Contretemps

by SirNotAppearingInThisFic

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 1580

The Cutie Mark Crusaders can't spend all day crusading, as much as they'd like to. The solution to this, of course, is ice cream! That was the plan, at least.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders can't spend all day crusading, as much as they'd like to. The solution to this, of course, is ice cream! That was the plan, at least. Read along as Pinkie Pie and Rarity derail the crusaders' attempt at consuming an enjoyable snack.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-07 00:20:02 UTC

Wasabi Flavored What?

Apple Bloom, Scootaloo,and Sweetie Belle stood in the Cutie Mark Crusader's clubhouse.  Warm sunlight that poured in through the window and joyful birdsong drifted through the trees.  All that and the gentle breeze that topped it all off to make it a near-perfect spring day was completely unnoticed by the crusaders as they debated what they would do next to earn their cutie marks.  Scootaloo had just suggested taming manitcores, though the other two crusaders didn't think highly of the idea.

“Applejack would kill me just for tryin',” Apple Boom said, “if the manticore doesn't eat us first.”

“Okay, okay – so it's not a good idea.  What about mural painting?  I bet it would be easier to paint something that isn't small.”

Sweetie Belle shot this idea down.  “Rarity would kill me if I got one drop of paint on my coat or mane.”

“Yeah, it's not a whole lot safer then manticore taming when Rarity gets mad,” Apple Bloom added.  After a long pause, she came up with an excellent idea – as far as the other crusaders were concerned, at least.  “Let's go get some ice cream?”

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle both jumped excitedly.  “Yeah!” Scootaloo said, “All this thinking is making my brain hurt.”

“Let's go!” Sweetie exclaimed, pushing Apple Bloom out of the clubhouse before her.

Sweetie Belle trotted down the ramp as Apple Bloom jumped down in two jumps, and Scootaloo just buzzed in a diagonal line down to the ground.  They had only been walking to Sugarcube Corner for about half a minute, when a familiar voice cut through the bushes.

“Sweetie Belle dear, is that you?  It was Rarity, though they couldn't see her.

Sweetie Belle paused for a moment, about to ask out loud why Rarity was looking for her; a moment before the words left her mouth, she put the pieces together.  “Run,” she whispered to the other crusaders, there wasn't time to tell them why just yet.

Scootaloo ran off immediately, Apple Bloom paused for a moment, though Sweetie Belle did not wait for her.  Soon enough, she figured Sweetie's reasons for telling them to run were probably valid.  She took off after the other two, hoping that Rarity hadn't heard them run off, and wouldn't follow.

Through trees and bushes the crusaders ran; after a few minutes they had reached the edge of Sweet Apple Acres, and slowed down once they reached the dirt road that lead there from Ponyville.  All three of them were panting heavily.

Once Apple Bloom finally regained her breath, she glanced behind them, to see that Rarity did not seem to have followed, and asked, “You wanna tell us why we're runnin' from your sister?”

“Uh, Well.”  She was panting.  “I heard she was making a school-filly's fashion line for some of the Canterlot schools...” She trailed off, attempting to finish regaining her own breath.

“So, she's lookin' for... uh, models?”

Sweetie Belle nodded.  Scootaloo feigned puking, then said, “If Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon see us wearing any of that silly stuff, we're totally done for.”  Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom both nodded.

Apple Bloom picked up her pace, since they had all finally fully regained their breath, and said, “Let's go get our ice cream, and we'll figure out how to avoid Rarity after.”

The crusaders trotted down the road towards Ponyville, and the Sugarcube Corner contained within.  The time passed quickly, though they glanced backwards often, just in case Rarity was still looking for them.  Every passing moment increased how anxious the fillies felt.  As they walked through the streets on Ponyville, they passed many ponies, some greeted them warmly, while a few others avoided them.

Sugarcube Corner finally came into view, and the crusaders jogged the last stretch – the sooner they got inside, the less likely Rarity was to round a corner or such and haul them back into her little shop of filly-related horrors.  They reached the door and dashed inside.

Once they were in the partial safety of a building, the crusaders relaxed a bit.  A quick glance around the room, and tensions rose again.  It was completely empty, and the floor and walls behind the counter were covered and splattered with something red.  The crusaders took a step forward, with Sweetie Belle in the lead.

Pinkie Pie rose from behind the counter, an action which in itself was already startling, given the anxiety remaining from having to avoid Rarity – but Pinkie was holding a red-stained knife.

Sweetie belle screamed, and the other crusaders joined.  They might have fled the building if they weren't to scared to move.

