Elements of Thievery

“This is Ringleader…I repeat…this is Ringleader. Is the Ball rolling?”

“Do we really have to use code names, Twilight? This is a closed frequency.”

“I’m not Twilight! I am Ringleader. And you, Rainbow Dash, are the Ball…so I repeat…is the Ball rolling?”

“Yes, the Ball is rolling.  Though, I’m going to stop rolling if Applej- erm…Crow Bar doesn’t get here in time to open the door.”

The Ball crawled through the vents of Canterlot castle. As was her usual job-infiltration.  She was the quietest and quickest of her small group, making it easier for her to get into buildings and get out without being seen. Unfortunately, her skills could only get her so far.  Despite the fact she was one of the strongest in the group, sometimes an Earth pony was needed to do the job.

An orange mare with a stetson walked through the back paths of the Canterlot castle. She wasn't being stealthy; she wasn't being quiet. She simply walked a normal pace as her hooves tapped against the ground. Following behind her was a yellow mare, who was gently floating through the air; a rope was in her arms. Unlike her partner, she was taking precaution to be silent and stealthy.

"Crow Bar, not to be a bother...but do you think you could walk a little...more lightly?" asked the yellow mare, "If you want to ,that is..."

"Look Flutters-...Claw, my job is to clear out this back passage of any guards so we can escape and make sure you get to the roof by any means necessary. No where did it say I had to 'walk lightly', sugarcube."

“Crow Bar! Crow Bar!” hissed a voice from a communicator on the orange pony's ear, “Where are you?! The Ball has stopped rolling. We only have a limited time-“

“I’m on the way...but" Crow Bar looked straight ahead of her and made eye contact with a Celestial guard, "  I just ran into some…problems. Royal Guard problems.”

“What are you doing down here?!” asked the guard.

“Well, hurry and deal with it. We don't have much time!”

On the other end of the small device, Ringleader could hear the sounds of hoofs coming in contact with flesh. After a couple of grunts, the clanging of armor, and the sound of a body hitting the ground, there was silence.  No sound came from the device the device. Worry began to set in, but quickly dispersed when a friendly  country voice came from the other end.

“Whew…that was a doozie. I’ll be to the renda...randevu...I'll be to the meetin' spot as soon as I can.” reported Crow Bar as she rushed to the rendezvous point, “You know, this wouldn’t have happened if Mask had been doing her part.”

“I, for one, love the new design of the Royal Guard’s armor.” A green, hat wearing, earth pony mare said as she caressed a guard’s face; she was idling outside of the main gate of the royal castle “They allow all the muscles and…other body parts to be shown.”

From her discrete headset, the earth pony could hear a soft voice. “Mask…what are you doing? We need you at the other guard stations. You know...the job. Applejack…erm…Crow Bar had to fight because of you.”

The green pony sighed. Of course her fun would be spoiled by Ringleader, but they had a job to do-one that required her to be elsewhere. Unfortunately, even with all her skill, the guards were stubborn and wouldn’t let her past the front gate. It seemed things would have to turn unladylike.  Something she hated doing.

The mare looked at her surroundings to see another guard at the end of the gate. She took a deep breath before acting. Smoothly, she caressed the guard’s face again.  In her hoof was a small needle which she placed gently against his neck. Immediately, the guard went limp.  Before the other guard could react, the mare took out another needle and threw it into his neck. He tried to fight it, but went down like his partner.

The pony sighed again.  If only they had let her through the gate, she wouldn’t have had to turn to such…barbaric acts. Though, she had used her knock-out darts instead of the poison ones, so it wasn’t too barbaric. After hiding the bodies, She grabbed the keys and unlocked the gate, yet before she did, she used a handkerchief to wipe off the green fur dye to reveal her naturally white fur.

“This is Mask. About to infiltrate the castle. I’m going in as a guard in their new armor,” whispered Mask as she removed the armor from one the downed guards,  “Oh, and can I change my code name? Mask sounds dreadful.”

“Just get in the castle and be ready to escort Pinkie Pie out.”

