Spike's Crown Hunt

by seasalt

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Spike
Length: 4853

When the effects of the human world make Twilight stupid it is up to Spike to save Equestria.

With the unknown magic of the human world making Twilight irrational and stupid. It is up to Spike to figure out how to get the crown home.

Published 2015-03-10 02:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-10 02:10:02 UTC

Spike's Crown Hunt

Spike opened his eyes. He felt tired but had been woken by something. He remembers a loud crash, she woke up. Spike couldn’t remember what had happened but figured that if it was important Twilight would tell him about it.

He took a deep breath out and yawned, focusing his eyes on the room. The walls were crystal, they sparkled in the sunlight. And he was lying on a bed beside Twilights. He placed his feet on the mattress and took note how soft it was. He pressed his claws into the bed and then shot out of the bed when he saw Twilight was gone. ‘You’re the number 1 assistant remember?’

He looked around still sitting on the bed rubbing his eyes. After the shock, he wanted to sleep again. Six hours a night was so little. How do ponies cope?

“MORNING, SPIKE!” Pinkie screamed excitedly as the dragon fell out of his bed in shock. He faced a mirror and saw himself, looking as tired and confused as he felt. Spike’s mind was racing. ‘Okay, so, I’m in a castle, Pinkie is here, should I write a letter? No! That’s silly. Oh time, why are you so hard to track. This castle is different from Canterlot must be Crystal Empire. Note, memories were easier to track when I was younger must work on that.’

He stood up, maintaining his balance using his tail for support a neat trick he learned when he was a baby. He faced Pinkie who was now grinning, waiting for him to reply.

“Good morning, Pinkie. What can I help you with?” Pinkie blinked at the polite response then giggled.

“You’re silly, Spike. Come on, Twilight needs you!” Spike followed Pinkie and thought.

‘If Twilight is here, perhaps she can explain my memory.’ Then he shook that thought away. He was just tired this happened every morning mustn’t worry about it.

Spike followed Pinkie quietly through the halls, going as fast as Spike’s legs could carry him. After about five minutes of walking – and in Pinkie’s case, bouncing – they reached a door guarded by two ponies made of crystal. Spike remembered what had happened and suddenly realized he had forgotten the saddle bag. He hoped Twilight had it because he really didn’t want to go back there.

“Watch your step, Spike.” Spike looked at Twilight and noticed the bag.

‘Thank you, Twilight for thinking ahead.’ He looked around and saw Luna and Celestia with the others. Twilight’s mind had a million questions, but Spike’s mind only had one. ‘When was breakfast?’ No bad Spike you are an adult now the question is.

“Who stole the crown?” Asked Twilight. That’s the question Spike thought, wishing he had asked. How proud would Rarity be if he showed how clever he was with asking the right questions?

Celestia spoke up in her calm voice that didn’t demand attention but simply expected it. “Sunset Shimmer was a former student of mine. She began her studies with me not long before Twilight.”

Spike looked into Spike’s bag and saw a plastic crown. He took it out and held it in front of him as he spoke up. “She replaced Twilight’s crown with that one.” Celestia examined it as if to verify that it was indeed fake.

Spike put the crown back and then asked what he thought was an obvious question. “Sorry if this seems obvious, but how did she sneak in?” Rarity gave him a look that he read as ‘good thinking, my love.’

Luna walked to the mirror and looked at her own reflection. “This is no ordinary mirror. It is a portal to another world.”

Pinkie put a hoof through it. “Ooh, sparkly!” Luna rolled her eyes and used her magic to move Pinkie away.

Spike looked at Twilight, waiting for her to ask the next obvious question. When she didn’t, Spike thought that maybe she was too enthralled to be in Celestia’s presence to think clearly. Which didn’t make sense, considering she was Celestia’s student and had become an alicorn because of her studies.

“Did you know the mirror would open?” Spike asked, ignoring this disapproving look Twilight was giving him.

Cadence nodded. “It opens once every thirty moons for three nights.”

Spike was getting annoyed that neither the princesses nor Twilight thought of the obvious security precautions. Spike didn’t know as much as Twilight, but he knew what to do when something important was threatened. “Why didn’t you have a pony guard the mirror?” He felt a hoof slap the back of her head. “Oww! What?”

