An Anti-Brony Adventure

by ThatBronyGuy

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Random, Adventure
Length: 12859

An anti-brony suffers a mysterious bike accident and ends up in his worst nightmare, Equestria.

Cave is a sixteen-year old, airsoft-playing, anti-brony who constantly gets annoyed by all of the conversations he hears regarding My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic from his friends who recently became bronies. As if things couldn't get any worse, he suffers a mysterious bike accident while on his way to an airsoft game and ends up in the fresh-air smelling, sugary sweet land known as Equestria. Now, he must find out how he got there, especially a way to escape the land of ponies, or else he just may be stuck there forever! As much as he is very ticked off to be stranded in his worst nightmare, he may, at some point, realize that his brony friends may be right about the show after all. But for now, it's him, his airsoft gun, a bunch of girly ponies, and one heck-of-an adventure.

NOTE: The story takes place BEFORE the return of the Crystal Empire. Characters will be added as soon as they appear in the story.

Rated: Teen for Extreme Action, Suggestive Themes, and Violence

Published 2012-05-09 13:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-11-13 22:54:48 UTC

The Accident (Prologue)

Prologue
Cave Allan Kojack
Airsoft Arena in North Carolina
18 Hours Before Accident

"Cave! Behind you!" yelled John. Cave looked behind and saw three enemies that have spotted him and opened fire.

"Ah geez!" shouted Cave as he dove behind a tree for cover. Using his FN-SCAR with a holographic sight, Cave and his friends, John and Connor, returned fire at the enemies; two of them yelling, "Hit!" and the other retreated. The trio continued moving forward through the forest towards the objective. It was a Capture-the-Flag airsoft game with thirty players on each side and they were getting close. They were tactically moving forward until they encountered a large group of seven people up ahead. The three quickly ducked with their backs against the grassy hill.

"Should we open fire to drive them back?" suggested Connor. When a person was hit, they must yell "hit" and retreat towards their base before going back into battle.

"That would just make the game more difficult because then, they'll be near the flag," replied John.

"Well, then what should we-," all of a sudden, a barrage of pellets came soaring over their heads. "Crap! They know we're here!"

The opposing team accidentally saw Connor's red cap and started pinning them down.

"I told you that silly red cap will blow our cover!" said John; hitting Connor on the shoulder.

"Hey! Red caps are cool! If I were you, I'd deal with it!" replied Connor while he was returning fire with his Tokyo Marui G36.

"Guys, I have an idea!" yelled Cave. He took out one of his smoke grenades, activated it, and chucked it at the opposing fire team.

"Now guys! Move off to the right!" Cave directed. With the help of the smoke, they managed to escape their predicament without being seen. They were now in an area with tall bushes and proceeded with the mission while checking for any more enemies.

"Good thinking. We could've gotten owned back there," commented John.

"I could've done the same thing," replied Connor.

"Yeah right. Look where your camouflage strategy with that hat of yours got us."

Cave chuckled at their little argument as they pressed forward. They were calmly strolling towards the enemy flag until something zoomed right in between John and Connor. They stopped, ducked, and scanned the area; but they couldn't see anyone. All was silent except for the constant rustling of leaves up in the tree canopies. Cave was ready to get up until he heard the impact of a pellet right behind him.

"Aaugh! I'm hit! I'm hit!" Cave looked behind him and saw Connor on the ground. He was shot by a sniper.

"Guys...you must...go on...without me," said Connor as if he was about to die.

"Darn it Connor! This isn't real warfare! Get your rear end back to base and try to rendezvous with us after!" commanded John.

"Geez, I was just playing around," Connor replied back. After he left, more pellets were shot at Cave and John. The sniper has alerted the others of their location. Enemy players started to arrive guns blazing.

"Oh shoot! Run!" shouted Cave. John kept running for the flag while Cave was following him and giving him cover fire. But it failed when at a hundred and fifty yards away from the flag site, John was hit in the left shoulder. Cave had no choice but to leave him behind for the flag.

"You're almost there! Don't stop!" yelled John in the background. Cave was sprinting like he was running for his life. He could hear the enemy chasing right behind him. He found a rather large area of tall grass and decided to quickly dash through it. The tall green blades gently smacked his face and their swaying motion obstructed his sight of what was in front of him. After a sense of relief from regaining his sense of direction, Cave managed to lose the enemy from the grass and made it to the flag site. It was poised on a wooden stand in the middle of an open area in the forest where there was no trees. The blue team's base was about a hundred feet away from it so the enemies were still close. He silently checked his surroundings as he tip-toed for the flag. When he grabbed it, he smiled as if he had accomplished something. The mark of victorious ambition now lied in his hand. But right when he was about to make a run for it, ten enemies of the blue team came out from hiding behind the trees surrounding the flag site and aimed their guns at Cave. He was completely surrounded and could not make an escape.

"Aww. You little camping sons of-," said Cave before they fired. Red team lost.

After the game, Cave and the rest of the players went back to the pavilion to pack up and go home. While placing his equipment in his messenger bag made of jean material, Cave overheard a conversation coming from John and Connor.

"Hey, did you see the latest episode of My Little Pony yesterday?" asked John.

"Heck yeah! It was freaking awesome! That was the first time I ever saw Rainbow Dash perform the Buccaneer Blaze!" replied Connor.

"Dude, no one has ever actually seen what the Buccaneer Blaze looked like until that episode. That episode of My Little Pony is probably the best one I have ever-"

"Okay guys. Really?" Cave interrupted. "I still can't believe you people actually like My Little Pony. You guys first saw the show, like, two months ago and now instead of hearing MANLY things like video games and movies, I hear tons of conversations from you two about a show that's meant for FIVE YEAR OLD GIRLS! Do you realize how embarrassing that is? I don't wanna have people think that I watch the show because I sit with you guys at lunch in school. Seriously guys, what makes it so interesting? What do you two have to say for yourselves?"

John and Connor looked at each other, John whispered something to Connor, they both nodded and looked back at Cave.

"Three words: Love and Tolerate!" said Connor and John at the same time. Cave stood there confused.

"You see, Cave, to us, My Little Pony is a show that anyone can watch no matter what its designated age-group is," said John.

"Yeah!" agreed Connor, "And we're not afraid of anyone that criticizes us for liking the show. We're proud bronies and also not afraid to show it!"

"Well, to me, if a television company makes a t.v. show targeting little girls in the first place and promoting a franchise that's also for little girls, then the show is for little girls!" Cave replied, "And although I may never understand the whole psychology of this brony phenomenon, even though I tried seeing one episode and it ended up nearly torturing me to death after twenty seconds into it, you guys can't force me to like it!"

"Dude, we're not forcing you to like it just because we're friends," said Connor, "Honestly, we don't care if you don't like the show either; although if you did, it would be pretty sweet; but that's not the case. We can all still get along despite our interests."

"That, I know," replied Cave, "The issue is, I just don't know if I'll ever understand the whole meaning of this brony thing at all. Anyway, I'll see you guys later."

Cave got on his bike and left the airsoft site while everyone else was waiting to be picked up. The rest of his day went normally and began to wonder about what was going to happen tomorrow when him and his friends go through another game of airsoft. He chose to forget about their dispute over their "unusual" interest. They were still his friends and he knew better.

