Nice Catch

by Night Princess

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Random, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 5957

Luna decides to thank the mane six by setting up blind dates for all of them. It can't go wrong!

Princess Luna wants to thank the mane six for all they've done for her by setting up blind dates for all of them. And the best part? There's no way it could possibly go wrong.

Right?

Published 2012-05-08 20:34:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-05-11 14:22:37 UTC

Chapter One: The Best Idea Ever

Princess Luna couldn't sleep. It was several days after the huge royal wedding of Cadance and Shining Armor, and the sun was shining. Luna usually slept during the day with the curtains drawn, but today her mind was focusing on six certain mares and sleep was impossible.

These ponies included Twilight Sparkle, who helped the citizens of Ponyville accept her. Fluttershy, who had so kindly offered voice lessons. Applejack, who suggested loosening up by having "fun" with the ponies. Pinkie Pie, who gave her the idea that the ponies enjoyed being scared. Rarity, who gave her a head-to-toe makeover to help her look more royal. And Rainbow Dash, who. . . Well, she was friends with the others so Luna included her as well.

These ponies has also defeated the dreaded Nightmare Moon, Luna's alter ego, as her sister Celestia called her. Not to mention the fact that they also conquered Discord and the queen of the Changelings, Chrysalis. These ponies deserved to be celebrities! Their amazing deeds could not just go unnoticed.

"They have done so much for me," Luna said out loud. "What can I do to thank them?"

It had to be something big. Something they would remember for the rest of their lives.

She didn't know then too well, but she did know which elements of harmony they represented. And that had to reveal a lot of their personalities. Like Rainbow Dash, for instance. She was the element of Loyalty, so she must be kind, friendly, and sensitive, always willing to help her friends. What would a pony like that want?

Luna knew they all valued friendships, but they already had plenty of those. Other mares were important in all of their lives, and they had enough friends for a lifetime.

But all their friends were mares.

Then Luna had an idea. "Stallions! My gift to them will be six, charming stallions to court, and maybe even marry someday!" She giggled foalishly. She had always had a desire to find the perfect match for ponies, and now she had an excuse to do it!

"Of course I wouldn't tell them who their stallions were until the dates," she rattled on to herself. "That's part of the fun!"

She quickly wrote a letter to Twilight Sparkle explaining her plan. Surely Princess Celestia's student would love this idea, and maybe give her a few tips on what kind of stallion her friends would prefer.

Oh, this was one of the best ideas Luna ever had. Now, to choose the lucky stallions.

"Don't move, Spike," the purple unicorn warned. "This has to be perfect."

The baby dragon stood still as a statue as Twilight Sparkle aimed her horn at him.

A burst of magic exploded from her horn and landed on Spike. Change was beginning to occur when the dragon let out an enormous belch and a letter, surrounded by fire, fell out.

"Spike!" Twilight groaned. "Look what you did!"

The five mares watching burst into laughter. Spike's unexpected burp had interrupted Twilight's spell, an attempt to transform him into an elephant for a few minutes. But instead of turning completely into an elephant, Spike now had a large trunk attached to his face.

"I think ya got somethin' on yer face, sugarcube," Applejack laughed.

"Something? It looks like his nose turned some kind of freak snake." Rainbow Dash, who had no experience with exotic creatures like elephants, was rolling on the floor.

Fluttershy tried to suppressed a giggle. "It's an elephant trunk, Dashie. Not a snake."

"You look so funny, Spike! Can you do me next, Twilight?" Pinkie Pie bounced around the room.

"Don't let them insult you, Spikey-Wikey. I suppose with some glitter and eye shadow it wouldn't look too bad..." Rarity bit her lip, trying not to laugh.

"How long do I have to stay like this?" Spike complained, picking up the letter he received with his new trunk.

"Maybe an hour or two," Twilight Sparkle responded. "Let's see what the letter says, shall we?"

