The strange Infiltrator

by nightstalker1996

Rating: teen
Tags: Fetish, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Adventure, Sex, Profanity, Random, Gore, Violence, Princess Celestia, Dark, Death, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 31976

The first thing I saw when I woke up was a white ceiling.

A human being thrust into the world of equestria against his own will. Placed in the care of Princess Twilight for an unknown reason by Princess Celestia. The human, who goes by the name of Anon, must learn the customs and lifestyles of the world he finds himself in. But will he be able to live in this new world peacefully or will his past come to destroy it?

Published 2015-03-10 03:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2018-12-20 19:16:34 UTC

prologue

Author's Note

This is my first fan fiction. Please comment on what you think for the beginning. I'm going to be telling the rest of the story in I thing first or second person. Would love some advice. Thank you for reading this. I am going to do more chapters later. please leave comments thank you!

prologue

My life was just like any other human on earth. I went to school, hanged out with friends, and did everything a human would do. Then everything changed one uneventful day. I was going through my usual routine that I usually go throughout the day, when I hear a knock on my front door. Sure no big deal just a knock. I opened the door to find three big guys in black suits. Yep they were just standing there staring at me. Next thing I know they’re pointing guns at my face and telling me to come with them so, I do. What did you think I was going to do run? They throw me in a car and start driving and the whole time I was getting my alibies together. They ask about all those songs on my ipad I’ll say that it was my brother. They ask about the porn on my computer I’ll tell them it was my brother. They start asking about bodies then I’ll blame them for losing them. While I’m thinking of all these excuses, we reach are destination. Just a plain military base no big deal. I did write my will already right? Next thing I know I’m in front of the president of the United States and he tells me that I have a special skill. He tells me that my skill makes everyone around me like me. He makes it sound like I am going to train to be a spy and infiltrate enemy camps and help the Government capture them. Did I tell you I tend to be right a lot of times? So, I’m getting recruited at eighteen to be trained as a spy. The first thing I said to him was I thought he’d be taller and he just started laughing.

It’s been almost a year since my training started. They told me how to gather information through any means possible. That means torture, persuasion, hell I’ve been told to go as far as marry the target. They also trained me physically. They did the usual military style, lots of exercise and screaming. They trained me to feel nothing and to follow my orders to the point. They made me the perfect little soldier and then they tell me to wait for them to call. Do you know what it’s like waiting for them? Why do you think it took a year? So, I went home and I waited and waited, then I ate something and waited some more. Then they finally call, talk about keeping a guy waiting. The time had come for my skills to be put to use. I was ready for any kind of mission, Russians, Muslims, Chinese, Japanese, anything. Well almost anything. To tell you the truth this was one mission I didn’t see coming.
I get to the president and when I get there he makes me wait. I had to stand in the white house outside his room and all I had for entertainment was his guard. Do you know how hard it is to get those guys to laugh or even crack a smile? It’s Impossible! Half an hour…. An Hour…. Hour and half later I finally get called in. When I enter the president’s room I find the strangest things on his table. He wants me to do what! Are you kidding me? Is that even possible? I fell back on my plan that I use when things like this happen. I WING IT! So, we both head out to the destination that will begin my very interesting mission.
So we get to the secret location and go inside the secret building. Then I get a lecture by all the scientist’s and military advisors. It’s the usually things with the scientist. They don’t know if it will work so there’s a good chance I’m going to die. If it does work there is no way to do it again so I’m stuck once I go in until my mission comes to an end, when it will end is a mystery to them. They did know one thing: every day I spend in there is a year in here. That’s not really a problem if the mission is a success. Then the military advisers give me a lecture: don’t kill anyone on purpose, don’t piss anyone off, don’t tell anyone why I’m there, don’t on any circumstance marry anyone. They filled me of all the information they could get about where I’m going. If they got their information where I think they did then I’m going to have lots of fun. Then they take me to the machine.

It’s a big round metal circle. It looks all scientisy and junk. It even beeps like they do in the movies. They tell me I have enough time to say goodbye before the machine is fully charged. So, I bear hug the president and tell him that if I get kill by this thing then I’m going to haunt him until the day he dies. So the machine charges up and I will put it bluntly: it turns on connects to an invisible line in the wall behind it and widens the crack to let a human through. That is until someone steps into it. I think the first time someone went into it he got turned into a skeleton. They have him in their science room for demonstration. I’m not kidding, there’s a sign on him that say’s THE EFFECT OF GOING THROUGH A UNSTABLE RIFT IN THE UNIVERSE. I wonder if they’ll do that to me if I die. The sign will say DUMB KID WENT THROUGH RIFT AND DIDN’T SURVIVE. THIS WAS ALL HIS FALT NOT OURS. I step up to the portal, look at everyone around me, scream TALLY-HO, and jump through. Ever watch Doctor Who, well going through the portal is kind of like when he time travels but different. I am flying through this vortex one minute and then the next thing I know I slam headfirst into a midnight color creature. Yep, just slammed right into her. Before I can say anything the creature screams and kicks me into the oppose wall and Knocks me out.

My name is josh. I’m a human being that was trained by the government. I was sent through a portal to a place call Equestria and then got my ass handed by a large, colorful, talking pony. I love this bloody job. From this moment you will be seeing my story unfold. HAVE FUN!

First contact

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twilight gets inside my head

I woke up on a couch in castle libraries. Truth be told I was expecting to wake up on the floor of the castle bar. I decided to not question the strange turn of events and sum it up as good luck. I sat up slowly trying my hardest to shake off my terrible hangover from last night. By the way if you have a hangover it’s a terrible idea to shake your head from side to side. It was like someone nail hundreds of hot pins into my head and my tongue felt numb and slightly swollen. It took my minute to realize that I wasn’t the only person is the room or in this case pony. I look to my right and see Princess Celestia sitting in the armchair a foot away from the couch. She was just sitting there and drinking tea. “How are you today, guardian?” she asked calmly.

“Can you not shout?” I asked flinching at the sound of her voice. It was like she was using her royal voice that or the hangover made everything a lot louder. I put my money on the hangover.

“Sorry about that,” She responded dropping her voice to a whisper. “Is this better?”

“Yes it’s wonderful. Not that I’m thrilled to see you or anything but why are you here?” I asked.

“I’m here to see twilight. I got her first report on you already and I’d like to talk to her in person about it.” She said.

“No I mean why are you here in the library watching me sleep and drinking tea?” I asked holding my head in my hands in hopes that it would relieve the massive headache I had.

“Well in twilight’s report she said that you claimed that you adapt to new things by drinking heavily. To be honest I don’t think that is the best way but I was intrigued to see the results of such adaption methods.” She said as she took another sip from her tea cup. I could swear that there was a hint of a smirk on her face.

“Well having a hangover bucking sucks. Wait a sec. How come I said buck? I think I can’t say certain curse words. Buck, Horseapples, son of a diamond dog, for the love of Celestia! Interesting my vocabulary has changed since coming here.” I inquired while trying to think of curse words to say aloud. “Anyway humans usually don’t get hammered to adapt to new places that’s just me.”

“I see; that will be something I talk to twilight about.” She said while getting up and heading to a set of doors. “By the way I think there was somewhere you needed to be right now wasn’t there?”

I slap my hand to my forehead suddenly when I remembered that I have to go get the bill for that “game” last night. “That’s right, thank you princess for reminding me of that. Tell twilight I’ll be back up in a minute.” I started to head for the doors on the other side of the library when Celestia stopped me.

“It’s in the other direction.” She said. I looked at her slightly confused and then shook my head again to clear it up a little.

“Right thanks.” I replied and started heading in the direction she was pointing in.

I took me about five minutes to stumble my way to the bar. Ok I fell on the way down once but luckily the only thing I might have broken was my pride but that’s been dead for a long time so there was no harm done. I step into the bar and it was surprisingly clean. I couldn’t even see any dirt or smell any vomit. It was like no one even had drinks here last night. I make my way up to the bar and ring a bell on the counter. I rang the bell again after a minute then started hitting the bell repeatedly as fast as possible. The bartender came up to the counter eventually and asked me what I wanted. I smile at him even though my headache got even worse from ringing the bell and said, “I am here to pay the bill from last night. You know the drinking game I played here last night with my new friends?”

“Well the winner of the game already paid for it last night.” He said with the lack of enthusiasm. I looked at him like he had gone crazy.

“That’s impossible,” I said sternly. “I was the winner and I know I didn’t pay for the bill last night because I threw up and passed out at the table right after applejack lost.” He looked at my face blankly and said,

“You were not the winner.” I started to get aggravated and asked huffily,

“Well then who did win the drinking game last night?”

“Miss Fluttershy was the last one in the group still awake last night. That means she was the winner.” He claimed. I stared at him for several seconds while my mind tried to process what I was just told.

“Fluttershy was the winner. How is that possible?” I sat into the nearest chair and just stared at the bartender. “It can’t be. I thought she left after the first round. I didn’t even know she was there.”

“She won the game and even had a few cocktails after you passed out. She helped clean up the mess, paid for the bill, took you upstairs, and then helped me take applejack and rainbow dash home.” Said the bartender. I just couldn’t wrap my head around the idea. Fluttershy beat everyone in a drinking game and was sober enough to help clean up; it was impossible.

I thanked the bartender and headed back upstairs. By the time I got back to the library twilight was already in the room. I didn’t see princess Celestia so I guessed that she already left for Canterlot. I went up to twilight and started to say good morning when she gave me a funny look. She covered her nose with one of her hooves and pointed to one of the hallways and said,

“Third door on the right.” I looked at her and wondered what had come over her.

“What are you doing?” I asked her.

“You smell like vomit, alcohol, and shame. You need to take a shower. Just put your clothes in a pile in front of the door and I’ll wash them. Everything you need is already in the bathroom.” She gagged. I headed for the bathroom grumbling that shame doesn’t have a smell.

I walked into the bathroom and took a good look around. It was beautiful inside. Everything was made of crystal and it looked very nice. I took off all my clothes and put them where she told me to. Then I stepped into the tub, if you can call it a tub. There was enough room for several ponies. It even had a showerhead. It was lined up with different settings and I spent the first few minutes testing all of them out until I found one I liked. I turned up the hot water to the point where a fog started to form. I missed hot showers and took my time bathing.

When I was done I turned off the water and stepped out of the tub. I looked around and found a tiny compartment that held a bunch of towels. I put one around my waist and opened the bathroom door to go back to twilight only to find her standing there. The heat of the shower hit her in the face and caused her to back up. “Gez, what were you doing in their cooking yourself. Why is it so hot?” she asked while coughing. I just shrugged and made my way to the library.

“So what are we going to do today?” I asked looking at her, “I really can’t go anywhere without clothes so you can decide what we do.” She didn’t say anything until we reached the library. I took a seat of the couch and was slightly surprised when she sat next to me.

“Well you promised me that today you would spend all day answer questions.” She said while looking around at the books on the shelves. “Actually you promised me and all the others to spend the day doing stuff for them. Tomorrow is Rarity’s day.”

“When did I do that?” I asked.

“Right before me and rarity left last night you pinkie promised to everyone if you lost then you would spend a whole day with each of them to do whatever they wanted.” She said. I decided to try and get out of the problem I got myself into by lying through my teeth.

“I didn’t lose the drinking game so I don’t have to keep the promises.” I claimed proudly. Twilight frowned at me and sighed,

“I know you’re lying. No one wins a drinking game with Fluttershy just ask rainbow dash.” I decided not to push my luck and accept my fate.

“Ok, let’s get started.” I said down casted.

An hour later twilight was running around the library triple checking her triple check list. I had dosed off and she woke me up when she was ready. I’m glad I took the nap at the very least my headache was gone and I was starting to get the feeling back in my tongue. She put some food in front of me that she know I could eat. At this rate it seem like the only thing that was going to kill me in this world is diabetes but I didn’t complain. As I was eating I had a brilliant idea that I believed you make this day go by more smoothly. Unfortunally it would only work if twilight knew the right spell that did what I wanted. I finished the food and then waited for twilight to finish eating her daisy sandwich. As she ate I finalized my plan hoping that it would work. I adjusted the towel around my waist to make sure that it wouldn’t fall off and then put my half-baked plan into action.

“Twilight is it possible for you to get into my head and see my thoughts?” I asked holding my breath and waited for an answer.

She stop eating and sat there with a look of deep concentration. “There are some spells that would let me do it but I need to know what exactly you want. There is a spell that lets me see all your memories and your past.”

“NO!” I shouted jumping up in a panic. I realized my reaction looked bad and sat back down. “Sorry about that. That spell won’t work. Is there a way your conscious can enter mine?”

Twilight looked at me narrowing her eyes. “It is possible.” She said. “It’s considered a dangerous spell and I’ve only done it once. The experience was awkward but that might be because it was pinkie’s mind I entered. There’s always a good chance that the spell could kill me and the other person so I don’t use it often.”

“That spell is perfect. If it can work then I can use it to teach you everything about my kind and the best part is that it would be faster and easier for us.” I said excitedly. I freakin love magic I don’t think I’ll ever learn to survive without it if I get back to earth. Twilight looked at me like I was crazy.

“But…we could die.” She said trying her hardiest to get me to realize how dangerous it was to do the spell.

I looked at her smiling and said, “I know; are we going to did it or sit here all day talking about how it could kill us.” She huffed out a breath in aggravation and mumbled something that sounded a lot like suicidal idiot. After a few minutes if fuming she looked at me and nodded once. We faced each other and after a few seconds twilight’s horn lit up with a purple glow. She leaned toward me stopping with her horn mere inches from my forehead. She look at my face one last time, took a deep breath and closed the distance. As soon as her horn made contact with my forehead the whole room went white and then there was darkness.

I woke up in a soft queen size bed. It was mostly wood with beautifully designs engraved in it. I stretched and rolled over and came nose to nose with a sleeping twilight. I smiled and waited for twilight to awake up. I couldn’t help myself. I learned over the years that the best way to deal with stress and life is to have a little fun in every possible way. I think it was the only reason I never lost my mind over the years on earth then again I had people questioning my sanity my whole life.

It didn’t take long for her to wake up. She opened her eyes and they widen to double the size in surprise. I got ready to have lots of fun but I stopped when she relaxed and didn’t make any move to get up. I started to get worried and wondered if the spell went wrong. “Um…twilight are you ok?” I asked carefully.

She smiled and said, “I’m just happy that I’m not dead.” I started to chuckle lightly at what she said and she looked at me curiously and asked, “What’s so funny?”

I sat up in the bed and looked at her and said, “Well, the thing is we are dead. Our body is dead but our minds are still active.” She looked at me confused so I decided to use the lack of response to explain myself. “When you used the spell our hearts stopped and your subconscious entered my mind. So we are dead but not dead at the same time.”

“But-“

I cut her off and continued to explain more. “One’s mind doesn’t follow the laws of physics and if you try to ‘think’ logically you would burn into nonexistence and then you would really die. Also sorry.”

She looked at me confused and asked, “Sorry for what?” I laid my hands on both sides of her face and kissed her on her mouth. Her eyes bugged out of her head and she started to move backwards and fell off the bed. She started rubbing her hoof over her tongue and yelling at me the whole time.

“WHAT THE BUCK! YOU KISSED ME WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?” I let her yell for several minutes before I decided to explain myself.

“It would be easier if I just show you why I kissed you then just telling you. Just turn around.” She gave me her famous death glare and slowly turned around. Sitting right behind her was the largest timberwolf she ever saw in her life. She screamed and jumped back onto the bed. She looked at the timberwolf and noticed that it looked nothing like a timberwolf. It was large and covered in black fur and it just sat in front of her.

“What is that thing?” she asked getting as close to me as possible.

“It’s called a wolf.” I responded. “I can show you everything about them very soon but first I have to tell you the rules first.” She looked at me and then back in the direction where the wolf was but was surprised when there was nothing there.

“Where did it go?” she asked.

“Let’s me tell you everything about this place and it will make sense.” I told her.

“Ok, but you better have a good reason for kissing me.” She said giving me her glare and moving away from me.

“I didn’t kiss you. It was a subconscious connection that way you can see things in my head. All I need to do was to make physical contact with you but I also need to transfer a trace of me in you, thus the kiss. If I didn’t you would have been killed by the wolf. It protects me from mental invasions and attacks and if I didn’t kiss you it would have torn you apart and your body would just be a husk.”

“So if I die in your head my body would just be an empty vessel?” she asked calmly.

