Do Whatever You Like!

by Saint Henry The Pig

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Spike, Random, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 3575

Spike buys Twilight a Hot Tub

Seeing that Twiight needs to relax from her duties as a Princess, Spike decides to buy her a Hot Tub though he should have not bought it from a cloaked salesman.
(Just for Fun)

Published 2015-03-13 03:40:03 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-25 19:53:52 UTC

Nice Choice

Already weeks into her Princess status, Twilight is stressed out from all the paperwork she has to fill out writing her signature on every piece of paper that comes to her. She had bags under her eyes from not sleeping and just plain tired of the paperwork, yes she herself did large amounts of work but they where what she wanted to do not what others wanted of her. Common sense heeds her to skims through the papers not wanting to accidently sign off on a ridiculous law or some crazy shipment, of course skimming them would waste more time but she had to make certain. Twilight was just getting though another batch of paperwork when out of the blue a slender pony with a fuzzy beard and a grey mail uniform came though the door carrying with him two large piles of menacing paper.,

        "Hello princess, I just here to drop off these piles of paperwork that all have your name on them. Colt, oh, colt never have I seen so much paperwork needing to be filled out", said the stallion who noticed the princess being some what stress out and from what he said she wasn't happy. "Anyhoo I'll be on my way princess. Bye" the stallion was already out the door much to Twilights surprise on his speed. Twilights sighed she knew being a princess would come with many new responsibilities but she never knew that signing and reading a bunch of papers would so stressful. She levitated the pile up to her desk and continued on with her signing.

Unknown to her she was being watched by her faithful number one assistant Spike who from afar was simply reading one of his comic books, he hasn't seen Twilight this stressed out since that whole future Twilight thing in which she thought a disaster was going to happen on Tuesday and thats just one example. He also has not seen her go to bed in the last couple of days she must be doing  all nighters. "How much paperwork has she gotten and when will it end, she's the princess of Friendship not the princess of everyponies troubles...that aren't friendship related", Spike thought to himself. "There must be something that I her number-one assistant can do for her...Maybe we can split the work...but I don't know Twilight's signature...maybe I can give her a message, a nice back rub might relive the stress after all it works on Rarity. I am such a good assistant" A sly grin plastered on his face. He sat up from the crystal floor and put his comic away before he strode to Twilight but with all the paperwork on her desk Twilight could not see the scales on spikes head. Spike waited a few minutes for Twilight to notice he was there. Twilight was half way through this batch of paper when she finally saw spike though only his head sense the paperwork cover the rest of him. Startled at first to see Spike there she quickly smile at him. "Oh, hey spike finished reading your comic", again Twilight focused on her paperwork signing and then putting it way in a neat pie before she grabbed another sheet, skimmed it, and hen signing it before doing the cycle again.

        "Umm, no but I see how stressed you are so as your number one assistant I wanted to alleviate you from your stress with a nice massage", Spike said lifting both his hands up wiggling his claws making Twilight stop what she was doing and smile at him once again surprised at his proposal.

"That's very sweet of you Spike but I need to get this work done somepony has to do this because noponyelse will, one of the many responsibilities a princess has" Twilights pointed to her crown and she spread her wings. "Thanks for wanting to help out spike but I'm fine no need to worry, go back and finish your comic I don't want to keep you from finishing it", Twilight said with a shy smile.

"I don't know Twilight you seem very stressed and you haven't slept in days", Spike implored Twilight to accept his massage to which Twilight sighed and spoke again.

"Really spike, I'm okay, I'm not stressed just tired from this paperwork", Twilight was just about to get back to hers signing but notice that spike was still standing there looking unconvinced at Twilight.

"No, Twilight you are stressed out and you need a break from all this princess work", Spike pushed forward knowing full well that Twilight needed a break.

"SPIKE! I'm serious I don't feel stressed, I don't need a break, and I most certainly do not need a message!" Twilight yelled she wasn't stressed out obviously but Twilight realized that she had yelled louder then she had thought and that she had slammed both her hooves on the desk causing her papers to shake. She signed and went back to work.

