"Aww, mom! Do I have to?"
You cannot believe it. You have just arrived home from school and already your weekend is ruined. All week long you planned to spend the afternoon with the other colts of Ponyville when your mom has called you for an errand. You are not looking forward to Monday, especially Hearts and Hooves Day. The one day where all the fillies in school take the time to send you candy and gush about you how cute you are. The thought of a first class one-way ticket to Cootieland makes you throw up in your mouth a little.
"Now, look," your mother scolds you. "All you have to do is go to Sugarcube Corner and pick up that cake I ordered. Is that too much to ask for?"
"I guess not," you reply.
"Then, why are you making such a big deal out of it?" she asks.
"I promised Button Mash I'd play video games at his house today," you tell her.
"Bring back the cake and I'll let you go," your mother promises. She straps your saddlebag around you and places some money inside. Then, she ushers you to the front door and kisses you goodbye. You wince when her lips touch your cheek, the thought that you are too old for this not crossing your mother's mind. "Be back soon!" she calls as you trot out the front door. As soon as you hear the door close, you put your head down and slow your pace down to a steady walk. You curse under your breath even though you are not supposed to.
It's a good thing moms can't be special someponies, you think as you watch the receding trail of cobblestones. She's always telling me what to do. Clean your room, take out the trash, look both ways before crossing the—
"Oof!"
"Ow!"
Your train of thought derails as you bump heads with another foal about your height. Perhaps your mother was right about looking both ways. You sit on your haunches on the cobblestones, holding your head in an effort to keep it from spinning. As your vision comes to, a bright pink blotch begins taking up most of your field of view. Shaking off the last of the stars, you swallow hard as the foal you bumped into regains her consciousness. You have heard stories about her ruthlessness and attitude in school but you never imagined you would cross paths with the queen of mean's spawn herself, much less run into her off school grounds.
"Hey!" Diamond Tiara exclaims, pointing her hoof at you. "Next time, watch where you're going!"
"I'm sorry, Diamond!" you beg. "I didn't see you there."
The filly shifts off her haunches and comes closer. Your life starts flashing before your eyes as her muzzle nearly touches yours. You have had your fair share of bullies but nopony quite as bad as this one. The rest may as well be candle flames compared to the blazing inferno in her eyes.
"You were looking at the ground, you donkey!" she squeals. "If I ever see you around here again, I'll gift-wrap a black eye for your Hearts and Hooves Day! Capisce?"
Oh no, you think. She is capable of violence.
"Capisce," you squeak. The bully turns tail and begins to walk away, sparing your life. You watch her go, almost too petrified to speak.
Almost.
You look down and see her tiara lying on the cobblestones. You pick it up, realizing she must have forgotten to take it with her. Your thoughts argue whether you should tell her or leave her alone, not helped by your throbbing headache.
"Hey!" you call out against your better judgment. "Hey, Diamond! Your tiara!"
The pink filly freezes in her tracks and feels the top of her mane. With a flinch, she turns about face and canters closer to you. "Gimme that!" she yells before snatching her tiara. She gives you a dirty look as she places it on the top of her mane and ruffles it to her liking.
"It looks good on you," you say before your brain can stop you.
Diamond looks about as shocked as you are. She holds onto her tiara with her eyes wide and pupils dilated. "Y-you really think so?" she asks you. "Nopony's ever told me that before, 'cept for daddy but he doesn't count."
You think of what else to say, worried that anything could drag you into a deeper hole. "Nopony?" you repeat, praying to Celestia for an easy way out.
"You're the first colt that's ever told me that," she says to you.
You swallow hard and blush, hoping Diamond is too busy fixing her tiara to notice. Instead, she leans in closer and smiles, making you sweat a little. You finally muster enough courage to ask, "Where were you going?"
"I was going to meet up with Silver Spoon at Sugarcube Corner for a shake."
You feel nothing in your chest, thinking your heart may have dropped out of your barrel and rolled amongst the cobblestones. "So was I," you tell her.
"Why don't we walk together?" she asks, fluttering her eyes.
"Um, uh, sure," you say though every part of your body except your mouth is screaming no. Shaking with all your might, you catch up to Diamond Tiara who walks across the stones with confidence. Finally, you see the gingerbread-like building in the distance and increase your pace until you reach the entrance. Like the gentlecolt your mother raised you to be, you open the front door and—
SMACK!
As if your headache could not get any worse. You sit down and hold your head while Diamond Tiara titters at you.
"Sorry," she apologizes, "you okay?"
