I'm not quite sure how to start one of these, so I'll just jump to the point. I'm... I'm miserable. My life has become unbearable for whatever reason. I say this because I myself, do not know why... Maybe I just don't know how to count my blessings... Maybe I just don't care...
Milky Way... Do not take this the wrong way... Please do not take this the wrong way. I care about you so much. You don't even know, you can't imagine. You are one of the only ponies or anything for that matter that has kept me here for so long. I'd have been gone long before now if it hadn't been for you.
I'm so sorry... I really am Milky... You have spent countless nights over the past two years tending to my unstable emotions and fragile heart. I still do not know what you see in me... or rather... What you saw. I just hope you can forgive me.
I'll remember you forever. Your sparkling ruby colored eyes, the soft touch of your hooves and your sweet smelling dark lavender fur. I'll miss your cascading purple and black mane, and it's messy appearance upon waking up in the morning. I'll miss they way you bopp me on the muzzle every time I point it out, and then the remorse in your eyes and the kiss you'd give me to make up for it.
I'll miss the delicate silky feathers of your wings, and the way you'd wrap them around me if ever I was feeling down or when we lay together at night. I'll miss holding you in my own hooves and wings all the same.
I'll miss your warmth, the kind you can only get from the pony you care about, the one and only you lay with every night.
Also... Remember when you would entwine your tail with mine whenever we sat side by side, and how I told you it annoyed me when we were in public? I lied. It made me feel very special, and I was just being shy.
One last thing. I'm sorry I never told you I loved you, and that I never will. I would have told you before you went to sleep tonight but I didn't want to make it harder for you to let go. Do not mourn for me too long, and if I could ask one more thing from you... It would be to move on.
You don't deserve this, and I'm so sorry... I can't say it enough. I want you to find love one day, somepony much better than me. I really do. I don't blame you if you never forgive me, and if it will make you happy, I want you to forget me.
For my fellow guards, I know this is not good for morale but... I'm just done. Of course I hated the job, but that is hardly the reason for this. I also apologize for whoever has to cover down for me. I ask that the Captain gives you whatever pay I have earned for the month in exchange.
Too the Captain himself. You didn't help. I do understand however that your stern behavior and unforgiving nature where part of the job so I won't try and place blame. Not that you'd care if I did...
To any and all who may be concerned...
I'm weak... I know. I hate myself for it. Hate myself even as I write this, but this is a way out. It's a choice. My choice. I just can't anymore. I just want to make it clear that nopony but myself caused this.
What's in this house is Milky's to decide what to do with.
This is it...
Goodbye.
Ps. This feather is for you Milky, in case you wish to remember me.
Evac Lite
Evac looked down at the note, resisting the urge to shred it then and there. He just couldn't, he needed to do this. If he didn't he'd spend most of his time regretting life and that was worse than death. He'd managed to keep his hoofwriting in check and most of the tears off the parchment as he wrote even though he'd been sobbing quietly the entire time.
With a calmness alien to him he placed the quill down beside the parchment and plucked one of his feathers from his wing, wincing at the sting and placing it on the desk below the note. Slowly he got out of his seat. There was no need to rush now. He had one last thing he wanted to do. He wanted to see her one last time.
Quietly he crept out of the office, down the hall and into his bedroom. He could just barely make out the small lump on the bed that was his mare. She was curled up in the covers and looked so peaceful. He crept over to the bedside and looked down into her stunning complexion and hated himself more, because he loved her.
She was smiling in her sleep, breathing soundly and was quiet as a filly. Evac took the covers and slowly peeled them back off of her. He wanted to see her, and she was beautiful. Her body slim and perfect, her coat shining even in the dim light. Her feathers neatly groomed, partly do to the preening they would give one another. He had a feeling she went back and redid her own in secret so as to hide the fact he sucked at it. The thought brought a lonely smile to his muzzle. Her ruffled mane covered half her face and her tail curled around one of her out stretched hind legs. All that was missing from this picture were her eyes, but he didn't dare wake her.