She took the letter from her assistant and examined it. "It's from Princess Luna! She says,

'Dear Friends,
You have all been so kind to me as I joined Equestria once again. All of you have done so much, so I now wish to return the favor.'"

"We're getting presents?" Pinkue squealed.

"'I have found six young stallions I believe you may be acquainted with, and I am now setting up dates for each one of you. Since my sister told me that all of you are currently available, I am quite sure that this idea of mine will end well. I hope that you will find this as good of an idea as I have, and that you enjoy your dates.
Sincerely,
Princess Luna.'"

The ponies stood in silence until Pinkie Pie asked, "So she's helping us make new friends?"

Twilight shook her head. "No, she's giving us...coltfriends."

"Well, I believe this may be a delightful opportunity to get to know the other sex," Rarity said confidently. "Most of us-" she eyed Rainbow Dash. "-have never even had a crush on a colt."

"It's mighty nice of the Princess," Applejack admitted. "But couldn't we just decline?"

"No. Luna is happy that she's thanking us for what we've done for her, and if we refuse then she'll be insulted." Twilight sighed. "I don't like this idea any more than you do, but we have to at least try it. For Luna."

"For Luna." The ponies agreed.

The schedules for the dates were written beneath Luna's explanation: Pinkie Pie's date was first, then Fluttershy's, then Rarity's, Applejack's, Rainbow Dash's, and finally Twilight's.

With less than a week until the first date, Rarity quickly began to make dresses. "Something stunning yet casual," she told them.

The rest of the mane six rushed to their homes to prepare for their date, and wondering who they would be set up with. Would they end up falling in love? Or would it all be a complete disaster?

Each one had no idea what to think.

Chapter Two: Pinkie Pie

Pinkie Pie's dress was sky blue cotton with pink swirls embroidered into it. White fluff was sewed onto the edge and it came with a white headband covered in blue flowers.

"I do hope you like it, Pinkie," Rarity told her, exhausted from working so hard on the dresses.

"It's super-awesome-fantabulously-perfect!" Pinkie swirled around and gazed at herself in the mirror. "I wonder who my date will be?"

"Knowing Princess Luna, he's probably a charming gentlecolt who respects your interests."

"I hope he's super-duper fun! And he likes parties! And cake!"

Pinkie finished brushing her tangly mane and trotted off, with Gummy following, to the place Luna told her to go; the Ponyville Theater.

Pinkie took the note the princess gave her out of her secret pocket and read it out loud. "'As I know you are the Element of Laughter, I thought a comedic play would be best for your date location.' Sounds fun!"

When she entered the theater, the first thing she saw was a stallion dressed in a simple suit and tie. She recognized him immediately.

"Hiya, Big Mac! I guess you're my date?" the pink pony trotted up to him and giggled.

"E-yup," was all he said.

"Cool! Say, have you met Gummy? He's my pet alligator! He doesn't have any teeth!"

The red stallion looked down and his eyes widened. He took a step back a a frightened look came over him.

"You're scared of alligators?" Pinkie didn't know what to make of this.

"E-yup."

This was a slight letdown. "Well, we can still have fun together! What's the play called?"

He shrugged, his eyes still on Gummy.

"Want me to send him home? I trained him. Watch this! Go home, Gummy!"

The alligator blinked slowly, and began waddling in the direction of Sugar Cube Corner.

"Let's go watch the play! Princess Luna says its a comedy! I love comedies, probably because I'm the element of Laughter! Did you know that? I guess so, since your sister was the element of Honesty. Hey, if we get married, I'll be related to Applejack! And Apple Bloom! And Granny Smith! And Apple Fritter! And Apple Bumpkin! And Apple Cobbler!" Pinkie yammered on while Big Macintosh helped her into a theater seat. "Do you like comedies? I sure do! Since I'm the element of Laughter and all! Oh, I already said that. Once, I accidentally said I'm the elephant of Laughter! That reminds me. Few days ago, Twilight made Spike have an elephant trunk! It was soooo funny!"

Pinkie was still talking when the play began.