“Yes, your body would still be alive but it wouldn’t be able to do anything. You’ll end up in a mental hospital for the remainder of your life.” I explain to her. “I’ll explain things as we head to the location where I can show you the history of my species.” Twilight just nodded and moved off the bad and headed for the bedroom door. It caught me off guard how calm she was and decided to ask why she wasn’t asking more questioning things and trying to apply logic.

“You seem rather calm. I expected you would react differently. What up?” I said looking at her.

“You told me not to try and explain it with logic and I’ve done this with pinkie pie. Your head is different than her’s so far and I’m just going to do the same thing I do when pinkie does something impossible. Don’t question it.” She said indifferently. “Is there anything else you need to tell me?”

“Yes, right now we are in my ‘room’ and when we leave it then the place will change. Don’t open any doors you see. Especially the one on the end. You understand when we start to move.” I said seriously. She just nodded and move to open the bedroom door with magic. When nothing happened she turned around to look at me. “I guess you can’t use your magic.”

I opened the door for her and we walked through it into a kitchen. There was a human woman around my age cooking something and twilight stopped to look at her. She turned to me and asked, “Who’s the girl?”

I sighed and said, “She’s my fantasy. It’s what I desire most.” At that moment I was interrupted when a little girl came running into the room calling for me.

“Hello my little princess.” I said happily picking the girl up and hugging her. The woman stopped cooking for a minute and joined in on the hug.

“I have to go for a minute but I’ll be right back.” I told them both. A second later they were gone and I went to the front door and opened it. Twilight went through it and I closed it behind me after going through too. We were standing in a beautiful meadow and the weather was the perfect spring day. Warm but not hot and there was not a single cloud in the sky. Twilight looked around in complete wonder of the site.

“It’s beautiful.” She said breathlessly.

She looked across the meadow and saw a door. She was certain that without the subconscious connect she wouldn’t be able to see the door and she would be correct. I head to the door and opened it. I decided to be the lead and held the door open for her to go through. Once through the door, everything looked different. It was a hallway that seemed to go on forever, the walls were made of steel, and there were doors on both sides. I closed the door to my ‘room’ and started walking down the hallway with twilight towing behind me looking at the scene in complete awe.

I passed the first door, but twilight saw that it was slightly open and stuck her head inside to see what she would find. I noticed and pulled her out.

“Don’t go in there!” I shouted. She just looked at me and started to stutter,

“I just… I saw…. It was you but different.” I shook my head in aggravation.

“Yes that was me. All these doors hold a different version of me. That was Antonio. All of them are based off my personality and emotions.” She looked at me with her mouth wide open.

“He was having sex with someone!” She exclaimed. I just shrugged my shoulders.

“He’s lust. We are all separated and are alive. I’m actually just happiness. I was put in the pilot seat so to speak. The main boss is Conner. It’s short for Subconscious.” She got over what she saw and we moved on. As we passed the doors I pointed at the name tags that just happen to show up on the doors that told her who lived inside. She followed my rules and did her best not to get all logical but I was certain that after we leave she was going to be debating everything that happened in my head.

“Don’t they try to fight for who gets control?” she asked suddenly.

I look at her and said, “No we work together to survive. No one wants control because they are happy not to be the one who has to live out the life.”

“Why are you all separated and how come you have control instead of all of you being one being living out your life?” She asked.

“I don’t know why it’s like that. I’ve always been this way for as long as I can remember.” I stated.

I stopped in front of a door and proceeded to open the door. It took a little longer because it was locked so I let twilight sit next to me while I found the right key.

Let me out.

Twilight jumped a little when she heard a voice. She looked to her left to see the hallway ending. It was different than the rest of hallway. The walls were red and it seemed darker. There was a door at the end and just looking at it caused shivers to run all over her body.

Open the door. Free me!

She jumped into the air again when she heard the voice for the second time. It sounded so tempting. The words were like honey. She couldn’t help but to head for the door.

“Got it!” I shout swinging the door I was working on. “Come on twilight, I am going to show you everything about my species.”

She took one last look at the door then turned around and walked in the door I opened. I went through it and closed the door behind me. I gave twilight a few minutes to take in the sight of the room. It was like we were in space. It took her a minute to get use to the lack of gravity. After a few minutes she looked at me and it was clear what she wanted.

“This place has no name.” I explained. “Its location is nowhere and everywhere at the same time. This places has no laws of any kind. We could be in here for what feels like hours and in the real world it be mere seconds that pass by. Here we can see all the different universes. Let me explain with an example. So there is Equestria and its universe. There are an infinite number of alternate versions of Equestria and its universe; one of them you went to through the using a portal mirror. All these different version are all held in a plane. It’s like a piece of square glass. Within seconds I showed her what it looked like. There are different worlds that are all held in planes like this one, pointing at the plane. There’s an infinite number of planes that hold all kinds of different worlds and the different versions. I’ve spent my life looking at the planes and labeling them according to their theme. There’s the DC plane, Full of superheroes. Religion plane, which holds every world’s religion obviously. Now we get to my plane, Earth plane. Here we can watch time revolve from the very beginning of time and see the world change throughout history.” Twilight looked at me her eyes full of wonder and excitement. “Are you ready to start?” I asked her. She nodded her head and I made my move.

“Uni, are you there?” I called out. I turn to twilight. “Uni is short for multi-universe. It’s this place’s nickname. You understand what I mean in a minute.”

Hello child. I see you are back and you brought a friend.

The voice spoke for everywhere. Twilight couldn’t tell where it was coming from in the room. She also couldn’t pinpoint what gender the voice was.
“Nice to hear from you Uni how have you been today?” I asked to thin air.

The same as always. What is it you want to do today?

“I want to show my friend the history of the place I came from.” I stated to the voice.

Ok, it’s the earth plane and you know which version is the one. Have fun you two.

In the blink of an eye we found my world and I started to show twilight everything. It was like watching a movie. We saw the big bang and the creation of the universe. Soon I was showing her the time of the dinosaurs and their life. Every time twilight would ask a question Uni would come and pause the place and explain everything. All I had to do was relax. Uni had just finished explain in great detail about the ice age to twilight when something changed.

“For the love of Celestia can’t you skip to the good parts?” Said a being of pure chaos.

I groan, who else could get inside my head so easily. I turn around and sure to my hunch find none other than Discord sitting in a theater chair with three D classes on and eating popcorn.

“Why are you here?” I spat out through clenched teeth. Discord laughed suddenly and popped up next to me.

“Come on Josh is that any way to say hi to an old friend.” He said. I hiss at the mention of my name.

“My name is Guardian.” Discord just rolled his eyes….in his hands.

“Why are you here in Equestria?” He asked as he knitted what look with a scarf with the universe surrounding me.

“I’m on a mission and it’s none of your business. Now get out of my head.” I said angrily.

“Fine,” he huffed. “I just want you to know that you’ll regret this in the end.” With that said he wrapped the scarf he made around his long neck and opened a door into a desert land and walked out. I turn to twilight thinking of excuses to use to explain what happened but it was like she didn’t even noticed. Discord must have bent the time reality to talk to be without involving twilight. To her it was like blinking which means she saw and heard nothing. After she was done talking to Uni I told her it was time to head back to the real world.

“But can’t we watch a little more?” she whined slightly while giving me the puppy dog eyes. I just shook my head and laughed.

“I promise we can come back again. Now that you know it won’t kill you to get inside my head we can come back. Also since you’ve been here once I won’t have to make another subconscious connection again. So I don’t have to kiss you every time we go here.” I said laughing at the end. She blushed a deep shade of red and looked away.

“Jerk.” That just got me to laugh some more.

We felt the room and I turned to lock the door leaving twilight to sit beside me for a minute.

Come to me twilight…

Twilight was looking at the door at the end of the hallway again. She could hear the voice again. It was not like Uni’s voice it seemed disturbed but she couldn’t explain it too well.

Come to me…

She started to walk toward the door and as she got close it opened on its own.

Come and free me…

She walked up to the entrance and called out into the dark room, “Hello is someone there?”

Come inside and free me NOW!

She walked through the door and took a couple steps inside the dark room. She was straining her eyes to see passed the darkness but still couldn’t see anything. She turned around and started heading for the door when she noticed it started to close itself. “Guardian Help!” She shout as she ran to get out.

I was busy locking the door back up and left twilight to stand near. I was almost done locking up the door when I heard her shout for help. I turn to my right to see what was wrong and saw her in that room and the door was closing. “NO TWILIGHT GET OUT!” I yelled as I ran to stop the door from closing but I was too slow and it closed and locked itself and I couldn’t open it.

Twilight didn’t reach the door in time and it closed before she got out. It was pitch black. This darkness was the evil kind. It was the same kind it darkness that Sombra had and that meant very bad things. She try to get the door open with magic but no matter how hard she try she couldn’t use any kind of magic. She sat in front of the door pleading for Guardian to get her out then she felt a presence behind her. She got off the floor and slowly turned around. At first she couldn’t see anything in the darkness but then it lift like a breeze came through. She was just outside Ponyville and she started to head into town. She was so relieved that she was back in Ponyville or that’s where she thought she was. When she got to the buildings she noticed that they were different. They looked different up close and she noticed that the whole place around her looked different. The buildings were in shambles or completely destroyed. The sky was blood-red and there was no sun, moon, clouds, or stars. The trees were stripped bare of leaves and their bark was burn and twisted. All around the street were bodies. They were disfigured and distorted. Hundreds of ponies that were torn piece by piece laid in the streets. Everywhere she looked there was blood and it looked like the sky. She ran through the town trying to get away from the scene. She made it to the town hall or what was left of it. Most of the building was destroy from some explosion. At the center of town was a human. “Guardian is that you? What…what happened here?” Twilight asked shaking in fear. The Human was kneeling on front of a pony’s disfigured body. Not just any pony’s body; a close look at one of the legs twilight could see a cutie mark. It was her cutie mark.

Free me!

Twilight started to back away from the human and started to think that something wasn’t right. She only took a few steps back when the human got up and turned around. He look like Guardian but was different. His skin was blood-red, he was bigger and had more muscle definition. His eyes were pitch black and he didn’t have any pupils and when he smiled it revealed a row of pointed teeth. She started to scream at the sight of the monster that looked so much like her friend and she turned around to run but before she even took a step forward he appeared in front of her. She was paralyzed with fear and couldn’t move an inch. The monster smiled again and then started to speak.

You came to me. You will free me!

Twilight couldn’t even speak. Her whole body was shaking to the point that she could barely stand. Her heart saw racing as fast that it felt like it was about to burst out of her chest. She could barely breathe and every time she swallowed she could feel a lump in her throat. It just spoke to her without moving its mouth.

Oh you silly little pony. I can taste your fear and I’m going to use it to get free.

Twilight couldn’t even think straight. She could feel it inside her head twisting and turning inside her head. “Guardian…please…help” She whimper.

He isn’t coming for you. He’s abandoned you to die.

The creature’s words pierce through her like a knife. Her knees buckle under her and she fell to the ground. She didn’t move. She couldn’t even if she wanted to. All she could do was cry as it tore through her head. The darkness was starting to come back and surrounding her.

That’s it. Be a good little pony and die! Die so I can be free. Die knowing that your body is mine and I’m going to use it to kill everyone you love!

Twilight brought her body close to her head and cried. Everything was on fire and it hurt so much. He was killing her as slowly as possible.

BEG FOR ME TO KILL YOU! Beg for the end.

She wanted it all to stop.
Twilight…
Twilight…
TWILIGHT!

Hearing someone call her name made her force her eyes open but all she could see was the darkness.

Twilight if you can hear me, it’s Guardian. You have to fight him. FIGHT!

“I can’t” She whimpered.

Yes you can twilight. He’s feeding on your fears and pain. It’s what makes him strong but you can fight him.

“How?” She asked barely whispering.

Love, that’s what makes him weak. Think of the ones you love and use the thoughts of them to make you strong. Use the thoughts of the one’s you love to fight him.

“I’m so scared…please help.”

Just think of those who you love and you can defeat him. I know you can do it.

Twilight closed her eyes and thought of the ones she loved. She thought of her brother, mom, and dad…

What are you doing? Stop! I SAID STOP!

She thought of Cadence and all the times they spent together when she was young…

I SAID STOP! JUST DIE!

She thought of Princess Celetsia and all the nights that she stay up with her. Helping her study and learn…

DIE! JUST FUCKING DIE YOU STUPID PONY!

She thought of all her friends and all the times they spent together…

FREE ME! JUST FUCKING DIE AND FREE ME!

Finally thought of Guardian. She looked back at everything he ever did. Saw how he always seemed so laidback and cracked jokes at every chance he got just to get others to laugh. She could see that it was all a lie. A disguise to hide to pain. The never ending pain caused by the monster in the room with her. She thought of Guardian and promised to always show him love just as much as she loves her friends and family. Promised to never leave him to suffer alone…

NOOOOOO!

A bright light spread into the room and suddenly everything felt better. The door opened and she could sense Guardian running inside and rushing to her. She couldn’t get up everything still hurt and she was so tired but she did it she beat it and now she was safe.

I tried everything to open the door but it wouldn’t open. I know what was going to happen and I had to save twilight. I had to save her from me. I had only one way to reach her now. I got into the lotus position and I reach out to her using my subconscious. I found her and she was not doing well, she was dying. I called her name until she would answer and I told her how to fight. I couldn’t hold the connection for long not with him there. Minutes ticked by as I waited hoping she could fight him and win. She did and the door opened. I rushed inside the room and came up to her body. She was alive but just barely. “Twilight?” I tried to say with the lump in my throat making it hard to talk. “You did it. You beat it.” Twilight painfully looked around the room. Ponyville was gone it was just an empty room made of iron and steel.

“Where did it go?” She asked weakly.

I carefully picked her up into my arms and turned her to see one of walls. He was chained to the wall. Every inch of his body was attached to chains that kept him to the wall. He was smaller than she remembered and looking at him closely he looked weak and old. “He can’t hurt you anymore.” I told her. I turned around and left the room. The door closed and locked itself after I left. I started to head back to my ‘room’ and while I walked I held twilight close to my body to make her feel safe. She was shaking terribly and I know it had nothing to do with being cold.

“What is he?” She asked weakly. I flinched went I heard her talk. I could tell it hurt her just to do that.

“He’s my hate, my bloodlust, everything about me that is bad.” I stated darkly. “Every moment of my life he has been there with me. Tormenting me…”

“I-I’m so sorry.” She said.

I could feel the wetness on my shirt where her face laid. We made it back to my ‘room’ and I took her back to the bedroom. I sat down on the bed and looked at twilight.

“You have to do the spell again to leave. Do you think you can do it?”

“Y-yes I think I can.” She said. Her horn lit up and she brought it to my forehead and the room was filled with a white light.

We woke up back in the library. I was still in a towel and so I went to get my clothes. She had spike lay them out to dry after the wash. I noticed it was a lot darker and when I took a look outside one of the windows and I saw that the moon was out.

I found my clothes and put them on. I then headed back to the library. When I got inside I noticed that twilight wasn’t inside. I started looking around the castle and found her in one of the bathrooms throwing up. I waited her to stop before entering the bathroom. She was a mess and she admitted that she crawled to the bathroom because she was too weak to walk. I started a bath for her and helped her clean up. While I was bathing her I tried to make a joke about how she spent the whole day inside my head but I don’t think she was in a joking mood. I took her back to the library and made her a daisy sandwich and then went and took a shower.

When I got back to the library she was still sitting where I left her. The food I made her laid untouched and when I asked, she said she wasn’t hungry. I picked her up carefully and took her to her room. I went to lay her down on her bed but she wrapped her hoofs around me harder and begged not to leave her alone. I could feel my heart breaking and I couldn’t say no. So I laid down next to her and held her close to my body. She cried herself to sleep and she wasn’t the only one.

The Story, fasion sense, and the promise

I woke up still in twilight’s bed the next morning. I laid in the bed for a minute just thinking of what happened yesterday. I knew that I should feel bad about what happened and part of me did. Hell it caused me to cry and I couldn’t even remember the last time I cried. I just know it was so long ago that I thought I forgot how to cry. Then twilight nearly dies and it was a part of me that almost killed her and for the first time in years I cried. A part of me feels terrible about what happened but ever since it has happened I feel so much at peace.

