Loathing Courtship

by Wikia

Rating: mature
Tags: Other, Romance, Sex, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4038

Pandora, daughter of Lord Discord and Princess Twilight Sparkle, loses a bet and has to take her much-hated childhood rival Bruce to prom. You could say the night ends with a bang. Set in Lopoddity's human Pandoraverse

Pandora, daughter of Lord Discord and Princess Twilight Sparkle, loses a bet and has to take her much-hated childhood rival Bruce to prom. You could say the night ends with a literal bang.

Set in Lopoddity's human Pandoraverse.

All characters are 18 or older.

Published 2015-03-09 17:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-09 17:20:02 UTC

Loathing Courtship

It all started with a bet from her sister-in-law when arrangements for the Ponyville High School Senior Prom started. Scootaloo was going to be one of the chaperons for the dance and just so happened to run across an incredibly tall, young woman in the school's main office. She had on mix-matched clothes that clashed as well as it meshed but with an all around 'dark' theme to it, pointed ears that gave away her status as a wizard, and hair that was as mix-matched in color as her clothing was in style. Streaks of pink interrupted white in the hair that she let grow out down just past her shoulders while pink and purple decorated her scalp where her hair was cut down to barely half an inch, all of which fit her mocha skin tone perfectly.

"What did you do this time, Panny?" Scootaloo asked, one hand resting on her hips while the other kept a firm hold on the dragon-winged four-year-old who shared her purple hair, that refused to land.

Pandora Sparkle ignored her hybrid niece and focused her light yellow and pink eyes in on her seraph sister-in-law, trying to think up a good excuse before throwing the light bulb that appeared over her head and refused to light up into her own personal hammerspace.

"I may or may not have been involved with a slight accident in the choir room where a certain cousin of mine may or may not have been practicing with her quartet..." Pandora replied with a slight smirk, "And she may or may not be trying to catch her hair as it flies around the music hall at the moment."

"At least you didn't set the school in fire this time." the older woman replied, wings ruffling a little bit as Jasper finished playing with her mother's feathers.

"She did, ma'am. At least one of the trophy cases before I got to it." an incredibly stoic voice chimed in. Scootaloo glanced behind her and gave a small grin with a polite nod to the short, slightly chubby woman standing there sifting through paperwork. Her hair was shoulder-length and brown with a pink stripe she got from her mother. She was dressed modestly, a light yellow dress that and pink jacket, both with a high collar and sleeves down to her wrists.

"Cupcake!" Jasper squealed, attempting to tackle her favorite 'auntie' but doing nothing more than crashing into and clinging to her leg. Cupcake didn't even flinch but looked down and gave the little girl a gentle pat on the head.

"Fire, huh?" Scootaloo inquired.

"Only a small one." Pandora protested.

"Panny, you couldn't go one week without doing some sort of explosive or fire-based prank on someone." Scootaloo told her.

"Is that a challenge?" the young sorceress asked.

"And what if it is?"

"If I win, you have to wear your Rainbow Dash wig for a month." Pandora said with a devilish grin that showed off her fangs. At first, Scootaloo was too shocked to reply after having such an old and rather embarrassing memory brought up, but soon the seraph put on an evil grin of her own.

"And if I win, you have to go to your prom with Bruce." Scootaloo retorted, causing her sister-in-law to gag for a moment before steeling herself and nodding. Pandora was never one to back down from a challenge and accepted it with a firm, spit-sealed handshake.

She promptly lost said bet later that evening when her father pitched a wonderful idea on the effects of concentrated potassium and her mother's bathtub. One very angry princess, her full name being shouted through the castle, and a magically regrown set of eyebrows later, Pandora had to give her Aunt Scootaloo a call informing her that not only had she lost the bet but was already getting her second call ready.

A few miles away near at the 'Fish Family Fishery', a phone rang in one of the apartment rooms above the actual store. A young man of 18, average in height, stocky yet lean in build, with a nasty scar down his left cheek and a matching notch nearly half an inch in length taken out of his ear on the same side, Bruce was an excellent example of the kind of person a life even partially dedicated to the sea could produce.

