The Princess and I

by Bigwig6666

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Romance, Comedy
Length: 18723

A human finds his way to Equestria, where he doth bed thy princess.

First long slightly clop fic. Be honest. If people like it I may do more.

I fell out of the sky I don't know how long ago. A couple of years I think. Why me, still confounds me, but all I care about is I'm with the girl I love most. Oh yeah and she's a Princess obsessed with achievements and video games.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-07-08 16:53:32 UTC

The Princess and I - Part 1

Disclaimer: All My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters owned by Hasbro.

Inspired by Two Best Sisters Play -Here it is - I think the idea of Luna as a gamer and achievement whore is adorable and wanted to expand on it, adding my own flavours.

If people like this I may do more.

The Princess and I - Part 1

"Hit 'B', hit 'B'." I repeated for the millionth time.

"Shut up. it's hard you know." Luna said, smiling a bit sheepishly "It's easier for you, you have fingers."

"It's not hard. You just suck at this game. And you have magic." I dead-panned as I slurped the last of the milkshake through a straw and burped loudly and brushed some escaped food off my dressing down.

"Where do I go now?" she asked, ignoring my last comment.

"There. No not there, there." I said exasperated at the princess's ineptitude at video games and sighed.

"...Hello? Are you alive?" the character in the game shouted.

"Yeah..." Luna shouted back.

"You know he can't hear you right?" I asked, wearily and reaching down for some popcorn.

"Oh, can't he?" Luna asked, looking downhearted.

"Oh. My. God. You're getting upset at the dude not being able to hear you aren't you?" I looked at her as she blushed and hid her face in her long starry mane.

"No...?"

"My god you are as well."

"Shut up." she laughed and kicked me off the chair and dove into the warm spot I had created for myself.

"Oi! That's my chair, yours is over there!" I mumbled through a mouth full of food, clambering over the popcorn as I tried not to stick my foot in anything. Celestia would kill us if we spilt anything on the carpet. "Move." I grinned.

She stuck her tongue out cheekily and giggled "Make me."

"Have it your way then m'lady."

***

Perhaps I should start over. My name's Jack. Not exactly boyfriend of the dark princess of the night material, I know, but its my name and I ain't changing it for some uptight pony's views about royalty and royal names.

Since I ended up here in Equestria, I've met the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. This is the story of how we met, and how I came to be here.

***

My story begins in the spring of 2012: I was just minding my business, walking back from ASDA with an eight-pack of fruit shoot, listening to some old songs from Battlefield Vietnam, as I trekked the well beaten path home. Psyched about going to see The Avengers later on, when I spotted a certain telltale cloud of purple.

Well I'll be damned. I thought to myself This fruit shoot's finally making me hallucinate. Ah hell. I ignored it and just carried on walking. I got about a mile ahead of where I first saw it, then I spotted it again, this time my slight paranoia taking hold for a while.

"Seriously? I'm being followed by a purple cloud? Go to hell paranoia." I grumbled to myself and tried to pay no more attention to it, honest. But then I got to the crossroads which marks the entrance to the estate where I live and it was still following me.

I decided to sit and watch it and see if anyone else saw it. Of course they didn't. Now convinced the bottle of fruit shoot I had been tending was off or something, I walked to the green and sat down, still watching the cloud. Suddenly I felt quite a chill run down my spine. F this, I decided and hurried home.

As soon as I got home I did the usual thing: fruit shoot in fridge, play with dog and/or kittens whoever was in the kitchen, went upstairs and switched computer on, ready to conquer the known world in Civ 5 and opened up the RoosterTeeth website and listened to a podcast for an hour or two..

After about an hour of game-play and general nothingness I decided I'd play a tune on my guitar, I considered myself pretty good but nowhere near the level of pro I hoped to be one day, so I thought I'd get some practice in before I went to see the movie, but before I could get into the groove of it the dog started barking.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." I grumbled as I practically fell down the stairs from the damn cat weaving his way around my legs. "Whatchu shoutin' about shilly pooch?" I said as I stuck my head out the kitchen door and saw the dog jumping up at the purple cloud, this time it was only about a foot or so away from my head. So close I could touch it.

"Ooh." I gasped as I saw it and reached a hand out and prodded it. Then there was a flash of light and next thing I knew, I was upside down, hurtling towards the ground at god knows what speed.

"Agggh whadafu-" I grunted in surprise as I tumbled through the air, then I looked down. "Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap!" I started shouting and flailing my arms around as the ground rushed up to meet me. Then I hit the trees and everything went black.

***

In Equestria there was a certain purple pony explaining something to her friends about her new spell around the game of spin the bottle in the early hours of the next morning at a slumber party.

"You see it could possibly bring something from another world into or world." she said enthusiastically to her five bored looking friends and made her horn light up in demonstration "And just like that, something would appear. she beamed.

"Wow Twilight, I said truth as in some special secret about a stallion or mare or something. Not as in explain something truthful." Rainbow Dash snorted.

Twilight Sparkle's face fell when she realized she misinterpreted the game again. "Oops." she mumbled turning as red as the apples of Sweet Apple Acres.

"Now listen here sugarcube, it's not that we don't like hearin' about your new spells or anythin'." Applejack shot a murderous look at the cyan pegasus opposite her. "It's just that sometimes we don't quite understand 's all." she smiled and put a leg around Twilight's back.

"W-well... um... I don't really mind." Fluttershy squeaked "I th-think its... um really... um.. f-fascinating." The timid, shy yellow and pink pegasus said quietly.

"Ah'm not sayin' it isn't though Twi." Applejack back-peddled. "Well... Ah-" she sputtered.

"What I think Applejack is trying to say is that while we do enjoy your... um... 'demonstrations' dear. Is that we could just do with Twilight letting her mane down once in a while, you know, less studying, more having a bash Twilight." the white, marshmallowy unicorn, Rarity interrupted the orange earth pony before she could embarrass herself or a rather red looking Twilight any more.

"Maybe I do need to let my mane down a bit." Twilight Sparkle giggled after a short while as she and her friends fell about the room laughing.

"Wanna go another round of spin the bottle anypony?" asked Rainbow dash after the laughter died down a bit.

"Sure Ah'm game." grinned Applejack "But, Pinkie Pie what're you starin' at? she asked when she noticed their pink friend staring out the window at something.

"Hmm?" she asked, twisting her neck a full 180 degrees round to see them all. "I was watching that silly looking purple cloud over the Everfree Forest. It looks like one of those chocolate rain filled clouds Discord had." she beamed, her neck twisting back the way it should be and continued to watch the cloud.

"What cloud?" Twilight asked, going over to the window Pinkie was looking out of. "Rainbow Dash are there meant to be any clouds in Ponyville tonight?"

"Not that I know of, although Derpy may have accidentally let a stray one loose. It shouldn't be purple though." Rainbow frowned. "Let me see."

"That cloud there." Pinkie pointed with a pink hoof at the purple cloud.

"What in tarnation is it?" asked Applejack, the rest of the gang gathered around the window now, watching the cloud of purpleyness.

"I do hope it's nothing scary." squeaked Fluttershy, hiding behind Applejack.

"It certainly doesn't look scary..." muttered Rarity "Perhaps we should go see it?" she ventured.

"Yeah. Spike get ready to send a letter to princess Celestia or Luna in case we need it." Twilight barked at the small purple and green dragon who was rubbing sleep from his eyes with his one free claw, the other claw clutching a cupcake he'd thieved when they weren't looking.

"Uhh I wasn't-" he started as he fumbled to hide the cupcake. "I mean I did sneak a taste but-"

"No time Spike. C'mon girls let's investigate."

Ooh, ooh should I get my detective hat again Twilight?" Pinkie Pie gazed at her with imploring eyes.

"Ah don't think that'll be necessary sugarcube." chuckled Applejack.

"Um... how about we um, you know, don't?" Fluttershy whispered and started shaking and gave a small "Eep." in protest as Rainbow dragged her out the door.

"Hey, look at the cloud now!" Twilight cried as the cloud started spinning rapidly and shot something out down to the forest below.

"C'mon!" they all shouted, except Fluttershy who just whimpered as Rainbow pulled her along and headed off towards where the thing it had spouted fell: a large gangly thing with four legs, waving its front legs wildly about it's head.

***

I don't know how long I was knocked out for, but I guessed it was a while since it was dark now.

"Ugh." I groaned and clutched my side. "I think I broke a rib... ugh or all of them." I muttered. "Now, where am I?" I wondered out loud at the strange forest around me, still clutching my side.

Suddenly I heard a low growl behind me and I slowly turned to face whatever had made the noise. "Ohhh dear." when I saw what it was: a large, salivating beastie with lots of sharp teeth and claws, plus a large stinger on it's tail in the back. "Manticore?" I asked, bewildered at my luck to end up in a world of magical creatures as it swung its stinger at me and I just managed to dive out the way.

it reared it's head and roared loudly in fury as it swung its tail again, this time swiping with it's claws too. "Ahhh." I cried as its pinky toe's claw got my arm, not too deep but still hurt. "Oh now you're fucking dead." I growled, my temper getting hold of me and threw a rock at it's face, hitting its forehead.

The manticore stopped for a second and looked at me, my rock giving it pause to think What is this strange creature that throws things that hurt? and whimpered in submission after the second rock I threw hit its nose.

"That's better." I growled and sucked on the wound "Now go home." I commanded and it left with it's tail between it's legs. I heard a gasp behind me and turned to face the new creatures, still sucking the blood from my arm and clutching my ribs. There I saw six multicoloured ponies who looked very familiar.

"Huh." I managed to mumble before I collapsed.

***

The girls heard a loud roar as they entered the forest, making Fluttershy freeze on the spot and her friends had to forcefully push her forwards.

"Come on Fluttershy, we might need you to calm whatever it is that's making that noise." Twilight smiled and reassured her timid friend.

"I c-c-c-can't..." she stammered, paralysed with fear. "s-s-s-sorry tw-tw-Twilight." she sputtered through tears.

"Alright, fine. Rarity you stay here with her, make sure she's OK." she said after seeing the pegasus wasn't budging.

"Alright Twilight I will." the unicorn said, somewhat relieved she didn't have to mess her mane trudging through the dense forest, she had just been at a slumber party so it wasn't her best but still she saw no point in making things worse. Oh and she had to look after Fluttershy too.

"Rainbow, AJ, Pinkie, you're with me, c'mon!" she trotted off into the forest, towards the noise, which had subsided now.

"You got it boss." Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash saluted and followed her.

"What do y'all think that noise was?" Applejack whispered.

"Sounded like another manticore to me. Maybe it found that thing that fell out the cloud." Rainbow muttered, tripping over a gnarly root and splaying on the ground and turned bright red. Applejack stifled a laugh at her friend and rival as she picked herself up.

"Shut up." she grunted at the earth pony, scowling.

"Sorry RD, it's just mighty funny seein' you taken down a peg or two." Applejack chuckled and Pinkie Pie fell over from laughing too hard.

"Quiet you three. It's just up ahead I think." Twilight whisper-hissed at her bickering and giggling friends. Pinkie tried to sober up from laughing but she was having difficulty.

Then a large manticore came running through the trees at them, just managing to avoid them and trample them from existence.

"Ahh!" Twilight cried as the manticore's leathery wing knocked her over and sent her sprawling into the clearing in front of her.

"Twilight you OK?" Pinkie asked form the tree-line.