With a sniffle he leaned forward, planting his lips delicately on her cheek and holding them there for only a second before pulling away. “I love you Milky.” He choked back another sob and pulled the blankets back over top her so she wouldn't wake up cold.
With one last look he turned away and crept out of the room resisting the urge to run back to her, to wake her and sob. If he looked back he'd cave, and he needed this. After shutting the door as quietly as possible he made his way back into the room with the tool of his demise sitting beside the quill and parchment. A small knife that he normally cooked with. It scared him now, as he sat at the desk staring down at it.
I could go back, could stop this right now... Tear up the letter and be done with it. Kiss Milky good morning and go to work... Then what? Start this all over again? No! I can't live like this... I can't live.
He shook his head with anger slammed his hoof down on the desk, flinching at the sound that threatened to wake the sleeping mare in the next room.
For minutes on end he sat and waited, waited for the slightest sound that she had stirred and realized he wasn't there, but all remained quiet. With a sigh and a silent growl to scold himself for his carelessness he picked up the blade. Now... Or never. If he thought about it any longer he'd back out and lose the confidence and courage he needed to pull this off.
He needed something to bite down on as to not scream. However the only thing he could find to fit this need was a box of tissues. What it was didn't matter, so he took a hoof full of them and stuffed half of the knot in his mouth. Then looked down at the knife.
The move was sloppy and reckless, much like any gesture provoked by fear or anger. However it was effective. A quick stab pierced his foreleg and he bit down hard on the tissue as the pain nearly sent him into shock. He avoided the sight of the blood that was already pouring from the wound. Panic nearly forced his to pull away, to instinctively call for help but his determination kept him in place.
In another quick gesture he pulled up, cutting several inches up his foreleg, then threw the blade away and let the knot of tissue fall from his muzzle as he gasped for air and whimpered pathetically. It still took all he had not to scream and still he avoided the sight.
He didn't have to see it, he could feel the warm blood soak his fur and his foreleg start to numb. He laid his head on the desk before it fell involuntarily, facing away from the injury that was already sapping away at his consciousness. Adrenalin hit hard but he knew it would do nothing if he did not act on it.
Evac didn't want to act on it. He felt himself getting colder and colder and an overwhelming calm take over. So this is what it's like... He tried to move, but found his head had grown heavy, and his uninjured foreleg refused to cooperate past sliding over to his muzzle. He didn't care. There was no reason to care now, it'd be over soon.
It slowly became harder to think, to concentrate on anything at all. Time slowed down and his vision blurred. His body was numb, it may as well not have been there at all. He didn't even realize his breathing had nearly stopped until it stopped all together. In one last conscious action he closed his eyes and smiled. I-I'm done.
Evac groaned then sat up with a jolt looking around the room. He didn't recall going to sleep, and didn't remember where he was at. It didn't help that everything was in shades of black and white instead of in color. The desk in front of him was barren, all but a blank piece of parchment, a quill, and the knife. Then it hit him. He remembered what he had done. It felt like so long ago but it couldn't have been more than a few minutes.
Am I dead? He thought to himself though the fact that he could feel everything he touched perplexed him. He looked at his foreleg but it looked fine, no wound or blood.
“Yes, yes you are.”
Evac turned quickly and jumped from his seat. One of the last ponies he expected to see greeted his wide eyes.
Princess Luna stood not ten hooves away, and was the only thing with any color in the room. She looked inert to the situation. Only one question came to mind. “T-Then why are you here? Are you dead?”
“No, we are not dead.” Luna replied in an even tone.
“We?” Evac responded.
“Forgive me.” Luna shook her head slowly realizing her mistake. “My speech is not quite as modern as your own. I meant that I am not dead. You... You are very much deceased.”
“H-how?”
“I am the Princess of the night. I talk to ponies in their dreams. It seems fate has allowed you one last dream before you slip away. I figured I'd pay you a visit one last time before you've gone.”
