Well this is awkward even for me (Warning - Fourth Wall Breaking)
Discord's POV
I was always told by those prissy princesses that I would eventually find somepony to love and make me change my ways. I told them to drop dead and leave me alone. They told me to stuff it and then they turned me to stone, hilarious. Fast forward a thousand years later and I come across her precious student and her obnoxious, if not annoying friends.
If any of you bronies and non bronies saw my debut then you already know what I did to each one and how I almost beat them and yada yada, friendship and harmony yay... ugh!
What's that. You want a build-up to what's gonna happen. Well let me paint a picture for you. Today I woke up, had some chocolate milk with cookies. I tortured Celestia and Luna for about three hours, got bored and kicked a pony down the stairs. Oh and I turned Celestia mane pink for a reason of my own.
Happy now? Good!
Anyway, let's just skip to a few days after I was freed and forced to reform. I was torturing some farm animals on the outskirts of Ponyville. Now before any of you say what will happen when Fluttershy finds out let me tell you now that one, I'm a convincing liar and b, I'm on the other side of Ponyville and away from her cottage. Oh yeah who's the god of thinking, this guy! Anyway as I was dealing with the animals and laughing like a maniac I saw Rainbow Dash fly towards my direction.
Now I assumed she was just gonna try out her moves like the Sonic Boomrain. Or was It Rainbomb? Bombrain? Train? Sane? Anyway she was gonna try that and didn't want to destroy the town, atleast that's what I thought. Instead what happened next was she descended near me rather odd so to speak. Her face didn't show bravado hell it didn't even show anger considering the last few times we met. What really caught my attention was the rather pink circles on her cheeks and she looked like she ran a race before coming here because she was sweating all over.
"Hi Rainbow Dash, lovely weather huh?" I said in a nonchalant way. I wanted to see her reaction to me not caring about her being there. Obviously it didn't work as she stood still for awhile but I continued to play on it. "I mean just look at the sky and all the small little clouds just passing by. It's rather dreadful to me but whatever as long as I'm not in stone it's no skin off my bone."
"I think you mean no skin of my bones..." She told me while trying to shake the nervousness out of herself.
I gave a sly grin and pulled a dog bone out. "Not even close my dear."
She just chuckled slightly, her eyes avoiding me as I looked down at her.
I looked at her for atleast a minute before I broke the annoying silence of pony breathing that was filling my ears at the moment. "Look Rainbow I know that you're rather busy so I'll just be on my way."
Before I could snap my fingers and do the disappearing act that all of you love she finally spoke up. Well it was her clearing her throat but hell I'll take that over hearing her breathing. I raised my ear close to her face and waited to see what she'll say. Of course I wasn't alone afterall I always have my Discord clones to listen in on me listening in and they don't look bad by comparison.
So we waited for another minute of 'I' and 'Uhs' and let me tell you it was annoying. And to any brony or pegasister out there who says this is unlike Rainbow and she's OOC well let me tell you. I personally agree to that but I'm telling the story so pipe down and enjoy it would you. Grab some popcorn and soda and just watch as Rainbow becomes -20% Cooler.
Anyway again... she cleared her throat for the third time and finally without more annoying sounds she spoke up for real. My clones leaned in more and so did I as she said...
"I love you, Discord."
My clones poofed out and I fell backwards laughing. My eyes were closed but I could tell she wasn't too happy about my reaction. I teleported off the ground and next to her, my arm around her neck. "You must be joking Rainbow Dash I mean remember that I hypnotized you, took your wings and kicked you and made you lazy. You must be confusing me for another Lord of Chaos."
She pushed me away and stood her ground, Ironically me being that close to her caused her to get a wingboner which made her now pink cheeks turn burning red. I was trying to hold my laugh in but hell that was tough.
"I do love you and I know it's you because you're the only one that looks like you around here." She said. She was definitely trying to keep herself from going overboard but I could care less as this was just too funny. "Can you atleast be serious about this, I want to explain why I love you?"
"Fine Rainbow -" I conjured up some popcorn and milk, chocolate of course and sat down on the ground "- I'm listening but make it quick cause I have an appointment with Granny Smith and I hate to miss her fall."
"Well it began after we had sealed you up in stone -"
Now before I let her continue let me tell you readers out there something. Being turned to stone even for weeks is not the greatest thing out there. My body is still cracking from the years of staying still! And now we return to Rainbow's confession.
"- One night I couldn't sleep. It was odd considering I sleep without issue in the past but everytime I laid my head on the pillow... You're voice filled my head and all I can think about is laying next to you and other things..."
Well she didn't confess much in my opinion but I stared wide eyes. I hadn't even touched any of my food and somehow I was blushing! Me of all ponies! I wanted to say something but I was too freaked out to say anything and I swore I heard Celestia and Luna chuckling in the distance.
If you're wondering why I keep distracting the story then obviously you don't know me so let me introduce myself. I'm Discord spirit of chaos and disharmony and all time favorite troll. I guess to be fair... yuck I'll keep talking about what happened after our awkward talk.
Now where was I? Oh yes this part; I got off the ground and looked at her funny. To be honest it frightened me to even have to do this and now thinking back I swear I'll kill those two princesses for putting me in this situation. Without thinking much I disappeared from her sight and ran off to Fluttershy's to tell her the little moment but I swore before I trailed off I heard her say something to me. I can't remember but she seemed happy about it.
Oh well I'm sure it's nothing.
Apparently the author was feeling lazy this month/ Discord seeks help part 1
Well after that nightmare of a day I decided to visit the fandom favorite and mine, Princess Luna about Rainbow Dash. I mean come on, this registered old Moonbutt's attention since... since... since... that time when... well it's better than talking to Celestia about it that's for sure.
I wanted to just pop in my usual fashion but the last time I did that my head was in my ass for a week so now I have to walk in casually like a good pony. I walked through guards after guards after ugly guards after guards before I found her room. As usual she was asleep and what's even more funny is that she was drooling... wait what kind of dream is she dreaming. Nevermind it wasn't important nor did I want her wrath on me. So I did the only think I could do and let's be honest most of you dream of this idea.
"Wakey wakey Luna!" I chimed as I snapped my fingers, magically dropping a bucket of water onto her.
Luna woke up with a gasp and instantly darted to her hooves with her horn glowing as bright as her sister's horn. She looked around for a few seconds before noticing me as I waved with a lollipop in my hands.
Now we zoom out of the castle to see her blasting me out of the window and over to the horizon. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOOO!" I scream as I...
Wait a minute, what kind of script is this?! Isn't this suppose to be a serious grimdark? Alright Mr. Author, get this through your head and make sure it stays there. I, Discord will not be forced to do a bad comedy story now come back to me when you're serious. I'll be in my trailer if you need me!
