The Ends Justify the Means

by Kris The Kris

Rating: teen
Tags: Other, Original Character, Comedy, King Sombra, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 6907

A human turned 'evil' sorcerer follows his sister to Equestria and get's turned to stone. Upon being released, he begins his plans to go home... Oh, and make a maid.

(A displaced story! Related to my other story, Aura Blades. Character is Lezard Valeth from Valkyrie Profile 1 and 2. Will be fixing up as we go along.)

I was trying to find my sister's kidnapper. I did not expect to end up in Equestria near the Crystal Empire and meet King Sombra. Oh, and I got turned to stone when we were hit by the Elements' beam.

Ah, but I will make the best of it. I will find my sister. I will drag her home. No matter what stands in my way, be it science, magic, or living.

After all, I am Lezard Valeth, one of the greatest Sorcerers in existence.

Published 2015-03-11 02:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-04-28 03:56:34 UTC

The Rise

First Person POV - ???

A thousand years.

A thousand years to sit and ponder the ways of the universe.

A thousand years to remember and to forget.

A thousand years to learn and to change.

A thousand years… a lot can change in that amount of time, especially for dear old Celestia.

Oh, I see the white pony princess walking through the garden every once in a while. I occasionally hear her talking out loud to the statues like me.

Ah, she has always had so much on her mind.

The banishment of her sister. The sealing of her beloved. The betrayal of her student.

So much sadness in the life of a nigh immortal alicorn.

But I digress, I only listen to her when I am not learning.

You may ask what I am learning. It is quite simple.

I am learning everything about magic.

I am Lezard Valeth, Magical Advisor to Lord Sombra, Necromancer, and holder of the Philosopher's Stone.

My old name from the old world is inconsequential at this point since it has most likely fallen to dust.

All that you need to know for now, dear reader, is that soon I shall be walking in the flesh again, and the power to go home shall be mine and I will find my sister.

As soon as Discord falls to the Elements again, I will be free once more and my plan shall begin.

Third Person POV

Over 1000 years ago on Earth.
It was a very dark and dreary day in Baltimore, befitting the general mood of the man who left the large hotel. His large purple cape flapped around as he walked, the noise of it being drowned out by the general noises of the city.

His green eyes glanced over the cracks in the pavement as he took out his smartphone. He was tapping out a message quickly.

“I left the hotel. I love you. ”

The man sent the message, hoping it would not be the last, as he looked up to the crowded convention center. He put his phone up as it vibrated with a message that he’d try to check later.

After a while, he was walking around the convention, getting various compliments on his costume. It wasn't anything special to him. It was just a purple cape, a blue coat with gold patterns on it, a few belts with pouches to hold his stuff, black baggy pants, and brown boots.

He adjusted the fake glasses as he entered the vendor hall, looking around for anyone weird looking. The only ones who stood out were various cosplayers, including Slenderman and Deadpool.

The man started browsing the various tables, hoping a little in his mind that he’d find a clue there. Something that would help him find his little sister.

He stopped at the end of one ‘aisle’, staring at a thick book among many other items from other games. The book was green and shiny red cover with no words to distinguish it’s title. The red parts formed three diamonds on the cover.

The man looked up briefly to see the old man running the table talking to someone else. He picked up the book and opened it up to skim it.

What he did not expect was his head to go into blinding pain as soon as his eyes were laid on the words inside, the information from the book being forced into his head.

In that second, he learned many things about one subject. Magic.

He slammed the book closed, his eyes wide with pain and shock as the information slivered around his head, getting settled. “What the hell!” He exclaimed, looking away from the book to ask the old man exactly that.

All he saw was a ravine in the middle of a snowy wasteland. The man looked around wildly as the cold started to hit him for the first time.

“What the hell?! He repeated at the top of his lungs, his voice echoing over the cold snow.

Location: Crystal Empire

A young dark gray unicorn with black hair stood on the balcony of Crystal Castle, looking out on the ponies his mother used to rule. He could see the miserable ponies in black, still mourning their queen’s passing. Their love and admiration was still powering the Crystal Heart, but even then it was weakening with each and every day. Of course, that could not last forever and he knew the shield would weaken.

Then, he would take action.

He closed his red eyes before walking back into the main part of the castle.

He did not miss her mother like the others. To him, she was weak and pathetic. So weak, she couldn't fight off the poison he slipped in her food. Love, harmony, and friendship did nothing to save her life. Her friends in the princess’s of Equestria did not come running when she first collapsed.

