Tears of Snow II - Breaking Icy
By - FlashKenshin77
Prequel - Night Terrors
Edited and Preread by Soulpup
"Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery."
“You’re pathetic!”
I held my head in my hooves, my eyes closed tightly. “N-no…”
“Why do you exist when she doesn’t!?”
I opened my eye and my dad stood before me again, his face contorted in barely controlled rage. I could feel the tears fall from my eyes. “It’s just a dream! Y-you're not real!”
He laughed and smacked me in the face. “Not real am I? Is that what you tell yourself to get peace while I rot in jail? Look at what you did!?” He picked me up easily and tossed me.
I landed harshly on the ground and curled into a ball. “It’s just a dream, it’s just a dream…”
He walked over and grabbed me by my mane. “Get up and fight like a stallion! Or did Storm teach you to cower!?”
“H-he’s more of a father than you’ll ever be!” I said, hoping I could end the dream fast.
Dad grinned. “Oh really? I’m surprised he kept you after everything you’ve done. Or maybe he just felt pity on you; or maybe it was his runt. Whatever makes the princess’ prize pupil happy right?”
I tried to get out of his grip and he rolled his eyes and let go. “I still don’t see what she sees in you.” He laughed. “Right, can’t see. But look at you… Your entire existence is based off another pony’s death. The only reason you even have a home now is because of the blind filly, who left you at first chance. You should’ve just let me kill you.”
“It’s not my fault what happened to Mom… I-it was an accident…”
“Accident… right. Just like I accidently gave you a limp. We had… the best doctors and you still killed her… I’m impressed honestly.”
“S-shut up!”
“What’s wrong? Hit a nerve?”
I pointed a hoof at him. “What do you know! You never treated me like a son! You used me to get what you wanted… and if I didn’t listen, you’d hit me. A real father guides his son and teaches him how to act… Not cower at everypony.”
Dad raised an eyebrow. “Oh hohoho, I see Storm’s trying to teach you. If he didn’t sneak up on me, I could’ve taken him, you know. That’s what a real stallion does right? Sneak up on his opponent.”
Suddenly I was back to that day, Dad beating me up. I could feel every hit and blow, hear every word. It was horrible... The door flew open and Storm beelined to me. Dad grinned at me and a small hoof blade appeared at the end of his hoof. He dodged Storm’s blow and I screamed, the knife plunging into Storm-
~;~
Thunder boomed in the sky, the window shuddering in the rain. I screamed and cried loudly, in a ball under the blankets. I didn’t hear the rushing hooves nor the creak of the door opening. I felt a pair of hooves wrap around me and cradle me.
“It’s okay sweetie, it’s just a dream…” Primrose said quietly, rocking back and forth.
I wept against her chest, trying to hide from the terror and pain. It was the same dream… the fifth one this week. It always followed the same pattern, no matter how many times I tried to stop it. Sometimes it was different slightly; he’d go after Primrose instead.
I looked up at her. “Why…?”
“I don’t know sweetie,” she leaned and kissed my forehead. “But the nightmare’s over and I’m here.”
I shivered against her, listening to her heartbeat and tried to calm my own. I sighed. “I’m sorry…”
“For what?”
“For… being me…”
“It’s fine, there’s nothing to be sorry about. You’ve been through so much…” She ran a hoof through my mane. “I wish there was something I could do to help you…”
“Me too…” I whispered. “H-hey Primrose?”
“Hm?”
I hesitated for a moment. “D-do you think they’ll ever go away?”
“I’m not sure sweetie… We’ll do everything to help…”
“I see…”
“Was it the same dream?” I shook my head. “You know he can’t hurt you…”
“I know… it’s just… even though I accepted I didn’t kill Mom… what he says still hurts… Every night, he’s there, breathing down my neck. Even during the day, I can just feel he’s there, waiting for me to be weak… and then he’ll attack.”
She was silent and I continued. “It feels as if my heart is just going to jump out of my chest to run away. I’m always tired, my hoof hurts all the time… I’m… I’m scared…”
She nuzzled the top of my head. “I can’t imagine what it’s like, but I’ll tell you something I know. You aren’t in any danger from your father. Everypony will make sure of that. Storm and I will always be here to take care of you.”
“P-promise?”
She smiled. “Pinkie promise…”
“S-sorry that I’m like this.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry about. You are who you are, I love you, okay?”
I blushed a little and could feel fresh tears falling. “T-thank you…”
“Of course… Now, I need you to promise me something.” I looked up and blinked at her. “If you ever feel like this, I want you to think of this. No matter what any pony tells you, it wasn’t your fault. You had doctors trained just for that emergency and they couldn’t do anything. You living was your mother’s greatest gift. Trust me, I’m a mom too. She’d want you to be happy and not sad all the time. Enjoy your life Icy, that’s what she would’ve wanted.”
I didn’t say anything as I felt a lump rise in my throat and I buried my face in her chest again. She rubbed my back and kissed my head. “Icy?”
“Mmm?”
“Can you promise me something?” I looked up. “Be happy sweetie… That’s all.”
“I-I’ll try…”
“Good…” She went to let go. “Now why don’t you go back to sleep?”
“C-can you…” I trailed off, still holding on.
She faintly smiled and got comfy. “Of course.”
I snuggled up to her and closed my eyes, trying to relax. She smiled and kissed my forehead. “Goodnight Icy, sleep well.”
“G-goodnight… Mom…” I muttered, barely able to speak before falling asleep in her hooves.
Author's Note
Hello! Well then, finally back. Apologies for disappearing there! It's been... one hell of a month... Work, school, home life... near suicide... you know, just the normal. Now... sorry it's a small chapter. This is more of me trying to get back into the swing of things... My mind is still not fully here. So any comments/questions/concerns/spelling errors/etc, let me know and I'll fix or explain. Also, I think it's time I let you in on a secret... I'm terrible at summaries... So hopefully this won't be destroyed because of that.. Oh well, I'm looking forward to your guys' responses. Till next time!