Luna's neutrality bugged him. “One last? You mean that before you have-”
“Of course. You are quite the troubled one... Or were. We just never allowed you to see us before.” She shook her head again. “Apologies... Anyway, Usually I let nature take it's course but occasionally I would dull the edge on a particularly nasty nightmare or fan the flames of a blissful dream though I would never interfere all too much. It is wrong to tempt the power of nature which is so much more potent than my own, or even my sisters.” At last she smiled, a feint smile but it was there.
“Then why now?” He suddenly felt much more confident. He was dead, there was no reason to be afraid in his mind, or the illusion of his mind anyway.
“You're dead Evac. You have slipped through the cracks and are no longer bound by any laws that govern life, thus, for a short time I can do with you what I please.” She seemed rather pleased with herself.
Suddenly fear gripped him again. Was she going to punish him? “What are you going to do?” He'd almost choked on the question.
“Do not fear. We aren't going to hurt you.” She shook her head again and muttered to herself. “I am not going to hurt you. I simply wish to show you a few things before you pass too far. We haven't much time however. Please, right this way.” She didn't wait for a reply as she turned and left the room.”
“Hey Wait!” He ran after her and turned down the hall just in time to see her cut the corner into the living room. He panicked and ran after her. The reality of the situation gripped him and and he didn't want to be alone. She couldn't just leave him here without at least an explanation.
Luckily when he made it to his living room he saw her stopped at his front door, turning her head to look at him. Once he made it to her side she started trotting again, not giving him the chance to ask any questions. A few moments later she took off into the gray sky, Evac flew close behind.
Something was different however. Even through the mono tone black and white he could tell that time was progressing much faster than it should. The clouds moved faster, the moon set in the matter of a minute while the sun was up not a second later. He looked down to the town but everything was blurred. He looked up to Luna.
Her horn wasn't glowing. Was she doing this? She seemed so calm. Could she use magic without a trace? Why would she bother? What was going on anyway? “Princess Luna...”
“Come.” She replied, diving back down to the ground.
Evac hadn't a choice but to follow. The closer they got to the ground the clearer things became, and time seemed to return to reality. However the town was still devoid of color.
They touched ground and everything seemed to be as it should besides the lack of color. Evac saw ponies walking about, however he couldn't figure out why nopony even acknowledged the Princess. He got this answer as soon as he attempted to dodge a filly that had been running toward his side. He was too late to move and yelped, but felt nothing. The filly passed right through him, laughing as if she'd not seen him. He took a couple of steps back to get a grip on his bearing.
“Princess... H-how? She hit me? Or... She should have. She didn't even see me. She... passed right through me.” He was dumbfounded for the moment.
“They are not here Evac, or rather... You are not here.” Princess Luna turned to face him.
“So... This is an illusion?” Evac stammered.
“Not quite my child... This is Ponyville... What would have been your morning.” For the first time she looked a little glum.
“Oh...” He felt dumb... He didn't know what else to say.
“This way.” Again she failed to wait for any reply and turned toward a building on her right. It was his guard force's company.
It wasn't until then did he realize a few of the black and white guards with concern on their muzzles entering and exiting the building. He followed Princess Luna on her way inside.
He went to open the door but his hoof just passed through. He stumbled as if he'd missed a step and was halfway through the door. He shook his head in time to see Luna trot through as if there weren't a door at all.
Evac decided there was no point in asking any questions knowing the answer already. Inside the ponies looked worse. He noticed a few of his friends too... Iron Clad, an earth pony who was one of his best of friends was sitting against a wall with a blank look on his face, staring down at his weapon.
“Clad, hey Clad what's wrong?” Evac called, but got no reaction.
“Evac... He can not hear you.” Luna turned to him again. “You're not really here.”
Evac growled to himself and looked around. Steel Hoof was at his desk writing something with a deep frown embedded in his muzzle. Greaves and another guard he didn't know by name were arguing over something he couldn't quite make out. The sound was distorted and he could barely pick out even the simplest of words. However he did catch his name a few times.
“Princess... Please... Tell me what's going on... Why am I seeing this? What is this?” He didn't know what he wanted to know, much less what was actually going on.