After all, Discord was a rather big distraction.

The Prince, soon to be King, stopped when he heard a pegasus messenger coming. “My lord! Urgent message from the East outpost!”

He looked to the pegasus with a frown on his face. “What is it?”

“The soldiers stationed there found a strange creature and it blew up a wall!”

The black unicorn growled under his breath, his eyes flashing with the dark magic stored within him. “Get the Crystal Guard ready, I am going ahead to see this ‘creature.’”

“Yes, Prince Sombra!” The pegasus flew off

Present day

The full moon shone down on the garden as the sound of cracking stone reverberated throughout then a small explosion.

Then, there was silence, only broken by coughing.

Green eyes blinked furiously as the man previously stuck in stone flexed his fingers and took deep breaths of the clean air. He stayed there, crumpled on the ground before slowly getting up. Lezard spun on his heel as he looked to the statue of Discord.

“Ah, Discord. It is good to see that you are still a pawn to powers greater than your own.” He walked toward the statue, chuckling lightly. “It made it perfect to plan my escape.”

The sorcerer smirked, seeing the Discord statue shaking just a little. “Ah, hush. If my plans take the best case scenario, you will be free once more to cause chaos and with no, Ponies, necklaces, and tiaras to stop you.” Lezard stepped away. “Doesn't that sound nice?”

He spun away from Discord and held up a hand, channeling earth magic to reconstruct the statue he broke out of, depicting him with his arms and legs spread out in maniacal laughter as the rainbow beam of sealing doom hit him.

“Let’s leave Celestia with a little surprise.” The man channeled wind magic soon after and cut off the head of the statue. Lezard turned again and walked toward the walls. “You won’t tell her that Lezard Valeth still lives, right Discord?” The sorcerer asked with slight sarcasm as he switched the magic he was channeling. He morphed into a dark gray pegasus knight and took off into the night sky.

‘Soon, the way home will be open to me. Then, I can find Kris and drag her back.”

Author's Note

Yeah, it's a sister story to Aura Blades dealing with Pecila's brother!
More will be shown about him later as this is just an introduction chapter.

Next chapter will go more in depth to Lazard's character and what exactly he did with Sombra.

Also, my IRL Brother says hi.

Time Passes

Lezard flapped his wings gently, staying above the buildings as he soared toward the north. He kept his eyes locked on the horizon, looking for a few landmarks that would show that he was close to his secondary lab.

He would occasionally see a small town or house as he was nearing his secondary base. “Good, at least I won’t have to go far to get the blood I need.” He mused.

Lezard flew lower to the ground, seeing the landmarks.

After about 15 minutes, he landed, his hooves clopping on the ground as he examined the land around him.

Originally, the land was very dry due to it’s location near the mountain, with scarcely any trees. There was yellowed grass everywhere and it was a location no pony would go to.

Now, it was a thriving location with trees towering up over Lezard’s head. about a mile away there was a pony village and about half a mile away from the village was something that made him shudder in irritation and fear.

A Kobold village.

Kobolds were basically cousins to Diamond Dogs, looking like hunched over Old English Sheepdogs. Kobolds stayed above ground to fight the ponies and usually wore leather or iron armor. They were physically powerful and some could use decent magic.

The reason why they hadn't all teamed up to destroy all the ponies is because… they are the stupidest creatures in all of Equis. One could bribe them into not attacking with something shiny even if the item was just a polished stone. No one would hire them as they usually messed up everything they did.

One Kobold was rather infamous over a thousand years ago for getting hired to protect a small house and somehow causing a fire that took the lives of over a thousand ponies, griffons, and deer.

Lezard looked irritated for a split second before he approached a large stone. He tapped on the stone three times with his hoof before he heard a small beep and the stone lifted up, showing a path underground.

He walked down, feeling the wards he placed over a thousand years ago scan him to confirm that he had no magical ‘bugs’ or trackers of any kind. Lezard flared his magic, causing the rock to return to it’s place and the occasional stone in the floor to glow. He also started returning to his normal human form.

The human stopped in his lab as soon as he saw a thick layer of dust covering everything, to which he had one response.

“It was temporally sealed. Where did all this dust come from?”

Months later…

Lezard looked proudly upon his lab, seeing how the most important part was clean and producing a standard homunculus to clean the rest. He briefly looked to the calendar where he had all the days marked.

