The pony Theorists

by Szalhi

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Crossover, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Other, Mystery
Length: 1241

Join Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash as they try to debunk theories around Equestria.

Join Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash as they try to debunk theories around Equestria.

Published 2015-05-29 06:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-05-29 06:10:02 UTC

Princess hair

Author's Note

So this is something I did ages ago, but I just found it and it wasn't submitted. It doesn't say that it's rejected, I don't know why this wasn't submitted.

Princess hair

Pinkie Pie jumped up from behind a bush. She was holding a microphone and was beginning to speak to something.

Pinke pie is not responsible for any questions still remaining at the end of the show.

“Welcome, to pony theory. I’m your host, Pinkie Pie. This is where we put all the questions ask, Spice them out, and ship out some answers.”

Pinkie Pie grabbed out a sheet of paper and stuck it on a wall behind her.

“These, are two of the princesses. These two rule over most of Equestria and raise the sun and the moon. The Elder would raise the sun every morning. She is known as Celestia. You can call her Princess if you want but they’re not here right now and this is clearly an informative video.”

She pointed over to the blue Alicorn.

“The elder would raise the moon every evening. She is known as Luna. You can call her Princess Ditto ditto ditto, blah blah blah. You get the point.”

“But hey pinkie! I have a question,” AppleBloom said coming into the scene. “I thought I knew everything to know from the princesses from school. But if there’s one thing I want to know, what’s the deal with the princess’ hair?”

“Now, that’s a good question,” Pinkie Pie said leaning closer to Applebloom. “Luckily for you, that’s what we’re going to find out today.”

Pinkie jumped onto the camera and pointed it in the direction of Canterlot.

“Now, as everypony practically knows, this is the castle they both live in. Here may lie some of the answers to this intriguing question.”

Pinkie took out a piece of paper and studied over it.

“Now then, everypony knows that questions are the best answers. With these questions I’ve gathered from ponies, we may be able to solve this question. Now one question here says: Is their hair, actually hair?”

An alarm suddenly went off in the background. Pinkie Pie reached out and stopepd the alarm.

“Ooh, that’s the investigation alarm. It goes off when we need some further information.”

Pinkie pie picked up the camera and set it down inside a train.

“Now, I know a pony that can help us answer this question. But don’t worry, I’ll be cutting this part out.

The train arrived at their destination, The crystal empire. Pinkie Grabbed the camera and hopped off the train and turned it on.

“Now, You may be wondering, Why the crystal empire Pinkie? well, the pony we actually need to find lives here.”

She set down the camera and pointed to a castle in the distance.

“We are going to be going there!” Pinkie suddenly gave a frown. “What do you mean this is taking so long? Well you can skip ahead any time you want. I’ll have you know, there will be no interruptions on this-“

A bird suddenly flew past the camera.

“OH LOOK! A BIRD!”

If you’re watching this live, please excuse us.

“Now than, No more delays. I know you want to know the answer to this intriguing theory. Well today, we’re going to be bringing in a special guest! Say hello, to Princess Cadance! She has regular hair”

Cadance walked in front of the camera and gave a wave.

“Thank you Pinkie. Now, what was your question again?”

“The viewers wanted to know, what’s the deal with the princess sisters’ hair?”

“Well I can tell you that, their hair feels nothing like hair, it feels like a weird aura. However you can’t just stick your hoof through it,” Cadance’s eyes bulged as she covered her eyes. “They won’t know about this right?”

“Of course not, we won’t let them see it.”

“But isn’t it illegal to hide something from the Princesses? I mean I’m just a high ranked as they are, but they’re still older.”

“Cadance, do you mind? I’m not trying to be mean, but as an element, I really think I’m just as high ranked as you. But that’ll be a question for next week.”

“Yeah Yeah, ok, I guess it’s not illegal.

“Ok that’s one answer, but I don’t think it’s enough. We’ll be back, right after the break.

“Do you like theories?”

“Do you like answers?”

“Well make sure to tune in to the Pony theorists, every Wednesday at 4pm.”

“They’ll be answering tons of your questions. Like, What’s up with the Princesses hair, or Are the Elements high ranked?”

“So don’t miss out, you wouldn’t want to make Pinkie Pie sad.”

“Welcome back to the pony theorists. We don’t know exactly what you watched, but it was certainly not self-promotion! Ha Ha. Am I right?”

The camera turned to reveal Princess Twilight’s castle.

“Now, we’re going to be visiting a dear friend of mine. She’s also a princess! What a coincidence.”

Pinkie picked up the camera and knocked on the door of the castle.

“Hello? Oh hi Pinkie. You said you wanted to ask some questions before?” Twilight said opening the door.

“Yes. We want to know, could Princess Celestia and Luna have hair under what appears to be hair?”

“Pinkie? What kind of question is that? I’m not answering that!”

“Oh c’mon Twilight! You can do this for a friend right? Besides, Celestia can’t get exactly mad at you. You’re both princesses.”

“I suppose. I do actually know the answer to this question, but I don’t think they’re going to be happy.”

“Great! Now you can just say it right into the microphone!” Pinkie said holding up the microphone.

“Um, okay,” Twilight stuttered. “As you know, what appears to be the Princesses hair is really an aura. I’m pretty sure you already knew this, but if you didn’t, well there you go.”

“I already told them.”

“Ok then. Well, from what I know, Hair requires space to grow. Without any space, no hair could possibly grow in a location. If you covered your body tightly so it couldn’t move and cut most of your hair off, then no hair would actually grow.”

“I actually want to try that!” Pinkie said excited.

“I don’t think you want to lose your hair. Now back on topic, the aura on top the princesses is actually quite dense that you can touch it. But at the same time, it does anything to stay on the princess’s head. With no space to grow no hair could be there. That accounts for fur too.”

“So you’re saying, that the princesses are actually bald?” Pinkie Pie asked with a smile.

“Well, not really. They kind of have hair.”

“Well I guess that’s it folks! They’re both bald!”

“What? No! I said they kind of have hair!”

“So I guess that’s a theory! A pony Theory! Make sure to tune in next week when Rainbow Dash finds out if the elements are just as high ranked as the Princesses!”

“No! They can’t see this video!” Twilight yelled reaching for the camera as Pinkie Grabbed it and the tape.
Spike entered the room and groaned. "It's not a theory, it's fact.”

The Pony theorists are not responsible for any missing details if you happen to be using the text version and not the video version.