Spike caught off guard by Twilights sudden outburst but he quickly knew it was only from her stress so he left the library and the castle. Standing outside the castle he had a clear view of Ponyville and he came up with an idea. Twilights stress is needing more then a simple massage she needs something that will make her feel relaxed. he headed out to Ponyville which was a bit farther then usual but maybe something or somepony could help.

Spike contemplated for a while walking through the dirt paths of Ponyville waving at anypony who called out his name. Who could help me relieve Twilight of her stress. He came to a bench and sat down tapping is pointing claw on his cheek thinking who could help. He thought of Zecora but then she remembered that she went out to a herb convention or something like that and he didn't know how long she will be gone for. He ponder on who could help him, he thought of the spa but Twilight would not just willingly go to the spa. Spike needed something that could be at the castle. He thought that the gang could help then decided against it. Applejack was much too busy with the applebuck season coming, Rarity was busy making a very rare and unique fashion for this new singer named Lady NaNa, Rainbow dash was not an option, and neither was Pinkie. "So who can help me, help Twilight with her stress..." His answer would come to him eventually and by eventually we mean now as a poster guided by the wind slapped and stuck itself to Spike's face but the suddenness of this situation frightened Spike who did not know what hit him and he began to shriek with panic. "Ahhhhhhhh! Something's got my face, help it could be sucking my blood. Ahhhhhh! I don't want to look like a raisin", Spike ran around in a circle his arms stretched out in front of him, his face covered with the poster showing indentations of his mouth, eyes and nose. Before long he tripped over a pebble and rolled away from the scene he had created leaving a crowd of confused ponies looking as he rolled away like a wheel on a carriage.

He has been rolling for minutes before he finally stopped himself with a tree, his back turned to the tree as a few acorns fell on his head bouncing right off him. "I bet I would see stars when take his thing off", Spike said scrambling to his feet and finally using his arms to take the unknown thing from his face. He lost his bet for he saw birds instead of stars, shaking his head to rid himself of the birds who were actually real birds just messing with him as they flew off. "Very funny", He had a face of annoyance as he looked down on the poster that stuck to him.

Are you feeling stressed out

To much on your plate for you to handle

Not enough babes to keep you company or are you just plainly looking for a way to party

Then look no farther and come on down to Jacuzzi's Hot Tub Emporium

Where you'll find the best Hot Tubs this side of Equestria

The poster had an image of a cartoony Hot Tub with a equally cartonny stallion in it who was surrounded by mares all having a good time in the water of the Hot Tub who was winking at Spike, there was a speech bubble coming from the Tub saying best party ever.  Below that there was a small map of Ponyville with a star where the store would be at as well as an address. What caught the eye of Spike was the are you felling stresses out part. Now he may be crazy but a Hot Tub would be awesome not only that but I would also help Twilight. A huge grin stretched across his face. To the Emporium!

What? No Catch

*Ba-ding*

       Spike found the Emporium and eagerly steped inside. The dorr had one of those bells that rang everytime somepony entered or left.  What was strange is that nopony came to welcome him, usually the bell meant that a employee was meant to greet a customer. "They must have not heard it. Maybe if I ring the bell again they will come this time", Spike thought to himself. He opened the door to hear the bell ring. Nopony came again. This time spike closed the door so the bell rang again. Again nopony came. Spike opened the door, closed the door, opened the door, each time the bell rang. He looked around the store again only to see a bunch of hot tubs of varies shapes and sizes. He looked next to him and saw a small filly standing inches from him, Spike simply blinked and stared for a few seconds before he turned his attention to the door. Spike opened the door and closed it again before it hit him. "Wait a minute", Spike looked back to the colt who had a stern, annoyed look to him. The filly was a greyish green color with a grass green mane, his height was the same as Spike but his head was a bit big for his body. "Oh sorry, I kinda blanked out when I saw you...Are you the Owners son? Could you get your father please", Spike told the filly but the filly stared at him with a deadpan look. "What is something I said...Do I smell funny", Spike raised his arm and smell his armpit. The kid facehoof nodding his head back and forth. "What is it!", Spike couldn't figure out why the kid was not talking.