The Ball waited silently in the vents for a door to be opened.  It was locked from her side and the other side couldn't be reached by the vents, but the other side could be opened with a small amount of force.  Once opened, she could find the stairs, climb onto the roof above the throne room, and lower the Claw. First, she needed the door to be open.

She waited…and waited yet the door didn’t open. She began to pull out her communicator to check in, yet a pegasus guard, making his rounds, stopped in front of the door.  He seemed not to notice her presence, but just him being by there could spell disaster for the current mission.  She needed him to move, yet he seemed adamant about staying in his place.  The Ball had to take a chance; she had to make sure the mission went smoothly.

As silently as she could, she removed the vent cover and climbed out. She used her wings to glide to the ground. Once her hooves touched the marble floor, she crouched low to the ground and lightly stepped towards the guard. There, she decided to use a knockout technique Mask has showed her.  She lifted her hoof to the sides of the guards neck and pinched just above where his armor stopped.

The guard didn't expect the attack, yet conscious as he turned around. Both ponies made eye contact; neither, waiting for the other to strike. Ball decided it would be her to hit first, yet the guards body was completely covered.  While the Ball was uncertain of her attack, the guard threw the first punch, which Ball easily dodged. She took this opportunity to try to sweep the guard's hooves, but the guard flapped his, barely missing contact.

"Stop now, intruder or I will be forced to use more force." warned the guard.

The Ball remained silent as she flapped her wings for more force behind her kick.  Thick made contact with the guards armor sending her flying into the wall. Though, the guard had made sure to grab the cyan.  Both pegusi lay against the wall, recovering from the collision, yet the guard recovered first.

"Prepare to be arrested for intrusion on royal property and assaulting a guard."

Just then, the door opened;Crow Bar had arrived. She walked up to the guard, looked her straight in the eyes, and gave her a right hoof to the jaw. She stood ,shocked for a moment, before her eyes rolled to the back of his head. Though, right before she slipped into unconsciousness, she reached out for the orange Earth pony, but only succeeded in grabbing her communicator, which was smashed when her limp limb crashed into the floor.

"I could have done that..." said the Ball as she rose from her position, "What took you so long?"

“Don’t worry about it. I’m here now, Rainbow.” Crow Bar straightened her hat after looking at the broken radio, “The roof hatch is through the door and to the right. Claw should be waiting for you there.”

“Awesome. It looks like it's almost time for our major payday.”

The claw sat on the roof, shaking from nervousness. She had been lowered into many buildings before, but each time was different. She didn’t know why the team always insisted on lowering her.  She did weigh less than the rest of the group  and her hooves were the stickiest, quickest, and quietest in all of Equestria. She could still a stallion’s wallet and return it empty within the same movement. Though, she still didn't believe it gave the team the right to lower her into the crime.

“Claw…are you up here?” asked a blue pegusus as she climbed onto the roof.

“Yes...” whispered the claw, “I’m not so sure about this, Ball.”

“Can we stop with all that code name stuff, Fluttershy?” Ball said as she grabbed a rope the ground, “Tie this around your midsection. It’s almost time to lower you down into the throne room. Let’s just hope, Pinkie is doing her job.”

“Ringleader, why don’t I get a code name?” asked Pinkie.

“Because we both know that you would forget it.” Ringleader responded surprised to hear Pinkie over the device, the pink pony never received one.

“No I wouldn’t! I remember everything! I remember your name, my name,  Octavia’s name, Zecora’s name, where extraction point is, and what I ate this morning, which I must add was delicious. Who knew mixing butterscotch, eggs, and chocolate would be so good. Speaking of chocolate, did I tell you about this chocolate I had when-“

“Pinkie!!” hissed Ringleader, “Are you in position? We only have one shot to get those crowns.”

“Of course I’m in position!” Pinkie climbed out of a suit of armor located directly next to the Princesses  Her jester outfit was catching their full attention, “Hello, Princesses! Are you ready to have fun?”

A female, pegusus guard walked through Canterlot Castle, seemingly making her rounds.  Truth was: she was walking towards the Throne room. There she would wait to give her partner an extraction when she was finished with her part.Hopefully,  no one would question somepony getting escorted by a guard. Unfortunately, someone could question a lone guard.