"I'm fine," you lie. You glance at your reflection in the nearest window you could find but you do not see yourself. You see a disheveled colt with two large lumps on his head. "What happened to me?" you yell.
"Don't worry," Diamond tells you. "Maybe a milkshake can help with that."
You gasp through your teeth. Now she wants to drink milkshakes with you? This has officially gone from bad to worse. The two of you walk side by side and approach the counter where a pink mare with a poofy magenta manedo bounces about tending to come packages of cakes before leaping to the counter.
"Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!" she squeals. "What can I get for you two love-foals on this day before the day before the day before Hearts and Hooves Day?"
You hold back a scream. You know better than to question the Pinkie Sense of Pinkie Pie. If she says you and Diamond Tiara are one hot item, then you fear it must be true. You reach into your saddlebags and count out the bits your mother gave you.
"I ordered a two-layer red velvet cake with fun-tastic frosting," you say, giving Pinkie Pie the money. She counts up the bits but hesitates. "What's the matter?" you ask her. "Is it enough?"
Pinkie Pie shakes her head. "No, you gave me too much. You have enough for another goodie or two."
She holds out the change and immediately realize that your mother has accidentally given you enough for not one but two milkshakes. You pause, thinking she may have planned this, before turning to Diamond. "What flavor?" you ask her before you can think.
"Ooh!" Diamond's eyes turn to stars before your very eyes. "I'm just in the mood for strawberry. That's fine."
"Two milkshakes," you tell Pinkie Pie. "One chocolate, one strawberry."
"You got it!" Pinkie squeals and fires up the milkshake machine. As you turn to get yourself a table, you cannot help but think for a moment that you just saw three fillies shrink from the window. You stare outdoors for what feels like an eternity until Diamond nudges you.
"What's the matter?" she asks.
"I thought I saw something," you say as the two of you find a table. Soon enough, Pinkie Pie trots over to your table, somehow carrying your mother's packaged cake on her mane and a pair of milkshakes on her tail.
"Order up!" she announces, dropping off the food before walking back to the counter.
"Say," you remember as Diamond starts sipping her strawberry shake. "Weren't you meeting somepony here?"
Diamond stops drinking and her expression sours at the mention of her accomplice. "Yeah, it's not like Silver Spoon to be late. She is my best friend after all."
Just then, you hear the welcoming bell ring and a grey filly with a braided silver mane walks into the bakery. "Sorry I'm late, Di," she announces but before she could say anything else, she freezes at the sight of her with somepony else, namely you. The two of you stare at each other with your brows raised and your mouths closed.
"You must be Silver Spoon," you say finally.
"Uh, yeah," she replies. "But who are you again?"
"My name is—" you say just as Pinkie Pie sneezes.
"Oh!" Diamond exclaims, having heard your name anyway. "That sure is a cute name for a colt like you."
Your stomach does a double knot. She did not just call you cute, did she? Wait, she called your name that way but that still is something about you she thinks is cute.
"Di?" Silver Spoon asks, clearing her glasses. "That isn't your special somepony, is it?"
NO! you scream internally. First Pinkie, now this filly's best friend is in on the act. Worse still, she now brought up the dreaded phrase and three days before Hearts and Hooves Day, no less. You sink in your chair, hoping the milkshake you slurp will ice the pain of humiliation.
"Of course not!" Diamond yells, giving you a glimmer of hope that burns out. "Not yet at least."
You hear Silver Spoon's voice coming closer. "How long have you known him?"
"We ran into each other fifteen minutes ago."
Has it really been that long? In that same time span, she also called you a donkey and threatened to beat you up. Was this how dad met mom? you think to yourself as you rise back up in your seat. Your heart skips a beat when you see Silver right next to Diamond. "So, Diamond, how's the milkshake?" you ask.
Diamond turns her head back toward you and sips her shake. "Pretty good, I guess," she replies. "So, what are you doing tomorrow?"
"I've got nothing planned," you say before you can stop yourself.
Diamond smiles and twists herself on her seat, blocking Silver Spoon from her field of view. "Neither do I," she tells you. "Wanna meet me at my house at ten tomorrow?"
In an eerily similar case of déjà vu, the only part of your body that says "Yes," is your mouth.
"Great!" Diamond shouts. She finishes her milkshake and hops off her stool. "I'll see you then." You stare into nothingness as Diamond walks out of Sugarcube Corner. A lovesick smile crosses your lips and your eyelids droop as you continue to sip your milkshake.
"Hey, are you all right?"
You do a double take and knock the empty glass down on the table. How long have you been drinking nothing? You glance to your left and find Silver Spoon has budged not an inch since Diamond Tiara left.