It was entitled "Heart of Danger" and was supposed to be a very well-done satire comedy. However, nopony in the audience could hear a word of the okay because of a certain mare's yakking.

"Oh my gosh! Does that guy have an awesome mustache or what? One time, Spike grew a mustache! It was the funniest thing I've seen in my entire life! Hey, have you ever eaten a chimi-cherry-chunga?"

"Excuse me, miss, could you keep the chatter down a bit?" Somepony in the audience called politely.

"And the platypus kept getting bigger and bigger! Weird, huh?" Pinkie wasn't even listening to the complaints around her.

"Keep it down, will ya?"

"She always had the strange fear of being seen in a tutu and stilts! Can you believe that?"

"SHUT UP!" About forty ponies yelled at the same time.

"And that is why there are pumpkins!"

And through the whole chaotic play, Big Macintosh said nothing, and stayed very, very still.

After a while, Pinkie shut up and discovered that (shocker alert) someponies were actually trying to make her stop talking! But wasn't that what you were supposed to do when seeing somepony? Tell your date all about yourself?

Big Macintosh surely knew a lot about her now. But the problem was she didn't know a thing about him! If only he had said something more than "E-yup". That would have been helpful.

And on top of all that, he was scared of alligators! That alone could ruin their relationship.

"I think I ruined it, Gummy," she said sadly as she walked home, and let out a sigh. "Princess Luna said that she found the super-duperest stallions for us, and this date definitely was not super-duper."

Instead of going to Sugar Cube Corner, she ran to Twilight's library. She was itching to tell somepony about her first date, and Twilight was great at listening.

"Pinkie! How'd it go? Who was it?" Twilight Sparkle asked as Pinkie burst in.

"I think I ruined it," the pink mare said, flopping on the couch.

"Well, tell me!"

"It was Big Mac, and we went to see a play-"

"Big Macintosh? But he's so quiet and shy. Are you sure that's who Luna picked?"

Pinkie nodded. "I was talking through the whole play, and everypony was yelling at me. And, he's afraid of alligators! Can you believe that?"

The unicorn nodded, recalling her first introduction to Gummy. "It's strange that Luna picked Mac, because I saw him just a few minutes ago, talking to Cheerilee. The Cutie Mark Crusaders say-"

"What?! Cheerilee? Great!" Pinkie slumped to the floor. "He's cheating on me because I ruined our first date!"

"Calm down, Pinkie Pie. Just because he was talking to another mare doesn't mean he hates you."

"Did you see their pictures on HoofBook? Those two are practically married."

Twilight sighed. "The other five dates can't be as bad as this, I'm sure. Can they?"

"I don't know, but for now, I'm going to complain on HoofBook about my terror-rific love life."

Chapter Three: Fluttershy

"I can't do this, Twilight! He'll hate me!"

"No, he won't, Fluttershy. Luna has seen you and she knows exactly what kind of stallion is perfect for you. Relax."

Fluttershy admired herself in the mirror. She wore a silk, turquoise dress dotted with tiny pink flowers and a tiara that seemed to be made of branches and vines.

"You're late! The date starts in five minutes and you haven't left yet! Hurry, or you'll make a bad impression!"

Terrified at the thought of having her coltfriend judge her before meeting her, Fluttershy ran as fast as she could towards the place where Luna told her to go: the Ponyville Sports Stadium.

"What am I about to get myself into?" she thought to herself as she entered the stadium.

"Hey, lady! You got a ticket?"

Ticket? Luna hadn't said anything about her needing a ticket!

"Never mind, I wasn't going to go in anyway...I'll just try again tomorrow...or in a few years." Humiliated but a little relieved, Fluttershy began to trot off.

"Oh, are you with her? My apologies." Fluttershy could hear the security guard talking to somepony else. She turned around and saw a muscular, white Pegasus with a golden mane and red eyes.

"Are y-you my d-date?"

The stallion paused, and then let out one word. "YEAAAHHH!"