"Yeah, just didn't expect that at all." Twilight groaned and got to her hooves and looked in front of her and gave a small gasp. For there in front of her was a tall, pink skinned thing, that appeared to be sucking blood from it's own arm and clutching its side.

"Huh." it mumbled before it collapsed to the ground.

***

"Rarity, Fluttershy! Give us a hoof would you?" Rainbow called out to her two friend on the edge of the forest as they carried the alien out and into the moonlight.

"Eep." Fluttershy squealed as she saw the thing. "W-w-w-what is that?" she asked, poking her head out from behind Rarity, who also looked scared of the new thing.

"I don't know, but it made a manticore run off, tail between it's legs so I think it could be useful." Twilight huffed as she shifted it's weight on the backs of her, Pinkie Pie and Applejack.

"It d-d-did?" Fluttershy squeaked, her eyes nearly popping out of head in excitement of a new creature but also fear from it.

"Yeah, it must have used this." Rainbow Dash held up a small black thing with one reflective side in her mouth. "Any clue what it is anypony?"

Before she could get an answer the alien groaned and stretched, it's claw thing at the end of it's front leg went through Pinkie large fluffy pink mane and she giggled, making Fluttershy jump back a few steps. "Eep." she squealed again.

"Hnng." it mumbled "Nnng?" it made as its claw explored the inside of Pinkie's mane and tickled her head, it's face forming a frown of confusion with it's eyes shut.

"Tee hee that tickles." she giggled, and brushed the claw away.

It opened one eye and looked at the ponies on its left. Then it's other eye opened and observed the ponies on it's right.

"...Pink?..." it mumbled in a deep voice that sounded more like a croak and sent shivers run along their backs, before passing out again.

"Well it can speak. That's good right?" Rarity asked, looking at her friends.

"Oh boy we need to throw a party for it, is it a he or a she? Oh I don't know, ooh i hope it wakes up again so I can ask how it likes it's cake cut and baked-"

"First let's get it so the hospital, then we'll figure out what to do with it." Twilight interrupted he party obsessed pony before she could go any further. "Sorry Pinkie but this could be the discovery of a lifetime. That proves we aren't alone in the universe!" she started getting excited "Think of the scientific benefits..." she said more to herself than her friends.

"Um... I think it won't make it to the hospital." Fluttershy whispered "That cut on it's arm looks painful and its ribs seem to be broken." her courage raising when there was something hurt that she could help, whatever it was. "Maybe we could... um take him to my house?" she said, her courage fading as quickly as it had come.

"Sure Ah see no wrong in that right Twi?" Applejack said "Besides Ah don't think we'll make it to the hospital carryin' this here thing on our backs." she grunted and shifted it's weight again.

"Oh yeah, right. OK then we'll take it -him- to Fluttershy's." Twilight smiled, slightly dissapointed at the delay of figuring out what it is but didn't show it.

"I'll go tell Spike to send a letter to either one of the princesses and explain what happened. Rainbow, stop playing with it -his- little black box thing." she looked at Rainbow who was trying to gnaw away one edge of it.

"I wasn't doing anything." the blue pegasus lied hurriedly "But sure Twi, I'll take over for a bit." and with that she scooped up the creatures back legs and Twilight ran off to find Spike.

***

Before I collapsed I swear I saw four technicolour ponies from My Little Pony: Friendship is magic, but you probably wouldn't believe me. It's just a cartoon right? Well anyways, after passing out I felt something scoop me up and balance me on top of it's body or bodies. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a dark figure witch what I assumed were wings go over to where I had dropped my phone and pick it up in it's mouth.

"Why don't y'all just use yer magic?" I heard a familiar voice say and I racked my brains to remember who's voice that was.

"Because there's no way of knowing how it will react to magic." came another oh, so familiar voice that I couldn't quite place yet.

After a few minutes of being carried sub-consciously I fell asleep from sheer pain and dreamt about home and what everyone was doing. Ah crap i left the oven on, hope someone came in and turned it off. No sooner had i started to fall into deep sleep I heard voices brining me back: a small, timid "Eep." I heard first, then a giggling sound as I reached a hand out and explored the unknown, coming into contact with something not quite hair, similar, very similar in fact, but thicker and fluffier and then I felt it's scalp through it's almost-hair. I frowned as my hand explored this unfamiliar substance, still keeping my eyes firmly shut.

"Tee hee that tickles." I heard yet another familiar voice say and brushed my hand away. God where were these voices from? It was killing me not knowing where they were from.

Slowly I opened my left eye and observed the three ponies on my left, then my right eye opened slowly and looked at the three on my right and saw my hand sticking in the mane of one

"...Pink..." I managed to say before I slipped out of conciousness again, the pain in my side returning with a vengeance.

***

A day later i woke up in an unfamiliar bed. At least I don't recognize this one I thought to myself. Now where the heck am I? I looked around the room I was in, it was very green in here. The ceiling looked very low from where I was, being the tallest of my friend and standing at 6'3 at least.

"Oh y-y-you're aw-w-wake." I heard a timid, quiet voice from the foot of the bed and looked down and my eyes went wide. There at the foot of the bed was a pink-maned, yellow coated pegasus.

"F... Fluttershy?" I croaked. God my voice sounded awful, I need a drink I thought.

The pegasus shrank away from the bed and whispered "How d-do you kn-kn-know my n-name?"

"Because I-" interrupted by a coughing fit "-I know everything." I croaked again "Could I have some *cough* water please?"

"Of... Of c-course. Wait right here." the pegasus so elegantly glided over the floor towards the door.

I looked around the room I was in again. Nice house, very green looking.

Well. I'm in Equestria am I? i thought to myself ... Epiiic I fist pumped the air weakly. I was an avid fan of My Little Pony and couldn't believe my good fortune to be here. I beamed to myself.

As I sat up I felt a sharp pain in my side and looked down. Oh that didn't look good: a series of bandages were wrapped around my ribcage and a big red splodge was showing where it hurt most. my arm didn't look so bad, just a bandage wrapped around the cut. At least that one didn't have a big red mark.

I heard the door creak open and four ponies came trotting in: Fluttershy, carrying a tray with a glass of water on it, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, my phone still in her mouth and Applejack, her hat in her hoof.

"...Hi." I said and smiled after a few moments of them awkwardly looking at me.

"Well howdy partner." perked up Applejack "Ah'm Applejack." as she stuck her hoof out in a friendly gesture, I extended my long arm and shook it, my fingers wrapping around the end of her hoof. "An' this is-"

"Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash I know." I said as I looked at them, their jaws dropping, Fluttershy nearly dropped the tray right there, poor thing and Rainbow struggled to keep the phone in her mouth.

"Here I got that." I said and reached out for the tray and took it from her gently and wincing at the sudden pain.

"How do you know our names?" demanded Rainbow.

"Because like I told Fluttershy. I know everything." I looked at her "And that's my phone." I reached over and took it from her mouth and wiped off some drool with my t-shirt.

"So that's what it is." Twilight said quietly "So how much do you know if you know everything?"

I sipped the water and turned to the lavender unicorn. "Well when I say everything I mean about you ponies."

"Alright then. Explain."

"Well... you, Twilight Sparkle, are the student and protégé of Princess Celestia and wilder of the most powerful Element: Magic. Your brother Shining Armour's also just married-"

"Wait a minute, my brothers not getting married!" Twilight interrupted.

"...That hasn't happened yet I take it?" I asked "Huh. Well it will, soon I think. I already know the outcome so I can't interfere with big events. That's how time travel works." I replied "I seem to have been brought here into your past." I explained when I saw the looks on their faces.

"So what brought you here anyway?" I could see Twilight was saving that question.

"Well I was minding my business, walking along, when I saw this purple cloud thing following me. I ignored it at first and went home as fast as possible. A few hours after I got home I went downstairs and saw it in the garden. I touched it and now I'm here."

"Purple cloud thingy? Like the one we saw over the Everfree?" Pinkie asked.

"Probably, the last thing I saw before blacking out was trees and sky. I'm taking it that was your doing Twi." I looked at the scarlet faced Twilight and smiled. "It's OK really, Earth sucks anyways."

She smiled and gestured for me to carry on with my knowledge of this place.

"Alright. You, Applejack." I turned to the earth pony "You are the element of honesty and work and live on Sweet Apple Acres with Granny Smith, Applebloom and Big Macintosh, the most dependable of ponies in Ponyville. You Rainbow Dash love flying and are in charge of weather around Ponyville. You are the Element of Loyalty and went to flight school with Fluttershy and Gilda." I growled at Gilda's name. "And you Fluttershy are the timid Element of Kindness with no heart too big and always willing to look after another animal, as long as it's not a big nasty dragon." This made her beam with pride as well as the other ponies jaws drop again in amazement. "I'm probably forgetting stuff at the minute though."

"B-b-but how?" Rainbow sputtered.

I tapped the side of my nose with a finger. "Magic. *Snort Snort*" I sipped the glass of water again and tried to find a signal on my phone and let the ponies sit in silence and take in what they just experienced.

"Of course there's no signal why would there be." I grumbled. When i saw Rainbow watching me work the phone I said "Would you like me to show you how it works?"

"What? No!" she cried defensively and rose into the air, after a shot from Applejack she subsided and went back down to earth "Well maybe a bit." she admitted with a guilty pleasure look in her eyes.

"Alright what you do is..." I explained how the phone worked. It's an iPhone in case anyone was wondering.

***

After I had talked about Earth and my life there for a while, during which Rarity and Pinkie Pie showed up and I told them what I knew about them too, Twilight's assistant Spike came running in huffing and puffing about a letter saying Princess Luna was coming to see the alien, seen as how her sister was asleep and she ruled the night.

"Well we'd better make sure your'e OK to talk to the princess partner." Applejack said.

"Sure. Why not." I grumbled, I was so tired but I'd try and make an effort.

"By the way what's your name?" Rarity asked. That's right I had forgot to introduce myself.

I cleared my throat. "Jack." I said simply.

"Just Jack?" Fluttershy asked, now fascinated with me.

"Eeyup." I confirmed and smiled at her, making her turn slightly pink in the face.

"Well now that I know your name we have to have a party!" exclaimed Pinkie Pie. I hung my head in shame, in my opinion Pinkie Pie was the most irritating one, now I regretted that after talking to her for a while.

"Sure I suppose." I said nervously and Twilight leaned in to whisper:

"Don't worry, I'll tell her to not be too rough with your ribs." she smiled.

"''Ppreciate it." I smiled back.

There came a knock at the door downstairs. "Oh- coming." Fluttershy called down.

"Woo, we can have lots of cake and muffins and more cake and party hats and balloons and I'll have to reload my party cannon!" Pinkie cried, bouncing around the bed in joy.

"Now, Jack, darling, what are we going to do with your mane?" Rarity asked as she bit her lip I could tell she was dying to do something with it.

"What about my hair?" I glared at her as she bit her lip even more, then laughed "Honestly I don't really care what you do just don't make it... frilly."

"Wa-ha-ha-ha." she laughed in excitement "Just as soon as you're up and about we'll have you down to the boutique and style that messy hair of yours. At least someponies are considerate of others." she glared at Rainbow Dash who was playing Doodlejump on my phone.

"Huh? What?" she looked up for a second before going back to the game and the other ponies, including me, laughed.

Suddenly a loud scream could be heard from downstairs. "Fluttershy." I growled and leapt out the bed, keeping as low as possible, to avoid banging my head again, and rushed downstairs. There I saw Fluttershy grovelling on the ground in front of a dark tall figure, the ponies behind me also started grovelling.

