Life of the Average Human in Equestria

Jeez, that's second time that Princess Luna has appeared in my dreams without my consent.

I sat up my bed, arms folded. A frown spread across my face.

Can I get one night of actual sleep?

I groaned angrily, my brows furrowing as I did so.

I'm exhausted. I got so scared of dying that I woke up in the middle of the night with sweat dribbling down my face.

I rubbed my eyes and decide that I'm not going to sleep. At least, not with that crazy bitch Princess trying to kill me.

I sighed, looking around my room.

Still the same place I slept in the previous night, dark though. Nearly pitch black, if you will.

I suddenly hear snoring coming from behind me.

I look over my shoulder only to see that Moonlit is still sleeping, a smile on his face.

I wished my dreams could be peaceful, but I know they won't with that Princess in them.

I wished I wasn't hated by royalty. What did I ever do that pissed them off?

Maybe the people that came before me caused problems, but I didn't do anything bad.

"Hey mister?" I hear Moonlit ask softly.

"Yeah Moonlit?"

"Why are you not sleeping?"

"Because I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because a Princess keeps attacking me when I didn't do anything wrong"

There's a long, awkward moment of silence in the room.

I spoke up, "Hey Moonlit?"

"Yeah?"

"Go to sleep." I said, with a little more force than before.

I look over my should and see Moonlit, his big eyes closed. A smile spread across his face, again.

I sighed softly, and laid on the bed. My arms folded behind my head.

I slowly closed my eyes, hoping to just rest them for a minute.

But instead of resting my eyes, I drifted off into dreamland.

I quickly opened my eyes, looking around.

I didn't know if I was dreaming, or if I was awake, because I was in the same room, in the morning.

I tried to do a few tests to see if I'm dreaming. I first try to make the area around me change, but that didn't work. Then I tried to make something appear out of thin air, that didn't work either.

So I'm guessing that it's not a dream, but that means today was Moonlit's birthday.

I hopped off the bed silently, trying my best not to make a sound.

I tip-toed over to the door, looking over my shoulder to see if Moonlit was awake.

His eyes are closed, and so I pulled the door slowly, exited the room, and headed downstairs.

I toke my time today to catch every detail of the house. There's the bathroom, Black Night & Ruby's bedroom, our bedroom, and, of course, the staircase that lead down to the first floor.

I walked through the hallway, looking at all the pictures that hung on the wall.

I stopped to look at a particular picture that was cute in every way.

It was a picture of Moonlit when he was a foal, and his dad holding him on his back, smiling.

I smiled at the adorable picture and headed down the stairs.

I peeked into the living room to see if anyone was there, but there wasn't. So I headed to the kitchen.

I peeked into the kitchen and spotted Black Night looking out an open window above the sink.

He heard my footsteps and glanced over to me.

"Good morning Black," I said happily, "You know it's Moonlit's birthday today, right?" I asked, giving him a knowing look.

"Of course I know it is Jack," He answered back, "I wouldn't forget my own son's birthday."

"Good, but here's the thing," I say sheepishly, "I want to get your son a present but I don't know what to get him. Any ideas?"

Black Night put his hoof on his chin thoughtfully.

"Well, he always asked for some cider from Sweet Apple Acres. Not Hard Cider, just normal cider. But he never gets any." He said, looking back at the window.

"I don't think I can get that. You know, with Applejack kicking me out and all." I said with a sad frown.

I walked over to the table and sat down in a chair, thinking of what else to get Moonlit for his birthday.

"He also wanted a party hosted by Pinkie Pie, but that happens every year." He said, looking at the fridge.

My stomach grumbled loudly. I stood up and walked towards the fridge.

"You want something to eat Black or you OK?" I asked, looking over my shoulder at Black Night.

He shakes his head, "I'm fine." He said, looking at the ground.

I shrugged and grabbed a cereal box, bowl, and some milk. I poured the cereal into the bowl and then poured milk into it. The cereal was called, "Hay Bits". Weird name for a cereal, then again, this isn't Earth.

I bring the bowl to the table and take a bite. Tastes like peas, but wasn't half bad actually.

I ate the rest of the cereal and chug the leftover milk that was in the bowl. I walked over to the sink and washed the bowl.

"Hey Jack?" Black Night asked, sounding worried.

"Yeah?"

"This is going to sound mean, but when you run into any of the Elements or Royal Guard, could you leave so you don't ruin my son's birthday?" He asked, looking at me sadly.

It took me a while to respond to that question.

I just nodded and hanged my head, looking away from him.

"Hello dad! Hi mister." A voice said from behind.

I turned around and saw Moonlit looking at us with a big grin on his face.

"Hey birthday boy. What's up?" I asked, looking at the surprisingly energized colt.

"Nothing, just really excited for my birthday! I want to invite a certain filly but I'm to shy to do it." He said sheepishly, a blush spreading over his cheeks.