“Like I told you, this is the morning after. They've discovered your body. You had more friends than you know in here. You can not feel it but the air is heavy with grief.” Even her own voice had a hint of sorrow laced within her words.
“But... They have to understand.” Evac sighed.
“How could they? You told them little. Nopony knew what you were feeling.” Luna replied.
Evac wanted to argue, but she was right. They knew nothing. He felt sick. A second later a crash jerked his senses and the very clear voice of his commander, Captain Smelter sounded through the building from down the hall. He could hear every one of his words unlike the rest.
“I Don't Give A Fuck! Find Somepony To Fill His Position Now!”
Evac started to run down the hall to see who he'd been yelling at but stopped to look at Luna. Would it be okay to leave her side in this dimension?
She didn't need to be asked. She nodded. “I'll wait here. Do not be too long.”
Evac took off down the hall to find a very demoralized Star Shine leaving the Captain's office with his tail tucked between his legs and head hanging low. He wanted to stop and comfort him... Almost tried until he remembered... So instead he watched him disappear down the hall before trotting into the Captain's office himself.
The Captain was sitting at his desk with his head in his hooves, breathing heavily. After a moment he lifted his head and muttered a curse Evac couldn't quite catch. “Somepony to fill his position?” Evac asked himself, turning away. “My position?” Of course his position...
Evac trotted back into the room where Luna waited as promised. “Princess... What's going on?” Evac asked.
“I think you know Evac. They sent a guard to your house, only to find out you were dead. Now they're looking for another guard to fill your spot in their ranks. Morale isn't exactly high.” Luna sighed.
Evac was growing frustrated with Luna, repeating the same thing over and over again. He was dead, why was she trying to make him feel this way. He should be gone by now, not feeling worse than when he had killed himself. “So they'll be upset for a few days. I was the one suffering. I was the depressed one, they'll be fine. I wouldn't have been.” Evac growled.
Luna's expression didn't change. “You really think it's that easy?” Luna shook her head solemnly and turned for the door. “Come along.”
“Why should I? What are you going to show me now? What happens if I don't go with you?” Evac stamped a hoof on the gray floor in defiance.
Luna stopped but didn't turn back. “If I pass through this door alone you will stay here forever. You'll never pass on.” With this said she continued walking.
Evac's eyes widened at this news and he forgot all about his argument as he rushed after her. However his anger hadn't faded. “This is cruel!” He stated as he caught her side. “I killed myself to get away from this shit.”
“All in time.” Luna replied. “We have more to see.”
They emerged back into the streets from the company but something was different. It was darker now, and not many ponies were in the street. Evac saw the gray orb of the sun descending that gave him the answer. It was evening. An entire day had passed from the company to the street.
Luna walked up to a young unicorn colt who was sitting on the curb with his head hung low. Evac couldn't see his orange fur or red mane but he recognized him right away. “Shuttle Hood?”
“Yes, this is him.” Luna sat beside the colt and looked down at the colt with a great deal of sadness. “I wish you could feel his sadness like I do.” Luna said after a long pause. “Do you remember him?”
“Yeah. He was being bullied by a few other colts a little bigger than him a few months back. I chased them off and took him home. He was a little hesitant to talk to me at first but once I did get him started he never stopped. So many questions about the guards.” Evac shook his head and actually smiled for a second. “What's wrong with him?”
“He's sad Evac... I told you this.” Luna sighed.
“But why?”
“I don't think you knew it but he idolized you after that day. He doesn't have any brothers or sisters so you were the closest thing he had to a role model. I guess you didn't notice him in the small crowds when something was going on or following you during your patrols. He is aspiring to be a guard like you... Used to be...”
Those last three words bit Evac and he shook his head. “I... I never knew any of that. I just thought he was a playful young colt like the rest.” Could this pony really have looked up to him? He was just doing his job... That's all it had been to him was a job.
