The Dense Nature of Relationshipsby Low OctaveChaptersFlattery of a Prey Mantis Rule Three (Rainbow Dash)Ignorance is BlissThat's First Degree Assault Flattery of a Prey Mantis Flattery of a Prey Mantis ‘Oh sleep, why must you elude me when I need you the most’ Walking to the school house at seven in the morning isn’t my most favorite part of the day. Still it has it’s peace about it, at least I’m able to get from point A to point B without any idle banter. One can only take so much of Lyra’s fanatical conspiracies or Pinkie Pie’s equally fanatical… Well everything. I swear I catch the both of them at the same time, I’ll probably have a heart attack on the spot or at least start foaming at the mouth. No matter, it’s quiet now and Celestia’s sun is just getting ready to rise. I’ve always liked to watch the sunrise in the morning, especially from right across the market where it’s the most beautiful. I can’t help but to take a moment to admire the sight. Trotting through the market, I can hear a lot more bustling than usual for this time in the morning. Yea, every now and then there's the occasional vendor setting up early to beat the competition. I couldn’t place it, but I knew I would curse my curiosity. Turning the corner to reveal the entirety of the market, I tense up at what I see. Big Mac and Fluttershy both setting up the Apple stall while exchanging small talk. Mentally cursing myself to Tartarus for the fact I thought I had supposedly buried that fear of crossing those two already to only find out I was sorely mistaken. There's no way I can cross them, maybe I can scale a building or something. My fears would be realized instantly, because in the middle of their unpacking an apple fell off Big Mac’s large cart and rolled in my general direction. Even though it was no where near me, it was still enough for the two lovebirds to divert their attention right in my direction. Catching me standing there stock still like I was turned to stone by a Cockatress. The direct eye contact was unbearable and I couldn’t tell if the two of them were none the wiser about my problem. It was now or never, letting out an internal sigh I put on my best face for the hundredth time and walked right in their direction. ‘So far so good. Right hoof, Left hoof… Great I haven’t forgotten how to walk. Ha, take that fears! No pony can stop this strong and independent mare… NO, WAIT!” My internal motivational speech was instantly halted by the fact that I complete ignored that BLASTED apple on the ground. It took nothing but a second for my front left hoof to roll right off the thing causing my face to connect with the oh so loving ground with a sickening thud. Amazingly I was spared a visit to Minuettes office this week, however I managed to catch mouth full of dirt. “Oh my… A-are you ok?!” sigh, even her trying to sound all shock and frantic comes out cute. “...” “Cherilee?” Oh not you to now. Haven’t you put me through enough you big red heartbreaker! “...” BWAHAAAHAA! You have got to be kidding me, there was no way that SHE saw that to! Still sprawled out on the dirt road I turn my attention to the sky to see exactly what I had expected… The same hotshot cyan pegasus that left me bewildered in my classroom last week. Now she’s sitting up there laughing her flank off after watching me eat the road. “Rainbow Dash! That’s not nice at all…” Fluttershy cutely scolded. “Enope.” Just as before, Rainbow Dash was lounging on a floating cloud that was suspiciously right in my general area. Either way it goes, it’s strange that she would be up this early in the morning. I mean I don’t know her all that well, but I do know that she isn’t well known for being the early bird. Now I knew this couldn’t get any worse… For me at least. “Oh there you are Rainbow, are you up early to apologize to those fillies?” I say nonchalantly trying my best to dust the dirt off my coat. Rainbow Dash’s devious smile was instantly wiped clean as soon as those words left my mouth. In effect she turned back around and chose to ignore me while utop of her protective cloud. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that was the same exact cloud from the other day. Then again all cloud look the same anyway, wait, why am I worried about clouds? “If your not here to apologize, then why the hay are you here?” I’ll continue to prod her until I get an answer. And it looks like I won’t have to prod for much longer either, because I can see her shifting uncomfortably on her cloud. “Yes Rainbow… Why ARE you here?” Whoa, why does Fluttershy of all ponies sound offended now? I turn towards the disgustingly cute couple to see them both wearing a eerily concerned look. Now it’s obvious I’m in the middle of something. Something I’ll take my time to creep out off to avoid any unnecessary backlash. Celestia know’s I don’t need to get in the middle of anything else, especially after that Lyra situation. Bon Bon wouldn’t look at me for weeks, then it took her another month to talk to me. So lesson learn, now let me make like a magician and disappear. A few hours later… Give or take I shouldn’t have promised that Rainbow Dash would apologize after I contacted Filthy Rich and Iron Spoon to resolves this. It was obvious that the rainbow maned dunderhead wasn’t going to show and now I’m in a fine spot here… My thoughts was instantly derailed as Filthy coughed in his hoof to collect my attention, no matter how prideful I am, I honestly need to give him my undivided attention for many reason. One big on is that he is the main source of my income, so yea, no drifting off into lala land. “Miss Cheerilee, we did not take precious time out of our schedule just to sit here in silence.” A rather miffed Iron Spoon spoke up, breaking the silence. The deep bass in his voice was enough to make me flinch internally, I’d never would have thought a pony could have a voice deeper than Big Mac’s. Regaining my internal composition was no easy feat considering the pony that I had promised to show up has yet to be seen. Despite her appearance this morning, no pony had been able to track the mare, not even hyperactive time bomb Pinkie, which is bad. “Eh…” SMOOTH MOVE! “Eh?!” Filthy chimed in, clearly at the end of his wit as well with this foolishness. “Our daughters deserve an apology not only from you, but also that Pegasus as well…” He said while motioning to the two sickeningly innocent looking filles. “So where is she.” “Meh,” That’s it, I give up… Bye bye job. “You know what, I’m done. The both of you can take your bratty kids home because that featherbrained simpleton isn’t gonna show up and I could care less.” Getting up from my desk without another word, I was going to go home and well I don’t know and I don’t care. Trotting proudly to the door, finally feeling as though I one upped somepony I confidently swing the schoolhouse door open to only be frozen in place. Right in front of the door stood Rainbow Dash covered in sweat and something else. From closer inspection it looked as though she had flown a thousand miles and back again. Her eyes were nearly hazed over with fatigue as my were filling with uncontrollable rage at the sight of the moron. Everything I just did was now proven to be pointless because if I would have waited for at least another second I wouldn’t have one less job. The exhausted pegasus muttered something incoherent under her breath before looking up at me with one of her ‘so called’ patinated grins. “Hey there pretty lady… H- Hic Has anypony told you, told you that you have pretty eyes…” HOLY CRAP SHE’S DRUNK!!! “Whoa… Are you guess those two things parents… HAHAHA, ya look s-s-stupid!” “EXCUSE ME!” Iron Spoon spat. “You heard me big guy… Do you want a piece of this huh?” Rainbow slurred trotting ever so lightly past my frozen form, swaying her hips every step of the way to the disgusted stallions. “Because I-I’ll chew your heads off!” ‘That made no sense’... Wait, she’s drunk. Waking up from my frozen stupor I gallop in between the stallions and the drunk mare attempting to salvage whatever I can. Although I’m pretty sure my career and reputation in Ponyville is tarnished for good. No matter, I still had to try, as soon as Rainbow saw me in front of the two stallions she raised a single eyebrow at me. She tried one time to move me out the way, but I wouldn’t budge, after all I am still an Earth pony and I do spend a little time working out. That however got Rainbow to chuckle oddly after laying her hoofs on my coat. “That’s one of the reasons I like mares ya know, their coats are always softer… It’s like your first time exper-experiment..ing with a cloud pillow.” Rainbow chirped, making kissy faces to no pony in particular. ‘What? wait… Am I blushing!’ Whatever was the reason, it was enough for the drunken Pegasus to weasel her way around me to look murderously at the two surprisingly quiet fillies and their parents. ‘My… life… is… over...’ “THAT’S IT! I’ll have no more of this, Cherilee I’ll make sure you’ll never see another school house again and YOU! You just better be lucky that you're under the princesses protection, otherwise I’d have you locked up for the longest time imaginable!” Filthy indignantly yelled at the both of us, ignoring the daggers that were protruding from Rainbows eyes. Her drunken stupor however was briefly disturbed after she translated what the brown stallion said. Suddenly her magenta eyes grew somewhat softer after she turned her head to look at me with my ears splayed sitting in the corner like a punished filly. I don’t have the slightest clue on what’s going through that cyan psychopaths head and I really don’t want to find out. It can’t get any worse for the poor unemployed school teacher can it? Or maybe it can, I could see the two parents motion for their children to leave the classroom as the both of them stood to face Rainbow Dash. No, there was no way this was going to turn into a fight. Please let this all be a figment of my distorted imagination once again. I need to defuse this… Actually I need to get out of here, hopefully they will tear each other into shreds and they won’t remember none of it, because I know that pegasus won’t. “Hey hic Filthy, Ya know I wonder what good ol’ Princess Twi would think about you bribing the w-weather office for-” Rainbow found herself harshly sushed by the straight laced stallion. A small evil grin grew on the Pegasus as she knew her attempts at blackmail hit the spot. “Now there's no need for games to be played Ms.Dash…” “ALL I WANT IS A BUCKING APOLOGY!” Iron spoon bellowed, turning towards Filthy and Dash, completely unconcerned about their conversation. “Well I’m sorry… I’m sorry that you are such a LAME dad that your bratty kid is being raise to be well a good for nothing, self centered, evil lacky to that equally good for nothing, self absorbed sore in the flank!” Rainbow Spat, quickly hitting a strong chord in the large grey stallion. The insult to him and his daughter was enough for him to kick his chair back and step angrily towards the drunk confident mare. Standing a good foot over the rainbowed trouble maker, Iron Spoon gave the mare what I would think was one last chance to take everything she said back. ‘Pff, good luck buddy’ “Hit me with you-your best shot!” she spat with that same toothy grin. Just before I or Filthy could interject, Irons right hoof craned back for a hook that would put a professional boxer to shame. But what caught me was the fact that Rainbow’s eyes were actually focused for that one moment… She clearly saw it coming, yet she wasn’t even raising a hoof to block it, let alone dodge it. In the solid second of confusion I was face with, Rainbow had her face connect with the stallions hoof and all I could hear was a dull smack. Everypony was quiet, Iron Spoon was still fuming and Filthy was taken back at the horror of the implications they could be facing. However Rainbow Dash was still standing and still looking directly into the stallions deep grey eyes. “Ya know, if I wasn’t plastered right now I would have felt that…” She chuckled lightly, wiping a stream of blood that came down her snout. “Iron you IDIOT, you just…” Filthy sputter. “Oh buck it, we have to go, NOW!” After Rich spoke, Iron’s rage subsided for him to take in the entirety of what he just did. Not only did he just hit a mare, he also hit one of the princesses closest friends. There wasn’t much else to say, besides that if Rainbow ever opened her mouth about what happened here there would be a lot of trouble for every party. ‘excluding me’ “Hey don’t l-look like that, ya throw a wicked hook. Buuut, lets call it even if ya catch m-my drift. No pony goes to jail and no pony gets fired.” “EH?!” There was no way Rainbow planed all that out and while drunk! Both stallions looked at each other with weary expression plastered on the both of their faces. They knew they just killed any case they had against the pegasus and myself for that matter. Silently nodding to each other, the both of them exited the room without another word or glance in our direction. I highly doubt that situation is over, but I’ll take what I can get and if that means another week or two with a check in the mail than so be it. My attention however was brought back to the once again stumbling Pegasus. I have no idea how she was able to pull herself together to play that little charade, but it’s over now. “RAINBOW DASH!” “Hey, hey hey, I-I’m right here ya know…” “You need to-” I couldn’t even finish my scolding before Rainbow spawned a hoof in my mouth. “Yea, I get it ok. Everypony is yelling at me to get over it ya know… But it’s hard alright, I’ve known her since flight school and I always had a crush on her!” Rainbow spoke, sullying her drunken mood. I had no idea what she was talking about, because it clearly had nothing to do with what I was getting ready to yell at her for. “See, here is the hard part of being a fillyfoaler. Ya