I blink in surprise. He likes a filly at this age? Wow, I started getting girls at the age sixteen or something like that. But this colt has the nerve to do it now.

"Who's the special filly, if I may ask?" I asked, looking at him playfully.

"Um... I don't want to be teased by dad or anything, so could I whisper it to both of you privately?" He asked, his blush getting darker.

Me and Black Night looked at each other. Both of us were surprised, we never expected this from a colt. We both nodded though, giving him a caring smile.

"OK, dad, I am telling you first." He said, signaling his dad to follow him.

Black Night follows Moonlit around a corner and I heard words being muttered.

Black Night comes out from around the corner wide eyed, looking at me worriedly.

"OK, you now mister." Moonlit said, now signaling me to come around the corner.

I did so, and sat next to him so he could whisper in my ear.

"Wait a minute," He said, peeking around the corner to make sure his father wasn't eavesdropping, "OK, so, the filly I like is... well... kind of a sister to one of the Elements." He said, smiling sheepishly. "Her name is Applebloom, and she's really nice. To me at least." He said, suddenly fascinated with the ground, his blush getting darker.

"Who's the sister of Applebloom exactly?" I asked, giving him a questionable look.

Please don't say Applejack, please don't say Applejack, please don't say Applejack! I thought over and over again.

"It's... Um... It's Applejack." He said sheepishly, looking at me nervously.

It felt like my head exploded. My heart stopped beating, everything stopped for a moment or two.

He looked at me confused.

I ran my hand through my hair, trying to process all of the info.

Why does it have to be Applejack out of all the ponies in this world?

I sighed, looking at him nervously.

I stood up, and headed back to the kitchen.

I leaned against the wall, my hands covering my face. Why the fuck does it have to be Applejack?

"So... Um... Mister?" Moonlit asked me.

"Yeah?" I asked, my voice muffled because of my hands.

"I don't mean to be demanding or anything," he started, looking at me sheepishly, "Could you give the invite to Applebloom?"

I looked at him furiously, trying to decide what to do.

If I accept, I had a chance of being arrested by Applejack. If I decline, I would make the little colt sad, and everypony would hate me.

I rolled my eyes, "Fine, but I need to know where she is." I said, looking at him angrily.

"She'll be out in front of Ponyville Elementary after school. " He said thankfully, smiling at me.

"Where's that exactly?" I asked impatiently.

"Follow me and I'll show ya'." He said, heading towards the door, grabbing a pencil as he does so.

"Hey now! Where do you think you're going?" Black Night asked worriedly.

"I'm going to go show mister the Elementary School." He said looking at his father confused.

Is that what he's calling me? Mister? Jeez, I should probably tell him my name later.

"No you're not. Not with him at least." Black Night said pointing a hoof at me.

"Why not dad?" Moonlit asked sadly.

"Because," he said getting up and heading towards us, "If you go out there and he gets caught with you, you'll get in serious trouble."

I looked down at Moonlit who is nearly in tears, then I looked back at Black Night frowning.

Black Night just gave me an angry look.

"I can go alone, I know what a school looks like." I said, giving Moonlit a comfortable smile.

I glanced over to Black Night who just rolled his eyes, "Since you have school today, Moonlit, I'll let him 'escort you' to school." Black Night said, cursing under his breath.

"Thank you!" Moonlit said, giving his dad a long hug.

"Jack, you better not get him in trouble or I'll beat your a~" I cut him off, putting a hand over his muzzle and pointing at Moonlit, who is still hugging his father happily.

His eyes widened, and he nodded.

He pulled my head down and whispered into my ear, "I'll beat your ass if that boy gets into any type of trouble or danger."

I stood back up and looked back down at Black Night, who is now pissed off because Moonlit is going outside with me.

I sighed, looking back at Moonlit.

"Come on birthday boy, show me where the school is." I said, giving a fake smile.

"OK, bye dad!" Moonlit yelled, exiting the room.

"Bye Moonlit!" Black Night said with a worried smile.

I walked over to the door, and left the building with Moonlit.

We were heading down the cobblestone steps, and then Moonlit asked, "Do you have an issue with Applebloom's sis?"

I shrugged, "Depends on what you mean by, 'issue'." I said, giving him an annoyed look.

"What I mean is, did you ever run into Applejack and get in trouble?"

"Well, in that case, yes."

"What'd you do?"

"Stole an apple and ate it."

"Really? Why?"

"Hungry."

"Wh~" I stopped him mid sentence by waving a hand.

I knew where this was going, and I didn't want to talk about it.

We were silent the whole trip to the Elementary School, not even looking at each other.

I then spotted a giant crystal castle, with a star at the tip. I'm guessing its Princess Twilight's, I don't know. Don't really care either.