"I really should get going," you tell Silver Spoon before shifting off your stool and walking toward the exit.
"Hey!" Silver calls to you again. "Aren't you forgetting something?"
You feel your empty saddlebag when the realization hits you. "Oh no!" you gasp and trot back to the table. Silver Spoon helps you load the cake package into your saddlebag and you walk out of Sugarcube Corner. Well, you never make it out. You open the door to find three fillies blocking your way.
"We need to talk," one of them, a yellow earth pony with a fiery red mane and huge pink bow, addresses. You have heard stories about Apple Bloom and the other two Cutie Mark Crusaders accompanying her as well. Not a day goes by without somepony complaining that they are always causing trouble in town. Just last week, they got detention for trying to get their spitball cutie marks. Outnumbered three to one, you have no choice but to follow the fillies to the back of Sugarcube Corner.
"What's the problem?" you ask.
"What's the problem?" Apple Bloom repeats. "What are y'all doin' havin' milkshakes with Diamond Tiara? Don'tcha know she's the meanest filly in school?"
"Well, uh, she isn't that bad once you get to know her," you tell her.
"She's been bullying us ever since she got her cutie mark," an orange pegasus with a purple mane says, "and you think she isn't that bad?"
"Scootaloo's right!" a white unicorn with a pink and purple coiffure agrees. "And she gets away with everything, too!"
"Yeah, Sweetie Belle," Apple Bloom compliments her friend before turning to you. "I'd watch my withers if I were you."
"What for?" you ask. "What if she really likes me?"
"She likes you!?" the three fillies scream at once.
"I-I never said she did," you try to correct yourself. "She wants me to come to her house tomorrow, though."
"Oh no!" Scootaloo yells, lowering her brow. "You can't go there!"
"Look," you tell her. "Maybe she wants to get to know me more."
"So she can exploit your weaknesses?" Sweetie Belle gasps. "She knows all about us. The last thing she needs is another target!"
"She hasn't really done anything bad to me," you lie.
"Not yet," Apple Bloom says, shaking her head. "She's gonna break your heart into tiny pieces when she's through with you."
"How would we know?" you ask her. "I'll have to go there tomorrow and see what happens."
The Crusaders stare dumbstruck as you turn around and walk away. As you round the corner, you cannot help but hear some whispering amongst them but that thought leaves your mind once you arrive back at home.
"Button's mom was here," your mother says as you walk in. "I know you wanted to play video games but Button had a doctor's appointment today."
"I completely forgot," you reply as you fetch the cake from your saddlebag.
The rest of your day is rather uneventful, save for your mother tending to your two head injuries. You tell her that you got hit twice by some older foals playing stickball and she buys it. You sleep in on Saturday morning with your mom not bothering to wake you. Half-asleep, you roll toward your dresser and glance at your alarm clock. "9:30?" you gasp. You have to be at Diamond Tiara's house in half an hour! You climb out of bed and canter to the kitchen to make your breakfast. You pour yourself a bowl of Haysin Bran and grab a container of milk from the refrigerator. As you sit down to eat your cereal, you mother walks into the kitchen, having also slept late.
"Can I play outside today, mom?" you ask after swallowing your first spoonful.
"Where are you going?" she wants to know.
"Oh, I was planning on going to the playground at school," you tell her.
"I don't see why not," she tells you. "Just be home for supper!"
"Thanks, mom!" you shout. As soon as she is gone, you wolf down the rest of your breakfast and trot outside. The pegasi must have smiled down on you because it is yet another beautiful day outside in Ponyville. You walk through the streets, catching Diamond Tiara's house in the distance. That place sticks out like a sore thumb, no other house is that big or surrounded by mile-high hedges or an iron gate. You do not expect the gate to be unlocked but you swing it open anyway, thinking she remembered you were coming. Your nerves start coursing through your body as you travel up the front walk and knock on the front door. Seconds later, the door opens and you find yourself face to face with a tan stallion wearing a dollar-sign necktie and sporting a greasy back mane.
"Hello," he greets you.
You have trouble remembering her father's name and blurt out, "Is Diamond home, Mr. Tiara?"
The stallion, Filthy Rich, bursts out in laughter and you blush in response. "Mr. Tiara," he scoffs. "That's a new one."
"Daddy!" you hear the filly from yesterday call from inside. "If it's Apple Bloom, I'm not home!"
"It's not Apple Bloom," Filthy announces, rolling his eyes. "A colt wants to see you."