almost never know if the mare ya like swings that way unless they tell you… Annnd she told me she didn’t after I asked, So yea my heart or what was left of it was crushed! Even after all that time, I still had it! It never went away and it really does hurt to see her make kissy faces with that big guy!” Whoa, she’s talking about Fluttershy! Rainbow had a crush on that shy mare, but she didn’t return the feelings. Talking about a tough pill to swallow, and that must have been why they all looked tense in the morning when she came around. I thought I had the worst of it, but she went for it and got shot down, just to only get burned a little more when her crush started dating that big old heart breaker. So it all make sense now, the hug from last week and her suspicious placement of clouds in the morning. Looking up at the broken Pegasus I could see a tear restraining itself from falling down her cheeks. Shes a good one, because I would have already been a ball of unsalvageable misery by now. Maybe I should listen to lyra and open up to somepony for a change. Besides that minty unicorn I have little to no real friends and all my old friends from my days in Manehatten are long since gone. I can still remember Octavia and me hitting broadway and she would always go on about being a famous cellist and I would drone on about being a college professor… Heh, at least she got what she wanted and me… “Hey booze breath, your not flying home like that are you?” “Wha, ya think ya can fly better than me huh?” Oh the humor in drunk responses, she is missing the obvious fact that I’m an earth pony. Still might as well make the most of this. “You may be the fastest Pegasus in all of Equestria, but I’m the fastest Earth Pony in the entire world!” I boastfully lied. “OH YOU ARE ON!” Rainbow triumphantly roared as she spreaded her wings and shot like a bullet. Not out the window though, instead she veered right and rammed right into my desk head first. Hitting the ground like a sack of apples, I would have thought she just killed herself if it wasn’t for the abhorred snores that started to escape her muzzle. Well she isn’t dead, but she is dead weight. There was no way she would be able to get home now, let alone wake up. With no other options I lazily trotted over to her sleeping form just to take in her distorted figure one last time before I shoveled her up with my muzzle to throw her on my back. It was an understatement to say I haven’t lifted anypony in a long while. Luckily for me Rainbow was a Pegasus and a extremely light Pegasus at that, still I could feel a little strain on back as she tried to get comfortable lying over me. ‘Well Cherilee I hope you know what you're doing taking a drunk mare home with you…’ “Nope!” Author's Note Ok ok... All this time I've been spelling school horses name wrong! Oh well, I'm committed to my mistakes, so Cheerilee is now Cherilee. Rule Three (Rainbow Dash)Rule one, don’t go floating around your crush and not expect pain to ensue. Rule two, don’t go floating around a bar and not expect drinking to ensue and last but not least good old rule three… Wait, what was rule three and why does it feel like I’m laying on something extremely uncomfortable? Tearing open my eyes, I immediately regain the extent of all my senses to find myself wrapped up in some abomination on top of a pile of rocks. That was what I thought until my hangover kicked me in the back of my head causing me to feel around once more to find out I’m just laying in a really uncomfortable bed. It was obviously not my cloud bed and there was no way I made it back home after… whatever I did yesterday. Why does my face feel sore, I don’t remember hangovers doing that to me. Enough with the questions, it’s time for answers. Trying to untangle myself from the mess of covers proved harder than I thought, a hoof here and a wing there. I was still stuck, actually it felt like I was now even deeper in the sheets. There was no way Rainbow Dash was about to be ousted by some lousy covers, giving it my all this time I extend my wings to the fullest. Successfully blasting the sheets right off of me along with something else that was laying beside me and it wasn’t no pillow because it hit the ground with a loud yelp. Worried was an understatement, there were only so many ways this could turn out. I mean I was drunk and I was most likely loud… I’m always loud and then BAM, Rainbow Dash gets laid like some two bit hussy! I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE! “Who, WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED!” Screamed a very familiar voice from the floor. My instinct to fly out the nearest window overridden by the fact I knew that voice, I look over the end of the bed to see a very not happy looking Cherilee rubbing the top of her head. “Aww, come on… Don’t tell me I banged you of all ponies!” Honestly, I would have at least thought Cloudkicker would capitalize on me. But Cherilee, I was so drunk that the Ponyville school teacher got me in bed… “Rainbow… Dash…” “Y-yea?” “Get out of my bed before I buck you out of it.” Whoa, who knew she could sound that scary. Shes almost as bad as Rarity when someone messes up her hair or something. “Hey, ya have already done that once. You must really want some of this don’t ya?” Oh, smooth move dash… Now you're really gonna die! I regret nothing! Raising my hooves to protect my awesome face I couldn’t help but to flinch slightly at the mere thought of her bucking me clear across the room. After waiting for a couple of seconds I was unsure if she wasn’t going to kick me or was she just waiting for me to drop my guard. Either way I knew something was going to happen because looking past my hooves I could see her let out a silent sigh and walk completely around the bed. Swiveling my head to see where she was going, I noticed the assorted knick knacks and portraits littering her what I assume to be her room. That slight distraction was enough for the strange purple mare to disappear through the threshold of her door… Leaving me alone in her room… Ok Dash, you were drunk and you're in Cherilee's room. But it doesn’t seem like you were taken advantage of… Maybe she was just trying to help or something, because I kinda do remember talking to her yesterday. So just play it cool and don’t do anything stupid, also remember to ask her if she has any hangover pills… MY HEAD IS KILLING ME! Taking another moment to look around the small room once again. It was obvious she had a thing for apples or what looked like apples. Leaning off the bed slightly I look at the bronze covered statues that resemble apples and all of them read just about the same thing. They were some type of teachers award or something and it seemed like Cherilee took home the prize every year. Although I can’t think of many other teachers in the area, Lyra use to teach music. But that ended soon after Pinkie joined and they nearly started a war between the Breezies and the Griffins. Bringing my mind back from that traumatic experience that required weeks of endless diplomacy, I quickly notice a small overturned picture frame on her night stand. It was almost like it wasn’t suppose to be their, but it couldn’t be removed from the spot. Grr, looking towards the door to make sure she wouldn’t catch me snooping around, I whipped right back to the picture and snatched it up. However I wished that I hadn’t because it was a grave reminder of what got me here in the first place. In the frame was a picture of Applejacks big red brother and Cherilee from when they were still poisoned or something to that effect… At least I think? Still no matter what I thought about that, I couldn’t stop myself from remembering everything that transpired yesterday. It all hit me like a freight train, I couldn’t even keep my wings down simply because the apprehension just caught me in a nose. I’m in the same house of the pony that I just spilled my guts to! Scrambling off the bed as if the fear of Luna was struck into me, I leap towards the window and start fiddling with the lock. “Stupid hooves!” Frustrated I couldn’t even manage to pry open a simple lock. Getting even more antsy and impatient I decided that collateral damage would be the least of my worries. Backing up with my wings spread wide, I give one of my signature Rainbow Dash assured grins. Starting at the window I try to accelerate straight through it… Until her voice caught me completely off guard and in the middle of the act. With my concentration completely shattered I flop forward and fall in a heap doing my best not to re enact her display from yesterday morning. “Please, tell me you weren’t getting ready to fly through my window…” Cherilee dead-panned. “No” Obvious lies are obvious “Right… Well I would… I would like to talk to you downstairs for a minute.” She wasn’t really asking, she was kinda demanding in a teacher sort of way that sent chills down my spin. Well even I have to know when to pick my battles, truthfully this was long waiting. Walking away from the windowsill in defeat I follow in line behind the purple mare. Still my curiosity was peaked as we walked down the hallway I could see a barely open door and once we passed it I couldn’t help but to peak in. Within the semi closed door I could see what looked like worn out gym equipment, which was odd enough within itself if it wasn't also for the dangerous amounts of books that littered everything in the room. Cherilee working out was a strange thing to image, I’ve never would have pinned her for the physical type. Facing forward, I glance quickly at her flanks to see if there were any tone or definition to them. Hmm, not bad… But mines are better though. It didn’t even occur to me to glance up and check to see if I was going to get caught in the act. However it seemed like I was stuck in a loop, with each step she took my eyes followed her natural sway. I didn’t even notice the fact that she most likely had turned her head to check on my moments ago while I was completely entranced. As I looked up I could see green eyes narrowed on my guilty form... Caught in the act, I thought I was better than that. Releasing a deep sigh, one I hear from her all too often she was getting ready to either yell at me to leave or say something along the lines of she doesn't swing that way. So before I could even say ‘see, what had happen was…” There were three rather light taps on her front door, which completely surprised me because I didn't even realize we were in her living room. Cherilee’s attention was luckily, temporarily broken from me for the moment as she turned with what looked like a unbelievable expression plastered on her face. “Don’t get too many visitors huh?” I shamelessly say, not giving a hay anymore if I dug myself in a even deeper pit. “Hush you!” She turned towards me only for that second to make her point for me to stay quiet. Trotting to the door, Cherilee fumbles with the handle for a second… Hooves and all. But after she managed to unlock the door and swing it open ever so lightly my wings sprung wide open at who I saw. “WHOA, you're that big violin chick! your music is AWESOME!” I know my eyes weren't deceiving me, I mean not everypony may know. But I loved that classical stuff ever since that fru fru mare Rarity was playing it the entire time I was stuck in her shop. I’ve even slipped out to go to a concert here and there and passed it off as me going to a Wonderbolts performance. Now here is one of the biggest names in the game right here in front of this mares house, I mean she is like the me of music… That one Dj pony is totally overrated. However as soon as I looked around I noticed my avid enthusiasm wasn’t nearly as shared. Cherilee looked beyond stupid as I swear her brain just stopped after laying eyes on the gray earth pony mare. I couldn't help to notice the giant case strapped to her back also, I mean jeez I knew earth ponies were strong, but that’s just crazy. The thing is nearly the size of here and I bet it weighs just as much to. “Hello Cherilee, long time no see… Would you care to introduce me to your interesting friend here.” The gray mare questions with a general interest as she did her best to put a little bit in between me and herself. “F-friend?!” Cherilee sputtered. "My name is RAINBOW DASH!" I say enthusiastically pushing past the stunned mare. Author's Note If anybody can figure out what rule three was I will give ya a internet cookie and a follow... Ignorance is BlissThe world has been conspiring against me these past few days. First I get this Pegasus, shes been acting stranger than I have these past few days as well and I just want to get to the bottom of it. Now I got my old friend from College standing in my front door, who by now is a world famous musician. There really is no normal in this town is it, might as well let her in and see how all this plays out. But I doubt anything will swing in my divine favor... As I step to the side to motion my friend Octavia into my home, I sigh internally when I glance at Rainbow to see her getting ready to go into full blown fan girl mode. Her reactions to things of late has been less than predictable, I mean she’s been acting like an actual pony instead of some puffed up hero. Maybe it’s just an act she puts on for the fillies and colts or something. I’ve never actually seen how she acts around her friends after all, so I should cut her some slack. ‘Still that won’t stop me from interrogating her about how she ended up in my bed!’ With Octavia finding a comfy enough recliner, she sat her cello heavily down beside her, Making it painfully obvious how heavy that thing was. The proper mare never would be caught dead without her bow tie neither, because she was brushing it off as soon as she sat down. I could never get her to take that off back in the day, actually I don’t even know if she has only one, It would make sense to own multiple considering it’s her preferred attire. Still not that many ponies wear cloths that often, unless of course they were Canterlot types. So I guess it does make a little sense that she would wear that thing now, but it will never grow on me though. PLOP! I nearly rose about a foot into the air after that chaotic Pegasus dive bombed right into the spot next to me on the couch. After coming back down mere inches from the cause of my distress, I gave her a predatory glare that meant that our little conversation from before was far from over. Sensing what I was thinking she shrunk back slightly into the couch itself, attempting some feeble form of camouflage. Turning back to Octavia, who was sitting directly opposite of the both of us, I noticed instantly her weird grin she was shooting in our direction, that alone was enough for me to look slightly uncomfortable as well. “Well I can see you’ve been doing good.” What was she hinting at… “I suppose… But if I may ask, what are you doing in Ponyville Octavia?” Always start with the simple questions. “Oh, why you know has just the best market for cello strings.” Octavia said in code. Why would I expect anything different, I swear I’ll never get a straight forward answer till I die! Apparently feeling my frustration seeping from my stressed form, she let out a little giggle. “Cherilee dear, Please.” Sigh “I’m sorry, but things haven’t exactly been a walk in the park of lately…” I dangerously eye one of the culprits, who was still trying to meld with the couch after another accusatory glare. “But lets not get caught up in that, how have you been and why didn’t you tell me ahead of time… I could have been more prepared for you.” “Oh, I thought I sent a letter through the mail last week saying that I would be coming to visit?” Octavia responded, raising a brow. About a week ago “Hey, Big Mac… Do ya know any Octavias?” A curious apple farmer asks while shifting through their mail. “Eenope!” The stallion in questions yells down from the upper levels of their home. Shrugging her shoulders, the farmer crumpled up the paper and shot it into a garbage bin. Immediately returning to her daily chores. Right back to where we were “Derpy…” Both me and Rainbow Dash say simultaneously. “Who?” my old friend asks, clearly not informed on our interesting mailmare. So my old friend was planning on paying me a visit and I didn’t even know. I guess I was lucky that I was even home today, if it wasn’t for Rainbow I’d probably be out trying to keep myself busy right now. I really want to open up to her about all my problems, but I still got said Rainbow Dash sitting right next to me… Being oddly quiet… too quiet! Turning my head to face her, I was greeted with empty space. Franticly looking everywhere I catch sight of a rainbow tail flicking from behind my table, right next to Octavia. Looking around the table, I catch the mare read hoofed trying to play with her cello. “RAINBOW DASH!” I yell. Upon hearing her name booming throughout the room she released a startled yelp and flew up into the ceiling before another word could be spoken. I was hoping Octavia wouldn’t be as furious as I was and gladly she wasn’t. Instead of choking down anger like I was, she was chuckling lightly at what must have been a hilarious display for her. However it was far from it for me, the last thing I need is to be completely embarrassed in front of my oldest and honestly only real friend in ages. I’m about ready to kick Rainbow out of my house and say forget about it. Yet after all that has happened, I’m still curious about a couple of things. Ugh, my stupid curiosity... “Cherilee, darling it’s not like she could do any real damage to it.” Octavia said dismissively, while settling better into her chair. “Yea see… Not cool Cher!” Rainbow retorted, obviously feeling empowered with my friend on her side. “Fine!” I say, admitting defeat and raising my hoofs in the air in a mock surrender. This time both mares let out a fit of giggles… I don’t remember Octavia being so childish. I swear there use to be a rod stuck so far up her rear end you would have mistaken her for the school flag post. Now she seems so relaxed and carefree, what or who has gotten into her. Cause now I’m the one sitting here looking like a complete stiff. “Soo Rainbow Dash is it, You like my music?” My friend asked Rainbow a well placed question. “Umm, almost as much as I like flying… Almost!” She responded defensively, almost as if she was slipping up. Giggling a little more, like a school filly. Octavias questions continued, leaving me and her little time to actually talk or catch up. She seemed more interested with Rainbow Dash, constantly asking her questions like… How long have you known Cherilee and subtle things like have she been over my house before. I don’t know what game they are playing, because all Rainbow keeps doing is giving some half wit answers as well to couple up with her questions. Every now and then the conversation would be steered back to me, but only for a second. Sitting back on my couch, I was resting my head on my hoof until the conversation was thrown back my way. This time though I was unprepared, because they were trying to ask me something and I wasn’t paying the slightest attention until Rainbow was waving a hoof in my face. Being roused from my trance like state again, I finally realized they were asking me a question. “So, Cher…” Why did she put such an emphasis on my nickname. Wait, when did that become my nickname? “What do you think about Rainbow Dash. Stupid question! “Um, shes a hoofful at times and she can be a little erratic at worse. But in the end I think she means well…” That’s true to a degree, I still haven’t forgotten about Scootaloo’s paper. She’s been nothing short of an inspiration for a lot of those kids. Not to mention she saved my job… That she almost lost me. “Great, so it’s settled!” Octavia said cheerfully. The both of me and Rainbow Dash tilted our heads at her little display as she unlocked her cello case and reached inside of it. She quickly resurfaced with two white tickets in her hand and hoofed the both of us one of them. Rainbow looked speechless, as if somepony had just said she was a part of the Wonderbolts now, me I looked generally confused until I looked closer at the small ticket. “Tickets to one of your concerts?” “Yes darling, I’m going to be playing outside of Ponyville in two days! That’s why I’m here early, I wanted you to attend and then afterwards we could spend more time together.” She said, clopping her hoofs at the prospect. “So why did you give her a ticket?” I say, pointing a hoof at Rainbow Dash. Who in response clutched her ticket for dear life as if it would have turned to ashes before my hoof. “Now you know I wouldn’t dare give you a ticket and leave your friend here without one.” I don’t see, nor do I care about what she is playing at. This is exactly the outing I need, something to relax my mind and get me out of the house at the same time. Added bonus I now get to catch up with an old friend, so I guess Rainbow can hit the back burner for a while… I mean if all goes well I won’t even need to interrogate her, after all she did get a ticket. So we should all be busy and occupied. Giving my first sincere smile since Celestia knows when, It was enough to cause Rainbow to begin questioning the situation considering I haven’t really smiled since I’ve talked to her. After catching up a little more with Octavia, I finally was able to shove Dash out of my house. Her constant questioning and such was getting on my nerves, one can only take so much of the famed Fangirl Dash… But with her gone I was able to really start talking to my friend on a personal level, rather than beating around the bush. “Let me tell you, this job in Ponyville has just been tiring. I honestly like the kids, seriously I do… But I don’t have much help around the School house and nopony else can legally teach since Lyra lost her licence.” “Why don’t you finally put your major to use dear, I mean we didn’t go to college for nothing now did we?” “My MAJOR!” The absolute biggest waste of my time, there was no way I was going to get a job in Equestria with that. “Well I think their is somepony out their who could use a graduate of Arcanic Studies.” The proper mare spoke with all seriousness. “Octavia… I’m an Earth Pony, who in their right mind would hire me to teach or be involved with anything that might involve magic! I still remember, the only reason I took the class was because I wanted to be rebellious and such.” There was no way I was in my right mind at the time, I swear they only let me graduate just to humor some of the senior staff. “You know how long we’ve been friends and I’ll help you anyway I can. But my best advice is to do what your heart tells you, that’s what I’ve done and I’ve haven’t been happier in such a long time.” She responds, clearly reminiscing about something. “Well then, tell me your secret?” Might as well play along. She leaned in close and whispered. “Special... Somepony.” “I’ve already told you what happened with Bi-” “Marefriend…” The rest of my sentence was caught in my throat, I mean there was no way she was implying. Looking deep into Octavia’s purple eyes I immediately realized she was totally implying what I thought she was. Opening and closing my mouth I just sit back on my couch, caught in the elaborate trap she had just set for me. To think neither me or Rainbow Dash was none the wiser… Ignorance is bliss Author's Note Oct F#$%ing tavia! I really don't know how I wanted her to sound, seriously... I never even watched Equestria Girls two or whatever to hear her speaking for the first time. My next chapt is already a whooping 5,000 words... I might chop it into two if I keep it progressing at the rate I'm typing, either way the next two will be the fun ones! That's First Degree Assault That's First Degree Assault I’ve dedicated my life to the enrichment of young minds, so that they can go on in the future to live fulfilling and meaningful lives. At least that’s what I keep telling myself after all. Still my confidence in that mantra continuously gets bulldozed by the fact that my students are about as interested in my learning plan as they are the chewed gum under their desks. Not to mention my little personal problem that has also grew from the seeds of this torture chamber they call a school. You’d think moving out of Manehatten to live in a backwater town would have it’s peace and subtleties… WRONG! It almost seems like ever since Princess Book Face moved to town everything that is anything that could possibly crawl out of Tartarus ends up here. I mean I’d hate to question Princess Celestias national security plans, but it always seem like she just sits back and roll the dice. Honestly I heard the one time she actually did anything she got mopped up by some bug queen. Then here comes Princess Book Face blowing up mountains and shooting lasers, I mean the whole shi-bang against some monster guy. However I think the greatest threat to Equestria, no… The greatest threat to my sanity sits right before me. Three little fillies known as the Cutie Mark whatevers. Their little idiotic butt mark adventures always end up disastrous and sticky. I swear I have never seen so much tree sap in my life, I honestly don’t know where they find it all. But those creatures are the instrument of my demise, those three little innocent looking CREATURES! If it wasn’t for them poisoning me during Hearts and Hooves day I would have never fell in love. I could have pressed charges, but I have a reputation in this small town for being the nice quiet school teacher. So I had to play some have you girls learned your lesson type crap.... Sigh Looking up at the clock I realized that I’ve blown almost fifteen minutes staring a hole into my grade book. That caused a chain reaction in my mind. First I was suppose to be collecting the kids math homework, secondly I could hear the frantic scribbling on paper from a couple fillies and colts meaning that they were obviously trying to finish their homework in class, thirdly I’m suppose to conduct show and tell before class lets out because it’s friday. Getting up from my desk while emitting a low groan I immediately switch into my happy go lucky teacher mode. I give all my students a warm smile, even the ones who are trying to hide the passing of papers and the cheating of notes. This effectively causes them all to look up somewhat sheepishly. I instantly got the message. “Ok students, since it seems like not everypony has finished their homework. I’ll give you all the weekend to work on it, so please try to bring it in complete monday.” Putting on my best face I look over the small group of children to only see three hooves to go up as soon as I looked in their direction. “Sweetie, Silver, and Feather. You three can turn in your homework now and I’ll throw in extra credit since you all decided to take initiative.” That caused a few of the runts to grumble in protest to their hard work. Still I don’t understand why those kids get upset, because this happens almost every week. Now since after my little personal situation, I really don’t care if they finish their work or not. But for those who do, I’ll be sure to reward them properly. However that brings up one issue for me, how can Sweetie Belle be so intelligent in class, but end up partaking in the stupidest featherbrained schemes possible. Honestly I think it’s those other two… There is no way Apple Bloom and Scootaloo are good influences, well Apple Bloom has a good head on her every now and then. Yet Scootaloo comes off as a loose cannon, it’s almost like comparing her to that Rainbow Dash… Bringing all three of them together however is the worst possible combination in pony history. They’ve almost completely destroyed my mind with a love potion for celestias sake and even after coming back. I still