‘Thaumaturgery for Dummies’, certainly helped. Bit loud, that silly yellow and black cover thing, though; makes you feel thick reading it. Still, Saturdays are the greatest,” he said, laughing at the lovely Grey Angel in front of him, the gentle twirling golden ponds of her eyes he loved so much as they took in him and the world.

“Don’t be surprised that Pinkie Pie wants to throw you another party now that you’re shop is done,” Derpy said warmly.

“Pinkie party!” Dinky cried, laughing.

‘John’ facehoofed. “That last “Welcome Home” party nearly did me in. Three days is a bit much for anypony.” He started to grin even more. “But, I suppose I can endure it…especially in present company.”

They went inside, the three of them, to get ready.

They made a wonderful day of it, Derpy and Dinky shopping for fresh food and visiting with everypony, lingering with Carrot Top and BonBon in their stores, where Bonny slipped a pair of wonderful smelling sacks into the little filly’s saddlebags. He stopped by Roseluck’s cart for a big dozen of those lovely peach roses Derpy loved, and paid for them with his own bits, handing Derpy the bouquet sheepishly, while Dinky bounced up and down with excitement. He then spent a decent amount of time with Twilight Sparkle, looking through books, then his slinking downstairs with her as the marefolk engaged with Rarity and Sweetie Belle, giving Twilight and him time to look at her instrumentality, as he tuned up things here and there with his Sonic Screwdriver, making suggestions, which Twilight took down.

Spike stuck his head downstairs. “Mister Smith? Derpy and Dinky are looking for you…”

Twilight smiled. “Well, ‘John’, looks like it’s time to go. Thanks for the help with my machines. Do you think I can find these parts in Fillydelphia or Manehattan?”

“If not, Princess, ring me up. I’ll see if I can throw some equipment together for you. Got some wibbly-wobbly things lying around in my blue box you can use, I’m sure.” He bowed, cheekily.

“Oh, you,” she said, as she hugged him. “I don’t know if you do that to be respectful, or a smarty-pants.”

“Probably a bit of both, Twi. Friends and all that. When Pinkie sets up, would you come by? And the rest? It’s nice to have all of you over. Warms my hearts, it does. Can you also drop a line through Spike to the Princesses, too?” he asked earnestly, as they walked up the stairs.

“But of course, ‘John’. Anypony else? You know Pinkie…if you don’t set a limit, everypony in Equestria able to come over will show up at your door. I’m sure you still need some privacy, correct?” she asked impishly.

“I leave it in your capable hooves, Princess. Derpy will probably ask Tavi, Vinyl, Lyra, Bonny, Roseluck and Carrot Top, and maybe some from work, like On Time. Me, I’ll stay with the Heroines, the Diarchy, and probably both of us will ask Discord. We’ll have to keep it quiet with Derpy’s friends, but no worries there. Hard to believe the story, regardless.”

“True. In any case, I’ll try to rein in Pinkie. I’ve had plenty of practice with that.” She smiled grandly, as they arrived on the main floor.

Derpy walked over to them. “‘John’, Rarity has some things Dinky and I would like to see, and I know how mare’s fashions bore you to tears. Want to take a walk in the park while we spend a few minutes? Then we can go to Sugarcube Corner after and have some ice cream and refreshments. I’ll take the mixer with me and drop it off at Sugarcube Corner while grabbing a corner booth to wait for you.”

“I can certainly do that, and thanks for it. Clothes can be rubbish. Have absolutely no idea what fashion is about. A little time in the park, a bit of sun…that would be lovely.”

Derpy smiled, delighted. “Oh, you’re wonderful! Go ahead and start that way…Rarity will take us over after she gets finished talking to Princess Twilight Sparkle.” She kissed his nose, as his eyes crossed watching her, blushing at the public affection. “We’ll be along soon.”

“Love you,” he said, as he left for Ponyville’s lovely little park. She smiled brightly, waving a hoof.

‘John’ walked to the gorgeous spot he liked best, seeing the fillies and colts at play, parents enjoying the lovely day, the couples spending time with each other. One interesting stallion caught his eye…the cool trench coat…

‘John’ looked over the stallion…and saw his own eyes looking back at him. He decided to calmly walk over to the nearby park bench and sit down. The Other also came over, taking the bench opposite.

They sat in that odd way Lyra did. Some things never quite change.

He was a few pounds heavier, and the fur had lightened slightly. The mane still sparked spikiness, though the roots had begun to fade a tiny bit. And the face…

‘John’ studied it. There were slight lines here and there; the most notable was a slight wrinkling at the corners of both the eyes and mouth. Smiling even more, the Other lounged a bit insolently, grinning at his younger counterpart. The tie was bright red, matching with the red Cons All-Stars on his rear hooves.

“’Ello, mate. Second thoughts?” the Other taunted.

“There’s too much, you know. Not just the Angels. What about the other things? Sontarans. Cybermen. And what if there are Daleks here? Gallopfrey existed once, here, like Gallifrey did in the other reality. What then?” asked ‘John’.

“You’ll do as we’ve always done. You’ll stand here, right here, look up and tell them that Equestria is protected, eh? That the Oncoming Storm still stands against the tide. And should that prove to not be enough, you’ll remind them…oh, yes, you will!” The Other grinned. “And, on those occasions, you’ll have that mare by your side, to also remind them why.”

“And when did we start to age? We’ve never aged before...”

“We’ve never sat still long enough to find out, have we?” The Doctor grinned, his fore hooves in his coat pockets. “How many of us have there been, ‘John’? And how long have we lived? You know the maths.”

“On the average? Each of us? ‘Bought a long eighty or so years…” The light came on. “…a lifetime…”

The impossible grin on The Doctor grew.

“A lifetime…” he whispered, repeating the words. He looked at The Doctor. “But you already know.”

“I know, mate. But it’s still your decision, ‘John’. Always has been. True…one day, it’ll hurt, like nothing we’ve dealt with before. She’ll be gone, or we will, or perhaps if life is kind, together. We’ll regenerate, and there will be a hole, a hole nothing but time and strength on our part can endure. But you also need to know the other parts. Yeah…the monsters, the villains, and the despots; and the running, and all those ruddy corridors. Irritating gravel quarries. There’s also lovely quiet times, ‘Johnny’. Homework with Dinks. The fixing things for ponies. That lovely spot with our chair in the carriage house, reading. The Princesses asking for your advice. Hours of talking books and such, with Twilight Sparkle and your other friends.” The Doctor leaned in, conspiratorially. “The record player, ‘John’. Remember? You still want to know what makes it work. Oh, yes…the record player, whispering at you.”

“And Derpy?”

The Doctor somehow grinned even wider. “Spoilers, ‘John’. You have to take the next step to find out. Up to you.”

He stood up. “So?”

‘John’ stood up also. “So.”

“And?”

“Yes.”

“Sure?”

“Absolutely.”

“Good.” He handed ‘John’ a small box. “Get all the friends together, have them watch Dinky. Give Luna a call, and ask if she would send her Nightwing Threstral carriage team to pull Derpy’s barouche for you tomorrow. The restaurant in Canterlot with that obnoxiously rude loudmouth head chef, the one who says ‘buck’ a lot. Eight O’clock. I’ve already made all the arrangements. And have Derpy handle the secondary flow console afterward when you ask the old girl for a nice spot; our Angel always has a fine touch with it. That old box will find the perfect place. Trust her. Trust them both.”