"Yeah yeah, I'm comin' I'm comin'..." he muttered, fumbling around his mess of a room for his phone. Half of the room was covered in the general litter you'd expect of an 18-year-old about to leave high school, the other half was a mixture of weights and various equipment for different types of fighting and martial arts. Ever since the shark attack on his first fishing trip with his father had revealed his secret talent of tenacity and toughness, he had devoted the time not spent on looking good in front of his buddies, working with his parents in the fishery, and coming up with various nicknames to use against Pandora to living up to his talent. While not anywhere near an expert in any fighting field, his jack-of-all-trades knowledge was enough to help him in plenty of fights he had started.

"Sup?" he finally answered once he found his phone, not bothering to check the name or number before putting it to his ear.

"Bruce? It's Pandora... I have something to ask you." his phone's receiver replied, causing the fisherman-to-be to stare at his phone for a moment in disbelief, and then smirk.

"Well well well, if it ain't the biggest royal pain in the ass this side of Manehatten... whatdya need, freak show?"
___________________________________

"This is stupid, this is crazy, this is... this is..."

"Your own fault, sir." Cupcake finished as she clasped the violet choker necklace around Pandora's neck. Once secure, she got down from the step ladder and double checked the lacing of the corset that created the backless top of her dress.

"Oh come on, you know I don't skip on challenges from Auntie 'Loo, and dad just happened to want to do something with explosions that night."

"I would have picked different terms of the bet."

"Yeah yeah..." Pandora muttered, still sulking a little bit while also looking herself over in the mirror. She may have come from a family of party planners with a father so fashion-blind that it once made Rarity literally sick to her stomach, but Cupcake could definitely put together an ensemble for one's big night.

The dress, despite being only one color, was plenty 'chaotic' for Pandora's tastes. With left half of her dress being a skirt that went a few inches down her absurdly long legs and the right half ending just at her ankles with a slit up to right above her knee, the asymmetrical quality of just the lower half was enough to make the Queen of Chaos-in-training happy. Cupcake didn't stop there, though. Her left glove, the same dark purple as the rest of the dress went up past her bicep while her right stopped just before her elbow. The only part of Pandora's outfit for the evening that wasn't randomized or asymmetrical in any way were her shoes, a set of three-inch-heels that brought the already amazingly tall and thin sorceress to a total of 6'10".

"That should just about do it, sir." Cupcake told her, brushing off the back of the dress with a lint brush.

"Cupcake, you're a miracle worker... what about you?" Pandora asked while enjoying the whole 'Gothic', princess of the night' look that her assistant had managed for her.

"Mother had Rarity set me up with something, you might see me in it tonight but I doubt it, sir."

"And why is that?"

"Knowing your date, you'll be busy keeping him in line rather than looking for me in something with pink stripes."

"As always, you continue to earn that '#1 Assistant' mug I got you with your insight, Cupcake. What would I do without you?"

"You'd have gone to your senior prom in something your mother picked out for you and regretted it completely."

"Point taken." Pandora murmured, wincing when she heard the doorbell ring and then cringing when the familiar tone of her father's voice rang out in reply.

"Pandora!~ Your boy toy is here!~" the old wizard chimed as he floated upside down in front of the now open door.

"Hey Mr. Discord." Bruce said, giving a small grin at the man floating in front of him. It wasn't until Pandora turned a corner and came into view that his usual attitude faltered, "I'm here to pick up Pan....dora...."

"Cat got your tongue, shark-bait?" she replied on her way out the door, grabbing the significantly shorter man by his collar and barely stopping long enough to give her father a hug.

"No, I'm just in shock at how your dress stays up without tape given how flat you are on all sides." Bruce quipped once the door was shut behind them.

"And I'm surprised you managed to find a shirt you could actually fit on over your ego and false sense of entitlement." his 'date' said in reply with a huff. "Before we get there, though, ground rules."

