Heartstruck

    “C-can I see h-her?” I asked the medical stallion.

    “Yes,” he replied, “you can be with her as long as you want, and you can let us know at the desk if you want us to store the body for a burial or cremate her and send you her ashes.

    Every time even the thought of my mom dead stung like dry ice being dropped in my lungs. As I walked in, I couldn’t say anything.

    My late mom was laying on a soft hospital bed, her eyes closed. Her chest had stitches across her breast and her coat was stained with blood. I rested a hoof on the edge of the bed, and then rested my head atop it. My face was wet with tears, but I had stopped crying. I needed to be strong for my mom, even though she wasn’t here anymore.

    “I-im so sorry mom. I should’ve been there last night. I didn’t even get to say goodbye, but now… I guess this is goodbye forever. I hope you’re in a better place,” I whispered the last bit, whimpering a bit before closing my eyes and giving her a soft hug. “Thank you for always being there.”

    I felt Vinyl’s hoof run down my back, rubbing it gently. I sat back up and rested my head down on her shoulder. I stared at my mom for another few seconds before a different stallion came in the room.

    “Miss Rain Shade?” He asked.

    “Y-yes?” I responded. My voice was shaky and ragged from crying.

    “We have the blood test results ready. This may sound weird, but has your mother had any extensive sexual activity over a long period of time? Maybe with your father perhaps?” He set a clipboard down and skimmed over something on the paper as he spoke.

    “I never knew my dad, but my mom… she used to be a prostitute,” as discriminating as the fact was, I had to reveal it.

    He seemed to brush it off as if it was a normal thing in his everyday life. “That makes sense. The diagnosis is, she had Syphilis, a very deadly disease that can stay latent for years before quickly eating away at her internal organs, which caused a heart attack. Sadly, her death was inevitable, as the disease is fast and strong, and Equestria medical labs still haven't found a cure yet. It is resistant to stronger antibiotics, which means the cure would have to be ordered from the labs. There was truly nothing we could do, I’m so sorry,” he explained.

    I tried not to cry with every word he said. My mom had died while protecting, while supporting me. She went to extreme lengths to supply her innocent little filly with food and a place to stay. I felt unworthy of my life now. She had a happy life, a ‘wonderful little filly’ as she would say, and now it was gone… because of me.

    I hugged Vinyl tightly, sobbing into her breast. Soon we left. I asked for them to amputate her hooves to cremate them, but to leave the rest of the body for burial. We left in the warm summer breeze. It was almost comforting… almost. We made it to my house again and went in. I wanted to search my mom’s room, but even in her absence, it felt wrong to invade her private belongings. I guess my heart was having a hard time coping.

    I layed on my bed and gathered my stuff. I grabbed my guitar, and my drawing equipment and stuffed them in a large velvet bag. I grabbed all my mementos from my foal hood. I had a small grey plush doll that I used to cuddle in bed. My mom dubbed him Mister Fluffy, because his hair was scraggly and his coat was really soft. I had a signed copy of my favorite DJ Pon3 album. Then, there was a small anklet she had bought me… it was a surprise late birthday present. It was plated with fine silver, bearing carefully engraved abstract and floral designs that on either side of a radiant emerald that wove together and spelt my name.

    ‘Be strong’ I kept telling myself. ‘Be strong’.

    Silently, I grabbed a few other things of less importance and then Vinyl and I left. She figured that I shouldn’t have to live alone during a time of such shock and despondency, so she offered to house me for a while. The days later the apartment branch would notify me how long I had to remove any property from the premises before exemption.

    Soon, we stepped out of the elevator into Vinyl’s room. I didn't know what to do, so I layed down on one of the chairs on the balcony and looked out at the barely-visible stars. I was resting on my back, my forehooves placed gently on my chest. I closed my eyes, trying to think and take in everything that just happened. I felt a hoof and a body lean against me. I opened my left eye to see Vinyl leaned against me, a hoof wrapped around my stomach. She had a sullen expression on her face, but she seemed determined to be comforting.

    “Thanks,” I said appreciating the hug. Even my voice sounded dead.

    Then something cruel clicked in my head. One mare for another… My mom, for Vinyl. My mind immediately cursed at Celestia before I thought further. Vinyl had stuck to her promise of dropping by my house, even when she is a fairly huge Celebrity, and probably could’ve found something better to do. She took me to dinner, she let me stay at her home, and she put up with my mindless blubbering. I questioned how rational she was being as a friend, but then another possibility crossed my mind. What if.. What if Vinyl liked me? What if she had feelings for me beyond friendship? Did I? Would I be able to return the feelings of lust? I pondered this.

    Vinyl had been there, even if it was only over the course of two days, but she was there. She complimented me on my guitar, she loved my drawings, and she had been there to comfort me in my loss. I could definitely return the feelings.

    I realized something in my heart. something that was never there, a kind of crack, if you will. There were two cracks in my heart, and my mom filled one, being the best mom anypony could ask for, and nopony filled the other. Until now. My heart realized, I loved Vinyl. I had loved her music and thought she was a beautiful mare before, and I may have had fantasies… but I knew none of them would ever come true. I was living inside one of my fantasies, one where I loved Vinyl, for truly, who she was, not just a raving show-mare. She was no longer DJ Pon3 in my mind, she was Vinyl Scratch, and I could never think of her differently again.

    “V-vinyl…” I stuttered. “I…” I didn’t think I could finish the sentence. “Vinyl I like you…” I blushed and immediately wanted to explode out of embarrassment.

    “I like you too Shade…” she cooed. Her saying my name was like the most wondrous song I had ever never heard, and now I had.

    “I mean… I t-think I… Vinyl, I love you,” I whispered. I blushed harder than I ever had before. I wanted to jump out the window to escape embarrassment as she looked me directly in the eyes. I think hours passed, but I couldn’t tell.

    I waited for the already belated response as I mentally curled up and died. Oh dear Celestia had I just said that to Vinyl Scratch?

    My ears flopped down on my head as seen her staring at me, straight faced. I closed my eyes and willed for everything to disappear, but the only feelings I got were despair and a slight pressure on my lips, as if something were against them. My mind lagged as i processed the feeling, realizing i should see what the origin of the push was.

    I threw my eyes open to see the closed irises of Vinyl, her muzzle pressed against mine. Oh my Celestia! she was kissing me?!

    My mind panicked. I didn’t know what to do. It had been so long since I had kissed Lightning Dust, and I was going into panic mode. I let her explore my lips with hers, the soft flesh of the DJ radiating heat. I had butterflies in my stomach. She pulled her head back and I gawked at her garnet eyes. I suddenly realized my face was red hot, probably from blushing.

    “I…” I stammered. I had no words, and was in an incredible trance of shock.

    “I love you too…,” she answered.

    I threw my hooves around her, giving her a tight hug. I was now in a relationship with Vinyl freaking Scratch! Was that what it was? I didn’t know. All I knew was I was happier than I had been for a really long time.

    I didn’t want to let go of her, the sweet smell of her coat filling my nostrils, but it might be awkward if I didn’t. I reluctantly let her go from the embrace.

    The night was approaching and my mom would be home soon. Vinyl and I noticed this, and tried to get another ten minutes of cuddling on the large comfortable resting chair. before  I realized that soon she would have to go back to Las Pegasus to finish her tour, and I couldn’t go with her. My heart was scared of that.

    I was so joyous and fearful at the same time I had almost forgot about my mom. She still felt heavy in my heart, but I held on to something that could fill me with enough happiness to not fall under a drab blanket of depression. I now had something new to hold on to, something I would do anything for… something I loved, and I was hugging her right this moment. I loosened my grip on her and blushed madly. her hooves wrapped around my body to pull me close so we could cuddle.

    She kissed me lightly again before we stared into each other's majestic irises, smiling warmly. Life melted away as the stars watched over us with Luna’s grace, protecting us from danger. My vision went to tunnel as everything but the mare I wanted to be with was all I could see, and I loved it.

    We lay there, our hooves together, our tails entwined, my head resting on her chest. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the heat radiating off of her coat.  I felt her hoof running back and forth up and down my body, smoothing, then ruffling my coat. It was soothing and comforting, and I didn’t ever want her to stop. My tears had dried and crusted on my cheeks, but I didn't care. I was happy. Truly happy. It seemed dark that this could take away all of the pain of my loss, but I could feel true love, and it was warding off my negative feelings.

    Wrapped in a bliss, my eyelids became heavy, the weight of a full force emotional hurricane weathering my ability to stay conscious. Slowly, I fell asleep in Vinyl’s hooves, my cute snore filling the air.

    ///***\\

    I awoke in the soft bed located in Vinyl’s room, still able to feel her sleeping physique leaning against me. I could still hear her heavy breathing, indicating slumber. I shifted in bed so I could look at her. She was beautiful. Her slightly messy mane, her cute little sleep-smile. I curled up and nuzzled her chest, blushing even though I knew she couldn’t tell I was there. She was so warm…

    I lay there, snuggled up to her until about an hour afterwards when she woke up. She seen me and immediately a grin burst upon her face. She pulled me in for a long kiss, holding my body close. I had little to no experience in kissing, so I tried my best to imitate what Vinyl was doing. Her lips curled around mine as we swapped saliva.

    Soon we parted and she rested her face back down on the pillow. Almost her whole face had turned a deep shade of red from her blushing. I brushed a strand of stray cerulean blue mane out of her lovely face.

    “You have no idea how adorable you look right now,” I told her.

    “I can’t even find words for how cute you are,” she countered. I smiled and blushed. We stayed in bed, cooing and cuddling with each other until we both knew it was clear though noon. I told her that reluctantly, I needed to get started on the planning of my moms funeral. It was a sad remorseful occupation to have to leave a jovial one for.

    I trotted into the living room and sat down on the couch. Vinyl telekinetically floated up a few pieces of paper and a pen and smiled. She wanted to help, I could tell, but she knew it would be hard to recover if it brought us both down, so she tried to stay out of my train of thought.

    It was difficult to think of any people to invite to the Funeral, but Molto and his father were definitely on the list. I would need to confirm if I was going to be loud to bury her on their property, as I wanted to let her final resting place be the spot she never got to experience during her lifetime, but wanted it so very much. I would bury her in the valley, and let her ashes be blown in the wind. She deserved to remain a part of the artwork of hills and trees that coated the land of her dreams.