Twilight glared at him, using her size to dominate his perception. “Do not ask such unimportant questions, Spike! What matters now is that we get the crown back. Right, Celestia?” Celestia nodded, trying to hide how glad she was that she didn’t have to answer.

Cadence spoke up again. “Twilight, you and Spike must go there and retrieve your crown, before the moon rises to the middle of the sky on the third night. It is of the utmost importance that the crown is returned. Do you understand?”

Rainbow Dash spoke up. “What about us? We need to go to!” Celestia shook her head. “I am sorry Rainbow if all six of you go Equestria will be undefended.” Dash thought about this but seemed to accept the statement however unwillingly. Spike didn’t point out that as far as he could tell. Without magic the other elements were useless and Twilight didn’t seem to know, heck he didn’t actually know for sure. It just seemed logical. At that moment Spike realized how awake, he was now. It takes ages but when he’s up there is no stopping him. Twilight and Spike entered the mirror.

Spike felt his body being sucked through the portal. He didn’t know for sure, but he imagined that this is what being sucked into a vacuum was like. He felt sorry for the dust bunnies but was distracted when he saw bright colors, speed past him as he felt the magic surrounding him twist the dragon form into strange alien shapes, as if he was being stretched and then morphed into unnatural positions. It made him feel sick.

As he was about to puke, Spike realized that the world was no longer spinning, but he was. He fell to the ground, closed her eyes and waited for his head to stop spinning. As he felt less sick, Spike opened her eyes and stood up on all fours.

His mind was turning pessimistic again. ‘No no no no no no! Okay, calm down. I’m a dog, I think, but the mirror is magic, so maybe camouflage? Twilight can’t get the crown without my help, She’s too stupid or having a bad day. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt. Now that we are here, she will get the crown back.’

He looked over his new body and took note of the fur, ears, and tail. In the span of two seconds or thereabouts, Spike went from panic to just accept that things like this were what were going to happen. Besides, being a dog wasn’t that weird; at least this mission would be easy unless the crown was heavily guarded by strong magic and possibly guards. But he thought that if that was the case, Sunset Shimmer would have just kept what she had stolen instead of switching it.

After Spike started to form a plan for a search path that could cover an area of 150 kilometers in about 2 days, starting with a bakery he heard a high-pitched wail from behind him. Spike turned and saw Twilight screaming her thin spaghetti arms and strange loose fur draping over her dry skin. Oh, wait those were clothes, obviously. Not wanting to draw attention, he ran over and covered her mouth.

“Keep quiet.” Spike sighed. “We have to find the crown, so we can’t draw attention to ourselves. Understand?” Twilight nodded and he removed his paws.

“Where are we, Spike?”

Twilight looked around and saw hideous monsters appearing to be going to a building in the middle of the town. “I think this is a town, probably a parallel to Ponyville, judging by the store names.” He pointed to a shop named Sugar Cube Corner.

“We need to search the castle first.” Twilight ran off on all fours and Spike ran after her.

“They’re bipedal!” Spike called and watched as Twilight stood up. Spike rolled his eyes and started to walk after her. “And that’s not a castle! It’s either a school or a library! Oh, Celestia, it’s going to be a long day.” He saw someone stare at her. “Woof woof bark grrrr.”

They entered the school and walked down the hall. As Spike walked beside Twilight looks for clues, he heard singing. “I've never seen a place that's quite like this.”

Spike looked around; people were glancing but trying to ignore the singing. “I don't think you should...”

“Everything is turned around this crazy world is upside-down.”

Spike looked into a classroom. “While I admit that they look a little old to be in school, it's no stranger than anything we've seen...” He saw Twilight get knocked down by passers-by. He ran over to help.

“Getting on my feet, it's the hand that I was dealt.”

Spike rolled his eyes as they continued walking. “That pun was forced. Also, please stop singing. The natives are getting restless. NO, NOT IN THERE… I mean bark!” she yelled as Twilight entered the males’ toilets. A few seconds later she ran out. “Told you!”

“But I don't have much time with them, got to learn all that I can.”

Spike looked up at her counterpart. “That's going to take forever. Tell you what, if we have time then we can learn about friendship, okay?”