"Ground rules?"

"We both behave in front of my family who are chaperons, and a truce on pranks for the night."

"Pretty sure pranks are your deal, but yeah, as long as you don't make me look like a freak in front of my crew."

"I'm surprised you even agreed to this, fish food."

"Oh so name calling is still fair play? Very well snaggletooth."

"Ass."

"Bitch."
______________________________

The rest of their walk to the town hall consisted of a continual stream of both insults and profanity, often a mixture of the two, that was spoken with the same casual tone that old friends would have during a normal conversation and Pandora doing her best not to notice how good her date looked in a suit. They both toned it down once they hit the crowd and worked their way into a prom that was very obviously planned and decorated by Cupcake's parents. Plenty of good music, enough snacks and refreshments to choke a horse, and of course, a dance floor big enough for Pandora's graduating class and then some.

For the most part, Pandora actually found things to be... enjoyable. The chaos of a hundred different people all dancing in close proximity while also trying to avoid the volunteer chaperons, dozens of couples all in varying positions of proximity depending on who was watching and whether or not they cared, even the wall flowers livening up the room in their own way through adding more noise to the air through conversation helped Pandora feel almost at home with how hectic the atmosphere was.

And then of course there was her 'date' and the fact that the slow songs had started that completely killed the mood.

Almost comically, Bruce pulled his date who was a good half a head taller than him even without her heels back from the mosh pit that was dissipating as the first of the slow numbers began. Steadying herself, she placed her hands on his shoulders and given he would have looked stupid resting his anywhere else, his scarred and calloused hands rested on her hips. Once she regained her bearing, Pandora let out a slightly exasperated growl.

"It's not a date if you don't have at least one dance with me." Bruce told her, a smug grin forming across his features before turning to a scowl when she locked eyes with him.

"Bruce, I want you to know the only reason I agreed to go to prom with you is because-"

"-You lost the bet. Yeah. Keep tellin' yourself that beanpole."

"God, you're short." she muttered, still trying to distract herself from how well Bruce managed to clean up when he wasn't sporting a bloody t-shirt with knuckles to match. Despite their relationship, she couldn't help but admit to herself, and occasionally Cupcake, that she found her rival to be cute. Not only was he all about stirring up trouble, but his features weren't boring like most of those around her. The notch on his ear and the scar on his face gave him a level of asymmetry that she found attractive.

"God, you have no tits." was his quick reply, still keeping eye contact in an attempt to keep his mind off the pair of shapely hips he didn't know existed that he had a hold of and the surprisingly tantalizing cleavage that was at eye-level with him.

"Oh, whatever, Shark boy. I bet I wear heels bigger than your dick."

"You already proved you're crap at bets." came his reply, a knowing smirk gracing his scarred face.

"...Shutup." she replied with another scowl as she looked away.

"Make me."

"I'll switch your fly zipper and your mouth."

"You didn't even have the guts try a slow dance with me, what makes you think I'll believe you'll break our little truce?" Bruce teased, half confident that his bravado would keep his mouth where he preferred it, half worried that the daughter of the man who almost destroyed the world twice would actually start messing with him.

"Magical punishment isn't a prank, and you and I both know we hate playing nice."

"Pretty sure my naughty streak is a tad bigger than yours, Pandora."

"Oh? Is the mighty Shark Puncher feeling a little emasculated by lil 'ole me?~" she chided in return.

"You will never be able to emasculate me." Bruce growled back.

"I damn well could if I wanted to, shorty."

"Not if I put you in your place, first, string bean."

"You don't have the balls." Pandora goaded.

"Wanna bet?"

"I don't need to, I already kno-MPPH!" she started, only to be interrupted by Bruce looping his first two fingers into her choker and surprising her with a rough, yet rather short kiss. As quickly as he initiated, she shoved him off, breathing heavily and staring him down.