I look down and find twilight still sleeping next to me. She had buried her face into my chest and her hooves were around my waist slightly crushing my ribs. I tried not to move too much so that she could keep sleeping.
After a few minutes I decided to try and go make breakfast for the both of us. I carefully unwrapped her hooves off my waist and slowly rolled over. Before I could get up and out of the bed I felt cold, hard steel press against my throat. Any normal human would have started freaking out but I was trained to reaction the complete oppose of human beings. So instead of jumping out of the bed and panicking, I laid in the bed calmly and slowly let my eyes follow the blade to see who was wielding it. I noticed the blade was a wing blade, so it was a Pegasus and I have a good feeling who was wielding it. I finished following the blade until I could see the wielder and sure enough it was none other than Storm Kicker. She glared at me and adjusted her wing blade so that I could see them clearly.

“Get up now.” She hissed. I was wondering what her problem was as I got out of bed and moved to where she told me to until I realized why she was acting this way.

“Look it’s not what it looks like.” I said calmly. She looked at me and then flexed her wing blades.

“Give me a reason to use these. I dare you.” She growled. I decided to just let twilight explain.

Storm walked over to twilight and shook her awake. Twilight took a look around the room and then at storm.
“What’s going on Storm?” she asked. Storm walked up to twilight and started inspecting her all over her body.

“Did it hurt you my highness?” She asked with concern. “What did it do to you?” Twilight looked around the room again and then her face lit up as she realized what was going on. She got out of the bed and started to head for me but storm stopped her. Twilight looked at her angrily.

“Storm get out of the way. It’s not what it looks like.”

I started to move forward to help explain but when I took a step forward storm struck me with one of her wing blades. I hissed as the steel cut across my cheek and put my hand over the cut to stop the bleeding.

“You will not move unless you wish to die!” Storm shouted while putting herself between me and twilight. Twilight shoved passed Storm and came up beside me. She then turn to her overprotective bodyguard and scolded her.

“I order you to lower your weapon. You are to go outside and wait until I call you back inside. Then I’ll decide what your punishment will be for your behavior.” Storm glared in my direction and then left the room. Twilight came up next to me and used her magic to make medic pack to appear.

“Let me help you tend to your wound.” She said. I nodded and moved my hand and waited for her to treat my cut.

She looked at my cheek curiously and then said, “I don’t see any cut.”

“Are you sure? I asked, “Can you give me a mirror?” Twilight used her magic to make a mirror appear and I grabbed it and looked at my face. She was right there was no cut but I was certain that Storm cut me. I decided not to question it and move on the making sure twilight was ok.

“So, how are you feeling?” I asked her.

“I’m feeling a lot better. You seem happier. How are you feeling?” She inquired. I smiled and stretched my body happily.

“Last night was the first time in my life that I slept peacefully. My whole life I had nightmares caused by Ra and now he’s too weak to do anything now.”

“Who is Ra?” She asked me as she put the medical pack and mirror up.

“He’s the monster in my head; as you call him. He used up eighteen years of stored darkness energy trying to kill you last night and you were able to beat him. I’m surprised a little.” I stated calmly.

“Oh…yah him.” She said slightly distracted by something she was thinking about.

“You survived the same amount of energy that could wipe out a half a continent. That’s just the coolest thing I’ve ever saw.” I said while smiling at her. My happiness was too much for twilight and she started to smile and chuckle.

“You are acting so weird right now.” She claimed.

“I’m happy! This world’s darkness concentration is so low that it will take months for Ra to store enough energy to give me nightmares.” I said while sitting on the bed.

Twilight sat next to me and asked, “So what is darkness concentration?”

“Well everywhere in the universe there is dark energy. It’s what makes bad things happen and creates evil. Some worlds have more concentration then others and compared to earth’s concentration I would say it this world has twenty; maybe twenty-five percent of dark energy concentration. Earth is drowning in darkness and that’s an understatement. In this world it would take centuries for Ra to gather all the power he lost. At the most he might cause a nightmare every month or so. I’ll show you more about the darkness next time we take a field trip inside my head. That is if you want to?” I finished.

“Of course I want to go back. Nothing is stopping me front learning about your species.” Twilight stated stiffly. That’s twilight for you. No matter what she goes through she always finds a way to move on from it.

“How about I go and buy you breakfast?” I asked her. “That way you can get on to Storm for trying to kill me.” She just sat there laughing at me.

“Ok, fine. Here’s some bits go. Plus you owe me since I was almost killed by a version of you.” She said while laughing. I just rolled my eyes.

“I think a little bit of me go inside your head. Why else would you be able to joke about death so easily.” I said.

“I kind of like that idea a little.” She purred. I raised my eyebrows are her sudden change in personality. I took a good look at her and notice that her body language had completely changed in the brief span of seconds.

“You feeling ok, twilight?” I asked her. She looked at me then shook her head back and forth.

“Sorry about that. I don’t know what happened. Why don’t you go get us breakfast and after we eat you can head off to Rarity’s shop.” I nodded and exited the room.

Twilight called storm into her room and had her sit in front of her. “Guardian is not an it. He’s just like us and would not hurt me an any way. I want you to apologies to him when he returns and promise to stop trying him like a monster.”

Strom looked at twilight angrily, “You want me to trust that thing. Don’t you forget the legion that we were told when we were young? Here’s living proof of it and you just want me to let it near you.”

Twilight let out a sound of aggravation and started pacing around the room. “It was just a story told to us when we were fillies to scare us Storm. Just because he happens to look like the monster in the story doesn’t make him it.”

Storm gaped at twilight in disbelieve. “Are you kidding me? That ‘story’ claimed that when that thing came to our world all the terrible things started to happen. The appearance of the Windigos, Lord Tirek trying to take all our magic the first time, corruption of King Sombra, disappearance of Starswirl the Bearded and soon afterwards the appearance of discord; how about Nightmare Moon. Every time something happened that thing was there. Sombra was friends with it and Starswirl disappeared when he was studying it. Even Princess Celestia thought it was so dangerous that she lock it in a cage under the city of Canterlot. Then you know what happens next…Nightmare moon appears. I heard that Luna was its most liked visitor. Luna spent hours in the same room with it after Celestia locked it up. Most of the guards that had to watch it would go insane just from hear it talking. Ever since it got locked up it would cause things to happen to try and escape. It’s even used our ancestors.”
Twilight shot Storm a pissed look and then kept pacing. Storm ignored her and continue ranting. “There were rumors that stated that the creature helped start the lunar Rebellion a hundred years after Nightmare moon’s banishment. The rumors go as far as saying that it was your ancestor Sunbeam Sparkle was tricked by the creature to help start the war. Then when the rebels used dark magic to make a Luna avatar and attacked Canterlot it used the attack to escape. Then it disappeared and was never seen from again. The only people to talk to the creature were hurt; all except Princess Celestia. Who’s to say that Guardian isn’t the creature coming back to finish off the Princess herself.”

“That’s enough Storm. It was just a story and I order you to drop the matter from now on.” Twilight ordered. Storm did as she was asked and wisely changed the subject.

“Our Heat Cycle is coming up soon. What are you doing to prepare for it?” She asked.

“I have made an arrangement with Doctor Whooves to help me with it this time.” Twilight said. “What about you?”

“Oh, I’m just going to spend the time working out…a lot.” Storm said. “The males in my squad are busy stocking up the safety vault for the Heat Cycle. They should be done before it starts and when it does they are going to lock themselves inside until it’s over.” Storm smirked.

“I doubt that would stop Fluttershy, but they can try to.” Twilight said sadly.

“I think it would be a good idea to tell Guardian about it before it’s too late to.” Storm said.

“No, I think I’ll keep him in the dark just in case I need a plan B.” Twilight said while smiling creepily. Storm just looked at her slightly scared then decided it would be a good idea to leave before twilight got her involved. On the way to the guard barracks she ran into Guardian and upheld her promise to twilight.

“I’m sorry for attacking you and treating you like an enemy.” She said to guardian.

He just nodded at her and made his way up to twilight’s room. Storm almost told him about the Heat Cycle but she decided not to. Twilight might be right; it would be good idea to have a plan B just in case. Then continued to the guard barracks with a smile on her face and a slight skip.

I got back from getting twilight and me breakfast and when I made my way to twilight’s room I ran into Storm. I was expecting her to start threatening me for a minute but was surprised when she apologized for attacking me and treating me like an enemy. All I could do was nod at her and then continued up to twilight’s room. When I made it to her room I just walked in. I really didn’t think I need to knock it wasn’t like she wears clothes and there wouldn’t be a chance she would be angry because technically she’s always naked. Strangely that thought didn’t bother me and I shook my head to clear it. I was getting too use to this place. Twilight was at her desk writing what look like notes. She most likely was writing down everything that happened yesterday and was preparing a report to the Princess. I walked up and place the bag with food next to her notes. I pulled out the pancakes I got for her and then pulled out a hay burger and hay fries. She looked at me confused.

“I thought you couldn’t eat hay burgers and fries?” She asked. I looked up at her and shrugged my shoulders.

“Never really know if I can unless I try. Salads and desserts can’t keep my alive long. If I can stomach this then I might get use to eating it.” Twilight turned and used her magic to levitate a piece of paper and quill.

“Ok, try it out and I’ll write down what you think of it.” She said going into twilight mode.

I shook my head and picked up the burger. I took a look at it closely. It was like a regular hamburger but instead of meat there was hay. I knew twilight wasn’t going to eat until I tried it so without a second thought I took a bite. I chewed slowly and tried to think of a word to describe how it tasted. It wasn’t bad but it was certainly different. After a minute of chewing I swallowed the bite. I looked at twilight and smiled.

“It wasn’t half bad and it seems like I can actually stomach this kind of food.” She started taking notes and eating at the same time. She finished eating first because I was took my time trying to get use to the new type of food. I was happy that I could enjoy the food that they made here but I was also worried a little that I could eat it. Humans shouldn’t be able to eat hay so easily but then again this world is unlike mine and maybe I’m adapting to survive. Wouldn’t be the first time I survived…

When Twilight stopped taking notes I decided to talk to her about going back into my head. “I think we should go back in head only when we both have the whole day off.” I told her.

“I think that’s a good idea. The last thing we need is someone to barge in on us and thing we died.” She said jokingly. I was going to say something back but remembered that I was supposed to go see Rarity about my clothes.

“I have to go. It’s Rarity’s day remember.” I said without any enthusiasm. Twilight looked crestfallen but didn’t try to stop me from leaving.

I left the castle and started walking through Ponyville toward Rarity’s boutique. As I walked I looked at everything around me. The village was small and I guessed that only hundred pony’s lived here. I might have my numbers off a little but it was clear that this place was small and I liked it because it was small. I never like large cities. They always have lots of people and I didn’t like being surrounded by large crowds. When I passed pony’s they would stop and stare at me. I was uncomfortable at first but realized that it was going to happen until they got used to me being here. They stared at me and I stared at them. I’ll stop staring one day and so would they. I reached the boutique and knocked on the front door. It took me a minute to realize it was a store. I opened the door and walked in. There were pony mannequins all around the room. In one corner there was a changing room and right by the door was a table with pictures on it. Some of the pictures were elegant drawings of dress designs and others were drawings made by a child. I could hear somepony moving upstairs and after a few seconds Rarity came downstairs. She come to me slightly out of breath. Her mane was ragged and it looked like she was tired.

“Are you ok, Rarity?” I asked concerned by her appearance.

“I’m fine dear just a little…hot.” She said slightly distracted. “Why don’t we get started?”

She had me start with my shirt. I took it off and handed to her and then sat down on one of the seats at the table. She took the shirt in her hooves and started to examine every detail.

“Is it made of cotton?” She asked. I nodded and she started to look a little worried.

“Cottons hard to come by. It’s even harder to work with.” She said.

“I can used the clothes I have now until you can get what you need to make it.” I said helpfully. She shook her head.

“I couldn’t let you do that. It would be wrong if I didn’t make you something new to wear. I do know some ponies that can use cotton and they do own me a favor.” Just then a door opened and Doctor Whooves walked inside.

“Hello Rarity, do you have my new bow tie ready for me?” The Doctor asked. Rarity put my shirt down on the table and started going up stairs.

“I have it in my room if you want to you can go get it. Just let me show you were my room is. She said strangely. Doctor followed Rarity upstairs and I sat in the chair waiting for them to get back. After a minute I heard something falling down the stairs. I got up and walk to the foot of the stairs to see what it was and almost got ran over by a panicking Doctor.

“Move! I got to go. Whatever you do don’t go upstairs.” He shouted as he ran to the door. “I'll be right back.”

“Where are you going?” I asked him.

“I’m going to catch a cold!” He shouted before opening the front door and leaving. I second later he walked back into the shop. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and put it in his mouth. At that moment Rarity came back downstairs looking slightly dazed.
“Sorry about that Doctor. I lost myself a little.” She said. I looked at the doctor confused.

“What’s going on?” I asked. He looked at me like I lost my mind.

“Don’t you know about the Heat Cycle coming up? I’m prepping my TARDIS so that all the males in this crazy town can go inside and stay safe.” He told me like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“What is a Heat Cycle?” I asked. Doctor looked at me strangely and then started scanning me with is screwdriver.

“That’s odd,” his said seriously. “You’re readings are different. My screwdriver it can’t identify what you are. It always tells me what things are.”

“I’m a human. Your screwdriver probably can’t read me because I don’t belong here.” I said plainly.

“No that’s not it… anyway a Heat Cycle is a time when mares want stallions to mount them till they drop off their feet in exhaustion. You might want to find me when it starts. You might be fine unless Fluttershy finds you then you’re a goner.” The Doctor explained while continuing to scan me.

“Come on how bad can Fluttershy be in heat?” I asked laughing a little at the thought.

“Says the guy who lost a drinking game to her.” Rarity said. I frowned and shut my mouth. The doctor turned to leave again but before he left he looked at me and said,“When the Heat Cycle starts come and find me.”

After he walked out the door I turned to Rarity and find her looking at my shirt again. She took a piece of paper and started drawing a design on it. Within minutes she had drawn a complete copy of my shirt. She turned back to me and said,
“Now I need your pants.”

I looked at her a little scared but did as she asked. I handed her my pants and she made a perfect copy of them too. I was expecting her to hand my clothes back to me but she started moving back upstairs to her room and told me to stay where I was. So, I spent the whole morning sitting in a chair wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts. Around noon she came back downstairs and invited me to have some lunch.

“So, what are you doing?” I asked her as she made us sandwiches and tea. She finished making the food and drinks and started talking about the complexity of clothes making. I tried my best to follow along but most of it came out as nonsense to me. Then she changed the subject and started to tell me about herself. Most of the things she said was something I already know about her. I always said that she happened to be my least favorite character. I didn’t like her simply because she acted a little snobby and high class in the show but now that I got to sit down and really talk to her I realized she wasn’t as bad as I thought. After lunch she went back upstairs saying something about counting the stitch count. After a few hours of sitting I heard the front door open. I looked up and saw a tiny white unicorn filly walking in.She looked to be around ten by my guess. Her mane was a mixture of pink and light purple. She walked into the room and took off her saddle back then turn to me. For a few seconds she stood there just staring at me. Next thing I know she’s in my face bombing me with questions.

“Who are you? What are you? Why are you here? Want to be friends? I’m Sweetie Belle by the way.” She said all in one breathe. I stared at her trying to wrap my head around what just happened. She sat there looking at me and waiting for me to answer her questions.

“I’m Guardian, I’m a human and your sister is looking at my clothes to see if she can make more of them. Do you want me to be friends with you?” I said. She looked at me up and down and frowned.

“Where’s your cutie mark?” She asked while trying to find one on my body.

“I don’t have one.” I said. She started jumping all over the room and shouting at the same.

“You don’t have a cutie mark ether that means you like me and my friends. You can be a Cutie Mark Crusader too! You can come hang out with us and try to get a cutie mark like us.”

“I can’t get a cutie mark.” I told her. She stopped in her tracks and looked at me sadly.

“Why not?” She asked.

“Because my species don’t get cutie marks.” I told her.

“Then how do you find out what you’re special talent is?” She asked.

“Well we usually do things until we find something we are good at and like doing. Sometimes humans know instinctively what their special talent is.” I explained. She hoof on her chin and started thinking about something then her face lit up.

“Well maybe now that you’re here you can get a cutie mark and I want to help you. Would you please hang out with me and my friends and help us get cutie marks.” She sat in front of me with giant puppy dog eyes. I couldn’t resist those green eyes.

