Princess-Con

by corperalking

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Twilight Sparkle, Random, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Princess Luna, Princess Cadance
Length: 3241

It's Equestria's annual meet-up of royalty, and boy, we have quite a turn-out here tonight, Mares and Gentlecolts! This reporter wonders what hind of hijynx go on in there, maybe one of our staff will get wings and find out...

It is Twilight Sparkle's very first Princess-Con, the annual met-up of Equestrian Royalty, and she couldn't be more nervous. I mean, sure Princess Celestia told her it would be an informal event, and sure, Princess Cadence told her that Princess-Con was purely for fun, away from the prying cameras of reporters, but still. What if she spilled punch all over Princess Luna's new dress? What if she told a bad joke and everyone stopped having fun to feel bad for her. WHAT IF THIS WAS ALL A SETUP FOR A POP QUIZ ON BEING A PRINCESS! Twilight hadn't learned nearly enough to pass a quiz. Deep breaths, Twilight, the chariot is landing right now. Princess-Con in T-5 Minutes.

Holy cow! The support for this story! Like, 15 favorites already! Wow!

Published 2015-04-15 00:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-27 00:40:57 UTC

No horn, No wings, No service.

Deep breaths, Twilight, the chariot is landing right now. Princess-Con in T-5 Minutes. You can do this. It's just a party, and living in the same town as Pinkie pie means you're a party veteran... Although Pinkie's parties didn't include Princess Celestia silently watching me, JUDGING ME! Maybe this is all an elaborate setup for a pop quiz...

My train of thought was snapped by my faithful assistant. As I was panicking about quizzes, Spike poked me in the foreleg.

"Uh, Twilight? You gonna go?"

I raised a hoof to my barrel and extended it, breathing deeply as I did. Scientifically I knew it was simply focusing on something other then my stress that helped me calm down, but even that was distracting me from my stress and that helped me calm down, and...

"It'll be okay, Twilight. Go on. You don't want to keep Celestia waiting."

I once again turned to my faithful assistant. Once again he was being helpful. Saving him from that research lab was the best decision I ever made. I started to whimper, I felt like as soon as I left his company I would be alone, to sink or swim.

"Please come with me Spike, at least to the gate"

Spike rolled his eyes but smiled. "Okay, Twilight, but you know I can't come in with you. It's like TAM-O-NEE all over again."

As Spike hopped up onto my back and started petting my mane to help me feel better, I remembered TAM-O-NEE. The Annual Meeting Of Non-Equine Equestrians. Spike was terrified to go in alone, so I had to walk him up to the gate too. I remember he was scared that he wouldn't get along with the other Non-Equine residents of Equestria. I also remember him moaning for hours after it was over about how he wanted it to be longer. Apparently there were quite a few Griffons, and he befriended one about his own age named Prickle. He also told me there were quite a few tall, bipedal creatures who insisted on petting everything, though I'm not sure where they could have come from.

I looked around as we marched up to the entrance to Princess-Con. There were thousands of ponies gathered around, cheering and taking photos, but respectfully leaving plenty of space for me to walk straight to the door. As I reached the half-way mark, a red Crystal Pegasus mare with a microphone started to approach me, rambling into her mic. I recognized her as Crystal News Network's head reporter, Silver Scoop.

"Oh! Look over there! It's Equestria's newest princess, Twilight Sparkle. As you can see she is garbed in an outfit similar to her coronation gown, but with less frills, designed more for comfort then style. Pray tell, princess, where did you find your fabulous outfit?"

Normally, I would ignore the press, but when presented with a chance to advertise Rarity's business to every crystal pony with a radio, why would I resist?

"Oh, this old thing?" I asked, in a formal way that Rarity had been teaching me to use when addressing the media, "Why, my good friend Rarity made it for me. Actually, she was the one who made my coronation dress, too. I recommend her winter line to anyone who wants to stay warm and look classy doing so."

Having successfully distracted Silver from the subject of me, I quickly added "I must be going, but..."

I levitated Spike off my back and placed him gently down in front of her.

"My assistant here would be happy to answer any questions you feel the need to ask."

As I trotted away, giving spike an "I owe you one" look, I heard Silver start up again, "Mister Spike! Two times savior of the Crystal Empire! How does it feel to return to the scene of your greatest triumph..."

The door in front of me slammed open, and I heard my name called.

"TWILIGHT!"

"CADENCE!"

"SUNSHINE, SUNSHINE, LADYBUGS AWAKE! CLAP YOUR HOOVES AND DO A LITTLE SHAKE!"

"Come in, come in," bubbled Cadence, gesturing with her hoof, "Before Luna drinks all the punch!"

As I stepped inside, I saw Princess Celestia and Princess Luna both goofing around. Celestia was dipping everything that wasn't nailed down, including bits of crystal, a chair and actual nails, into the fondue fountain, and Luna was thrashing about on the dance floor with a lampshade on her head. I was reminded of Spike at my first Pinkie Pie party. Instantly I began to relax.

Princess Celestia turned to me and greeted, "Twilight Sparkle! So nice to see you!"

Instinct kicked in, and I bowed to the floor.

"Princess!"

Celestia slipped her hoof under my chin and pulled me back up.

"No need for that now," she observed, gesturing to my wings.

"SORRY!"

She chuckled, and continued, "No need to apologize."

"SORRY!"

"Somehow I feel that we've done this before."

"SORRY!"

I was blushing redder then Pinkie Pie when somepony breaks a pinkie Promise.

Celestia turned to me and proclaimed "In any case, Princess-Con is an informal event. For six hours a year we can be just normal ponies. No reporters, no courts, and no titles." Celestia's face fell into a grave mask, and she went on in a somber tone, "You have broken one of the sacred rules of Princess-Con. For that, you must be punished most severely."

I do not exaggerate in the slightest when I say I feared for my life. By this point Cadence and Luna had stood behind Celestia, their faces grave too. Cadence even stared at me with pity, like you would a friend on death row.

Celestia's voice rang out like an executioner, "FOR THAT, YOU WILL SUFFER DEARLY! COMMENCE THE TICKLING!"

Suddenly my dress dissapeared, probably onto some coat rack somewhere, and the the three princesses advanced, tiaras glistening in the light streaming in through the crystalline window, hair flowing in the gentle breeze. It was like a scene from one of Dash's terrible moving pictures, the three alicorns, the pink one ahead, the other, larger ones behind, grinning in a way that, to an observer, may look friendly. All of then decked out in royal accessories, only for them all to be flung aside as the three Alicorns dived at the helpless intruder, reaching out their wings and tickling her underneath the joints of her wings.

I added that to my mental list of things to be careful of with my new wings. I learned, right then and there, that the base of the joints that attach my wings to my body are incredibly ticklish. Spasms wracked my body as the merciless Alicorns tickled relentlessly. In a desperate attempt to stop it I snapped my wings shut, but the evil beasts simply flipped me onto my back and tickled my tummy. To add insult to injury, Celestia even leaned down and blew a wet, sloppy raspberry on my poor tum.

Perhaps minutes passed, perhaps hours, but eventually they stopped.

After my punishment had been served, the activities progressed as normal. There was a swimming race, in which Luna demolished everyone and Cadence and I tied for last. There was a crystal flugelhorn, but we had an argument about who got to play it first, and so we decided to put it aside. Then there was a time where we all just relaxed on bean-bag chairs and gossiped like school-fillies.

"And then she just looked at him with these big eyes and said 'Please don't hurt me Mister Starswirl, sir'"

We all cracked up laughing. I turned to Luna, and between bursts of laughter, I managed to wheeze, "Was... Was Clover the Clever really like that, Luna?"

Luna looked at me with these big eyes and replied "Verily, Twilight Sparkle. We know this well, for we were in Clover the Clever's grade at school. A natural disaster caged inside of a magical prodigee, she was. Twas no surprise to me when Princess Platinum requested her to be her assistant."

We all looked at Cadence. "Your turn," I stated.

Cadence immediately blushed.

"Well, um..."

We all gathered closer, and she whispered something to us I will not repeat here.

"SHINING DID WHAT?" I cried, flabbergasted.

Cadence was redder then Applejack's barn now, but she gulped and mumbled, "Yeah. Still, we swore them to secrecy. We had to throw away the tablecloth, though."

We all laughed, uproariously and chaotically.

"This has been great, you guys," I gushed, "I'm having so much fun!"

"Princess-Con is always fun," replied Cadence, "It's been fun ever since Luna came back!"

BANG!

The door flew open so forcefully it came loose from it's hinges and slid across the floor. Smoke poured in like a fog machine on steroids.