Cave Kojack
The Kojacks' House
9 Minutes Before Accident

Cave was getting ready to leave for yet another airsoft game with his friends at noon. He had packed his equipment in his messenger bag and strapped it over his right shoulder with the bag on his left side. He's also dressed in long, dark-blue jeans, a regular-blue t-shirt, black sunglasses, black fingerless gloves, an Armitron digital watch, black and white sneakers, and a jean jacket. Before he left, he waved goodbye to his parents and his sister, Claire, who was of the same age as he is, and gave his dog, Raleigh, a border collie, a good pet on the head. As he left, he went on his bike and took off; leaving his suburban neighborhood behind and onto the streets.

He was taking his usual way to the arena; around the Appalachian Mountains and to the forest preserve. It was cloudy but there was still enough sunlight to see. He noticed that there wasn't that many vehicles on the road but he still remained on the road's shoulder. He was preparing to turn right when, all of a sudden, a bright light flashed at Cave's eyes and caused him to go over a pothole that drove him off course. He crashed into one of the road barriers and he fell over the edge of a one hundred foot cliff. Oh crap!, he thought, I'm gonna get owned by gravity! As he fell head first, he saw, at the bottom of the mountain, flashes of lightning that were accumulating at the middle. Cave found that strange but didn't think much of it. He closed his eyes, held his arms in front of his face, and braced for impact. At that point there was a brief moment of white and then blackness.

Cave Kojack
Everfree Forest, Equestria
2 Minutes After Accident

Cave opened his eyes and found himself lying on his back. He raised himself to a sitting position with his arms supporting him behind his back. He looked around and noticed that he was in some sort of cartoon-like forest where the air smelled very fresh with a hint of sugar.

"Okay, this is weird," Cave said to himself, "Either I survived that fall and I'm currently in a coma and my mind created a cartoon world for me to live in until I wake up, or I just traveled to another dimension." While Cave was observing his surroundings, he had an unusual feeling that someone was watching him. He turned and saw a glimpse of a pink figure that quickly disappeared into the bushes before he got a clear look at it. He looked around in all directions and still saw that pink figure looking at him and disappearing again. Curious of the mysterious world that he was in, Cave got up, gathered his things and started walking with his SCAR in his hands while having no idea where he was going. While Cave was sauntering, he saw a glimpse of another figure off to his right but it wasn't pink at all. It looked as if it had blonde hair and it also seemed human-like.

He was about to go back and follow it until he tripped over something and he fell face first. He rolled over on his back and noticed a pink pony with a very puffy and curly mane staring down at him with a curious expression on its face. Cave contemplated the filly and realized that he has seen something like that before somewhere.

"Woa. Sorry about tripping over you there little fella. You know, you look very familiar somehow," Cave said to the pony.

"Do I?" the pony replied.

"You know. For a minute there, I thought you just said something in English," Cave laughed.

"Oh, but I did!" cheered the pony.

Cave crawled backwards against a tree; dumbfounded on what he had just heard from the young filly.

"Wait, what? WHAT!? Did you just...t-t-talk?" Cave asked.

"Well duh, of course I talked; so does everypony here in Equestria. By the way, my name's Pinkie Pie. Would you like a cupcake?" said Pinkie Pie; holding out a red velvet cupcake with light-blue frosting and topped with rainbow sprinkles on her hoof. When he heard that name, that was when he realized that he knew exactly where he was. He was in a world where every brony dreamed of going; but to him, it was the complete opposite. He refused to believe that he was in Equestria, the magical world of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. The whole thing, to him, was incomprehensible.

"Oh crud," said Cave, "I'm so going with my coma theory."

End of Prologue

Human V.S. Mane Six

Human V.S. Mane Six

Cave was currently trying to figure out a way to escape his worst nightmare while having an eccentric pink pony bouncing around him happily as he is walking, constantly asking him questions. He chose to ignore them but they were slowly starting to get to him.

“I haven’t seen anyone like you before. What are you?”

“What’s your name?”

“Where you from?”

“What’s that thing you’re holding?”

“What’s in that purse of yours?”

“Why do have a purse? You’re a boy!”

“Wait, are you a boy?”

“Would you please try my cupcake?”

“Wanna have a party celebrating your arrival?”

“What’s with that mean look on your face?”

“You mad?”

“How ‘bout a cupcake to cheer you up! Or even better, have some of my homemade pies!”

At the point where he couldn’t take it, Cave finally turned to face Pinkie, who was holding two whole pies in her hooves and still asking questions.

"Okay, listen here, Pinkie," Cave interrupted, shooting the pies out of her hooves in two shots, "Look, I appreciate the fact that you want to know more about me, but the truth is is that I don't like you. So can you please direct me to a place where I can actually get help because first off, I don't want to be in this world, and second, I have absolutely no idea where the heck I'm going!" Pinkie Pie just stood looking at him with a smile and a confused look, and then laughed.

"You silly, you're heading right into Ponyville!" Pinkie replied. Cave looks forward and notices a huge village coming upon him.

"How the heck did I not notice that?" Cave said. The place looked as if it were in the medieval times and ponies were outside walking around and socializing. There was dirt-paved roads, houses with hay as roofs on top, a huge tree in which it appears to be an actual house, a building that looked like a gingerbread house, judging by the fact that it has frosting on its roof including a cupcake and topped with candy, and a grand, circular building in the middle in which Cave assumes is the town hall. Cave was busy standing and observing the village while Pinkie Pie was standing next to him, eager to do something with him.

"So," she said, looking down while circling her front left hoof around, "What do you wanna do? Do you wanna... try out my party cannon? I never leave home without my party cannon and-"

"No," Cave interrupted.

"Well, then how about-"

"No."

"Then maybe-"

"No!"

"Oh c'mon," she whined when she took it out, "all you have to do is press this button and-" BOOM! A brilliant force came out of the cannon, along with confetti and party favors, and sent Cave flying into a tree.

"Oopsies!" said Pinkie, with a nervous grin. Cave stood back up from the bushes with a pissed off look on his face.

"Alright, that's it!" he shouted and started charging at Pinkie Pie, "Come here you little prick!" As Cave was racing towards her, Pinkie became afraid and tried shooting him again, but he was too fast and dodged the party bursts. At the point where he was ten feet away from her, Cave slid on the ground, dodging a burst that came close to hitting him, and tipped the party cannon in Pinkie's direction. Cave fired and now Pinkie was sent flying, but this time, she crashed into a fruit cart. A watermelon, that covered her entire head, was leaking red juice all over her face. She threw the watermelon away and licked away all of the juice that was on her along with a smile.

"Yum!" she said. When Pinkie noticed Cave walking up to her, she started cringing in fear of what may be her end. Cave was right in front of Pinkie when he noticed one of her pies on the ground. He picked it up and studied it. Hmmm. I guess I'd, might as well, try it., he thought. He dipped his finger into it, took out a piece, and ate it. Pinkie Pie watched in awe.

"So, what do you think?" asked Pinkie excitedly. Cave looked back at the pink pony and threw the pie at her face. Gasps were being heard throughout Ponyville at the sight of what happened to Pinkie Pie. Cave looked around and saw every single pony looking at him and at the incident. He was a bit shocked himself because he just took on one of the six main characters of the show and won.

"What in the name of Celestia is goin' on here?" said a pony out in the crowd. She spoke in a Southern accent and was moving through the crowd towards Cave. When she made it through, Cave got a clear look and immediately recognized her. She was an Earth pony that had a tan fur coat, a bleached blonde mane and tail, white freckles on her face, green eyes, a red hair-band tied around her mane and one around her tail, a cutie mark that had three apples on it, and wore a cowboy hat. It was Applejack.

Applejack looked at Cave.