could never separate my true feelings for Big Mac… He seriously didn’t show any hints of attraction to me, still we did go out once, or was that seriously pretend. I couldn’t have actually developed feelings after the fact could I, NO MATTER! “Well since were not collecting homework, we might as well move on to show and tell since it’s the end the day. So who wants to go first.” “OH, OH, OH!” Ponyfeathers, not Scootaloo. Every week we go through the motions of some insanely unreasonable stunt. That often times ended up with us all covered in sap and ending class early. Even I wasn’t the only one worried, I could hear the chorus of groans and grumbles from my students. Yet no pony would step up to challenge Scootaloo for the first to present. Well, Might as well get it over with. I’ll run a warm bath when I go home. I made the hoof motion for Scootaloo to step up and present. I knew better than to give that orange filly a verbal agreement because it could turn sappy in a second and I want to be able to pull her to the corner before it goes that far. At the motion of my hoof, the little orange filly beamed a unorthodox smile. One that made me shift slightly from the spot I was standing. ‘She’s planning something’ Jumping up out of her set she galloped to the door to motion everypony out the classroom. “Ok everypony for this week I got something extra special planned!” “Oh no…” Me and a couple of other students whispered in unison. “What are you going to do blanky, fail at flying again.” That little brat Diamond Tiara rang out with her little crony right beside her. Blanky? Well that’s a new one… I look over to where Scootaloo was scowling at the two bullies. Expecting an argument to ensue, I got into my defensive teacher position in between the two parties. Luckily Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom defused the situation before I had to intervene. That cause the little orange one to return back to her oddly optimistic demeanor, before rushing out the door wanting everypony to follow. Begrudgingly dragging my lazy flank outside. I wince at how bright the sun was today, how dare the weather patrol schedule such a lovely day. It really makes it hard to brude when the entirety of the community will be out breaking out into random song and dance numbers. Trotting out into the middle of the playground I find myself staring at the orange filly responsible for dragging me outside on a beautiful day. Instead of seeing her usual scooter and ramp set up, I find her looking up expectantly at a rather low cloud floating above the playground. She was calling out someponies name, I’m honestly not paying all too much attention. But as soon as the cloud begun to shift I grimaced at what at saw. “Rainbow Dash?” I question as politely as possible to Scootaloo. “The one and only!” Instead I find myself being responded to by the previous occupant of the floating cloud. Somehow she flew right now in my face without me noticing, causing me to elect a startled yelp. In effect everyone of those little fillies and colts started prancing around and hopping up on the cyan mares wings. That at first caught her off guard, yet after a few seconds the pegasus got the upper hoof after she spreaded her wings to scoop up almost all of my students. Wow, I had no idea pegasi wings were that strong. Then again they probably have to be when a pony has an ego as big as hers. Even after that mare do well situation it barely put a dent in her attitude and I wasn’t looking forward to anything overwhelmingly positive today… Soo “So I presume you are here for Scootaloos presentation Ms.Dash?” A straightforward question. “Ms.Dash.. Why so formal, ha?” Not a straightforward answer. “She’s my presentation!” Scootaloo shouted, getting in between me and the cyan dare devil. With that said, Rainbow gave her all but patented toothy grin. It was suppose to be her way of ensuring success or something… I don’t think it particularly works. “Yep, Squirt asked me to do an awesome stunt for the kids. So I didn’t want to disappoint ya know.” She pridefully responds while brushing her hoof on her chest. “Yes well I don’t see a problem with that.” Pff, I see at least twenty problems… “Oh, blank flank is going to have another pony do tricks instead?” Silver Spoon questioned with general interest. “Ha, it’s because she knows all of hers are lame.” Diamond spat, completely obvious of the harsh stares she was getting from the crusaders and Rainbow Dash. Again with this, why won’t those two just give the insults a break for once. Oh, what’s going on here… Before I could even react to the situation, Rainbow Dash bet me to it. However I wasn’t surprised in the slightest at the fact that she wouldn’t handle it like an adult. The idiotic pegasus came down on the two fillies with the force or Tartarus all while spreading her wings to her full span to look overly intimidating… It was a bit much, considering she was threatening fillies. “Hey, you two got a bone to pick with squirt huh!” Rainbow growled while staring directly at the two frightened fillies. “Because if ya mess with her ya gotta deal with the most awesome mare in Ponyville!” That caused both of the class bullies to run of screaming at the top of the lungs as if they had been facing off with an manticore. “Rainbow Dash!” I honestly couldn’t help to raise my voice after that foolish display. “What? I’m serious, I’ll give those little jerks a what for!” She said triumphantly while floating up and boxing the air. “You do realize that would be first degree assault on a minor… Right?” “Oh…” I couldn’t help but to face hoof at her response. Seriously who doesn’t know something like that and now I think those two have ran home to tell their parents what happened. Ugh, now I’m going to have to set up a meeting to clear everything up and I’m sure with it involving Rainbow Dash it’s going to go any other way than smoothly. ‘Rainbow Dash, if you don’t stop sitting there looking stupid I’m going to strangle the stupid life out of your stupid body!’ Compose yourself Cherilee, remember. She is a national hero and Equestria needs her… Swallowing my rage was harder than I thought, with a slight twitch of my eye here and there the deed was done. I was going to go home and murder one of my pillows once I get out of here. “Ms.Dash, I’m going to have to ask you to stay after class ok.” I mutter through clinched teeth. Ooooohhh! All the children rang out simultaneously as if Rainbow Dash was one of the little children being reprimanded for bad behavior. Which wasn’t far from true, actually I would consider it completely accurate at the moment. “But. But.” Rainbow stuttered, not exactly understanding what was going on. “No buts Ms.Dash, me and you are going to have to have a talk.” Not that I actually want to have one… Her usual egotistical expression instantly turned into that of a punished dog. It was almost satisfying seeing a more vulnerable side of the Rainbow hotshot. It didn't stay for long, because Scootaloo buzzed in front of the dejected Pegasus yammering on about her big stunt or what not. That brought the cyan mare right back to her former self in a heart beat. Seeing no reason why I should even bother anymore I simply sit down behind a row of students who are eagerly awaiting the spectacle. 15 Minutes Later I swear it was almost like I had to tie her down to the chair just to get her to sit still in my classroom. Honestly I was still wrapping my head around the fact that just one stunt took an entire fifteen minutes. Seriously, I zoned out after the seventh loop, It took three of my students to get me out of my pretending to be conscious phase. Now I have the one and only Rainbow Dash sitting before me so I can get her to apologize to two bratty fillies and their parents. “Now, you've caused a fine mess Ms.Dash, So I’m going to have to ask you to come back tomorrow and apologize to those two you threatened.” “Ok, Just call me Dash or Rainbow for Celestia's sake.” Rainbow responded, clearly avoiding the situation. She’s about as subtle as the Paraspites that attacked the town a while back. “Rainbow!” I can’t take this any more… “WHAT! There's no way I’m apologizing to those brats… They are always picking on Squirt and her friends,” Now she was spreading her wings again, but this time it was in obvious defiance of what I was telling her to do. “I mean seriously, you sit there and watch it! If you don’t help them then who will.” ‘That’s it!’ “I’m trying to be fair here… But you are making it extremely hard for a extremely hard working pony. I am doing my best to not strangle you to death and dispose of your lifeless corpse in the Everfree over my own personal problems… But like I said YOU ARE MAKING IT VERY HARD!!!” That’s it, I've lost it. Rainbow Dash doesn't even really deserve this, but she got caught in the crossfire, better her than some student of mines. Looking directly into Rainbow’s magenta eyes I notice she’s still frozen in shock. So there's no point in stopping now, if I’m going off the deep end I might as well go off full speed. “I was poisoned to fall in love with a stallion that I've never been able to get over even after the effects supposedly wore off! The even after that I spend nearly an entire year or so dancing around those feelings just to work up the courage and find out he had started dating Fluttershy! Now… Now I've had to live with two pay cuts and the fact that Filthy Rich might sue the crap out of this pitiful one room school house!” Fuming, my purple face was now beet red. “I thought Filthy owned thi-” “THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!!” I slam my hoof on the table effective smashing the wooden best teacher apple Rumble gave me a month ago. Then after that, I did what any reasonable mare would do… I cried my ever loving eyes out right in front of the mare that I was just yelling at. Crying, that was all I could do. I haven’t cried in so long it almost feels foreign to have my eyes to well up with salty tears as they cascaded down my cheeks. They say crying relieves the soul and all that good stuff. Well they lied, I fell even more horrible and I have no idea how long I've been sitting here. I’m going to die alone in this stupid school crying. Wait, wasn't I yelling at somepony? Looking up I recoil in horror realizing that I have just lost my mind in front of another mare, and Rainbow Dash no less. Oh I can see it now, she’ll go tell her friends and then that poor mare Fluttershy will feel sorry and try to help me. Then I’ll go yell at her causing her to cry, then I’ll be known as the pony who made the animal mare cry. Maybe I can plea with Princess book face to send me to the moon or something… All princesses can do that right? Focusing more attention the mare in front of me, I can’t but help to see something glisten around the rim of her eyes. There was no way she was getting ready to cry… Was it, well I guess I got to say something now. I’m just surprised she didn't take my break down as an opportunity to fly away or something Silence ‘I don’t know what to say...’ Again I recoil after I here her hoofs connect with the wooden floor, that only meant she was heading for the door. Instead I find myself being pulled into an enduring hug. One that I was not expecting from the brash and tomboyish Pegasus. It felt so powerful, it felt so right… Her hooves wrapped around my back and her head sitting on my shoulder lightly enough for me to forget is even their. Still I couldn't bring myself to return her embrace or even ask why she was doing this, but I don’t want it end. It ended and it ended as quickly as it came. Pulling back abruptly, Rainbow took to a deep investigation around the room. Focusing on everything instead of what had just transpired, she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly trying to come up with a reason as well. But before I could work up the courage to ask her what the buck was happening she unfurled her wings and instantaneously shot out the open window with a blazing rainbow trail behind her. “Welp she’s gone Cheerilee and now I’m alone again…. Talking to myself as well, just great.” Talking to myself is a new development. Oh well I can go home and cry in my pillow instead of killing it now. Looking down at the mess of a desk I look at the shards of wood and the stained papers sprawled out everywhere. “I guess I gotta clean this up” Getting up I trudge over to the class closet to get the dust pan and broom, doing my best to ignore what had happened not to long ago. Sweeping up shards and re organizing papers took little to no time because cleaning up messes and dealing with papers were just a part of my job. Picking up the last of the papers, I noticed one that stood out. A crinkled and poorly hoof written letter sat close to the edge of my desk and it was clear who the writer was. Looking it over I notice it was already covered in red ink and marked with a grade… A lousy seventy seven percent, pretty average considering who wrote it. Who’s My Hero My hero is the one who is teaching how to fly. My hero is the one who became my sister and never reminds me I don’t have parents. My hero comes and helps me when I need it most. Rainbow Dash is my hero, she is the bestest pony in all of Ponyville because she is cool and awesome. But not to cool and awesome because she is the most amazingest listener as well, she’ll never leave anypony hanging. My sister Rainbow Dash is also the fast pony in ALL OF EQUESTRIA and she’s the element of loyalty and like has saved the world like a billion times! That’s all I had to read… That’s all I needed to see to prove the fact that she is a better mare than me. With tears reforming in my eyes I collect the last of the papers to stick them in my desk. However before I leave I feel like their is one thing that I need to do. Author's Note Ok, ok.... I've degraded myself to shamelessly shipping the rainbow pony. But hey, what the heck else I'm I suppose to do huh?! Not set sail and ship stuff.... Pfff SUE ME!