"Pip, quit messing wid de customa an bring him ova here!", A voice called out from the back from which a red colored stallion  came out of the back room, his mane was matted in coils with beads in them, he wore a black, yellow, red, and green hat that flopped around. He had a small beard.

The colt pushed Spike towards the red stallion at first Spike was just being pushed by the filly whom used his big head until he finally used his own legs. Approaching the stallion Spike raised his arm for a shake from which the red stallion raised his foreleg to meet with Spikes hand, they shook hand and hoof. "Name's Spike, the number one assistant to Princess Twilight".

"Names Jacuzzi and dis is my Emporium of hot tubs. Where wi sell de bess Hot tubs dis side of Equestria", Jacuzzi stretched his foreleg out to show his shop with a big smile. "So wat brings yuh to mi shop...Looking to buy ah hot tub for yourself. Wait, did yah seh assistant to Princess Twilight, as inna de new Princess of Friendship Twilight", Jacuzzi was reassured by Spike who shook his head yes. "Well i'm honored de Princess chose our shop fah har relaxing needs". Jacuzzi bowed his head in respect to Spike a first for him to see, even the colt bowed. "Suh wat kine of hot tub does the Princess want inna particular", Jacuzzi asked while he smiled at the small child while his eyebrows went up and down.

"What's the fillys name, He doesn't seem like the talkative type", Spike asked pointing to the filly whom had the annoyed look on his face again like if Spike said something bad.

"Filly?", Jacuzzi looked around his shop until his eyes rested on the pony next to him.  A smile stretched across his face. "HAHAHA!" He blurt out laughing. "Dats no filly mon", Jacuzzi laughed some more confusing Spike even more. The small pony facehoof again.

"What do you mean he's not a filly"

"No mon, Dis here is Pipe. He's de one who fixes de hot tubs an is my partna in dis store. Pip ah dwarf pony mon dis as big he gonna get inna iz life. yuh nah de first to confuse ole pip for ah filly. Yuh ah de first dragon to though and yuh rite he's mute ", Jacuzzi said as he tapped pipe on the head who was still annoyed at both Spike and Jacuzzi. Now that Spike got a good look at Pipe he had a wrench and a pipe crossing each other.

"So he can fix any sort of plumbing", Spike asked shrugging his shoulder.

"Dis he can, he bess partna i've eva had", Pipe hit Jacuzzi on his leg which looked kind of funny from Spike's perspective. "Rite your de only partna i've had. Anyhoo wat hot tub ah yuh looking for", Jacuzzi asked.

"A cheap one"

"Okay", Jacuzzi looked around his store. He was a bit taken back by Spikes want of a cheap hot tub. Why would the Princess want a cheap one? "Well de cheapest one we ave is 269 bits".

"Ummmm, How about one for-", Spike dug around in his none existing pockets until he found a bunch of bits. "-Ten bits...", Nothing but silence and the stares from the two stallions who looked at each other and then back at Spike

"Yuh kidding rite...de only thin dis can buy you is air-freshener dat about it"

*Blam*

Spike came flying out the back door of the Emporium crashing into some garbage cans after being bucked by the dwarf stallion, an embarrassing moment if anything. He had just offered that sense he was an assistant to a Princess he could get one for free that idea turned for the worse.

"Som assistant nex time tink of ah betta way to get free stuf...Pretending to be ah assistant to ah Princess...Please", The red stallion said behind Pipe who stared at him with anger and then he slammed the door.

Spike flinched at the loud slam of the door. He picked himself off the ground brushing off any dirt and trash that was on him, picking a slimy banana peel from his head which left mucus behind. This was such a wonderful day for Spike, he ventured out of the alley. The building next to the Emporium was abandoned by many ponies the last time spike saw the building occupied was when that DJ mare had a party in it. That was a party to remember but not in the good way. The party turned for the worse when the building caught on fire ,some ponies disappeared and caused every pony to panic and go in a frenzy when they heard gunfire too. It was all over the newspapers for about a month. They never found those ponies.

The thought sent a shiver down Spike spine. He made sure he stayed a very good distance from the building thanks to the fire the building was black from the soot, the roof had collapsed inside the building this part was the most burned with all the wood being completely black, wood planks were everywhere. Ponies must not want to come back and clean. The building was at the edge of the Everfree much closer then Fluttershy's cottage so that may be part of the reason. Through one of the windows there was a a burned curtain flowing with the wind and an eerie whistle noise came from the building periodically. Spike started to walk away from the building and just go home, today for him was a bust.

