"... The dark one grows angry, Princess. I know you don't want death to occur, but you need it for everyone else's safety."

Death?! This concept I have only heard of in large from a crazy preacher named H8_Seed, who though there was a whole facility made to slaughter to create rainbows. The loon probably just wanted to justify the missing.

"...again, as this is only for regal benefit. Our newest Excretory Officer should know the ropes and an ding only such officers can get this, so there should be no interference. Due to the new agreement, we must give Cerberus three sacrifices instead of one for our immortality and lack of war. Do you have a list of them?"

Cerberus needs the sacrifices? I always thought he was as lovable as a puppy with no harmful intentions. Why must the best friends be the most evil?!

"We took your orders to heart and found the ones giving you the least praise. These three happen to be Digi, Cobaltsky, and..."

The tapping drifted off as I found myself lying on the floor. My vision flashed twice and suddenly three hours had passed. I have no idea how I slept through the tapping; what woke me up, though, was even more surprising, as it was the light flap flap of a Pegasus coming to a halt near my house. I thought nothing of it until I remembered the tapping. I never heard the last name. It could be them coming to kill me for Cerberus. I was now paranoid, twitching like a child with Tourette Syndrome. They were going to kill me. My grandfather knew all along. He gave me not riches or property, but life. I must kill them before they kill me.

I got a knife with my magic and move toward the door. I opened it and slashed for the visitor, missing by just a few centimeters. Rage filled my eyes but then released, as Geo was standing right in front of me, looking more confused than he could ever look while comprehending a book. He stood still, sensing my distress, but he obviously had something on his mind as well.

"Don't worry" he finally said. "I'm just here to ask you stuff for my job."

That I could understand, so I quickly started making some tea as an apology while inviting him in. I set him down as some Mandarin Silk Oolong brewed and treated him with all due respect. I know he enjoyed my company either way, but almost stabbing someone innocent needed a bit more.

Once the tea was done, I brought it to him and we began to converse.

"Now, what did you need to ask me?" I asked.

" I'm sorry to be so Professor Oak right now, but are you a boy or girl?"

"Girl."

"Gender at birth?"

"Male."

"Thank you! I just needed it for some paperwork."

I looked over just to see a bit of the page. There wasn't much I could see, but what I did see was a single word: "excretory."

Oh my Celestia!

Holy Shit!

It's me.

IT'S ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author's Note

Note