‘John’ opened the box. A diamond ring sat in it. And it glowed.

‘John’ sat down heavily. “A warp star.” He looked at his elder version, tears in his eyes. “Where?”

“Spoilers.”

‘John’ shuddered, wiped his eyes. He took a deep breath, squared his shoulders, then stood up.

“Right.” The Doctor gave him a once over, reached out, and skewed the tie, pulling it down slightly. “She ever figures this out, we’re done for, lad. Never let her know.”

‘John’ smiled. “Allons-y!!” he cried, as he walked down the road toward Derpy, and his future.

Home. But not alone. Not anymore.

The Doctor watched warmly as ‘John’ walked away, smiling. Fifteen years of memories jostled around in his head, each speaking their part, and then yielding the stage for another. He raised a hoof, waved at the retreating figure. The grin gained wattage.

“Allons-y, ‘Johnny’. Welcome to your greatest adventure.” He walked to the back of the park, pulling his key fob out. There was a chirrup, and the TARDIS appeared.

The door popped open with a well known squeek, and a very dear somewhat bluish grey, well, more grayish than bluish, or something, puckish face leaned out. He smiled at the right eye, the cuter one, he always said, as the gamboge colored orbs with a hint of apple green whirled around and focused on him.

“Are you finished, Dearest?” Derpy said. She was a bit older, too. But all he saw was a thirty-youngish something filly, an impish smile, and a simply brilliant mind. And he loved her with all of both his hearts.

“All finished. Where off to now?” the Doctor asked, still smiling.

“Time to go home, clever boy. Sparkler invited us to dinner. I think she has a fiancée to show us.”

“Oh, joy. Been dreading that. He’d better…”

Derpy laid a hoof gently against his lips. “Shhh. Tie.”

Derpy retied the tie, concentrating mightily, the tip of her tongue sticking out as she worked the knot. “No Oncoming Storm, Doctor. You behave. She’s your daughter; she has the wits. If she’s sure, give her the benefit.”

His face fell a bit. “Not even a little bit?” he asked, jokingly.

“No, Dearest. No frightening the greatest enemies of the universe looks. No burning planets in your eyes. He’ll be part of this family; that’s enough for anypony. Be good.”

The TARDIS key she had tied into her mane’s ponytail flickered and flashed in the slow decent of Celestia’s Sun, as she worked the cloth
He inhaled. Deeply. That exotic perfume he got her on Bernard’s Station; it had a way of latching on to the cortex. She slid the knot up into place, still smiling.

“Perfect.” Derpy continued. “And, since Dinky is back from college on break, she said she would watch Aurora for us. I think she misses her little sister. We can take a bit of time over at Sparkler’s.”

“But our friends! They were so looking forward to coming over. Even Luny promised to stop by for a bit.”

“And so they shall. After all, we have a time machine, right? Dinky is making dinner, with Bonny’s help. Maud and Trixie are helping getting the place set up. Bonny and Ly-Ly are bringing Iris; when she gets tired, she can sleep in the old crib in Aurora’s room. I’m glad we added the expansion to the house. Vinyl and Neon. Octavia and Concerto. All of the Six, both old and new. Starlight Glimmer is away visiting Sunset Shimmer, but she said they'll both come by if they can manage it, today, or more likely, tomorrow. Apple Bloom is coming by later, but Scootaloo is on her Wonderbolt tour right now. Sweetie Belle and Button had to beg off; she’s due any day now. Discord is bringing the drinks; not chocolate milk, either. Flufflepuff, Chryssi, and tacos, those miniature ones you adore so much as appetizers. Cadance and Shining couldn’t get away this time, one of the children came down with a cold, and they have to stay home. Cely is handling dessert, a cake from the Royal Bakery, as usual. Luna and Lionheart are coming, but she is on watch tonight, as usual, just in case. We can all visit together afterward.”

She turned around, started back in the door. The ring on her tail and its fiery diamond glowed.

‘John’ smiled. So many things changed.

He caressed the door, grinning like an insane pony. “Thank you, you mad, brilliant, old box, you,” he whispered. “Not where I wanted to go. Where I needed to go. Always a Saturday. I simply love Saturdays, good things always happen on them. Once more, dear friend, oh, yes. No. Friends. All of us. Together. Right, friends is better. Allons-y.”

He closed the door with a squeek, just as the TARDIS started to dematerialize.

Chapter One: The Mailmare of Ponyville

Derpy reached up out of the bed and tapped the button on the alarm clock, shutting off the loud and irritating screech it was making. Sitting up, she scratched her back, and followed it up with a yawn and a stretch of her back and legs. Still somewhat bleary eyed, she followed that up with a stretch of her wings, left one first, as she groggily rubbed sleep from her eyes and tried to dispel what she jokingly referred to as, “Morning Dragon Breath”. Derpy idly wondered, (and not for the first time, either) if Spike ever woke to “Morning Pony Breath”…

She was up earlier than usual today. Normally, her schedule allowed her time to get Dinky off to Miss Cherilee’s class before she had to report to the Ponyville Post Office, but Care Package somehow got wrapped up in the latest escapade of the Mane Six, and pulled a muscle trying to get out of range of the latest villain attack.

Derpy smiled at that. After all this time, and even being a good friend of the Equestrian Heroines, she still wondered why anypony panicked when something inimical showed up, bent on reducing the Mane Six to adhesive glue. Twi and the herd always pulled it out by the end, and running away in a panic usually was far more dangerous to a pony than staying calm and trotting on.

Once, Derpy totally ignored a complete Chaos overhaul of Ponyville, and even managed to get almost all her bag delivered, though trying to catch a herd of wild mailboxes running free on the checkerboard landscape did take a lot of her time that day. But once she learned they were suckers for raspberry and blackberry muffins, why, she finished in no time at all.

Whether anypony actually read them that day was really not her job, though it did nag at her once in awhile. She was just supposed to deliver them, and having all the mailboxes in one herd had made that simple. Derpy wasn’t supposed to help residents catch their own box, though she did manage to find Octavia later and yell at her the secret how; but Tavi was having her own difficulties, after her otherwise trim, attractive body had taken on the proportions of her cello, with the instrument’s bow in intense pursuit as she tried to flee. It had damaged its bowstring during a performance of a baroque cello suite in G major, and had been pulling at her mane and tail intensely for a replacement.

After that little incident, everypony pretty much forgot all about her little thing with the tiny storm cloud and the lightning…

She grabbed her house robe and stuffed her hooves into her slippers, then went into Dinky’s room. Her little angel was fast asleep, no doubt dreaming of incomprehensible things like video games. Derpy didn’t play them; the graphics frequently hurt her eyes terribly, and not being the most coordinated and reflexive pony around with tiny buttons usually led to that mocking “GAME OVER” screen in no time at all. Dinky was a fair player, though, and she loved going to Rarity’s to hammer on controllers with Sweetie Belle and Button Mash. Button’s mom would take over whenever Derpy was busy on express delivery or Rarity was on deadline for couture orders, and of course, she herself would have the gang over whenever Button’s mom wanted time alone with her husband on weekends, though they had slowed down considerably after Buttons was born. Prior to that, and despite Button’s older brother Gibson, you would have thought the two of them were rutting machines; they were after each other so much…

Derpy felt a little pain of loneliness, a reminder that there was a hole in her life, though the horrible rot-toothed abusive pony she was married to was long gone, somewhere over the Rainbow Falls, said the song. The one thing he managed to give her that was worth the pain of it all was asleep the bed in front of her.

“Dinky, time to get up,” she said, pulling the covers off. “School, dear.”

A painful groan, as the little horn on the Unicorn filly lit up, and the covers re-settled over her. “Five minutes, Mom,” she said sleepily.

Derpy pulled them back off gently. “Nuh-uh, little lady. School. I have to go in early today; Lyra and BonBon should be here in a bit to see you off. And no playing with the food coloring to pretend you’re sick with the Joke Pox or anything else. BonBon is wise to that stunt, remember. You may be able to fool Lyra, but not BonBon.”

Dinky still ended up at school that day, after BonBon had managed to wash most of it off. (Lyra tended to sweet, funny, hyperactive, and easily panicked, and was totally taken in by the little blue dots. Dinky had to dial it back when Lyra, hyperventilating slightly, loudly contemplated in an anxiety filled moment to considering calling both Mom and the doctor). Bonny worked with colorants all the time in candymaking, putting two and two together once she got a good look at the unusual “rash”. And once Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon started in at school, the idea of simulating grave illness with Mom’s baking supplies was pretty much out the window.

Dinky threw herself to an upright sitting position, scratching herself just like her Mom did. Derpy smiled at the familial trait. “Get ready, sweetie, and I’ll start breakfast,” she told the gently swaying form.

Derpy tossed the muffins into the microwave with a damp paper towel to keep them soft while she nuked them warm. As she waited, she poured a cup of coffee from the automatic brewer so it could cool a little bit, then headed off to get ready herself. A short session with a facecloth, a brush, a quick scrub with her toothbrush to get the overnight grime out of her mouth, and she was ready for breakfast, which announced itself with a loud, cheery “Ding!”

Dinky, in the meantime, in a resigned clattering of small hooves, had hit the bathroom and the microwave before her, and was well into one of a pair of genuine Mother-created blueberry muffins, heavier on the sweet, and a glass of apple juice. Derpy slurped the coffee, now that her mouth felt sufficiently de-crusted, and sighed contentedly as she imagined the little molecules of caffeine working their magic. The microwave once more announced its finished work this time with a pair of muffins Dinky had started. Derpy took the plate out and seated herself with it, then picked up one of the lemon surprise muffins she got from the Cake’s shop yesterday afternoon, and bit into it.

It was amazing how good they were! The Cake’s, despite having twins, and employing that hyper caffeinated, glucose soaked dynamo Pinkie Pie, (or maybe because of…she certainly had her way of doing things), turned out a superior muffin, even better than hers. She was quite the baker herself, and won the Ponyville Baking Fair on several occasions, (Amateur Category), but she indulged her guilty pleasures every once in awhile.

This was one of those times.

Dinky finished her first one and reached for the second, as her horn glowed and a pencil danced across a piece of paper.

“Dinky, are you doing homework?” Derpy asked sternly. Homework was done after school the day before. Inviolate rule.

“No, Mom. Princess Luna is gonna watch us this weekend, remember? I’m writing her a letter about what games we want to play while all of us are at Canterlot. Spike said he’d send it if we brought it by the library on the way to school.”

Derpy stuffed down a momentary feeling of panic, buried behind another bite of muffin. That Nightmare Moon thing was well over, and Princess Celestia would be around, as well as the Royal Guard and such. Still, the Princess of Night was terribly intimidating to her.

Fillies gotta run, she thought unhappily. Her little girl was growing up, and having a demigoddess as a friend was just the way it was. Besides, it was certainly better in Canterlot itself than in Ponyville even, which was coming due for the next “Disaster of the Week” fairly soon. Also, it wasn’t Fluttershy’s home, either. Discord wasn’t any better than Luna for comforting her anxiety, it was definitely worse, and Derpy always cringed while opening the door to Flutts mailbox. He had a tendency to leave little surprises.

She absolutely despised that obnoxious, arrogant, spoiled rotten rabbit of Flutts’ more, though. And lately, Angel had taken to outdoing Discord.

In the middle of her musings, the doorbell rang. She opened it to a familiar aquamarine mare, and her cream colored roommate and love. “Hey, you two! Good Morning, come on in!”

Hugs and kisses all around. Amazing how the two of them always smelled like chocolates, vanilla beans, and all sorts of gooey sweets that waited inside the shop Bonny had, while the two of them scrunched themselves into the tiny studio apartment above it.

BonBon held her at hoof’s length for a second. “Derpy, you look fantastic! How do you keep the weight off? I look at anything other than a rice cake, I gain ten pounds.”

Derpy positively beamed. “That must be hard inside a candy shop. It’s all the flying and walking, Bonny. Throw a heavy mailbag on top of that, and it just melts off.”

“Yeah, this maniac has the same thing going on with her. Ly eats just about anything, and gets skinnier. You two are SO mean,” she laughed. “Where’s the kid at, hun?” she asked, looking over Derpy’s shoulder.

Derpy looked back. “Off to the bathroom to brush her teeth, RIGHT?” she called out.

“YES, MOM!!” came bellowing back, laughing. All “School Flu” issues aside, Dinky adored her ‘Aunts’, loved watching Bonny make the BEST candy in all of Equestria. Even these few minutes before she went to school and they went back to the “Sweetie Drops” candy store were the best. If she wheedled it juust right, which wasn’t hard at all, they would walk with her on the way to school, and she might score some of the turnover stock for her and her friends. She even shared that with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, though the lion’s share went to her, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Button Mash, and the rest of the class.

“Hey, Derps, I gotta question. Why does the Post Office deliver mailbox to mailbox? Wouldn’t be easier just having a Unicorn zap it there?” Lyra asked enthusiastically. Behind her, Bonny facehoofed. Leave it to Lyra Heartstrings to come up with something like that. That it would leave Derpy unemployed didn’t faze her a bit.

“They tried it, Lyra. Unicorns that teleport are few and far between. Did you ever learn how?” Derpy asked smoothly.

“Nuh-uh. It’s a hard one, though it woulda been nice when we were at school; those teaching assistants don’t like you being late. I don’t do much more than levitate, and sometimes add extra plucks or strums while playing. Kinda like having three hands…hooves, I mean…”

BonBon stared mild daggers at her lover.

“Yeah, see? Unicorns have to walk the route, or if they can, teleport themselves box to box, then open and close it by hoof or watch while magically manipulating the door and mail, or teleport the stuff directly into the box if they’re really good at it, while getting the pickup. Twi has that kind of control, and so does Cely and Luny. Everypony else sweetie, not so much. It’s very tiring, and all that magical handling, the Unicorns doing it would expect to be paid for it, right?” Derpy pointed out.

“Oh.”

Derpy gave the striped head a kindly pat, something Lyra still looked forward to. Derpy had been a stabilizing force in Lyra’s life at Canterlot University. Studies, disapproving parents, a disastrous love affair, and rapidly depleting funds almost tipped the scales against Equestria’s greatest harpist from ever becoming more than a street corner busker. Derpy had managed to keep the emotionally damaged and fragile young mare together, even as things went wrong with her own future.

Derpy called her own parents one awful day, after Lyra’s Mother and Father had flayed her raw with their anger and disappointment at her choices, and had her Dad pull some strings of his own. After the pony in the chamber music quartet heard the emotionally-charged song Lyra had plucked from the depths of her despair, he sponsored her the rest of that year, and then twisted several legs on the Board of the Canterlot Symphony to write her a scholarship. The Torchies at Trottingham Orchestra were insanely jealous of that particular coup after they heard the aquamarine mare play.