You hear a squee from inside the house and frantic hoofsteps. "You came!" Diamond shouts as she steps into view. She glances somewhere in the house, presumably to look at a clock because she then says, "Five minutes late but who's counting?"
"So, what do you want to do?" you ask Diamond.
"It's such a nice day," she says. "How about we go to the park and pony watch?"
"Sounds good to me," you reply.
"Have fun, you two," Filthy says, giving you a wink as he closes the door.
"What are we waiting for?" Diamond asks. "Let's go!"
After the two of you head side by side down the front walk, you hold the gate open for Diamond Tiara to walk out before closing it yourself. You catch up to her, not noticing a banana peel strewn on the ground until you look down. Before you can stop yourself, you step on the peel and its motion carries you across the cobblestones and right towards Diamond. You backpedal with your hind hooves just before you crash into her.
"Are you okay?" she asks.
"Yeah," you reply. "I really should watch where I'm walking."
Diamond chuckles and the two of you continue on towards the park. In the distance, you swear you can hear a filly screaming "OH, COME ON!" followed by muffled shouts and sounds of a struggle.
The two of you pass one last row of houses before coming to a clearing with benches near the trees marking the edge of the park. You lead Diamond over to the first unoccupied bench and gesture for her to sit down first. You shuffle right next to her and look around the park. Nothing really catches your eye except for a light green mare sitting in an awkward position on the bench next to you. You figure the mare she is sharing the bench with, bright yellow with a dark blue and pink mane, is used to it by now.
"Oh, that's just Lyra and Bon Bon," Diamond tells you, diverting their attention. "They say Lyra has this fascination with something called humans which is why she sits like that."
"Have you asked her yourself?" you want to know.
"I really should," Diamond says with a shrug.
You take a deep breath of the fresh air around you and let it out. You could not have asked for a more beautiful day. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and there is not one cloud in the sky. Wait, there is a cloud and a mare whose coat nearly matches the sky is pushing it towards the park.
"The squirt said they were sitting by this tree," you overhear her say as she maneuvers the cloud near you.
You tap Diamond on the shoulder and point to the cloud before it casts a shadow over your bench. Just as quickly, you see the cloud edge away towards the bench right next to you. The pegasus snickers, gives it a swift kick and flies away, leaving a rainbow trail behind her. You and Diamond only focus on the cloud until you hear Bon Bon and Lyra screaming from the bench right next to you, drenched with rain water.
"How about we take a walk?" you ask Diamond.
She shrugs in response and the two of you hop off the bench. Out of the corner of your eye, you think you can see Scootaloo facehoof.
You and Diamond walk side by side out of the park and into the woods. You notice that Diamond has an unsure look on her face as you approach a white fence.
"What is it?" you ask her.
"This is Sweet Apple Acres," she says, pointing ahead. "See the tree-house?"
"Yeah?"
"That's where the Cutie Mark Crusaders meet," she tells you.
It all rings a bell for you now but you keep quiet. The last thing you want is for Diamond to be alarmed at those last two attempts to ruin your perfect day. "Do you wonder what they're up to?" you ask her finally.
"Silver Spoon and I sometimes drop in and offer some encouragement," Diamond says, grinning at you. "If you know what I mean."
You also keep forgetting what kind of a filly Diamond Tiara is. How can one so ruthless and have the hots for you at the same time. The mere thought of this is enough to make your head explode.
"Hold your horses, Apple Bloom. I'll show y'all in just a moment."
You and Diamond gasp and look around. Down the path you see Applejack having a word with the CMC as they walk in your direction.
"Let's hide," Diamond suggests and the two of you canter off the path and hide behind one of the apple trees. The two of you peer behind it as the orange mare leads the three fillies towards the clubhouse and stops there.
"I was gonna wait until you were a tad older, Apple Bloom, but y'all might be ready now," Applejack tells her younger sister.
"I reckon we should practice on that tree over there," Apple Bloom suggests, making the two of you gulp. "I can do it."
Applejack sniggers. "All right, sugarcube. Remember, it's all in the hips."
The two of you hear Apple Bloom giggling as she comes closer to the tree the two of you hide behind. Then, a staggering force hits the tree and you both duck and cover. Seconds later, you look up and find that none of its apples have fallen.
"That's okay, sugarcube," Applejack says. "Try it again."
You both cower again as Apple Bloom bucks the tree a second time. Only this time, you hear a rumbling from behind you along with Applejack yelping in surprise. The two of you peer from behind the tree and see the crusaders on her haunches, covering their faces with a knocked out Applejack neck-deep in a pile of apples. The two of you slip away from the four ponies.
