Wednesday afternoon started like any other. Nobles were met. Small tokens were offered to foreigners. The ludicrously serious business was postponed, while the seriously ludicrous business was outright rejected. Life in Canterlot offered little to complain about. It was so much so, that certain stuck-ups invented new problems just to have some conflict in a given conversation. In other words, it was a life that approached perfection.
Still, that "perfect" life didn't come without feelings of emptiness. No, it wasn't respect that was missing. She received plenty of that on a regular basis from all the ponies that looked in her general direction. What was lacking was the close bonds in which she could really connect with someone.
Granted, she certainly had one type in her little sister. She wouldn't trade that particular quality of bond for anything. But it still felt a bit discouraging when that was one of the few that actually considered her on a level playing field. Often times, she worried that her subjects were relying too heavily on her as some kind of deity. More than once, she had overheard some pony swearing on her name in worship.
Celestia slowly shook her head from her internal wandering. There would be time for that later. For now, there were bills to review and either sign or practice her wastebasket shots. Most of the latter category were written in by a certain nephew who was several-times-removed. Her talks weren't getting through to him. Perhaps there was somepony else that could convince him that imprisoning the bearer of Generosity was not of "utmost urgency".
The handle of her door jiggled in a bluish aura before the entire panel opened inward.
"Sister, do you have a spare Minutes' Keeper stone?" asked Luna. "I can't seem to find mine anywhere."
"Should be in the left bottom drawer of my nightstand," answered Celestia. She swallowed a couple gulps of her jasmine tea.
Luna went to work on magically pulling out every drawer, starting with the top left one. As she came to the second drawer from the bottom, she hummed in confusion. A little tug of her magic pulled out a folded up newspaper. The article on top had a rather unsightly picture of her sister, looking like she was caught with the cake halfway to her mouth.
"Celestia, what is this?" Luna asked, as she trotted over to Celestia's current pile of papers.
Celestia looked up and took the page in her own aura. "Oh, right, that." She chuckled. "I honestly wasn't expecting anyone to capture my snack time."
"Why do you still have this paper if it was made with such frivolous slander?" Luna raised her brow.
Celestia sighed. "It reminds me of a time when our littlest of ponies could see at least a nugget of the true me."
" 'The true you'?" echoed Luna. "What truth is there in being associated with gluttony?"
Celestia shook her head. "It's not so much the engorging with cake. It's the title."
Luna glanced at the paper, and looked back at her sister. "So that's it, then?"
Celestia nodded. "Yes, it is."
Luna still held a skeptical expression. "What about the Chuckle-Lot show?"
Celestia took a breath and exhaled. "I'd kind of like approachability to be more than just an annual experience."
For the next minute or so, Celestia continued throwing her distant-nephew's pompous suggestions into the wastebasket. She had to magically pull in the next basket because this was the fourth full basket of paper balls today. Meanwhile, Luna trotted back over to the nightstand and found the stone she was looking for in the first place.
"It still fascinates me," commented Luna. "The Minutes' Keeper stone is quite common, yet rarely utilized. It records spoken words and can be useful when the pony in charge of keeping the minutes during court loses their place."
"I'm already well aware of how it works, Little Sister," remarked Celestia as she finally found a sensible bill that she could feel comfortable about signing.
"But did you also know that when it's used with its sibling, the Image Transfer stone, it can actually share a copy of that experience with other holders of both stones?"
Celestia dipped her quill pen. "Yes, Luna. Would you like to explain how water is wet next?" She slowly sipped from her teacup.
"Actually, I was leading into a possibility regarding your desire to fit in," corrected Luna.
With her mouth currently occupied, Celestia opted to raise her brow instead of asking.
"I've heard that the common pony often sings badly in the shower. Perhaps we should record you doing the same thing and let them see it through these stones."
Celestia did a rather large spit-take. Luna found herself covered in the spray while Celestia was busy choking. Neither one of them was exactly happy with this turn of events. Celestia patted her chest with a hoof, and managed to get her breathing under control.
Luna let out a scoff of disgust. "All of this jasmine can't be healthy for you."
"Can't be any less healthy than your midnight coffee rush," gently retorted Celestia.
Luna deadpanned before levitating a towel over herself. "I am not dignifying that."
Celestia cleared her throat. "But anyway, you want me to record myself singing in the shower?"
"Not just sing," said Luna as she set the towel aside. "Sing badly."
Never had the large water stall looked so intimidating. Sing badly? Was that even possible anymore? Sure, her voice had cracked during puberty. But, that was... she didn't even know how many years ago. Mentally gulping, she shed her royal garments to the side of the bathroom. Just before entering the stall, she turned her head behind her.
"Are those things on?" asked Celestia.
"Hold on." Luna tapped both the Minutes' Keeper and Image Transfer stones with her front hooves. "Okay, you're good to go, Princess Wet-Maned Pop-Star."
"All right, then." Celestia turned frontward and slowly trotted in.
She turned the water dials to a low pressure. The moisture gently pitter-pattered all over her body. Out of habit, she magically grabbed the bottles of her standard shampoo and conditioner. She took a deep breath... and let a song tumble across her lips.
"~I am the dawn. Life is dead when light is gone.~"
Lather shined in white across her mane. Her voice echoed through the bathroom. It sounded like a wondrous chorus of angels had joined her. A bit of steam highlighted the gorgeous mare standing in the eyes of the stone holder.
"~They say that we are weak. But that is false. To glory.~"
Luna's jaw dropped. She knew she had heard her sister sing before. But this... this was pristine. She sighed at the long bit of work she had ahead of her to try and un-teach Celestia how to sing for the sake of getting closer to everypony else.
"Sister, stop," Luna insisted.
"Huh?" Celestia turned her head just as the suds left her mane.
"I've got a couple of suggestions for songs outside of your comfort zone."
---{Five minutes later}
Celestia had her eyes closed, and she was smiling. She slowly waved her mane with each completed line. She even started stamping around in circles to an imaginary beat.
"~Am I original?~"
Yeeeeeeah
"~Am I the only one?~"
Yeeeeeeah
"~Am I sexual?~"
She deliberately wagged her tail to the syllables of that word.
"~Am I everything you need? You'd better rock that body-YAAAH!"
Upon opening her eyes for the last line, Celestia found herself on the receiving stare of an unexpected visitor. It was one of the leather-winged pegasi personally assigned to Luna's Guard. Though his armor was currently off, Celestia could still recognize those particular eyes.
"Faith Shield, what are you doing here?" Celestia blurted out.
"Er, I..." Faith Shield scratched the back of his neck. "I heard you singing in here and thought that particular song could use a little backup." He chuckled nervously before his ears drooped. "I'm sorry." He turned around and prepared to trot out of the bathroom.
"Faith!"
His hooves stopped moving as he turned his head back. "Yes, Princess?"
She smiled gently. "I didn't say, 'Stop'."
Somehow, his grin made a delighted squeal. He wandered back in to stand underneath the sprinkling water next to her. Meanwhile, she tapped her hoof like a metronome.
"And five, six, seven... ~Macaroni~"
"Yeeeeeeah"
"~And bologna~"
"Yeeeeeeah"
"~Everypony, rock your body right~"
They put a hoof over each other's shoulder and sang the next line together.
"~Maple Street's alright!~"
In short, that is how Pinkie Pie got her cutie mark.
Author's Note
Well, I can't write a good Celestia story. However, I can write things that are only funny to certain people. Hopefully, that niche audience was satisfied.