We soon came to a small building with a bell at the top. It looked like a church, but Moonlit said it's a school.

"OK, think you can stay here until Applebloom gets here?" He asked, looking up at me happily.

I nodded, "What's she look like?" I asked questionably.

"Well," Moonlit started, putting a hoof to his chin, "She has a giant red ribbon on her head, she's yellowish, she has her sister's accent, and she runs around with two other filly's named Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell." He said, giving me a big grin.

"That all?" I asked, waiting to see if there was anything else I needed to know.

"Yep. See you after school!" He said as he walked into the elementary school.

"OK, bye!" I replied back, watching him walk into the school.

I sat there for a while, waiting for the filly that fit the description.

A few filly's gave me confused looks, but they just walked past me and into the school.

Then I heard the words, "Come on Applebloom!" from an orange Pegasus with a dark purple mane.

Then I saw the cowgirl's sister and stood up quickly.

Next came a small, white unicorn with a very light pink mane.

They all stopped when I blocked the entrance to the school.

"What are you doing?" The orange filly asked, looking up at me cautiously.

"I need to speak to Applebloom." I said sternly, keeping an eye on the orange one.

"Why?" The orange Pegasus asked accusingly.

"Because, somepony," I said, pointing at Applebloom, "Needs an invitation to get into somepony's party. I was told to give it to her personally."

"Ah'm right here, what do ya need ta give me?" The red mane filly asked. She sounded so much like Applejack, but was so much smaller.

"Applebloom, this is for you." I say, pulling out an envelope and handing it to her. "Only you are allowed to read. No one else, got it?" I ask, looking at her sternly.

"Yep, thank ya kindly sir." She says smiling, then walking past me into the school.

Then the white unicorn goes by.

I blocked the path of the orange filly and sat down next to her.

"Listen," I said sternly, "Tell me why you sounded mean?" I asked her, looking at her seriously.

"Because," she said, getting in my face, "I don't who you are and I don't know what you are, but I don't want you hurting my friends!" She yelled.

"I won't," I said calmly, "But if you ever threaten me like that again, you'll be in serious pain in a hospital. You know, with needles and stuff." I said angrily.

Her face got redder. She looked like a volcano, but that volcano wouldn't explode.

She grunted and pushed pass me angrily.

I crossed my arms and headed back to the house.

What was up with that filly? I mean seriously, she threatened me for being around her friends! Who does that?

I sighed, looking down at my feet.

I walked like this for a while until I ran into somepony.

I fell back and landed on my back.

I slowly got up, grunting as I did so.

I looked forwards and saw Applejack looking back at me, anger in her eyes.

My eyes widened and I slowly got up.

She looked at me, giving me a n even more pissed look.

"What do you think you're doing?" She asked, getting closer to me.

"I... Um... I-I delivered a message to your sis about being invited to the little colt's birthday party." I said sheepish smile.

She gave me an untrustworthy look.

Sweat was now rolling down my forehead and onto my chin.

I backed up into a tree, and she stood there, two feet away, looking up at me with anger.

I pressed against the tree, praying to God that I wouldn't get hurt.

"I'm going to ask my sis if that happened, and if she says no, you're going ta need lots of surgery ta fix yourself up when ah'm done with ya." She said, giving me a hopeful look.

I slowly walked past her, not making eye contact.

I heard a sigh come from behind me, looking over my shoulder only to see that Applejack's head was hanging low.

"You ok, Applejack?" I asked, looking at her worriedly.

She glanced back at me.

"Why?" She asks, eyeing me closely.

"Well, you look kinda sad right now. With your head hung low and all." I said, giving her a comforting smile.

She sighed, playing with the dirt on the ground.

"Well," she said suddenly, "Ah know the colt your talkin' about, ah'm actually good friends with the colt. He's so nice, he makes me happy. But the bad part about that, is that ah have ta turn you in after his birthday. It just don't feel right ta me." She said sadly, hanging her head.

I walked over and put a hand on her shoulder or whatever the top of a pony's foreleg is.

"You don't have to, but if it needs to happen Applejack, I'll let it happen without a fight." I said, looking at her knowingly.

"Really? Just like that?" She asked, giving me a confused look.

"Yeah, but that means I can say goodbye to Moonlit. Right?" I asked.

"Yeah, but that's if I decide to turn you in." She said with a grin.

My eyes widened, a smile slowly spreading across my face.

"Really? You won't turn me in?" I asked excitedly, getting ready to pull her into a hug.

"Not if ah don't wanna." She said, smiling.

That's when I decided to pull her into a hug.

With a eep from Applejack, I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a big hug.

"Thank you." I whispered into her ear.

I stood up and walked the other way, a smile spread across my face.

"Your welcome!" Applejack yelled behind me.

I just hummed all the way back home.

What a beautiful night, the stars were out, the wind was calm, and it was quiet.

That is, until I got to the party.