"Sorry, guys, the Princess startled me that's all." Fluttershy squeaked sheepishly. "And Jack! Your'e out of bed." she said and smiled at me.

"So I am." I grunted, the pain suddenly returning and doubling over.

"Ah. This is the alien of which your letter spoke about Twilight Sparkle?" the figure boomed. "I mean, is this the alien your letter spoke about?" she said again, only quieter this time and blushed.

"Why hello there Princess Luna, what a pleasant surprise. This is Jack, he's a visitor from the planet called Earth. He-"

The Princess held up a hoof. "Greetings visitor from Earth. I am Princess Luna, ruler of the night. State your business here immediately." she commanded me.

I was dumbstruck. I knew what she looked like from the show but I'd never thought I'd seen something to beautiful in reality. Did I have feelings for another species? Meh if Shepard could, And I suppose if the My Little Pony world exists I'm assuming that the Mass Effect world exists. Feck that means Reapers exist too... I trailed off in thought.

"Um... Jack?" Twilight prodded my leg.

"Hmm? What? Oh yeah." I cleared my throat, coming back to reality and bumped my head on the low ceiling again "My name is Jack and I'm here for... a holiday..." I bowed to the Princess, rubbing my poor head from the bump. Why was I here again? Oh yeah that purple cloud. Probably Twilight's doing. I'd have to ask her about that.

"A... holiday? What is a holiday?" the Princess asked as she motioned for everypony to stop grovelling and stand up, looking thoroughly confused at what I had said.

"You've never had a holiday?" I asked, as befuddled as she was.

"No. What is it?"

"Never? Never-ever?"

"No." she repeated "What is it?" her patience was wearing thin I could see.

"Well what isn't it? It's where one such as yourself would take time off from work and just go relax, sort of like going to the moon, but minus the banishment and not for a thousand years." I said.

All the ponies gasped. They had never mentioned Luna's banishment to her face let alone suggested she do it again. The six huddled behind me and wondered what she was going to do. I realized what I had said and attempted to backtrack "Well when I say that I meant-"

She held a hoof and silenced me instantly.

"I shall have to consult my sister about this... holiday idea. You, Jack The Alien, however, are to accompany me back to Canterlot castle immediately. You are to be placed under my authority until Celestia wakes up and then we shall see." and with that she turned and made for the night carriage parked at the foot of the hill Fluttershy's cottage was placed upon.

"B-but what about your bandages?" Fluttershy squeaked.

"Fear not Fluttershy the Kind. The Canterlot doctors will address all wounds." Luna said, without turning round and quite loudly, making the poor pegasus stumble.

"Well, then I should change them quickly. It looks nasty." she said pointing to my wound.

"Um... alrighty then. Uhh... sorry Rares, guess you won't get to play with my hair today after all." I said apologetically and watched, saddened as the fashionista's face fell "And Pinkie, hold that party will ya?" as I turned to Pinkie and watched as the pink mane deflate slightly while Fluttershy changed the bandages quickly.

"Okey-dokey-loki." she perked up, the hair returning to it's usual bouncy, fluffy self.

"RD. Can has phone back?" I asked and held my hand out for it.

"Sure. Stupid game said I got less than five hundred anyway." and hoofed it over. I laughed and ruffled her mane.

"See you guys around. I got a date with a Princess." I grinned and strode over to the carriage, pulled by two Night Guard and hopped in, next to Luna and waved goodbye to the six I left down below.

"You make friends quickly." the Princess's voice made me jump a bit, it was so unexpected and close, so close I could feel her breath on my neck as she spoke.

"Yeah, it's fairly easy if you know what to talk about."

"They weren't scared of you at first?" she asked

"Oh of course they were, but I was unconscious for our first meeting." I grinned "I passed out from this:" and pointed to my bandages, the red splodge no longer there due to a new dressing by nurse Fluttershy.

"Hmm." the Princess said, deep in thought.

After a while of flying I asked "So where are we going  exactly?"

"Back to Canterlot Castle, you are in my care until my sister wakes up which she will then question you about your purpose and how you arrived here." she said sullenly.

"Well, you mind if I play some music? It helps make long journeys like this go faster." I asked tentatively.

"Not at all. Do you have any Tchaihoovesky? Or Beethoofen?" she asked, her ears pricking up. So she likes music? Interesting.

"No I don't have any of them." They sounded awfully like composers on Earth: Tchaikosvsky and Beethoven. Maybe our worlds aren't so different after all.

"Oh." Luna looked disheartened "What do you listen to on Earth?"

"Well, anything really, except hip hop or RnB. Hate them." I growled. I mostly listen to Rock and Roll and Heavy Metal. And when I say Heavy Metal i mean good metal, not screamo or thrash. Some thrash is good but now I'm rambling because I'm nervous and you are staring at me." I fell silent.

"Do you have a problem with me staring at you?" she asked

"Not at all." I sputtered, blusing and feeling hot headed. "How about we listen to some Ink Spots?" I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire. As the music played, I sat and watched her as she melted to the music.

*** Music ends

"That was wonderful." the Princess breathed. "There is still quite a ways to go, do you have another?" she asked, her big beautiful eyes staring into my very soul.

I could hear my heartbeat again. This only happened around girls I liked and this was no exception. As I stared into her eyes I felt I wanted to do nothing else but take her and kiss her, and it killed me that if I did I may go to jail. Or the Moon, take your pick.

"Of course m'lady." I finally said and I started playing some Elvis Presley for her and laughed as she tried to dance in her seat to it.

"You see this is rock and roll." I grinned "By the King himself." I said as I snapped my fingers in time to the music.

"A king of music?" she asked bewildered "Is there such a thing on Earth?"

"Well he wasn't an actual king, he's just called The King of Rock and Roll cos he perfected it. Sure other people came before him but he made it his own and birthed rock basically. I think."

"You aliens have strange ways." she chuckled as she went back to dancing to the music.

"Humans. We're called humans, or humies. Or earthlings. Or fleshy pink things, take your pick." I laughed.

*** Music ends

After she kept asking to hear more songs, and I happily obliged her, we arrived at the castle in no time at all. I noticed how she looked sad when the sun began to come up, and I swear saw a single tear and just wanted to hug her and whisper: 'It'll be alright.'.

We touched down on the landing platform and Luna began to descend off the carriage.

"Dawn is approaching, I must retire for the day. It has been wonderful listening to your 'Earth sounds' Jack The Alien." she smiled, sending a shiver down my back. "The guards will show you to your quarters where you can spend the night. Try and get some sleep."

"I'll try m'lady." I bowed as she left. Of course I didn't. The guards showed me to the guest chambers, with a ceiling that wasn't ridiculously low by the way, and it was nice enough but I couldn't sleep knowing that she was out there as well. But what would she want with a big old smelly human like me anyway? She deserved royalty, for she was royalty. Not some common farmers 'special buddy' -no offence to Applejack. Plus from what I gather she's immortal, same as Celestia. I'd just die out after about seventy years and break her heart.

"Sucks being mortal." I grumbled and splayed out on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

***

Luna thought about the alien as she got ready for the day sleep she went through everytime her sister took over. What was this feeling she felt in her stomach? She had enjoyed their talk and the music he played, even with the dirty looks one of the Night Guard -Sepulchre- had shot him. Once she and Sep had been an item, but she didn't really have feelings for him and ended their relationship sooner before something should happen. Since then Sep hadn't been able to look her in the eye whenever she visited the Night Guard barracks and his composition had become stonier than a regular Night Guards.

She thought about how Sep had felt for her and wondred if that was what she felt like for the alien. We are a Princess, we do not mate with commoners, or aliens she heard the Nightmare Moon part of her say in her head. Go away, I do not want to listen to your poisonous words today she thought back furiously as she climbed the stairs to her chambers.

When she reached her chambers, she suddenly felt like she wanted to be downstairs again. In the guest room.

"What is this thing I feel?" she mumbled to her pet bat, Darkwing and walked to the window and looked down. She could see the dawn slowly approaching and the guest rooms lit window. "I could fly down there..." she mumbled again, then shook her head. "No. We are a Princess, we have royal duties to perform." Like sleeping during the eventful days Nightmare Moon whispered.

Luna levitated her crown off and dropped it on the floor, then slowly crawled into bed and thought. What was it he called it? Rock and Roll? It was nice. Better, if not just as good, than Beethoofen any time and slowly she drifted off to sleep, the beat of 'The King' filling her head.

***

No sooner had I actually managed to drift off to sleep there came a knock at the door. I rolled out the bed, still in my clothes, from the day before.

"I'm coming, I'm coming." I grumbled and opened the door and there stood Princess Celestia, to which I bowed instantly, almost falling over I bowed so low. "P-p-p-princess Celestia w-what a s-s-surprise." I stuttered, I've never spoken to royalty before so I panicked and just grovelled.

"It is not you who should bow my friend." Celestia smiled as I glanced up nervously into her warm kind face. "it is I who should bow to you."

"Huh?" I said as she bowed, the ponies behind her jaws dropped, as did mine. "Huh?!"

"I have been told that you are a visitor from another world by my faithful student Twilight Sparkle, say hello Twilight, I believe you two have met." and she stepped aside to reveal the six ponies from before.

"Oh. Hey pony people." I smiled at them recovering from my slight breakdown.

"We decided seen as how you couldn't have a party in Ponyville, we'd bring you one here. SURPRISE!" Pinkie blurted out, carrying what seemed to be party supplies, giving me a small heart attack.

"Heh, thanks Pinkie. So I suppose you want to know how I came here?" I asked Celestia.

"In due time of course. But right now, I believe a welcome party is acceptable." she smiled at Pinkie, who looked like she was about to burst.

"Oh boy here we go." muttered Rainbow Dash and facehoofed. The other ponies took a few steps back as Pinkie exploded with excitement.

"Oh boy this is gonna be great, we're gonna have so much fun!" she beamed.

"Sure we are Pinks." I said still thinking about Luna.

"Perhaps I shall see if Luna would like to join us." Celestia gave a small smile as she said so, almost as if she was reading my thoughts.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea Princess." Twilight said enthusiastically "Doesn't it Jack?"

"Uhh..." I went blank. "Y-yeah. Great." I tried to say with enthusiasm but all that came out was a small squeak.

Celestia laughed "I'm sure she'll be pleased to see you Jack The Alien." her eyes staring into me. Can Celestia read thought? I wondered. Hope not.

"Please, just Jack thanks." I sputtered, still a bit flustered.

"But first let's get you out of those dreadful clothes." Rarity said from the back. "Into something a bit more formal. Oh grow up Rainbow Dash." she said to the cyan pegasus who was giggling like mad.

"hey it's none of my business if you two wanna be together." she giggled, making both me and Rarity blush.

***

Luna was tossing and turning in her sleep. Her dreams filled with thoughts of the alien and his wonderful music.

Just as she woke up she heard a knock at the door.

"It's open." she called sleepily.

"Greeting sister, I hope I wasn't disturbing your sleep." Princess Celestia swung open the doors.

"Not at all Celly." Luna smiled at her big sister.

"I trust you took care of the alien?"

"He is in the guest bedroom downstairs." Luna looked out the window down to the guest room with wilful eyes.

Celestia smiled at her sisters behaviour. "You wish to court him." she said plainly.