Monday was Life Boat Research/Free Day. In other words, it was the day he’d work on his plan to head home and if he hit a stumbling block, he’d work on a different project or just be lazy.

Tuesday was Time Maid Day, in which he kept trying to make a homunculus maid with the power to stop time for her or his self. That research was practically at a standstill due to trying to get the Time Stopping spell etched into every cell of the homunculus.

Wednesday was Resources Day. Basically, he would go out under his pony glamor and get food and water from the nearby village, which he was pleasantly surprised to learn wasn't Ponyville. He couldn't deal with Twilight pestering him just yet. Also, he went out and stole blood from some of them for the Tuesday Project.

He snickered as he remembered the first time he did it to a stallion. He had knocked the pony out, drawn some blood, and then left a few sugar cookies, a glass of orange juice, and a card saying, “Thank you for your donation.” He practically wet himself.

Thursday was Building Day, where he slowly built up his tower. Currently, it was at ten stories but they weren't livable yet. No one would notice or run into it due to the wards etched into it.

Friday was when he just put on a glamor and went into town to just walk and brainstorm. Of course, as a little inside joke, his pony self was called Rocket Brain. He loved it.

The weekends were days when he just relaxed or worked on his projects a little at a time. He missed the Internet.

He marked off the current Monday before going back to his notes but stumbled back when something hit him in the face. He took it off to reveal a selfie of some brown haired woman before he heard what he presumed to be her voice.

Time, the real final frontier. This is the token of Max Caulfield, the Master of Time. Its mission: to seek out those who would protect others and tear down tyranny; to boldly go before me so that I may be called when the time is right.

Lezard said nothing as he quickly got to work- wait, no, he just put it in a folder to magically examine it later. “Can’t be my sister, doesn't sound meek enough.”

Celestia looked out the window at the empty space where Lezard Valeth’s statue used to be before a knight found it decapitated three months ago.

She still felt sadness for the strange creature, even if it did enrage her sister. In the end, it showed remorse for those it had killed, even if it was in a strange way like taking fur, blood, or hair. In the end, it had surrendered to her and Luna, only for Sombra to throw it into the Harmony Beam as well.

Celestia knew it still had good in it’s heart, if only for the fact that he was only turned to stone while Sombra, whose heart was blacker than Luna’s night, was turned to smoke and sealed in the ice.

At the same time, she could feel that maybe Lezard wasn't dead. Maybe, he was freed by the elements but hid for some reason.

With that feeling in her heart, she turned to her desk and started writing a letter to Twilight.

Author's Note

Not much this chapter. Just a bit of character development, explanations, and stuff like that.
Oh yeah, Lezard is going to be using a much wider range of magic than in the game.

Also, in the future, I need some basic pony OCs for the homunculi. Go ahead and post them below or PM me. I need at least five. All of them will have the power to at least stop time.
EDIT: My brother said only one of them should have the ability to stop time. Everyone else can still have powers like transformation and Etc.

EX:

Name: Sakuya
Gender: Female
Race: Pegasus (No alicorns)
Eyes: Gray
Body: Steel Blue
Mane: Silver mane
Personality: An aloof mare with a tinge of ditziness at times. Takes work seriously. Is described as elegant at times.
Other: Uses knives as a weapon combined with her ability to stop time.

If you get the reference and don’t tell everyone in the comments, you get a cookie.

Oh, and the Token is from Wibbly-Wobbly Timey-Wimey? Nope, Just Max.
WARNING! IT IS LABELED MATURE FOR A REASON!

The Doomity Doom Party

Lezard gave a content sigh as he leaned back in his new chair, looking out the window of his now liveable tower. His first successful maid was close by, adding her own certain touch to the second floor.

She was a homunculus unicorn made with ice and fire magic grown into her from conception, thus she could easily use both, though her cutie mark had not appeared yet.

Her main body was a pale pink, a few shades lighter than Pinkie Pie’s own coat. Her mane and tail, which amusingly was styled like Derpy’s, was Dark blue with a golden streak going through it.

“Stella, can you come here?” Lezard called out, said pony turning away from flower painting that she had been tilting.

“Yes, Master~” She chirped, bouncing over.

“Can you get the inkwell and parchment?” Lezard gave a small smirk as he took out a feather from his coat, “I feel like throwing a party.”

