The Darkness Within

Chapter 6: Mixed feelings

I just stand there for a couple seconds taking it all in.  It's funny, I think of these powers as a curse and yet I always get such a rush when I use them.

"Well ponies, give me your take on my powers."

My voice has the quality it always does when I transform, like there are two of me talking at once.  As I scan the crowd with my one eye I stop on one raised hoof, a dark blue hoof with a silver hoof shoe.

...It's Luna.

"Y-yes Princess Luna?"

"What is the nature of this so called curse?"  She is pretty calm, if only she knew.

"It is an entity that requires a host that it chooses at random. It infects them, tainting them with madness then taking them over while feeding on that madness from their corrupted minds.  But for unknown reason I can fight it and use the powers with complete control, most of the time."

"What do you mean, most of the time?"  Luna says narrowing her eyes.

Shit.

"If I am put under a great deal of emotional stress then the curse can take complete control, and after that..."  I just can't bare to say the rest.

But Luna is persistent.

"What happens after you lose control?"

"I, um I try to keep those memories buried."

But Luna just won't take the damn hint.

"After that what, TELL ME!"  She demands.

"Stop!  Their are just, some things that I don't want to remember and I-

My past hits me with the force of a mountain being dropped on me.

I start to tremble a little bit, as the memories come flooding into my mind's eye.  Corpses, corpses everywhere!  Some lying on the ground with there bodies ripped open, blood and organs spilling out onto the ground.  And others impaled on tree limbs with their faces torn away from their skulls. Some where even fully skinned and a couple had their own entrails wrapped around their necks, strangled to death with their own intestines.  The very ground made a sucking sound, from all of the blood and varies innards strewn everywhere.  Men, women, and even children.  All slaughtered for one thing...for fun.

"Stop it Luna! Can't you see you're making him uncomfortable."  I hear Celestia say.

She must not have want me to be upset, but it is too late.  And then the pain comes.

"AHhhhhhhhhhhh!"  I scream in pain and drop to my knees as the curse attempts to rip past my mental barrier.

Twilight is the first to get to my side.

"What's wrong Shadow?  Is it the curse?"

I cradle my head in my hands, the pain is unbearable.  I can feel the barrier in my mind getting weaker.

"Yessss the curse is trying to take over!"

Twilight kneels by me.  "But I thought that you could control it?"

"I can, but when Luna asked me that question and wouldn't stop pressing me, I don't know why but I had a flashback... of something horrible I did a long time ago."

Another wave of pain thunders through me.

"My mental shield is as thin as paper and any second the curse will tear through it and then.... ponies will die!"  I yell through the pain.

Luna takes to the air and looks like she is about to blast me right then and their, until her sister stopped her.

"Wait sister, I believe we should give him a chance."

Kill, KIll, KILl, KILL!

The morbid mantra keeps getting louder and louder in my head until it is almost defining.

No!  You will not hurt any of them!  I might not stop you every time, but at least this time I will!

I pour all of my strength into raising my hand to my face, dig my fingers under the mask that has now spread to cover almost my entire face, and with a hard tug.  I rip the mask off.

As it clatters to the ground and turns to dust, the black suite that covers my body slides off of my body and begins to seep back into my back.  the last thing I remember is a bunch of ponies calling my name, before I fall into blackness.

You are only delaying the inevitable fool.

Yeah?  Well that's good enough for me.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

I wake up feeling... comfortable?  I try to open my eyes but all I get is a blur.  My head is throbbing too but underneath me and over me I can feel a softness of some kind.  So I just wait until my eyes adjust so I can see were the heck I am.

After about five minutes I can finally make out that I am in some kind of bedroom.

"Well now that I can see I guess I can get up and look around now."  I say as I get out of the bed and walk slowly to the door.

As I get close to the door I hear voices, they sound like Twilight and her friends only, they sound as if they are arguing.  I open the door a crack and listen in.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to keep him here?"

"What!  Rainbow Dash I'm surprised at you, I thought you trusted him because he healed you!"

"Yeah well, that was before I found out he is a raging psycho monster thing!  Besides Rarity, I thought you of all ponies would think he was, what a brute?"

"The only reasons I trusted him is because 1: I didn't want to repeat the incident with Zecora, you know how we treated her like a plague!  And 2: because he looked so distraught about hurting you."

"I think he's very nice, he just has some... issues to work out that's all."

"Of course you would say that Fluttershy."

"Well at least she is givin him a chance Rainbow!  Shadow is not just some varmint ya chase out of a barn!  The poor feller has no where else to go!"

"Yeah but what if he goes berserko freako on us!  I don't know about you guys but I for one don't want to see Ponyville wiped off the map!"

"Why can't you give him a chance Rainbow!"

"He already used up his chance Twi, I'm gonna be watching him every chance I get and the slightest sign of something wrong I'll dive bomb him!"

I hear a window open and close, so I presume that Rainbow Dash left.

I stand their, just stand their leaning against the door and wall.