Twilight wasn't listening. “They don't use any magic or fly with any wings.”

Spike looked around. “Good point! Although I don't think they fly at all, with or without wings. Sorry, that's just pedantic. Uh-huh, woof.”

They looked into a classroom window. “I don't get these funny clothes, skinny legs or tiny nose.”

Spike stared at her for that. “Okay, first, Rarity can make clothes like this – not that she would, they look like they are from the eighties – and second, don't judge these aliens on how they look. That's just mean.”

“Everything's confusing when it seems so new, but I look a little closer and it starts to feel familiar too.”

Spike smiled at that. “See, there you go. A bright side. Also, I don't think they care that you’re singing, which is great. You can't even hear me, can you? Woof.”

“What a strange new world, I'm trying to make heads or tails of this strange new world, what a strange new world.”

Spike jumped up and covered her mouth. “Stop singing and listen.”

They heard whimpering from around the corner and someone yelling. They walked over and stuck their heads around the corner.

“I didn’t know you had dropped it,” said the meek little voice of who was obviously the counterpart of Fluttershy.

“Well, I did, and I was about to get it before you swooped in and ruined everything.” Spike didn’t know what Sunset Shimmer looked like, but he guessed from how much she wanted the crown that this was her. “You shouldn’t pick up things that don’t belong to you!” Shimmer snarled.

“It doesn’t belong to you either.” Spike was shocked at how none of Fluttershy's’ friends were helping her, but he didn’t have time to dwell on that. They probably weren’t here, was all.

Twilight yelled at Sunset Shimmer as Spike walked over to Fluttershy, allowing her to pet him. He found the whole thing rather uncomfortable, but let Fluttershy continue as she seemed to relax. When Sunset Shimmer walked away, Twilight came back to Fluttershy.

“Are you okay?” Fluttershy nodded, continuing to pet Spike. “You like my dog?”

Fluttershy beamed. “Yes, he is so cute!”

Spike signaled for Twilight to continue. “You mentioned a crown?”

Fluttershy stood up. “Don’t worry, I gave it to Principal Celestia.”

Twilight nodded. “Where is she?”

Fluttershy pointed down a hall. “Third door on your left. Also, better put your dog in your backpack.”

Twilight ran off and waved Spike following her. “Thank you”

Outside Celestia’s office, they argued. Spike looked at the bag Twilight was holding open.

“I am not getting in the bag,” Spike announced.

“Sorry, Spike, but you have to. The fact is that pets… animals aren’t allowed in this school.”

Spike groaned and crawled in. “Fine. Now tell me precisely what you will do.”

Twilight groaned and turned her head to face Spike. “I go in, I ask for the crown, I leave. Okay?”

Spike sighed. “Okay.” He went back into the bag, which was just big enough to be comfortable. Spike kept his eye on what Twilight was doing, though. Spike watched as she bowed, opening the door with her head. Spike rolled his eyes and whispered, “That’s unnecessary. Stand up straight.” She did so and Spike listened carefully to what they were saying.

“Can I help you?” Spike found it odd that the most powerful pony in Equestria was a principal in this world, and giggled at the idea that Mayor Mare outranked Celestia. He was thinking about what this meant when he realized that it meant nothing. ‘This is simply a parallel finding link is simply a coincidence.’ That being said, Spike was still resentful of the fact that the portal appeared to of made Twilight dumber and more distracted. It had been 2 minutes how were they not leaving?

“You see, about the crown…” Spike felt himself get shoved back into the bag and missed the rest of the sentence. He focused and listened to them talk some more. “Princess of the Fall Formal?”

Spike face-pawed. ‘She’s not going to ask. Princess Twilight Sparkle – a supposedly intelligent scientist and alicorn with the status and power of a demigoddess – is scared of a principal of a school.’ He felt her bag being swept up, and they were leaving without the crown.

When they turned the corner, Spike stuck his head out of the bag. “Why didn’t you tell her the crown was yours and ask for it back?”

She stopped walking. “I was going to, but imagine if one of them came to Equestria and said they came from a place with fleshy two-legged creatures with these?” She waved her arms. “They would think they were crazy.”

“Oh no, these people that I have never met before and will never meet again all think I’m a freak,” Spike mocked. “Look, it’s not that I hate you. You seem nice enough. I just want to know one little thing, that’s all.”