She gasped, “So, we’re going to meet other ponies finally!?” Stella gave a fangirl screech as she ran, all the way down to the basement where the lab was.

“Now, what am I going to write?” Lezard mused.

You and two other guests of your choice are cordially invited to Lezard Valeth’s Resurrection Party!

Refreshments shall be served at sundown and music shall be provided.

Time and directions to Lezard’s Tower are on the back.

Remember, wipe your hooves on the way in.

Lezard put down the quill, magic flowing through his other hand as he duplicated the invitation and sealed it with the seal of the Crystal Empire. He chuckled, knowing it would freak Celestia out.

With a hand wave, he sent eight of the nine parchments off to the Mane Six and the Celestial Sisters.

Lezard leaned back, glancing at the last invitation. Remembering the photo tucked in the Philosopher's Stone, he grabbed it and channeled a small spell before tossing it.

He blinked as it went into a small portal that appeared and disappeared just to take the parchment. “Well, that was interesting.”

Lezard smiled down at Stella, who was wearing a simple white dress to cover up her lack of Cutie Mark. She had done an excellent job cooking and getting the first two floors ready for the party.

A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts and he strode over, opening the door.

“Invitation?” He asked in a stern voice, seeing a human and two cat people.

Said human reached inside his torso, pulled out said invitation, and held it out to Lezard, a shadowy blotch forming and closing as he did so, “Yo. I’m Aaron Heibai, these are my two guests; Jupiter and Juno. Jupiter, Juno, say hello to the nice person.”

“Hello, The Nice Person!” The female shouted as she lunged forward to hug Lezard.

The male caught her by the tail and pulled her back, “Jupiter, that’s not his name.”

“I know, but it’d be so funny if he was actually named ‘The Nice Person,’ wouldn’t it?” A few chuckles broke the sentence up, here and there.

The male thought for a moment, a small smirk forming on his face, “I guess it would.”

Aaron shrugged, as if to say ‘Kids, what can you do?’, “So yeah, nice digs ya got here.”

“Thank you,” Lezard gave a small bow. “I am Lezard Valeth. It is nice to meet all three of you.”

He moved aside to show them the way in, Stella standing a bit away to bow to them as well.

“Same,” Aaron strode forth, clothing melting from semi-formal to casual in a quick sweep of shadows, “So, Resurrection party, eh?”

“More of a, ‘Oh hey, I’m not actually dead’ party. I remade my statue after getting free and cut it’s head off,” With a chuckle, he moved his glasses up, “I just wish I could have seen Celestia’s face when she got this invitation. Speaking of which, have you seen a older girl with long white hair, green eyes, and purple leather armor?”

“Plenty, but not the one you’re looking for. Sorry.” Aaron shrugged again, settling down on a randomly appearing chair.

Lezard gave of a small sigh, “Knew it wouldn’t be that easy.” He grabbed a nearby chair and sat down as well. “So, you’ve got shadow powers?”

“Among others, yes.” Aaron swiveled his chair around, resting his arms on its back, without once getting up to move it, “It’s just best to assume I’m… what’s that word for slightly below Omnipotent? Ah yes, a really, absurdly high level reality warper.”

“So, you’re basically a god then? Humorous.”

“Yes, yes I am. Though, most of the pantheons hate me. Mostly because they thought they could push the annoying, shadowy eldritch abomination around.” A smirk and cocky pose. “I kicked their asses for it. People always think I’m weaker than I am because I act like a loon. But enough about me, what about you?”

“Well, I stole the Philosopher's Stone and ended up outside of the Crystal Empire. Then I got taken into custody by the Queen’s soldiers and accidently blew up a wall while experimenting with my magic,” Lezard’s eyes sparkled with amusement, “I played it cool when Sombra showed up and he took me as his Magical advisor after a few word battles.”

“Sombra, huh? Never met the guy, not for much longer than a few seconds, that is.” Aaron dispelled his chair, dropping backwards into an upside down, crosslegged position, sitting in the air as if it were the most natural thing in the world. “Most of the time I ignore him. I have bigger problems to worry about, really.”

“Well, I’ll take care of him when the Empire shows back up. It’ll be rather easy,” Lezard said with an easy smirk.

“If you say so. I remember that one time when I showed up in the Empire when the Princesses were about to take him down… and then I just walked up, ripped out his soul, and ate it.” Aaron chuckled, playing with a yoyo, also upside down, “The Princesses, naturally, were horrified, but I left the Universe before they could do anything about it.”