No, No, NO!  I thought that it would be different here.  I thought... that I finally found friends, and a home.

lost in my thoughts I didn't notice me putting too much weight on the door until it is too late.  I fall out the door and down the stairs with a series of loud and painful bumps and bangs.  Finally I land at the bottom of the stairs in a heap with everypony except Rainbow Dash staring at me.

I groan in pain before pulling myself to my feet.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow.  Crap that hurt."

"Are you ok?"  Fluttershy asks as she trots towards me.

I feel her mane as she supports me a little with her head.

"I'm fine, I'm fine Fluttershy, Just a little sore."  I say wincing.

"How was your nap Shadow?"  Twilight says with a tired smile.

"It was fine, until I heard the yelling."

"Oh darling did we disturb you with our little, squabble?"  Rarity says with a little sheepish grin.

"Well, I kinda over heard..."

"How much did you hear darling?"

"....All of it."

"Oh no you poor thing, Rainbow didn't mean it.  I'm sure she's just upset."  Says Fluttershy.

"She thinks that she can't trust you, even though it wasn't your fault that you went bonkers." Applejack says walking over to me with a smile.

"The thing is, it is my fault.  I should have tried harder at controlling the curse.  She's probably not the only one that hates me now."  I say with a load sigh.

"No!  Ya beat it remember?  You stopped the curse from taking control of you to protect us!  Now that is the mark of a good pon--- err what do call your self again?"  Applejack says scratching her head.

I giggle a little at her little mess up.  "It's person, yeah I guess beating the curse does make me good."  I say, a smile beginning to grow on my face.

"Hey since your up do ya wanna help with your re-scheduled welcome to Ponyville party!?"  Pinkie asks me as she is in my face, with a huge smile of course.

"Yeah sure, I got some awesome music that I think most of you would like, that is if your into electronic music."

"Awww yeah I love that stuff!  It's my jam!"  Pinkie says with a little dance.

I can't help but smile more.  Maybe I can still fix things, just have to make sure that the curse dosen't resurface.  "Sure Pinks, I can help with the party."

Maybe this can still be my new home.

THREE DAYS LATER

I am sleeping in my bed when out of no where I hear a familiar voice yelling from downstairs.  "SWEETIE BELLE!"  I hear Rarity scream with shush malice that it actually sends a shiver down my spine.

I better go play referee to make sure she doesn't kill her, again. I mentally grumble as I get out of bed and change my clothes.

"Look what have you done to my dress!"  I can here the purple maned unicorn rage.

Ugh what could that little filly have done now?  I think with a yawn as I decend the stairs.

"I-I didn't mean too!  I didn't now it would catch on fire!"  I hear the small filly whimper out.

As I come to the bottom of the stairs I finally see the sight of the distress that awoke me from my slumber.  Rarity glaring at Sweetie Belle who is cowering under her sisters gaze and what I assume to be the remains of a badly burned dress.

"Can someone please explain what the heck is going on here?"  I ask while stretching my back with a series of load cracks.

"Oh um Shadow I had no idea we were being that load, I'm sorry if I woke you."  Rarity barely manages to say before Sweetie Belle squeaks out,

"I don't know what happened it just caught fire!"

"Sweetie Belle it's rude to interrupt!"

"Ok, ok!"  I shout to silence them both.

"Rarity, please calm down and Sweetie Belle, please explain what happened."  Giving each of them a nod they both comply.

"Well I was bored just drawing and then I got this wonderful idea!  What if I help Rarity with her dress making!  So I picked out my favorite, drew out a design and then tried to improve the dress!"

I guess Rarity still hadn't cooled down because next thing I know she asks in a still threatening tone, "And just how did it catch on fire?"

"Weeeeeeeell, I used those special stones over their and I guess they burned it."  With a point of her hoof Sweetie revealed some very interesting gems.

"Oh my now that explains it!  You used these sunstones!"  Rarity says while smiling and picking them up with her magic.

"Ok now what is a sunstone?"

"It is a magical stone that burns anything that is not enchanted to be fire proof."  Rarity states as she carries the sunstones to a chest and drops them in.

"Oh and that is how the dress got burned huh?"  I eye Sweetie Belle with a little smile.

"Yeah I guess, I just didn't know what they were.  I just wanted to help Rarity and make a pretty dress."  Sweetie Belle looks like she is about to cry.

Dammit!  Why do they have to be so cute!

"Well you didn't know, but next time you might want to ask Rarity or another pony before you do something that you are not sure of, ok?"  I pat her on the head a little and mess up her mane a bit getting a giggle back.

"Isn't that right Rarity?"  I look over to the fashion pony as she trots over.

"Yes, Sweetie if you wanted to improve the dress all you had to do was tell me."  And with a smile she sweeps her younger sister into a warm hug.

"Oh darnnit Shadow now I have to fix Sweetie's mane because you sent it askew."

"Oh come on Rarity!"

"No buts!"

And that was that, another argument solved.  Must be the tenth one since I moved in two days ago.  I have a home for now at least, living in the Carousel Boutique with Rarity and Sweetie Belle.  I admit they argue a whole lot but nothing that I haven't been able to diffuse.

I can get used to living here.

"Ow Rarity stop brushing so hard!"