Celestia turned even whiter then normal.

"No way," Celestia worried, "That shouldn't be possible. Anypony without both a horn and wings can't get through the force-field into princess-Con."

"But I have both of those," stated a buzzing voice from he doorway, "So why wasn't I invited?"

I recognized that voice. Cadence also recognized that voice.

"QUEEN CHRYSALIS!" we shouted in unison.

"Yes?" asked the Queen, as she stepped out of the mist.

"How did you even GET here?" Cadence asked.

Chrysalis rolled her eyes, grumbling, "If you thought I couldn't fly across Equestria, you sorely underestimate my power."

Celestia pushed past me, horn glowing, and asked, "But, how did you get into the building?"

Chrysalis rolled her eyes, grumbling, "If you thought I couldn't slip past an average-sized angry mob and a battalion of Honor Guards, you sorely underestimate my power."

Luna pulled up besides Celestia, her horn also glowing, and asked, "Impressive. One last question. Can you give us a reason not to unleash fire and ice upon you in a hail of destruction?"

Chrysalis smiled, and hissed, "I can't. However, I haven't eaten for three months, and I just flew across Equestria and snuck past several thousand ponies. In my weakened state, any attack you might do to me would almost certainly kill me. Do you really want to do that? And in front of dear Twilignt, no less. Tssk tssk, Celestia, such violence..."

I stepped forward, trembling, but still moving, and asked "Why risk death to attend a party? You know you can't defeat us."

At this, Chrysalis slumped over.

"Because I'm tired of people calling me a Villain, and being mean to me," she ranted, "I mean, sure I attacked Equestria, but WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO? Let my poor changelings starve to death? I admit, I went a bit power-hungry towards the end, but face it Celestia, it was attack you or perish. I just couldn't bear walking past any more grieving mothers clutching the lifeless corpses of their larvae, screaming lamentations to the Spinners. Do you want to know how many of my subjects died before I decided to attack you? Or how many more died screaming from the fall when you blasted us into the air? I'm just SICK of being called the VILLAIN! I did what I had to, and you would have done the same."

Chrysalis paused in her rant to take some deep breaths, but I know I'd heard all I needed to. I trotted up to her and proclaimed, "I suspected you weren't really a villain."

Chrysalis opened one eye slightly, as if asking me to elaborate.

"It was your plan," I continued, "It was terrible. You threatened Canterlot to put it into high alert when you could easily have just snuck straight in, you did nothing to stop my brother from creating his shield even though you could have, and you turned your back to all of us after we told you we had a plan. More then that, your plan to penetrate the shield was to have your changelings literally bash their heads against it. All that leads me to believe that you had no practice at being a villain, and your actions were done out of desperation."

Chrysalis chortled at that.

"I don't know whether to be offended or delighted," she said.

Cadence, having gotten over the shock, rushed over and hugged Chrysalis before she could react.

"Of course you're welcome, as long as you don't try to hurt anypony," Cadence sobbed, still crying over the thought of dead infants.

Celestia actually performed a double-take there.

"Are you sure?" she asked, "Remember, whether or not it was for a good reason, she did imprison you and brainwash your husband..."

"I would say that Chrysalis's actions were justified," commented Luna, "if she is, in fact, telling the truth."

"But we don't know that for sure! All we have is some vague assumptions from Twilight."

At this, we all backed away from Chrysalis.

"Truth Spell?" asked Cadence.

"Truth Spell." confirmed Celestia.

We all hit Chrysalis with as powerful a truth spell as we could muster. She didn't back away or even try to dodge at all.

"Now," puffed Celestia, "Tell me exactly what happened on the day you decided to invade Equestria."

Chrysalis took a deep, buzzing breath and began, "I woke up in the morning and just lay there for a time. Truth be told I felt bad about delaying, but I couldn't muster the energy to get up, I was so hungry. Still, after a time I managed to rise and went down to the hive to check up on my changelings. Things were still bad. There was at least a dozen less then the previous day, a dozen faces I'd never see again. I don't know why but that day it angered me more then normal. I gave the usual speech to calm everyling down and left.

I decided to take some time to myself to calm down, so I left the hive to get some fresh air. Looking around at the sandy wasteland around me I saw in the distance a green, fertile land of plenty, and I felt jealous. I wondered what made ponies so special that they have plenty while my people starve. I believe it was then, Celestia, when I decided to attack."