Then there was a knock at the door, “Ah, speak of the devil.” Lezard motioned for Stella to open the door.

“Alright master~” Stella hummed as she walked over to the door.

Outside, Celestia and Luna stood steadfast with a platoon of soldiers behind them and the Mane six with their respective elements beside them.

“Be cautious, Twilight. Lezard can turn a grown stallion into a mess of emotions with only a few words.” Then Celestia knocked on the door, a spell to stun at the ready.

Honestly, she had no idea what the former advisor for King Sombra was planning.

Stella opened the door and peaked out “Hello?” She squealed when she saw Celestia, “Another pony!”

Celestia and Luna were both caught off guard by this strange unicorn, though Luna found her voice first, “Art thou Lezard’s slave?”

Stella blinked and tilted her head, stepping out, unintentionally revealing her curved horn, “It depends on your definition of a slave. Would a maid count?”

Twilight and Rarity both gasped upon seeing the curved horn. Celestia and Luna kept a passive look but both were feeling sorry for the unicorn. A curved horn only happened with a specific and rare abnormality that would keep that unicorn from ever casting magic.

“What? Is something wrong?” Stella asked, looking at Twilight and Rarity.

Before Rarity could try to console the deformed unicorn, Lezard’s voice was heard, “Stella, stop staring and ask for their invitations.”

Celestia and Luna both stiffened up at the voice, along with Fluttershy. ‘So he really is alive…” Celestia mused

“Oh yeah! Sorry master!” She called out behind her, Stella looked back to group, “Ahem, may I have your invitations?”

“Wait, those invitations were serious?!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, having left her invitation in the garbage.

“Yes, without an invitation you can’t come in,” Stella puffed up a bit as she said this, standing to her full height which was the same height as Big Mac, not including her horn.

Jupiter jumped into Aaron’s lap, sitting in the most cat-like way a human can do while sitting in another human’s lap. “Aaron, it seems Rainbow’s left her invitation at home. Would you mind going to get it?” she said, looking up at him adorably.

“.....” Aaron stared and blushed, patting Jupiter’s head before setting her down onto a massive plushie of himself and disappearing from view, “Of course, luv.”

“You've got him whipped.” Lezard spoke up.

Jupiter did nothing but wink knowingly at the man.

Outside, Rainbow felt a weight settle across her back as a slip of paper dangled in front of her face, held there by strangely black and incorporeal appendages, “I believe this is yours, Rainbow Dash.”

Rainbow and Fluttershy both darted away in surprise.

“We have the invitations now.” Celestia looked to Stella, levitating her paper out along with Luna.

“Alright~ Head on in,” Stella hummed as she burned a small hole in the top right corner of the invitation, horn glowing a faint red, silently noting that they didn’t mention anything.

Celestia nodded to her guards, giving a wary look to the shadowy monster (in her eyes) as she, Luna and the Mane Six entered.

Said monster waved jauntily, perched upon the back of an unwary Rainbow Dash once more. Then it was gone, and Aaron was back in the room, drifting through the room and fiddling with an incomprehensible object that seemed to defy all laws of nature and existence.

Luna looked at Aaron, then at Jupiter and Juno and said the first thing that came to mind.

“Why must there be more of them?” Aaron held up a sign that read, ‘Because it’s funny!’

Luna just gave an annoyed look to Aaron.

Stella smiled and walked in behind the ponies, rather happy that she could finally meet another. She looked over to Twilight and Rarity, “So, what was it you were gasping at earlier?”

Twilight and Rarity both looked at each other before Rarity spoke. “Dear, you might have a certain… horn disease. Hasn’t your horn hurt when you cast spells?”
Stella tilted her head in confusion, “No, should it?”

In the background, Juno pursued Jupiter as she decided to explore the corridors. Aaron chuckled and threw a tracking spell at the both of them, deciding to get them later. Then he started thumb-wrestling with a be-tentacled creature through judicious use of portals. There were many, many thumbs involved.

“It should,” Twilight said as she inched closer to Stella as soft piano music started playing, “You shouldn't be able to cast any spells at all.”

“Master if you’re trying to get me to dance, try some other time,” Stella said, snorting a bit at the music and glancing over at Lezard, before looking back to Twilight, “I have no problems with it, I’m just terrible with normal magic,” she said as she made a sphere of fire and ice appear on opposite sides of her horn.