“You! Guard! Stop right there!” ordered another guard. Based off his armor and badges, he was a higher rank, “What in the name of Discord’s playroom is wrong with your armor?!”

The female guard kept her head low and altered her voice, “Whatever do you mean, sir?”

“Did you get hit in the head or something? You’re wearing male armor! Can’t you tell?!”

She did know. It was her job to know, but she didn’t have the right equipment to disguise herself as a stallion.

“I’m new, sir! This was just the armor they gave me, sir!”

“Hmm…I wasn’t aware of any new guards, but let’s go get this armor situation fixed.” The higher ranked pony grabbed the female guard and dragged her to the supply room.

“B-b-but I’m needed at the throne room.”

“That can wait. Not like anything happens here anyway. I’ll just send another guard to check that area. First, you need the correct armor.”

With a nod from the Princesses of Equestria, Pinkie began to work. As she did her comedy routine, Princess Celestia would laugh uncontrollably, which was a good thing in more ways than one.  Yes, the Princess got a good laugh, but it also left her senses lowered to the surroundings. That’s what the team needed. Now, while she was distracted, was the perfect time to strike.

With the rope tied around Claw’s midsection, she was lowered into the throne room with a bag on her side. Slowly, she descended into the room. The closer she got to the princesses, the softer her breathing became until it seemed she wasn’t breathing at all.  Within moments of the start of anxiety filled decent, Claw was only a leg’s length away from the princesses’ heads; her targets was almost in reach. With a tug of the rope, she signaled her partner to stop lowering her. Now, she would have to time it right. The head of a pony was the most sensitive to movement and sound, especially the ears.  She needed the perfect moment act. With a nod to Pinkie, she waited.

Seeing the nod, Pinkie got ready for the finally. Somehow, a unicycle and four different colored balls appeared.  Once she got her balance on the unicycle, she began to juggle the balls with absolute precision. Then, she pedaled around the throne room, keeping things interesting by purposely losing her balance or almost dropping a ball. This got the Princesses full attention...more or less.

“Luna, this jester is absolutely entertaining!” Celestia clapped and laughed. She didn’t feel her crown get quickly pulled off her head only to be replaced by a fake one. “Cheer up, sister! Have some fun!”

“I would be having fun if this jester was actually entertaining,” Luna scoff, “The old jester was better.”

‘Everyone’s a critic,’ Pinkie thought to herself as she, still juggling, back-flipped off the unicycle.  Princess Luna would be a hard egg to crack, but it had to be done.  Or else, they would only have half the pay day they expected. Plus, Claw look annoyed just dangling in the air like a cute, yellow butterfly.

To get Luna to laugh, Pinkie figured she would have to pull out all the stops.  She dropped the balls to the ground, ran towards Princess Luna, and stopped only inches away from her face. Using her  skills, Pinkie distorted her face into several positions that would usually be impossible for other ponies. Each face was different and more absurd than the last.

At first, Luna’s expression stayed stoic, yet with continued facial expressions, she began to crack. Within seconds, she was crying from laughter; her gut about to explode. Using this opportunity, Claw swiped the crown and replaced it with a fake one. With another tug of the rope, she began to rise.

“Well, Princesses, I’m sorry, but my show is over.” Pinkie said as she walked to the door, “Until next time.”

If everything went as planned, Mask would be outside door, ready to escort her to the front door where they would escape.  She reached the throne room door which was being opened by somepony on the other side. Thinking it was her extraction Pinkie let out a sigh of release, yet when her leg became itchy, her eye started twitching, and small sneeze tickled her nose; she knew things were about to fall apart.

“Princesses, I was just checking in on you since there were disturbances reported…Princesses! Above your heads!”

Before her very eyes, the plan was falling through. Pinkie had incapacitated the guard and disappeared within the confusion, but not before The Princess had looked above their heads to see Claw being raised. Fortunately, Ringleader had put on an anti-magic spell on the crowns to prevent the Princesses from using any spells, lest they would be blasting Claw into pieces. Though, the spell wouldn’t last long against Alicorn magic.

