Boyfriend Culture

by Regina Wright

Rating: teen
Tags: Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Drama, Alternate Universe, Romance, Original Character, Equestria Girls, Sex, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 2429

Incognito is the new boy at Canterlot High with the desire to become the perfect boyfriend. Unfortunately for him, he's seen as the eight 'girlfriend' of a group of mysterious girls.

(Equestria Girls Verse)

Incognito is the new boy at Canterlot High with the desire to become the perfect boyfriend. In reality, he's nothing more than a serial dater. Breaking hearts left and right as he leaps relationship after relationship as a emotional parasite.

While trying to establish himself in with a group of girls, it takes him a while to realize that they don't exactly take him seriously.

And slowly, so does the rest of the school. Freaks stick together after all.

Published 2015-03-09 03:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-09 03:00:02 UTC

And The Lovely Mountain Of Sorry

“I'm sorry, I can't be with you any more.”

These cherished words haunt him and all of their variations.

“I can't be with you, I'm sorry.” “We just can't.” “I didn't think that it would end like this.”

And so does the scene where it took place the very first time.

Winter.

The sky is a rosy red as the evening sun sets and gray clouds drift down the skyline and the snowed streets below.

Late.

The school day comes to close as the bell rings and students escape into the world of a long awaited three-day weekend. On such a Friday, it isn't a surprise that he walks alone through the halls. Up the second floor stairs and three classrooms on his left, the boy struts forward with a smile tugging at his lips.

It is him, Incognito, a happy boy with a happy girlfriend.

And like always, he arrives at her classroom and knocks their secret code of three knocks and a kick to the door. He awaits to hear the sound of a book falling to the floor and the startled sound of his girlfriend's voice as she wakes up. This was a typical routine for him, ah for them. His face flushes, his freckles disappear as he open his mouth to correct himself. Then remembers he didn't say anything out loud and there wasn't anyone around to tease him for being so sappy.

Them. Two years have gone by and his heart still skips a beat when he thinks of her, of them. Her long purple hair that smells of ink and paper like an fresh book on library shelves. Her adorable crooked smiles from when she is working hard on problem she couldn't explain how found the solution.

'I'm not trying to get extra credit, Cog! I just think it's important that I don't miss a step.' No one could ever forget her voice, sounding so much like the teacher with her lecturing tone.

His girlfriend was the shortest girl in the class and he was the tallest, peering down on everyone but her. Incognito remembers the first time they hugged. She had just learned she scored the highest on the national exam for their grade range and she was so happy, squealing as she leaped into his arms. They swung together for that perfect moment as he felt her heart beat into his. Together, they fit like a pair of hands clasped together and still, he couldn't believe he got such a girlfriend all to himself.

As he waits against the door, his grip tightens on the present for their anniversary, a pair of charms from that book series she adores. So caught up in his thoughts, he didn't notice the sound of shoes sprinting across the tiles before he felt a finger between his shoulder blades. Incognito yelps, dropping the present as he falls forward and rolls on the floor to get an eye on his attacker. Who would- His eyes fall onto the girl with a guilty look as she tries to smile, the light not quite reaching her eyes. His girlfriend. He feels ashamed. How could he not recognize her soft fingers?

Scrambling onto his feet, he turn his head a way as he tries to look cool. Incognito darts for the present he dropped then leans against the wall with a slightly higher than usual, “Hey.”

“Hey.” She replies, eyes turning to the floor as she rocks back on her heels. “I didn't mean to scare you. I wanted to-” Her eyes rise to his face but avoids his eyes. Incognito swallows, waiting for her next words as he feels the walls close in. “I don't know what I meant to. This is really hard for me.”

“Sorry,” His girlfriend grabs at her skirt and forces herself to be still. It couldn't be. Was she- “I'm so sorry I waited so long to tell you.”

“Why are you saying sorry? It's not that much of a big deal. Being so tall, I hardly felt a thing.” He says, dragging a free hand through his blond hair. It is getting a bit too long but his girlfriend likes to braid it when they were done with their study sessions. Practicing her feminine charms, she said sounding like a late night commercial on heath and beauty.