Flattery of a Prey Mantis Flattery of a Prey Mantis ‘Oh sleep, why must you elude me when I need you the most’ Walking to the school house at seven in the morning isn’t my most favorite part of the day. Still it has it’s peace about it, at least I’m able to get from point A to point B without any idle banter. One can only take so much of Lyra’s fanatical conspiracies or Pinkie Pie’s equally fanatical… Well everything. I swear I catch the both of them at the same time, I’ll probably have a heart attack on the spot or at least start foaming at the mouth. No matter, it’s quiet now and Celestia’s sun is just getting ready to rise. I’ve always liked to watch the sunrise in the morning, especially from right across the market where it’s the most beautiful. I can’t help but to take a moment to admire the sight. Trotting through the market, I can hear a lot more bustling than usual for this time in the morning. Yea, every now and then there's the occasional vendor setting up early to beat the competition. I couldn’t place it, but I knew I would curse my curiosity. Turning the corner to reveal the entirety of the market, I tense up at what I see. Big Mac and Fluttershy both setting up the Apple stall while exchanging small talk. Mentally cursing myself to Tartarus for the fact I thought I had supposedly buried that fear of crossing those two already to only find out I was sorely mistaken. There's no way I can cross them, maybe I can scale a building or something. My fears would be realized instantly, because in the middle of their unpacking an apple fell off Big Mac’s large cart and rolled in my general direction. Even though it was no where near me, it was still enough for the two lovebirds to divert their attention right in my direction. Catching me standing there stock still like I was turned to stone by a Cockatress. The direct eye contact was unbearable and I couldn’t tell if the two of them were none the wiser about my problem. It was now or never, letting out an internal sigh I put on my best face for the hundredth time and walked right in their direction. ‘So far so good. Right hoof, Left hoof… Great I haven’t forgotten how to walk. Ha, take that fears! No pony can stop this strong and independent mare… NO, WAIT!” My internal motivational speech was instantly halted by the fact that I complete ignored that BLASTED apple on the ground. It took nothing but a second for my front left hoof to roll right off the thing causing my face to connect with the oh so loving ground with a sickening thud. Amazingly I was spared a visit to Minuettes office this week, however I managed to catch mouth full of dirt. “Oh my… A-are you ok?!” sigh, even her trying to sound all shock and frantic comes out cute. “...” “Cherilee?” Oh not you to now. Haven’t you put me through enough you big red heartbreaker! “...” BWAHAAAHAA! You have got to be kidding me, there was no way that SHE saw that to! Still sprawled out on the dirt road I turn my attention to the sky to see exactly what I had expected… The same hotshot cyan pegasus that left me bewildered in my classroom last week. Now she’s sitting up there laughing her flank off after watching me eat the road. “Rainbow Dash! That’s not nice at all…” Fluttershy cutely scolded. “Enope.” Just as before, Rainbow Dash was lounging on a floating cloud that was suspiciously right in my general area. Either way it goes, it’s strange that she would be up this early in the morning. I mean I don’t know her all that well, but I do know that she isn’t well known for being the early bird. Now I knew this couldn’t get any worse… For me at least. “Oh there you are Rainbow, are you up early to apologize to those fillies?” I say nonchalantly trying my best to dust the dirt off my coat. Rainbow Dash’s devious smile was instantly wiped clean as soon as those words left my mouth. In effect she turned back around and chose to ignore me while utop of her protective cloud. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that was the same exact cloud from the other day. Then again all cloud look the same anyway, wait, why am I worried about clouds? “If your not here to apologize, then why the hay are you here?” I’ll continue to prod her until I get an answer. And it looks like I won’t have to prod for much longer either, because I can see her shifting uncomfortably on her cloud. “Yes Rainbow… Why ARE you here?” Whoa, why does Fluttershy of all ponies sound offended now? I turn towards the disgustingly cute couple to see them both wearing a eerily concerned look. Now it’s obvious I’m in the middle of something. Something I’ll take my time to creep out off to avoid any unnecessary backlash. Celestia know’s I don’t need to get in the middle of anything else, especially after that Lyra situation. Bon Bon wouldn’t look at me for weeks, then it took her another month to talk to me. So lesson learn, now let me make like a magician and disappear. A few hours later… Give or take I shouldn’t have promised that Rainbow Dash would apologize after I contacted Filthy Rich and Iron Spoon to resolves this. It was obvious that the rainbow maned dunderhead wasn’t going to show and now I’m in a fine spot here… My thoughts was instantly derailed as Filthy coughed in his hoof to collect my attention, no matter how prideful I am, I honestly need to give him my undivided attention for many reason. One big on is that he is the main source of my income, so yea, no drifting off into lala land. “Miss Cheerilee, we did not take precious time out of our schedule just to sit here in silence.” A rather miffed Iron Spoon spoke up, breaking the silence. The deep bass in his voice was enough to make me flinch internally, I’d never would have thought a pony could have a voice deeper than Big Mac’s. Regaining my internal composition was no easy feat considering the pony that I had promised to show up has yet to be seen. Despite her appearance this morning, no pony had been able to track the mare, not even hyperactive time bomb Pinkie, which is bad. “Eh…” SMOOTH MOVE! “Eh?!” Filthy chimed in, clearly at the end of his wit as well with this foolishness. “Our daughters deserve an apology not only from you, but also that Pegasus as well…” He said while motioning to the two sickeningly innocent looking filles. “So where is she.” “Meh,” That’s it, I give up… Bye bye job. “You know what, I’m done. The both of you can take your bratty kids home because that featherbrained simpleton isn’t gonna show up and I could care less.” Getting up from my desk without another word, I was going to go home and well I don’t know and I don’t care. Trotting proudly to the door, finally feeling as though I one upped somepony I confidently swing the schoolhouse door open to only be frozen in place. Right in front of the door stood Rainbow Dash covered in sweat and something else. From closer inspection it looked as though she had flown a thousand miles and back again. Her eyes were nearly hazed over with fatigue as my were filling with uncontrollable rage at the sight of the moron. Everything I just did was now proven to be pointless because if I would have waited for at least another second I wouldn’t have one less job. The exhausted pegasus muttered something incoherent under her breath before looking up at me with one of her ‘so called’ patinated grins. “Hey there pretty lady… H- Hic Has anypony told you, told you that you have pretty eyes…” HOLY CRAP SHE’S DRUNK!!! “Whoa… Are you guess those two things parents… HAHAHA, ya look s-s-stupid!” “EXCUSE ME!” Iron Spoon spat. “You heard me big guy… Do you want a piece of this huh?” Rainbow slurred trotting ever so lightly past my frozen form, swaying her hips every step of the way to the disgusted stallions. “Because I-I’ll chew your heads off!” ‘That made no sense’... Wait, she’s drunk. Waking up from my frozen stupor I gallop in between the stallions and the drunk mare attempting to salvage whatever I can. Although I’m pretty sure my career and reputation in Ponyville is tarnished for good. No matter, I still had to try, as soon as Rainbow saw me in front of the two stallions she raised a single eyebrow at me. She tried one time to move me out the way, but I wouldn’t budge, after all I am still an Earth pony and I do spend a little time working out. That however got Rainbow to chuckle oddly after laying her hoofs on my coat. “That’s one of the reasons I like mares ya know, their coats are always softer… It’s like your first time exper-experiment..ing with a cloud pillow.” Rainbow chirped, making kissy faces to no pony in particular. ‘What? wait… Am I blushing!’ Whatever was the reason, it was enough for the drunken Pegasus to weasel her way around me to look murderously at the two surprisingly quiet fillies and their parents. ‘My… life… is… over...’ “THAT’S IT! I’ll have no more of this, Cherilee I’ll make sure you’ll never see another school house again and YOU! You just better be lucky that you're under the princesses protection, otherwise I’d have you locked up for the longest time imaginable!” Filthy indignantly yelled at the both of us, ignoring the daggers that were protruding from Rainbows eyes. Her drunken stupor however was briefly disturbed after she translated what the brown stallion said. Suddenly her magenta eyes grew somewhat softer after she turned her head to look at me with my ears splayed sitting in the corner like a punished filly. I don’t have the slightest clue on what’s going through that cyan psychopaths head and I really don’t want to find out. It can’t get any worse for the poor unemployed school teacher can it? Or maybe it can, I could see the two parents motion for their children to leave the classroom as the both of them stood to face Rainbow Dash. No, there was no way this was going to turn into a fight. Please let this all be a figment of my distorted imagination once again. I need to defuse this… Actually I need to get out of here, hopefully they will tear each other into shreds and they won’t remember none of it, because I know that pegasus won’t. “Hey hic Filthy, Ya know I wonder what good ol’ Princess Twi would think about you bribing the w-weather office for-” Rainbow found herself harshly sushed by the straight laced stallion. A small evil grin grew on the Pegasus as she knew her attempts at blackmail hit the spot. “Now there's no need for games to be played Ms.Dash…” “ALL I WANT IS A BUCKING APOLOGY!” Iron spoon bellowed, turning towards Filthy and Dash, completely unconcerned about their conversation. “Well I’m sorry… I’m sorry that you are such a LAME dad that your bratty kid is being raise to be well a good for nothing, self centered, evil lacky to that equally good for nothing, self absorbed sore in the flank!” Rainbow Spat, quickly hitting a strong chord in the large grey stallion. The insult to him and his daughter was enough for him to kick his chair back and step angrily towards the drunk confident mare. Standing a good foot over the rainbowed trouble maker, Iron Spoon gave the mare what I would think was one last chance to take everything she said back. ‘Pff, good luck buddy’ “Hit me with you-your best shot!” she spat with that same toothy grin. Just before I or Filthy could interject, Irons right hoof craned back for a hook that would put a professional boxer to shame. But what caught me was the fact that Rainbow’s eyes were actually focused for that one moment… She clearly saw it coming, yet she wasn’t even raising a hoof to block it, let alone dodge it. In the solid second of confusion I was face with, Rainbow had her face connect with the stallions hoof and all I could hear was a dull smack. Everypony was quiet, Iron Spoon was still fuming and Filthy was taken back at the horror of the implications they could be facing. However Rainbow Dash was still standing and still looking directly into the stallions deep grey eyes. “Ya know, if I wasn’t plastered right now I would have felt that…” She chuckled lightly, wiping a stream of blood that came down her snout. “Iron you IDIOT, you just…” Filthy sputter. “Oh buck it, we have to go, NOW!” After Rich spoke, Iron’s rage subsided for him to take in the entirety of what he just did. Not only did he just hit a mare, he also hit one of the princesses closest friends. There wasn’t much else to say, besides that if Rainbow ever opened her mouth about what happened here there would be a lot of trouble for every party. ‘excluding me’ “Hey don’t l-look like that, ya throw a wicked hook. Buuut, lets call it even if ya catch m-my drift. No pony goes to jail and no pony gets fired.” “EH?!” There was no way Rainbow planed all that out and while drunk! Both stallions looked at each other with weary expression plastered on the both of their faces. They knew they just killed any case they had against the pegasus and myself for that matter. Silently nodding to each other, the both of them exited the room without another word or glance in our direction. I highly doubt that situation is over, but I’ll take what I can get and if that means another week or two with a check in the mail than so be it. My attention however was brought back to the once again stumbling Pegasus. I have no idea how she was able to pull herself together to play that little charade, but it’s over now. “RAINBOW DASH!” “Hey, hey hey, I-I’m right here ya know…” “You need to-” I couldn’t even finish my scolding before Rainbow spawned a hoof in my mouth. “Yea, I get it ok. Everypony is yelling at me to get over it ya know… But it’s hard alright, I’ve known her since flight school and I always had a crush on her!” Rainbow spoke, sullying her drunken mood. I had no idea what she was talking about, because it clearly had nothing to do with what I was getting ready to yell at her for. “See, here is the hard part of being a fillyfoaler. Ya almost never know if the mare ya like swings that way unless they tell you… Annnd she told me she didn’t after I asked, So yea my heart or what was left of it was crushed! Even after all that time, I still had it! It never went away and it really does hurt to see her make kissy faces with that big guy!” Whoa, she’s talking about Fluttershy! Rainbow had a crush on that shy mare, but she didn’t return the feelings. Talking about a tough pill to swallow, and that must have been why they all looked tense in the morning when she came around. I thought I had the worst of it, but she went for it and got shot down, just to only get burned a little more when her crush started dating that big old heart breaker. So it all make sense now, the hug from last week and her suspicious placement of clouds in the morning. Looking up at the broken Pegasus I could see a tear restraining itself from falling down her cheeks. Shes a good one, because I would have already been a ball of unsalvageable misery by now. Maybe I should listen to lyra and open up to somepony for a change. Besides that minty unicorn I have little to no real friends and all my old friends from my days in Manehatten are long since gone. I can still remember Octavia and me hitting broadway and she would always go on about being a famous cellist and I would drone on about being a college professor… Heh, at least she got what she wanted and me… “Hey booze breath, your not flying home like that are you?” “Wha, ya think ya can fly better than me huh?” Oh the humor in drunk responses, she is missing the obvious fact that I’m an earth pony. Still might as well make the most of this. “You may be the fastest Pegasus in all of Equestria, but I’m the fastest Earth Pony in the entire world!” I boastfully lied. “OH YOU ARE ON!” Rainbow triumphantly roared as she spreaded her wings and shot like a bullet. Not out the window though, instead she veered right and rammed right into my desk head first. Hitting the ground like a sack of apples, I would have thought she just killed herself if it wasn’t for the abhorred snores that started to escape her muzzle. Well she isn’t dead, but she is dead weight. There was no way she would be able to get home now, let alone wake up. With no other options I lazily trotted over to her sleeping form just to take in her distorted figure one last time before I shoveled her up with my muzzle to throw her on my back. It was an understatement to say I haven’t lifted anypony in a long while. Luckily for me Rainbow was a Pegasus and a extremely light Pegasus at that, still I could feel a little strain on back as she tried to get comfortable lying over me. ‘Well Cherilee I hope you know what you're doing taking a drunk mare home with you…’ “Nope!” Author's Note Ok ok... All this time I've been spelling school horses name wrong! Oh well, I'm committed to my mistakes, so Cheerilee is now Cherilee.
Rule Three (Rainbow Dash)Rule one, don’t go floating around your crush and not expect pain to ensue. Rule two, don’t go floating around a bar and not expect drinking to ensue and last but not least good old rule three… Wait, what was rule three and why does it feel like I’m laying on something extremely uncomfortable? Tearing open my eyes, I immediately regain the extent of all my senses to find myself wrapped up in some abomination on top of a pile of rocks. That was what I thought until my hangover kicked me in the back of my head causing me to feel around once more to find out I’m just laying in a really uncomfortable bed. It was obviously not my cloud bed and there was no way I made it back home after… whatever I did yesterday. Why does my face feel sore, I don’t remember hangovers doing that to me. Enough with the questions, it’s time for answers. Trying to untangle myself from the mess of covers proved harder than I thought, a hoof here and a wing there. I was still stuck, actually it felt like I was now even deeper in the sheets. There was no way Rainbow Dash was about to be ousted by some lousy covers, giving it my all this time I extend my wings to the fullest. Successfully blasting the sheets right off of me along with something else that was laying beside me and it wasn’t no pillow because it hit the ground with a loud yelp. Worried was an understatement, there were only so many ways this could turn out. I mean I was drunk and I was most likely loud… I’m always loud and then BAM, Rainbow Dash gets laid like some two bit hussy! I GOTTA GET OUT OF HERE! “Who, WHAT THE HAY ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED!” Screamed a very familiar voice from the floor. My instinct to fly out the nearest window overridden by the fact I knew that voice, I look over the end of the bed to see a very not happy looking Cherilee rubbing the top of her head. “Aww, come on… Don’t tell me I banged you of all ponies!” Honestly, I would have at least thought Cloudkicker would capitalize on me. But Cherilee, I was so drunk that the Ponyville school teacher got me in bed… “Rainbow… Dash…” “Y-yea?” “Get out of my bed before I buck you out of it.” Whoa, who knew she could sound that scary. Shes almost as bad as Rarity when someone messes up her hair or something. “Hey, ya have already done that once. You must really want some of this don’t ya?” Oh, smooth move dash… Now you're really gonna die! I regret nothing! Raising my hooves to protect my awesome face I couldn’t help but to flinch slightly at the mere thought of her bucking me clear across the room. After waiting for a couple of seconds I was unsure if she wasn’t going to kick me or was she just waiting for me to drop my guard. Either way I knew something was going to happen because looking past my hooves I could see her let out a silent sigh and walk completely around the bed. Swiveling my head to see where she was going, I noticed the assorted knick knacks and portraits littering her what I assume to be her room. That slight distraction was enough for the strange purple mare to disappear through the threshold of her door… Leaving me alone in her room… Ok Dash, you were drunk and you're in Cherilee's room. But it doesn’t seem like you were taken advantage of… Maybe she was just trying to help or something, because I kinda do remember talking to her yesterday. So just play it cool and don’t do anything stupid, also remember to ask her if she has any hangover pills… MY HEAD IS KILLING ME! Taking another moment to look around the small room once again. It was obvious she had a thing for apples or what looked like apples. Leaning off the bed slightly I look at the bronze covered statues that resemble apples and all of them read just about the same thing. They were some type of teachers award or something and it seemed like Cherilee took home the prize every year. Although I can’t think of many other teachers in the area, Lyra use to teach music. But that ended soon after Pinkie joined and they nearly started a war between the Breezies and the Griffins. Bringing my mind back from that traumatic experience that required weeks of endless diplomacy, I quickly notice a small overturned picture frame on her night stand. It was almost like it wasn’t suppose to be their, but it couldn’t be removed from the spot. Grr, looking towards the door to make sure she wouldn’t catch me snooping around, I whipped right back to the picture and snatched it up. However I wished that I hadn’t because it was a grave reminder of what got me here in the first place. In the frame was a picture of Applejacks big red brother and Cherilee from when they were still poisoned or something to that effect… At least I think? Still no matter what I thought about that, I couldn’t stop myself from remembering everything that transpired yesterday. It all hit me like a freight train, I couldn’t even keep my wings down simply because the apprehension just caught me in a nose. I’m in the same house of the pony that I just spilled my guts to! Scrambling off the bed as if the fear of Luna was struck into me, I leap towards the window and start fiddling with the lock. “Stupid hooves!” Frustrated I couldn’t even manage to pry open a simple lock. Getting even more antsy and impatient I decided that collateral damage would be the least of my worries. Backing up with my wings spread wide, I give one of my signature Rainbow Dash assured grins. Starting at the window I try to accelerate straight through it… Until her voice caught me completely off guard and in the middle of the act. With my concentration completely shattered I flop forward and fall in a heap doing my best not to re enact her display from yesterday morning. “Please, tell me you weren’t getting ready to fly through my window…” Cherilee dead-panned. “No” Obvious lies are obvious “Right… Well I would… I would like to talk to you downstairs for a minute.” She wasn’t really asking, she was kinda demanding in a teacher sort of way that sent chills down my spin. Well even I have to know when to pick my battles, truthfully this was long waiting. Walking away from the windowsill in defeat I follow in line behind the purple mare. Still my curiosity was peaked as we walked down the hallway I could see a barely open door and once we passed it I couldn’t help but to peak in. Within the semi closed door I could see what looked like worn out gym equipment, which was odd enough within itself if it wasn't also for the dangerous amounts of books that littered everything in the room. Cherilee working out was a strange thing to image, I’ve never would have pinned her for the physical type. Facing forward, I glance quickly at her flanks to see if there were any tone or definition to them. Hmm, not bad… But mines are better though. It didn’t even occur to me to glance up and check to see if I was going to get caught in the act. However it seemed like I was stuck in a loop, with each step she took my eyes followed her natural sway. I didn’t even notice the fact that she most likely had turned her head to check on my moments ago while I was completely entranced. As I looked up I could see green eyes narrowed on my guilty form... Caught in the act, I thought I was better than that. Releasing a deep sigh, one I hear from her all too often she was getting ready to either yell at me to leave or say something along the lines of she doesn't swing that way. So before I could even say ‘see, what had happen was…” There were three rather light taps on her front door, which completely surprised me because I didn't even realize we were in her living room. Cherilee’s attention was luckily, temporarily broken from me for the moment as she turned with what looked like a unbelievable expression plastered on her face. “Don’t get too many visitors huh?” I shamelessly say, not giving a hay anymore if I dug myself in a even deeper pit. “Hush you!” She turned towards me only for that second to make her point for me to stay quiet. Trotting to the door, Cherilee fumbles with the handle for a second… Hooves and all. But after she managed to unlock the door and swing it open ever so lightly my wings sprung wide open at who I saw. “WHOA, you're that big violin chick! your music is AWESOME!” I know my eyes weren't deceiving me, I mean not everypony may know. But I loved that classical stuff ever since that fru fru mare Rarity was playing it the entire time I was stuck in her shop. I’ve even slipped out to go to a concert here and there and passed it off as me going to a Wonderbolts performance. Now here is one of the biggest names in the game right here in front of this mares house, I mean she is like the me of music… That one Dj pony is totally overrated. However as soon as I looked around I noticed my avid enthusiasm wasn’t nearly as shared. Cherilee looked beyond stupid as I swear her brain just stopped after laying eyes on the gray earth pony mare. I couldn't help to notice the giant case strapped to her back also, I mean jeez I knew earth ponies were strong, but that’s just crazy. The thing is nearly the size of here and I bet it weighs just as much to. “Hello Cherilee, long time no see… Would you care to introduce me to your interesting friend here.” The gray mare questions with a general interest as she did her best to put a little bit in between me and herself. “F-friend?!” Cherilee sputtered. "My name is RAINBOW DASH!" I say enthusiastically pushing past the stunned mare. Author's Note If anybody can figure out what rule three was I will give ya a internet cookie and a follow...