"Who're you?" she asked, "And what are you-*gasp*." She looked at Pinkie Pie, who was laying against a pile of fruit from the fruit cart with a pie in her face. She immediately assumed that it was Cave who did it (and she was right) and struck an angry look at him.

"Why you-ain't no one mess with ma friends, especially Pinkie Pie!" she yelled. She took out her lasso from her saddlesack with her teeth, whirled it around in mid-air, and tossed it at Cave. He was getting ready to use his SCAR to defend himself when the lasso quickly tied his forearms together, making him let go of his weapon. He struggled trying to get his hands out but the knot was too tight.

"Well that's just great," Cave said sarcastically. Once he grabbed hold of the lasso, it became a game of tug-of-war between a human and a pony. Cave couldn't reach into his bag for his equipment because his arms were being pulled forward. He was trying to pull back but Applejack had strong hind legs so she was able to stand her ground. She was winning. With his strength about to give in, there was only one way he could gain the upper hand. He had to outsmart her.

"Woa! What in the world is that thing up in the sky!?" he lied.

"Rwhat? Rwhere?" Applejack said, taking her eyes off of Cave to find something that wasn't there while still holding the rope in her mouth. With her not paying attention, Cave spun the rope counterclockwise, making Applejack lose her balance and be carried along with it. The ponies that were watching them quickly got out of the way and ran away screaming. At the point where she couldn't hold on any longer, Applejack let go of the rope and was sent flying into barrels of apple cider. Cave got his arms out of the lasso and panted.

"Phew! Now that that's over with...," he said. He went back to the fruit cart, where Pinkie was still laying there with a pie in her face and was still breathing luckily, and picked up his SCAR. He was walking while looking off to the right until Applejack came back and hind-kicked him. He was sent flying, yet again, but now into a bakery called Sugarcube Corner. He crashed right through the wall and ended up with his back against the side of the cash register counter with two ponies standing behind the register, about to give a customer his cake. The two looked down at him, and then at Applejack through the hole in the wall.

"Applejack!" they both shouted.

"Oops! Sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Cake! I'll fix that later!" replied Applejack with an embarrassed look on her face, "As soon as I'm done with this fella here."

"Come out you little vermin!" Applejack yelled to Cave, shaking her hoof up in the air, "I ain't done with you yet!"

Cave woke up, itching away the pain in the back of his head.

"Ow! That was some kick!" he said to himself. He knew he couldn't take another kick like that so he had to think of another way to outsmart her. He got up and took cover on the right side of the hole. He took out one of his smoke grenades and threw it at Applejack's position. Once it was activated, she was completely surrounded in white smoke and lost track of Cave. After she was concealed in the cloud of smoke, Cave jumped out, through the hole, and ran over to her.

Applejack was looking around until she was shot by a burst of pellets. She tried to hind-kick in the direction of fire but she missed. She was shot again, but she still missed with her kick. After a few bursts and a few hind-kicks, Applejack was starting to become tired. When she gave her last hind-kick, she didn't pull back. Her hind legs were being grabbed. When the smoke cleared, she saw Cave holding on to her hind legs. She gasped, Cave gave a smirk, and he rolled backward while holding on to her legs, pulling her along too. Using his legs, Cave let go of Applejack's legs and kicked her in the opposite direction. She landed on the ground; too tired to get up.

When Cave was about to be on his way, he noticed a blue glow surrounding him.

"Oh come on!" he shouted.

All of a sudden, he was lifted up into the air with his SCAR on the ground and was flying into objects: wooden crates, food stands, barrels, and even buildings. While he was in the air, someone kicked him onto the ground. He looked up and saw a white unicorn with a curly purple mane and tail, false eyelashes, turquoise eyeliner, blue eyes, and a cutie mark that had three diamonds on it. It was Rarity.

"You will pay for what you did to my friend, Applejack!" she yelled. She was preparing to bombard Cave with debris and throw him around again. He did not have enough time to get away from her in order to obtain his SCAR. So, with about a second to react, Cave grabbed a handful of dirt off the ground and threw it at Rarity's face.

"Aaugh! I'm blind!" she screamed. Cave kicked her away and ran over to retrieve his weapon. Rarity was bumping into objects and eventually tripped over a crate and laid there, writhing with her hooves covering her red eyes.

Cave was eager to find help quickly before another pony tried to beat him up or even worse...kill him. He ran over to Ponyville's town square in order to hopefully find a person, even a pony, to help him. But when he got there, the whole place appeared empty. He looked into the windows of the buildings and found out that all of the ponies retreated into their homes in order to hide from him.

"Great! So no one wants to help the guy that's just TRYING TO GET HOME!" he yelled sarcastically. He look up and saw a rainbow up in the sky. Despite him being in a world that he dislikes, it's nice to find something that may give him hope. He smiled.

"Huh, I wonder what would be on the end of that rainbow. Probably a leprechaun that would give me a pot o' gold or perhaps good luck," he joked. But as he was observing it, he noticed that the rainbow was getting longer. He looked at the end of the rainbow and vaguely saw a blue pegasus with rainbow hair heading vertically downward at the ground and accelerating forward towards Cave at the last second.

"Well, it's not a leprechaun", Cave said, "But it's Connor's favorite pony and she's coming to beat me up. Great!" Rainbow Dash's rainbow trail vanished from changing her velocity but she was still coming in fast. Cave was getting ready to fire but realized that he was unable to estimate the range for a perfect shot. If she was too far, then the pellets would not reach her. And he definitely did not want to waste any more ammo despite the fact that he was still on his first clip. He laid down his gun and went into a horse stance position. He was about to do a very crazy move. Cave was planning to punch her while she is hurdling towards him. He knew that his stance was not enough for her momentum and he would still be sent flying but he didn't care. He was driven by his arrogance and uber vexation.

While on the sidelines of battle, a purple unicorn, named Twilight Sparkle, walked in and noticed Cave in his horse stance position.

"Hmmm. I wonder what this guy is doing. He seems to have a funny stance," she giggled with a curious look on her face. She was unaware of what was really going on. When she saw Rainbow Dash racing towards Cave, she realized what he was doing and gasped.

"Is this guy crazy!?" she yelled. As Rainbow Dash came closer, Cave drew back his right arm in order to prepare for the punch.

"This one's for Connor," he whispered. He shifted to bow stance and him and Rainbow Dash punched. The ground shook and a circle of impact emitted at the point where the fist and the hoof met. Cave and Rainbow Dash flew backwards. Rainbow Dash landed in a pile of flour bags while Cave, who took most of the force, landed on the ground, spinning and sliding until he stopped.

Hiding on top of the roof of a building was a yellow pegasus, named Fluttershy, and she was spectating the battle. She didn't want any part in it so she remained on the rooftops, hoping that Rainbow Dash was okay and would win the fight.

Cave got back up on his feet, limping mildly, and glanced at the pile of flour bags.

"Are we done yet?" he asked. Coming from the pile, Rainbow Dash sprouted out and charged at Cave with a flying kick.

"Apparently, we're not," he said. Dash was too quick for Cave to dodge so he went into bow stance position again and held his arms up. He caught Dash's kick with his hands but he was being pushed back. He tried his best to hold his ground by digging his feet in the dirt. By the time he stopped, Rainbow Dash gasped at how he managed to withstand such force. Cave looked up, gave a smirk, grabbed Dash's hoof, and swung her over his head and slammed her onto the ground. As a last resort, Cave swung her clockwise and threw her at the building where Fluttershy was hiding. After that, he went back to retrieve his SCAR.