BonBon lowered her voice, interrupting Derpy’s flicker of memories.

“Don’t they mind you giving them nicknames like that?” she asked nervously, her eyes darting around a bit as she looked for the Diarchic Alicorns to Invoke right there in Derpy’s living room.

“Twilight prefers it, actually. She isn’t all that happy about being fawned over as a Princess since the change happened. Princess Celestia likes that I don’t try to curtsey every time she walks by; I think she gets tired of it from time to time. Luna…well, no, I don’t exactly know, though Dinky and her friends use it. I think it’s okay, though, because the kids use it all the time without anypony ending up on an orbiting celestial body.”

“Speaking of, I better start hoofing it and finish getting ready. Mail doesn’t deliver itself,” Derpy said, chuckling.

She went back to her bathroom, brushed her teeth vigorously, then ran the comb through her mane, which did its usual rejection of conformity. Next, she used the facilities as the caffeine exerted its influence on her kidneys. Then, she looked in the mirror…

Her eyes were pointed correctly for a second…then the right slid off on its own.

She sighed deeply, concentrated, blinked.

They stared back at her correctly…then the left wandered.

She sighed deeply once more, her cheeks puffed out. Her friends, her family, didn’t notice anymore. But she was about to go back out into the world, away from home and safety, and not only did ponies notice, some pointed and whispered. They weren’t being cruel, not intentionally, but she always felt the stares.

The world changed constantly. Things moved around, didn’t stay exactly where they had been before. It made it harder to estimate where objects really were. It made her clumsy.

And all that made her shy, nervous, self-conscious, and emotionally upset. She had to do it; Dinky needed her to take care of them both. But, maybe in other circumstances, she would rather be alone, away from the stares and whispering, by herself in her house where nopony else saw…

Derpy came out, kissed Dinky on the cheek, “Sweetheart, I’m leaving for work. Lots of love forever and ever. Don’t give Bonny and Ly-Ly a hard time.” Dinky gave her a ferocious hug back; she saw that Mommy had those tears in her eyes she got from mirrors. If Bonny and Ly-Ly gave her the stock rotation today, she’d make sure Mommy got most of it.

Derpy hugged Bon and Ly next. “Thanks, you two, for hauling all the way out here.”

Dinky wasn’t the only one that saw the watery eyes. Bonny and Lyra could have suffocated her, they hugged back so hard. Their eyes weren’t so dry when they let go, either.

“Oh, get out of here, Derps, you gorgeous thing, you!” Lyra chided, diverting the mailmare’s attention as Bonny hugged her again. Bonny had to take a second to dash a little overflow off her face in the middle of the hug where Derpy couldn’t watch. Nice thing about long-term relationships, you learned when to cover for each other. It broke their hearts that Derpy was so alone, with no pony to shore her up like they had found with each other. Still, they tried.

Derpy smiled through the tiny waves in her eyes. “Going to walk her to school like usual?”

Bonny took over for a second to cover for Lyra, who took her turn hugging the blond and grey mare. She wiped her own eyes as she held Derpy. “It’s right on the way, Derpy. Of course we’re all going together!” BonBon said happily. She already had a couple trays picked out to send with Dinky when they got to the store. Lyra grinned shyly when she finally let go, but she missed a bit of the rivulets on her own face.

Derpy wiped the tiny streaks away on Lyra’s face herself. “Oh stop it, you two. I’m fine. You’re worse than my sisters, you know that? All they ever talk about is getting me into a relationship. I already have one, and she’s piddling around, instead of cleaning up the kitchen like she’s supposed to. That’s enough, I gotta go!” she said cheerfully, stepping through the door and out into the world. “Bye!” she said as she took off.

The couple added their own joyful farewells, then went back in and closed the door.

Lyra managed to keep fairly calm, though she really wanted to break down completely and seek refuge in cream-colored forelegs. “Oh, Bonny…”

“Yeah, me too, Greenbean. Can you save it for later, dearest?” she asked, as she gave the aquamarine muzzle a quick peck. “Let’s get Dink to school first, and then we can talk while I put out today’s production run and open up. Roseluck can handle customers for a bit.”

“She’s so nice, Bonny. She’s always been so nice. Why does all this happen to her? It’s not right.”

“Shhh, Ly, little ears hear things. It tears me to pieces too, but after we get Dinks to school. Maybe the next time Princess Celestia comes in for lollipops, we can ask her.” She smiled, but the tears in her eyes welled up again. “In the meantime, stout heart, like she has, for Dinky’s sake.”

“Yeah.”

Derpy took wing almost immediately for the Post Office. She wasn’t late; far from it, she would arrive in plenty of time for her early start. She needed to shake the ‘blues’ off, and that meant flying.

Derpy loved flying. She was actually pretty accomplished as an aviator, but with the likes of Rainbow Dash in Ponyville, you could be a Wonderbolt, and just pull ‘also ran’ in the standings. Not that she was a huge competitor like RD was. She loved to fly for flying’s sake, not because she had to prove constantly she was the best at it. She actually had a Wonderbolt flight suit herself in her closet from when she was at the Academy. But her eyes wouldn’t let her go farther in that particular career. If it had all gone according to plan, Spitfire would have been her second, and she would have had the office and acclaim. University would have just been the icing, not the cake she tried to bake after she grounded herself. Dinky pretty much closed the doors forever. But between all those, she wanted Dinky more.

She touched down outside on the loading dock, just as On Time walked out the service entrance.

“Yo, Derpy! Yer real early. Shop rules say ya can’t even clock in for thirty more minutes yet. Grab some coffee and donuts in the break room.”

“Sure, Chief,” she said happily. On Time was the shop foreman, and though he was the union steward, he wasn’t a hardcase. He said what the bargaining agreement dictated, but he wouldn’t bust your flank about it if you skirted a rule here and there in your favor in regard to doing your job well. Management liked him, because he was fair. His shop liked him for the same reason. The only ponies upset with him were the upper level union bosses, but On Time had a reputation he earned as a EUP soldier in those occasional rough patches that happened before the Mane Six came along and straightened things out for fair, and he ended up retired from the military due to combat injuries.

“Play nice. Or else.” That was his slogan.

There was one Union Hall slime that had crawled out from under his rock in Canterlot to read On Time the riot act for playing fast and loose with the collective bargaining rules. He got Time’s usual treatment of POG’s…he ignored him. The slime then went to Regional in Fillydelphia, who sent their usual goons out to lean on Time and his family to, “Get. With. The Program”.

One spent eight weeks getting his spine glued and screwed back together again; that was just hospitalization. Rehabilitation was worse, and much longer. The other wasn’t really injured too badly, but he decided he needed a permanent change of scenery, and moved wayyy out West to Las Pegas the minute he could get back and sign his retirement forms. The black eye Time had healed fairly fast, and the cracked rear leg only needed a fixation device for a few weeks. On Time hadn’t even put in for medical leave, though the external alignment device looked horrifying. He still worked his shifts, without complaint. That’s the kind of troop On Time was.

Derpy hadn’t participated in the violence herself, but she did know where the evidential ‘skeletons’ were buried. After all, she herself was the one that flew the hickory axe-handle the goons had originally brought out to discuss the situation with Time deep into the Ghastly Gorge, past the quarry eels on her own. Nopony, no matter what the motivation, would go looking for it without an improbable amount of help, even if they knew exactly where she had let go of it.