“Sure I’ll help you and your friends but I can only do it when I’m not doing anything.” I said while smiling. I can’t fight something so cute. She started jumping up and down in excitement and then sitting down next to me and started drawing pictures. After a minute I started drawing a picture too just do something. The sun was starting to go down when rarity came downstairs. She was levitating my clothes and then handed them to me.

“I’ll be done with a new batch in a week or so. The clothes you have now should hold until then.” She said while eyeing them with disgust. I thanked her and then sweetie belle came up to her and showed her the picture she drew. I looked at it and then at mine and realized that her’s looked better than mine. I turned to leave but I was stopped by Sweetie Belle.

“You promised to come hang out with us.” She asked looking at me with the full force of her puppy dog eyes.

“I promise.” I said to her.
She shook her head and said,“You have to pinkie pie Promise or it won’t count.”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” I said covering my eye at the end. She smile and said goodbye and headed up stairs.

I got back to the castle and made me something to eat. I headed to the library and started looking at the books on the shelves. Twilight came inside and sat in one of the armchairs.

“So, you can pick out a book to read.” She said. I looked at her then at the books and ran my hand across the spines of the books. I stopped at one and pulled it out. The book was very thick and old. The title read: History of Equestria. I showed the book to twilight.

“I think I’ll start with this one.” I said.

She smiled and said,“Good choice.”

She got up and then headed for her room. I waited a few minutes after she left before putting the book back. I moved further down and climbed the ladder to grab a book that was on a higher shelve. Looking around the room again to make sure no one was there I took the book and headed to my room. Once I entered my room I closed the door and made sure I locked it. Then I laid the book on the desk and sat down. I opened the book and started reading it.
The title of the book was The Legion of the Sapien.

Author's Note

Done with this chapter finally. Again thanks to Chengar Qordath for letting me use his character. I do know that the story in this chapter does sound a lot like a couple fanfics but I am not actually using them. This was part of the original story I had in mind. I found out about the other stories later and was surprised, but I'm not changing mine. Honestly I doubt I could even if I wanted to. When I write stories I always have to work for the beginning and somehow I already know how to end it and the middle just comes to me as I type the chapters. This chapter and the one before it ended up a lot longer then I planned. So honesty I have no idea what's going to happen next. If you have a problem with it then just say something. If you like it so far then keep reading to see what happens next. Hint it's pinkie's day next... I think.

I make cupcakes and sonic rainbooms

The next morning I met up with twilight as she was in the library shelving the books. I sat down to watch before I had to go see pinkie for the day. She was busy putting up a book when she asked me a very interesting question.
“Do you have sexual organs Guardian?” She asked. I was so surprised by how calmly she asked that I didn’t answer at first. After a minute sitting in front of her with a surprised look on my face I tried to say something.

“I do, why?” I said. She looked at me and smiled.

“What does it look like? How big can it get?” She said with a slight husky tone. By this point my face was a deep shade of red but decided to answer her for my safety.

“Do you have a book on pony body?” I asked her. She went over to a part of her bookshelf and took a book out and handed to me. I opened the book and went through the pages to find what I was looking for. I found it and was about to show her when I noticed that the page was bookmarked. I showed twilight the page. It was a diagram of a stallion’s… cock? Penis? Whatever she got the point.

“Oh.” Was the only thing she said.

“Why is it bookmarked?” I asked while smirking. She just sat there blushing more than I was a minute ago. I got up and told her I was going to pinkie’s place but she was too busy studying the diagram to hear me.

I walked into the SugerCube corner and almost immediately I was attacked by a pink blur. Pinkie gave me one of her rib crushing hugs and then let me make sure she didn’t actually crush my ribs.

“So, pinkie what are we going to do today?” I asked her happily.

She smiled and said, “We’re going to make super delicious cupcakes!” So we when into the kitchen and started getting everything we needed to make the sweets. I mix the ingredients and told me what to add.

“Flour. Ok now milk. Butter. Mix roughly until its rock hard. Good now throw it into the oven and RIDE MY CANDY EXPRESS TRAIN UNTIL ITS COVERED IN ICING YOU BIG HUNK OF DARK CHOCOLATE.” She said crouching in prancing position. I looked at her angrily.

“My skin color is a perfect shade of tan. I am not dark chocolate.” My sudden outburst distracted her until the cupcakes were done. She stopped laughing enough to try one and nod in approval.

“Well that didn’t take as long as I thought.” She said sadly. Before I could say anything she jumped and said.
“You want to see what I do when I have nothing to do?”

“Sure.” I said quickly. She smiled, grabbed my hand, opened up a portal, and throw me in it.

It looked just like the Multi universe inside my head. Just without the planes of the universes. I looked at pinkie and asked.
“What is this place?” She just started moving around open up portals ever few feet as she moved.

“It’s a place where I can say hi to all the people inside things like games, books, and movies, ect.” She said like it was obvious. I decided not to question how it was possible and just go with it.

“Where first?” I asked her. Her face lit up and she opened up a portal in front of me. I looked at her and then walked into it.

Darth Vader had Luke cornered and was slowly moving toward him with his lightsaber raised.
“Luke I am-“He was cut off when a portal opened up in front him and a human walked out. The human looked at him and then at Luke and started talking.

“Oh my god! Pinkie it’s star wars! You just had me popped into the part when Darth Vader tells Luke he’s his father.” Then the human looked at Luke. “Sorry about your hand.” Luck gave him a funny look. Darth Vader swung his lightsaber at the human. He ducked and the Lightsaber cut off Luke’s hand instead. Before he could swing again pink hooves came out of the portal and dragged the human back inside and the portal closed. Darth Vader turned to look at Luke and saw only empty air.

NOOOOOOO!

“That was awesome pinkie! Can I pick the next place?” I asked while jumping up and down. Or was it down and up? She said yes and I thought of where to go next. I thought of a place and had her show me how to open portals; It was a lot like making cupcakes. I opened up a portal and went through it. I saw a red head with freckles and a girl with bushy hair arguing and I go up to them.

“Ron; Hermione for all that’s sacred I’ve been waiting since book four. JUST START KISSING EACH OTHER ALREADY!” I shouted at them.

At that moment pinkie showed up next to me and whispered, “Guardian this isn’t the right book. We jumped into book six instead of seven.” I looked at the two characters and smiled sheepishly.

“Sorry about that?” we both went through the portal and closed it. I moved a little to my right and opened a new one and walked in.

Harry Potter was staring at Ron and Hermione after realizing that they just did. I popped in between all three of them and looked at Ron and Hermione.

“Hurry up and make out already.” I shouted for the second time.

Next thing I know they’re all pointing wands in my face. I smile and back up to the portal. “Never mind.” Without a further word I went back to pinkie and closed the portal.

“Where to next?” She asked. I smiled and moved to another location.

Me and pinkie pop back into pinkie void, that’s what pinkie calls the place she opens the portals, my clothes were smoking slightly and as soon as she closed the portal I started ranting.
“That’s it! That’s how the divergent series ends! You have to be kidding me that was terrible and so predictable. What’s next?”
A few minutes later we are running across medieval buildings. I was wearing a Templar outfit and pinkie had a pony version of an assassin outfit.

“Do you think that was a good idea?” She asked me as we ran across the roof top.

I looked at the Famous apple that I had in my hand as I ran and said,“Now that I’m thinking about it I don’t think taking this from its previous owner was a very good idea.” I looked at the apple again then throw it behind me. We reached the portal and closed it after going through it. “So that’s how the assassin games were made.” I said laughing. I looked at Pinkie. “Your turn.”

A thug was stealing money from a guy he held at knife point. A shadow came up behind him and then shot out confetti. The thug jumped around and looked down at a pony in a weird outfit.

“Who-who are you?” He asked.
The pony looked at him and said, “I am the batpony.” Then a human in tights fell from the roof. He got up and started trying to fix the spandex around his grouch.

“Who are you?” Asked the thug while looking at the human.

“I’m robin.” He said before turning to the pony next to him. “Can we leave this outfit is suffocating my family makers?”

“Okey dokey!” the pony shouted happily before they walked into to a portal and closed it. The thug just stood in the alleyway completely confused.

I ran through the portal with pinkie on my tail screaming. “Close it quick!” I turned around and did. She turned to me and started laughing.

“Why did you do that?” she asked between gasps.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for ages. He had that coming for as long. Anyone would have died to do what I did.” I told her.

“He was a vampire. Are you crazy?” She asked. I just started laughing.

“I am the only guy who can say he kicked Edward Cullen in the nuts. I think it was worth him trying to kill us. Now come on let’s fix the ending of the fourth book and actually have it end the way I wanted it to and cut out about seventy pages that didn’t need to be there.”

We entered in the realm of Skyrim and grabbed the nearest city guard. Pinkie held him down and I took his bow and arrow. I loaded an arrow and shot it in the guard’s knee. Then pinkie started shouting at him.

“Say it! Say the thing! Say I took an arrow to the knee know.” The guard started freaking out.

“Ok, I took an arrow to the knee. Please let me go demon!” Pinkie let him go and I handed him his bow and we left.

We ran into pinkie void and closed the portal. Pinkie looked at me.
“What did you do this time?” she asked. I blushed.

“I just kissed Raven from the original Teen Titans show. I’ve been wanting to do that for years.”

“Is that why the green one turned into a dinosaur and tried to eat us?” She asked.

“Maybe or because I grabbed Raven’s ass a little before we left.” I said savoring the moment of the memory. Pinkie started laughing. I started to count off something on a list that I pulled out of thin air. Something I learned to do from pinkie.

“Let’s see: made Ron and Hermione kiss, stole the Golden apple, Kicked Edward Cullen in the nuts and then change the fourth book’s ending, shot a guy in the knee with an arrow and had him say a very over used phrase, visited Minecraft, Saved all my favorite characters that died in the Gears of War games, walked in a middle of a pokemon battle and shouted Gotta Catch them all, said hi to Saphira the dragon from my favorite book series, Saved three orphans from a guy with a tattoo of an eye on his ankle, Let pinkie have cake with deadpool, walked in the middle of Cell and Gohan about to perform the world saving/destroy ka-me-ha-me-ha, and finally made out with Raven from Teen Titans.” I finished checking off my list and pinkie told me it was time to go home. I didn’t argue and let her open a portal and walked through it.

It was still bright outside and I turn to pinkie disappointed.
“How come we had to leave? It’s still morning we have all day.” I said slightly hurt. She just started shaking her head.

“It’s tomorrow. You have to go see rainbow dash.” She said. I just looked at her surprised. I decided not to question it and headed to find rainbow dash. I barely took a step forward when pinkie knocked me off my feet and attached something to my shoes. Then she picked me back up and said. “She’s at her house. I put Sky-forged iron on your shoes so you can walk on clouds and not fall to your death.”

“How am I supposed to get into the air?” I asked her. She pointing over to her pedal powered helicopter that wasn’t there before. Then she started skipping down the street.

“Now I got to find Braeburn and get him to ride me like a trail of marshmallows.” She said bubbly as she skipped. I just shook my head and jumped onto the helicopter and started pedaling up and heading to Rainbow’s house.

Sweat was pouring down my body in buckets as I forced myself to keep pedaling. I was just a foot below rainbow’s cloud house and I couldn’t get the helicopter to go any higher. My legs were screaming in protest and I knew I couldn’t keep pedaling. I dropped another foot lower and decided it was time to try the new trick pinkie taught me. I closed my eyes and concentrated on where I wanted to go. I could feel the molecules in my body shifting apart and for a split second I was nothing but scattered atoms. Then my molecules came back together and instead of being on the helicopter I was on Rainbow’s cloud house. I looked long enough to see pinkie’s helicopter still hovering in the air. Then it turned around and headed for Ponyville. I rubbed my temples with two of my fingers trying to stop the headache. Sometimes spending too much time with pinkie hurt the logical part of my brain. I decided to take a minute to look at Rainbow’s house and let my headache fade. It was made from clouds; that’s obvious. It was at least three stories high and a large section was dedicated to just a waterfall of rainbows. This was a mansion in the sky. I walked up to the front door and knocked a couple of times. No one opened the door so I decided to try a window. I walked off the front porch and to a window that was next to the door. It was small but I could fit through it if I squeezed. I tried to open it but was met with resistance. No matter how hard I pulled it refused to open. I was about to give up when I remembered that I could make things move. Within seconds I teleported myself into the house. I was in the dining room area and the kitchen was to the right. Rainbow popped out of the kitchen and said hi. She was wearing leg stockings and her mane was slightly damp. I put my money down that she took a very cold shower.

“So, what are we going to do today rainbow?” I asked her. She just shrugged and moved back into the kitchen. As she turned to go I noticed she was wearing panties. They were a shade of blue a little darker than her coat and it took me a minute to realize I was staring.

“I don’t know hang out or something. Maybe I can show you some of my awesome stunts.” She shouted for the kitchen. I thought that would be cool to do but I need to fix a problem first.

“Where’s your bathroom? I didn’t get to go since yesterday because I spent it with pinkie in the pinkie void.” I said while doing the pee-pee dance. She just looked at me like I was nuts and then pointed down a hallway. I started walking down it and saw that it was like a memorial dedicated to the wonderbolts. She had tickets, outfits, signed pictures of ponies, and even a pair of stadium seats. I’ve never ran into somepony so obsessed. Well except maybe that pony I ran into that like jelly too much. I found the bathroom and stood outside it. The truth was I didn’t need to use it but just wanted to check out the house. Some old habits are hard to kill. I looked a little down the halfway and saw a flight of stairs. I couldn’t help myself and took the stairs.
It led to a bedroom with a nice view. I made sure rainbow was still downstairs and walked into her room. The room was small. There was a queen sized bed in and corner right next to a closet that was slightly opened. Across the room was a bathroom and when I looked inside I saw a couple of magazines on the top of the toilet. They were all Playpony stallions and mares addition. I left the bathroom folding one of the magazines and putting it in my pants. I made a mental note to find a backpack and started to leave. I just passed the closet when a scent came across my nose. I stopped dead and look at the closet. I never even noticed that I’ve been smelling that scent for almost a week now. Every time I was hanging with one of the girls I would smell that same scent and it got stronger every day. Now I could smell it in rainbows house and then next thing I know I’m going inside the closet to find where it was coming from. The answer was a pair of panties right behind a pile of clothes. Before I could stop myself I reached inside trying to grab them. The whole time I’m trying to get Antonio to calm down. He started going crazy when I caught the scent. Now he’s trying to get my body passed a pile of clothes to get to the panties. The only problem was that he never worked a body before and I ended up stuck inside the closet under a mountain of clothes. I got back control while he started cursing about rainbow having so many clothes she doesn’t even wear. It took me a minute to get out and when I did I started talking to myself.

“Well that was so not a good idea. If Rainbow dash walked in on us that would be the most awkward moment of my life. She’s behind us right now isn’t she?” I said and turned around to find that my hunch was correct. I got out of the closet with her panties in my hand.

“It’s not what it looks like.” I told her right before the magazine I grabbed from the bathroom fell out of my pants. She looked at her panties then at the magazine and finally at me and all I could do was smile like an idiot.

Thirty minutes later we’re walking through ponyville. Well Rainbow dash was walking with me right behind her. She was holding a leash in her mouth that was attached to a collar that was around my neck. To make matters worse the collar was spiked and said Property of Rainbow Dash. This was part of my punishment for raiding her room without permission. She let me so a giant seesaw, one end was marked with an X and the other was just a plain piece of square in the ground. I realized it was the same thing from one of the episodes in the show. She looked at me and unlatched the leash for the collar.

“You’re going to help me catch some major air so I can do loads of cool tricks.” She said smirking. I just nodded a climbed the platform where I needed to jump from. I waited until she was in position and took a look down. I backed up a little and ran to the edge.

“Geronimo!” I shouted as I jumped off the platform.

Twilight was writing several notes and enjoying some calming tea. Suddenly there was the sound of an explosion followed by the sound of a ton of glass shattering around the castle. She shrieked and her tea cup exploded. She started running to the nearest window and looked outside to see what was going on. She could see a sonic rainboom halo followed by at least a dozen others all heading straight up into the sky. She ran to the origin of the first rainboom to find Guardian lying on the ground.

“What happened here?” She asked Guardian. He looked at her all funny.

“What?” He asked.

“What happened?” She shouted. He just nodded.

“Rainbow…helped catch air…. Loud booming….can’t hear too well.” He passed out and twilight started slapping him to wake up. After a minute he woke up and jumped to his feet.

“Man I feel good! Do I looked okay, twilight?” I asked after waking up. She looked me up and down.