“No Evac... You helped him. That's what he saw. He saw another pony trying to help him. You made him feel safe and gave him somepony to look up to, even if you didn't know it. He was waiting for you this morning outside of the company, and overheard two of the other guards talking about you. You'd think he'd lost his father from the despair that welled up inside him.” Luna cast her gaze back on the depressed colt.
Again there was that anger in his chest. “I'm sorry.” He growled. “But I can't change any of this. Not anymore. I just wanted to get away. This isn't my fault!”
“Then who's fault is it?” Luna answered calmly, looking back up at him with a cold gaze. “You felt as though everything would be just fine if you just... Disappeared?”
“It's my decision! It's my life!” Evac stamped the ground.
“It was your life...” Luna corrected, got up and began trotting slowly away.
Evac had a mind to let her go, but he remembered her warning of losing her in this world. This wasn't some place he wanted to be. So he followed. When they rounded the next corner things weren't as they should be. It wasn't the road that should have been there and the light had gone. Sugar Cube Corner was just ahead despite it being on the other side of town from the company and the moon was just above it. “How is this possible?”
“I told you... This is something like a dream. I am free to do anything I wish here as long as I do not alter reality. The laws of physics and time do not apply to me here.”
Evac thought about this for a moment, and how it made no sense. However nothing that was happening was making any sense anyway. He should have been long gone by now... He settled on a much simpler question. “We are we going now?”
“You will see.” Luna replied.
Evac grumbled annoyed and still very angry but didn't have much of a choice but to follow the vague Princess of the night.
She led him through a couple of streets he knew very well, then took an unexpected turn down an alley. Through the darkness Evac could see something going on, then hear the panicked shout of a pony, followed by laughter. Through his instinct alone he took off toward the sound.
Twenty hooves away there were four ponies, three earth ponies pushing and beating a Pegasus who didn't seem very happy. There was more shouting from the pegasi and more laughter from the earth ponies. Evac wondered why the pegasi didn't fly away until he got close enough to see his mangled wing in the dark. They'd broken his wing and were toying with him.
Evac charged at the closest earth stallion but fell through him upon his attempt to take him down. That's when he remembered. He recovered and watched in horror as they continued to beat the pegasi down, until he was curled up on the ground. They didn't stop there either and proceeded to stomp him into the dirt.
“That'll teach you to talk shit you waste of fur!” One of the earth ponies exclaimed as he continued to stomp the defenseless pegasi's head.
Evac ran back to Luna who stared on as if it weren't happening, as if they were merely fooling around.
“What are you doing!? Stop Them!” Evac growled in desperation. “They'll kill him!”
“As much as it pains me to say, I can not.” Luna took a deep breath and looked down at him. “This has already happened. I can not interfere.”
“But! This had nothing to do with me! Why are you showing me this?” He turned in time to see the end of the beating, and the three earth ponies wooping and laughing as they left the bloody mess of the pegasi behind. He wasn't moving and it made Evac sick.
“He'll live.” Luna finally stated. “He'll spend a week in the hospital after a passerby finds him in the morning. He'll never fly again however. They broke his wing beyond repair.”
“What has this got to do with me!? I didn't do this! I wouldn't have done this!” Evac was shouting now, angered at her complete lack of emotion toward the situation.
“You would have stopped it. You were the guard that would have been here to stop this.” Luna replied.
“But... But... I am a day guard.” Evac stammered. “They wouldn't have switched me to graveyard shift in one day.”
“This isn't the same day Evac... This is two weeks from your suicide. You would have been switched last week, and you would have taken this alley way as a short cut on your patrol to meet with another guard. The three earth ponies you just saw would have never have attacked that pony once they'd seen a guard around. However... You aren't here.” Luna explained. “You're dead.”
“T-that's not right! How would you know!?” Evac stamped his hoof again.
You've just seen it yourself Evac.” Luna replied patiently. She knew how this all sounded to him.
“It's a dream! That's what you do! You play with ponies's dreams!” Evac screamed.
“This is a different kind of dream. You are the spirit of who you were and I just so happen to be able to interact with you given my magic prowess. Is it not fair that you at the very least, see what it is you have done to these ponies? You've all but condemned them to their fates.” Luna snorted and looked away. “Is escaping all you care about?”