"I do not!" cried Luna immediately turning scarlet.

"Luna. I've known you for millennia, I think I can sense my sisters emotions." Celestia smirked.

"Well. Maybe I do. But you mustn't tell him. Please." Luna looked at her big sister with imploring eyes.

Celestia laughed "I won't then, little sister. But if you really feel this way you should tell him yourself. One of Twilight Sparkle's friends -Pinkie Pie- is throwing a welcome party for Jack, the 'alien'. You should come, it would be good for you to get out of this stuffy room and meet some new friends."

Luna pondered this for a while. It would be nice to get out and have some fun, she'd learnt all about that last Nightmare Night and enjoyed it.

"Maybe I will Celly. Thanks." she smiled at her big, motherly sister.

"See you tomorrow at 8:00 PM then. Try and get some sleep."

Celestia closed the doors on her way out and left Luna with her thoughts again.

A party. Yeah. That would be great. she thought and drifted off to sleep.

The Princess and I - Part 2

Disclaimer: All My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters owned by Hasbro.

Note: If the cloppyness isn't what you're used to, forgive me. First time writing any sort of clop.

The Princess and I - Part 2

"Hold still." grunted Rarity as she attempted to take my measurements once more, her patience very thin. We had been relocated to a small almost replica of the boutique in Ponyville, with most of her equipment brought to make dresses and suits for the colts.

And me.

"I'm trying but it's itchy." I said, wiggling my leg, eager to move. This tailoring business was too... soppy.

"Well we all have to do this, so get used to it."

"Well how long are you going to experiment on me?"

"As long as it takes." she scowled, then grinned "You want to look good for Luna don't you?"

"You be quiet now." I said as my face turned blood red. After a few silent minutes I noticed she was still grinning. "Alright fine, how do you know?" I sighed and winced as I heard her squeal with delight.

"Well the tell-tale signs are there, your hooves -sorry hands- went all sweaty when you saw her. You could barely keep your mouth closed." she giggled "And then there's your carriage flight here, with your romantic music."

"It was not romantic." I stated, blushing.

"Hardly." she snorted "We heard it as you flew over Ponyville. 'I just want to start a flame in your heart'. Sound familiar?" she giggled again.

"Mhm. Get on with it." I muttered as I turned scarlet again.

"With what? We're finished here, go take that into the changing room. I won't peek." she giggled like a schoolfilly.

I wandered over to the changing room and changed into the suit Rarity had made for me. It fitted perfectly. "Now all I need is my fez and I'm good." I grumbled to myself. Dammit all my hats were back on earth, the top hat would've been great tonight. Fez would've been better. Fezzes are cool. I've lost my train of thought again haven't I? Back to the suit.

I came out the changing room and turned around showing her her handiwork. "How do I look?" I asked smugly.

"Absolutely dashing. Maybe a bit tight in the tushi..."

"Quit lookin' at mah tush!" I cried and spun around, making her scarlet for a change.

"Yes well, have a look for yourself." she said still blushing and gestured to the podium spinny around thing (seriously what are they called?) and looked in the mirror. I did look dashing, like a replica of Bond. Exshellent. I thought in a Connery voice.

"Now go take it off, keep it safe for tonight." Rarity said.

As I wandered back over to the changing room I heard a knock at the door.

"It's open." Rarity called.

"Greetings Rarity, Twilight Sparkle said you would be here. I was wondering if you would commission us a dress for tonight's party." I heard Luna's voice say. Wait, Luna? My eyes went wide with panic, my palms got all sweaty and clammy and my throat dried up.

"You want m-me to d-d-design a d-dress for you?" I heard Rarity's ecstatic voice stutter, and opened the dressing room door a teeny tiny bit so I could see what was going on.

"Yes. My sister tells me that your dresses were lovely at the last Gala. We wish to try one for ourselves."

Rarity was leaning against the dresser, trying not to faint from excitement. Just wait, soon you'll be designing wedding dresses for her and her friends. I thought. Then i saw the princess was standing in front of Rarity, her rear clearly visible from my secret hidey hole. It was pleasurable.

"Me gusta." I grinned an immature grin as I ogled her butt and watcher her mane flow and her curved body.

I looked down and noticed my dick was becoming erect thinking about Luna. Shiiiit, I cant go out with a boner, what if it's visible through my clothes or even worse; Stallions are larger? I mean I wasn't an exception on either end of the spectrum, just somewhere in the middle, but still. She being immortal she must have seen some doozies in her time right?

OK, play it cool, I told myself. Just get dressed and walk out nonchalantly. Hopefully she wont notice me. I quickly got changed as quietly as possible and slipped out. So far so good I thought.

"Jack darling don't leave without your suit." I heard Rarity's damning voice just as I was about to slip out the door. Noooooo! My brain screamed and turned around slowly. Both Rarity and Luna were staring at me, Luna's expression a mixture of embarrassment and curiosity.

"...Hi." I said quietly, glaring at Rarity. I was almost home free dammit! I mentally shouted at her.

"...Hi." Luna replied also giving a dirty look at Rarity, who beamed and started packing my suit.

"So... goin' to the party tonight?" I ventured casually.

"Maybe." she blushed and stroked her mane. That was adorable.

"Cool." the awkward banter continued like this for a while before we heard a squeak from Rarity. She was staring at us with a hoof in her mouth trying not to laugh. We both turned blood red.

"Well I'd best be going, get ready 'n stuff." I muttered. "See you around." and hurriedly left, tripping over something and clumsily flailing everywhere trying to keep m balance. I got up slowly and brushed myself off and left with a barely audible "Goodbye." to the ponies behind me, ears burning bright red.

"See you soon." Luna said quietly, stifling a giggle as I picked myself up, as she turned to Rarity. "So about that dress..."

I hurried to the castle guest room as fast as possible, taking the shortest routes. The only ponies I met were Applejack and Fluttershy walking past.

"Oh howdy Jack. What's the rush?" Applejack asked clearly noticing my, what-felt-like-they-were-on-fire ears.

"Nuttin'." I replied. "Nuttin' at all."

"You sure?" Fluttershy asked after AJ had nudged her and whispered something, a big grin spreading across both their faces.

"Is it about Luna?" Applejack smirked.

"...Maybe." I could feel my cheeks turning red again. Why does this keep happening to me today?

Fluttershy giggled "Well maybe you should get working on what you're gonna say to her at the party."

"Uh huh." I grunted in acknowledgement. Crap what was I gonna say? 'Hi how are ya, wanna have sex sometime?' I don't think so. "Well thanks guys but I best be going, gotta get used to this monkeysuit." I gestured to the bag Rarity's suit was contained in.

"Sure, no pressure. Just remember to have fun." Applejack laughed and the two walked off

I arived at the castle without any more interruptions and climbed the stairs to the guest room and as neatly as possible threw the suit onto the bed and very slowly began to feel coldness in my ears again. "I need some music in here, calm my nerves." I grumbled, still recovering from the 'boutique incident' and started listening to some Ram Jam on my phone.

There I lay on the bed for a while, staring at the ceiling, humming along to the song. "Now we wait." I mumbled to myself and stroked my chin. "Whoa Black Betty, bam-ba-lam..." I sang along absent mindedly.

***

Luna felt her heart flutter when she realized Jack was there in the boutique with her.

"...Hi." he had said.

"Hi." she had replied. How hard was it to talk to a secret love? She wondered.

Not as hard as breaking their heart. Nightmare Moon whispered.

Go away, Luna thought, fighting back the Nightmare's thoughts as the awkward conversation took place. Thankfully, after a few minutes of idle awkwardness, Rarity broke the tension by uttering a small squeal of delight as she watched the two love-birds attempt to talk to each other.

"Well I'd best be going, get ready 'n stuff." Jack said and as he turned to leave, Luna, for some unknown reason, used her magic to move a small box in front of him, making him trip and flail all over the place. She tired so hard not to giggle, the poor  dear's ears turned scarlet as he mumbled a very quiet "Goodbye." and headed off towards the castle.

"So Rarity, about that dress?" Luna turned to the marshmallow coloured unicorn, who was beside herself with giggles. She straightened up and became ladylike once she realized the Princess was speaking to her.

"Of course Princess, what would you like? Something elegant? Something bedazzling? Something to show any courting members of the party?" she winked at the last comment making Luna blush.

"Just a simple dress please, nothing too fancy." she smiled.

"Oh but Princess, surely you want to look your best for J- anypony who might be interested?" Rarity said, almost giving the game away. Luna raised an eyebrow at the 'J' and suddenly wondered if Rarity somehow knew. Was it that noticeable? Was that why he was so awkward? She could feel the sweat running down her face as she forced a smile and tried to look casual.

Rarity noticed the Princess's nervousness and quickly wiped the smile from her face. "Oh Princess you don't need to be nervous, everypony has a crush at one point or another-" she stuck her hoof in her mouth, realizing what she had just said. "I d-didn't mean anything by that of course-" she sputtered trying to recover something.

Luna held a hoof and silenced her. "It is alright Rarity, we haven't felt this way about anypony before. Could you perhaps... teach us?" she asked so timidly it would give Fluttershy a run for her money.

Rarity's jaw fell. "B-b-but of course Princess!" she cried, beaming "I would be honoured to. Now, because he seems shy when around you, get him talking about something he enjoys."

"He seemed friendly enough when we were listening to The King." Luna said.

"The king? I thought you and Princess Celestia were the ones in charge of Equestria, who's the king?" asked Rarity, puzzled by the mention of this never before heard 'king'.

Luna laughed "He's not actually the king but humans call him 'The King of Rock and Roll'. I made the same mistake too."

"Oh. Well get him talking about music then, peak his interests, make him comfortable. learn something about the music he likes." Rarity smiled at the Princess. "But first, let's get you that dress."

"Yes of course. Something Princess like but not snobbish like most of Canterlot's citizens." Luna snorted "No offence intended to you Rarity." she added hastily.

"None taken, frankly I'm surprised you said that. Most of the Canterlot citizens are snobs."

The two girls laughed and talked more about dresses and how to approach boys and whatnot.

Once Luna had her dress ready, she waved goodbye to Rarity and headed towards the castle to get ready for the party. She went through all the normal things one would do attending a fancy party: brush her mane, get used to the dress, that sort of thing. She also decided she would go visit her big sister and tell her about her feelings and why she tripped him over.

***

Celestia swivelled her head around and called out to the knocking at the door "It's open, come in!"

"Hello sister." Luna said, standing in the doorway shivering slightly.

"Greetings Luna, did you get your dress?" she asked politely.

"Oh yes, rarity did a wonderful job."

"I told you she would."

"And Jack was there."

Celestia face lit up as she finished off her banana and her ears pricked up at this. "Oh?" she asked bemused at her sister's sudden timidness.

"I made him trip over, but I don't think he knew it was me. Why did I do that?" Luna asked looking into her big sister's face with earnest eyes.

Celestia put a wing around her sister, "Sometimes, Luna, ponies who are in love do strange things that are unexplainable." she smiled her warm, kind smile with a hint of humour.

Luna continued to stare into her sisters eyes. Is she telling the truth? I can never tell. she thought.

Some ponies do crazy things like break another's heart. hissed the Nightmare in Luna's skull. "Nightmare Moon's been talking a lot lately." she mumbled to her sister, avoiding looking her in the eyes.

Celestias face suddenly changed form kind and motherly to something darker, her smile fading. She brought a hoof up to Luna's face and raised her chin to look in her eyes. "What has she been saying?" she asked sternly but also concerned. She didn't want to send her sister to the moon again. Not for anything.