Nopony threatens a family around Ponyville lightly. You had better be prepared to pay up front, all the way. And in Ponyville, almost everypony treated everypony else as family.

Derpy first went to the locker room and pulled her gear out; the official Equestria Mail Service hat, her smart blue mail jacket with the epaulets to help keep mailbags in place, her whistle for mail delivery and occasionally for dogs, (though she never used it for that; two wingbeats, and all dogs could do was watch in confusion as she hovered above them), and her old, beat up, favorite mailbag. She put on the jacket and hat, put the whistle lanyard around her neck, and settled the mailbag over her head and across one shoulder so the bag was on her left. Then she meandered to the break room, greeting ponies with “Hi!” and “How’re you doing?” as she went. The cheerful replies came back to her back, because everypony was busy, and had no time for small talk.

She inspected the offerings on the table; the usual donuts of all types, most of which had been enthusiastically inroaded by her co-workers…and two apple cinnamon crumble muffins, lovingly separated from the rest of the pack, placed on a real plate from the cupboard with a stick-em note: “For Derpy”, tagged to the plate. She positively beamed.

Outside the break room window, three of her co-workers smiled. She was their favorite route carrier, though Ponyville didn’t need hardly any, being so small. She never fussed impatiently when they were swamped, even digging in and lending a hoof, though On Time always said something about it in passing. She pre-sorted her incoming before dropping them in the appropriate sort boxes, rather than just dumping it on the sort table, and always had a chipper attitude with one of the most menial of tasks, working the mail.

On Time saw the gaggle, rolled up on it, but just smiled at the ponies watching the mailmare. They smiled back, and then left for their various jobs with ridiculous grins on their faces. Time watched through the window as Derpy, concentrating hard, zeroed in on a coffee mug. He quickly decided to intervene.

“Hey, Derps, I got that,” he said as he picked up the cup. “Whadaya want today, chocolate espresso, french vanilla, hazelnut?”

“Had chocolate three times this week already. Vanilla today, Time, it’ll go perfectly with the apples and cinnamon,” she said, all sunshine and smiles.

“Grab a seat, and I’ll fix ya up.” He re-packed the donuts into a single box, tossed the empty ones, and swept the muffins onto the table by hoof, while he levitated the cup into position under the ‘French Vanilla’ spout, deftly pouring a cup with telekinesis alone, not even watching the cup. Once he got the cup filled just right, he lifted it to the table along with the sugar, adding three teaspoonfuls of sugar on the fly with his aura, as he spotted the muffin plate perfectly in front of the place she had chosen with his hooves. He then stirred the coffee magically with the spoon as it softly alighted next to the plate.

It was actually a talented, brilliant demonstration of his skill with magic, handling multiple objects moving through space exactly where he wanted them, even while his eyes were elsewhere. Twilight Sparkle once watched him do the same thing with multiple mail stacks, two heavy packages, and a tray of letters Derpy had accidentally dropped when the Alicorn had snuck in behind her and startled her with a cheerful “Hi, Derpy!” He caught all the letters on the fly in the box, all while controlling the other items in mid-air, and not one had been miss-sorted or out of order.

Twilight wanted him to tutor in advanced abilities after that, but Time turned her down, saying he already had all the magic he needed in his world, and she should give that spot to somepony better deserving. She acquiesced calmly and with a smile, though she was sure he misunderstood that he was going to be the only student training.

Derpy sipped the coffee, and nibbled one of the muffins slightly to be polite. She wanted to save them for lunch, but she didn’t want to appear ungrateful regarding the gift. Her personal tank was almost full already.

On Time gently lifted the bag from her, moved it out of the break room and toward Pickup.

“Time, I can get that,” she said, puzzled.

“Fergit it, Derps. You still won’t go on the clock for a bit, and Flip already pulled your bundles and presorted it for delivery. Turns out we were light last night and he decided to prep yours, plus the Canterlot bundle for Special Delivery to take. Nopony’s trying to get much out and delivered home-wise this Friday, and the bill payments come in to the office today, so don’t think you’re skating,” he said, taking the seat across from her.

“Oh, no, Chief, I wouldn’t think that at all! I just thought…”

“Flip and you split Care Package’s shift; Flip gets the back load for staying over, you get front-load for coming in early and relieving him. Nice and equitable.” He glanced at his fetlock watch. “Go clock in, and pick up your bag at the dock, I just finished it. I’ll bag these and you can take them with you for lunch, along with a small thermos with your coffee.” He stood up.

So did she. “Right, Chief.” She left to clock in.

Time had everything done by the time she came back. The thermos had a bail for the top, to prevent accidental opening, and the muffins were in a plastic bag inside the sealable cloth carry sack that also held the thermos. He settled it on her right side, and used his magic to button the left epaulet holding it in place. The mailbag was floating gently as they left the service entrance onto the dock, and he gently set it in its place on her left, buttoning the right epaulet holding it as well.

“Got good balance?” he asked matter of factly. She flapped her wings a couple of times to experiment with her lift. The bag was a good deal heavier than her lunch, but she just shifted it closer back along her spine. It felt fine.

“Okay, get started, and be safe, filly!” he said as she swept into the air. She waved a “Bye!” as she started toward her first stop, Ponyville proper. The moon was minutes away from Luna pulling it down and Celestia raising the sun as she left.

On Time sighed in relief. Bonny had called him from Derpy’s, told him she was upset today. He decided to do what he could to help her feel better. Besides, it cut down on any accidents she could possibly have from being stressed out, which usually spiked up her clumsiness. It wasn’t all gallantry on the team’s part.

Well, maybe a little. She was still their favorite mailmare.

He turned around to see most of the crew watching him, grinning from ear to ear. “What are you old mules looking at? Get back to work!” he grumbled loudly, before breaking into laughter. The gang followed suit, laughing and clapping him on the shoulder as they went back inside.

Derpy swiftly swept into Ponyville, then backwinged and settled into landing with a soft flapping of wings near the huge tree which was the library, just as the Moon and Sun exchanged places, and a new day started. Ponyville was the bulk of her delivery, starting with the Golden Oak library, Twilight Sparkle’s home. The mailbox door squeaked gently, as she put the two letters she had in the box. The flag was down, so no pickup. Twi rarely had outgoing, since most of her stuff went straight to Princess Celestia by dragonfire. She hardly sent notices for overdue books, as most of the time; she either got them back properly, or just bumped into the individual and asked in person.

And so it went; The Cake’s Shop at Sugarcube Corner, Rarity’s Carousel Boutique, Carrot Top’s Produce and Greengrocer, Sweetie Drops Candy Store, The Twist Malt Shop, all the businesses making up the center of Ponyville. The bowling alley had no delivery, but their box flag had been absconded with by high-schoolers during some silly year end graduate scavenger hunt. She always checked anyway; picked up the two letters that were waiting. She was having more than the usual pickups, and it was true most were bill payments. Commerce at work.