“No! I... I just.. I didn't want to hurt anymore.” Evac almost felt like crying, but was still far too angry.
To his dismay Luna stood up and began walking again. “Follow.” She ordered.
Evac shook his head and growled as the tears welled up. “No... I can't see anymore of this. I don't want to...”
Luna turned back to face him. “You haven't much of a choice.” She challenged.
Evac knew she was right. He was powerless here... Defenseless. He didn't like the feeling. “P-please.” He choked. “I can't... Just let me go...”
This is what she had been waiting for. Their pain was real to him now. He understood to some extent. “Just one more.” Luna cooed softly. “And I'll let you pass.”
Evac looked up, coughed and wiped his face. This was relieving to hear. Maybe five minutes until he wouldn't have to see, hear or feel any of this... “Fine.” He tried to sound strong but his voice cracked.
Luna smiled, turned and began to walk away. Evac followed.
All of a sudden time began to race again, and the fleeting images of the gray ponies were all throughout. The street they were on changed. Soon he found himself in front of his home, the dim light suggesting morning though it was still difficult to tell in the grayness of it all.
“What... You're going to show me my own body?” Evac huffed.
Luna frowned and shook her head. “No... Have you really forgotten her...”
“Her? You mean Milky! What happened!? Is she okay?”” Evac jumped up and ran through the door.
Luna followed slowly behind.
“Milky! Milky where are you!?” Evac ran throughout the house, noticing the body was gone from the room he was in and there wasn't a trace of the mess. He heard something in the other room, his room... Her room.
He ran in there as fast as his hooves would take him. He almost didn't believe the pony sitting on the bed was Milky. He took a couple of steps back and shook his head to clear it, then looked back into the room. He hoped the scene would have changed but it didn't.
The mare was a mess. Her mane was disheveled, her wings practically destroyed and her fur was messy. Nothing like the neat and tidy Milky. She was pulling on something tied around her left foreleg, a thick ribbon she was pulling tight with her muzzle. Evac trotted into the room, observing in horror and morbid curiosity.
Evac understood once she picked up the needle from her bedside. “Hey! What The Fuck!? Milky What The Fuck!?” He ran to her side and tried to slap the needle out of her hoof but his passed through hers. “Put It Down! What Are You Doing!?” He took a few steps back terrified, crying openly. He had no idea when he'd started.
“She didn't take it well.”
Evac turned on a hoof and confronted the Princess whom he'd all but forgot existed. “You Can't Do This!” He shouted at her.
“I didn't do this.” Luna shook her head.
“You can stop it! Please stop it! Stop it now!” Evac turned back in time to see Milky pull the needle from her foreleg and undo the ribbon. He heard her begin to cry as she hugged herself with her wings and covered her face with her forehooves.
“No... I can't stop this... We mustn't interfere.” Luna sat and waited as the stallion cried, staring at the scene before him.
“M-Milky...” He choked. “I'm so sorry... I didn't know... I couldn't have known. I should have known... I thought... I guess...” He was lost for words. “I love you...” He waited for an answer, but she couldn't hear him. Didn't even know he was there. He never got an answer.
“Did you think she would just forget about you?” Luna finally asked.
“I... I didn't think she would do this...” Evac answered.
“No. Do not lie to me.” Her demeanor was still calm, but an edge of malice had crept into her voice.
Evac flinched and turned back around. “I am not lying.”
“You just simply didn't care enough. You don't care about your friends... You don't care about those who idol you or those you help. You don't care about her.” She gestured with her hoof to the still crying mare.
An anger built in Evac's chest that he couldn't contain. He stood and felt the familiar spring in his wings as he challenged the Alicorn. It only angered him more when she failed to react. “You don't know shit! I loved them more than you'll ever know!”
“Then why did you leave them all?”
Evac went to argue, but fell short. “Why are you doing this to me?” His wings fell to his sides and he slumped to the ground. “Please... I'm dead... Just let me go.”
