My eyes are closed. My mind is calm. The wind is running over my body, it’s chilling but pleasant. The smell of flowers and grass is surrounding me.
I open my eyes. Slowly. I look around. A green sea is extending in all direction. if I look south I can make the borders of the Everfree Forest.
I look up and I’m blinded for a moment. Today is sunny and warm. Solitary cottonballs lazily fluctuate in the blue.
It’s been two month since I found myself in Equestria. At the beginning it has been hard for me. Ponies wouldn’t trust me. They saw me as dangerous. But now…
“For how long do you plant to stand there?” a tomboyish voice says from my left. I turn around and see her.
Rainbow Dash.
A slender but tender cyan body. The multicolored mane. The smug grin on her face. She is standing there in all her majestic beauty.
“You said you were ready to race. Are you chickening out?” she says with a smile.
She was the first to talk to me when I came here. The first I befriended. The one I fell in in love with. She sprints out, without a warning, and I chase her with a smile on my face. I feel the grass under my bare feet as I run.
She is way faster than me, but slows down. She allows me to catch her. We roll on the ground playfully. I embrace her. She nuzzle my neck, as she did countless times before. I hug her more tightly.
She whispers to my ear.
“I lov
*********************************************
sure I can get some really hot pics of her” says Russell drawing wide arches with his hands. He’s looking at me with his malicious smile. His usual face.
Xenophile. Self insert fics. Shipping fics
“I met with this Japanese guy yesterday evening. He works at the shipping department, but let me tell you” and he shows me proudly the permanent blister on his hand “he’s a true artist when it comes to clop”. Wink.
Russell is the man who works beside me at the assembly line. He is the living proof that Tissot was absolutely right. As thin as a nail. As pale as a ghost. He’s also my best friend.
I bring a spoon full of soup to my mouth. The best styrofoam soup around here. Not that I’ve ever eaten styrofoam, but I’m sure it must taste like this. As I lazily munch it I notice I’m missing two fingers on my left hand. Curious, I remember of having lost only one.
“Who are we talking about?”
Russell looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “Man… weren’t you listening? I’m talking about that supervisor babe at C-2”. Knowing smile. Accomplice smile.
“The unicorn”
“Yes, the unicorn. Orange and red palette. Arrogant look. And that butt… man I would give away all my collection for that butt”. With collection he obviously means his clop stash.
“Then this Japanese guy, this Mr Tiger Roll, he said he could draw her in whatever pose we like. I wanted to see one of his other works first. And sweet Celestia, sweet fucking Celestia I swear it’s graphic board level”.
Derpibooru. Tumblr
His salivation has increased to the point that a tendril is reaching the table. I could bet one year worth of wage he has a boner.
We call this phenomenon ‘r34’ for obvious reasons. You see a pony that gets your engine running and find an artist that knows this pony. He gets your bits and you get to see your dream mare doing all the dirty stuff you can think about. With this method if you are good at drawing you can live as a king.
“How much?”
“He said 15 bits. I can put 10 if you want” he says with pleading eyes.
“Five bits is still too much. Playpony is two bits and a cheap whore is around ten. I prefer to get my cock sucked for real than clopping.” I finish eating my soup. “Plus, we decided to buy Dragon for the weekend and I really need it.”
“But… but with a pic you can clop multiple times, and Playpony is not arousing anymore it’s just full ads and mares I don’t know and i’ll never know. Trust me this is an investment.”
Before i can respond a piercing ring echoes inside the enormous cafeteria. A pegasus guard yells “Lunchbreak is over!! Back to work!!”
We get up slowly and without a word we head to our ‘nice’ and ‘comfortable’ spot. Simple gears in the factory. For the next for five hours I will be just a machine that does diligently his job. Together with hundreds of drones like me. Every movement is codified. I could hardly describe my job because I’m hardly there.
Welcome to fucking Equestria.
********************************
Welcome to Equestria.
The cheerful and colorful character are standing over two ponies. A mare and a stallion, both with unnaturally large and bright smiles. Around them the landscape of a town that looks like Ponyville.
This poster is looking at me from the wall in front of me. It’s a pretty standard posters, even if MLP posters usually have an illustration or a fanart of the Mane 6 or something like that. This one has instead two random background ponies.
Background Pony. Lyra Heartstring. Applejack
It is not a drawing though. It’s a real authentical photograph. A proof, so to say, that Equestria is real and we are really able to go there.
Yeah, you heard me. Equestria, My Little Pony, the Mane Six they all exist. Not in this universe of course. But they exist nevertheless. The first “contact” was registered in 2016 by some scientists at CERN. In the beginning they believed to have discovered just a random alternate universe, but after sanding some signals and messages across the portal they found out that it was indeed the MLP-universe. I know, it sounds like a joke. But it’s the truth. God must be a real prankster.
03/11/2017: they managed to send matter across the portal
13/06/2018: a rat was sent from our universe to theirs. And survived.
22/11/2018: the project “Welcome to Equestria” was created and the first human was sent there.
I know these dates by heart. Because I followed every single news on the Internet. Just like millions of other bronies around the world. The fanbase was starting to fade in 2016, but then all this happened and, guys, things changed. New bronies started to pop out like mushrooms, “MLP” was the most searched word on Google and everything was being slowly ponified.
Really, the world went crazy.
Now it is starting to calm down a little, but the hype is still high. Especially after Welcome to Equestria. In the past three month 300,000 emigrated.
Friendship is Optimal. CelestAI
And two weeks ago I finally made my decision. So here I am: in lounge, with a poster looking at me and a fat guy with a Rainbow Dash shirt pressing against me. Just like on a plane the fat guy had to take a seat beside me.
Sure he is sweaty. And it’s not even Summer…
…this is stereotypical. Maybe he has even Cheeto dust on his fingers. Let me check...
I’m interrupted by a voice calling my name. I silently thank them and I walk in the office.
“Good morning!!” yells an appariscent suit with a man inside.
The Anchorman. Soul Goodman
“Hi…”
“Great to have you here, boy,” he shakes my hand and sits down. His hand is really soft.
“Let’s get down to business, shall we? You want to emigrate right?”
“Yes”
“Fantastic. I love resolute people. Most of the guys that come here are not even sure about it and want me to convince them. You are a breath of fresh air” Fake smile. “Let me assure you that the process is 100% safe, so don’t worry. You’ll have to be at our lab in a week. Empty stomach. No no it’s safe but you could feel the urge to vomit. Some minor amnesia is also to be expected.”
“Now let’s talk about money. Emigration costs 100.000 dollars, plus any money you want to bring with you for the first time. I advise you for about 10.000 dollars. This sum will be sent to you after you reach your destination.”
110.000 bucks
I don’t have so much money. He knows it. He pretend that I can get my wallet right now and take out all of it. I tell him the truth.
“Well, that is not a problem. Not a problem at all. We have a deal with Equestrian industries that was made to help people like you. You pay, or your family pays 45.000 dollars now and then you work once you get there to extinguish the debt. How does it sound?”
His words are pure silk.
“Trust me it’s all the best for you. You’ll have to work there in any case, for the first, let’s say half a year, you’ll be paid less and that’s it.” He clapped his hands. “Then you are a free man in the magical land of Equestria, where everypony is happy.” Wink.
I can afford to pay 45.000. And he is right: everyone has to work. I would have to work here on Earth too. It doesn’t look like a bad deal.
After less than ten seconds I’m writing my signature on a piece of paper. I lay down the pen.
He extends his soft hand. I grab it.
“Welcome to Equestria”.