Ignorance is BlissThe world has been conspiring against me these past few days. First I get this Pegasus, shes been acting stranger than I have these past few days as well and I just want to get to the bottom of it. Now I got my old friend from College standing in my front door, who by now is a world famous musician. There really is no normal in this town is it, might as well let her in and see how all this plays out. But I doubt anything will swing in my divine favor... As I step to the side to motion my friend Octavia into my home, I sigh internally when I glance at Rainbow to see her getting ready to go into full blown fan girl mode. Her reactions to things of late has been less than predictable, I mean she’s been acting like an actual pony instead of some puffed up hero. Maybe it’s just an act she puts on for the fillies and colts or something. I’ve never actually seen how she acts around her friends after all, so I should cut her some slack. ‘Still that won’t stop me from interrogating her about how she ended up in my bed!’ With Octavia finding a comfy enough recliner, she sat her cello heavily down beside her, Making it painfully obvious how heavy that thing was. The proper mare never would be caught dead without her bow tie neither, because she was brushing it off as soon as she sat down. I could never get her to take that off back in the day, actually I don’t even know if she has only one, It would make sense to own multiple considering it’s her preferred attire. Still not that many ponies wear cloths that often, unless of course they were Canterlot types. So I guess it does make a little sense that she would wear that thing now, but it will never grow on me though. PLOP! I nearly rose about a foot into the air after that chaotic Pegasus dive bombed right into the spot next to me on the couch. After coming back down mere inches from the cause of my distress, I gave her a predatory glare that meant that our little conversation from before was far from over. Sensing what I was thinking she shrunk back slightly into the couch itself, attempting some feeble form of camouflage. Turning back to Octavia, who was sitting directly opposite of the both of us, I noticed instantly her weird grin she was shooting in our direction, that alone was enough for me to look slightly uncomfortable as well. “Well I can see you’ve been doing good.” What was she hinting at… “I suppose… But if I may ask, what are you doing in Ponyville Octavia?” Always start with the simple questions. “Oh, why you know has just the best market for cello strings.” Octavia said in code. Why would I expect anything different, I swear I’ll never get a straight forward answer till I die! Apparently feeling my frustration seeping from my stressed form, she let out a little giggle. “Cherilee dear, Please.” Sigh “I’m sorry, but things haven’t exactly been a walk in the park of lately…” I dangerously eye one of the culprits, who was still trying to meld with the couch after another accusatory glare. “But lets not get caught up in that, how have you been and why didn’t you tell me ahead of time… I could have been more prepared for you.” “Oh, I thought I sent a letter through the mail last week saying that I would be coming to visit?” Octavia responded, raising a brow. About a week ago “Hey, Big Mac… Do ya know any Octavias?” A curious apple farmer asks while shifting through their mail. “Eenope!” The stallion in questions yells down from the upper levels of their home. Shrugging her shoulders, the farmer crumpled up the paper and shot it into a garbage bin. Immediately returning to her daily chores. Right back to where we were “Derpy…” Both me and Rainbow Dash say simultaneously. “Who?” my old friend asks, clearly not informed on our interesting mailmare. So my old friend was planning on paying me a visit and I didn’t even know. I guess I was lucky that I was even home today, if it wasn’t for Rainbow I’d probably be out trying to keep myself busy right now. I really want to open up to her about all my problems, but I still got said Rainbow Dash sitting right next to me… Being oddly quiet… too quiet! Turning my head to face her, I was greeted with empty space. Franticly looking everywhere I catch sight of a rainbow tail flicking from behind my table, right next to Octavia. Looking around the table, I catch the mare read hoofed trying to play with her cello. “RAINBOW DASH!” I yell. Upon hearing her name booming throughout the room she released a startled yelp and flew up into the ceiling before another word could be spoken. I was hoping Octavia wouldn’t be as furious as I was and gladly she wasn’t. Instead of choking down anger like I was, she was chuckling lightly at what must have been a hilarious display for her. However it was far from it for me, the last thing I need is to be completely embarrassed in front of my oldest and honestly only real friend in ages. I’m about ready to kick Rainbow out of my house and say forget about it. Yet after all that has happened, I’m still curious about a couple of things. Ugh, my stupid curiosity... “Cherilee, darling it’s not like she could do any real damage to it.” Octavia said dismissively, while settling better into her chair. “Yea see… Not cool Cher!” Rainbow retorted, obviously feeling empowered with my friend on her side. “Fine!” I say, admitting defeat and raising my hoofs in the air in a mock surrender. This time both mares let out a fit of giggles… I don’t remember Octavia being so childish. I swear there use to be a rod stuck so far up her rear end you would have mistaken her for the school flag post. Now she seems so relaxed and carefree, what or who has gotten into her. Cause now I’m the one sitting here looking like a complete stiff. “Soo Rainbow Dash is it, You like my music?” My friend asked Rainbow a well placed question. “Umm, almost as much as I like flying… Almost!” She responded defensively, almost as if she was slipping up. Giggling a little more, like a school filly. Octavias questions continued, leaving me and her little time to actually talk or catch up. She seemed more interested with Rainbow Dash, constantly asking her questions like… How long have you known Cherilee and subtle things like have she been over my house before. I don’t know what game they are playing, because all Rainbow keeps doing is giving some half wit answers as well to couple up with her questions. Every now and then the conversation would be steered back to me, but only for a second. Sitting back on my couch, I was resting my head on my hoof until the conversation was thrown back my way. This time though I was unprepared, because they were trying to ask me something and I wasn’t paying the slightest attention until Rainbow was waving a hoof in my face. Being roused from my trance like state again, I finally realized they were asking me a question. “So, Cher…” Why did she put such an emphasis on my nickname. Wait, when did that become my nickname? “What do you think about Rainbow Dash. Stupid question! “Um, shes a hoofful at times and she can be a little erratic at worse. But in the end I think she means well…” That’s true to a degree, I still haven’t forgotten about Scootaloo’s paper. She’s been nothing short of an inspiration for a lot of those kids. Not to mention she saved my job… That she almost lost me. “Great, so it’s settled!” Octavia said cheerfully. The both of me and Rainbow Dash tilted our heads at her little display as she unlocked her cello case and reached inside of it. She quickly resurfaced with two white tickets in her hand and hoofed the both of us one of them. Rainbow looked speechless, as if somepony had just said she was a part of the Wonderbolts now, me I looked generally confused until I looked closer at the small ticket. “Tickets to one of your concerts?” “Yes darling, I’m going to be playing outside of Ponyville in two days! That’s why I’m here early, I wanted you to attend and then afterwards we could spend more time together.” She said, clopping her hoofs at the prospect. “So why did you give her a ticket?” I say, pointing a hoof at Rainbow Dash. Who in response clutched her ticket for dear life as if it would have turned to ashes before my hoof. “Now you know I wouldn’t dare give you a ticket and leave your friend here without one.” I don’t see, nor do I care about what she is playing at. This is exactly the outing I need, something to relax my mind and get me out of the house at the same time. Added bonus I now get to catch up with an old friend, so I guess Rainbow can hit the back burner for a while… I mean if all goes well I won’t even need to interrogate her, after all she did get a ticket. So we should all be busy and occupied. Giving my first sincere smile since Celestia knows when, It was enough to cause Rainbow to begin questioning the situation considering I haven’t really smiled since I’ve talked to her. After catching up a little more with Octavia, I finally was able to shove Dash out of my house. Her constant questioning and such was getting on my nerves, one can only take so much of the famed Fangirl Dash… But with her gone I was able to really start talking to my friend on a personal level, rather than beating around the bush. “Let me tell you, this job in Ponyville has just been tiring. I honestly like the kids, seriously I do… But I don’t have much help around the School house and nopony else can legally teach since Lyra lost her licence.” “Why don’t you finally put your major to use dear, I mean we didn’t go to college for nothing now did we?” “My MAJOR!” The absolute biggest waste of my time, there was no way I was going to get a job in Equestria with that. “Well I think their is somepony out their who could use a graduate of Arcanic Studies.” The proper mare spoke with all seriousness. “Octavia… I’m an Earth Pony, who in their right mind would hire me to teach or be involved with anything that might involve magic! I still remember, the only reason I took the class was because I wanted to be rebellious and such.” There was no way I was in my right mind at the time, I swear they only let me graduate just to humor some of the senior staff. “You know how long we’ve been friends and I’ll help you anyway I can. But my best advice is to do what your heart tells you, that’s what I’ve done and I’ve haven’t been happier in such a long time.” She responds, clearly reminiscing about something. “Well then, tell me your secret?” Might as well play along. She leaned in close and whispered. “Special... Somepony.” “I’ve already told you what happened with Bi-” “Marefriend…” The rest of my sentence was caught in my throat, I mean there was no way she was implying. Looking deep into Octavia’s purple eyes I immediately realized she was totally implying what I thought she was. Opening and closing my mouth I just sit back on my couch, caught in the elaborate trap she had just set for me. To think neither me or Rainbow Dash was none the wiser… Ignorance is bliss Author's Note Oct F#$%ing tavia! I really don't know how I wanted her to sound, seriously... I never even watched Equestria Girls two or whatever to hear her speaking for the first time. My next chapt is already a whooping 5,000 words... I might chop it into two if I keep it progressing at the rate I'm typing, either way the next two will be the fun ones!
That's First Degree Assault That's First Degree Assault I’ve dedicated my life to the enrichment of young minds, so that they can go on in the future to live fulfilling and meaningful lives. At least that’s what I keep telling myself after all. Still my confidence in that mantra continuously gets bulldozed by the fact that my students are about as interested in my learning plan as they are the chewed gum under their desks. Not to mention my little personal problem that has also grew from the seeds of this torture chamber they call a school. You’d think moving out of Manehatten to live in a backwater town would have it’s peace and subtleties… WRONG! It almost seems like ever since Princess Book Face moved to town everything that is anything that could possibly crawl out of Tartarus ends up here. I mean I’d hate to question Princess Celestias national security plans, but it always seem like she just sits back and roll the dice. Honestly I heard the one time she actually did anything she got mopped up by some bug queen. Then here comes Princess Book Face blowing up mountains and shooting lasers, I mean the whole shi-bang against some monster guy. However I think the greatest threat to Equestria, no… The greatest threat to my sanity sits right before me. Three little fillies known as the Cutie Mark whatevers. Their little idiotic butt mark adventures always end up disastrous and sticky. I swear I have never seen so much tree sap in my life, I honestly don’t know where they find it all. But those creatures are the instrument of my demise, those three little innocent looking CREATURES! If it wasn’t for them poisoning me during Hearts and Hooves day I would have never fell in love. I could have pressed charges, but I have a reputation in this small town for being the nice quiet school teacher. So I had to play some have you girls learned your lesson type crap.... Sigh Looking up at the clock I realized that I’ve blown almost fifteen minutes staring a hole into my grade book. That caused a chain reaction in my mind. First I was suppose to be collecting the kids math homework, secondly I could hear the frantic scribbling on paper from a couple fillies and colts meaning that they were obviously trying to finish their homework in class, thirdly I’m suppose to conduct show and tell before class lets out because it’s friday. Getting up from my desk while emitting a low groan I immediately switch into my happy go lucky teacher mode. I give all my students a warm smile, even the ones who are trying to hide the passing of papers and the cheating of notes. This effectively causes them all to look up somewhat sheepishly. I instantly got the message. “Ok students, since it seems like not everypony has finished their homework. I’ll give you all the weekend to work on it, so please try to bring it in complete monday.” Putting on my best face I look over the small group of children to only see three hooves to go up as soon as I looked in their direction. “Sweetie, Silver, and Feather. You three can turn in your homework now and I’ll throw in extra credit since you all decided to take initiative.” That caused a few of the runts to grumble in protest to their hard work. Still I don’t understand why those kids get upset, because this happens almost every week. Now since after my little personal situation, I really don’t care if they finish their work or not. But for those who do, I’ll be sure to reward them properly. However that brings up one issue for me, how can Sweetie Belle be so intelligent in class, but end up partaking in the stupidest featherbrained schemes possible. Honestly I think it’s those other two… There is no way Apple Bloom and Scootaloo are good influences, well Apple Bloom has a good head on her every now and then. Yet Scootaloo comes off as a loose cannon, it’s almost like comparing her to that Rainbow Dash… Bringing all three of them together however is the worst possible combination in pony history. They’ve almost completely destroyed my mind with a love potion for celestias sake and even after coming back. I still could never separate my true feelings for Big Mac… He