"You... you little..." she panted, locking eyes with him again and balling her fists. For what seemed like eternity, both young adults tensed up, staring each other down (or up in Bruce's case).

"Do it." Bruce finally said, and Pandora's reply was instant. She tackled him, lips meeting his roughly as he lost balance and fell to the floor. Halfway to the ground he braced for the impact, expecting to hit the hardwood floor. When they landed, he was surprised at how much the floor felt like bed sheets only to discover that they had somehow landed on a bed.

"What the... how?"

"My mother created the Equestria Teleportation Nexus and my father is Lord Discord and you're wondering how I manage to do a simple teleport? Come on Bruce, keep up." Pandora answered, her voice taking a much more sultry tone than before she had tackled him.

"Where are we?" he asked, though about the time he got to the 'are' he stopped caring. The string that tied the back of her corset tight was slowly coming undone courtesy of Pandora's magic and he was getting the show of his life as the top of her dress slowly slipped further and further down her chest.

"Hotel room, Las Pegasus. Didn't want to spend prom night back home with dad running around the house.... now then." she growled again, pouncing her date again as he finally got his head on straight and started shedding the layers of his suit. His jacket was back in Ponyville city hall but his vest and shirt quickly found their way to the carpet. In the scramble as both of them began trying to take control, her corset found its way there as well and Bruce was once again momentarily stunned.

"Woah..."

"Oh right, you thought these puppies didn't exist." Pandora teased, cupping her perky breasts and giving them a squeeze just to mess with her date. Bruce's reaction was rough and immediate as he pulled a move from Pandora's playbook and tackled the lanky sorceress. His mouth found her neck and his hands began working on getting what was left of her dress off. The attentions he was giving her neck almost immobilized her but she was quick to reply, her magic causing his belt to fly off and wrap around the nearest lamp. Once he started kicking his slacks off, he started trailing his lips down her neck and collarbone but before he could reach her chest, she rolled them and pinned him underneath her.

"Take back the flat chested comments or you don't get to play with them."

"Take back the tiny dick jokes first." Bruce retorted, punctuating his sentence by spanking her.

"Hnn... damnit.... fine, you don't have a needle dick." she muttered, her grip loosening up on his wrists.

"And you are not as flat as a brick on all sides." Bruce replied, smiling almost evilly when Pandora let go of his wrists letting him roll them again and pin her. Before she could protest she let out an almost shrill moan as his lips found one of her nipples and his hands moved down to her hips. Pandora took that chance to grab his back and the back of his head, pressing him closer to her chest and leaving red marks down his toned back. It was no surprise to her that he still had the odd bruise here and there from sparring or actual fighting, but before she could give it more thought he started using his tongue and she had to devote what mental processes she had left to not shape-shift into a puddle of moaning, nude, sexy chaos.

"Gonna scratch harder or what?" he teased when he felt her nails rake across his back.

"You gonna stick in in or what?" she quipped, and for a split-second, she swore she saw his egotistical facade falter. True to the moment, his reply was quick and his boxers landed on top of her dress. Pandora's panties were next, topping off the mountain of clothing at the foot of the extremely cushy bed. Bruce was quick to pin Pandora again, relishing in the rush that he got from pinning the woman who had constantly lorded her height and magical prowess over him. Seconds later, his mouth was on her neck again and his member was prodding her already moist folds.

"Wet already? Naughty naugh-." he started before feeling one of her hands close around his neck. His instincts reacted before his brain could think it through and he had her neck in his hand as well. Both young adults stared each other down again, each daring the other to either make the first move or look away. This time however, it was Pandora's turn to voice the challenge.

"Do it." she breathed out, and before she could react or make a joke, he pushed inside of her.

Bruce by all means was no extraordinary example of manhood in regards to his length or girth, in fact it was one of the few areas of his life that he was average. However, when the woman whose virginity you're taking has her picture in the dictionary next to the entry for 'thin', normal for him meant huge for her. The sensations when he first pressed in nearly overtook her and caused a magic shortout that caused the TV to flicker between off and static. When he started pushing in further, she tightened her grip on his neck and his back. He replied by thrusting in completely and squeezing as well, never letting his gaze break from hers and daring not to lose the impromptu staring contest they had started.