"Evil things. Like breaking another's heart... I think she intends to use Jack to break free again." Luna said, tears in her eyes.

"If Jack feels the same way about you as you do him, I think there will be nothing to worry about." Celestia smiled again, her face becoming normal and warm once more. "Don't worry about it Luna. Have a banana." she said as she comforted her sister and lighting her horn up to the bag of the yellow fruit to her left.

"I'm fine thanks." Luna sniffed "What makes you think he likes me the way I do him?" she asked suddenly curious.

"You'll see what I mean." Celestia smiled mischievously. "Oh yes. You will see. Now, off to bed with you. Get some sleep before tonight." and nuzzled Luna affectionately.

Luna nuzzled back, not trusting her sister one bit. She knew what she was like. "Alright then. See you tonight Celly?"

"You bet."

This is going to be fun. Celestia thought after Luna had left and carried on munching on a banana.

***

As Luna walked past the guest room on her way to her chambers once again, she heard music coming from inside. Not music like before but something... folksier, like Octavia's music but not as classy, more down to earth. She pressed an ear up against the door and listened:

"It's the rise of the phoenix..." she heard a happy voice sing. Was that Jack singing and playing that music? Did she dare spy on him? She did. She carefully pushed the door open a teeny bit with a tender nudge from her hoof and saw him dancing around the room, indeed playing the guitar.

"Da da daaa... dammit. Gotta get better at this thing." he muttered and she winced as he struck the wrong cord on the guitar. "Who would've thought I'd find a guitar, so similar to mine, of all things here?" he chuckled to himself, "Meh, like I always say: don't question good things; bad things will happen."

Luna held her breath as he bean to play again. it was beautiful and she wanted so much to hug him and congratulate him, but what if he didn't approve of her eavesdropping or didn't like performing in front of others? She was torn between indecision.

"It's the rise of the phoeni-" he began to spin and stopped dead. And stared right at her.

Her world froze. Luna noticed she had stuck her head almost fully around the door. How had he not seen her earlier? Turning red again, she quickly retrieved her head from around the door and galloped up the stairs to her room.

Jack stood there for a few minutes before carefully placing the guitar back in it's case and sprinted after her.

***

"Bam-ba-lam..."

I kept humming that too catchy song to myself once it had finished. I decided to leave it off for a bit. There's only a limited number of songs on my phone anyways and eventually I would get bored of the same songs so I had a jolly wander about my room. It was pretty big for a 'guest' room, the balcony alone was bigger than my room on Earth.

"Huh. That's something I didn't think would happen today." I muttered. "I'm actually missing Earth and it's shittiness. Next time it rains here I am taking a walk in it." I declared. "Old British past-time." I laughed. "Agh" I cried as i tumbled over a case of things. "What's this?" I wondered aloud as I saw the perpetrator: A small wooden case. I opened it. "Huh. Didn't expect that." I mumbled as I pulled out the cases inhabitant: a small elegant looking acoustic guitar, very similar to mine. I gasped. "I must play it immediately!" I declared to no-one in particular as I was suddenly overcome with a sense of knowing what I was meant to do.

I pulled it out and blew the dust off. "*Cough* Wow, dusty indeed. Let's see if it's in tune." To be honest I had little to no experience when playing the guitar, I had just decided to learn to play it one day and never really went back to it, yet I started tuning it like I my friend who's lead guitar in a band. Pretty good too. Once I was satisfied it was tuned properly I began to play.

My eyes went wide as I started to play it flawlessly for a while, just any old tune that I could think of, I could hear as though it were playing from a guitar. This was weird. I decided and laughed and danced around a bit, singing and playing odd bits of Rize Of The Fenix as if I were actually JB or Kage.

"It's the rise of the phoenix... Da da daaa da da daa... dammit" I sang and struck the wrong chord and threw myself off. I chuckled at my own expertise of playing the guitar. "Gotta get better at this thing." Maybe I can play it at the party. Bet Luna would like that. "Meh, like I always say: don't question good things; bad things will happen." I said and smiled and began to play again: "It's the rise of the phoeni-"

*** Music stops abruptly

I stopped. For there at the door was the disembodied head of Luna. Watching me. How long had she been there? Had she seen me dancing around before?

But before I could ask she withdrew her head and fled up to her room. "Wait!" I tried to shout but the only sound that came out was a strangled noise from the depths of my throat.

I carefully placed the guitar in it's case and chased after her. Not having a clue where to go. When I left the room, I wandered down the left hand side of the corridor and came to some stairs. I assumed these were Luna's stairs, seen as how they went up and were dark. I began my ascent slowly.

Up ahead I could hear weeping, problem was it was pitch black now so I had no idea where I was or which way I was going, so I fell on all fours and scurried up the stairs like some sort of weird insect thing. I eventually saw a shaft of light in the utter darkness on the stairs and headed towards it.

When I got to it I realized it was light shining through a door frame. Luna's room I suppose. I gingerly approached and pushed the door open slowly. The room was shrouded in complete darkness except for a small lamp under the bed covers. Where the weeping was coming from too.

"Uhh... Princess?" I called out to the darkness. I got a sniff in reply. "I don't mind that you were eavesdropping on me. I quite liked having someone listen to it, no-one was in at home when I would play... You OK?"

"You didn't mind?" I heard a sad voice, that killed me a little inside, float out from the covers of the bed.

"Not at all. Mind if I sit?" I asked the now formed lump in the middle of the bed.

"No." the lump sniffed as I sat down on the edge of the bed, about an arms length away from the lump.

"It's mighty dark in here, don't you want some light so we can see each other?" I asked the lump again.

No response. The curtains just flung open with a dark indigo outline.

"Now how about you come out from under there?" I nudged the lump and made it giggle.

Slowly Luna's head poked out the covers near me. "Hello." she giggled.

"Hi." I smiled. The hell was I playing at? Think of the scandals if an alien was caught in the Princess's inner sanctum! "I prefer talking to Luna than a lump any day."

She giggled again. That sound was like melted rainbows to my ears and made my heart's heart leap into it's mouth. "That was a nice song you were singing." she said, remembering Rarity's lesson, unbeknownst to me at the time.

"Well thanks m'lady." I grinned. "I suppose that's Rock and Roll as well, but the band who first performed that song are heavy metal primarily. They were called Tenacious D. They are gods of rock." I grinned as I said this.

She grinned back "What does the 'D' stand for?" she asked, her big light blue eyes staring into mine.

"Duo. But most people just call them The D." me watching her face for any sign of anything.

Things got quiet as we stared at each other.

"Sun's going down." she murmured. "The party must be starting soon... we should-"

"*Cough* Yeah, I'd best be... going now for... stuff... see you soon." I fumbled over the words and shuffled towards the door.

"Wait."

I froze. "Yes?"

"Here." she leant in and gave me a small peck on the cheek. Then immediately turned blood red again. "I'm s-sorry I-I-I d-don't kn-know w-why I did that..." she stuttered and dove under the covers again.

A rather large smile had spread over my face after she kissed me. I placed a hand on the quivering lump that had taken up residence under the covers again and felt it cease moving instantly.

"Goodbye Princess. I'll see you at the party m'lady." I said as I removed my hand and closed the door on my way out.

Luna poked her head out as I left.

"Goodbye... my love." she whispered and silently squealed with delight. 7:50 PM.

***

Gee-ee-zus. Pardon my French but... fuck. I had just been kissed by the Princess of the Night. What would your reaction be? Anyways. After closing the door I leant against the wall for a while, going over what had just happened in my head. It seemed she liked me too. Interesting.

As I fell down the stairs (I had forgotten they were in total darkness) I ended up where the stairs exited into the corridor where my room was. "Convenient." I muttered as I picked myself up and brushed myself off.

I walked to the room, trying to contain my excitement as much as possible and quickly shut the door -locking it this time in case of interruptions- although the last one may have gotten me a girlfriend. I grinned at the thought. "Suit. Right. Before I get distracted some more."

I quickly changed, and fastened the bow-tie, Rarity had shown me how in the boutique, and waited, looking at the clock: 7:56 PM. Four minutes. Might as well have been four months, or years.

One tortuous minute passed.

7:57 PM.

Aggh this was horrendous, how can one be expected to wait three -two- minutes for so long?

Ah to hell with it. I'll go down now. I thought and set off for the ballroom, making sure to grab my phone on the way out, I'll probably need that for later.

I arrived in time to just as well too, other ponies had started to arrive, all in formal attire. 7:59 PM.

"Jack! Over here!" I heard a familiar voice shout.

I could feel myself getting all hot and bothered as I approached my friends and Celestia. "'Sup guys?" I asked casually noticing Celestias rather unnerving grin on her face.

"Nothin' just waitin' fer you to show up so this party-" started Applejack

8:00 PM. We have lift-off.

"Can get started!" boomed Pinkie Pie, merrily and whipped out the infamous party cannon from seemingly nowhere and began plastering the walls with confetti and balloons and many other various Pinkie related items.

Soon the party was abuzz with the chatter of many guests. So many I couldn't go three feet without being dragged down and shoved in the face of some upper class twit. "Bugger off." I grumbled as one of them trod on my poor foot. "Hey Rainbow! Where's the bar at?" I shouted at the pegasus flapping near my head, me being a few feet taller than all ponies here.

"Just over there. Careful though, it's strong stuff. Knocked Derpy right out." she called back before fangirling everywhere when the Wonderbolts showed up.

Good I need a stiff drink. "Thanks."

I eventually found the bar, along with Rarity and Twilight deep in a hushed conversation. Gossip probably. Probably about me. And Luna. Oh Gods the implications.

"Hi girls. What're ya drinkin' there?" I asked as I stumbled past some top hat wearing douche.

"Nothing alcoholic I can *hic* assure you good sir." Rarity slurred.

I glanced at Twilight.

"I believe the punch has been spiked." she replied, grinning at Drunk Rarity. "I'd better keep an eye on her in case she *hic* assaults Blueblood again." she giggled, drunkenly.

"I reckon  you've had a bit as well Twilight Sparkle." came Celestias voice as she crept up on us. "Though not as much as your friend."

"Princess!" Twilight fumbled her drink and nearly spilt it over her dress.

"Careful now Twi." I laughed as I caught the drink from tipping over and set it up right.

"Oh. Right." she smiled weakly and righted herself on the stool.

"Jack. A word please." the Princess of the Sun took me over and put a wing around me as we walked away. "Luna will be joining us shortly." she smiled.

"Great." I beamed, eager to see her again. "I was looking forward to-"

"On the condition." she interrupted and my face fell slightly. "That you play some music for her. I believe her exact words were 'Something heavy'." she grinned.

"Oh that? Psh'aww. No problem." I grinned back. "Just you wait and see."

"Good. I would hate for her to be disappointed. Especially after what happened a few minutes ago." she winked.

"Oh you troll you, Celestia." I chuckled, turning red yet again. "Perhaps you could assist in making the sound better?"

"Perhaps i could." her horn lit up and imbued the phone with a golden glow, making it shine very brightly from my pocket. then she laughed a Princessy laugh and walked off to mingle with some party attendees.

"What da fuck is dis shit?" I said when I heard the party music "This isn't music this is ear cancer. Move." I told the DJ - Not Vinyl Scratch by the way- who was playing some god awful dubstep. How did dubstep exist in Equestria but not heavy metal or rock anyway?