“Are you talking about the project due last week because I didn't mind that you did all yourself without telling me? Less work for me, you know.” Incognito tries to think of a distraction and remembers what has on him. “Instead of feeling sorry, how about you'll be happy for me instead?” His fingers brush over the shiny packaging one more time and he extend his hand. “Happy-”

“I'm sorry, I can't be with you any more.” She ducks her head, hiding the face balling up in misery as tears dripped down her chin under her bangs. “I'm so sorry.”

His heart drops onto the floor, spilling out as his knees quake and he feels tears forming at the corner of his eyes. The thought of not being able to see her, to hold her or to even talk to her like this is unbearable. He shifts on his two feet as if getting ready to fight this thing that forcing his girlfriend to say such things to him.

“Why?” He says but really meaning, 'Where is the monster that I can beat back and blue to win back your love? I'd do anything to make it all better.'

“I'm transferring to another school. I... I... didn't think that I would get in. I know that I'm smart, that's what all the teachers told me over and over, but I didn't think I could get in. It's Canterlot Academy. You don't just get in!” Her voice trembles as she starts stuttering in her excitement. “This is life-changing, I hope that you will understand. I can't.” She sucks in a ragged breath. “Be here with you. I'm leaving this weekend.”

Incognito sighs, quietly hitting himself with his open palm. His girlfriend could be so dramatic sometimes and here he was thinking the worse. He taps on his knees to stop the shaking and he moves forward, scooping his girlfriend into his arms.

“There's nothing to be sorry for.” He whispers into her hair as he feels her grab at his shirt to pull him closer. “We can still make it work. Canterlot Academy isn't that far away and we could still see each other on the weekends and holidays. And there's nothing wrong with being pen pals.” He hears her take in a shuddering breath as if she was about to go off on one of her tirades.

“I mean, Moondancer writes to Lyra often and Lyra was only here for a week.”

“I guess not.” She nods, wiping her little tears on her sleeves. “But we'll be on two different levels. The education curriculum in Canterlot Academy is mountains beyond our little grade school. What if one day, we'll send letters to each other and we can't understand what the other means? Do you know how terrifying that is to us? To me?”

“Don't worry about that. We'll make it work. We've been together so long that Canterlot Academy won't be able to divide us.” Unless there was another boy that could steal her attention... Incognito burns with indignation as he imagines some pretty boy with his fancy fancy-ness stealing his sweet girlfriend away. He'll have to take up some sort of martial arts to deal with this problem in the future.

“Are you sure?” She pushes from him, her face still a frown. Incognito shakes his head and pats her the top of her head. She squeaks as she always does. Her hands grabbing at his arm to keep him from ruffling her hair into a fuzzy storm.

“Yeah.” He grins and present her his gift. “Happy Anniversary.”

“You... You remembered! Why would you remember something so unimportant?”

Incognito snorts. “How could I forget the anniversary of the day you accepted my feelings?” He leans forward and gives his girlfriend a small peck on the forehead. “What kind of boyfriend would I be?”

And finally, his girlfriend is smiling again.

His girlfriend giggles as she starts off down the hallway before turning back to look at him. “I'm sure you'll make some girl happy.” Her voice alight with mischief but he can't help himself and grabs at his shirt.

What?

“Cog, if you weren't like family to me, I'd definitely want to be your girlfriend.”

It can't be.

“But you are my girlfriend.”

Why does it feel like his heart is snapping in two?

“But I'm not your girlfriend. I'd be terrible at it. Could you really imagine me holding hands with a boy?” She clarifies before waving and turning the corner. “Let's go! My big brother will leave us again if don't show up in the lobby. He's mean like that, you know.”

Incognito falls to his knees and spreads out everywhere.

The sound of his voice rattles the windows, makes the sun hesitate and makes the entire sky fall. But all of that, his tears and his wailing can not compare to the sound of his first love ending this very day.