Pinkie smiled, and pulled out a red-frosted cake from behind her, with a couple of pieces already cut out and missing,  ever-cheerful voice.  “You want a piece of cake?  I made it using a new recipe;  Mr. and Mrs. Cake tried a few pieces, but they had to go take Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake for a checkup at the hospital, so they left me in charge, and I was just asking Gummy for his opinion when you came in!”

Gummy walked out from behind the counter, a red smear around his face showing that he had indeed eaten some of the cake.

Sweetie Belle was shaking from the fright; Apple Bloom was trying not to hyperventilate; and Scootaloo was failing and hyperventilating anyway.

“Oh, uh, we- we thought that- uh, that you were-”  Sweetie Belle wasn't sure if it would be a good idea to tell Pinkie what they had been thinking.

Pinkie Pie glanced at a nearby bottle of ketchup.  “Nope!”  It seemed quite likely that she had no idea what the crusaders had actually been thinking.

“Well, that's not exactly what I meant...”  Sweetie Belle trailed off, trying to think of what to say.  “Uh, I'm glad that you're not... uh, well... not whatever it was we were thinking.”

“You're welcome!  So...”  Pinkie Pie grabbed a few slices of cake and stuffed them into the crusader's mouths far faster then they could decline.  “How does it taste?”

Sweetie Belle's eyes started watering, she could hear Apple Bloom gagging behind her, and Scootaloo started choking – as she was still hyperventilating when the cake was thrust upon her.  After a few moments, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom swallowed their cake, and Scootaloo was no longer choking, having spit hers out, she now had a priceless face of utter disgust.

The sweetness of the cake was there, but completely overwhelmed by a burning spicy flavor, like somepony had added pure capsaicin oil to the recipe.

“It's... so... spicy,” Apple Bloom choked out; it was hard to talk, let alone breathe, after eating a slice of Pinkie Pie's new cake.

“It certainly was...”  Sweetie Belle trailed off and coughed.  She started to wonder why she swallowed, and if it would have been worth spitting it out in front of Pinkie Pie, even if it could hurt her feelings.  “It was... something.”  She couldn't even bring herself to tell Pinkie Pie that it tasted bad.  It didn't help that Pinkie was waiting expectantly.  Apple Bloom couldn't either, but Scootaloo had no such reservations.

“That is the worst cake I have ever had.”  Scootaloo stated, quite sourly.  At least she was no longer hyperventilating, though she looked like she was going to faint.

Pinkie Pie took it pretty well.  She shrugged and said, “Well, maybe the habanero pepper frosting was a bit much.”

“You put what in the frosting?” Apple Bloom asked, in partial disbelief.

“Peppers!  I love hot sauce on cupcakes!”  Pinkie Pie jumped at the opportunity to answer the question, doing so with ridiculous hoof-gestures the whole time.  “And yesterday I got this really good idea:  What if I just put hot sauce on a cake instead of a cupcake.  And then I got another really good idea:  What if I put hot sauce in the recipe for a cake?  Then I wouldn't even have to worry about accidentally spilling some onto the nachos when I pour it on!”

“That's so gross, Pinkie,” said Scootaloo.  “Anyway, we came here for ice cream, but I feel like something exploded in my stomach.”  Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle nodded in Pinkie Pie's direction.

“Ooooh yummy!  Do you want to try my new wasabi flavored-”

“No!” all three of them replied.

“I think I'm gonna go back home and lay down,” Apple Bloom said, holding a hoof to her stomach.

“Sounds good,” Scootaloo replied.  She was still shaking slightly from her choking fit.  “Good luck avoiding Rarity,” she said to Sweetie Belle.

“...thanks...”  Sweetie Belle felt somewhat doomed, and nauseous.

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo departed, and Sweetie Belle didn't wish to stay at Sugarcube Corner any longer, leaving a slightly sorry Pinkie Pie, who decided to make it up to the fillies soon.  Somehow.

Sweetie Belle had been on her way to her parent's house, and she was just passing by the Carousel Boutique – which had been a mistake not to avoid – when a familiar voice made her stomach lurch, which was not a pleasant sensation.

“There you are dear!  I've been looking all over for you!”  Rarity had found her, and started dragging her inside to Boutique.  “Come along please, there are some dresses I would really like for you to try on.”

“Awww.  Rarity, I don't feel so well.”

Rarity ignored her sister and continued to pull the filly towards the Boutique.  She levitated the first dress towards her little sister once they got inside, and pulled it on.  She considered it for a moment.  “Hmm...  maybe a little more turquoise accent.”

Sweetie Belle felt her nausea returning.  Moments later, Rarity tightened a ribbon around her stomach.

The resulting yell could be heard by both of the other crusaders.

“SWEETIE BELLE!”

A quiet reply came next.  “I told you I wasn't feeling so well...”