“Not until you admit you don't care about them...” Luna replied.
“I won't... I don't care what you do to me... I will never tell you I don't love her...” He growled and choked on his words once more. He didn't look up to see her smirk.
“Fine... What would you do to fix this?” Luna asked, standing again.
Evac's ears perked up. “But you said-”
“There is a way... You won't like it.”
“Just tell me!” He stood and waited desperately, eagerly. “If it saves them, her... Please.” She wouldn't be toying with him...
“There is but one way to change what has come of all this. You must never be born. In exchange for your memories, family, friends... Milky, you can change all of this. She, nor any of the others will mourn you and feel as they do now.”
“Never be born? Like... I won't exist?” Evac asked dumbfounded.
“Precisely. However such an alteration requires payment, a tribute. While your physical body will never exist and nopony would ever know your name your spirit will be trapped here forever. You're free to observe anything and everything however you will be alone for the rest of eternity. You'll never feel another pony's embrace, talk with anypony again or be a part of anypony's life.”
"Forever?" Stuck here forever? To be trapped in a world where he technically never existed... Forever. One of his greatest fears was being alone... Her words sunk deep and twisted his gut. The very emotions he'd tried to avoid would haunt him forever if he took her offer. Everypony else though... Would he really let them suffer when he had a chance to save them.
He growled and stomped a hoof, turning back to Milky once more who'd passed out on the bed during their conversation. She was suffering because of him... The sight broke his heart. “She'll be fine?”
“She'll be fine.” Luna answered.
Evac trotted over to the bedside and propped himself on it, looking down at the sleeping mare. At least she found peace in sleep... “I'm so sorry Milky... I love you so much.” He wanted to kiss her one last time, but the thought of passing through her reminded him it just wasn't possible.
He'd been so caught up in what he was feeling that he hadn't imagined anypony could ever feel worse than he did however Luna had showed him just how naive he had been. This was his chance to fix it.
Evac turned back to face the alicorn and whimpered. “O-okay.”
“Okay what?” Luna asked expectantly.
“D-d-do it... I can't leave them like this... I'd told Milky that I wanted her to forget me... It's probably best if they all forgot me now...” Evac choked and sucked in a sharp breath to calm himself.
“You do understand don't you...” Luna started. “You will never leave. I can't help you once it is done.”
“I don't care.” He growled. “I did this... Please... Just, I want to fix it. Fix it please.” He dropped back down and covered his face with his hooves.
He waited a moment, then felt something tap his shoulder. He uncovered himself and looked up to see the Princess smiling down at him. “I'm afraid that isn't possible.”
She had been mocking him? “B-but-”
“Because none of this is real Evac.” She continued. “None of it.”
Evac didn't know what to feel as he shot back to his hooves. “What? I-I don't understand. The guards, that colt... The stallion... Milky.”
“You're not dead Evac... This is a dream.”
Evac stammered a bit. “No... I saw it... I killed myself, I felt myself die.”
Luna's smile brightened. “You thought you did. I put you to sleep right before, and you dreamed the rest. I just needed to show you what you would be giving up. I needed to show you how you'd hurt them. I needed to know if you truly cared, and that you were just making a mistake. With or without your consent there is no such way to alter the past, at least... not to our knowledge. Luna shook her head and began laughing.
Evac turned back around quickly. Milky was still there, but different... She was sleeping soundly, her fur groomed, wings neatly preened, no discarded needle or ribbon around her leg. It filled him with relief. He turned back to the Princess. He didn't know what to say... He'd almost been angry she'd put him through that, but once she'd explained...
An overwhelming relief that sparked joy filled his heart. “Thank you... Thank you so much. I'm an idiot... If you wouldn't have...”
“There is no need.” Luna had regained her composure but was still smiling. “Just promise you will never be so reckless in the future. You shall die a natural death or not at all.”
“I promise! I do. I really do!” He jumped up a bit, then settled back in place, bowing to her as any pony, especially a guard should do. “I thank you, your majesty.”