“I'm sorry but I can't be with you any more, Radiant.”

Incognito talks into his cell phone, ignoring the judgmental stares that the secretary of his new school keeps on flinging his way. Who does she thinks she is? Looking down at him for not wanting to string a girl along? It's obvious that Canterlot High doesn't teach manners to their staff. “Just let me say it outright. I think we should break up.”

Radiant sobs loudly on the phone, causing him to pull it away from his ear.

“But I need you here with me! How could you say that we should break up? We could make it work!”

“That's what everyone says about long-distance relationships.” He snorts, imagining of what response she'd say in person. Lovely big-breasted Radiant and her gooey sense of loyalty.

“I don't want to be a everyone, I want to be an every only.” Incognito mutters before realizing Radiant wouldn't be fond of that kind of statement. She wasn't her sister who enjoys hand-biting humor. He speaks louder into the phone.“You know I'm not doing it on purpose. It's my father.”

And that was the truth. It was his father being a over-bearing idiot sticking his beady nose where it didn't belong. How was he supposed to know that was the daughter of a Gryphonia official? He'd like to believe she enjoyed her view of an All-Equestrian Boy while their fathers were filing paperwork in the room next door...

Needless to say, his father's form of punishment was to drop him in the middle of nowhere to get all that 'playing around nonsense' out of his system. Hypocritical asshole isn't a strong enough word to describe his father but maybe he'll learn something new and interesting from these townies.

“He thinks that I shouldn't be distracted from my peers at boarding school. All it takes is one pregnancy scare and there goes our reputation. I must think of my future and the great family name. And it's not like your sister liked me hanging around you. She'll be so delighted to have me gone.”

“But I need you here with me. Somebody sent me this text, saying that you were their boyfriend and-.”

Incognito sighs. “Do you think so little of me that you'll let some random spam text sour our relationship? I'm not going to be in this little Ponyville forever.”

“She had pictures.”

“Photoshop. The internet. We're just taking a little break for a couple of months. If you're going to act so paranoid over a text, I think we need to see different people. Maybe I'm not the right person for you? Maybe you're not the right person for me? We need this distance to work out our feelings. If we honestly felt something for each other, I think would be strong enough to last a few months apart.”

“Is it really okay? Is it? If you want, we could still see each other-”

“Yeah,” He says softly. “It's okay. Don't make it any harder on you than it has to be. I love you.”

“I love you too. I'll miss you.”

Incognito hangs up and dials another number.

He places his phone on the seat next to his, turning to the red book resting open on his lap. Written below are a set of names and numbers already crossed out and with the flip of his pen, focuses on the name and number of Radiant Light. He crosses it out, writing right next to it, 'Definitely No.' He's been making good progress for the last fifteen minutes going down his active rosters of female friends.

The phone picks up and he hears a familiar voice on speaker phone.

“Splendent Night?” He says, bringing the phone near. “I'm sorry but we can't be together any more. Just let me be honest. I think we should break before things get messy. It wouldn't be fair to be stringing this relationship along while I'm in another school."

"We could-" Splendent is silent on the other line. "I don't like this. I'm not going to be happy without you and you're not going to be happy without me. At least, Radiant will be happy about this. I know how your father is so I'm not even going to bother putting up a fight. You'll call sometimes, right?"

"Depends. Can I stay with you when my father finally kicks me out of the house?"

"I'll pay for your funeral. You'll have four walls and a bed to rest in. However, I wouldn't put it pass Radiant not to bee-line for wherever you are to try and make it work again."

Incognito doesn't miss a step.

"You shouldn't tell your sister about my leaving. You know how possessive Radiant is. It was hard enough breaking things off with her the first time. I don't think I could be any clearer. The poor thing still thinks we're dating even after-”

Author's Note

Technically a prologue but not really.

Huzzah, my first genuine romance fic.

It is so anime that it hurts. But I like to think it has it's charm.

Three guesses who his girlfriend was... Do I have any takes? I'll give you a clue.:moustache: