Let's Give It A Whirl

by RealityWarper

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Crossover, Twilight Sparkle, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 3204

Funny top hat wearing Cthulu servant monster becomes an adorable filly.

Funny top hat wearing Cthulu servant monster becomes am adorable filly.

Yup.

That's exactly how this is going.

----

Isabella Ironbound.

That was the name of the child whose DNA I had so unwillingly taken upon my creation. Her name- Her looks- Her soul. Everything I owned. Yet, the other part of my DNA belonged to the Faceless One who had created me. I too, am 'faceless'.

After years of serving my creator, growing stronger and defeating him- I wander aimlessly while still growing stronger. I come across an adventurer who creates an unstable portal. Me being the helpful lad/lass/thing I am decided to help them out.

That was a horrible mistake.

With Isabella's DNA and My master's DNA imprinted upon my soul I have enough problems. Now I have more DNA. I've borrowed a few DNA pieces from other creatures from this world.Along with problems to worry about as I now realize I've become a small horse thing.

Atleast I still have my top hat.

Published 2015-03-10 17:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-10 17:50:02 UTC

Chapter 1

'Ugh, my head.'

Coming to my senses and bailing the hell out of the apparently non ever lasting darkness that was known as sleep I thanked whatever true god in this world that existed. I live, and would like it to stay that way. I slowly wretched open my eyes to attempt to gather information to my surroundings. That unstable portal could have killed me- but it didn't. Irony, he who has slain an Elder One by himself nearly fell to a flimsy half baked ass portal. Damn the idiot who created such a thing.

So now I needed to figure out where I was.

My eyes open to a shady darkness. My vision was fuzzy for a short time. But as it cleared up I realized where I was, or at least I had a vague idea of where I was. I was now currently sitting in some form of a modernized version of a wet alley. It was a straight away, one end leading to another. The obvious form of mysterious green trash cans lined up across each other was now prominent as they merciless dominated the alleyway. Luckily I saw a ladder leading up not too far away from myself. Not knowing if I could cast magic at this moment- or ever if I had lost my shape and needed to find a form capable of doing such I knew I needed to quickly get out this Alley if I couldn't. I may be all powerful while I'm in good shape but I don't want some jackass criminal to come mug me while I can't do shit about it. The sound of pitter pattering powerful rain drops along with a flashing arch of thunder assaulted my senses of hearing, and sight. I could feel the rain sticking to me as the pelted me mercilessly.

Grunting I attempt to stand on my feet- Or feet things if I was in my real form.

This proved to not be the case as it was neither.

Upon rising I immediately fell flat on my ass as I lost balance. A second attempt garnered nothing but another failed action- a wet face, and a very sore face.

Woohoo!

Idly rubbing my sore jaw, and smearing the water from the rain puddle on my face further I began to think.

So either I'm too disoriented to walk- A bad, but very huge possibility- Or, I had somehow been shifted into another form. I paused at that thought, realizing that my 'hand' was smoother than before. The latter proved to be truer than the former as I glanced down to find suspicious looking body parts I'm fairly sure I've never harbored.

Hooves.

Scowling, I realized the nature of the situation I'd now been dragged into due to my thoughtless ability to want to 'help' someone in danger. It should be them adorning this body and problems instead of me. Why should I help people anyway? All people ever did was call me a monster and try to kill me. Always stabbing me, punching me- killing me. I should have never helped this person. I did, and looked what happened. Atleast if I died my suffering would end.

No one would miss me.

'Yes, put your problems on others, and have thoughts of suicide. That will solve the problem.'

I shake my head as I realized my brain was right. What's done is done, I can't be bothered with the blame game of who did what. I knew other worlds existed. I'm a Faceless One after all. I could assume due to my shift in form that my body was fixed by this world's magic to fit it's own criteria. Likely the dominating force of the planet.

Sighing, I now throw myself up in a locomotive motion trying to force myself up. I'd only succeeded in slamming my face into the a wet wall. That's the power of not thinking, kids! Stay in school. Slowly forcing myself off the ground, I grunt once more but this time I stay up. I now realize the size of these giant trashcans. They were humongous. Who the hell even needed such large trash cans? What were they, goblins? Couldn't handle only a little trash? Bah. Doubtfully. I'm going to go ahead and guess that giants lived in this world. And, that's my luck! I then mutter a few words of curse under my breath that would make a sailor blush. I then inhaled slowly trying to gather my wits and mind- which was a bad idea because this alley smelled like wet trash. I nearly let my lunch leave from my stomach and out my mouth but refrain and began coughing harshly at the foul smelling odor in this place. A few moments of this was all I needed to compose myself. A thunderclap resounded throughout the alley, causing me to jump. Then the best thing ever, decided to happen. I glance over to my right, and found...

My top hat.

Beaming with glee, I took the top hat off the wet ground and shook it free of the rain water and placed it on my head. It still felt the same and gave me the comfort of my own identity.

Fuck. Yes.

'"..."

My now animal ears perk on the top of my head as I realize that was a voice. Too distant and far away to hear from this point. But I'd need to ambush them- I wouldn't hurt them. I needed to gain a form as this one wouldn't last very long. As a faceless another world's magic would only effect be for so long before I'd be turned into my true horrifying form. I'd need to get someone's DNA before this one lost it's shape. I'd mix the DNA of whoever I find and my current one given to me so thoughtfully by this world and I should be fine. I press myself against the still sopping wet wall and remain silent as I lie in wake for the poor unfortunate soul to come to me. They would no doubtlessly be scarred from the interaction and would need immediate memory wiping or we'd have a very bad issue on our hands. Or plain eradication. Just incase they want to hurt me. I'm tired of pain.

I then heard panting getting closer with the sound of hooves close on it's tail. Either they person was a horse- or they were being chased by a horseman. In which case I pity the poor fool that decided they'd fuck around with a horseman. I mean, I'd have no issue. But they would. That was unlikely though, seeing this world was more modernized. I stuck in my place, opting not to leave unless it was necessary. The hard breaths came to a stopping point which was right in the corner away from the alley I was in.

Infront of me was a dripping wet light brown horse with a obsidian mane, its jaw was trimmed in an almost block like way suggesting it was male. They should call this son of a gun 'Strongjaw the biter' with how strong his jaw looked. He was hunched over with a look of fatigue, but once he got up I could see the insanity in his eyes as he opened them. I also noticed he had a horn. If that was the case, then he's a Unicorn. Which means that there was a chance Pegasi where here too. Interesting. A forest emerald green was present with a eerie looking creepy smile as he stared forward with a look of disgusting pride and satisfaction. He reached over on his side where there lie a satchel of some sort. Opening the flap he somehow manage to pull out a jar without any fingers. In this jar was a glowing piece of of fur or something that looked a lot like a mane. However it was a multicolored hue that suggested it belonged to some ethereal type being. The stallion gazed at the jar with a smirk, apparently happy with obtaining the clipped looking mane piece.

"I- I did it!" The stallion gave out a loud hearty bellow- before quickly silencing himself down to mere potentially malicious giggles of maddened glee whilst looking around for something as if watching out. At that moment I heard several sirens of sorts along with barking. "I have a piece of her mane to add to my shrine...I'd use my magic, but I have to conserve it a little longer for a teleport to safety..."

Oh, now I get it. I was dealing with some sort of creep. He had probably cut the hair of some royalty so he could add it to his creepy little shrine of them. He had a fixed insane obsession with whoever's hair he had stolen. With such beautiful hair whoever it belonged to was likely a very rich and very important person. Or horse. This meant that stealing that DNA in the form of hair from him would likely help me out in the long run just in case I need to claim I'm royalty of some sort. You know, in case I ever needed money. You never know if I may need it, and taking it now would likely help my case than later when people knew me. Strangely, this stallion was HUGE. You'd think he would be a warrior or something. But he didn't look freakishly (I have no right to call anything or anyone a freak) muscular. This meant I was shrunken in size or something of the sort. A Gnome Horse? Very strange. I'd have to check into that later. At this moment I calmly trotted out the alley as the epitome of clear minded.

The Creep's head spun so fast toward my direction you'd think he'd get whiplash. But you know, he didn't.

"Who's there!? I'm a master mage, I'll blast you!" Obviously, neither of these things he said were true. Firstly, he was no master mage. It was obvious the way he carried himself. Secondly, he just said he needed to save up on magic for a teleportation. No way was he going to waste it on trying to blindly fire at what could just as easily be a hobo in an alley. I could sense the nervousness from him from here. He did though, light his horn with a emerald green hue that glowed brightly- only to dim down as he wanted to conserve his mana. I continued to walk out the alley without feeling nervous. Even without magic, I could probably still beat this guy into submission with my telekinetic abilities. Soon I came into sight from the thinly veiled darkness that was the alley into light were I was exposed to this creep.

The look of fear quickly melted into a look of exasperation and relief as he sighed when he glanced at me.

"I'm so sorry about that, little one... You frightened me." He chuckled lightly to himself, as if laughing at an untold joke. "...It's late- and a really bad storm was scheduled! What are you doing out here at this time of night? You should be in bed! Kids these days. You can't be that bad though, you're wearing a top hat! Classy gal you are." I know right? I love this hat too- Whoa, hold the walky talky. He thought I was a kid?

Well, that would explain the reason that everything seemed to be larger. So, this world had a sense of humor. I didn't find it so funny. If it had changed my age, I wouldn't be changing that without being here for a few years. Changing my form would have been easier, but not only it did that- it aged me down by apparently quite a lot. So, he thinks I'm a kid eh? Well, he about to get a very nasty surprise.

"..." I stared at him with a creepy glare, hoping to spook him a little. He only gave me a warm looking smile.

"Aren't you adorable? Well, it's dangerous around here at night. What if I was some creepy stallion; Looking to take you away from home forever! You should be at said place, at home!" Well, you have the creepy stallion part down pat pal. I wouldn't allow the second part to happen. He looked into my eyes, trying to be stern. A horrible horrible thing to do. My eyes lit up with telekinetic energy as I glared at him. Baffled, he scrambled away from me into a nearby alley wall.

"W-What? You're an Earth pony! How are you-" His words were quickly silenced as I decided to frighten him with a quick childish screech as loud as I could manage and jumped at him. Amusingly enough, he fainted on the spot causing him to drop the jar and let it shatter upon the ground with a deafening echo causing glass shards to scatter around along with the lid flying off in some direction.

Satisfied with my handy work- I would never say hoof-ty because that just sounded plain stupid- I trotted over, careful not to step on any glass. I use my telekinesis to pick up the detached and still glowing bit of mane. I closed my eyes.

B R E A K L I N E

I found myself floating in what I can only call a void. I looked up and saw what I could only describe to be a large spiraling tower known as my 'DNA point'. There was literally nothing else here in this void of nothingness. A vast desert of pitch black that stretched on infinitely without a purpose. I'd been to the real void, however. It was supposed to be a place where one lost all sense of self if not carefully tread. However, me being the infinite undying being I am was able to waltz right through it while prancing. I held up the DNA link of the scrap of mane I'd acquired and pressed it against the DNA tower where it began to write the data upon the already magically etched DNA that was provided by this world. The tower spun to life and inscribed the DNA upon myself and began converting my body to fit the DNA of the supposed royalty. It didn't hurt, of course as I was made to do this. I then opened my eyes to the waking world as this process was continuing itself.

B R E A K L I N E

Opening my eyes once more, I found myself lying on the wet ground as the DNA tower had done it's work and had briefly flickered my consciousness from the world of the awake to the world of the unconscious. My vision was once again blurred- but this time there were people...no ponies, at the stallion had called them in my hindered vision. They were surrounding the quivering stallion and yelling something at him. Though I couldn't hear that due to the ringing of my ears. The stallions and mares in question who I could not see correctly were wearing uniforms of a sort. I could vaguely read their expression. They looked absolutely livid. Another mare was over at my side holding me with a large teary expression on her face while shaking me, apparently trying to get my attention.

"You're going to be okay, sweetie!" I heard her say to me in an almost muttering tone. With the way she was holding me, you'd think I was her kid or something. These ponies must be extremely easy to break. In which case I probably shouldn't have scared that other stallion earlier with that stunt I pulled. I shook my head lightly- trying to clear my vision and my hearing. "Yes! You are, you are going to be okay!"

Lady, I was trying to hear what you were saying clearly; Not denying your claims. Besides, I knew it was going to be okay. I glanced over to the other people- who I could guess were this place's enforcement team- carrying the surprisingly gentle but creepy stallion away from the area as he bawled loudly for all to hear. I felt kind of bad, he treated me nicely too. He even complimented my hat.- My HAT! I glanced over and found it to my right again, I picked it up and put it on.

"Little girl- please, can you tell me what happened here?"

Of course, I am an Elder God abomination that came from another world who attacked and stole from a creepy stallion who stole royalty's hair. And apparently I am a little girl now.- Oh, and I have a cool hat.

Instead, I just shook my head.

"...You look like Celestia herself... You have both a horn and wings! A little member they knew not about in the first place?...I must take you to the castle at once! This could be world changing!" Nope.

Immediately I sprung from her hooves and booked it the hell out of there, if I stuck around I'd be suspicious as soon as I arrived at the damn place. What if they knew didn't have by chance a royal offspring bastard child? They'd probably torture me for information, and I wasn't going to allow them to hurt me without a fight.

"Little girl! Wait! Somepony stop her!" Not today.

I busted a left corner and continued banking the hell out of there with a few stallions and mares on my trail. As soon as I hit the corner- I was able to see more clearly than the darkness that way known as the alley. Narrowing my eyes at the pain of the sudden light I hissed softly and continued to run with the sounds of puddles following my every moment as I stomped hard trying to run for dear life.

Thunk.

I felt a pain on my head as I fell backward from slamming into something large and unmovable by all that is matter, time, and space that was strangely dry. My hat flew off of my head and landed on the wet ground. I looked up and expected to find a brick wall. I was not that lucky.

A multicolored maned horse with a snow white albino coat larger than all the stallion and mare behind me stood with a gobsmacked expression while being flanked by her personal guards as either side with the same expressions. Her fuchsia like colored eyes were widened with surprise, and her jaw was hung open as she gaped at me. Even while shocked senseless she radiated an aura of authority.

I felt my chest swell of with a slight fear as her aura of beauty, elegance, authority and passion all hit me at once. We both stood there with looks of confusion upon our faces. I had to look up to her as she towered over me. Above her I could she the two royal guards keeping her dry with an umbrella. I let out the first thing on my mind as I realized this was the royalty I was going to try to avoid. Everything just got messed up.

"Ahh shit..."