Twilight looked confused and saddened by her friends' attitude said, “No pony said you hated me.”

Spike sighed. “No, I mustn’t have mentioned it. Listen, did you even think of how you are going to get the crown back?”

Twilight exhaled. “Yes of course! All I have to do is make friends, be crowned Fall Formal Princess, get the crown, and then go home. It’s foolproof!”

Spike just stared at her. “Good thing it’s foolproof because you are a fool! As intriguing as that plan sounds – and it has ‘make friends’ in it, which I like – I have a better plan.” Spike took out the fake crown, from the bag. “You take this and you either say, ‘I come from a world of candy-colored horses with unicorns and friendship. That is my crown, it’s magic, and I need it back.’ Or you lie and say you made that other crown based on this one, and there was a mix-up.” Spike held the crown towards Twilight.

Twilight looked uncertain, however. “I don’t know, Spike. Lying to Celestia won’t be easy, and she won’t believe I’m magic.”

Spike growled despite himself. “Plan C. We… YOU tell Celestia that YOU didn’t get the crown back because YOU WERE TOO SCARED! And I stop being your assistant, because frankly, you are a failure. Woof!”

Spike could hardly believe that he was being this harsh. If it were Fluttershy he would never say or think this, but because it was Twilight he was being as cruel as she felt angry.

Twilight took the crown and turned back. “You’re right, Spike. Mean, but right. I will do that.” Spike sighed with relief as he saw her go back to Celestia.

Spike stood on a table, peering through the window as Twilight talked to Celestia. He hoped that the overly aggressive talk he gave her was at least effective. It looked like this would take a while, so Spike sat on the table and scratched her ear with her back right paw.

As he waited, he spotted Angel, bouncing in front of him. Spike stared at him for a few seconds, then shook away whatever his immediate thought was. Instead, he opted for something safer. “Hello Angel,”

He looked at Angel, who was eyeing him distrusting. “I’ve had a really bad day.”

Angel nodded and looked at the door. “Yeah, she’s in there, hopefully lying it would be more convenient”

Spike was tired. “Where’s Fluttershy?”

Angel pointed to the door of a classroom. “Oh, right. Well, just take care of her, okay?”

Angel nodded absent-mindedly. “I’m sure Rarity will be disappointed. I shouldn’t shout at Twilight” Spike shrugged. “I don’t like this Twilight. She seems to be obsessing on fitting in. She would actually sacrifice her own planet to not be called a freak! Can you believe that?”

Angel looked around and nibbled a carrot. “I hope Twilight is smarter than she seems, I don’t want to be here for 2 years.”

A few minutes later, Spike saw the door to Celestia’s office open and heard two voices continue their conversation. “I’m honored that you wanted to do an art project based on our crown, and I still don’t understand why you didn’t just tell me.”

Twilight sighed nervously. “I just got flustered, that’s all. Thank you again, Celestia.” Celestia smiled and slammed the door.

Spike snatched the crown away. He looked around carefully and then put it in the bag. “Good job, Twilight. Now do you know what we should do?”

Twilight nodded. “Yep, go home. We have the crown – let’s leave.” Spike sighed and looked at his paws.

“About that… we need to bring Shimmer with us. I know she’s not too dangerous here, but why risk having someone with magical knowledge running around?”

Twilight thought about this carefully for a few seconds. “How do we do that? Should we get help?”

Spike shook his head. “I don’t think there is any real reason to involve them, especially since we don’t want to risk an interdimensional incident. If we need help, we will, but I think we can handle this ourselves.”

Twilight smiled. “You have a plan, then?”

Spike nodded and began explaining. “Yes, I do. We use the crown as bait. First, we find Sunset Shimmer. Then we show her the crown, so she chases us. Then we push her into the statue. Our priorities are as follows: first, we return the crown; second, we take Shimmer – if we can’t get her that’s fine. We will just get her power source out of her reach.”

Twilight nodded slowly, thinking. “Just one thing. What happens if Shimmer gets the crown?”

Spike growled. “Then we fail!”

Twilight hid in her bag, Spike held the crown close to his chest and listened carefully. Among the background chatter, he heard a familiar voice growing louder as the owner came closer.