I swatted away the protests from the failed DJ and told him to go grab a beer or something. He'd never heard of beer. I told him to die. He hung his head in shame and sauntered over to the bar, determined to prove me wrong.

"Alrighty then. This thing on?" I said into the microphone. "Ahem. My name is Jack. I am the human. Worship me." I paused to see what would happen and smirked at the befuddled faces of the party goers. "Nah I'm just messin' with ya. Here's a song about the most trollish of things: Discord." I grinned as the partier's looked terribly confused and began to murmur amongst themselves and began to play some of this.

Soon the party-goers started dancing to the music and started letting their frilly manes down. I noticed Rarity had fallen asleep on Twilight from my vantage point in the DJ booth. I wondered if they would go home together after this. Then I noticed a pink blur next to me.

"Wha- Pinkie? When did you get up here?" I asked the pink one.

"I thought I'd come give you a hoof with them tunes." she beamed. "Whadda ya think of your welcome party?" she asked, eyes teeming with... well... Pinkie Pie.

"'S great Pinks. Best party ever so far." I grinned as the pink pony bounced up and down with delight.

"Oh i knew you'd love it, see Gummy -he's my pet alligator- thought there might be too many balloons in the cannon, but I told him he was crazy. You can never have enough balloons."

"Or pink elephants." I murmured, bringing up old memories. "Next party has pink elephants. Promise me Pinkie Pie." I looked at her with a terrible poker face before we both broke out into fits of laughter.

"Sure that sounds super-duper. Maybe in a pink elephant parade party." I think my mind broke when I realized what I'd suggested and she was taking it seriously.

Meh. Pink elephants make everything better.

*** Music stops

Then the partier's, as one, gave a gasp of amazement. For there stood the radiant Princess Luna in an absolutely stunning dress at the entrance to the ballroom. She turned scarlet when she saw that most ponies grovelled as they saw the former tyrant in her bride-worthy dress. If Rarity was concious she would have probably passed out from how the Princess looked in her dress.

Source

The crowd parted as she made her way to the centre of the room and I noticed Celestia looking at me. Mouthing "Now." Oh yeah the music.

"Princess!" I called out to her.

She looked up and smiled at me, her cheeks a delicious rosy red colour.

"You want heavy? You gots it girl." and I began to play Disturbed "How would you feel if Ten Thousand Fists hit you everypony?" I bellowed to the stunned crowd. The DJ from before came back up to me and asked what this music was.

"This. Is. METAL." I shouted, head banging as I turned the music up again and watched as most of the ponies attending were head banging too.

*** Music fades away

"I'm not finished yet!" I cried out to the crowd who were all suffering some sort of neck injury. Pfft. Amateurs. "Let me hear you belt out a facemelter!" I bellowed.

The crowd below murmured. "Facemelter? What? This music is great but if it melts faces..."

"Oh come on!" I shouted. "You've never head the Facemelter Highlander. Boom. Go." I left the twelve minute song playing very loudly as I went to see Luna, who had moved over to the bar and was talking with Twilight. I noticed she kept looking over at me.

"Greetings m'lady." I said as I bowed to her. "Was that heavy enough for you?"

She threw her forelegs around my neck and kissed me full on the lips as soon as I was in range.

Twilight's jaw dropped.

Rarity opened her eyes and saw the two of us kissing and immediately sobered up and her jaw dropped as well as Twilight's. Then she hugged her friend and blinked back tears.

I could feel Luna's tongue protruding the edges of my mouth as we kissed for about a full minute before I had to break away.

"Hold your tongue m'lady." I cleared my throat and threw back my neck. "WOAH-OH-OH-AH-AH-AH-AAAA-HA-AH-AH-AH!!" I bellowed to the crowd and planted a great big, firm kiss on Luna's lips again, she doing the same. This time when we kissed however, I continued by picking her up and walking out the room with her, straight through the glass door, out into the garden.

***

I carried her far into the garden, still kissing so we stumbled over a few things, but that didn't deter us in the slightest.

"Mmm." she mumbled.

"What was that?" I said, pulling away for a second.

"Nothing. Shut up and kiss me." she pulled my head lower to hers again and we carried on.

Eventually we stopped and looked at each other. "Right here? Right now?" said I.

"Right here. Right now." said she.

I quickly started to unbutton the jacket, pants and shirt and carelessly tossed them into the trees around us, she slipping out of her dress and flinging her crown somewhere, then she pounced me, pinning me to the ground.

"Socks." my eyes grew wide as they travelled down her body and noticed the leg-wear.

"Yeah." she deviliciously grinned at me and kissed my chest.

I stroked her mane as she did this and tickled the base of her horn, hearing her give a small moan of pleasure. Then i reached down with my other hand and stroked her wings, sending a shiver up her back.

She continued to whimper deliciously as I tickled her horn again.

"Don't stop." She whispered, just quietly enough to warrant a repeat.

"What was that? You want me to stop?" I teased her.

"Don't ever stop. I want you." she continued to whisper as I pulled her upwards so her head was level with mine and I began to kiss her neck and stroked her wings again and felt her body shiver on top of mine.

I looked down when I felt a tugging at my ankles. "I swear I had clothes on a few seconds ago." I chuckled when I looked back up into her eyes and saw her horn glowing and she ran a hoof across my crotch, fondling the balls and shaft.

"Shhh." she placed a hoof over my mouth as the other one stroked my erection. I reached down with one hand and felt her underbelly, it was warm. And smooth. Then I ran my hand along her socked leg and immediately felt the boner increase

"Ohh..." I murmured as I felt her soft coat against my leg.

"Stay right here." she whispered and nibbled my ear as she moved back down my body and I felt a warm feeling tugging at my underwear. "Big boy." she flashed a sultry smile at me as she saw my penis and began to run her tongue across its length.

"Oh you tease."

She giggled an adorable giggle as she carried on licking the end of it and cradled my balls in a hoof. While she did this I ran my fingers through her long, starry mane and wondered if I'd crushed any solar systems by doing so, I was quickly snapped back to reality (reality as in this is really happening) when I felt her mouth slip over the top with a loud sucking sound.

"Oh I bet you could suck a golf ball through a hose." I told her as she got to work. I could feel something brewing inside the bottom of my penis as she did so. No. You are not blowing your load this early. I told it.

"C'mere. My turn." I moaned as she released the General with an audible *plop* and flipped her over on her back, taking care not to crush her wings in the process.

"Rut me my prince. Rut me till dawn." she whispered as I stroked her lady parts. I slowly worked my way down her body, first with kissing her neck, then her chest, then I got to her rear legs and her marehood and began teasing her as she did me.

First I stroked her wet clit with my forefinger and middle finger together and slowly rubbed along the edges of it, enjoying her audible moans of pleasure and lust as they escaped her.

"Take me... my... prince..." I heard her whisper, then gasp in pleasure as I rubbed the tip of my penis against her now dripping wetness.

"As you wish m'lady." I whispered back as I dove into the action.

Her moans were quite loud as they already were, now, when I reached penetration, they became more like cries of delight as I slowly pounded away at her, her rear legs wrapping around my middle.

"Flip over." I commanded, pulling out a teeny bit, before ploughing in again, savouring the feeling and she was more than happy to oblige for I knew that doggy style was best for penetration. As she flipped I came (Pun unintended) to a horrible realization: No protection. Fuck it (Oh god the puns) I decided I was staying here forever, why not try for... that?

When she was on her front again and whimpering for more I got up on my knees, again pulling out for a short time as I lifted her rear into the air, level with my crotch height and pressed her flanks together and began to lap up the juices she was producing. It smelled like a warm summer's night in a meadow, with a hint of hay and Rarity's perfume. It tasted even better.

"Ohhh..." she loudly moaned again. "Ohhhhhh.... Ohh.... Ohh." she gave in and released everything, covering my face in the deliciousness. her rear slumped to the ground, spent.

"Oh no I'm not finished." I said and picked it up again, wrapping my arms around her legs, keeping her butt upright and began to pound away again, faster and harder than before until...

"Ohhhh.... Princess...." I breathed, having spent my loose change. and rolled away from her, flopping onto my back.

She turned to face me "That. Was. Brilliant. You were brilliant." she kissed my Luna-juice covered face and lapped some off my nose.

"Oh baby..." I whispered, suddenly very eager to take her again.

There we lay, fully naked and fell asleep in a silent embrace.

***

When we woke up we gathered our clothes up and went back, hoof in hand, to the party. By now most of the guests had left and only Celestia, asleep Twilight, head in a bucket Rarity, surprisingly sober Rainbow Dash, bloated Applejack as she spent the night by the buffet cart, an exhausted looking Fluttershy in the embrace of a stallion, a fairly hyper but not 'Pinkie' hyper Pinkie Pie and a few others, dancing to the slow music the current DJ was playing.

Celestia smiled when she saw the two of us re-enter through my makeshift door.

"I trust you slept as well as Fluttershy did?" she grinned and nodded towards the yellow pegasus, who was dancing with a rather dapper looking stallion, her head resting on his shoulders as she fought to stay awake.

My eyebrows raised at this mention. "Really? Fluttershy, you dog." I grinned at her as they danced slowly past and she smiled weakly at us.

"Yes sister, I see what you meant about telling him my feelings." Luna looked up at Celestia, as she nuzzled and put her wing around me.

"Then my little sister is growing up." she beamed with pride. Then she added sadly "You know it won't last forever?"

"I know, but I intend to make the most of it." Luna replied and kissed her on the nose again.

"What do you mean 'It won't last'? of course it will." I put an arm around her "I would rather die before anything happened to Luna."

"That's just it though, my love." Luna said through teary eyes. "You will die and I'll be forced to live on without you." as she buried her face in my shoulder and wept softly.

"Then we shall have to fix that. Won't we Celestia?" I growled, somewhat gently, at the Sun God. "That spell exists doesn't it?"

"Indeed it does. However it is highly dangerous and experimental. It might not even work." she sighed. "But I will try. After some research we shall try." she placed a hoof on my shoulder and smiled. She was very motherly. I wondered what happened to the sisters' parents. Even Zeus had Kronos before he tried to eat him, so what did Luna and Celestia have?.

"But right now it is too late and someponies are very tired." she chuckled and nudged the sleeping on-my-shoulder Luna and pointed to Fluttershy, who's stallion had flipped her on his back and nodded goodbye to them.

"Yeah. I am pretty boshed myself." I yawned. "C'mon sleepy head."I prodded Luna in the direction of the entrance and the stairs up to her room.

The Princess and I - Part 3

Disclaimer: All My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic characters owned by Hasbro.

The Princess and I - Part 3

I took a deep breath of the sea air as it blew against my face.

My arm was wrapped around my beloved princess as we sailed the high seas. "Are you ready to be ravished m'lady?" I asked her and grinned.

"Oh yes, noble Captain Jack." Luna giggled and kissed me.

"Well, we have the entire boat to ourselves. What say ye and I have an... adventure?" I flashed a grin and licked the tip of her nose.

She blushed and made to get away, her bountiful booty shaking as my hand slapped it.

"You'll have to catch me first." she giggled.

"Oh it be on, princess." I growled, jokingly though, and outstretched my arms for her, tickling her mercilessly.

"Ahahahaha! Stop! We submit!" Luna laughed as I tickled her.

A loud knocking on the door interrupted us. "Luna?"