“Hmph, such greetings were never offered when you were cross with your Princess.” Luna huffed.
Evac's cheeks lit up and he was flushed with embarrassment. He'd lost his composure, and for good reason. Still... Before he could apologize she stopped him.
“I jest I jest. Rise.” Luna giggled like a filly, unlike a princess but she didn't seem to care.
Evac stood back up and couldn't seem to keep still. “Everything is okay?” He didn't know whether he was asking or reassuring himself with the statement.
“All is as well as it was before.” Luna replied “Now... I've many other ponies to visit tonight and not the time to do so. I must apologize for leaving with such haste but this is goodbye for now.” She turned and began to trot away, fading into the light.
“Wait!” Evac called, and was surprised to see her actually stop.
Luna turned her head. “Yes my child?”
“T-thank you...” It was all he could think to say.
“You're welcome.”
“What now?” It was a dumb question, but he honestly didn't know.
“You wake up of course.” She giggled again, and slowly faded away.
Evac awoke with a jolt, and looked around the room. There was color in the world. He remembered his foreleg and looked down. No blood. There wasn't even a knife on the table, and the parchment that rest there was blank. Was this real? A quick glance at the clock revealed it was still very late at night.
Evac ran a hoof through his mane and over an ear to make sure he was really there, then bit his hoof. He yelped and chuckled as he felt the pain. He was definetly there. He remembered Milky and practically lept from his seat to the door of the office, running down the hall and into their room where she lay.
He couldn't help it. In one motion he pounced atop her shaking the bed and enticing a yelp from the startled mare. He wrapped his forelegs around her and covered her with his wings, drawing her as close as he could.
“E-Evac what's going on?” Milky finally managed through he constricted breathing.
“Nothing's going on.” Evac replied, pulling just far enough to look into her eyes... Those big, beautiful, sleepy eyes. “I just... I don't know. I...” What could he tell her? “I just really wanted a hug.” He smiled sheepishly as the mare deadpanned.
However the look didn't last as she smiled up at him. This was unusual. “Well...” She rubbed her eyes a bit then wrapped them gently around him. “Next time just ask okay? I'd be more than happy to mmph!” Her answer cut short with his muzzle pressed to hers as he brought her closer again, kissing her passionetly. She couldn't deny the little rush it gave her and returned the gesture, however unexpected it was.
After what seemed like an eternity Evac broke away and fell beside her, keeping one wing draped over her covered form. “I'll ask next time, I promise.” He blushed and smiled. How good it felt to hold her. Something he'd taken for granted. Not anymore.
“Evac... Are you all right?” Milky murmured.
“I'm more than all right.” Evac replied, running a hoof through her mane and stared deep into her glimmering ruby eyes. “I love you.” The words had escaped his muzzle before he even realized what he'd said. He didn't have long to contemplate the gesture as it was her turn to pounce him.
All at once they were pressed together again, Milky had kissed him out of joy and shock. She'd waited two years to hear him say that and she couldn't be happier to hear them now. Finaly she pulled away with a smile that was near comical. “I love you too.”
Evac blushed and looked down, avoiding her gaze. “I'm sorry... I've felt that way for a while now. I'm sure you know. I've just been so-” A soft hoof was pressed against his muzzle, and was used to raise him back to eye level with the mare.
“Shhhhh... It's fine. It's always been fine. At the end of the night they're just words. The important part is... I know how you feel.” She gave him another peck before nuzzling the side of his neck. “I haven't seen you this happy in a while.” She giggled. “Did you have a good dream?”
“No.” He shook his head slightly, relaxing at the feel of her warm breath on his shoulder. “Just finally decided to count my blessings is all.”
“Mmm... Good.” Milky cooed, curling up against him, under his wing and yawning cutely. “Goodnight Evac."
Evac felt giddy inside, but her sleepiness was contagious and so was the yawn. “Goodnight Milky.”
However one last thing caught his eye, a glimmer outside the window in the night sky that served as a reminder of the Princess who'd saved him. “Goodnight Princess...” He whispered. “And thanks again.”