“Watch yer step, Big Mac.”

“Eeyup!” Spike looked up to see Applejack and her brother walking towards them. Twilight walked up to them and waved. “Hello there, my name is Twilight Sparkle.”

Applejack’s smile grew to be about as big as her face as she shook Twilight’s hand.

“Well, howdy there! I’m Applejack and this big lug is my brother Big Macintosh.” She smacked Big Mac hard, making him almost drop the crates of cider. “What can I do for ya?” Spike stuck his head out and Applejack spotted him. ‘Well, isn’t he just the cutest little thing. Rarity will just adore ya.”

Spike hid again ears perked at Rarity’s name Twilight spoke up. “As much as Spike would love to spend time with Rarity, I actually need to talk to Sunset Shimmer. Do you know where she is?”

Applejack scowled and the atmosphere got colder. “What do ya want to talk to that back wooded, pear eating little sh-”

“APPLEJACK!” Big Mac cut her off and Applejack took a few seconds to control her anger.

“Why do you want to talk to her?” Applejack corrected.

Twilight looked flustered, but pressed on. “We-I have something she needs to hear.”

Applejack nodded knowingly. Of course, it was so obvious. Sunset Shimmer clearly did something to upset the poor girl. Twilight needed her help, though, so there was nothing for it. “I was headin’ to the main hall to drop off the cider. She might be there, she really likes to interfere with school affairs.”

Spike was interested in Applejack’s disdain for Sunset Shimmer, and resolved to help Sunset to be not so mean when they got back to Equestria. Then he realized that was a Twilight’s job and she would probably get her intelligence back when they returned. Spike wondered what Sunset’s plan with the crown was. Twilight didn’t know what happens to the crown in another world, but there is no real reason Sunset should know either. Spike smiled as he realized, despite how much Sunset Shimmer had been built up, she was no more than a bratty teenager reminiscent of Diamond Tiara, and therefore should be relatively easy to deal with.

As they arrived at the hall, Sunset Shimmer could be heard giving someone the once over, pointing out trivial things about the decorations. “This is too pink! It should be red and yellow! And that beverage table should be over there, and what is with all these streamers? Do you want the guests to feel confined?” Sunset Shimmer went on and on until she spotted the four – no, wait, he was in the bag, so – three of them at the table looking at her. “What do you want?”

She glared and Applejack was in the middle of her first syllable when Sunset Shimmer cut her off. “Hey, what is that?” Spike held out the crown and then Twilight wisely bolted. Sunset Shimmer gave chase and shouted, “She’s got the crown! The new girl has stolen the crown! Stop her!”

Twilight and Spike looked behind them as Sunset, Applejack and Pinkie Pie chased them. Twilight burst outside and ran down the football field, past Rainbow Dash and Rarity; Rainbow Dash was on the sideline of the football field with Rarity who was Dash’s and presumably the rest of the teams' cheerleader.

“Applejack, what the hell?” Rainbow Dash shouted. Applejack stopped as the others ran past.

“Sorry to interrupt whatever you girls were doin’, but we need yer help.”

Applejack took a few deep breaths as Rarity coughed. “We weren’t doing anything yet.”

Rainbow Dash waved at her to keep quiet. “Shh, that’s not important. What happened, AJ?”

Applejack caught her breath. “The new girl stole the crown.”

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Oh is that all?” Rarity hit her and looked shocked at Dash’s dismissal of such an important artifact.

“Dashie! Do not dismiss the crown! It is very important to the school.” Dash shrugged. “And me,” Rarity finished.

And at that Rainbow Dash joined the chase. “Don’t worry, I shall return the crown for you, my dear!”

Rarity smirked and ran beside Dash. “I will be right with you all the way!”

Spike jumped out of the bag and ran beside Twilight, crown in his mouth trying not to drop it. He didn’t spot anyone following them anymore, so he slowed down.

“That was close come on quickly to the statue.” Twilight didn’t question him she just turned to the direction of the statue.

As Twilight approached the statue, she saw it being blocked by the five students – Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Sunset Shimmer. Twilight and Spike sighed of exhaustion and an overwhelming urge to just give up.

“Where’s Fluttershy?” Spike was also curious at the absence but Applejack explained.