Luna groaned and rolled off me. "What is it Tia?" she asked, grumpily and pouted.

Celestia opened the door and grinned at us. "Having fun were you?"

We had gotten the curtains draped up like a sail, and the bed was the deck of the ship.

We both blushed and I covered myself up.

"What do you want, Celestia?" Luna asked and shifted her eyes to me.

I shrugged and fought to hide the General. "Down boy!" I hissed and tried to cover it up.

Luna blushed and spread her wings, giving me a bit of shelter from Celestia's gaze. "Ahem." she coughed and caught her sister's attention.

"Oh yes." Celestia blushed and turned away. "As you know, Shining Armour and our niece's wedding is approaching shortly. I shall need you to keep a close eye on things at night, sister."

Luna nodded. "As per usual."

I perked my ears up. "Shining Armour's wedding?" I asked.

The princess's nodded.

"Well, it's going to be wonderful. Sort of." I grinned.

Celestia narrowed her eyes. "What does that mean?"

I sighed. "I can't interfere with any big historical events, so I can't tell you. Time travel is weird like that. But don't worry, it all turns out good in the end." I assured her.

Luna nuzzled me. "You'll still come though won't you? She's our niece after all."

I winced. "I don't know if I should. I may give anything away."

Luna pouted. "For me?"

I hung my head. "You win." I whispered.

She clapped her hooves and nuzzled me again. "Then it's a date."

But you weren't there either. So I'll have to distract you somehow. Sorry Celly. I thought.

Celestia nodded and turned to go. "Oh and get dressed. Dinner is in five minutes."

We both nodded and gathered up my clothes and her regalia.

Two weeks had passed since we consummated our love for one another in the gardens. In those two weeks, I had become quite a name around the castle and Canterlot. The human lover of the princess.

I chuckled in memory of what one colt whispered about me.

"They say he's ten feet tall, and shoots lightning from his eyes."

The look on his face when i loomed over him was priceless.

Luna cuffed my head for scaring him like that, and told him it was alright.

Recently, we had been acting out certain fantasies she had. And my pirate accent just drove her mad.

"Wanna go for a walk after dinner?" I asked.

She nodded. "What did you have in mind?"

I shrugged. "Just a wander around. I'd like to go see Las Pegasus someday. I've always wondered what it's like. Both versions of it."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, on Earth, there was a city called Las Vegas. I just want to know if they're similar or not." I muttered.

"Well, we'll go someday. maybe after the wedding.... captain." Luna giggled and pressed up against me.

I grinned back and wrapped my arms around her and we fell back onto the bed, enjoying our time before dinner.

"Hey." I told her. "I have an idea."

"Oh?" she smiled and ran a hoof through my hair.

"Yeah. Follow me." I grinned and took her hoof.

***

Celestia glared at Jack and Luna and tapped her hoof.

"Well? What do you have to say for yourselves?" she asked.

"Sorry." they mumbled, shivering and awaiting their punishment.

Celestia scowled at them. "Do you really think it was acceptable doing what you were doing in such a public place?"

"No." they mumbled again, avoiding her gaze.

I will spare you the glorious details of what exactly the two were doing.

Celestia shook her head and sighed. "Well, go and get dressed I suppose. But if I catch you doing that again." she waved a hoof warningly. "there will be consequences.

They nodded and shuffled out the room.

***

"Why do I let you rope me into these things?" Jack chuckled.

Luna scowled. "It was your idea. I just strung you along. And please don't start with the puns."

"Why? I'm only horsing around." Jack grinned and stifled a mad cackle.

Luna facehoofed. "That was so bad it was painful."

"Oh quit being such a sore loser." Jack laughed and slapped her flank.

She scowled again and waved him away. "Oh shut up you romantic fool. Dinner's come and gone, and now I'm hungry." she pouted.

Jack bowed mockingly. "Would m'lady like some of her finest cuisine?" he smirked.

Luna glared at him and huffed. "Yes. She would. Except I highly doubt Tia is going to let us eat in peace after what happened."

He laughed and waved a hand. "Princess, you wound me. What on Earth - or Equestria for that matter - makes you think I'm going to let you starve?"

She blinked in confusion. "Excuse me?"

He tapped his nose and grinned again.

"You'll see."

He picked her up and slung her over his shoulder, making her yelp in surprise.

"Ahh! What are you doing?" she hissed as he carried her through the castle.

"Feeding time." Jack laughed as he reached the flight of stairs and squeezed her cutie mark. "Onwards and upwards, my dear." he chuckled and put her down.

She glared at him and swiped him away and led the way to their room.

***

"So what do you have planned?" Luna asked as we sat down on a pair of dark blue beanbags.

I grinned. "I have an idea. That is all." I told her and stroked her mane.

She eyed me suspiciously. "What kind of idea?"

I glanced down to my groin and winked.

"Oh. That kind of idea." Luna smiled and placed a hoof either side of my penis.

"Golf ball through a hose." i whispered to her.

She blushed and helped me out my trousers, savouring every step of the way.

I sat there, with a clearly visible boner as the General woke up.

"He seems ready for it." Luna murmured and stroked the quivering tip through my shorts.

I felt my lower lip tremble and smiled. "C'mon. Don't be a tease."

She pouted. "Don't you like my little show?" she asked as she began to lower my boxers.

"Of course I do. Just..." I murmured and fell into silence as she slipped her mouth around my tip and began bobbing her head up and down. "Ohhh..." I moaned.

She grinned and removed her mouth. "Are you ready, captain?" she said with a sultry tone.

"Aye." I grinned and kissed the top of her head, lowering myself to her height once more and running my fingers over her soft coat.

She rang her tongue along my tip again, and cradled my balls once more. "Have you grown since last time?" she asked.

I glanced down. It did indeed seem bigger than usual. "I think so. I didn't even know a penis could grow before the rest of the body. Perhaps I've finally stopped growing up ways." I joked and kissed her again.

Luna stopped and got up, walking slowly over to the bed. She patted it's soft surface. "Join me." she commanded.

As if by magic (because it was), I floated across with her magical aura surrounding me and my General.

I plopped down next to her and she pounced me.

"Take me, my captain." she whispered.

I grinned and rubbed her lips with my fingers, enjoying her moan. When I brought my hand up again, I noticed it was runny. "Mmm. You taste good." I said and licked my hand.

She moaned again and positioned herself over my member.

"Ready?" I asked.

She nodded and lowered herself.

I thrust upwards and achieved penetration instantly.

She moaned and collapsed onto me, her forelegs either side of my head and my face buried in her mane. I thrust up and down and wrapped my arms around her, enjoying this moment as much as the last time.

"Jack..." she whispered as we rutted.

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you too." I smiled and kissed her nose, letting the General release the army.

She rolled off and lay next to me, one hoof behind my head and the other grazing the side of my face. "Something's bothering you." she murmured.

I shook my head. "No, no. I'm just thinking about Shining and Cadence." I said and hugged her tightly, feeling my boner fade away.

"What about them?"

"Their wedding, mostly." I smiled.

Her eyes turned to dinner plates. This pleased me. "...And?"

"And... I've been thinking."

She gasped.

"Oh no, not yet. We've only known each other for... a few weeks I think. And I love you, I really do. But let's not... ruin... what we have." I winced at my choice of words and I winced again at her glare.

"Ruin?" she growled.

"Not ruin per say. I can't think of the word. Oh don't look at me like that." I murmured and cuddled her.

She sighed and allowed the cuddle. "Fine. We'll take this slow. Just... don't make me wait." she smiled and nuzzled against me.

I kissed the top of her head again and smiled. "Wouldn't dream of it." I said and smiled again.

We drifted off to sleep, as per usual custom after doing the nasty.

***

It was dark when I woke.

I looked around and felt Luna's heavy breathing next to me. I smiled and gently removed my arm from around her. "Be right back, Luna." I whispered.

She snored and murmured something in her sleep.

I smiled and crept to the bathroom, where I looked in the mirror and shook my head. "Gods I need a shave." I muttered and stroked the stubble on the side of my face.

Suddenly, I felt a great sorrow in my heart and sat down on the toilet seat, weeping quietly.

What the fuck is this? I thought and shook my head, trying to stop the tears. Homesick? Is that it?

I buried my head in my hands and thought about my family. My sister and two brothers, my friends, my dog, my kittens... I missed everything.

"Earth is a terrible place. Equestria is so much better." I murmured to myself and blinked. An idea came to mind. A wonderful idea. "I wonder..." I murmured and got up, pacing around the bathroom.

A knock made me jump.

"Who is it?" I called out, not thinking straight.

"Who do you think?" Luna replied from the other side. Open up, I need to use the little fillies room."

I opened the door and smiled at her, sniffing and wiping a stray tear away.

She froze. "What is it?" she asked.

I shook my head. "Homesick is all. I'm fine now."

The princess nuzzled me and gently shoved past me. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked as she positioned herself over the toilet bowl.

I raised my eyebrows as I heard the sound of pee hitting the bowl. "...Sure. Don't you want some privacy?"

She shook her head. "Privacy can wait. besides, we've just done it. I'm not bothered whether you watch me pee or not." she smiled.

I smiled back and leant against the door frame. "So... I miss my family." I murmured.

She nodded. "Naturally. I'm surprised it's taken you this long to realize you miss them."

"Well, we've never really been on good terms." I explained and placed a hand behind my head. "So I didn't really care when I came here."

She frowned. "You didn't care you missed your family? What changed?"

I looked at her and smiled. "You did. You made me think of my family."

She blushed and wiped herself dry. "That's sweet."

I walked over to her and helped her up. "We should get back to sleep." I murmured and yawned.

Luna nodded and smiled as I walked her back to the bed.

We curled up together and felt our heartbeats as one.

***

A few days before the wedding of Shining Armour and Cadence.

"Hit 'B', hit 'B'." I repeated for the millionth time.

"Shut up. it's hard you know." Luna said, smiling a bit sheepishly "It's easier for you you have fingers."

"It's not hard. You just suck at this game. And you have magic." I dead-panned as I slurped the last of the milkshake through a straw and burped loudly and brushed some escaped food off my dressing down.

"Where do I go now?" she asked, ignoring my last comment.

"There. No not there, there." I said exasperated at the princess's ineptitude at video games and sighed.

"...Hello? Are you alive?" the character in the game shouted.

"Yeah..." Luna shouted back.

"You know he can't hear you right?" I asked, wearily and reached down for some popcorn.

"Oh, can't he?" Luna asked, looking downhearted.

"Oh. My. God. You're getting upset at the dude not being able to hear you aren't you?" I looked at her as she blushed and hid her face in her long starry mane.

"No...?"

"My god you are as well."

"Shut up." she laughed and kicked me off the chair and dove into the warm spot I had created for myself.

"Oi! That's my chair, yours is over there!" I mumbled through a mouth full of food, clambering over the popcorn as I tried not to stick my foot in anything. Celestia would kill us if we spilt anything on the carpet. "Move." I grinned.

She stuck her tongue out cheekily and giggled "Make me."

"Have it your way then m'lady." I grinned and began tickling her.

"Stop it!" she cried and flailed about.

A stray hoof knocked my milkshake over and spilt it.

"Ohhh. Luna!" I grumped.

She giggled and blushed. "Sorry."

I scowled and put my hands on my hips. "Dirty girl." I grinned and picked up a cloth, cleaning up the mess and trying to scrub the milkshake out of the carpet.

She blushed and helped too. Our heads touched and we grinned at each other.