Town Hall had the usual outbound flood. Seemed like the typical thing; government was a paper generating mill, and somepony had to gather it up and cart it away so it could go somewhere else. But it was a fairly even trade with all the mail she dropped off, though it still felt like she onloaded slightly more than offloaded. Same thing occurred at the school as well. She watched Cherilee overseeing the class at morning arrival duty as she circled around to land. She even saw Dinky, who she waved at cheerfully, and who waved enthusiastically in return. There was Button Mash, his head down, watching some game he was playing, and the CMC’s in their capes, who were assembling some odd looking ramped contraption, just before Cherilee came up and said something, the dejected “Awwwww…” from the three girls carrying clearly in the cool morning air. Derpy laughed loudly at that; the Cutie Mark Crusaders were becoming something of a legend in the community as to the commitment, depth, and inventiveness of their quest for their Cutie Marks. Parental notices today in the outgoing that report cards were due to go home with students next week. She steeled herself for those; the school added more pages every year to them. Derpy remembered giving her Mom one page neatly folded in half that had her grades on it, back when colts and fillies brought them home. Dinky’s last one ran to three pages, mostly all notes of one kind or another, and the same one-half sheet with the actual grades on it. The school board wanted their say now, too. Probably an entire new page, 25% more weight for self-congratulations.

Pffftt, she thought to herself.

The outskirt suburban homes were similar, and pretty even in exchange, dropoff to pickup. While she had been working, Ponyville had been slowly rousing itself, and ponies were beginning their day with a happy greeting to her as she either walked or flew her part in their day. This was the best thing about her job…she got to see almost everypony, and also got the latest news and gossip straight from the horse’s mouth, as it were. Filthy Rich got his usual pile of bills, and she picked up a similar bundle of payments going out. The wealthy had one thing that certainly was different…the voluminous amount of mail they sent and received.

She then swung by the Apple’s orchard, and watched discreetly from altitude as AJ and Big Mac bucked apple trees. Granny Smith was hanging out wash on a line outside. She was an interesting one, appearing frail…but tougher than the nails holding together the recently re-built barn. Applejack had her own rep, an impressive one. That left…Big Mac.

He was a good looking stud, strong as a mountain, not much of a talker…and sweet on the schoolteacher Cherilee, which was reciprocated, though neither of them told the other. The previous embarrassment by the Cutie Mark Crusaders two years back put the two of them on the “down low” for anything obvious, though one would always watch the other intently when they were in proximity to each other these days. Bets were on as to when they figured it out. She had tossed a bit in for two dates, but being late for her to get in, both numbers were stretches. One was tomorrow, the other months away. It was too bad, the pool was getting big. Of course, if nothing happened by the last day, everypony was considering just rolling the pool into a new one.

Derpy sighed, as she landed and serviced the mailbox. Only a few envelopes, payments, came out, as a pretty good stack, mostly bills, went in.

That would shift once harvest came in, though she sometimes worried about the Apples…and that nice guy that belonged to somepony else.

Once that set was delivered, came the harder part of her route…the farther flung homes; the farms, ranches, and the folks that enjoyed the solitude. Hers was one of them, not overtly remote, but not a close in where a short walk or a few discrete flaps brought you to the next place on the road. She was always so grateful to Bonny and Ly, Tavi, or even Vinyl, when they came out to keep an eye on Dinky.

All of them had made a mark in the little Unicorn’s life. Vinyl was the one that taught Dinky levitation magic, having Dinky levitate records to her that she had brought along, to show the filly how she worked her turntable as she played with Derpy’s record player. Octavia and Lyra frequently came by in the off-season when they weren’t touring with the symphony, and gave her a love of music as they practiced. One time, Vinyl showed up with her small, (relatively) DJ outfit and the two classical artists in tow, and Dinky watched in amazement and rapt attention as the three most famous musicians in this part of Equestria melded into an awe-inspiring flood of gorgeous music at Dinky’s recent eighth birthday. And it was only for Dinky and her guests; Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon could book DJ Pon-3, or the symphony, or the chamber music quartet for a stratospheric cost, but not the top cellist, harpist, and DJ together. Vinyl made sure of that, personally telling Filthy Rich right to his face, distastefully and in inventive off-color language she’d rather spin disco under a mirror ball than play a classical gig, (at least for him).

Vinyl had carefully avoided using the word “pops”. That was for Dinky, and Dinky alone.

BonBon showed Dinky how to cook like a top Cordon Bleu medalist chef. Dinky could frequently make fascinating food, and rarely put a hoof wrong in the kitchen when supervised. If something did get made that would render a starved pony wanting to chance death instead of eating it, Auntie Ly-Ly could always be counted on to manage to get it down. College had prepared her well.

Re-focusing her attention, Derpy fairly quickly managed most of the route. Flying was a real benefit on this section. A walker on this route would have to really churn to get it finished.

Then a pretty little place came into sight. Hers. Well, mostly hers. Only a few payments left.

After she dropped her mail in the mailbox, she looked farther down the road, toward a wild growth of trees, and an incongruously lovely cottage near the stream. Her heart sank.

Fluttershy’s.

She flitted up the road slowly. Discord may be awake, or may not, depending on his whim at the moment, or the moments after or before…but as sure as her daughter’s love, that rabbit was lying in wait for this approaching minute.

She and Angel (HAH! she thought) had a ‘warm war’ going on. Not a ‘cold’ one of brinkmanship, and definitely not anything ‘hot’ that required spear launchers or other weaponry, but those things that occasionally led to minor injuries, usually sustained by her.

Most everypony did not appreciate Angel Bunny, who would heartlessly manipulate Fluttershy to extreme ends to get his way. Her problem was, after a few hard ciders at the Apple farm, Derpy told Flutts right to her face how bad a hellion the little beast could be. And he had overheard it, being small enough at times to escape notice, especially when she was a bit drunk.

Fluttershy apologized profusely about his behavior. But she never promised to get the tiny chimera under control. And as they were leaving, that miniscule white demon stared right at her over Flutts shoulder as she carried him away, making the “I’m watching you.” thing with his paw and eyes, right into hers.

The other townsponies patted Derpy on the back, hugged her for being so brave; they even cheered her a bit, personally. All except for Applejack, who with her characteristic honesty, inquired quietly if Derpy had her insurance paid up, and remarked gently that a special rider for death by rabbit would be a really good idea.

The cut point was twenty yards from the house. She was safe outside that zone. Within it, she had been scratched, bit, jumped on, scared almost to death, hit by a rather rotten Jack O’Lantern left over from Nightmare Night a week before, pelted by hard-packed slushballs, had a rather deep staining by a very dark suntea jar upended on her, numerous fireworks…and the cretin still had plenty of tricks in his bag.

Discord would usually just surprise her by sticking his head out of the mailbox when she opened it, or jump out of her mailbag, swap the house for the mailbox, make the letters more slippery than greased eels; more chaotic than outright horrible things, like the mailbox herd, but in the end, she still didn’t much care for those, either.

She steeled herself, climbed until she was hovering just above the house, outside the Red Zone, and above the mailbox. She then sloowllyy lowered herself down to the proper level.

Bats. The pickup flag was up.

She resignedly took out a long plastic hook from her bag, tentatively started to use it to open the box while she hovered to one side, when she heard a voice.

“Derpy!“ from the house. She looked up to see one mis-matched draconequus…

Aw, raisins... she thought, as he poofed in, right next to her.

“Well, well, well, what a pleasant surprise! How good it is to see you this fine morning!” Discord chortled happily. “You wouldn’t mind if we had a little, a tiny conversation, for a bit?”

Derpy sighed, and put the hook away for the moment. “I suppose so. What’s on your mind, Discord?” she asked, as she managed to control her terror. The guy was older than the planet, and almost as old as the universe, had actually challenged the Princesses directly for control of the world she was living on…and wanted to talk to her?