When Rainbow Dash landed on the roof, Fluttershy gasped in horror and called out her name with barely a response. When Fluttershy witnessed her best friend's defeat, something broke inside of her. It was her sense of pacifism. Now all she could think of was revenge and became filled with anger and rage. She let out a loud and painful scream that made Cave and Twilight shut their ears from the excruciating pain.

Fluttershy came out of hiding and raced towards Cave, sweeping him off his feet before he got to his weapon, and carrying him by his arms with her hooves. He looked back to see where she was taking him and realized that she was going to slam him into Ponyville's town hall building. He need to act quickly because he was running out of time very fast. He looked up and tried to get her to let go by hitting her in the stomach. Fluttershy flinched with each hit but was not giving up. Finally, Cave figured out that if he can't get her to let go, then he would have to bring her down. So, using his weight against her, he forced her wings against her body with his arms and held his body against hers, like he was giving her a hug, and aimed their direction at a downward angle in a corkscrew motion. As a result, instead of slamming into town hall, they both crashed right through the building and landed on ground.

Cave opened his eyes and found Fluttershy unconscious across from him. He was partly injured on his side but he was still able to get up. He found his SCAR a few feet away from him. He limped over, picked it up, and began to walk towards Fluttershy to check if she was alright. But the time he got to her, he was shot by a purple laser and fell down. He looked and found Twilight Sparkle walking up to him with a fierce look on her face.

"Oh no, I will not let you finish her off!" she shouted and started teleporting Cave into the air and kicking him down. He tried to use his SCAR but Twilight, using her telekinesis spell, quickly took it out of his hands and aimed it towards him.

"Now, any last words?" asked Twilight, preparing to fire his own gun at him along with another laser burst.

"Three," Cave replied. He reached into his pocket on his right femur, pulled out a fully loaded emergency airsoft sidearm, and aimed it at Twilight.

"Two guns filly!" Cave yelled.

"What!?"

Twilight tried to dodge it but before she had the time to react, Cave already took the shot and the pellet hit her in the left eye. She screamed while she was covering her injured eye and backed away. She let go of his primary weapon and ran off screaming in the distance.

Cave got up and scanned the area in hopes that there weren't any other ponies that wanted to kill him left. He was about to go back and check on Fluttershy when he realized that she was no longer there. He looked around in order to find her but no luck. Cave gave up and assumed that she was okay and proceeded trying to find help. He was getting ready to leave town square when six ponies appeared in his way. It was all of the ponies that he had fought off and they were preparing for a retaliation.

"Oh for cryin' out loud!" Cave said, "Do I not get a break around here?"

Everyone was getting ready to fight until a fierce voice yelled: "Enough!"

The Blame Game

The Blame Game

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked to see who had ordered them to cease. It was a tall, white alicorn with a blue, yellow, purple, and pink-striped mane and tail that were naturally flowing around. She had an amethyst necklace and crown as well as elegantly designed hooves, magenta eyes, and a cutie mark in the shape of the sun.

She strolled into Ponyville along with her royal pegasi guards by her side, who's golden armor with helmets looked similar to that of a Spartan warrior except the mohawks on top of them were blue instead of red, to the scene of the brawl. The alicorn looked at everyone.

"What is going on here?" she asked in a serious tone. The Mane Six turned towards her and bowed in greeting except for Cave, since he wasn't quite familiar with her. Twilight Sparkle stepped forward towards the tall, white alicorn.

"Princess Celestia," she greeted, "What are you doing here in Ponyville?"

"Well, was I setting out with my royal guards to investigate a sudden disturbance in the Everfree Forest," the princess replied, "until I noticed some hostility going on here in Ponyville. So may I ask again; what is going on here, what happened to your eye, and who's that young fellow over there?" She was mentioning Cave, who stood there nervously looking at Celestia, trying to figure out what was going to happen to him. Oh balls, you did it now Cave. You're so gonna get it big time, he thought, but he tried his best to act nonchalant. Everyone looked at Cave and then back at Celestia.

"Your majesty, he is the cause of all this!" blamed Twilight, pointing her hoof at Cave. The rest of the Mane Six joined in and brought forth their accusations.

"He shot me in the eye!"

"He made me crash right through town hall!"

"He slammed me on the ground and threw me into a building!"

"He blinded me with filthy dirt and kicked me in the face!"

"He threw me into barrels of ma own cider and sent me flyin'!

"Mmmph! MMmmph! Mmmpph! Mmmppphh! Mph! MMMMmmppphhh!"

Everyone looked at Pinkie Pie, who still had a pie stuck in her face. She opened her eyes and licked off the pie with a smile and repeated her complaint.

"And he threw a pie at my face!" she yelled. Fed up with their complaints, Cave stepped in to defend himself.

"Really!? After all the stuff you guys did to me!? Pinkie, first of all, you can never beat the classics," Cave argued regarding the pie he threw, "And second, you're the one that decided to introduce me to a face full of confetti with that party cannon of yours in the first place!"

He turned to the rest of the Mane Six and pointed them out.

"In fact, all of you struck a first hit at me because you thought I was some sort of evil villain! I mean come on! You didn't even give me a chance to explain myself for Pete's sake!"

All of the ponies started exchanging looks and realized that he was right. They immediately assumed that he was an enemy when he was just trying to defend himself. Princess Celestia stood looking at Cave with a curious expression.

"Well then. In that case, care to explain who you are and what you're doing here?" she asked. Cave finally calmed down, closed his eyes, and gave a deep breath.

"The name's Cave Kojack, but you can call me Cave ," he answered, "I'm what you call a human being and-"

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW THEY EXISTED!" yelled a mint-green unicorn named Lyra Heartstrings. Everyone glanced at her with confused looks. Once she looked at them and realized that she interrupted something, she stood embarrassed and then went about her business.

"As I was saying," Cave resumed, "I'm a human being. I'm not entirely sure how I managed to arrive here. I mean...Earlier, I was riding my bike and then I somehow got blinded and fell off a cliff, and -poof- I'm here. But right now I'm trying to figure out how to-"

While Cave was talking, one of the guards came up to the princess and whispered something into her ear. Her countenance became anxious as if she was in a bit of a hurry.

"My apologies, Cave Kojack," she interrupted, "but I'm afraid that we will have to do this at another time. Apparently, I'm running a bit short on my schedule." Cave grunted in frustration on the fact that he couldn't get any pony to listen to what he was trying to say.

"I would, however, like to know more about you while I'm gone," Celestia said. She turned to the Mane Six.

"Would any of you like to look after him and update me on what you know about him in the meantime?" she asked.

"After what he did to me and my apple cider? Heck no!" replied Applejack. The rest joined in.

"Unless he can stand on clouds, count me out."

"I'm sorry, your majesty. But, um, no thank you."

"Are you crazy!? He'll just throw more desserts at my face, silly! You know, on second thought, that actually sounds quite delicious."

"I would never let anypony, or anything, as violent and savage as him, reside at my own abode!"

"Actually, I would love to."

Everyone, including Cave, looked at Twilight Sparkle with confused looks.

"What!?" shouted the rest of the Mane Six and Cave in unison.

"You heard me," said the purple unicorn, "I'd like to learn more about you Cave; your species, your personality, all there is to know!"

"Okay, hold up," said Cave, "I shot you in the eye and beat up your friends, yet you still want to get to know me and offer me a place to stay?"

"Sounds kind of harsh when you put it that way. But yeah, that's right!"

"Man, I...er...*sigh*I...I just don't understand you ponies at all!"