There came a knock at the door.

"Are you two ready? Cadence wants to ask you two something." Celestia called.

"OK." Luna called back. "Let's hurry up and finish this before we go." she told me.

I nodded and dropped the cloth.

We turned back to the video game. "OK. There. Go there." I pointed.

The princess nodded and gritted her teeth.

I watched her and sat back. "You are getting better at this." I smiled and patted her back.

She beamed with pride and kissed me. "Thanks." she said.

***

I straightened my tie and shifted uncomfortably.

"Oh stop fidgeting." Rarity scowled as she took my measurements once more.

I huffed. "Sorry. But It's itchy. Again."

The fashionista had kindly offered to tailor me a new suit in preparation for the wedding, so myself and Luna had travelled down to Ponyville to get our formal wear.

"Oh it's going to be wonderful isn't it?" she twittered on.

I smiled and wearily responded. "Yeah. It will be pretty memorable."

"You are coming to the celebrations aren't you?" she asked and smiled at Luna.

The princess smiled back. "Of course. We both are. Aren't we?" she asked me.

I nodded. "You bet. Wouldn't miss... this for anything." I nearly said an invasion.

Rarity beamed and trotted around me. "OK, your suit should be ready within a few hours." she told me.

"Really? That fast?" I asked, eyebrows raised.

She nodded. "But of course. Would you like to wait here for it, or go for a walk around Ponyville?"

I glanced at Luna.

She shrugged.

"A walk sounds nice. Perhaps we'll go see Applejack." I smiled and shook the fashion pony's hoof, kissing it like a gentleman.

Rarity blushed and shoved me out the door. Luna followed suit.

"So where do you want to go?" I asked her and slipped an arm around her.

She shrugged. "I don't mind. Surprise me."

I grinned and led her towards Fluttershy's.

***

Fluttershy opened the door and smiled at us. "Oh hello Jack, hello princess. What a nice surprise."

"You're not busy are you?" I asked as she hugged us.

"Oh of course not." she said and ushered us in. "Would you like something to drink?"

"Could I have a glass of water, Miss Fluttershy?" Luna asked politely.

Fluttershy nodded and flapped off, then came to a screeching halt and hurried back. "And you Jack? I'm so sorry I forgot you." she murmured and hid behind her mane.

I laughed. "I'm fine Fluttershy. You don't have to apologise."

She nodded and hurried off to get the drinks for herself and Luna.

"Poor dear." Luna whispered to me. "She frets too much about others."

I nodded in agreement.

Fluttershy bustled in with two glasses of water in her wings and a bowl of sweets.

I reached out an arm and took the bowl from her mouth and set down one of the glasses.

"Thanks." she murmured and plopped down on her sofa. "So are you two excited about the wedding?"

Luna nodded and leaned forwards.

I rolled my eyes as they began their 'wiminz' talk about the wedding. Bored, I reached down and tickled one of the squrrles behind the ear.

"Hey, little guy." I whispered as he sniffed my finger. "I ain't gonna hurt ya."

The squirrel hopped up my arm and perched on my shoulder, and the rest of the critters living in Fluttershy's house followed suit.

***

We waved goodbye an hour later. The smell of woodland creatures clung to me like sweaty clothes.

"We should go and pick up my suit and your dress now shouldn't we?" I asked.

Luna nodded. "Yes, we should. lead the way, Captain Jack." she smiled.

I grinned back as we walked back to the boutique.

***

The day before the wedding.

Luna hopped up and down excitedly, while a strong sense of dread churned in my stomach.

"Aren't you excited?" she asked me.

I nodded and bit the sandwich. "Mhm. You bet." I lied. I was in fact dreading this, and becoming somewhat frantic. Changelings looks cute on the screen, but in reality...

"You aren't are you?" she asked.

I choked and nodded frantically. "No! I am, honest."

"You're lying."

"Am not."

"I can tell. Tell me why."

I glared at her and sighed. "Alright. I'm worried sick. This wedding, as awesome as it will be... may be difficult." I muttered.

She walked up to me and nuzzled me. "How so?"

"I really shouldn't tell you."

The princess walked around me and placed her hooves on the back of my neck. "You're sweating."

"Why wouldn't I be? Invasions usually put me on edge." I muttered and clamped a hand over my mouth. "You heard nothing." I hissed.

Luna walked back around me and stared into my eyes. "What invasion?"

I grimaced and hung my head. "In..." I glanced at the clock. "Twelve-ish hours, Canterlot is going to be invaded by little bug like things called Changelings. They take the form of whomever you love so much and feed off your love." I told her and explained about Chrysalis and Cadence and everything.

"Well we must inform my sister at once!" she cried.

I sighed again. "See, I'd love to, but that would ruin everything." I said and waved my arms in the air.

"Do you wish this invasion to happen?" she demanded and glared at me. Her pale blue, azure eyes bore into my regular brown ones.

"Of course not." I said and made to hug her.

She pushed away and continued to glare at me. "So why won't you help?"

"I can't." I repeated, getting frustrated. "The rules about time travel are very clear. If I help, and reveal Chrysalis' plan, it could have serious repercussions. As much as I would want to help, I simply can't."

"Well, you're not stopping me from helping my sister." Luna snorted and spread her wings.

I sighed again. "See, you're wrong there." I murmured and smiled a bit.

Her wings fluttered as i moved closer. "What-"

"Shhh. We have twelve hours before you have to do absolutely anything. Let's have some fun for now." I grinned and stroked her mane.

Her eyes turned to dinner plates. "You... really mean it?"

I nodded.

"Really?"

"Really really."

Our heads moved lser to each other, so close I could have stuck my tongue in her nose if I so wished.

"OK, you get the game set up, and I'll get the drinks ready." she giggled and bounced off.

I grinned. I knew video games would tempt her away from helping out with the wedding. Besides, Twilight has it under control.

***

Several hours before the wedding.

I can't believe I kept her distratced for six hours. Seriously, how does someone, or pony, get this distracted? Even my attention spans longer than her's.

"So where do I go now?" she asked. World five, five on Super Mareio Sisters.

"There." I pointed to a pixel.

Seventh game. Halfway through. Good lord. She was burning through these fast. Too fast. Faster than me anyway.

"Ha ha! Take that dragon monster!" she laughed at the screen. She glanced around at me and saw the clock. "Oh, you little..." she grunted and dropped the  controller.

I turned and blinked at her. "Who you calling little?"

She rolled her eyes. "You managed to keep me from telling my sister. Now it may be too late." she muttered and flexed her wings, trotting to the door as she did so.

"It's about fookin' time!" I laughed. "Damn. I mean really? A certain number of hours, and now you notice?"

She scowled, not seeing the humour in this. "I must warn Celestia. Now."

I glanced out the window as the sun began to set. "Sun's setting." I murmured.

Luna nodded stiffly. "I shall raise the moon, and then warn my sister. We will have words, Jack The Human." she growled.

I winced. She never called me 'Jack The Human'. Thank god she didn't know my last name. What the hell was my last name anyways? In that moment. I realized I had completely forgotten my last name. And most of my family's names. "Jesus." I muttered. "Oh wonderful. I remember him, but not even my own family?" I grunted sadly.

She must have noticed the turmoil on my face as her own softened up. "I go now to raise the moon. I will most likely have to be out all night with the tight security. A royal wedding is bound to have threats. Especially if an invasion is coming." she snorted with contempt.

I hung my head in shame. "I should have told you sooner. Fucking rules about time travel bullshit." I swore and lashed out at the small chair next to me. I heard her wings beat as she took off without a further word.

Sorrow racked my pitiful, fleshy, pink body.

"Damn." I muttered and sank to the floor.

***

The princess flapped off to the tower where her sister was gazing through a telescope.

"Greetings sister. As always, I will guard the night." she said and buried the sorrow in her voice.

Celestia nodded and yawned. "I must retire. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, sister." she smiled

Luna bit her lip as her sister turned to go. Tell her! It's the right thing to do! She screamed at herself.

But remember what Jack said. What sort of repercussions? She argued back.

Before she could decide whether or not to say anything, Celestia had already left.

"Well... he says it all turns out fine..." Luna murmured sadly. She shook her head. "OF course it will. I have the utmost faith in my sister to take care of our subjects..."

***

The day of the wedding. During the ceremony.

"Ah... Shining Armour's love for you is even stronger than I thought." Chrysalis grinned devilishly. "Consuming it has made me even more powerful than Celestia!" she cackled.

Luna glared at me from our tower window.

"You said nothing bad would happen!" she grumbled and spread her wings.

I pulled her back. "I said everything turns out fine. Sadly, you're not supposed to show up until the end. During the reception. See? Twilight's found Cadence. It's all good." I murmured.

Luna snorted and trotted back into the room.

"So you aren't going to throw me out the window?" I asked hopefully.

She shot me a death glare and said nothing.

"OK, too early for jokes." I muttered and sat down next to her. "So why aren't you doing anything?" I wondered.

Luna glared at me and turned away. "I don't want to talk about it." she muttered.

I heard a tone of something in her voice. Fear? "Luna... are you scared of bugs?"

She twitched. "The Princess of the Night does not feel fear."

"You're scared of bugs aren't you?"

Another twitch. "If you must persist. Yes. I am."

I snorted a laugh back.

She scraped a hoof along the ground. "I'm terrified of bugs." she whispered.

I reached my arms out and wrapped them around her. "Shh. I'm scared of stuff too, believe it or not."

She snorted a laugh. "You jumped about three feet in the air when the cleaner knocked on the door. Scaredy pants."

"True." I laughed and rubbed my chin. "So what do you want to do until this whole things finished?"

She glanced around and shut the curtains as a changeling flew up and tapped against it. "Anything to distract me from them." she murmured and huddled against me.

I couldn't help but grin.

"Oh... I have an idea." I whispered and nibbled her dark blue ear.

She grinned back and closed her eyed and pursed her lips. "When you're ready."

I leant forwards and picked up the controller. "Still got three games to go. Get to work." I laughed and dropped the controller on her lap.

***

The loud snores of a sleeping human filled the room.

Luna smiled and patted his head as he slept. She looked out the window and saw the party outside. "So he was right. I hope Celestia isn't mad at me for missing out." she murmured.

She spread her great wings and flew down to her sister's side.

"Hello everypony. Did I miss anything?" she asked innocently.

Celestia chuckled and nuzzled her. "Not at all. We were just wrapping up. Where's Jack?"

"Asleep, as per usual."

"Of course he is. Remind me to speak with him in the morning." Celestia chuckled and bobbed her head.

As casually as possible, Luna allowed her own head to bob to the music.

It seemed life was normal, and the feeling of fear which had racked Luna's body had left. Along with seemingly all of the changelings and their queen.

This day has been just perfect. Luna thought and smiled up at her moon.

The Princess and I - Credits

The Princess and I - Credits

Credits:

Music used:

I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire - The Ink Spots

Jailhouse Rock - Elvis Presley

Rize Of The Fenix - Tenacious D

Discord - Eurobeat Brony (The Living Tombstone's remix)

Ten Thousand Fists - Disturbed

Highlander (The One) - Lost Horizon

Real Quick Lovin' - J. Thompson

Romantic Flight - John Powell - How To Train Your Dragon Official Soundtrack

Earth Angel - The Temptations

A Dog In The Boiler - Metro 2033 Official Soundtrack

The Cleansing - The Brotherhood Of The Wolf Official Soundtrack