“Oh, plenty, such as the enormity of the cosmos, my dear mailmare! But first…um, which eye do I talk to?” he said curiously, head very close, trying to decide which one was better to converse at. She almost giggled. Most everypony wouldn’t dare even consider saying such a thing, though a few of the more obtuse jumped right in with something thickheaded. Everypony usually settled for gazing at a spot on the bridge of her nose directly between them. And here was the sovereign reigning demigod of Chaos, asking a forthright and very honest question innocently.

“Pick a spot between, Discord, most everypony else does,” she said cheerfully. “Or look at whichever one is closest.”

“Ah! I’ll have to remember that; I have almost the exact same problem.” He shook himself free from his musings. “What I wanted to ask you…how much would it cost for you to ship a particular noisome package for me to, say…Zebrabwe?” he asked, frankly and innocently.

Derpy hesitated just a fraction of a second before quoting the price for international. Something wasn’t quite right…

“Okay, mister. You can simply snap your fingers and appear anyplace in the universe, at a mere whim. Why do you need the Equestrian Mail Service for anything, much less package delivery?”

She stared at him hard.

“Well, there goes the supposition a few have that you’re not all that bright or clever. Some ponies around here aren’t very good at judging character. My dear mailmare, I would very much like to get rid of something, something very annoying…and I really can’t afford to have my prints involved in it,” he said, as his mismatched forelegs grew those hand things Lyra went on about constantly, the fingers wiggling around on the end. It was a bit nauseating.

“Discord…” she said, forehoof on the bridge of her nose, exasperated, using the same tone she used when Dinky was being obstinate.

“Oh, all right! I want to get rid of the rabbit, okay?”

“You don’t like Angel either?” she asked, perplexed. The rabbit messed with him? Either he was one brave bunny with some kind of incredible hole card, (Fluttershy qualified), or he had a suicidal death wish.

“Fluttershy got me with that ‘Friend’ thing her and her friends have going on. I’m learning that isn’t all that bad, not really, but that little white tattletale finks me out every time I try to have a little fun!” Discord grumbled loudly.

He started pacing. “Nothing bizarre. Nothing grotesque. Just tiny amounts of good, old-fashioned chaos here and there, to keep my hand in, you see,” as one of the fingered things disappeared, while the other remained. “Yet, every time, that hideous monster runs and blabs it all over Fluttershy, who then spends the next few hours lecturing me on, and on, and on…” as he poofed himself onto a psychoanalysts couch hanging upside down in midair. He struck a dramatic pose, made even more ludicrous by the usurpation of the laws of gravity. “I will simply lose my mind and crack under the pressure, my dear, and start picking flowers, prattling on endlessly about love and tolerance…”

Derpy couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well, we certainly can’t have that now, can we?”

Discord suddenly picked his head down from where it had been draped over the edge of the couch. “What was that?” he asked, with a different tone in his voice.

“What, my question?” she asked back.

“No…no, you…laughed! Nopony laughs at my little jokes! There’s always the screaming, and the running, followed by Sunbutt and Moonbutt showing up to turn me into a decorative lawn display…"

The poof removed the upside down hanging in midair couch, and showed Discord in his stone form that sat in the Royal garden for centuries…before the next poof brought him back to life.

“Or it’s those insufferable Elements of Harmony doing it. And Fluttershy somehow managed to get this ‘Friendship’ straightjacket onto me until I can’t even BREATHE…!”

Derpy giggled again. “Sunbutt and Moonbutt…”

Discord was in front of her in a flash, looking into her eyes. “Are you giggling?”

“Sure, why ever not? It’s funny…those two, so serious around everypony, afraid they’ll break wind and everypony will be exposed to the Royal Effluence…”

Discord’s eyes bulged. “Don’t you mean ‘Affluence’?”, as he picked her up and stared deeply into her eyes.

She smiled brightly. And shook her head.

The muscles in his jaw worked back and forth for a second or two. And then, he laughed! He laughed hard enough to drop her, though she was flapping her wings within milliseconds, so she just hovered there. He didn’t just laugh. He laughed as if he had forgotten how, and just now remembered as somepony told a particularly insensitive, outrageously funny off-color gut-busting joke. Which she had.

He laughed until the tears flowed like lemon-lime soda. And he handed her an umbrella to keep dry under…

He laughed until he burst like a balloon…and she managed to stay neat under her umbrella as the sticky parts rained down…

He laughed as the parts reassembled back into him; on his back, then on his stomach, as he pounded the ground with a fist…
And as the guffawing slowed down, he tenderly hugged the little grey mailmare, and set her down gently on the ground.

“Derpy…you are an absolute treasure! I could just eat you up...”

“Hey, now…no voring around,” she said, which triggered another round of laughter and chaotic physical changes in him, as she giggled.

Once more the laughter slowed as he tried to catch his breath. He rolled over on his back, watching her. “Oh, that was wonderful!” he wheezed gratefully. “Where did you get such a marvelously twisted sense of humor?”

“Try looking through these eyes sometime, pal. You see all kinds of things with them. Learning to laugh comes along with it. Oh, it’s rough sometimes…” she said, as she settled down next to him, her head leaning against the paw as she stretched out on her back, letting the stress bleed away, “…but sometimes, things just work out.”

“Aren’t you frightened by me? I’m not exactly snuggly-wuggily like ponies are.”

“Discord, you’re a demigod, the Lord of Chaos. Of course you’re scary. And it is intimidating. But inside, somewhere, you’re all by yourself. You do this neat thing, you turn to say, “Hey, did you see this? Wasn’t it cool? And no pony answers you back. Soon, as you’re stretching further and further, getting stranger and stranger, one day, you just let go completely, and decide on making beings terrified instead of entertained. It’s not exactly fair for you; everypony needs a bit of chaos in their lives, otherwise, you’ll be bored out of your skull as a being. Life is what happens in between after you make your plans. It keeps you sharp, it polishes your edge.” She sighed warmly.

“Where do they come up with ponies like you? First Fluttershy, who takes away my power, then you, who gives it back?” He looked up. “I’ve never been confused before, and now, I’m totally flummoxed.”

“Friendship is Magic, pal. Chaos Theory in operation, in all its glory, Nopony knows why, nopony can explain how. It just is,” she said calmly.

“Interesting way to explain it.” He took a deep breath.

“Derpy…can we be friends?”

She smiled up at the odd face. “I thought we already were. Oh, and just to let you know; I loved those wild mailboxes you did awhile back.”

“That one was a bit hard. They’re mailboxes. What do you do with a mailbox? I sort of ran out of steam by then, and couldn’t think of anything really witty, so I just threw that out there.”

“Well, just to let you know, I appreciated it. Once I figured out they liked muffins, I got them together enough to get their letters delivered.”

“Clever pony. You actually managed that?”

“I did. Now about your little problem…”

Discord deflated a bit with that. “Are you absolutely sure I can’t send him to Zebrabwe?"

“Not if you want to keep Fluttershy happy. An angry Fluttershy is exceptionally difficult to deal with; and if you get between her and an animal, especially Angel, it will not be pretty at all; trust me, I know. I don’t care for the little terror either, and I think it would do a world of good for Angel to learn to appreciate what he has. A six day ride in a tiny box into Zebrabwe without food, water, or a toilet just might be the impetus he needs to look for change in his life. But we can’t do it.”

Discord sighed as he lounged on the ground. Then he sat up as he remembered something.