Chrysalis turned to me and asked, "Twilight, I wish to ask you one thing. If your friends were dying and some innocent party had the antidote, some group you've never met before, say, the Minotaurs. Say the Minotaurs had the antidote, but you had to hurt them to get it, would you?"

I thought about it seriously for a while. I heard the conversation go on, but it was merely white noise to me. I was so entrapped by the question.

Would I hurt strangers to save my friends? An entire race of them? I tried to deceive myself, but in the end the answer appeared to me, clear as the water from a mountain spring.

"Nothing would stand in my way."

Everyone turned to me, each with a unique look on their face. Chrysalis looked at me with agreement, Celestia with shock, Luna with cool acceptance, and Cadance with a blank, dumbfounded expression.

"She is telling the truth," mused Chrysalis, "This one would tear the heavens themselves apart to save her friends. Or her dragon. Or you, Celestia."

Celestia's face changed to a mix of shock, embarrassment, fear, and was that pride? I'll never know because she got a grip of herself quickly, returning to her usual serene mask.

"So there's the situation," summed up Chrysalis, "I've made my case. I'm weak, tired and completely out of magic. You're well rested, strong, and so full of power you could vaporize me in an instant. You hold all the cards here. What's it gonna be?"

Celestia turned, stalking away with a glower on her face. Then, quick as a flash, she turned around, ran back, booped Chrysalis on the nose and sang "You're it!"

The day proceeded as usual from then on. Chrysalis turned out to have a large supply of insect-related jokes, "For cheering up my subjects", and she was surprisingly good at snooker, "Because it's really quite similar to Shellball. You know I made the shellball team when I was only 40...". And as the day progressed, Chrysalis seemed to gain more and more energy, as if the joy and fun the others felt in her presence was feeding her like their love would.

As the convention was ending, Celestia turned to Chrysalis as they were leaving and remarked, "You know, maybe there's hope for a peaceful allegiance between us after all."

She regretted saying that as they trotted outside and saw the crystal empire under siege by changelings. Ponies were being chased in the streets, and already there were a large number of sickly green pods in the courtyard containing ponies struggling to free themselves.

Chrysalis turned to them and smiled.

"And when changelings no longer need ponies for sustenance, I'll take you up on that offer. Like it or not, we've been forced to be enemies. Know that it's out of no desire to hurt that I do this. Know that I cannot let my subjects starve."

I turned to her and replied, "And when changelings no longer need to attack us then maybe we can be friends. But know that we cannot let our ponies be captured and enslaved."

"Then it looks like, for now, we're enemies. Still, it's nice to know that someday there may be peace."

We all turned to her, and none of us were happy.

"Sorry," we all whispered, before blasting her square in the face. We tied her up and set about rounding up her minions.

After we were done, Spike came running up to me. He asked, "So Twilight, how was Princess-Con?"

I laughed.

"Spike, you wouldn't believe me if I told you."

Author's Note

Every Fanfic Writer needs at least one one-shot. And this is mine.

It's entirely up to your imagination as to what Shining did that involved several ponies and ruined a tablecloth. OR WERE THEY EVEN PONIES? DUN DUN DUN!

Don't spam my comments with innuendos or I will delete them.

Yes, I know this got fairly dark towards the end, but when i decided to just write and see where it took me, that was where it took me.

F**ck it, I want to write a sequel so I will.

:SILLY BONUS CHAPTER: CNN Formal Apology

We at Crystal News Network apologize for any misunderstanding our latest broadcast may have caused. Our statements about our staff achieving "Wings" was not meant to imply the pegasus members of our staff were not capable of ascension, nor was it meant to imply that about pegasi in general. We at CNN firmly believe in equality amongst all ponies, and believe that all have an equal chance to ascend with the right effort. Even our beloved Princess Mi Amore Cadenza was born a Pegasus, and none of us here are ignorant enough to disregard her and her accomplishments. We at CNN will not tolerate discrimination of any kind, under any circumstances, whether it be to a fellow pony or to anyone else. If anyone was offended by our latest broadcast, we deeply apologize for any perceived discrimination.

And now, we have face-to-face with one of the biggest names in The Crystal Empire! She's smart! She's beautiful! And she's oh so charismatic! Mares and Gentlecolts, this is Opal Sunset!

*applause*

Author's Note

I DON'T EVEN KNOW DON'T JUDGE ME!