You and Diamond walk out of the woods and across Ponyville's streets once more. You keep your eye out for the crusaders but so far no sign of them.
"Where do you want to go now?" you ask Diamond.
"I dunno," she replies. "How about we sit down somewhere?"
"Fine by me," you tell her. You look around for a spot that the two of you can share a nice, quiet time together, away from those three. Up ahead, you spot one of the bridges that leads out of town so you and Diamond walk to the railing and and rest over it. In spite of everything that has happened so far, you cannot help but smile. Diamond notices and she looks at you dreamily with one hoof against her mane.
"Psst!"
You strain your hearing only to hear another "Psst!" underneath the bridge. You peer over slightly and see three hooves waving at you.
"Uh, excuse me," you tell Diamond.
"Whatever," she replies as you walk off the bridge. You come underneath and see the crusaders yet again.
"What do you guys want?" you ask them.
Apple Bloom shakes her head. "Oh, nothing," she replies. "You know, we were thinkin' y'all are becoming real close to each other."
Your heart tightens. Now the CMC think differently?
"Yeah, we're sorry," Scootaloo says. "We wanna make it up to you."
"How?" you question.
"Here," Sweetie Belle says, picking up a paper bag with her unicorn magic. "Tell her it's a surprise."
She levitates the bag to you and you feel something large and mushy inside. Only three words cross your lips: "What is it?"
"Shh!" Apple Bloom shushes you. "We can't tell, then it wouldn't be a surprise."
"Okay," you comply before chomping down on the bag. As you emerge from under the bridge, you hear the crusaders snickering. You then walk back to Diamond Tiara, set the bag down and hang over the railing alongside her.
"Diamond," you ask for her attention.
"Yes?"
"I have a present for you," you tell her.
Diamond's eyes gleam, rattling your nerves. You can hardly believe she is this close to being your special somepony. As you lean over to your left side, you feel around for the bag but find nothing. You sharply turn your head only to find the bag near the edge of the bridge. Shrugging, you walk on over to bite down on it, figuring it slid down the incline.
"Aw, you shouldn't have," she swoons as she holds the bag with her forelegs. You close your eyes and savor the moment of a cacophonous croak followed by Diamond shrieking, "EEEEE! GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF!"
Your eyes pop open at Diamond Tiara fighting to get a bullfrog the size of her head out of her mane. You rush over to the railing in an attempt to catch the frog but one bad reach sends the two of you tumbling over the edge. You both scream as you fall into the river with a mighty splash. The frog finally escapes from Diamond's mane and swims downstream. Behind you, three fillies roll with laughter, giving you ample evidence as to who finally succeeded in ruining your day with Diamond. You ignore them and walk over to Diamond who fixes her mane.
"Excuse me for a moment," she tells you before walking out of the water. You can only watch from underneath the bridge as your soaking wet partner approaches the crusaders.
"What's the matter, DT?" Apple Bloom asks. "All washed up?"
"It's not funny!" Diamond yells as the crusaders continue laughing.
"Guess your day just got frogged up," Sweetie Belle taunts her.
"That's enough!" Diamond shouts. You can hear a tremor in her voice.
"Too bad your date's a wet blanket, too!" Scootaloo adds. The crusaders let out another round of laughter which would be their last.
"STOP! LAUGHING!" Diamond screams at the top of her lungs. "What is WRONG with you three!? I'm leaving you alone so why can't you let us be? This is the first time somepony has been nice to me and you three ruined it! It's a good thing I haven't seen cutie marks in the shape of broken hearts 'cause you three would be prime candidates for that talent!"
And with that, Diamond canters away from the crusaders, bawling. You catch her running across the bridge to snatch her tiara before she disappears.
Still soaking wet, you emerge from under the bridge and find the CMC with their heads down.
Apple Bloom breathes a heavy sigh before asking, "What have we done?"
"I didn't know Diamond Tiara of all fillies was capable of feelings," Scootaloo sniffles, holding back a year.
"We didn't just upset her, though," Sweetie Belle notices as you approach the fillies.
"Girls," you tell them, "what you did to Diamond doesn't excuse anything she did to you because you involved somepony else in your plan—me."
"We didn't mean any harm," Apple Bloom says.
"Try telling that to Diamond Tiara," you tell her.
"She and Silver Spoon are always causing harm to us," Sweetie Belle defends their actions.
"What about the other foals at school?" you ask them. "Would you get back at them the same way?"
Sweetie Belle shakes her head. "I guess not."
"We all didn't know we were hurtin' you, too," Apple Bloom sighs. "We wanna make it up to you and Diamond."
"We do?" Scootaloo asks before Apple Bloom gently bucks her foreleg. "Ow! I mean 'we do'."
"That's so nice," you compliment her.
"We'll think of something," Sweetie Belle reassures you. "Tell Diamond to meet you behind Carousel Boutique at 6:30 tonight."
"Okay," you agree before picking yourself up and trotting off. Before leaving, you overhear one last conversation between the crusaders.
"What are you doing?" Scootaloo yells.
"This goes a lot further than Diamond," Apple Bloom says.
"We need to give that colt a date he'll never forget," Sweetie Belle says before you pull out of range of hearing them.
The midday sun beats down on you as you walk through town back to Diamond's house. You pull the gate open, travel up the front walk and knock on the door. Seconds later, you hear somepony approaching the door to pull it open.
"Hi, Silver Spoon," you greet the filly who answered the door. "Where's Diamond?"
"Her dad's giving her a bath," Silver Spoon notifies you before sniffing the air. "Pee-you!" she exclaims suddenly and plugs her snout. "Where have you been?"
You smell yourself and wince. Indeed, your little spill has taken its toll on your coat. "Diamond and me fell in the river," you explain.
"So that's why Mr. Rich blew up at her before," Silver Spoon says.
"Can you give her a message?" You request.
Silver Soon backs away to escape from your stench but complies. "Okay, what?"
"Tell her to meet me behind Carousel Boutique at 6:30 tonight."
"Sure, whatever," she says before coughing. "At least take a bath first!"
"Thanks, Silver," you say before trotting down Diamond's front walk. The moment you get home, your mom takes one whiff of where you have been and scoops you up on her back.
"You need a bath, buster!" she shouts as she runs to the bathroom. She places you in the tub and starts filing it with water. You moan as you touch the cold water running from the faucet before the heat settles in. She grabs a bottle of bubble bath with her mouth and pours some of it in. With the water and suds now reaching your head, she grabs a brush and scrubs your coat.
"Not so hard, mom!" you complain.
"You should have thought about that before you got dirty," she tells you for the thousandth time. And she wonders why you hate baths.
You sigh in relief once she finishes scrubbing but forget she still has to do your mane. The thought hits you just as she rubs some shampoo through it.
"You're gonna need a mane cut soon," she comments as she washes your mane. You like going to the barber as much as you like taking baths. You never want to have your mane short but your mom never gives you any options. She rinses your mane and pulls the plug, draining the water. She then snags a towel and dries you off.
"Here comes the spin cycle!" she coos, spinning you around in a circle.
"Mom!" you yelp. "I'm getting too old for this!"
"Maybe," she says. "But you'll never get too old for this."
You groan as she pulls you in for a hug. Will she ever get the picture? At this rate, Button's mom adopting you would be an improvement.
"I'm gonna start making dinner soon," she tells you.
"Wait!" you cry out. How convenient that your friend's mother is still on your mind. "I think I'll have dinner over Button's house," you say. "His mom's making homemade macaroni and cheese."
"Oh, okay," she buys it. "Maybe I can convince your father into a nice dinner before Hearts and Hooves. He's so tight with money."
As she exits the bathroom, you look at the clock hanging in the hallway. You realize you only have half an hour to get ready for your date. What about that smelly stuff dad wears? If it works on mom, it has to work on Diamond, too. You open the drawer and spot a bottle with "Woodstallion Magix" printed on the label. You spray some on your hooves before rubbing it on your face and neck.
"I smell like I ate a pine tree," you quip to yourself. After putting the bottle away, you walk out of the bathroom and near the front door.
"I'm off to Button's!" you shout.
"Have fun, sweetie!" your mother calls as you close the front door. Nopony needed to hear that.
Celestia's sun reaches the bottom of the horizon as you pass through town. You spot the boutique at the end of a walkway and cross the bridge. You peer inside one of the windows and find that you are ten minutes early. The door opens and the crusaders walk out one by one, each dressed in formal attire.
"Isn't it great my sister is a fashion designer?" Sweetie Belle beams.
"You're lucky she's out of town," Scootaloo tells her.
"'Til tomorrow I think," Sweetie Belle answers back.
"Okay, what am I doing?" you ask, hoping to speed things up.
"When Diamond Tiara gets here, take her over yonder to the backyard," Apple Bloom directs. "We have a surprise for y'all. Ooh! We have to get ready!"
Without another word, the three fillies pile back into the boutique and close the door. You turn around and find out why. As Luna begins to raise the moon, Diamond Tiara makes her way down the bridge. You smile as she approaches you and her frown turns upside down as well.