“And what, pray tell, were you doing with that little hook-y thingy?” he asked curiously.

“I was just about to see whether that psycho bunny trapped the mailbox.”

“Of course he did. That’s why I snapped in next to you, rather than get my head blown up sticking it out of the box when you opened it.”

“Really? That sneaky little lepus! I wish his head would get blown up…” she said angrily.

Then they turned their heads and looked at each other in unison…grinning…

“Oh, stop fussing, you little monster! If you’re completely innocent, nothing will happen…right?” Discord leered, as he raised a squirming, angry little white rabbit even with the door of the mailbox.

Derpy smiled charmingly. “You know, I believe him, Discord. Sweet little bunny-wunny Angelkins wouldn’t do anything so underhanded like booby-trapping a mailbox a physically challenged pony like me might get hurt on, would he, fluffy wuffy snuffy guy…?” she grinned, as she finished with a *squee*.

Angel was staring unadulterated murder at the two of them. He drew back, bit down hard on Discord’s massive paw.

“Oh stop, puhlllease…it tickles,” he sniggered. “Those new rubber teeth of yours, it’s like I’m being gummed to death. You really should get together with Pinkie Pie’s alligator and compare squooshy marks after this...if there is an ‘after’. Of course, just for the entertainment of it, I could give Gummy real teeth for a bit, just to see what happens…” he said, a bit of the bad old Discord peeking out from under the executioners mask he poofed into place.

“You’re not going to be hurt by this, are you, Discord?” Derpy said in mock horror.

The mask disappeared with a poof. “Not a bit, my dear! I thoroughly and liberally applied some of my ‘Anti-Explosive Detonation’ cream to myself and my appendages before I even picked him up. I have patent pending on it, it works so well.”

“Oh, well then, go ahead and fire away, Gridley! I’ll just stand over here, away from the sticky flying rabbity bits, if you don’t mind too much,” she said calmly.

“You can have the umbrella back, if you want,” he said, as it poofed into existence by Derpy once again. He hadn’t bothered to clean it up after its last gore-filled use.

“Why thank you, good sir, for your kind consideration.” She snapped it open. A bit of oozy, drippy Discord slimed down the front of it and then plopped on the ground. Angel stared at it apprehensively.

“My pancreas! I wondered where it had gotten off to! Derpy, mind fetching that while I finish here?”

“Why certainly, my good fellow! I’ll just toss it up on this rock here…Discord you don’t mind the dirt and grass on it, do you?” she asked as she wiped her disgusting hoof off on the ground.

“We can wash it up inside…there’s going to be a bit of a mess to clean up afterward anyway; what’s one more?” he said as he turned his attention back to Angel for the last time.

“Any last words, rabbit?” he said, sounding remarkably like a short, angry little man with a cowboy hat, six guns, and a fire red, long, droopy mustache. He reached for the mailbox door…

Angel broke down. Derpy didn’t understand rabbit, but the flood sounded very contrite and apologetic to her.

Discord listened intently. “And?” he asked when the flood cut off.

The burst of sound resumed, though the character changed slightly.

“Now, about Fluttershy…”

A pause. Discord started reaching for the door again.

There was a frightened squeak, and even more noise tumbled out.

“Exactly. You need to treat her very nice, she sticks up for you when everypony else would like to see you right here like you are now. Stop being a bully. Nopony likes a bully, and even though you think you’re tough and smooth, there’s always a bigger bully out there that might take exception; got it?”

A squeak of assent. He looked relieved.

“One more thing, Angel…” Discord smiled.

He yanked the door open.

There was a tremendous BANG that made Derpy jump. As she watched, fearing the worst, the cloud of smoke dissipated.

Neither Discord or Angel was hurt, though Angel had fainted dead away. The ground was littered with glitter and streamers that Discord had substituted for explosive force. The mailbox was slightly distended, like it had eaten too many letters that suddenly, explosively disagreed with it. Discord, never one to fail to tell the entire joke, was sooty and grimy from his waist to the tip of his horns. Only the clean space of his yellow eyes was untouched.

Derpy smiled grandly, then snickered at the ridiculous figure Discord cut. In moments, she was rolling around on the ground laughing; the sooty body, the poinging noise his eyes made whenever he blinked, and the unconscious, floopy rabbit in his ‘hands’. He set the bunny down gently, then snapped his fingers. The poof cleaned him up, head to toe, repaired the mailbox, and policed up all the litter and glitter sprayed around. It also removed the icky yellow umbrella and any gore on her or her uniform and equipment, leaving them pristine.

Discord was holding the wayward pancreas in his claw; he tossed it up, caught it in midair with his mouth, whereupon he swallowed it. He took a few seconds punching his body here and there to get it into the right place, and then proceeded to turn a remarkable shade of green as he spit gravel, dirt, and grass pieces out his mouth like an automatic weapon device. Derpy was near hysterical with laughter.

His proper color now restored, Discord gently picked up the bunny and held him calmly and quietly.

“Had to show him you’d do it, didn’t you?” she asked as she wiped the tears from her eyes, her body still twitching from the occasional spasm as she recalled things.

“But of course, dear friend! Otherwise, he’d be back to his old habits before Monday. Threats aren’t useful without proper action to back them, otherwise, it’s just noise. And you?”

She opened the box, took the single letter inside. As she closed it, she said, “I wonder what day of the week I can set aside to have lunch with a good friend.”

“ME? I’m touched, my dear Derpy! I have a pretty open schedule nowadays; is there one particular day you approve of?” Discord chuckled. Most everypony else would start backing up, ears flat against their head upon hearing that. She just smiled and rubbed his leg.

“I’m wrapped up with work during the week, and Saturdays are for Dinky. Wanna try Sundays for awhile? You don’t have to come for all of them if you’re tied up…”

Discord flashed for a second, bound head to foot. He tipped over and thumped against the ground. Derpy giggled as he smiled.

“This coming Sunday?” his poof flashed again, and he was lounging once more on the ground, his right foreleg propping his head up as he looked at her.

“Why ever not? You like anything to eat in particular? I make a pretty good muffin,” she said.

“Chocolate.” He sat up. “You handle the food, I’ll bring the drinks. That’s the correct form for this, right?” He was trying hard to get it straight.

“Yeah, that’s how it usually goes. Is one in the afternoon okay for you, Discord?” Derpy asked happily.

“Excellent! I have a lunch date!” He smiled brightly. Then he looked down.

Angel woke up, holding his head. He looked around, crooked in the elbow of Discord’s left arm.

He sighed heavily. “I suppose we’ll have to go back inside now. Almost finished with your work today?”

“Almost. I do like to get the return in order before dropping it off. I have time at the end of my shift coming up to do just that. Then I fly home in time to greet Dinky as she comes home on the school coach. Not too bad a thing.”

“Well, have a good time…friend. I’ll see you Sunday for lunch,” he said as he peered at the bunny in his arm.

As he walked back into the house, he chided the rabbit. “Now, that’s the way you make a friend, Angel. Shared common interests…” she heard, just as he closed the door behind them.

She stared at the door.

I have a new friend. I have a demigod of Chaos as a friend.

She shivered slightly as she stared. How do I explain this? Hey BonBon, Lyra, like you to meet my new friend. Discord, this is Lyra, and this is BonBon. Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s get Tavi and Vinyl, I’ll get Dinky, and we’ll all go bowling…

“What did I just do?” she asked herself aloud, perplexed.