I was walking down a dark, dirt road that lead to where the party is. There were apple trees lined up around the road. Obviously Applejack's trees.

It toke a few minutes to finally reach the party.

Luckily, the lights were so bright they illuminated the sky in a flurry of colors, kinda like the Northern Lights.

It was all going down at Applejack's farm. Only because Applejack was best friends with Moonlit.

I saw the entrance to Sweet Apple Acres, it was filled with ponies. All came with different shapes and sizes.

I had to draw minimal attention if I didn't want to get arrested.

I pulled the hood of my cloak around my head, and headed through the entrance.

The place was packed with ponies, barely any space to walk.

I tried to look for Moonlit, scanning the crowd closely.

I spotted a dark red colt with wings talking to a tall, pink-mane Earth Pony.

Wait a minute, she sounded familiar.

I studied her closely, catching her every detail.

Let me see, she had a pink mane, slightly brighter pink coat, always had a smile, looked full of energy, and was making friends.

Yep, she fit the description. That, my friends, was Pinkie Pie.

I walked over slowly, doing my best not to draw attention.

As soon as I reached Moonlit, Pinkie was gone. I didn't know where she went, but she wasn't here.

"Enjoying the party Moonlit?" I asked, giving Moonlit a joking look.

He turned to me and nodded happily.

"What about Applebloom?" I asked.

Moonlit just giave me a sheepish smile with a little blush on his cheeks.

"What about her?" Applejack's voice asked behind me.

I looked over my shoulder and saw that Applejack was standing right behind me, a questionable look on her face.

"Oh... Um... Nothing." I said. Now I had the sheepish smile.

"Really? Hey Moonlit?" She asked, peeking behind me.

"Yeah?"

"Could you come out for a minute?"

"Yeah.. Um... Sure." Moonlit said softly, obviously not wanting anything to do with the conversation.

"Tell me what Jack was talkin' about. You two aren't keepin' a secret from me are ya?" She asked Moonlit, looking at him suspiciously.

"No! Not at all!" Moonlit said, a fake smile spread across his face.

Applejack just glared at him, knowing that he'd let it all out soon.

Soon, he did.

He explained everything about how he had a crush on Applebloom.

Really wasn't that big of a deal actually, but Applejack made it seem that way.

Applejack stood there, mouth agape. I could tell she was trying to process all the info.

After a few minutes of silence, Applejack asked a question to verify the information that she had received.

"You like mah sister? You like Applebloom?" Applejack asked, a surprised look on her face.

"Um..." Moonlit said softly, not making eye contact with Applejack, "Kinda... do."

Jesus Christ. Could this Pony-infested world be any more dramatic? The music just changed to slow music. Slow music! Just for that!

But the look on Applejack's face was priceless, I could barely hold it all in.

Applejack's mouth was an 'O' and her eyes were mere pinpricks. So goddamn hilarious.

OK, stop thinking about it before I burst out laughing.

I walked over to Applejack, who wouldn't stop staring at Moonlit, and whispered in her ear, "He loves Applebloom." I said, ready for a punch or something like that.

Surprisingly, she didn't do anything like that. She just smiled at Moonlit knowingly.

"Moonlit?" Applejack asked softly.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad ya like my sis."

Those last words made me think that life had just gone bonkers. I thought Applejack would need more time to process all this or something, but I guess she doesn't need any.

Moonlit blushed heavily, making his cheeks as red as a rose.

"Hey sis! Hey Moonlit! Hello mister." A cowgirl voice sounded behind Applejack.

Applejack looked over her shoulder and spots Applebloom trotting over.

"Hey sis, what's up?" She asked, giving me a mischievous grin.

"Nothin' much. How's it going Moonlit?" She asked, tearing her gaze from her sister to Moonlit.

"Oh... Um... Hey." Moonlit said sheepishly, looking at the ground.

"What's wrong Moonlit?" Applebloom asked, looking at Moonlit curiously.

"Um... Well... Could follow me for a minute please?" Moonlit asked sheepishly.

They disappeared into the immense crowd of ponies.

"Hey Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for makin' this happen for my sis." She said, looking at me thankfully.

"No problem." I responded.

From there on out, the rest of the party went surprisingly well. I didn't here back from Moonlit for a while. Then the party ended and I walked home with Moonlit.

"So," I said, looking down at Moonlit, "How did Applebloom respond?"

"Oh... Um... Well," he said, blushing like a rose, "Me and her are you-know-what."

"Awesome, good luck too." I said with a comforting grin.

We soon reached the house and meet Black Night at the door. We told him how the party went but didn't tell him about Applebloom.

Me and Moonlit headed upstairs and into our room. We hopped onto our bed and sleep the night away.

"Hey Jack?" Moonlit asked softly.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"Your welcome."

And with that, we both fell asleep, ready for the next day.