“You’re missing your eyebrows.” She deadpanned.

I grabbed a piece of broken glass and looked at my reflection Sure enough my eyebrows were missing.
“That sucks they just grew back from the last time I lost them” I said sadly. I tossed the piece of glass to the ground and picked up twilight and started walking to the hospital down the road.

“Do you feel like we forgot about something?” I asked her as we walked through shattered pieces of glass and away from the trail of Sonic Rainbooms. Twilight was blushing for some reason and didn’t say anything. I just shrugged and headed to the hospital to check my ears….

Author's Note

I REGRET NOTHING!

A Hard Days Work.

I felt the castle before the sun rose up for the day. I didn’t want to risk running into twilight today. I knew that I had to spend the day with applejack so I headed slowly for Sweet Apples Acre. As I walked I thought about everything that happened yesterday.

I headed for the hospital while carrying twilight in my arms. She was surprisingly dense. You think the way her body looked it, all small and soft, she wouldn’t be so heavy. I guess I didn’t notice how heavy she was last time I was holding her but now I could. Luckily I could handle it and kept walking without any problems. I put her down as we walked in and I came up to the first nurse I saw.

“I need to see a doctor about my hearing.” I said probably a little too loudly. The nurse jumped into the air a little and twilight gave me a dirty look. She went up to the nurse and they started talking. I decided to let her do the talking and sat in the nearest chair. After a few minutes twilight came up to me and told me to follow her.

We went up a pair of stairs and the nurse told me to go in a room. I walked in and sat down in the nearest bed. The room was just like any other room in a hospital. The walls were white, there was a clock on the wall above the door that made an annoying ticking sound, and a small night stand right next to the bed.
A unicorn walked in the room and came up to me. He asked what was wrong and I told him I hurt my ears. I must have still been a little too loud because he flinched and turned to twilight. They started talking about something and then the doctor turned around and left the room. I guess he went to go get something and I decided to have a talk with twilight.

“So was that the coolest thing you ever seen?” I asked her talking about the sonic rainbooms.

“That stunt broke every window in Ponyville and the china tea set I got from the princess.” She said a little aggravated. “Nice collar by the way.”

I looked down and realized that I was still wearing the collar rainbow put on me. I expected her to have gotten really angry when she caught me snooping in her room. Next thing I know she is putting a collar around my neck and dragging me out of her house and into town. I would have stopped her but I was a little busy with a different version of me trying to get out. At first I thought the whole collar thing was a joke. I thought she was going to make me do tricks in front of every pony but now I think the whole collar thing was more of her being kinky then her playing a joke. Maybe it was both. Then I started thinking about the trick she had me help her with. It was meant to launch her into the air with enough speed to do a ton of flips and stuff but how come she didn’t account for mass and gravity. That’s when it hit me, she did. Rainbow may not like learning things but she was a gifted flyer and she would have been really good at judging all kinds of measurements. She probably doesn’t even know she is making the measurements because to her it’s natural and just happens as she flies. It would explain why she could fly so well when she seems like the last pony in this world to sit down and learn how it works. For her it was natural.

“It was just some kind of prank.” I said while taking the collar off and placing it on nightstand. Twilight stared at me angrily and I prepared myself mentally for the onslaught of lectures she was about to start saying. The door to the room opened at that moment and the doctor came back. He came up to me and started checking my ears for damage. I was glad he did show up saved me the pain of hearing twilight complain about how dumb I was. The door opened again and a nurse came inside the room. She was wheeling a patient with her and I caught a glimpse of a rainbow mane before she was wheeled out of my eyesight. Twilight walked over to where they put rainbow and I could hear them talking. I guess if rainbow could talk that was good news. A minute later twilight came back.

“So how’s rainbow?” I asked her flinching as the doctor shoved something in my ear.

“She’s not injured too badly, she can’t fly for a few weeks but other than that she’s fine.” She said somewhat distant. Then I could hear rainbow talking.
“That was so awesome!”

I started to smile but then realized what twilight just said about her wings.

“Fuck!” I hissed. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her. “I was supposed to be a harmless joke.” Twilight stared at me.

“What did you just say?” She said. I was wondering if she was the one who needed her ears checked.

“I said it was supposed to be a harmless joke.” I repeated. She started shaking her head.

“No before that you said a weird word.” She said. It took me a minute to catch on to what she meant. I had said fuck instead of buck.

“That’s weird.” I murmured to myself.

“I thought you couldn’t say curse words from your world.” Twilight said while trying to take notes. “That’s is very interesting. One day you couldn’t say earth curse words but now you can.”

I decided to change the subject before she started going all scientist on me. The doctor finished looking at my ears and said that they were fine. I was glad that twilight was too busy to hear him say that because it would have caused her to ask more questions. I got out of the bed and move to where they had rainbow dash. When I found her they were binding her wings in bandages. She looked more bored then me. I gave her back the collar and told her jokingly to keep it close. I made sure twilight wasn’t look before slipping out of the room. I snuck out of the hospital and started walking through the town. I needed to get away for a little while so I just started walking and didn’t really pay attention to where I was heading. Before I know it I was walking close to Sweet Apple Acres. Deciding that I didn’t want to run into applejack I veered off the path and started walking through the wilderness. Eventually I walked into an open area with a tree house in the middle.

The tree house looked just like the tree house in the show. It looked empty so I climbed up to it and went inside. It wasn’t built for someone with my height but I didn’t care. I sat on the wood floor and closed my eyes; within minutes I fell asleep.
I don’t know how long I was asleep but that’s how I was when scootaloo found me. I woke up with her poking me in the side with a stick. I get her a tired look and fell back to sleep. When I woke up it was dark. I must have slept throughout the day. I tried to get up but stopped when I felt something on my stomach. I look down and see an orange filly with purple hair sleeping in me. In most cases I would get a little angry but she was just a kid so I didn’t really mind. I started to shake her lightly to get her to wake up. When I got her to open her eyes she looked at me and then moved off my body.

“Sorry you were softer then the floor….and warmer.” She said shyly. I frowned and sat up.

“Why are you sleeping here? Don’t you have somewhere to sleep?” I asked her. She just looked at the ground and started sniffing. I realized she was crying and felt like an ass. I picked her up and laid her close to my chest.

“Sorry about that. I didn’t know.” I said trying my best to keep her warm. She looked at me with sad purple eyes.

“It’s ok. I don’t like sleeping at the orphanage it’s always crowded. I sleep here when I can’t sleep at sweetie belle’s or applebloom’s house." I looked at her sadly.

“I know what it’s like.” I said looking at her.

“Have you been an orphan?” She asked quietly. I just sat there and nodded.

“Twice.”

She didn’t say anything after that for a few minutes. I had an idea but I didn’t know if twilight would like it if she found out. Then again I didn’t really care what she would think at this moment.

“Do you want to sleep in my room tonight?” I asked scootaloo. She stared at me and started to smile.

“Do you mean it?” she asked excitement building up in her voice. I nodded and she started hugging me.

“So, let’s make a deal. Whenever you don’t have a place to sleep you come to the castle and ask for me.” I told her as I got up. She agreed and I made my way back to the castle carrying her the way there.

I walked into my room and closed the door with my foot. I laid scootaloo down on the bed and tucked her under the sheets. I was about to leave when she stopped me.

“Can you sing me to sleep please?” She pleaded. I didn’t have it in my heart to say no so I kneeled down and closed my eyes. I thought of a song that was like a lullaby and when I found my favorite one I started to sing. I’m not a good sing but I wasn’t bad ether. About halfway through the song I could see her closing her eyes. I finished the other half of the song and kissed her on her forehead. I made sure I was quiet leaving and headed for the library. I really wasn’t tired so I stayed up the rest of the night reading books in the library.

I stopped when I was in front of the barn. I looked around the area and catch sight of applejack busy bucking trees that were close to a pond. I walked up to her and waited for her to be done with the tree she was working on. When she got all the apples into the basket she had with her I decided to say something.

“So what are you going to have me do today AJ?” I asked her while picking up an apple from the ground and taking a bite from it. I was the freshest fruit I’ve ever had. Never had an apple that good back on earth.

“Can I ask you a question Guardian?” She asked while moving to buck another tree full of apples. I just nodded and helped pick up any apples that fell to the ground and put them in the basket.

“Do you fancy the kids here?” She asked while looking at me in the eye. I paused for a sec and thought the question over in my mind. I wanted to be careful answering her I had the feeling if I said the wrong thing then I would be in trouble.

“I’m not sure what you mean by that AJ.”I said. She looked at me and then behind her. I looked to see what she was looking at and could see a little filly playing with a pig by the barn. She turned back to me.

“Rarity tells me that her sister hasn’t stop talking about you since the day she met you. Then late last night I caught you carrying Scootaloo back to twilight’s castle. I just want to make sure you are some filly pedophile.” She deadpanned. I was a little taken back by how straight she was to me.

“Do you guys have ponies like that here?” I asked frowning a little at the thought of some pony trying to harm children.

“Not often. Some get caught every now and then but there ain’t a lot of folks like that. I just want to make sure that I can trust you with my sister if I ask you too.” She said while going back to bucking the trees.

“Well it would be no problem for me to watch applebloom or her friends when you and the girls go on some crazy save somepony trip.” I told her while going up to a tree and picking the apples of the branches.

“I would appreciate that. Look when the Heat Cycle starts me and rarity are going to send applebloom and sweetie belle to the Doctor guy and have them stay in his blue box with the other male stallions. I don’t know if you are going to take Scootaloo too but if you are going there can you watch them for us?” She asked with a look of worry on her face.

“You’re telling me it hasn’t already. What do you can how ponies been acting now… a warm up?” I asked slightly in shock that after all that’s happened the heat cycle hasn’t even started. Applejack just kept bucking the tree and didn’t say anything. I took her silence as a yes.

“So how many days are in a week?” I asked.

“A week is seven days. Monday through Sunday.” She replied back.

“Cool that’s how it is back at earth. What day is it?” I said while moving to a new tree.

“Well you dropped in on Luna Monday night, woke up Tuesday morning, spent Wednesday with twilight, Thursday with Rarity, Friday with Pinkie, Saturday with rainbow, and now you working with me on Sunday.” She said. So I’ve been here a week. That’s about seven years on earth.

Applejack left me alone to finish the section that she started. I was busy picking apples from the trees for most of the day. The sun made things a little hard with it being so hot. I had taken a break and was sitting under the shade up one of the trees when I saw applebloom sitting in front in me. She was staring at me the whole time without saying a single word.

“So what you doing little one?” I asked her in hopes of starting a conversation. She continued to sit in front of me and staring at me.

“I thought you would be bigger.” She said suddenly. I looked at her confused.

“Why would you think that?” I asked her.

“Sweetie belle has been telling me and scoots all week about you.” She said with a bored look. “Are you really going to help us get cutie marks?” She asked. I just smiled and shook my head. She got up and started to leave. I decided to get back to work in hopes that there would be food at the end of the day. I caught applebloom looking at me as I turned to face the tree. I could have sworn she made a comment it sounded a lot like:
“Don’t know what she was talking about. He’s plot doesn’t look that good.” I just decided to not investigate if that’s what she said and got back to picking the apples off the trees.

I finished hulling the baskets full of apples in the farm when applejack came up to me. “So I was thinking you deserve something nice and hot for helping around the farm today.” She said kindly. I didn’t argue and let her lead me to the house right by the barn. I thought that I was done working for the day but when I walked into the house applejack lead me to the kitchen and had me make my meal. It took a couple of attempts to make an edible apple pie. Applejack told me to just sit down and wait while she finished with the rest of the food. I did warn her I couldn’t cook well but she insisted I make my own food.

I ate the whole apple pie while I waited for the rest of the meal. Applebloom walked into the room a minute later and asked if I would like to play some board games while I waited. Thus for the next thirty minutes I struggled to learn pony board games. On the bright side applebloom warmed up to me and wasn’t so distant with me. By the time Applejack was done fixing the food the sun had gone down and I had a full life story of applebloom. I was very interested in the Zebra in the everfree forest that could make all kinds of potions. That could be something I would like to do.

Granny smith and Big Mac made the table and we all ate dinner together. Big Mac didn’t really talk and I wished that Granny smith didn’t say some of the stuff she said while I was eating. There are some images in my mind I wish I could erase. I really didn’t need to imagine granny smith banging days while eating and applejack didn’t want to ether. Applebloom had no idea what was going on and kept asking me why I started to choke on the food I was eating. Applejack gave me a look that kept my mouth shut so I didn’t get the chance to tell applebloom the beauty of birds and the bees. I wonder if that’s what they call it.

I started to walk back to the castle after eating and promising applebloom to come hang out with her and the girls when I had the time. I walked into my room and was a little surprised to find Scootaloo sitting on my bed reading a book. She heard me walk in and looked at me shyly.
“Sorry, I wanted to sleep here again.” She said trying to give me one of her innocent smiles.

“You take a bath already?” I asked her trying to sound like a parent but that only made her laugh.

“No.” She said. I picked her up and took her to the nearest bathroom.

“If you take a bath I’ll let you spend the night in my room.” I told her. She just nodded and walked into the bathroom. I started to follow her but stopped when I remembered what applejack said to me earlier today. “I’ll just be outside if you need me.” I told her before closing the door.

After Scootaloo was done taking a bath I took her to the kitchen for cookies and milk. Then we went to my room. I tucked her inside the bed and started to leave but she stopped me.

“Could you read me a bedtime story?” She asked while giving me puppy dog eyes. I had a feeling that she was just liked how fatherly I was acting around her. She wasn’t the type of pony to be all sentimental but I started to think she just acted like she didn’t care to hide the pain of having no one. I picked up the book she was reading earlier. It looked like a book for her age group so I opened it up and started to read the story to her. She was out like a light halfway through the story and I bookmarked it for her and put it on my desk. I made sure she was comfortable before kissing her on the forehead and heading to the library. I spent the rest of the night reading just like last night. This time most of the books I was reading was about magic.

My day with Fluttershy

I always hated Mondays back on earth. Every Monday brought work and stress that I tried to get rid of over the weekend. My first Monday in this world led to me getting kicked in the face by a moon goddess. I thought that since I was in a new world that would mean that Mondays would be better. I was wrong, I woke up Monday morning when an earth pony with a bow tie shook me awake and was shouting my name in a harsh whisper.

“Come on wake up. We don’t have long before one of them finds us.” I woke up with a start and shoved the pony away from my face.

“What the hell are you doing here Doctor?” I said angrily. He started to head for the front door and urging me to follow him.
“Come on we have to leave while we can.”

“What is going on?” I asked while getting off the couch.

“The heat cycle started. I took care of twilight but we got to get to my TARDIS before Fluttershy finds us.” I started to follow him but then remembered about Scootaloo.

“I got to get someone…pony. I’ll be right back.” I said while I headed for the stairs. The doctor started pacing the room then moved to the front door to keep watch. I ran up the stairs as quietly as I could. As I passed twilight’s room I could her moaning and what sounded a lot like the Doctor’s sonic screwdriver. I made it to my room and went inside. Scootaloo was still sleeping in my bed so I went up to her and picked her up carefully. She stirred slightly in my arms and started to say something in her sleep but I was too busy going back downstairs to hear what she muttered.

when I got back to the bottom of the staircase; I could see Time Turner prancing and place and beckoning me to hurry up. I came up to him and let him lead the way to his time machine.

“Since when do you let fillies sleep in your room?” He asked as we walked.

“Better my room then where I found her sleeping.” I said bluntly. He was smart enough not to push it and moved to the lead and took me to his TARDIS.

When we go to his time machine I realized it looked just like a police box. He opened the door and let me go inside and when I did I almost walked over a stallion. The whole place was filled with stallions of all kinds. I thought he was kidding when he told me that just about every stallion in town was coming to stay here. I know that twilight’s guards were spending their time in the panic vault but this was ridicules. Futtershy couldn’t be this bad could she? By this time Scootaloo had woken up and was looking around the room. She spotted Sweetie belle and Applebloom first and pointed to where they were sitting.

I set her next to them and moved to where the doctor was. He was busy talking to the control panel, sadly it’s not the weirdest thing I’ve seen a guy do.

“So what are we going to do?”

“We are going to stay in my TARDIS until this thing blows over. She really doesn’t like having so many guys inside her.”

“Yah I bet she’s never had this many guys inside of her before.” I said jokingly. The TARDIS lurched to one side and it caused me to fall to the ground.