"Well, now that that's settled," said the princess, "Twilight, I'll be expecting letters from you by the time I return to Canterlot Castle."

"Consider it done, your highness," confirmed Twilight. Princess Celestia nodded in return and went back onto her chariot. It was white and golden in color, had four wheels; two small wheels in the front and two big wheels in the back, and a tall backrest with a gold star on top along with a small purple flag above the star. The pegasi guards reattached their reins and took off towards Everfree Forest. By the time the princess disappeared in the distance, everyone glanced at each other and then at Cave, wondering what to do now. There was an awkward silence so Rainbow Dash decided to break it by forming a conversation.

"Gee, with the way he fights, the next thing you know, he's able to take on a whole army of ponies!" she said, rubbing the back of her head.

"Indeed!" Rarity concurred, "Those impressive fighting strategies would surely best any opponent that dared to stand in his way."

"OOH! You know what would be even better!?" asked Pinkie Pie, "If he took over Equestria's capital, Canterlot!" An idea popped inside Cave's mind. His eyebrows raised but he quickly lowered them to reduce suspicion.

"Uhh. Pinkie, that'd be a horrible idea," retorted Applejack, "He'd been hustlin' us around like a rampagin' tornado! The last thing we'd need would be puttin' him in charge and bowin' down to him. Anyway, I'll see ya'll later. Need to head back to Sweet Apple Acres to help Big Mac plough the fields before it starts raining." Out on the horizon were black storm clouds slowly making their way towards Ponyville. Many of the citizens retreated and prepared for the worst.

"Oh, I agree, darling," said Rarity, "I sure don't want to get my voluptuous mane ruined, more than it already is, by the oncoming frantic weather. I'll just head back to Carousel Boutique so farewell!"

"And I need to head back to Sugarcube Corner to make more desserts for the upcoming party in Ponyville!" Pinkie Pie added, "It's going to be so amazing!"

"And, um, I... also have to keep my, um, animals sheltered from the weather so, um, bye," said Fluttershy.

"Good luck with your new friend, Twilight," Rainbow Dash said as she flew up into the air, "You'll need it in case he tries to pull off any more funny business. In the meantime, I'm gonna head up to Cloudsdale, where it isn't raining!"

As everypony dispersed from where they were to make preparations and to get away from the oncoming rainy weather, Cave and Twilight were left alone, looking at each other.

"So," said Twilight.

"So," returned Cave.

"You wanna follow me to my place?"

"Nope." he said with a smile.

"But what about your condition? You don't look too well from what we did to you."

"Do you think I care? To be honest, I'd rather be stranded here with a pony that did not try to kill me than to be stranded here with you. And I'm fine, thank you."

"Well, suit yourself then," said Twilight, "If you change your mind, come to the big, tall oak tree in the middle of Ponyville, that's the library as well as my house."

"Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen."

Right after Cave finished his sentence, thunder and lightning came and rain started pouring, penetrating the ground like pebbles hitting concrete. He and Twilight were getting soaked. Twilight looked at him with a smart-alec smile and asked:

"Now do you-"

"NO!"

"Alright! Alright! Just...be careful, Cave."

"Sure, whatever."

As Twilight left him, Cave remained on his own. He wanted to find a pony that did not try to harm him, was not afraid of him, and was willing to provide him help. Although both of his legs were bruised from being thrown around, his right arm aching from trying to punch Rainbow Dash, his back slightly stiff from crashing into buildings, and his side churning from corkscrewing into town hall; he refused to give up searching. He limped his way through the deserted, muddy roads of Ponyville, trying to locate any houses that revealed any signs of residents.

It was extremely cold; as frigid as death. The storm clouds delivered the illusion of night. Puddles of water lie scattered all across the town. The outsoles of Cave's sneakers were getting caked in mud with each step that he took. Raindrops pierced through his clothing like spears. Chills were crawling up his spine and making his teeth clatter. He used his jean messenger bag to shield his head from the downpour while he was scanning for houses.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Desperate to find shelter, Cave finally found a house that emitted a flickering light. He peered into the window and saw a fireplace with a nice burning flame with plenty of wood fueling it. Even outside, he was able to feel the relaxing heat gently warm his cheeks. He couldn't see any sign of ponies that were there because the room was too dark despite the fire being the only source of light. Finally, he decided to request the resident's assistance. Cave walked up to the door, knocked on the its wooden surface, and waited. He kept his primary airsoft weapon concealed behind his back so that none of the ponies notice it. A few moments later, the door opened and in the doorway was a dark-pink Earth pony with two different shades of light-pink on her mane and tail. She had green eyes and on her flank displayed her cutie mark, three smiling sunflowers. As she stared at Cave, she gave off an intimidated expression.

"Umm. Hello there," Cave greeted, "Listen, I understand that you're very frightened of me but if you please just give me a chance here, I swear I will-" FWAM! The door slammed right in Cave's face, indicating rejection. As Cave stood in front of the door, he began to think about what Twilight had told him. She was willing to offer him refuge that the pony that had just recently declined his offer to. He shook the thought away in disgust.

No, Cave, he thought, She almost killed you. And she could do it again while you're sleeping. Just keep going. You're bound to find some random, simple-minded pony that's willing to trust you in their own home. You're bound to.

As Cave trudged on forth, he eventually found another house that consisted of a few lights being turned on. He knocked on the door and out came a light-brown male pony with blue eyes, a spiky brown mane and tail, and had a cutie mark in the shape of an hourglass. This time, Cave tried a rather different approach.

"Why hello good sir!" Cave said excitedly, "My name's Cave Kojack and I must admit it's some very nice weather were having today!"

Right as he ended his sentence, a huge flash of lightning appeared nearby and caused a loud booming noise that made Cave and the male stallion jump from its effect.

"Ehehe. See? Nice weather! Now, as I was saying-" FWAM!

"Dang it!" he yelled out of frustration. He was starting to become really annoyed at the fact that the ponies were interrupting his sentences by simply slamming the door right in his face. He needed to formulate another type of strategy so that he can "smooth talk" his way to refuge and assistance. While he was thinking about this along the way, the thought of Twilight's offer returned to his mind. All he had to do was find her house and she will gladly take him in and he'll be safe from the rain. Again, the thought of it appalled him.

You're not weak, Cave, he thought, Giving in to a race of cartoon ponies will just make you look like a complete fool. You're better than them, Cave, and you can prove it.

After about twenty minutes of walking in a nonstop rainfall, Cave finally managed to encounter his third house. He gave himself a deep breath in order to relax himself from the previous rejections; they were really ticking him off. And so he knocked on the door and waited for a pony to open it so that he can try charming is way in. While he was waiting, he began to feel an unusual presence come up behind him, as if it were extending its long, slender, and sinister appendage and snatch him away to God knows where. He quickly turned; only to find nothing suspicious. The door opened but Cave didn't see anyone. He looked around for them until he heard a high-pitched "Hello?" coming from the bottom of the doorway. It was a pale-pink filly with a pink mane and tail and had green eyes. Her cutie mark was a palm tree. She curiously glanced at Cave and contemplated his human form. Cave returned her look and soon realized the she didn't recognize him so he decided to use this to his advantage and knelt down to her height level.

"Oh, hello there little fella," he calmly said, "My name is Cave Kojack. What's yours?"

"Piña Colada," she answered nervously.

"Piña Colada? I love those drinks! They're my favorite beverage! That's a very nice name you have there," he complimented; however, he doesn't drink alcoholic beverages.

"Thank you," she replied while blushing in the process.