Twilight stepped back in surprise, a blush on her face, “Um, this is actually very unusual. Would you like to come by my library so we can run some tests on you?”

“I have no idea, though master mentioned something about why I have a curved horn, so why don’t you ask him?” Stella said before walking over to Lezard.

Lezard looked down to Stella from his book, “Yes?” He asked, ignoring Luna’s glare.

“Master, what was it you said about why my horn was curved?” Stella asked, trying her best to give Lezard puppy eyes.

“Oh, it’s because you are an artificially made pony that I created from various ponies DNA,”

Stella blinked before looking at the various other unicorns in the room, from the guards to the alicorns, “They all have straight horns though,”

Lezard looked at them briefly. “Hm, must be something that happens with the growing process.”

Stella shrugged, “It works for me,”

Lezard looked to Aaron, “So, what do you do other than be godly broken?”

“I run a shop full of everything and anything that you can or can’t imagine.”

“Ah, can I browse the store after this party ends?”

“Yeah, it’s cool. I always love having some business in my shop.”

“Cool,” Lezard stood up, waving a hand as tables of vegetarian food popped up.

Aaron floated over, snagged a sandwich, and sat on the ceiling to munch on his food, crumbs falling down and into a strategically placed trashcan.

Pinkie Pie soon joined him, thanks to her suction cups. Aaron barely glanced her way, patting her on the head as he idly fiddled with a floating thing.

Stella looked around at the tables until she saw one that wasn't vegetarian and took some chicken and started eating it, ignoring the looks from various ponies.

“Stella, are you sure you should be eating meat in front of ponies?” Aaron asked, settling into her back and tinkering with his strange thing once again.

Stella finished chewing her chicken and swallowed, “Why not?” She asked, having not actually noticed the disturbed gazes.

Lezard once again palmed his face, “Stella Starbound, what have we been talking about in our spare time?”

“Uhm, other than magic, not being too weird?” Stella said, grinning sheepishly.

“And what was first thing we went over? About pony biology and customs?”

“...What they ate and such,” Stella pouted a bit and went back to the vegetarian tables.

“Exactly,” Lezard looked to Luna and Celestia and bowed, “I am sorry for the poor conduct of my maid.”

Celestia just fixed him with a glare. “What are you planning, Lezard?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t lie!” Celestia snapped, stomping hard enough to scare Fluttershy. “You have an evil tower!”

“Celestia!” Lezard gasped in shock. “I would never make my tower by evil means! Those just fall apart when their ‘boss’ is defeated. I made sure it was good so it would stand long after I leave this universe!”

“What?” Luna and Twilight looked over to Lezard at his last comment.

“I do believe our esteemed host is referring to the act of leaving this world after his goal is completed, either through mystical or technological means. Probably because the guy kinda hates this place a little. Maybe. I think he was looking for a little someone….” Aaron piped up, casually dangling his feet off the side of Celestia’s snout, rear planted firmly upon her head, right behind her horn.

Lezard halfway expected Celestia’s eye to twitch as she tried to knock Aaron off. “Well, yeah. I’m making a small alternate universe so I can use it as a Lifeboat to go home with my sister and her friends once I find them.”

“So, thou could have left if thou was not turned to stone in the conflict a millennium ago?” Luna gasped, putting a hoof to her face.

Aaron remained stubbornly on Celestia’s head, despite her efforts.

Lezard just nodded. “I do not blame either of you for what happened.”

“What happened?” Applejack spoke up, Rainbow Dash flying over while eating a veggie burger.

“Not much. Got used as a shield against the Elements of Harmony and got turned to stone. Nothing you girls have to worry about for a while.” Lezard was handedly ignoring Celestia’s attempts to get Aaron off her head.

“Now what the hay are you talkin’ about?” Applejack asked.

“Stuff that I will help you all with when it pops up.” Lezard turned around on his heel. “Oh, and Rarity, I’d like to talk to you about some commissions I’ve been thinking of.”

A few hours later…

Lezard waved bye to the leaving ponies, looking to either side of the door to the two guards that Celestia had left behind to watch him. He closed the door and looked to Aaron. “Now then, let’s talk business.”

Aaron looked up from where he’d attached more things to the original thing. “Yeah? What do you need?”

Stella walked over to where Lezard was at “Oh can I see the store too?”