seriously didn’t show any hints of attraction to me, still we did go out once, or was that seriously pretend. I couldn’t have actually developed feelings after the fact could I, NO MATTER! “Well since were not collecting homework, we might as well move on to show and tell since it’s the end the day. So who wants to go first.” “OH, OH, OH!” Ponyfeathers, not Scootaloo. Every week we go through the motions of some insanely unreasonable stunt. That often times ended up with us all covered in sap and ending class early. Even I wasn’t the only one worried, I could hear the chorus of groans and grumbles from my students. Yet no pony would step up to challenge Scootaloo for the first to present. Well, Might as well get it over with. I’ll run a warm bath when I go home. I made the hoof motion for Scootaloo to step up and present. I knew better than to give that orange filly a verbal agreement because it could turn sappy in a second and I want to be able to pull her to the corner before it goes that far. At the motion of my hoof, the little orange filly beamed a unorthodox smile. One that made me shift slightly from the spot I was standing. ‘She’s planning something’ Jumping up out of her set she galloped to the door to motion everypony out the classroom. “Ok everypony for this week I got something extra special planned!” “Oh no…” Me and a couple of other students whispered in unison. “What are you going to do blanky, fail at flying again.” That little brat Diamond Tiara rang out with her little crony right beside her. Blanky? Well that’s a new one… I look over to where Scootaloo was scowling at the two bullies. Expecting an argument to ensue, I got into my defensive teacher position in between the two parties. Luckily Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom defused the situation before I had to intervene. That cause the little orange one to return back to her oddly optimistic demeanor, before rushing out the door wanting everypony to follow. Begrudgingly dragging my lazy flank outside. I wince at how bright the sun was today, how dare the weather patrol schedule such a lovely day. It really makes it hard to brude when the entirety of the community will be out breaking out into random song and dance numbers. Trotting out into the middle of the playground I find myself staring at the orange filly responsible for dragging me outside on a beautiful day. Instead of seeing her usual scooter and ramp set up, I find her looking up expectantly at a rather low cloud floating above the playground. She was calling out someponies name, I’m honestly not paying all too much attention. But as soon as the cloud begun to shift I grimaced at what at saw. “Rainbow Dash?” I question as politely as possible to Scootaloo. “The one and only!” Instead I find myself being responded to by the previous occupant of the floating cloud. Somehow she flew right now in my face without me noticing, causing me to elect a startled yelp. In effect everyone of those little fillies and colts started prancing around and hopping up on the cyan mares wings. That at first caught her off guard, yet after a few seconds the pegasus got the upper hoof after she spreaded her wings to scoop up almost all of my students. Wow, I had no idea pegasi wings were that strong. Then again they probably have to be when a pony has an ego as big as hers. Even after that mare do well situation it barely put a dent in her attitude and I wasn’t looking forward to anything overwhelmingly positive today… Soo “So I presume you are here for Scootaloos presentation Ms.Dash?” A straightforward question. “Ms.Dash.. Why so formal, ha?” Not a straightforward answer. “She’s my presentation!” Scootaloo shouted, getting in between me and the cyan dare devil. With that said, Rainbow gave her all but patented toothy grin. It was suppose to be her way of ensuring success or something… I don’t think it particularly works. “Yep, Squirt asked me to do an awesome stunt for the kids. So I didn’t want to disappoint ya know.” She pridefully responds while brushing her hoof on her chest. “Yes well I don’t see a problem with that.” Pff, I see at least twenty problems… “Oh, blank flank is going to have another pony do tricks instead?” Silver Spoon questioned with general interest. “Ha, it’s because she knows all of hers are lame.” Diamond spat, completely obvious of the harsh stares she was getting from the crusaders and Rainbow Dash. Again with this, why won’t those two just give the insults a break for once. Oh, what’s going on here… Before I could even react to the situation, Rainbow Dash bet me to it. However I wasn’t surprised in the slightest at the fact that she wouldn’t handle it like an adult. The idiotic pegasus came down on the two fillies with the force or Tartarus all while spreading her wings to her full span to look overly intimidating… It was a bit much, considering she was threatening fillies. “Hey, you two got a bone to pick with squirt huh!” Rainbow growled while staring directly at the two frightened fillies. “Because if ya mess with her ya gotta deal with the most awesome mare in Ponyville!” That caused both of the class bullies to run of screaming at the top of the lungs as if they had been facing off with an manticore. “Rainbow Dash!” I honestly couldn’t help to raise my voice after that foolish display. “What? I’m serious, I’ll give those little jerks a what for!” She said triumphantly while floating up and boxing the air. “You do realize that would be first degree assault on a minor… Right?” “Oh…” I couldn’t help but to face hoof at her response. Seriously who doesn’t know something like that and now I think those two have ran home to tell their parents what happened. Ugh, now I’m going to have to set up a meeting to clear everything up and I’m sure with it involving Rainbow Dash it’s going to go any other way than smoothly. ‘Rainbow Dash, if you don’t stop sitting there looking stupid I’m going to strangle the stupid life out of your stupid body!’ Compose yourself Cherilee, remember. She is a national hero and Equestria needs her… Swallowing my rage was harder than I thought, with a slight twitch of my eye here and there the deed was done. I was going to go home and murder one of my pillows once I get out of here. “Ms.Dash, I’m going to have to ask you to stay after class ok.” I mutter through clinched teeth. Ooooohhh! All the children rang out simultaneously as if Rainbow Dash was one of the little children being reprimanded for bad behavior. Which wasn’t far from true, actually I would consider it completely accurate at the moment. “But. But.” Rainbow stuttered, not exactly understanding what was going on. “No buts Ms.Dash, me and you are going to have to have a talk.” Not that I actually want to have one… Her usual egotistical expression instantly turned into that of a punished dog. It was almost satisfying seeing a more vulnerable side of the Rainbow hotshot. It didn't stay for long, because Scootaloo buzzed in front of the dejected Pegasus yammering on about her big stunt or what not. That brought the cyan mare right back to her former self in a heart beat. Seeing no reason why I should even bother anymore I simply sit down behind a row of students who are eagerly awaiting the spectacle. 15 Minutes Later I swear it was almost like I had to tie her down to the chair just to get her to sit still in my classroom. Honestly I was still wrapping my head around the fact that just one stunt took an entire fifteen minutes. Seriously, I zoned out after the seventh loop, It took three of my students to get me out of my pretending to be conscious phase. Now I have the one and only Rainbow Dash sitting before me so I can get her to apologize to two bratty fillies and their parents. “Now, you've caused a fine mess Ms.Dash, So I’m going to have to ask you to come back tomorrow and apologize to those two you threatened.” “Ok, Just call me Dash or Rainbow for Celestia's sake.” Rainbow responded, clearly avoiding the situation. She’s about as subtle as the Paraspites that attacked the town a while back. “Rainbow!” I can’t take this any more… “WHAT! There's no way I’m apologizing to those brats… They are always picking on Squirt and her friends,” Now she was spreading her wings again, but this time it was in obvious defiance of what I was telling her to do. “I mean seriously, you sit there and watch it! If you don’t help them then who will.” ‘That’s it!’ “I’m trying to be fair here… But you are making it extremely hard for a extremely hard working pony. I am doing my best to not strangle you to death and dispose of your lifeless corpse in the Everfree over my own personal problems… But like I said YOU ARE MAKING IT VERY HARD!!!” That’s it, I've lost it. Rainbow Dash doesn't even really deserve this, but she got caught in the crossfire, better her than some student of mines. Looking directly into Rainbow’s magenta eyes I notice she’s still frozen in shock. So there's no point in stopping now, if I’m going off the deep end I might as well go off full speed. “I was poisoned to fall in love with a stallion that I've never been able to get over even after the effects supposedly wore off! The even after that I spend nearly an entire year or so dancing around those feelings just to work up the courage and find out he had started dating Fluttershy! Now… Now I've had to live with two pay cuts and the fact that Filthy Rich might sue the crap out of this pitiful one room school house!” Fuming, my purple face was now beet red. “I thought Filthy owned thi-” “THAT’S NOT THE POINT!!!” I slam my hoof on the table effective smashing the wooden best teacher apple Rumble gave me a month ago. Then after that, I did what any reasonable mare would do… I cried my ever loving eyes out right in front of the mare that I was just yelling at. Crying, that was all I could do. I haven’t cried in so long it almost feels foreign to have my eyes to well up with salty tears as they cascaded down my cheeks. They say crying relieves the soul and all that good stuff. Well they lied, I fell even more horrible and I have no idea how long I've been sitting here. I’m going to die alone in this stupid school crying. Wait, wasn't I yelling at somepony? Looking up I recoil in horror realizing that I have just lost my mind in front of another mare, and Rainbow Dash no less. Oh I can see it now, she’ll go tell her friends and then that poor mare Fluttershy will feel sorry and try to help me. Then I’ll go yell at her causing her to cry, then I’ll be known as the pony who made the animal mare cry. Maybe I can plea with Princess book face to send me to the moon or something… All princesses can do that right? Focusing more attention the mare in front of me, I can’t but help to see something glisten around the rim of her eyes. There was no way she was getting ready to cry… Was it, well I guess I got to say something now. I’m just surprised she didn't take my break down as an opportunity to fly away or something Silence ‘I don’t know what to say...’ Again I recoil after I here her hoofs connect with the wooden floor, that only meant she was heading for the door. Instead I find myself being pulled into an enduring hug. One that I was not expecting from the brash and tomboyish Pegasus. It felt so powerful, it felt so right… Her hooves wrapped around my back and her head sitting on my shoulder lightly enough for me to forget is even their. Still I couldn't bring myself to return her embrace or even ask why she was doing this, but I don’t want it end. It ended and it ended as quickly as it came. Pulling back abruptly, Rainbow took to a deep investigation around the room. Focusing on everything instead of what had just transpired, she opened and closed her mouth repeatedly trying to come up with a reason as well. But before I could work up the courage to ask her what the buck was happening she unfurled her wings and instantaneously shot out the open window with a blazing rainbow trail behind her. “Welp she’s gone Cheerilee and now I’m alone again…. Talking to myself as well, just great.” Talking to myself is a new development. Oh well I can go home and cry in my pillow instead of killing it now. Looking down at the mess of a desk I look at the shards of wood and the stained papers sprawled out everywhere. “I guess I gotta clean this up” Getting up I trudge over to the class closet to get the dust pan and broom, doing my best to ignore what had happened not to long ago. Sweeping up shards and re organizing papers took little to no time because cleaning up messes and dealing with papers were just a part of my job. Picking up the last of the papers, I noticed one that stood out. A crinkled and poorly hoof written letter sat close to the edge of my desk and it was clear who the writer was. Looking it over I notice it was already covered in red ink and marked with a grade… A lousy seventy seven percent, pretty average considering who wrote it. Who’s My Hero My hero is the one who is teaching how to fly. My hero is the one who became my sister and never reminds me I don’t have parents. My hero comes and helps me when I need it most. Rainbow Dash is my hero, she is the bestest pony in all of Ponyville because she is cool and awesome. But not to cool and awesome because she is the most amazingest listener as well, she’ll never leave anypony hanging. My sister Rainbow Dash is also the fast pony in ALL OF EQUESTRIA and she’s the element of loyalty and like has saved the world like a billion times! That’s all I had to read… That’s all I needed to see to prove the fact that she is a better mare than me. With tears reforming in my eyes I collect the last of the papers to stick them in my desk. However before I leave I feel like their is one thing that I need to do. Author's Note Ok, ok.... I've degraded myself to shamelessly shipping the rainbow pony. But hey, what the heck else I'm I suppose to do huh?! Not set sail and ship stuff.... Pfff SUE ME!