"Say, um, is it alright with you and your family for me to come in and stay at your place? It's raining cats and dogs out here and I don't want to get even more wet."

"It's raining cats and dogs? How's that even possible? I gotta get out there and help them! They could be hurt from falling from the sky!"

"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. It's just that...where I come from, the term 'raining cats and dogs' means that it's raining very hard. Don't worry, there's no animals in need of help, well, unless you count me as one. Hehe."

The filly began to laugh along with Cave. She was beginning to grow fond of him. She agreed to let him in as soon as she introduces him to her older sister. Cave was relieved and gave Piña Colada a little noogie, messing up her mane, but she still laughed. Through his own sense of manipulation, he finally found a pony that was willing to accept him in their own home. Now all he had to do was greet Piña Colada's sister and he would finally be safe from the deluge of rain.

"Hey, Berry Punch! Come here, quick! There's a friend I'd like you to meet!" she yelled towards the back. Cave smiled at the fact that she called him a "friend". It helped indicate that she had definitely bought it.

"I'll be right there!" returned a female voice. While Cave and the filly were waiting, another pony finally appeared in the doorway next to Piña Colada. It was a tall, purple mare with a dark-pink mane and tail as well as her eyes glowing a dark-pink color too. Her cutie mark was a strawberry and a vine of grapes next to each other. She placed her front left hoof around her little sister's withers; much like how a momma bear protects her cub by keeping them close. In her right hoof she held, what appeared to be, a gold chalice of a mysterious purple liquid of some sort. She looked at Piña Colada and smiled down at her.

"Hey, lil sis," Berry Punch happily acknowledged, "So, who is this friend of you-"

As she gazed upon Cave, Berry Punch's jaw dropped. She dropped her beverage and immediately let out a horrific shriek. Cave realized that he had been discovered. She had recognized him from the brawl in town square and he quickly tried think up a way to calm her down.

"Wait! It's alright!" Cave assured, "Relax! I'm not going to hurt-"

"Get away from me!" she yelled, "And stay away from my little sister!"

Berry Punch picked up Piña Colada, who was confused, and slammed the door in Cave's face. Cave continuously knocked on their door, trying to help settle them down, but it was no use. They completely ignored his assurances and refused to let him in. Anger and frustration had built up in him again and was getting ready to release it in a loud yell. He clenched his fists, raised them up to the sky, and shouted:

"WHAT THE F-,"

BOOM! A loud crash of thunder had caused him to flinch and halt his moral outburst. He was getting ready to leave the two sisters' house alone until he noticed an object on the ground at the foot of their door. It was Berry Punch's gold chalice and it still had some liquid inside it.

"Do I even want to know?" he asked himself. He wasn't really thirsty but he couldn't help but wonder what she was drinking. He picked it up and contemplated it. It was engraved with carvings of ponies and mysterious symbols. He looked into the chalice and noticed that it had a strong essence emitting from it. Finally, he took a sip of the unknown purple liquid. Cave recognized the taste and immediately expectorated it and threw the chalice against the door.

"Wine!?" he complained, "Are you freaking kidding me!? You put wine in a freaking little girls show and then name little kid-ponies after stuff that contains booze!? Ugh, you morons!" He washed his mouth with rainwater and stormed off, grumbling to himself and making splashes in the puddles as he passed by dozens of seemingly lifeless houses. Curse my curiosity, he thought.

The rain was becoming more and more worse as time passed on. Cave was completely drenched through his clothing and could barely see thirty feet in front of him. He looked at his Armitron digital watch to see what time it was but realized that it would serve him no purpose from where he was. He was in a different world with a different kind of time zone. Eventually, Cave gave up trying to look for assistance and sat in an alley, where the hay overhangs of houses poorly protected him from the rainfall.

A powerful and chilling breeze swept through the alley where Cave was in. He began to shiver constantly and was unable to sleep appropriately. He was bound to suffer from a fever at some point. Twilight's offering came back, once again. As much as Cave hated the idea, it was either safety or death. He knew that if he continued on like this, he will not see morning by the time it comes. It was decided: go to Twilight's house.

After a few minutes of searching, Cave spotted a massive figure about twenty five feet away from him. It was a giant oak tree with branches spread out forty feet away from its center. Its thick leaves kept everything below it well protected and dry from the downpour. Glass windows replaced the holes in its trunk and crown. A wooden balcony stood at its crown and green grass acted as an awning at its trunk. A large beehive clings desperately to one of the branches to avoid being blown away by the wind. In front of Cave was a red, wooden door that opens in three ways as well as an image of a candle on an old-fashioned candle holder. A sign to the right of it showed a picture of a book, indicating that it was a library.

This must be the place, he thought. After approaching the door, he gave a deep breath, hoping that the purple unicorn has still kept her offer on the line. He knocked on the door and waited for the moment of truth. The door opened and Twilight Sparkle appeared in the doorway. She was wearing a black eyepatch that covered her left eye that Cave shot. She looked at him from bottom to top and giggled.

"Well, will you look who it is," she said obnoxiously with a smile, "I thought you didn't need my help."

"I gave up, okay!? Geez!" Cave admitted, "Since none of the other ponies in this freakin' town would help me, I guess I'd, might as well, go with the pony that was willing to in the first place!"

"Well, at least you made the right choice," she said, "Come on. Get inside and I'll help you get dried up."

Cave gave himself a deep sigh and stepped into the house of Twilight Sparkle. After he made it through the doorway, Twilight aimed her horn directly at Cave. At first, he thought she was going to shoot him when he saw her horn glow purple and winced. But when he looked at his clothing, something strange was happening. Drops of water were transpiring from his jacket. He stopped wincing and looked around at himself. Water was coming off of his clothing, his skin, and his hair; and they were all accumulating at one spot, forming a giant, floating ball of water. Twilight carefully aimed and tossed the water ball out the door and closed the door with her magic.

"Thanks," Cave said, slightly amazed.

"You're welcome," Twilight said happily in return.

Cave strolled to the center of the house and took a good look at what he was seeing. The whole place was built inside of the tree and was filled with the stench of books. The tree's bottom trunk was its floor. Round rectangular shapes were carved along the edges as bookshelves. The books that rested neatly on these shelves had almost no speck of dust of them and were a little rugged along their edges, meaning that they were used quite often. A wooden stairway leading upstairs was built alongside the tree with three pink hearts painted on the risers with every other step. Two wooden lecterns were placed on opposite sides of the house. In front of one of the bookshelves was a wooden bust of a horse's head. Windows were scattered across the house, above the bookshelves, and laid against the wall was a wooden ladder for obtaining books from a particular height.

Not believing what he was seeing, Cave rummaged through his bag, took out his iPod Touch, and started taking pictures.

"Hey! What kind of device is that?" asked Twilight.

"It's just my iPod Touch," Cave answered, "Normally, I use it just to listen to music, play games, and take pictures like what I'm doing right now."

"Can I see it?"

"No."

Twilight's ears dropped and she frowned from rejection. While he was busy taking pictures, Cave heard something coming from upstairs. He looked up and saw a purple, reptilian-like leg appear at the top of the stairwell. Descending with each step, its full image was revealed to Cave. It was a purple and green dragon walking on its two hind legs. It was shorter than Twilight and appeared as if it were a kid with a baby-like face. It looked at Cave and grimaced.

"What's he doing here?" it angrily hissed, pointing at Cave. Its tone of voice indicated that it was a little boy dragon.

"It's alright, Spike," assured Twilight, "Cave won't be any trouble. He'll just be staying with us for a while."

"Twilight, can I talk to you please?" Spike asked.