"I.... aah.... hate you..." Pandora murmured, panting as her long-time rival started pumping into her with a steady, rough rhythm.

"Hate you too... babe.~" he growled, his lips finding her chest again as his hips started bucking and grinding against hers roughly, if not a bit clumsily.

Despite their combined confidence, bravado, and years of built up sexual tension, they were both winging it. Pandora had never been alone in a room with a boy, nonetheless been in bed with one, and Bruce was always too busy to hold down a steady relationship. Both however, were no strangers to lonely nights and dates with Rosy Palms leaving both with a wide range of knowledge, but no experience. What he lacked in technique though, Bruce made up for in tenacity.

"Harder..." Pandora hissed, and he was all too happy to oblige as she wrapped her long, shapely legs around his waist. As he continued pounding into her, she finally took her hand off his neck and grabbed his wrists, flipping them once more and taking control.

"You call that harder?" she teased, but before Bruce could reply she dropped her weight on him and started to grind her hips against his. She kept up the movements, grip tightening on his wrists as she dropped down on his length harder and harder each time.

"Where'd.. goddamn... where'd you learn that?" Bruce barely moaned out, his hips bucking against hers each time she landed on his lap.

"Shutup and keep going." she growled back, dodging the embarrassing answer involving a book and a DVD that she once found underneath her mother's bed when cleaning the house. Bruce didn't bother retorting, thrusting up harder and matching his hip movements to Pandora's as he got closer and closer to reaching his climax. She could feel him throbbing harder as her walls kept squeezing his length and almost feeling unbearably empty every time she lifted her hips from his.

It wasn't until Pandora finally started moaning something that sounded along the like 'close' that Bruce decided to take charge again and rolled the two rivals so he had her pinned again, his lips on her breasts once more. Pandora raked her nails down his back again, this time breaking the skin in a few spots while Bruce's own fingers gripped her hips once more.

"Panny.... almost..." he moaned into her chest, getting a similar moan in return as she rocked her hips harder against his. Both kept up their rough, fast pace in their desperate chase for their own orgasm while trying not to 'lose' to the other. Luckily for both of them, fate had it that both Pandora and Bruce came at the same time, both screaming out a mixture of each other's names, obscenities, and hatred-filled curses of the person they were sharing a bed with.

"Holy.... holy Celestia..." Bruce finally muttered when, completely spent, he rested his head on Pandora's chest and didn't even bother propping himself up as he laid down.

"Watch it... not talking about Granny Tia like that in front of me..." Pandora teased, her legs relaxing and releasing Bruce's hips, and her hands playing with his hair and the notch in his ear.

"That... holy buck..."

"No one ever hears about tonight, clear?"

"Clear... but why did you reserve a hotel room in the first place?" Bruce asked, smirking up at Pandora while his face was still enjoying her 'pillows'.

"In case I needed to dissolve your corpse in a bathtub that can't be linked to me and doesn't break mom's 'No more chemistry in the bathroom' rule." Pandora replied, conjuring up a small amount of her magic in her palm for a moment before touching her lower abdomen with it.

"What was that?"

"Magical birth control. Last thing I need is more of you running around." she sneered.

"I'm flattered?" Bruce said, raising an eyebrow.

"I don't want to deal with more dumb bastards like you, honestly."

"Or more crazy, psycho bitches like you."

"Asshole."

"Bitch."

"Again?" Bruce responded.

"Buck yeah.~" Pandora replied and eagerly locked lips with her rival that she hated slightly less now in a rough kiss that set the mood for the remaining 8 hours of their night.

Author's Note

Originally posted on Deviantart, I figured I'd post it up here on FimFiction as well.

All OCs and the cover art are of course property of http://lopoddity.deviantart.com/ and used with her permission.