"I'm glad you came," you tell her.
"At least I get to spend the night with you," she says. You walk side by side around the building and come to a lone table in the backyard with a lit candle as its centerpiece. You pull up a chair and motion for Diamond to sit down before taking the other seat. The back door to the boutique opens and the CMC march out, making Diamond do a double take.
"Welcome to Shay's Boutique!" Apple Bloom barks, drawing a glare from Sweetie Belle.
"That's Chez," she corrects her. "The Z is silent."
"Whatever," Apple Bloom says with a shrug. "Tonight, at Chez Boutique, we have a fine three-course dinner for two on the menu: tossed salad, daisy sandwiches and fresh-baked apple pie à la mode."
"Mmm," you remark, rubbing your stomach.
"While you eat," Apple Bloom continues, "y'all-I mean you will be serenaded with lovely music provided by the piano-playing talents of Scootaloo—"
"Hold it!" Scootaloo interrupts, lowering her brow. "I never agreed to that."
Apple Bloom snags Scootaloo by her collar and pointed to the toy piano sitting next to the table. "Either you play the piano or Sweetie Belle and I will lock you in the farm's chicken coop. Y'all with us or not?"
"Pfft," Scootaloo spat. "Okay, you win." She took her place behind the piano and stuck out her tongue.
"Your salad will be coming up shortly," Apple Bloom promises, heading back inside Carousel Boutique. Sweetie Belle, on the other hoof, stays outside and walks toward Scootaloo.
"I don't know any love songs, Sweets," you overhear Scootaloo whisper.
"I'll make one up," she whispers back. "Start playing."
Scootaloo rolls her eyes and produces a melody on the piano. Sweetie Belle clears her throat and starts singing.
"On this lovely evening
Young lovers all believe
You two are just like turtle doves
On Hearth's Warming Eve—"
"Stop!" Scootaloo yells, laying off the piano. "You've got the wrong holiday."
"At least I'm trying," Sweetie Belle replies. "Plus you were flat on that third bar."
"I'll show you who's flat in a moment!" Scootaloo threatens, rising on all fours.
You and Diamond watch the war of words from your seats. As Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle get in each other's faces, you sigh to yourself and facehoof.
"How convenient," Diamond deadpans. "Dinner and a show."
"You think piano playing is so easy," Scootaloo fires back.
"It is!" Sweetie Belle yells. "All you're doing is banging some keys!" Sweetie Belle sits in front of the piano and mashes the keyboard with her hooves.
"Stop that!" Scootaloo orders. "What about singing? All you're doing is going 'la-de-la-de-LA!'"
"Time to eat!" Apple Bloom calls from the kitchen. Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle hurriedly fix their manes and their outfits before dashing to you and Diamond at the table. "Hope you two are hungry for a nice salad," Apple Bloom says, wheeling a cart containing a covered dish across the yard. She puts her hoof on the cover, the two of you licking your lips and reaching for your forks. Apple Bloom removes the cover only to find that you and Diamond have already been beaten to the salad.
"Angel!" Apple Bloom shouts, discovering Fluttershy's rabbit chewing on the last leaf. "Bad bunny!"
Angel snags a toothpick from the table and hops off the cart. You wince as he nonchalantly picks his teeth while walking into the woods, nopony putting any effort into catching him.
"Well, at least there's the main course," Scootaloo says.
FWEE! FWEE!
Carousel Boutique's smoke alarm rattles you and the four fillies. The crusaders dash back into the building while you cover your head and ignore whatever expression Diamond wears on her face.
"Uh-oh!" Apple Bloom gasps, opening the back door. "The sandwiches!"
"I thought you wanted me to sing," Sweetie Belle says.
"Oh, shut the—" FWEE! "—up!" Scootaloo's snap gets drowned out by the smoke alarm.
You stare at the remaining smoke escaping the back door for what feels like a thousand moons before Apple Bloom pushes a second cart outside, coughing. You and Diamond stare with your mouths agape until she reaches the table.
"Dinner is served," she says, removing the cover of the platter. A thick cloud of smoke hits you in the face and you shield your eyes while Diamond coughs. By the time you open your eyes, you finally see the smoldering remains of the daisy sandwiches plus a few unrecognizable side dishes.
"Our specialty is the flambé," Apple Bloom says, pointing out each part of the platter. "Here are your daisy sandwiches, horseshoe fries, broccoli, peas, carrots and cider."
You let out an awkward squeak. How does one manage to burn cider?
Apple Bloom lunges forward to pick up the platter with her hooves but lets go just as quickly. "Ow!" she exclaims. "Hot! Hot!" She blows on her hooves before pushing the cart closer until it hits the table. "Here," she says. "Y'all better eat from here."
"Apple Bloom!" Scootaloo cries suddenly from the boutique and rushes outside. "Apple Bloom, come quick!"
"What now?" Apple Bloom rolls her eyes.
"It's the pie!" Scootaloo pants. "I think we used too much—"
KA-BOOM!
The explosion from inside the boutique sends tremors through the surrounding area, making you cling to the table for dear life. The force sends Apple Bloom and Scootaloo on their stomachs, forcing them to duck and cover.
"So much for dessert," Scootaloo sighs.
You and your date are too preoccupied with the blast to notice the door opening yet again and something oozing out of Carousel Boutique, something alive. Your jaw hits the grass as it sneaks up behind the two crusaders.
"Uh, girls?" you whimper, pointing behind them.
"What?" Apple Bloom and Scootaloo answer in unison. They both turn around and see a gigantic moving blob of dough with the scent of fresh apples ready to strike at them. They scream and turn around to run but forget the carts and your table is still in the way. The four of you shout as the table topples over, sending you and the others rolling on the ground. The blob seeps around the table towards the two crusaders who cling to each other.
"Who wants pie?" the blob says in Sweetie Belle's voice.
Scootaloo wipes its sludge, revealing her unicorn friend's face. "Sweetie Belle?" she chuckles nervously. "I knew that was you."
You stagger back on all fours and wipe the dust off you. The CMC walk up to you, each sharing the same forlorn expression. Sweetie Belle continues to wipe some dough remnants off her coat and mane.
"We're sorry," Apple Bloom apologizes. "We wanted to make this your best night ever."
"Yeah," Scootaloo said, "but Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle ruined everything."
"Scoots!" Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle shout together. You lower your brow and raise yourself off your haunches but then, you hear somepony trying to hold back laughter. The four of you turn your heads toward a giggling Diamond Tiara.
"Diamond?" you ask, walking in her direction. "What's so funny?"
"Oh, great," Apple Bloom moans. "She's laughing at us."
"No," Diamond titters. "I had fun on our date."
"You did?" you and the crusaders shout all at once.
"Sure, I did," she admits. "This evening wasn't going to work out so I made the most of it."
"You mean you knew we were gonna botch this date?" Scootaloo asks.
"When Silver Spoon said dinner was at Carousel Boutique, I kinda figured the three of you would be behind this."
"Did you have a good time, though?" Sweetie Belle asks you.
You look at the CMC, then at Diamond who smiles, then at the crusaders once again. You grin as well and say, "I had a blast."
"I reckon we didn't do so bad after all," Apple Bloom reasons.
"I just have one question," Diamond says. Nothing in Equestria could have prepared you with the question she was about to ask, not even the dreamy smile across her lips. You feel your whole world stop when she asks, "Will you be my special somepony?"
You and the crusaders gasp, Diamond's expression remains unchanged. You feel your heart skip several beats and loose the feeling in all four of your legs. In spite of that, you hide all your emotions well around the three fillies by your side and the one facing you.
"Yes!" you announce. "Yes, I do. You're amazing, Diamond."
Diamond closes her eyes and gives you a kiss on the cheek. For the first time in your short life, you enjoy being kissed.
"I'll see you Monday at school," Diamond says, turning around and walking off. You watch as she goes around the boutique and across the bridge before you face the crusaders.
"I can't thank you enough," you tell them.
"We had to do what was right," Sweetie Belle says. "We felt bad about the frog."
"Oh, that's past us now," you reply. "Maybe she'll go easier on you guys."
"We can only hope," Scootaloo quips.
"I'd better get going," you tell them as you look at through the window at a watch in the boutique. "My mom thinks I'm eating at Button's house."
"How come you ain't spendin' time with him, Sweetie Belle?" Apple Bloom snarls.
The petite crusader covers her face with a blush and a giggle. The other two laugh as you start heading home. You begin your trek cross the bridge, hearing somepony singing to herself. You move our head and find Rarity carrying some fully-packed saddlebags.
"Hello, darling," she greets you, interrupting her song.
"Hi, Rarity," you wave to her. You make the first turn away from the boutique and your special somepony enters your mind again. You have another first to look forward to; being in school for Hearts and Hooves Day to see Diamond Tiara in class. You arrive at your house and open the front door.
"SWEETIE BELLE!" Rarity's scream reaches your ears. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN!?"
You whistle a tune as you close the door behind you.