“She’s at the shelter, but if she were here, she would be helping stop you from stealing the crown.”

Spike jumped into the bag. “Twilight repeat after me.”

Twilight repeated all she heard. “Why are you blocking a statue?”

Pinkie Pie snorted. “Because you are here, obviously!”

Spike smiled, figuring out how to word these questions. “So you think I will run through a statue?”

Applejack tilted her hat up. “No, of course not. That would be silly.”

Twilight nodded when Spike told her too. “Would you mind clearing a space to the statue so that I can show you something really cool?”

Sunset Shimmer shouted in horror, “No, don’t let her, it’s a trap! You would trust her over me?”

Rainbow Dash pushed her aside and Applejack spoke up. “I don’t even like you. The only reason I’m here is to get the crown.”

Dash smiled, holding Shimmer back. “Don’t worry, Shimmer. If she runs, we will just chase her again.”

Rarity sighed. “Please don’t run. I don’t want to run in heels again.”

Dash smiled and kissed her hand. “Don’t worry, my dear, I shall carry you along our merry chase.” Spike rolled his eyes at the absurdity and Twilight threw the crown. It flew over their heads, and as they all watched, it hit the statue and vanished. They all were shocked at what they had just seen and turned to Twilight.

Sunset Shimmer grew red hot and snapped, her red and yellow hair appearing to become flames. “You idiot, you ruined EVERYTHING!”

She tackled Twilight as Spike ran to Applejack. “All that effort, ruined, because you couldn’t mind your own business!” Sunset Shimmer was choking Twilight before rope came forward and pulled Sunset Shimmer off her.

“That’s enough!” Applejack tied up Sunset Shimmer.

“Okay, now. Twilight, explain exactly what is going on, right now!” Rainbow Dash ordered.

Twilight sighed and started explaining. “I am from another world, and the crown is a magical item that I need to return in order to maintain balance. Sunset Shimmer is also from my world; I need to take her back as well.” The group looked at her like she was crazy. “Oh, right. I present Spike, my talking dog, as proof.”

Spike nodded. “She’s right, I am a talking dog, woof and whatever.”

Suddenly, the earth shook and the wind blew as everyone looked. They saw a yellow and pink blur coming towards them. Fluttershy’s face was uncomfortably close to Spike’s. “You can talk?” Fluttershy asked with a huge smile.

Spike looked a little alarmed. “Yes.” Fluttershy squealed and started to ask a million questions, but before he could answer Twilight interjected.

“We really should go. I’m sorry, Fluttershy.” Twilight grabbed Sunset and pushed her through the portal. “Oh, one thing. Go to the library in town and see if a girl named Twilight is there. She will be shy, so be gentle and see if you can make friends with her.”

Spike looked at Twilight. “You are in such a rush, Twilight. We won’t be coming back, so we should say goodbye properly. Geez, I don’t know where she learned her manners from.” Spike smiled at Fluttershy. “It’s been a pleasure to meet you all, wish I could stay.”

Rainbow Dash was looking at the portal curiously. “Can we go there?”

Twilight shook her head. “No, sorry, against the rules. Besides, you have your lives here, and judging by your friendship with these girls, it’s a good one.”

Rainbow Dash nodded. “Yeah, but magic!”

Rarity coughed. “I can’t go, I have to take care of Sweetie Belle.”

Rainbow Dash sighed. “Fine, I won’t go then! Geez, magic, Rarity. You and your loyalty to your sister, it’s so god damn…”

“Sexy?” Rarity offered with a smirk.

“Annoying was the word I was going to use.” Rarity hit Dash again.

“You two need to cool it,” Applejack said. “If you ever come back, don’t hesitate to visit the farm. We need to get to know each other.”

Twilight smiled and hugged her. “I look forward to it. Come on, Spike, let’s go home.” Spike ran through the portal as Twilight followed.

When they arrived, they found themselves face to face with Sunset Shimmer, the remaining five, and the princesses. As Twilight was talking to Celestia, Spike went to Cadence.

“Can you close the portal now?” Cadence nodded and did so, quietly and unnoticed by the others. In fact, they didn’t notice anything Spike was doing, until they heard the glass smash. They all turned to face him with shocked looks on their face. “What?”