“Well, various DNA from super heroes. Especially ones that can stop time.” Lezard ticked off a finger. “Also, Internet access but I’d like to browse as well, see if there’s anything I haven’t thought of.”

“Of course, of course.” Aaron waved a hand and a pair of automatic sliding doors appeared. “Go right on in.”

Stella looked over to Aaron with a smile, “Thank you~” She said as she went in.

Inside was a seemingly endless collection of shelves, racks, stands, displays, and floors. The shop stretched upwards beyond even where even the most gifted being could see, and stretched laterally in much the same way. Aaron stood behind a counter, waving cheerfully. Jupiter and Juno could be seen working in the far background. “Welcome to the Emporium of Everything and Anything! We’ve got a special 50% off sale on weapons of mass destruction today!”

“Where are the spellbooks and enchanted items?” Stella asked, trying to figure out how to navigate the shop.

“Not going to need a weapon of mass destruction… unless magical diseases falls under that. I have a certain plan for Tirek when he pops up.”

“Magical weapons are on the fourth floor right now, but if you want an in depth look for it you should go to the eighteenth floor. Spellbooks are thirty fifth and enchanted items are forty eighth.” Appropriate arrows appeared to direct the pair to their destinations. “Elevators are on your right, just type in what you want and you’ll be directed to the most appropriate floor.”

“Alright thank you,” Stella said, heading for the elevator.

Lezard hesitated, looking to Aaron. “Oh yes, are there others like me who want to go home out there?”

“Some, yes, but more often than not they prefer Equestria over Earth, considering that they get super powers and stuff out of it.”

“Ah. Well, I might finish making my token soon. Would you mind giving it to those that want to go home?” Lezard asked. “I don’t want to leave anyone behind.”

“Of course, of course… though, since this is a business…. it’ll cost ya.” Aaron held up his hands in surrender. “I didn’t make the rules, it’s just business is all.”

“I understand.” Lezard turned around and headed to the elevator. “See you in an hour or two.”

“Alright. Don’t try to steal anything. Bad things happen to those who steal.” Aaron pointed at a large jar of ash labeled with the sign “Used to be Thieves”. He held up a hand pulsing with deadly red light in warning, nodding once, as if to say that he really hoped that Lezard was as smart as he said he was.

“I know not to steal from gods unless they’re assholes. You don’t seem to be an asshole given you’re a merchant.”

“Then again, there was that one asshole making Displaced and he’s well… an asshole.”

“He’s probably the one who sent me and my sister here. Ironically enough, I accidentally stole from him.” Lezard smirked, the elevator doors closing.

“Ha! Nice!” Aaron saluted jauntily, turning back to his paperwork.

Lezard saluted back as the doors closed.

The sorcerer was soon back at the checkout desk with a few items, like a few DNA tubes, a lightsaber, a smartphone, and a biohazard tube.

Stella walked up shortly after Lezard, holding two tomes and two amulets in her admittedly weak telekinesis or a simpler term, levitation magic.

“Huh. That was quick. You two got everything you need?”

“Yeah. I did at least. And I finished my token as well.” Lezard took an orange orb out of his coat. It was about the size of his head and glowed a warm orange.

“Yep~ Took me a bit longer because this tentacle grabbed my hoof and tried pulling me away,” Stella said, shivering slightly.

“Did you freeze it or burn it? Also, you should tell Aaron where it happened so he can go fix it.”

“Froze it, it was somewhere in the enchanted items area,” Stella said.

“Oh yeah, that’s Lemmy. He does that. He’ll be fine, but thanks for the warning.” Aaron took the orb and inspected it for a few moments. “Huh. This is a pretty nice Token, normally it’s just a random object or two.”

“I’ve kept that charging with my extra magic power for over a month. Basically, it will allow anyone who uses it as an item instead of a token to get a large power boost.” Lezard shrugged. “Thought it might help some people.”

Lezard’s choice of words for his token boomed into Aaron’s head when he took it.

‘I am Lezard Valeth, supreme sorcerer. If you ever need aid from me directly, pour some of your essence into the Dragon orb and call my name. However, if you need something more discreet, then take the magic from the orb and add it to your own for an hour long power boost. Together, we shall make it home!’

“Huh. Nice. Well, into the Void it goes!” With that, Aaron casually slung the orb over his shoulder and into a portal, the last view of it being the orb splitting into an infinite amount of itself and rocketing in different directions. “That’ll be six bits.”