“I don’t think she likes you making those kinds of jokes.” The doctor said while petting the control panel again. I got back up and made sure the girls were ok. I was about to start talking to the doctor again when I heard a Pegasus pony say something.

“There’s a stray outside and Fluttershy found him!” Ponies all around the room start talking among themselves. They all said how the pony outside was a goner but no one was making a move to save him. I moved to look through a window at the door and could make out Fluttershy just outside slowly walking up to a unicorn and he looked scared out of his wits.

“Can’t we just open the doors and let him in?” I asked the doctor. He just started shaking his head sadly.

“Maybe I should do it. I bet your TARDIS will feel so much better with someone so big out of her” I said sarcastically. The TARDIS lurched again and the doors opened and I was thrown outside. I walked up to the police box and tried to open the doors but they stayed closed. I turned around and saw Fluttershy staring at me. She stopped walking toward the unicorn and sat in front of me.
“Hey Flutters you know I’m supposed to spend the day with you today.” I said. She smiled sweetly and moved a little closer to me.

“I like that idea. What do you want to do?”

“Why don’t we go back to your cottage and have tea.” I told her while moving in the direction of where she lived. She got up and let me lead the way to her house.

We walked into the cottage and I headed for her kitchen. Within a few minutes I have two hot cups of herbal tea made and gave one to Fluttershy. She moved to the living room and I sat in a chair that was placed in the middle of the room. I took a sip of the tea and savored the takes of the tea then something knocked me out from behind.

I woke up with a tiny white bunny tying a knot to a set of ropes that was around my chest.

“You knocked me out you little rodent.” I hissed while thinking of all the ways to cook rabbit. He just made a hand gesture and moved out of the room. It took me a minute to realize that he shot me a bird and I struggled to get up and kick him. I couldn't move my feet or my arms so I guess they were tied to the chair. I could hear someone just behind me but I couldn’t look behind me to see who it was. A second later Fluttershy walked in front of me.

“Hey Flutters. Your crazy bunny tied me up. Can you see what you can do to get me out?” I said but I really didn’t like the way she was looking at me. She looked me dead in the eyes and moved closer so that her eyes were all I could see.

“Can you do me a favor and mount me if I do.” She commanded. A few seconds when by and I just started to laugh. She took a step back shocked.

“How can you resist my stare?”

I just kept laughing. She waited until I was done before talking again.

“I guess I’ll have to do this the hard way.” She said huskily. She moves back a little and knocked me unconscious.

When I woke up I was still tied to the chair but this time I was wearing nothing but my boxer shorts and Fluttershy was trying her best to use her hoof to get them off. After a couple of failed attempts she tried pulling them off with her teeth. I jumped back when I felt her touching bare skin.

“Can you not do that! I would like to keep my manhood in one piece.” I shout at her. She moved back and stomped the ground angrily.

“I can’t it off and it’s hiding your penis!” She whined. I just looked at her and started to think that the Doctor might have been a little right about her being a threat.

“Well I guess you will have to make it come out.” I said in hopes that she might give up and let me go. She just smiled devilishly.

“I guess I will.” She said moving to the point where she was next to my ear. “I always like a challenge.” I could feel a shiver go down my back and I gulped. This was going to be a long day.

“Runt me.”

“No.”

“Please runt me”

No!”

“You know you want to.”

“No I do not!”

This back in forth game has been going on for what feels like hours. She would ask I would respond. It would a lot easier if I wasn’t tied to a chair and she wasn’t rubbing my leg or doing some other seductive trick.

“Are you done nibbling at my ear yet?”

“Are you horny and going to mount me?”

“No.”

“Then nether am I.”

At first I thought it was funny and maybe a little cute. Now I just wish she give up and let me leave. Honestly if it weren’t for the fact that my sex drive is literally some seperate guy in my head I would have given in by now. Thankfully Antonio had found a way to burn off all the sexual energy being thrusted at me. All I have to do is not get horny. Easier said than done. Its one thing not to think horny another to stop your body from reacting. Never know biology would be my worst enemy. Fluttershy decided at that moment to stop nibbling and just flat out start clopping herself on top of me. Every time she moaned in my ear I would get a shiver go down my back and several things would happen at once. Antonio would increase the speed when banging one of his fantasies while at the same time making new ones, I would clear my head the best I could, and then think of the fattest and ugliest girl I could and imagine her naked. The things I do to avoid boners. After a while she stopped and got off of me and went into the other room. I tried my best to stay awake but I just couldn’t do it. I passed out just as that stupid bunny walked in the room and I could swear he was laughing at me.
Thankfully I had a dreamless sleep on the other hand I didn’t like where I woke up. Good news was I wasn’t in the chair and I could move my arms and legs. The bad news I was in some kind of harness and my arms and legs were just off the ground. I couldn’t really remember what this kind of thing was because I wasn’t into it but I did know what it involve. The gag ball in my mouth gave it away a little and the reason I woke up was because something just hit my ass. Sadly the first question I wondered was where Fluttershy got this stuff. The harness was clearly made for a stallion. A very large stallion. She didn’t say but she didn’t need to. The whips did the talking for her and she wasn’t stopping anytime soon.

She quit eventually but left me hanging literally. Before she quit she took out the gag ball that way my jaw wouldn’t be sore. Of course she did say I would need it later but I tried not to dwell on that thought. I hurt everywhere and the worst part was I was starting to like it. I looked up after a few minute to see the bunny was still in the room and he was just watching the whole time. I couldn’t really tell when Fluttershy was trying out the various whips but I’m certain that bunny was getting off watching. I made a mental note to kick him to the Everfree forest. Fluttershy eventually came back; she takes a lot of breaks when doing this kind of thing. When she was close enough to me I decided to say something.

“You know I enjoy fluffy handcuffs and playboy outfits better.” I said with a laugh. She just started to smile.

“Oh, really…” I stopped laughing and frowned. Me and my big mouth.

I woke up tied to a bed. Guess that meant she didn’t have fluffy handcuffs that fit me. My hands were tied to the bed posts and my legs were in the same spread position. A quick check insured that I was still wearing boxer shorts now all I had to do was wait.
I didn’t have to wait long for her to show up. She was in a very interesting outfit that probably made me very, very excited if I wasn’t trying not to get horny as hell. She would try different tricks and outfits to see if I would break. If I resisted she would change into something new. This game went on for a long time and after a while I was finding it hard to think straight. I had a headache, was covered in sweat, and I think Antonio was running out of ideas to burn of energy. I finally lost it when she pulled out the French maid outfit.

“SWEET JESUS I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! FINE I GIVE IN! GET YOUR HOT ASS OVER HERE AND LET ME FUCK YOU!”

“YAY!”

Her saying that only made me lose whatever self-control I had left.

She was so excited she made a jump onto the bed. She overshoot the distance and flew head first into the head board and knocked herself out. I didn’t know whether to praise the universe or curse so I did both.

“Thank god!”

“Fuck I was this close to losing my virginity!”

“I thought I was done for.”

“So fucking close to getting laid.”

“Will you shut up Antonio?”

“Will you hurry up and fuck someone already?”

I was about to continue the argument I was having with myself but stopped when I saw the bedroom door open.

“So help me bunny if that’s you coming in to get off on Fluttershy tormenting me again I’ll kill you.”

A second latter two stallions walked into the room and headed for me. It was the Doctor and Big mac and I couldn’t be any happier to see them. Big Mac watched the door while the Doctor used his screwdriver to get me out of the ropes. After the ropes where off I got out of the bed and tried to walk. It took a couple attempts but I was able to get out of the room with the doctor following behind me. I found my clothes by the chair and put them on and then headed out the door. The Doctor took the lead and started heading toward the town.

“Thanks for saving me back there. You have no idea what kind of day I just had.” I said gratefully as I walked. The Doctor stopped walking and turned to look at me.

“Guardian, it’s been two weeks since Fluttershy got you. It’s just now safe enough to go outside. Me and Big Mac risked everything to get you.” He said looking at me like I lost my mind. I was about to make a comment when I realized we were missing a pony.

“Where’s Big Mac?”

“He stayed behind to hold off Fluttershy. That brave soul, I’m going to miss him.” The doctor replied continuing to walk through the town. “The TARDIS got so restless she teleported us inside the castle panic vault and kicked everypony out. Then at the Climax of the Heat Cycle pinkie pie somehow go inside and started demanding stallions to mount her. Braeburn opened up the door to the vault, got her attention, and then bolted outside. She chased after him and we haven’t seen or heard him since then. We got about a week left of the Heat Cycle and we’re going to the vault to spend the rest of it there.” I didn’t argue and we continued to head to the castle.

“So what’s the news of the others in the mane six?”

“Well Fluttershy is busy with Big Mac, Braeburn is probably doing Pinkie, rainbow is still at the hospital and the doctors have her strapped down, Rarity is busy making your clothes, Applejack Is bucking the whole acre of apple trees, and Twilight is currently thinking of a way to punish me for stealing my sonic screwdriver back from her. That’s about it.”

“What about the three fillies I was watching two weeks ago?”

“Big Mac was watching them before we left so they should be find for now. Warning though the Heat Cycle effects stallions too, so you might be in trouble soon.”

“Wonderful.”

We made it to the vault without running into any trouble. The Doctor knocked on the door a few times and took a step back and waited for somepony to open it from the inside. Thankfully it opened after a few seconds and I took a step forward to go inside. I turned around to thank the Doctor but found that he was slowly being dragged up the stairs by a purple telekinesis. I was too slow to grab him and he disappeared upstairs, a second later hooves grabbed me and dragged me into the vault. Then the door closed.
I looked around the room to find it packed with stallions. This vault was not meant for this many ponies and a human but that was the least of my problems. I started to move through the crowd hoping to find the three fillies I promised to watch out for. I found them near the back next to a stallion pleasuring himself. That at least explained the smell of sex in the room. I started to walk up to them but they saw my on the way and ran up to me.

“You’re ok!” Sweetie belle shouted while jumping into the air into my open arms. I gathered all three of them into my arms and started checking to see if they were hurt. They looked ok and I carried them all back to where they were earlier. I sat down and laid them on the side that didn’t have a stallion beating his meat. Sweetie belle looked over at the stallion with a confused look on her face.

“What’s he doing?” I didn’t know what to say. This was something that Rarity needed to talk to her about or maybe her friends. Scootaloo turned to sweetie belle and whispered in her ear. She started to look even more confused.

“I don’t get it.”

Appebloom was the next to try and get Sweetie belle to understand. She turned to her and started whispering in her ear. After a few minutes she stopped but Sweetie belle still looked confused. She turned to me and started to whine.

“I still don’t understand. Guardian can you please just tell me what that guy is doing.”

I sighed and gathered the girls in my arms. If I was going to have this discussion with these girls I was going to move somewhere more private and with less stallions. The other reason I moved become clear a few seconds later when I hear a guy start shouting.

“Hey man learn how to aim you got it all on my coat!”

Once I found place that wasn’t packed with stallions I placed the girls on the ground and had them face me. If I was going to have this conversation with one of them they all would have to hear it. So I spent the next hour, I think it was an hour, telling all of them about the birds and bees or maybe it would be called the mares and stallions. When I finished I took a long look at all of them. Sweetie belle was blushing a deep shade of red, Scootaloo was busy gaging and making disgusted faces, and Applebloom looked bored. I guess this stuff was old news for her. No surprise since she lived with Granny Smith. I made sure that they ate something when food was passed around for the day and staid up to guard them when they fell asleep. I made their safety my number one priority. First thing I wanted to do when they woke up was find a pony who could make me a backpack. Hopefully we all can survive a week in this place without anything happening.

I couldn’t find a pony to make a backpack for me. It was easy to find a pony who could but they asked for too much in return. There was no way I was going to give them my left hand for thirty minutes. In the end I just pulled one out of nowhere using pinkie logic: you can find everything you want from nothing. I made sure no pony was looking when I did it because the last thing I need was them all asking me to get them lotion or something. Now that I had a backpack I could move more often. I just made sure to put two of the girls in it and carried the third while we moved. I don’t know how long we were in the vault but after a while the ground got too messy for the girls to walk around on. The last thing I needed was sweetie belle or applebloom going to their sisters covered in stallion sperm. After a while it got hard for me to avoid the growing puddles and to make matters worse I had to keep the girls from messing with the puddles once I found a somewhat empty section in the vault.

“Scootaloo what did I tell you. Stop trying to taste that stuff.” I said sternly while picking her up and moving her away from a puddle for the third time today. I turn around and find Applebloom sniffing a puddle a little ways away. I rushed over to her and picked her up too. “Can you guys not mess with that stuff please?” I walked back to where I left Sweetie Belle before chasing after the others and set them in front of me. “Honesty do you see Sweetie Belle messing with the puddles. If I tell you once not to mess with something then don’t. Why don’t you behave like Sweetie Belle here?” I pointed to where Sweetie belle was sitting only to find myself looking at empty air. “Girls where is Sweetie Belle?” I asked while running my hand through my hair; one of my signs of stress. They just shrugged their shoulders.

“You’re supposed to be the one watching us not the other way around.” Scootaloo said sarcastically.

I let out a heavy breath and pinched two fingers on the ridges of my nose. I grabbed my backpack and had the girls get inside it. Once they were secure I put the backpack on and started to weave through the crowd hoping to spot Sweetie Belle. The girls played a game while I walked.

“Look out puddle to your right.” Applebloom said.

“Watch out there’s one to your left!” Scootaloo said with a start.

“Volcano about to erupt in front of you. Quick dodge out of the splash zone.” They both said together.

I just played along knowing that they were just trying to find a way to have fun. I looked for Sweetie Belle throughout two-thirds of the vault before finding her. She was in one of the corners and there were three earth ponies in from of her. They weren’t full size ponies but were bigger than her. By my guess they were teenagers and when I started to get closer I could hear them talking.

“This is what we’re going to do,” Said the brown pony. “You two are going to hold her down and I’ll do her. Then if you’re lucky I’ll let you take turns.

“Why don’t we all just do her at once?” Said the orange pony.

I stopped when I was a foot away from them. I looked around and saw that many of the nearby stallions were suspiciously looking in every direction but where the three earth ponies were. I guess none of them were going to stop them so that left me. I took off one of the backpack straps and started to walk up to the ponies. I was hoping to talk my way out but I made sure to keep only one strap on just in case things got physical and I needed to throw the girls away from the fight. My worst fear was Sweetie Belle getting hurt but I was certain that I could reach her in time. Then all I had to do is keep her close to my chest and use my body as a shield.

I walked up the rest of the way and stood right behind once of the ponies. They were too busy arguing over who would fuck her first to notice me. There was a part of me that just wanted to start bashing in their skulls but I wanted to avoid violence and decided to start talking.

“There you are Sweetie Belle. I was looking for you everywhere.” I said pretending not to notice the three ponies in front of me. The three ponies jumped around and started staring at me. I had to stop myself from balling up my fist and getting in a fighting position. Instead I kept my hands in my pockets and tried to look relax. Sweetie belle opened her mouth to say something but all that came out was a tiny squeak. She looked terrified and every part of me want to just jump through and grab her but I forced myself to stand still. None of the earth ponies said anything so I just kept talking. “So Sweetie you remember that time a grumpy bear try to attack you and I stopped it.” I lied trying to get her to follow along. Luckily Applebloom and Scootaloo saw what I was trying to do and started to say something.

“I remembered that day. You beat that bear down before it could even get close to her.” Applebloom said trying her hardest to make it sound truthful.

“Yah, you were so awesome beating up that bear!” Scootaloo said maybe a little too excited.

“Who are your friends here Sweetie Belle?” I asked her while looking each pony in the eye. The orange one and the tan one pushed the brown one forward and hid behind him. He opened his mouth and then closed it. He turned to his friends.

“Let’s go.” He said before walking swiftly into the crowd. He friends were quick to follow him and I told Scootaloo and Applebloom to watch my back just in case they decided to come back. I walked up to Sweetie Belle and picked her up. She buried her face into my chest the second I picked her up. I decided to find a new spot to stay and while I looked I sang my lullaby to the girls to help them fall asleep.

It seemed like every moment the ponies were in the vault the worst they got. At first they would just masturbate as often as they could but after a while they just started fucking each other. I use to tell time by the meal cycles but now it was impossible to do that. Most ponies would take more than their share and I would end up with nothing to give the girls. I know that the Heat Cycle effected males too but every moment put the girls in danger.