Fluttershy squeaked, frightened, and dove behind a trash can. Then she remembered herself and meekly followed the pegasus into the arena, where they sat down on a row on bleachers. He put an arm around her shoulder and she squeaked with fright.

Hundreds, maybe thousands of ponies were also seated in the stadium, and it seemed like all of them were screaming at the top of their lungs. In the arena, two teams of about twenty ponies each were lining up, and all of a sudden they began tackling, hitting each other, and throwing a brown, oddly-shaped thing around the stadium. After a few minutes, a loud, booming voice came out of a speaker. "And the Baltimare Broncos get a first down! What a game!"

"YEAHHHH!" Fluttershy's date yelled.

Everything was so loud. The ponies around her looked tougher and meaner than anypony she ever saw, or at least that's what she thought.

"Oh, this is horrible!" She whimpered, tears streaming down her face.

Deciding to make the best of it, she whispered to the stallion Luna chose for her. "What's your name?" she asked him timidly.

He said nothing and just kept his eyes on the game, yelling "YEAHH!" once in a while.

Fluttershy returned to her seat and hugged herself. "It will all be over soon," she said quietly. "It will all be over, and I can go back home to Angel."

This went on for a few hours, until the booming voice announced it was something called "half time".

The Equestrian Anthem played, and the cheerleader ponies danced.

"And now Gerry's Sports Store will announce the raffle ticket winner!"

A pudgy griffon stepped onto the field and held up a slip of paper. "The winning number is 5812! Who is 5812?"

The crowd buzzed with excitement as they checked their ticket numbers.

"Look at your ticket, you might have won!" the pony beside Fluttershy nudged her. Hesitantly, she read the ticket she held. The number read 5812.

"Do we have a winner?" The griffon yelled.

"YEAHHHHH!" Fluttershy's date yelled back. He pushed Fluttershy down the stairs leading to the arena. She landed on her face in the middle of the AstroTurf.

The griffon walked up to her. "Congratulations, you won the grand prize! What's your name, dear?"

"...F-flutters-shy." She hid behind her hooves. This was terrifying. All those thousands of ponies staring at her, silently judging her every move!

"You've won fifty pigskin footballs, courtesy of Gerry's Sports Store! What do you have to say?"

"W-what did you say they were made out of?"

"Genuine pigskin."

"From real pigs?" Fluttershy screamed and burst into tears. She couldn't handle this. Luna would just have to get her another reward, because age just simply couldn't take this. She ran off as quickly as her legs could carry her. That was a nightmare.

"So, what was his name again?"

"I don't even know, Twilight! All he was saying was 'yeahh'. It was awful, just awful! Everypony was screaming and the prize I won..."

"You won a prize?"

"Fifty footballs. Pigskin footballs! Oh, Twilight, I never want to go to another date again!" Fluttershy jumped behind Twilight's couch.

"Two dates down, four to go." Twilight sighed. "I can't wait for this terror of an thank-you to be over."

"Don't be like that, Twilight. Fluttershy popped up from behind the couch. "Princess Luna was very nice to do something that requires so much effort for us. Even if it is horrible."

"The other dates can't be half as bad, right?" Twilight agreed.

It was time to take matters in her own hooves. Twilight began to write a letter.

"Dear Princess Luna,

Thank you very much for the dates you have arranged for us. We really do appreciate the effort, but I would like to make a suggestion. Instead of assuming opposites attract as it seems you have done in the past, I would suggest you arrange a date with a stallion we are already familiar with, hopefully even one we admire. Next on the list is Rarity, who admires the most stallions out of all of us. Surely you would be able to choose one she likes?

Thank you for all you've done.

Sincerely,
Twilight Sparkle."

The letter was sent, and Twilight was left to only hope that the next date would not be as disastrous as the others.

Chapter Four: Rarity

Twilight, as responsible as she was, didn't send the letter to Princess Luna. Instead it was sent to her Celestia, who just assumed it was a friendship report and read it. When she finished, she called her sister to her bedroom immediately.