Lezard reached into his coat and brought out a few Crystal Kingdom crystals. “Will these do?”

“With extra, yes. That’ll go toward your other items too. So, let’s see what we have here….” Aaron rung up the items, stuffing them into a curiously small paper bag as he did so. “Well, your total is… one hundred bits even. Ergo, that’s about… Hmm…” He tossed the crystals in his hand a few times, “Yeah, that’ll be eighteen of these.”

Lezard started taking a few more out. “Oh yes, where’s the Mountain Dew Throwback?”

Aaron pulled a few cans from under the counter, “Right here. You need a six pack, a 24 pack, or just a bottle or two?”

Lezard took out a large bag of crystals. “As many as I can buy with this. I haven’t had any in over a thousand years.”

As Lezard had done that, Stella slipped the second amulet over his neck, and put the first on her own, “There,”

“..... That’s…. a lot of crystals,” Aaron muttered, sweeping them all behind the counter and pulling out several large crates of said drink. “Well, that covers everything. Do you want a receipt?”

“I was trying to save them for a rainy day and I do want one. I’m keeping track of what I spend.”

Stella smiled, “The amulet is rather fitting on you master,”

Lezard just nodded to Stella. “Oh yes, is your number already programmed into the Smartphone? I’ll need to order more sooner or later.”

Aaron nod, “Yup. First number in there. If you meet more Displaced, you can just put their tokens against the phone and it’ll be absorbed in, just like adding a phone number. Also, internet, phone service, apps, music, etc etc. It’s basically that you have a connection no matter where you are. And the thing is nearly indestructible too, so there’s that.”
“.... So, what do I need to enter your church?” Lezard asked, seemingly blown away by all the things he could do. Plus, he had access to the internet again. Sweet sweet abusability was his again.

“Sign this in the appropriate spots and give me your soul for safekeeping.” Aaron deadpanned, holding out a contract and motioning over to a jar full of glowing marbles labeled, “Souls of Followers (DO NOT TOUCH OR SELL)”.

Stella took a casual step back from the jar, “Uh?”

“You almost had me.” Lezard chuckled. “But I know better than to just give my soul away.”

“Eh, it’s not like I do anything with them except toss them into the appropriate afterlives.” Aaron shrugged and tossed the contract over his shoulder, whereupon it turned into a flock of flaming doves and dissipated out into the aether. “Besides, most of my followers are backstabbing greedy-ass shopkeepers. It sucks, even with the strength I get from faith and prayer.”

“I’d prefer one loyal follower who follows out of respect rather a thousand who follow out of fear. Fear always leads to backlash while respect leads to honest to god good work.”

“Master, how was it that ponies normally said thank you or such? Was it hugging or something? I can’t really remember,” Stella said, scrunching her brow.

“Really, I think it’s up to the pony doing it but you can hug him if you want.” Lezard motioned to Aaron.

“Alright then~” Stella said, smirking slightly as she tackle hugged Aaron.

“Hoomph!” Aaron caught Stella around her waist as she tackled him, spinning around with the force. “Ah… heh… not that I’m angry or something… but uh… Jupiter might take exception if she sees this.”

“Well it’s just a hug so I don’t see where the problem would be,” Stella said as she let go, pouting a little bit.

“She’s… uh… a bit of a jealous girlfriend.” Aaron muttered, already sensing Jupiter’s death glare, even though she was seven trillion floors up. Dimly, he heard her mop snap in half from the force exerted upon the poor thing.

“Yeah, you better get down before she goes Yandere.” Lezard chuckled.

“Fineeee,” Stella said, going back over to Lezard’s side.

Lezard just rubbed the homunculus’ head with a chuckle. “Anyways, thanks for coming to the party and for selling me this stuff.”

“Thanks for the spellbooks and amulets Aaron!” Stella chirped.

“It’s cool.” Aaron nodded, handing over their bag.

Lezard grabbed the bag. “Talk to you soon. I hope we can keep in contact long after I’ve gotten home.” He headed for the door.

“Same to you, pal.” Aaron waved, and the last thing the two saw of him before the doors closed and the shop disappeared was his jaunty salute and his transformation back to shadow form.

Author's Note

Thanks to Jsyrin for doing a crossover with me with his story, So… That ALSO Happened. It was rather fun, especially the parts where Lezard and Aaron just talk.

Next time, another maid and a butler and a trip to Ponyville!

Yay!