The breaking point happened right after a food passing. For a while I would catch the stallions eyeing the girls with me. Before I knew it I was surrounded by just about every male in that room. A unicorn stepped up from the crowd and walked up to me.

“I think you should go take a walk outside the vault.”

I nodded and grabbed my backpack. I turned to tell the girls to get ready to go with me but the unicorn used his magic to yank my backpack out of my hand and throw it across the room.

“You’re going to take a walk and you’re going to leave those fillies here and if you know what’s best for you then you won’t come back.”

I knew this was going to happen. A bunch of males stuck in a vault for three weeks while trying to kill their sex urge. Masturbating and fucking each other wasn’t enough; they wanted live females and there were only three in the room. I guess their moral finally broke and now they’re going to go after kids. I guess that’s why I couldn’t find any other female fillies in this vault. I opened my mouth to say something in hopes of somehow talking my way out of the situation but someone started talking before I could and for the first time since I’ve been here I was glad to hear his voice.

“Well this got dark pretty quickly. I love chaos just as much as the next guy but this has gotten too dark for my taste.”

I turned to my right to see discord standing next to me and guarding my flank. “How long have you been in here?” I asked him. He just shrugged and lend over to me.

“I think it would be for the best interest of the fillies behind us that we leave.” He said while keeping his eyes in the same spot he was staring before he moved to me. I looked behind me at the girls who were all huddled to together and shaking in fear then back at discord.

“Well we only have a few options. We could fight our way out-“Discord snapped his fingers and appeared in a roman soldier outfit. I looked down at my body and saw that I was wearing the same thing. He had a shield and sword in his hands and I was holding a spear and shield in my hands. I rolled my eyes and continued to lay out the options. “Or you could teleport us away from this mess.”

“Why do I have to do the teleporting? You can do it, so why not you?” He asked looking slightly agitated.

“I can’t teleport that many people and plus I can only get as far as outside the vault. That won’t help us if these stallions decided to chase after us. You can get all of us to safety without a problem. I’d ask pinkie to do it but from what I hear she is a little busy.” I told him. He huffed and snapped his fingers. Next thing I know he’s gone and when I turn to look at the girls they were gone too. A few seconds later the roman armor and weapon I was wearing disappear; leaving me with nothing but the clothes on my back and my fists. I took a minute for the stallions to realize what just happened and when they figured it out the room got a lot more hostile. The unicorn started to come up to me with his horn lit.

“GET HIM!” He yelled. I spit out a curse and throw a punch at him.

Twilight and the others were standing outside the vault. A few minutes went by and the Doctor joined them.

“Should we open the door? The Heat Cycle is over so it’s safe for everypony inside.” Twilight asked the others.

“I think we should open it. I want to make sure that my sister is ok.” Applejack said

“I agree with applejack dear. I don’t want Sweetie Belle in that room any longer then she needs to be. Celestia knows how dirty it is inside.” Rarity said impatiently.

Seeing that the girls were getting restless, twilight decided to open the door. Her horn lit up as she tried to open the door but the door remained closed. The Doctor walked up to it and started scanning the door with his sonic screwdriver. When he was done he put it back into his saddlebag and turn to the girls.

“We can try knocking.” He said hopefully. Twilight pushed the Doctor aside and went up to the vault door and knock on it several times. After a few seconds the door started to unlock. It opened with a hiss and everyone took a step back when the smell inside hit them. It was pitch black; the lights must have gone out. A few minutes passed and then a body flew out of the vault and landed in front of them. It was a Pegasus. He looked like he was still breathing but was unconscious. No one moved and waited for somepony to come out. Minutes ticked by before they saw movement. Before long Guardian walked out of the vault looking like he just went through Tartarus.

I heard the vault door opened while fighting and when I saw the light of the outside I kicked the Pegasus in front of me out of the door. I walked out myself a few minutes later while trying to get use to the light. I looked around and saw the Doctor, Twilight, Rarity, and Appleajack staring at me and by the looks on their faces I must look terrible.

“What happened in there?” Twilight asked while looking me over to see if I was hurt.

“Where are the girls? Are they ok?” Rarity asked me looking worried.

“I think they are ok. It got ugly inside there and I had Discord take them. Now if you will kindly excuse me I have to go find them and kill Discord.” I said while heading toward the stairs.

“You have something on your face there sugercube.” Applejack said when I walked by her. I just grunted and left the room to go find the girls.

The Doctor walked inside the vault and came back outside a few minutes later. “They are all unconscious. He took out a whole room of stallions.” He said surprised. Twilight started to shake her head back and forth.

“That’s impossible. I don’t know a lot about humans but I know that he couldn’t be able to do that alone. Some of those ponies were trained guards. It’s just impossible… What happened in this room?”

I headed for the treehouse. I had a strong feeling that Discord would have them there. As soon as I climbed up and walked into the treehouse it changed. It was like a mansion inside and it took my ten minutes to find them. They were all gathered in the dining room, or at least one of them, and they were having tea. Discord was sporting a butler’s outfit and was passing around drinks.

When the girls saw me they got up and tackled me in a group hug.

“You’re ok!” Sweetie belle said while clinging onto me and burying her face in my chest.

“You smell something terrible.” Applebloom said.

“You got something on your face.” Scootaloo said before letting go of me and laughing.

I looked at them to see if they were ok and then shot daggers at Discord. He just shrugged and decided it was best to leave me with the girls. As soon as he left the mansion disappeared and we were back inside the treehouse. I looked at each of the fillies and silently thanked Discord for keeping them safe. After a few minutes I picked them up and started heading back to the castle.

“So, this probably was the worst first month of your life going somewhere new.” Sweetie Belle said sadly.

“No, I’ve had worst but it was interesting to tell you the truth.”

She looked up at me and started to smile. “So does that mean you are still going to help us get our cutie marks?” I started to laugh and shaking my head.

“I’m looking forward to it.”

“CUTIE MARK CURSADERS NEW RECRUITERS IS A GO!” They all shouted loudly. I just started to laugh and wondered if every month would end up this crazy. I hoped so…

Author's Note

Ok a few things to say:
One: I REGRET NOTHING.
Two: I wonder if I have crossed that clopflic line.
Three: I apologies if some of you found the parts with fluttershy amateur or stupid. This is the first time I actually tried that kind of style and it may be a little crappy because of that. sorry if applebloom doesn't sound country. I don't know how to do that very well. Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter.

Prologue(Remake)

The first thing I saw when I woke up was a white ceiling. Every morning I wake up looking at this white wall and every morning I spend a few minutes remembering everything. It’s a lot like seeing my whole life flash before my eyes but there is no flash and every memory is detail and to the point. I watched my childhood pass by, all my high school years, college, the army, the accident, and then the white walls. Every morning is the same and every day is routine. As soon as the memories stopped I sat up and looked around the room with the small hope that something had changed from the last time I looked. My bed was in the far right corner of the room. To my left was a plain white desk. Across the room in the right corner was the toilet that refuse to clog, not from a lack of trying though, and directly across from the toilet was the shower that always sprayed the coldest water. Of course it wasn’t complete without the door at the center of the far wall that was so white that a normal person would be unable to point it out. When I was put in this room it took me ages to tell where the door was. Sadly there was no door handle on my side and every time someone opens the door it’s like they are trying to unlock a vault door. I sighed as I realized I had already finished the first part of my routine.

I got out of bed and made it as I always do every morning. Once that was done I carefully stripped completely naked. I took the shirt and pants I was sleeping in, folded them neatly, and placed them at the end of the bed. I remembered when stripping naked made me feel weird but over time I learn that it was just easier not to wear anything once I woke up. When the guards come for me they usually have me strip naked anyway and if I was too slow they would just rip them off my body for me. That’s how I lost my favorite set of clothing. They give me the same white, collared shirt and white pants when I came here but the set that got destroyed was by far my favorite. The memory faded as I moved to the middle of the wall. I walked heel to toe from the wall to the front door. I counted as I walked and when I reached the door I sighed. Six steps as always. I do this every morning hoping the number of steps would be different somehow. I turned left and walked to the toilet and started to pee. As I did I remembered the numerous failed attempts to clog the toilet when I used it. Nothing I ever did would clogged the toilet and the end result would just end with the guards punishing me for trying, not though it ever got me to stop trying. Once I was done peeing I put a whole roll worth of toilet paper in the toilet and flushed it. I watched as the toilet failed once again to clog and then waited with baited breath for the guards to come. They didn’t though. I wasn’t worried about it. I strangely stop getting visitors a long time ago. It messed up my routine a little at first but I adjusted it quickly enough. I waited for the toilet to settle before moving to the shower wall and doing an about-face. I then walked heel to toe from the shower wall to the opposite wall. Six steps as always. After I got over the lack of change I moved to the center of the room. I throw my left arm straight upward and lifted up on my toes. My hand barely brushed the 5`3 foot ceiling. I slowly lowered back to the ground and dropped my hand. I officially can say the room remained unchanged from yesterday. With that part of the routine done I moved on to what I usually do next.

I used to be in the army before getting thrown in this white prison so working out was normal for me. Of course I’m not going to say that I was some beefed up solider when I got locked in here in fact I was pretty dam fat to be honest. With nothing to do but sleep, eat, stare at the white walls, exercise, and other boring stuff you could go stir crazy. So when I got stuck in here I decided to spend every moment working out in any way I can. I don’t know how long I’ve been locked in this room but I’ve had enough time to trim off any fat on my body. I wasn’t bulked by any means but I have a six pack, defined chest, solid arms and legs. I am fit to say the very least. Now a days I work out just because it’s part of my routine. As always I just finished my workout when I heard the food dispenser on the door open then close. I race to the food that was placed in my room. There was a Styrofoam tray on the flood with a Styrofoam bowl filled with paste and a Styrofoam cup with water in it. I remembered when all of it use to be plastic. I took the tray and waited for someone to get it through the food dispenser. Breaking the person’s wrist was worth the savage beating I got from the guards when I did it. To be honest I really don’t care for the food. The paste has always been tasteless but getting meals is the only way for me to tell time. Every day I get three meals at a set time. Shortly after the last meal the automatic light in my room goes out and I got to see just to wake up and do the routine all over again. With gusto I emptied the bowl and cup and place them back into place. Shortly after the food dispenser opened and a gloved hand took everything away. I moved to the center of the room and sat down Indian style and started to count. This was part of my routine. I would count to see if they would give me my second meal at a different count. They have yet to do so since I started.

I got my second meal just as I got to the number I always do every day. I ate it quickly and waited till it got removed before I started to exercise again. Like the first meal, I just finished my workout when I got the third meal. Once I finished I immediately moved to the shower and started counting when I reached thirty the shower turned on and I embraced the freezing water. Another count to thirty and the shower shut off. I spent the rest of my time staring at one of the white walls until I dried. Once I wasn’t soaked anymore I put on my clothes and moved into bed. A count to thirty and the light in my room shut off plunging me in complete darkness. I smiled as I laid in bed. Another routine played out perfectly as always. The routine was important to me. To be honest without it I’m certain I would have gone bat shit crazy by now. I counted until I passed out and finally ended another perfect routine for the day.

I woke up staring at a white ceiling. When I woke up I immediately started to do my routine. I had just folded my clothing and laid them at the foot of the bed when I heard a sound that I haven’t heard in a very long time. The sound that the door to my room makes as someone from the outside starts to open it. I moved swiftly between my bed and the toilet, I put my hands on the wall and backed up to the point where my arms locked out, I then spread my legs to be a shoulder length about and started staring at the wall. I listened carefully as the bolts to the door were unlocked one by one. I learned from listening that my door has twelve locks. For as long as I have been in this room there have always been the same three guards who come to get me. If I listened closely enough I could tell who was the one opening the door. All I had to do was count the time it took for each lock to be released. I’m certain that the three guards play some kind of game to decide who gets to open the door when they have to get me. Whoever wins the game gets to play lead guard that time. By the time the third lock was removed I knew who lead guard was today and I cursed silently. Each guard liked to play their own games with me when they have to move me out of all of them I hated only one of them more than the others and he just so happens to be lead guard today.

When I heard the eleventh lock get removed I started to stare straight in front of me and wiped my face of any emotion. I had to keep reminding myself to keep breathing once the last lock was unlocked and the door started to depressurize. I think it speaks volumes about how long I have been locked up because I could tell when the door opened simply from the fact that my senses heightened to the point to where I could smell everything from outside my room. Tobacco, liquor, piss, a hint of sexually arousal and depression. The good old smells of humanity and all it’s worth. I stiffened as I heard a guard from outside start yelling.

“Prisoner you will face the wall between your bed and toilet. Prisoner you will lay your palms flat on the wall and with back up until your arms lock out. Prisoner you will spread your legs to a shoulder width apart. Prisoner you will continue to stare at the wall in front of you and not move from this point on. If you do anything other than what I tell you from this point of you will be punished severely. Do I make myself clear prisoner?”

I didn’t respond to his question. If I said anything or did anything they would rush in and punish me for it. I learned the hard way the first few visits from the guard. I calmly waited as the guards walked into my room. As always I could hear three distinctive sets of footsteps coming into my room. The first set walked to the end of the room and stop, the second set stopped just behind me, and the third set stopped at the front door. They do it this way all the time. One would stay by the door, one at the end of the room, and the lead guard would “search” me.

The lead guard started his search. Apart from the whole part about me being completely naked making the search process completely unnecessary; nothing was different about it compared to a normal search. None of the guards said a word during the whole search and when the lead guard was done checking me he just backed up a step. I almost thought that he wouldn’t do what he normally does…almost.

I suppressed myself to respond when I felt the lead guard shoved a gloved finger up my ass. I grunted when he slammed my head against the wall and I could feel him leaning over to my ear.
“You miss me?” He whispered.

I tried to get my legs to stop shaking as I felt him pull out. I stopped being able to tell whether I shook from pain or pleasure a long time ago. I did not bother responding it would just excite him more if I did. I did wonder silently why it felt different. The way he did that wasn’t like the other times he did it. My thoughts were interrupted when I felt the guard grab my hands, put them behind my back, and handcuff me. With that their little game was done. Now they would take me out of my room and lead me to a room down the hall.

I felt a jolt of electricity go through my body as the lead guard shocked me. This was normal. I gave each guard a special name after a while. The lead guard I named Shockey. He was the only one who carried a cattle prod. The other two carried batons.

I turned around and look at Shockey. More like I look up at him. He was a solid five-six feet tall. That was four inches taller than me so I had to look up at him. Being short meant I was use to this. He was pale white and his blonde hair was short and gelled backed to give a greaser look. I was never good at telling the subtle differences in people’s faces but I know the most striking detail about his was his eyes. They were a baby blue and, with his pale skin, stood out.
I turn my head and look at the guard that was leaning against the wall. I called him Cancer Stick. He was tall and skinny. He was the only guard out of the three that wore tan pants with a button-up white shirt that he tucked into his pants. His short cropped brown hair made him look like a giant walking cigarette thus the name.

I felt Shockey zap me again to get me to start moving toward the door. I turned and started to obey but when I saw the last guard I froze. He was about the same size as Shockey. His black hair was cut into a medium fade. I could never place where he’s from. His skin is as dark has mine but, like me, he is not Spanish. I froze when I saw him because I saw the holster on his hip with a gun in it. This surprised me because the name I gave him was Squealer. He got it when I first got locked up. He happened to be the lead guard the first time they came to get me. He came into my room waving his gun around like a wannbe gangster. So I broke his wrist, then his forearm. I got as far as dislocating his shoulder before Shockey and Cancer Stick ran in and beat me off him. He screamed like an online twelve-year old who just got owned on a MW2 match the whole time I broke him. He never wore a gun again after that…except now.

For the second time today I got this weird feeling of something being off. Another zap from Shockey interrupted my thoughts. I decided to just figure it out later and started to leave the room. Squealer took the lead with Shockey and Cancer stick fell behind me. The first thing I noticed when I got into the hallway outside my room was the lack of guards standing guard. Every time I felt the room I would turn left and follow the hallway until I reached a pair of massive blast doors. There would usually be a team of scientist inside the room past the blast doors and I would spend the day getting “tested on.” This usually involved torture in some way.