"Don't g-go....", A voice whispered.

Spike stopped in his tracks. He turned around slowly to face the burnt building only to see a pony at the buildings door. The pony was wearing a black worn-out cloak it cover most of his body only showing his face which was very pale and crooked to the side causing spike to shudder at it's unnatural position. His eyes were just grey, as if they had no life in them but clearly he was alive. Spike was pretty freaked out about now but he didn't show it to the pony.

"Come...I...H-have...Something for...y-you", The pony said with a weary whisper.

"I don't think....", Spike scratched the back of his head he about to continue but his voice trailed off when the pony went inside the building. "Okay then...I'll follow", Spike said to himself, he didn't know why he was actually going to follow this mysteries pony but curiosity got the better of him. He pushed open the twin doors.

The inside fared no better then the outside. Inside the building was nothing but ash, soot, fallen boards and chucks of wood lay about. Glass bottles lingered everywhere, with what seemed as the remains of a DJ stereo. Some sunlight entered the building through the hole in the roof. Every step Spike took was with the sound of crunching. The building still smell of fire.

"Over here...I have what you a-are l-looking f-for", Another whisper from the stallion.

Spike wonder what he meant by that he followed him until he entered a room. Opening the door which creaked he saw in the middle of the room a hot tub. This hot tub was untouched by all the soot, the hot tub was just there. It was a typical square hot tub with the base of it being a coffee color with the inside where the water is suppose to go is ocean blue, it had a series of holes in three pairs which Spike only assumed to be the water jets they where all in each corner of the tub with indentations on it where somepony could sit. The side that faced Spike had two square panels side by side. One panel was much smaller then the other panel it had knob dial that controlled the temperature of the water the knob was already on a cold temperature that was represented by green and could be turned to a blood red color which indicated hot temperatures. The second larger panel which connected with the other panel, this panel had two temperature gauges next to each other and below them were four led lights that were in a row a pipe connected from the bottom of the panel and headed into the bottom of the tub. Spike rubbed the porcelain it was brand new. "Why in Equestria would a brand new hot tub be here of all places", Spike said inspecting the tub.

"I brought it...here...to give to you", The stallion said in a whisper his head still crooked to the side.

"For me", Spike said unsure why this stallion wanted to give him a hot tub.

"Yes...your looking for a...h-hot tub...are y-you not", The stallion always spoke with a whisper.

"Yes, but how did you know that", Spike said looking at the stallion with a concerned look.

"I overheard y-your...conversation with the owner..next...door I t-thought I would g-give you my h-hot tub".

"Your hot tub...why is it in this building".

"Well...you s-see I just b-bought t-this place...and I need to renovate it...I don't n-need this hot t-tub for what I plan to...d-do".

"That makes sense but I don't have that much money", Spike frowned. He was in defeat that he actually thought he could help Twilight.

"How much...do you have", The stallion asked.

"Just ten bits".

"That's enough...", The stallion reached out his foreleg which made an unnaturally loud cracking sound and it limped a bit in the air. The hoof was just as pale as the stallions face his grey lifeless eyes stared at Spike like daggers.

Spike nodded and dug in his pockets taking out ten bits exactly. He rested the bits on the stallions hoof whom in return put them away in his coat. "So now that the hot tub is...mine I guess how will I get it to the princesses castle", Spike said who looked back to the hot tub.

"Magic...by the time you go...to the c-castle...it will be there", The stallion simply said in a tone louder then he has ever gotten.

"O-okay, I guess that's it then. see you later, hope what ever plans you have for this building works out", Spike said steadily increasing his speed to the exit waving goodbye to the pale stallion as well as this damned building. The stallion waved back eerily.

"My plan is...already working out", These words did not come from the stallion's mouth who fell over on his side to ground, his eyes still staring lifeless.

"See you soon Princess...ha. ha. ha!", Said a voice that came from all around the building.

Just Dip A Hoof!

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