"Luna, Twilight Sparkle sent you a letter."

The Princess of the Night seemed surprised. "Thank you, sister. What did she say?"

"Something about you needing to do a better job choosing the dates."

"Celestia!" Luna's lip extended, as it always did when she pouted. "I told you not to snoop through my mail! I don't read Twilight's letters to you!"

"I never said you couldn't."

Luna stuck her tongue out at her sister and then read the letter.

"What are you doing to those ponies?" Celestia asked suspiciously.

"Rewarding them. I'm arranging some blind dates. But they don't seem to be going too well." Luna pouted again.

"She said Rarity was next? Oh, I have a suggestion for her date. I saw her talking with him once on Canterlot, and they looked like they admired each other."

"Perfect! I'll talk to him immediately. I'm sure he'll be very pleased."

Rarity was very excited for her date. Her dress was pale blue silk and dotted with shimmering diamonds. A silver tiara sat in her uniquely styled mane.

"I look fabulous," she said to herself. "This date absolutely cannot go wrong."

Luna had told her to meet the mystery stallion at the Foal's River, which began in the Ponyville woods. A perfectly romantic place.

Taking a taxi so she wouldn't get her dress dirty, Rarity began to wonder who her stallion would be. Luna was told to choose a gentlecolt, so he must become type of royalty. Oh, she couldn't wait!

She stepped out of the taxi in front of the river. It was surrounded by trees and beautiful flowers. Birds chirped, bees buzzed, and the sun shone through the trees. A gondola floated in the river, waiting to be used. It was beautiful. And romantic.

And Rarity was alone. Where was that handsome stallion Luna promised?

"I'm here, Miss Rarity! I'm not late, I'm right on time and not at all late!"

"Oh no," Rarity mumbled.

A colt stepped into the clearing where she stood. He was wearing a dirty, sweaty white shirt and purple tie that looked like he slept in it. He smiled, revealing a huge buck tooth.

"Howdy, Miss Rarity!"

"Hayseed Turnip Truck." She forced a smile.

"Why, shucks, you remember ol' me! It's been a while, hasn't it, Miss Rarity. Since we met that time in Canterlot!"

Rarity sighed. Of all the hillbilly, rednecked stallions, Luna had to chose him? Well, at least he was kind at least a little bit gentlecolt-like.

Hayseed helped Rarity into the gondola, and stepped in himself. He grabbed the oar and, wobbling, stood up. "Well, here we go, Miss Rarity!"

He plunged the oar into the water and began to paddle. However, he only stuck the oar into the water on the right of the boat so they were turning in circles instead of going down the river.

"You look mighty purty, Miss Rarity! Didja make the dress yourself?"

"Yes, yes I did." Rarity could only wish that this was all a mistake and her Prince Charming would appear in Turnip's place.

"I reckon all the colts you know are fallin' all over you, and you pick me to go out with!"

Rarity was listening. She was imagining her knight in shining armor rescuing her from dragons calling her beautiful, fabulous, and treating her like a lady.

"I really am honored, Miss Rarity! You're a real beautiful mare, and I'm a lucky guy!"

The gondola spun in circles faster and faster as Hayseed Turnip Truck nervously paddled harder. Rarity was shaken out of her daydreams as the boat spun.

"Slow down!" she yelled, but Turnip continued.

"I know you know all those fancy-pantsy stallions, and you coulda picked one of em'-" he rattled on.

The boat continued to spin faster and faster, until Rarity leapt up and grabbed the oar from his hoof. The boat toppled over, sending both Rarity and Turnip into the freezing water.

She gasped for air and struggled to reach the riverbank.

Turnip put his arms around her and swam as fast as he could until she was safely on land.

She sputtered for a moment and tried to catch her breath as Turnip jumped on the shore next to her.

"Are you all right, Miss Rarity? I'm so sorry, honest, I just don't know what went wrong..."

Rarity stood up and brushed herself off. Her dress was drenched and ripped, and her hair was a mess.

"Good day, Turnip," she said, walking away. "Goodbye."

"Luna promised to send a stallion you knew and liked! She promised!" Twilight paced around the library frantically.

Rarity was wrapped in a blanket in front of the purple unicorn's fireplace. "I do know him. I met him in Ponyville about a year ago." She sneezed and moaned a little.

"But he wasn't a royal gentlecolt like she told me she'd give you!" Twilight groaned. "And Applejack is next. How is she supposed to get a perfect stallion for Applejack, the hardest of all of us, if she couldn't get your stallion right? This is an absolute disaster and if we don't do something the whole town could be affected!"

"Twilight, you are overreacting. How in Equestria is the whole town going to be affected?"

"I...don't...know! But I don't want to find out!" Twilight banged her head on the library wall.

"We can't very well stop the Princess from setting up blind dates," Rarity pointed out.

The other unicorn lit up. "Rarity, you're a genius!"

"I know, darling."

Chapter Five: Applejack

"Applejack! You simply can't go on your date when you're all sweaty. Stop apple bucking and try on your dress!"

She ignored Rarity and continued hitting trees with her hind legs. "Few more trees."

Rarity frowned and, using her unicorn magic, grabbed hold of Applejack's tail and dragged her into her boutique.

"Ah just want to get a bit more work done!" Applejack struggled as Rarity began to dress her.

"You're messy enough as it is!" Rarity dressed the earth pony in a simple green dress lined in short, brown fringe. "What will your date say?"

The orange pony pulled on her cowboy boots. "If he's mah perfect match like the Princess says, he'll understand that Ah need to get mah work done."

Rarity rolled her eyes. "I doubt he'll be as perfect as that."

Applejack straightened her hat and stood up. "Is it time yet?"

The white unicorn glanced at the clock. "Good gracious, you're late. Hurry!"

Applejack ran out the door towards the Town Square, where some sort event was underway.

"You're late."

She turned around and saw a grey stallion with an expertly styled, silver mane.

"Howdy there, Hoity Toity! That's yer name, ain't it? Gosh, it's been a long time since that fashion show Rarity hosted."

He silently eyed her outfit and raised his eyebrows. "Who designed that?"

"Mah friend Rarity. She's the one who did-"

"Isn't she the same mare who designed those monstrosities she called dresses?"

"Those were the ones we helped with. We're not the best with fashion, ya know?"

Hoity Toity turned his nose up and turned around to watch whatever was behind him.

Applejack stood on her back legs to see over the heads of ponies standing in front of her.

A catwalk was set up, and several lights were shining on it. Ponies dressed in extremely strange costumes and outfits were trotting down it and posing for pictures.

"As the Princess commanded me to play the role of your date-" Hoity Toity made it sound like torture. "-I have arranged for you to star in my fashion show."

"That's mighty kind of you, but Ah would rather not."

The gray stallion whipped off his sunglasses and looked her in the eye. "I didn't say you had a choice."

Applejack grimaced, but followed him until they reached a platform behind the catwalk, hidden from the audience's view.

As soon as Applejack entered the backstage, several mates surrounded her and began applying makeup and fussing with her hair.

"This outfit simply won't do," Hoity Toity sniffed. "Put her in something else."

For the second time that day, Applejack was dressed against her will. She was put into an obnoxious chartreuse gown covered in purple and orange triangles. A hat that closely resembled a slice of Swiss cheese was placed on her head.

The moment she was dressed she was pushed onto the catwalk.

"Go! Pose!" Hoity Toity nudged her.

"Ah give in way, way too easily," she muttered as she started trotting. When she reached the end she lifted two legs in the air as a pose. Cameras flashed and ponies cheered.

Then a horrible image came to mind. She, Applejack of Sweet Apple Acres, forced to be a supermodel as her friend Fluttershy once was. She would never buck another apple, never have time for her family or friends.

She had to stop their enjoyment. The audience had to hate her as a model.

She ripped off the clothes and began to do the most annoying thing she could think of: dance. She tapped an Irish step, imitated a breakdance she saw Pinkie Pie do once, and did the only dance she truly knew, the square dance.

The ponies in the audience fell silent as Applejack danced to the music playing in the background. She even grabbed Hoity Toity and pulled him into a ballroom dance.

"What in Equestria do you think you're doing?" he growled.

"Making sure Ah never have to come back," Applejack replied.

After being whipped around and twirled, her date screamed. "Security!"

Two huge stallions in uniforms pulled Applejack away from Hoity and off the stage.

"Are you drunk?" One asked her in a rough voice.

"'Course not, sir, Ah was just embarrassing mahself so the ponies hate me as a model and Ah don't have to do it again. Ah'm sorry, honest."

"I don't blame you. If I had to wear a cheese hat, I'd do the same thing. Good luck with not becoming a model, though. Seems like the audience lived you."

Applejack looked up and saw the audience, cheering with delight. Most of them had never seen a dancer of such talent.

"Applejack! Applejack!" they chanted, screaming for more.

"Gotta dash," she said, galloping away from her new fans.

When she returned to the library, she noticed that Twilight was pouring over her books and running around frantically. There was nothing unusual about that, except for the fact that the usually calm unicorn was screaming.

"Twilight, what in the hay is going on?"

Twilight turned to her friend. "Applejack! Was it disastrous? Or really, really, really, really, really disastrous?"

"Just disastrous. What's goin' on?"

"The dates! Think about it, Applejack! If these dates go absolutely terribly horribly wrong, or if the stallions decide they still like us and want to meet us again, our entire lives will be ruined! After dates, Luna could arrange weddings! And what then? We'll be forced to have kids and go on trips with them and spend our whole lives suffering!"

"Don't ya think you're going a mite far?"

"No! It could very possibly come true! My calculations say that there's a seventy-four point six chance that it will happen if we don't do anything!"

"So...what's yer plan?"

Twilight held up a book entitled, "How to Say No to a Date in less than Five Sentences". "We just refuse!"

"We can't just refuse. The princess will be insulted."

"What's more important, her feelings or our future? Not to mention my sanity!"

Twilight continued pacing and flipping through her book while Applejack silently facehoofed. It couldn't possibly go that wrong. She was pretty sure.

Chapter Six: Rainbow Dash

"I'll just go in there, meet the guy, say a few words, and leave. It'll be done in ten seconds flat, Twi."

Twilight shook her head. "I don't think it will be that easy. Luna has picked stallions that actually liked us, and he might not let you go. And then the Princess will probably make you marry him and have kids and-"

Rainbow Dash snorted. "What's the worst he could do, propose to me? I can always say no."

The Pegasus slipped into her navy blue gown, dotted with rainbow sequins. "This'll be easier than beating Rarity in a race. All I have to do is

"Don't forget the tiara," Twilight sighed, placing a gold crown covered in colorful gems on Rainbow's head. "Now go out there and try not to impress him. If he hates you, he won't want to meet you again."

"Easy as pie." Rainbow trotted off.

Princess Luna told her that she and her date wouldn't be going anywhere, just walking around Ponyville. Couldn't get easier than that.

Rainbow Dash zoomed into the sky, ignoring her promise to Rarity about keeping her dress nice. "Where's that stallion?" she wondered out loud.

Then she saw him. She immediately knew he was her date because she knew Princess Luna wouldn't pick just any old colt for her. No, he had to be perfect, like this stallion looked.

Glistening white coat, sharp horn, stunning blue eyes, golden mane. Rainbow had never seen such an attractive stallion.

Then he looked up and saw her. Their eyes met for a split second, and Rainbow looked away, blushing.

"Mother of Celestia, he's hot," she whispered.

She landed gracefully on the ground and galloped towards him.

"Hi," she said, still blushing. "I'm Rainbow Dash, the Element of Loyalty and three-time Savior of Equestria."

One of his eyebrows rose. He didn't seem impressed. "I am Prince Blueblood."

His voice was like butter on toast. Rainbow didn't really know what that meant, but she had heard Rarity describe someone's voice like that, and it sounded nice, anyway.

"Maybe you've heard of me? I've saved the Wonderbolts, twice actually, and someponies have called me the hero of Ponyville!" She wished she had sounded more confident. Oh, if only she knew how to flirt!

"Never heard of you."

He spoke again! Rainbow Dash felt dizzy, like she was about to faint. "Should we start, um, walking?"

He began strolling around Ponyvilke Square, with Rainbow at his heels. Oh, he smelled like roses. And a waterfall.

The two wandered around silently, with Blueblood wishing for this stupid date to be over and with Rainbow daydreaming beside him.

She imagined him confessing everlasting love for her, even if he had only known her for two minutes. They would become coltfriend and marefriend, date a little bit, and then they would be married at once, since love as strong as their's couldn't just stop at dating. Then Rainbow would become a princess, and Rarity would be so jealous. And maybe Blueblood would help her get into the Wonderbolts, and they would go around fighting evil with their indestructible love for each other.

The Prince, bored out of his spoiled mind, decided to make conversation with the peasant. "Nice weather, isn't it."

She almost fainted. "Yes, it's magnificent." She paused, and added in a small voice, "Just like you."

"I know I'm amazing. Everyone does."

He was made for her. They both agree he was amazing! They had something in common!

Rainbow stopped daydreaming just long enough to notice a popcorn stand. She ran over to it and bought two containers of popcorn, not realizing that she accidentally paid ten bits instead of four.

"I bought you some popcorn," she said to the love of her life, throwing a few pieces in her mouth.

"Ugh! Common peasant food? In my royal mouth? I wouldn't dream of it."

Rainbow immediately spat out the corn and tossed the containers into a trash bin. "You know, you're right. It's gross."

They continued walking around awkwardly. Neither of them said a word.

She decided to break the silence and get his attention. "So, you're a prince?"

He nodded. "I have been called one of the most loyal to the crown of the ponies in my home, Canterlot."

Loyal? He was loyal? Sweet Celestia, they had something else in common! This was the best day of her life.

Wait a minute. His home, Canterlot? He lived all the way on the other side of Equestria where ponies were all snooty and hated Ponyvillians? He might as well live on the moon! They would have to meet in secret, somewhere between Ponyville and Canterlot. Or she could move. She was sure her friends wouldn't mind if she left because of her true love.

"I must be going," the Prince said, bored. "It has been an honor for you, having me here. Goodbye." He began walking away.

"Wait, what? You didn't confess undying live for me yet! We haven't even kissed!" Rainbow watched, aghast, as her Prince walked off. She rushed up to him and grabbed his shoulder. "I need to tell you that I have always been desperately in live with you! Tell me you love me back! Tell me!"

Blueblood was starting to feel terrified. This mare must have escaped from the Canterlot Asylum, or a circus of some sort! And she might ruin his perfectly groomed coat!

"Release me!" he screamed.

"But I love you!"

Blueblood broke free and ran as fast as he could, leaving a broken hearted Pegasus crying in the dust.

"He was perfect, Twilight! The love of my life!" The rainbow-maned mare flew up to Twilight's face, tears spilling everywhere.

"Great, another disastrous date." Twilight was almost in tears herself. "And the worst part is-"

"-I'll never see him again!" Rainbow Dash wailed.

"No!" The unicorn tugged at her mane. "The worst part is that my date is next."

"Twilight," Rainbow grabbed the other mare's face and held it close to her's. "I hope you never have to experience a heartbreak as terrible as mine."

The unicorn sighed. "We're doomed. All of us."

"Come on Twi, don't exaggerate."

Well, at least Rainbow was back to normal.

"My tragedy wasn't so bad that it would affect everypony else."

Or maybe not.