The walk was the same as it had always been except the guards that stood by every ten steps of so weren’t there anymore. This just continued to confuse me. When we reached the blast doors I realized that they were already open so I didn’t have to stop and wait for them to be opened. So without missing a beat we all just walked inside the room.
It was just how I remembered the last time I came to the room. All the walls were white and stainless. There were desks place in random areas. The only difference was a metal structure against the far wall. I took a look at the structure and realized that it was a gate-like device. In the center was what look like a mirror but I could have sworn it was glowing slightly. I didn’t see anyone in the room anywhere. Usually was a small team of scientist in the room at all times. I would normally use the time they use to “test” me to learn something about the facility I am stuck in. I learned that the building was huge and underground. I also learned that everyone inside it hasn’t left the facility since it was made. It was like a massive underground city of scientist and guards. There was a sound of movement from behind us that made all of us turn around.

Standing by the blast doors was an elderly woman. She look to be around sixty. She was white with short black hair. Her face was wrinkled with age but her hazel eyes spoke of youthful ambition. Her clothing was covered by a lab coat so I couldn’t see what she was wearing. I saw she had a holstered gun on her hip and a buttoned controller in her left hand. While I looked at the woman I got this weird feeling again.

Shockey moved to the front of everyone. “What are you still doing here?” Shockey stated.

“Be silent!” the woman shouted.

Shockey flinched and seemed to cower away from the scientist. It was at that moment that everything fell into place. I looked at the scientist and saw that she was looking at me and smirking.

“Guards unshackle the prisoner.” The woman stated calmly.

Shockey seemed to hesitate at first but moved behind me and took off the handcuffs. She continued to watch me as I rubbed my wrists.

“Go ahead and start doing that little thing you just love to do.” The woman stated.

I looked around the room and then at everyone in said room. I took a slow deep breath and faced the scientist.
“Well I think I’ll start with you,” I said smiling. “Judging from the wrinkles I would say you are around sixty. You dyed your hair and got rid of those scars on your face but I know an old friend when I see one. Long time Sam.”

“I see age hasn’t dulled your senses.” Sam said. “Is that all.”

“No I’m just getting started. How about you explain the guards. You think you could fool me with clones of my old guards.” I calmly said.

Sam looked stunned for a second before calming down and smirking.

“What gave them away?” She asked.

“Well for starters Shockey never wore gloves and Squealer never wore his gun after I broke his whole arm. It all really clicked in when Shockey looked terrified of you. He was never scared of you before. What I want to know is why there are no guards in the hallway and why there seems to be a portal to God knows where behind us?” I looked behind me to make sure I was right about the portal thing and to seem the look on the guard’s faces. Clones tend to freak out when their told they’re clones.

“Clones shutdown protocol activate.” Sam shouted.

All three of the guards locked up and stood at attention and stood stone still. I looked at Sam and pouted, “Now why did you do that? I wanted to watch them freak out!”

She just rolled her eyes and looked at me angrily. “ you think your funny playing dumb by asking question that I know that you have the answers to already” she huffed.

“Fine!” I said, “I thought I would humor you for once. Your right though I already figured out most of what’s happening.”
I waited for Sam to say something but when she didn’t I took that as a cue to keep going.“So the government is shutting down the program, everyone but you, me, and the three clones are left. From the looks at the portal I certain once I step through it this place goes boom. You’re going to leave and close the blast doors once I do and leave this base.” I looked a Sam to see if I was right. She seemed to look satisfied.

“That it?” She asked me.

I just shrugged and turn toward the portal. Once I reached the entrance I turned around and looked back at Sam and smiled.“No it’s not. But I’m going to pretend that you are the Sam I know from my childhood and not some clone that was made when I got locked up here. I’m not going to act as if I already know you’re a dead person walking and that you won’t make it twenty feet from that door once you go through it. I wish you luck and hope that in the end you were happy Sam.”
Sam looked at me sadly, “There you go again being kind to those who hurt you. I’ll never know why all you’ve ever done was smile even after everything you’ve been through.”

“The answer is simple Sam.” I stated. “Smiling and laughing is all I know how to do anymore. Do me a favor Sam be the one to prove my statements wrong ok”

I turned around and look at the portal. I waited for Sam’s reply. “I think I’ll do that. How does thirty feet sound?” She ask. I tried to ignore the sad tone and laughed.

“You always think too small. Try to make it out of the base will you.” I said hoping she couldn’t see the tears running down my face.

“Ok, I’ll do just that.” She choked out.

I pretended not to hear the sound of a body hitting the floor. I refused to look when I heard the sound of ragged breathing. Without looking back I stepped through the portal.

It turns out going through an unknown portal was like how they would describe teleporting. It was like fish hook snagged my stomach and pulled inward. It was as uncomfortable as it sounds. I didn’t fight it and just let it happened in fear of what would happened if I tried to struggle against the feeling.

After a few seconds of getting yanked in the gut I started to see a light in front of me. At the same time I felt the sucking sensation slow down and it seemed to start to shift. I felt like someone throw me head over heels. I was stopped suddenly when I slammed face first into something firm. I grabbed a hold of whatever I slammed into and steadied myself on my knees. I blinked and looked at what I had face planted into only to end up looking at the butt of a blue pony. Not just a plain pony but a quite large, midnight blue, alicorn pony. It was at that moment that I realized that I was firmly clutching on to supple amount of this pony’s flank. I paused when I noticed a weird tattoo on its flank. It look like a white crescent moon surrounded by black splotches. I was too stunned to completely register what was going on but was put back into reality when I felt two solid forms of contact on my chest followed by a sudden feeling of flying.

It was like time slowed for me as I flew through the air. I took a good like at the blue alicorn while I was airborne. She had a blue mane and tail with an almost violet outline. I could see what look like stars inside her hair and if that wasn’t weird enough it seemed to be floating as if there was a continuous wind going through the air. Her head seem too big for her small, skinny frame and her eyes were large for a normal pony. Her teal color eyes displayed a mixture of shock and rage all complete with a very pink blush adoring her face.

I noticed she wore jewelry. On her hooves were light blue horse shoes. Around her neck was a black necklace with a white crescent moon at the center. It look like an exact copy of the tattoo that I saw. Then I noticed the small black crown resting just behind a long horn on her head. Somewhere in my stunned mind I cursed at the fact I most likely just groped the ass of a possible queen or princess but I was too busy thinking how beautiful she somehow look at that precise moment.

My flight eventually ended with a sickening crunch as I crashed into the wall behind me. As I laid crumbled on the ground I took note of how this pony seemed to shatter my whole chest with a single buck. For the first time that I could remember I start to laugh or in my case I wheezed. It was a true genuine laugh. I laughed until I finally made sweet love to the darkness.

Author's Note

that's the remake of the prologue. I'll be keeping the original chapters in the story. I like to see the difference in my writing styles. I still hate doing dialogue I cant every make it come out smooth in my opinion. It there are any mistakes be my guest to point them out. hope you enjoyed it.

Adapting: My way.

It was sundown by the time the train got to ponyville. I take no time getting off and looking around at everything. It looked even better in person than watching it on the show. I turn around to tell them all how cool I think ponyville is only to find twilight standing behind me.

“Where did everypony go?” I asked

“They all said they had to go do something.” Twilight responded.

I just shrugged and let her lead the way to the castle. The whole way there she drilled me with questions about my kind. Every time I answer one question she would ask another one. Sometimes the answer to one question would cause her to ask a new set of questions. I wondered if she would ever stop asking me questions.

“Can you perform magic in your world?” Twilight asked.

“Not real magic.” I replied, “We use science instead of magic to get things done. We build machines and other stuff to help us get done with everyday work.”

“What about Friendship. Does that make magic?” she asked.

“In my world friendship is not magic. Some people say that the friendships that they make feel like magic but the only thing friendship has given me is backstabbers and pain.” I replied darkly.

“Well maybe now that you are here you might make real friends.” Twilight said cheerfully. “I want to be your friend that way I can help use see that friendship is magic.”

“Why would you do that for me?” I asked.

“You are here alone and do not really trust anypony due to your past experience. The best way I can get you comfortable is by becoming your friend and show you that in this world ponies can be trusted. Plus the best way to stop from running away from me is by giving you some reason to stay around.” She said.

“You are a very smart and seductive pony. I think I’m going to lock the door to whatever room you let me stay in.” I said jokingly.

“That’s ok I have keys to all the doors in the castle.” She deadpan.

We reached the front doors of the castle and twilight proceeded to open the door so I couldn’t reply to the comment that she just made. Truth be told I did not even know how I was going to respond. We go inside the front door and right as I close the front door the room lit up and a room full of ponies shouted, “SURPRISE!” Twilight jumped up into the air in surprise and conjured up a bubble shield around us. I fell to the flood shaking with uncontrollable laughter. It took her about a minute to realize that we were not being attacked by an unknown enemy. She dropped the bubble shield and apologized. Pinkie Pie appeared out of thin air in front of me and asked,

“Why are you laughing?”

“You scared twilight and it was funny. I said between gasp of breath. “Why is every pony in the town inside the castle?” I asked.

“Isn’t obvious you silly filly. I told you that I was throwing you a WELCOME TO PONYVILLE PARTY!” said pinkie pie.

“But we just got the train from Canterlot. How were you able to throw a party like this in such a small amount of time?” I asked as I looked around the giant room filled with balloons, confetti, food, and refreshments. I wasn’t lying about every pony in town being in the castle. It was packed with ponies of every color imaginable. Some had wings or horns and others looked like a regular pony.

“This was nothing I just ran out of time!” pinkie said.

“Does it burn you up guardian?” twilight asked, “Don’t you just want to spend the next two months trying to figure out how pinkie pie was able to do this?”

“Not really.” I said.

“What! Why not? Don’t you want to find a way to logically explain it all?” she asked.

“I don’t and there’s a few reasons why. One: I’m not you. Two: I have better things to do than that. And Three: its Pinkie Pie don’t question it.” I said trying my hardest not to laugh.

“ARGH! Forget about it!” twilight said angrily.

I was going to say something to keep messing with her when I was a pony out of the corner of my eye that stopped me in my tracks. She was a blue Pegasus with a black and white mane that resembled a skunk in Golden armor and she walked with a stiff strife that told me she trained most likely be the royal guard. I couldn’t believe my eyes. She wasn’t in the show and the only other place I know her from was a story I read. If she was here then that means that my Intel on this world is way off and that means my plans just got harder to achieve. The Pegasus made her way to twilight and started talking to her. I stayed close by to hear what they were talking about.

“Your highness I hope your trip to Canterlot went by smoothly.” Said the blue Pegasus.

“It was ok, I got a new assignment. By the way Storm I told you that you could just call me twilight. There’s no need to be so formal all the time.” Twilight said.

“As you wish. I guess you’re assignment has something to do with the creature next to you.” Storm said while looking at me with a look of suspicion. “I strongly advice for you safety that you keep your panic gem on you at all times while you’re around it.”

“Storm his name is guardian and I don’t think he is a threat to me, but if you insist I’ll wear my panic gem.” Twilight said sternly. She took a gem from storm and put it around her neck. “Happy?” she asked.

“For now.” Storm said before moving to a corner and continued to watch me. Turning to me twilight said,

“Sorry about that. That’s storm by the way; she my bodyguard. Don’t take what she said to offense she can be like that to every new pony I meet.”

“It’s fine. No big deal.” I growled. “I think I’m going to let pinkie introduce me to everyone here. See you later.”

I went looking for pinkie and found her by the refreshments. I was very curious about what drinks she had set up for the party and after taking a look a Rainbow dash gave me a pretty good idea of what it was. She had a tower of drinks in front of her and she was draining them in record time. I took a cup and filled it with the honey-looking liquid and took a sip. It tasted like apples with the hint of alcohol and I loved it.

“Do you like the apple cider sugarcube?” Apple Jack asked as she came up next to me.

“It’s the best drink I’ve ever had!” I replied as I drained the rested of the liquid in the cup. “Do you know were pinkie pie is I want her to introduce me to all the ponies in here?”

“Yah, sure thing. Just say her name three times.” Applejack replied before disappearing into the crowd of ponies.

“Pinkie pie, pinkie pie, Pinkie pie!” I said.

“What you need!” Pinkie asked as she appear from thin air. I held out my arm and acted out my best gentlemen voice and said,

“I believe my dear that you promised to introduce me to all these ponies here and I am taking up your offer now.” Pinkie put her hoof around my outstretched arm and said,

“Well then sir why don’t we start.” We skipped together into the crowd arm in arm. She pointed to a gray Pegasus with a blonde mane who was gorging at the muffins and said,

“That’s ditzy doo but everyone calls her derpy. The chestnut pony with the bowtie standing next to her is Doctor Whooves. He lives in a blue box that seems to move around a lot.” I had a mental panic in my head when I saw him. It was a pony version of the Doctor who wouldn’t panic. Pinkie lead me deeper in to the crowd giving me names of all the ponies around me. She then pointed over to light purple mare with blonde hair and said,

“That’s Storm kicker’s cousin, Cloud Kicker. You already know Storm kicker. Blossomforth is the white Pegasus with green and red mane and you already now Fluttershy. They are Cloud’s Paramour.”

“How did you know that I knew Storm kicker already.” I asked pinkie.

“I eavesdropped on you eavesdropping on twilight so I hear everything.” Pinkie said while smiling at me. I decided not to push the discussion anymore.

“What is a Paramour?” I asked.

“It’s like somepony’s special bang buddy.” Pinkie replied. She then frowned and her mane flattened and lost a little of its color. “I wish Rainbow dash would make me her special bang buddy already.” She replied darkly. A part of me started screaming CHANGE THE SUBJECT BEFORE SHE KILLS YOU AND USES YOUR BODY PARTS IN HER NEXT SET OF CUPCAKES!

“So pinkie I know this is a party but I think it should be a Par-tay!” I said with emphasis on the par-tay part. I even used an eyebrow raise. The effect on her was immediate and within seconds she was back to old self and disappear only to re-appear at a pair of records and pulled out a white unicorn with blue hair. Within minutes the sound of subwoofs were playing throughout the castle and I took the honor of being the first to start dancing badly.

The party ended Late into the night. I was unsure when because the moon doesn’t move in the sky like the one on earth. Everypony left the castle in groups and soon it was just me and the main six. I decided that I wanted to play a little game with all of them before they all went home. So I went up to twilight.

“Twilight does this castle have its own bar?” I asked.

“It does. It’s in the basement where we keep all the alcohol. Which might need restocking soon.” Twilight responded.

“Good get everyone to the bar. I want to show you guys how I adapt to a new place.” I said while smiling. Twilight rolled her eyes and got everypony together. Once she got everyone together, for the exception of pinkie pie, all of use headed down a flight of stairs to the basement or in Rainbow dash’s case stumbled. She looked like she already had a few too many. When we get to the basement I took a minute to take in the sight of the bar. It was huge inside. It was a building within a building or in this case castle.

“What kind of game do you want to play?” Twilight asked.

“I want to see who can take the most drinks.” I said breathless with excitement. “The rules are simply: you drink what is put in front of you. You lose if you give up, pass out, or vomit you lose. Any questions?”

“Just one,” Rainbow dash said, “Are you ready to lose to me?”

“Only one way to find out. Bartender get me six shots of your best produce and don’t stop pouring until I tell you!” I shouted. We all took a seat at a table and when the bartender place the drinks in front of us we each took a shot.

“Whose tab is this going on?” He asked.

“Just put it on mine.” I said knowing full well I didn’t have one or any money for that matter.

“Of course.” He said.

“Ready, set, DRINK!” I shouted.

Five rounds in Twilight and rarity gave up. Twilight said she didn’t want to deal with a hangover and said she was going to bed. I just think she can’t hold in her alcohol. Rarity claimed that it was unlady like to get completely hammered and went home. I had no comment for that. So the game continued with me, applejack, and rainbow dash taking shot after shot. At the fifteen round mark rainbow dash throwup on the floor and then feel into the puddle and passed out. At this point I’m starting to feel buzzed and am starting to see double.

“Hey applejack you want to make this game more interesting?” I asked in a slight drunken voice.

“What do you have in mind?” she asked.

“Bartender I want you to pour us the strongest drink you got and I don’t want you to stop until there’s only one of us conscious.” I yelled. He did and the game continued and I would be dammed if a country talking pony was going to beat me in this game. Ten drinks later. That’s all it took for applejack to lose. She ended up passed out on top of rainbow dash. I took a victory drink and got up and shouted.

“I WIN!” The world spun around me in a blur and I ended up throwing up on the table, tripping over a chair, and knocking myself out.

Author's Note

Well that's it for this chapter. Special thanks to Chengar Qordath for letting me use his characters in my story. I plan to have more stuff about the Kickers in later chapters. hope you had fun reading this. I know I enjoyed writing it.