"Alright," sighed Twilight. She turned to Cave. "Be just a second."

Twilight trotted over to the end of the stairwell, where Spike was.

"What is it, Spike?" she asked quietly.

"Twilight, I don't want him staying at our place!" Spike whispered, "Did you see what he did!? The next thing you know, he might kill us in our sleep!"

"It's nothing to worry about, Spike," Twilight assured, "And besides, I promised the princess that I would notify her of anything that I learned from Cave."

"But he's dangerous! He did that to your eye and beat up our friends; most importantly, my Rarity!"

"I understand, but we misunderstood him and that's why he was acting like that. And I'm willing to do whatever it takes to familiarize myself with him more. Who knows? Maybe he might turn over a new leaf or something."

Spike glanced over at Cave and scowled.

"I don't trust him," he grumbled.

"Well, get used to it, Spike," Twilight ordered, "'Cause he's staying with us and that's final. Now go upstairs and get some sleep. We have a big day ahead of us tomorrow."

Spike obeyed and went upstairs worried. Meanwhile, Cave was perusing around Twilight's house. He had too much going on in his mind that he couldn't exactly overhear Twilight and Spike's conversation. Twilight started to trot up to Cave, who was observing closely at the wooden horse bust.

"So, what do you think?" she asked Cave.

"There are termites eating it," he answered.

"That's not really what meant but...wait what!?"

As Twilight looked closer at the head with a magnifying glass, she noticed a small colony of green termites chewing at the wood.

"Aaauughh!"

She quickly lifted the horse head with her magic and one-by-one, tiny green dots exited the bust in a single file line and floating out the window. Once they were all out of the house, Twilight quickly shut the window.

"Phew! Sorry about that," she said, "Now, as I was saying, what I really meant to ask was what do think about being here in Equestria despite our little....feud?"

"Oh, in that case, I hate it," Cave answered.

"And why is that?"

"Because I never asked for this! What's worse is that I have no idea how I got here or how to freaking get back home! And now, I'm stuck here in some ridiculous world dominated by ponies with tattoos on their a-"

"You mean....cutie marks?" Twilight interrupted. Cave looked at her confusingly.

"You're kidding me. That's what they're called?" Cave retorted.

"Exactly," she assured, "and they're not 'tattoos'; they symbolize a pony's special talent in their lives once they've discovered it."

"Well, then that's a stupid name to call it. It's," he paused for a moment, "....girly."

"Girly? What do you mean by that?

"Never mind."

After that, there was nothing but an unpleasant silence between each other. The rapid downpour had soon been reduced to the light pitter-pattering of raindrops. The storm clouds have almost completely cleared, revealing the night sky, and the cricket callings started to arise.

"Aaaannyway," Twilight said anxiously, "Would you like me to help heal your injuries? I can go get you some bandages or escort you to the Ponyville Hospital if they're-"

"I'm fine," Cave snapped. As he began to move around to prove his condition, he ended up limping with each step, humiliating himself. His legs were just too hurt from the fight and he was trying his best not to show any pain; but he can tell that Twilight was not buying it.

"Judging by the way you're walking, I don't think that you're alright at all. Are you sure you don't want-"

"Yes, I'm sure."

"Okay, fine," she hesitated before continuing, "Listen, I'm sorry about what happened to you back there; but now's not the time for you to be stubborn. If you're going to get home, you're going to need all the help you can get. And since you've done a good job getting everypony to become extremely afraid of you, it seems like I just may be your only chance of getting out of here. Now, since Spike doesn't trust you and it's pretty crowded down in the basement, you may have to rest on the floor of this room. I'll come fetch you some sheets."

Twilight went over to her closet and used her magic to bring out a pillow and a couple of blue blankets. She set them down neatly in the middle of the room and looked at Cave.

"There you go; nice and neat!" she cheerfully declared, "Now, I suggest that you get some sleep because tomorrow's when we finally get to know each other."

"Woawoawoa. Hold on," snapped Cave, "I don't think you understand. I need to get out of here now."

"Now? Why now? You just arrived here."

"I am not staying for another second in this ridiculous world! I have family and friends back home!"

"So?"

"SO!? They're probably worried sick about me right now! I can't have them wait any longer, thinking that I'm dead or something! Heck, they've probably even set up a search party or called the freakin' police to go look for me but I know there's no chance because I'm stuck here in EQUESTRIA!"

"Then let them wait!" stated Twilight. Her cold-hearted backlash punched Cave right in the chest. He couldn't help but feel the inconceivable rage fill up inside him. It was like lightning bringing life to an indomitable abomination about to reign destruction over anything that dared to stand in its path. Buildings would be decimated by its unchallengeable strength. Ponies would shriek in terror as they attempt to escape their inevitable fate. All of Equestria would crumble to its last remnant of its past and the pariah will stomp on it, eliminating the final piece of evidence of the once great kingdom's existence from the face of the planet.

Cave shut his eyes and turned away with disdain, trying to suppress his anger; it would do him no good if he let out his eruption over the ponies in such a way that it would destroy his chances of returning to Earth forever. He cannot let that happen.

"I'm sorry," Twilight said sympathetically, "I didn't mean it like that. Listen, if it makes you feel any better, I've already begun my research in order to help ensure that you will get home. Please rest, Cave. I promise that will find a way." Twilight turned off the lights and went upstairs to get to sleep; leaving Cave all by himself again. All was silent and eventually, Cave decided to go get some sleep too since he believed it will, at least, allow his body to heal much quicker. So he stripped off his jean jacket, laid down his things, climbed under the sheets, laid his head against the pillow, closed his eyes, and began to imagine living his normal life as usual as if the whole going-into-Equestria thing had never happened.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Cave couldn't sleep. He just couldn't. The fact that he was in a world full of cartoon ponies was so overwhelming that it gave him insomnia. Pretending to live back on Earth was not making things any easier either. It only made him want to go back even more. He laid on his back, wondering about what he could do in order to get home as fast as possible. Cave thought back to what Pinkie Pie had said earlier: OOH! You know what would be even better!? If he took over Equestria's capital, Canterlot!

Canterlot..., Cave thought and later he came up with an idea. He got up, took out his iPod Touch, and activated his Torch app, casting a bright white light aimed in one direction. His body had healed a bit during his time lying down although he could still feel pressure in some places. He explored the circular library, examining each of the bookshelves until he came across a section called Geography. Looking through the labels of the books, Cave managed to find one that was rather thick and matched his interest perfectly. Ready to pull out the book, he turned around to view what else the library had to offer.

Now's not the time, Cave. You can do that somewhere else. Let me remind you that it's My Little Pony, he recalled. He carried the book to one of the lecterns, hovered his iPod above, and opened it to, what appeared to be, a map of Equestria. The kingdom was one gigantic land mass with detailed depictions of its towns and cities and natural formations: Appleloosa, Manehatten, Baltimare, Los Pegasus, Cloudsdale... the list went on and on. Studying the map, Cave noticed that there were lines connecting all of the areas to one central point. They were railway lines. Using his index finger, he followed them all to a single white city that seemed to be built literally on the side of a tall, purple mountain, Canterlot.

Bingo.

Now that Cave found what he was looking for, he tore the page out of the book and was getting ready to sneak out until he stopped and thought for a moment. What if all this wasn't real at all? Am I really in a coma? These questions perplexed him; and the only way to answer them is if he had left something to come back to once he had returned to Earth. So he took out his iPod, initiated Voice Memos, and started to make his first audio log entry.1

While in the middle of concluding his first entry, Cave heard a door creak open from upstairs. He gasped and quickly shut off his iPod and rushed underneath the sheets and pretended to be asleep. Descending down the stairs was Spike and he was holding a lighted candle in his hand. Cave talking in his entry must have accidentally woke Spike up. Spike gazed suspiciously at Cave, who had his back turned away from him.