“Uh…Rainbow…I don’t mean to be hasty…but uh…Could you pull me up quicker! I don’t want to be blasted!” Claw yelled in her whispery voice.

“I gotcha. I gotcha.” Ball calmly replied. She steadily pulled the rope. She wasn’t worried about anything.  She knew there was a small chance things going wrong.  Luckily, Twilight had a escape plan for just this occasion.

“Ball…come in Ball. It appears things have gone south. Fortunately, if you guys can get to the North Wing in time, you can still get out.”

“Alright , Egghead. Let me just…just…crap…”

The ball looked down to see the rope was snagged. No matter how hard she pulled, it wouldn't budge. The yellow pegusus looked up in confusion. She didn’t know what was happening except for the fact she was dangling in midair and that the Princesses were taking off the crowns. With them off, she was just a hanging target.

Ball pulled as hard as she could, but the snag wouldn't release. By now, she knew it was impossible to make it to the North Wing. The whole castle was probably crawling with guards. If she left now, she could probably escape. She quickly shook the Idea out of her head. What was she thinking? Leaving a friend behind. She couldn’t do that. Still, at this rate, they both would get caught. The punishment for stealing the crown was…no pony wanted it.

“Fluttershy! Flap you wings!” Ball yelled, “We don’t have much time.”

“The rope is tied around my wings…” stated Claw.

“Damn it…”

“Looks like you ponies are in a jam…” said a familiar country accent.

“Thank…Celestia you’re here, Applejack.”

“I wouldn’t thank her if I were you…she looks kind of mad.  Like a snake that can’t shed its last piece of skin.” Crow Bar found the nearest piece of wood and jammed into the door handles of the hatch.  She then walked over to  Ball, grabbed the rope, and began pulling. Even with her strength, the rope didn’t budge, yet the area where the rope was caught was giving way to their combined strength.  Claw had to watch in terror as Celestia and Luna were charging up their spell. No one knew what spell they were using, but the ponies on the roof didn’t want to find out.

With her and The Crow Bar’s strength combined, the snag broke and, Claw quickly rose until she reached the roof.  With the help of her two friends, she placed her hooves on a solid surface. Each pony sighed in relief, yet they knew they weren’t safe; they needed a way to get out the castle. Quick.

“Ringleader. Ringleader! This is the Ball! Is there any other extraction out of here?” called the blue pegusus through her radio.

The radio was silent before a voice rang through, “Yes…you all have to go though the-“

The Princesses below fired off their magic. The blast fired through the air destroying everything in its path.  Once it hit the thick ceiling, it dispersed, yet its force continued, causing the group on the roof to suddenly lose their balance and fall. The fall wasn’t hard, yet it was enough for Ball to lose grip on the radio. It slid across the roof until it eventually slipped off.

“Ugh!  Applejack, call Twilight.”

“My radio was busted, remember?” Crow Bar rushed to the edge of the roof and looked down. She let out a sigh before looking back at the other two ponies, “Look, we only have one option: We jump.”

“Are you forgetting we can fly?” Ball shook her wings to add emphasis, “Fluttershy and I could carry you.”

“Uh…guys…” Fluttershy looked to the hatch. The guards were forcing it open.

“If y’all fly, they’ll spot us a mile away.”

“Jumping is just as stupid. How do we know there aren’t guards down there? Flying is the best choice.”

“Guys…”

The wood in the hatch was being to splinter and break.

“We’ll get caught if we fly!”

“We’ll get caught if we jump!”

Both Crow Bar and Ball closed in on each other.  Their heads only inches apart. Stuck in a stalemate and with too much pride, the ponies wouldn’t choose.  Claw wasn’t paying attention to their squabble. She was only paying attention to the guards forcing open the hatch. With each push of the door, the wood cracked more. If they got through, they’d go to jail. She couldn’t go to jail…not again. She had to make a rash decision. She took off running at her two partners-in-crime and tackled them both off the side of the roof.