"Hmmm," Spike murmured and he eventually went back upstairs. As soon as he heard the door close, Cave got up, gathered his belongings, and quietly tip-toed out the front door.

It was slightly cold outside and very wet from the rain. A full moon shone a bright light that lit up the starry night sky like a blue flame. Its reflection was beautifully elegant in the puddles of water. Echoing in the night was the sound of crickets calling for their partners. And up in a nearby tree was a family of phoenixes snoozing together while expecting a new addition this week.

Cave held out the map in front and tried to see if he could find a train station somewhere. During his search, he saw a glowing white city up along the side of a tall mountain far up ahead. It was Canterlot. He figured using the capital as a reference point would help him spot the station. After finally finding a pavilion on an elevated platform that turned out to be the train station, Cave saw a sign up on the window of one of the ticket booths that read: "Station Closed Due to Curfew".

"Figures," Cave muttered to himself. He glanced at the map again and noticed that if he went right then he will eventually make it to Canterlot within an estimated guess of about thirty to fifty minutes by walking. He peered inside the booth and saw a clock that said 10:10pm; still plenty of time to successfully carry out the plan overnight. Cave set his watch and his iPod to their correct time. Subsequently, he hopped off the station and began to saunter along the side of the railroad to where may lie his best chance of getting back to his race; however, he was not alone during the journey. Someone, somewhere, was keeping a very close eye on him, contemplating his every move.

1 = To be elaborated.

Author's Note: Special thanks to Violet Runner for proofreading this!

Entry #1

Entry #1

[TRANSMISSION INITIATED]

"This is Cave Kojack, entry number one. *Sigh* What did I just get myself into this time? Okay, bear with me here to whoever finds these messages, if I ever lose this; including myself, if I somehow get amnesia because I've officially lost my mind, because everything I'm about to tell you is one hundred percent pure fact. I'm telling you the complete truth no matter how utterly stupid this sounds. Don't believe me? Fine, but at least listen to what I have to say 'cause this is going to seriously make you question reality itself. Now, I don't know if this is all but some weird dream or what but I'm gonna find out once I'm outta here and I find these entries. *Sigh* Alright, here I go.

"So, it was a normal day in North Carolina, nothing much, just me getting ready for another airsoft war with me and my friends. Seems legit, right? Except for one thing. I'm headin' to the arena on my bike and somehow, my eyes get blinded by some random light that came out of nowhere. Now, here's the thing, it was cloudy and I was wearing my sunglasses. You may think that it was probably just the sun appearing out of the clouds but this was rather... different. For some reason, this beam of light flashed within an instant and literally made my eyes feel as if they were on fire! So I can't see for crap and then I end up falling off a cliff on a long drop towards death. At first, I thought I perished on impact but then something...weird happened.

"I woke up...in a cartoon world. So let me get this straight. I could be going crazy and I'm just hallucinating things, but I'm pretty sure it's impossible for humans to travel to different dimensions. I don't know. I'm no physicist. Anywhom, so I'm looking around and I bump into a pink pony. At first, I thought the color was unusual but then it turns out she can talk and you know what else was unusual? Her name was Pinkie Pie.

"Okay. Ummm...what the frick? Why did I have to get stuck in the world of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic? It-it can't be pure coincidence that I landed in a place that I despise so much, right? I mean....why? Why couldn't it be Doctor Who or Halo? I would've been happier if I landed in either of those universes but no; it had to be a little girl's show, instead; the show that transformed my two airsofting best friends into pony-loving bronies. When they tried showing me an episode of it, I swear I almost fainted from confusion during the beginning of it. *Sigh* I just couldn't understand it whatsoever and I may never will.

"Where was I? Oh, yeah. So not only did I meet one of the show's main characters, I also almost got killed by all six of the main characters! What's interesting was that they were actually beating the crap out of me big time! I've been kicked in the chest and in the back, thrown into buildings, sent flying everywhere, and shot at! I honestly never thought a bunch of girly ponies would pack that serious of a punch. I'll admit this: although they seem cute and innocent and harmless on the outside, on the inside, they're no pushovers. Trust me, you do not want to underestimate them. They'll seriously kick your...you know what? I'll just move on.

"So, we were all getting ready for another round until their leader decides to step in and stops the fight. They call her Princess Celestia. She stated that she was about to go investigate the place where I landed until she noticed our fight. Okay....since when does it take you about half an hour to get ready to go investigate something? She could've easily used that time to come save my skin and then I don't have to worry about getting myself publicly humiliated and majorly owned! I mean c'mon! Why didn't you? *Sigh* And then to top it all off, she pairs me with the purple unicorn that shot me, Twilight Sparkle. To be honest, it was really Twilight that chose to accommodate me, not Celestia.

"I constantly refused going with her. I didn't trust her. I thought if I can find someone else that wasn't threatened by me in the first place, I would feel much safer and they can help me get home instead. Unfortunately, that didn't go perfectly as planned and I ended up staying at Twilight's place. By the time I got there, I had already made an enemy in the house, some little munchkin dragon named Spike. He doesn't seem to trust me as much as I don't seem to trust his 'master'. I guess that makes two of us, however, we both aren't exactly fond of each other.

"I was hoping that since Twilight is such an brainiac in magic, due to her so-called vast knowledge of spells, she could instantly just send me back home; but instead, all she really wants to do is to get to know me. I understand that I'm a new thing to learn about but what she doesn't get is that I don't want to leave my family and friends hangin'! I've already missed my airsoft game and I bet these ponies have never even heard of the word 'airsoft'. I can't have them think I'm dead or anything when I'm not. And it pisses me off that I can't tell them that 'Hey guys! I'm okay, it's just that I'm marooned on this God forsaken pony world!' And even if I did manage to send them a message, it's doubtful that anyone back on Earth knows how to get where I am; and I hardly know either; it was all a mystery to me. So if that's how it goes, then it's possible that I could be stranded on this cartoon rock for all of freaking eternity.

"And you wanna know how she responded to that? Here are her exact words: 'Then let them wait!' I swear, when I heard those words, I literally felt like I was going to go and pulverize her and then annihilate the entire world. She did not give a single crap about the people and things I cared so much about back on Earth. And although she apologized, I'm never gonna forgive her for that. Never.

"Twilight claims that she'd already begun her search for a way to send me back. I know that's not true. She only said that just to give me hope and to cheer me up when she has no idea where to start. However, I recently came up with a plan that just might work despite the fact that I don't know much about this place. Princess Celestia's all powerful and is practically a 'God', right? So, she must know some way to send me back because she possesses much more power than the rest of the ponies. So if I can make my way to this 'Canterlot' place, then maybe I can convince her to cast a spell to send me back to North Carolina. But if she does have that kind of power, then why didn't she just send me back when we first met? Oh, that's right, she interrupted me before I got to tell her my goal and she also wanted to get to know me. I hope she's forgotten about that.

"Wow. Hear me talk about ponies and magic spells. That's the first. *Sigh* Well, okay. The plan is set. Wish me luck. I sure hope this works 'cause there's no way I'm losing my home, or my dignity, by being here in Equestria. *Chuckle* Man, when I finally get back, the boys back home are not going to believe where I've-*Gasp*"

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