Leave Our Sexy Humans Alone

by Bendy

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Original Character, Science Fiction, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Sex, Human, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 1445

The evil aliens known as the Narklarians invade Earth to go kill all humans for some stupid reason. Fortunately, the good and sexy overpowered magical pony aliens of Equestria come to rescue of humanity. Because humans are their fetish.

The evil aliens known as the Narklarians invade Earth to go kill all humans for some stupid reason.

Fortunately, the good and sexy overpowered magical pony aliens of Equestria come to rescue of humanity. Because humans are their fetish.

Published 2015-03-11 18:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-11 18:30:02 UTC

Our Sexyness Saves US

The evil aliens space ships flew toward Earth... in space.

The evil aliens' space ships were vast in number and looked like red, mechanical lobsters, which had massive, terrifyingly sharp claws. The biggest of these lobster space ships was known as the 'Mother Ship'. A true juggernaut, the size of New York City, the rest were only as big as a British double decker bus.

On board the Mother Ship the evil alien overlord known as Lord Nark was standing before a microphone on a stage, that looked like it was made out of bacon fat. In fact, the interior of the ship itself looked like it was made from organic material that resembled cooked bacon. Though, there were some arcade console like machines with rainbow flashy lights that hung on walls here and there.

Lord Nark was the fattest of all Narklarians, like all members of his species was pale skinned, which was riddled with acne. He was an eight feet tall standing bipedal being. Who was a morbidly obese living blob with seventeen large breasts with huge nipples across his chest and two tiny stumpy legs to support his body, four big fat blobby asses on his lower back, along with a huge, thick, long black hairy scrotum beard dangling down between his many fat chins all the way down to his massive belly just above his horrible huge belly button, which was filled with green slime.

Lord Nark had twelve massive bulging fat chins hanging down from his huge flabby neck, that were covered in black neckbeard hair. He had large broad shoulders to support his mighty neckbeard. Four wolf like ears were on each side of his head, he had four thin spaghetti like arms with blobby fat hands, with five long spider like fingers each. He had a short, blobby fat tail with a red magnet attached to it. He wore a black gas mask to cover his face along with a black fedora hat atop his head. He also wore a tiny pair of red speedos, which barely covered his genitals between his legs. In addition, he wore brown leather sandals over his blobby three fat toed hairy feet.

Just beside Lord Nark was General Nark-Nark, who was nearly as fat as Lord Nark. The only real difference was he wore a red fedora. black speedos and black sandals. Off stage, tens of thousands of fat aliens just like them were standing attention for the invasion of Earth. Each of the alien Narklarian soldiers were armed with black blaster rifles, that looked like a stormtrooper's rifle from Star Wars and wore grey fedora hats, green speedos and grey sandals. All the Narklarian breathed very heavily as they wore their gas masks, it appeared they needed the gas masks in order to live, due to how fat they were.

Lord Nark broadcasted himself all across Earth, his deep evil voice could be heard on every radio and his ugly body could be seen on every television, computer and mobile phone.

"Attention, pathetic humans! Tremble in fear before us Narklarians, for I am Lord Nark! Lord of the Neckbeard Fedora Empire! We, the Narklarians, are the immortal apex race of the universe. Since we are superior to all other species, we demand all the lesser species to be exterminated. And so, we have come to invade Earth and kill you all, due to the fact we are a bunch of elitist, fat bastards that are so bored we have nothing better to do than bully primitive species like you, that have not yet obtained an intergalactic civilization. Also, because we all have small three inch penises, as a result we hate all sapient species that look thin and sexy and have bigger penises than us! Thus, there shall be no negotiations nor mercy, prepare yourselves to face your end you far too sexy humans!"

Lord Nark took a deep breath just before letting out a very loud fart with his four asses. After that, he took the time to scratch his neckbeard, followed by tipping his fedora before continuing.

"Also you humans are all evil bastards! Are bad for the environment and are all greedy warlike savages who are destroying your world. So, we are doing the universe a favor by exterminating you. And we can morally justify committing xenocide on you because we are superior to you in every way. I only wish there was some way to turn all you evil humans into Narklarians, but there isn't. So, we're just going to kill you all instead."

Lord Nark closed his speech by belching loudly.

Tens of thousands of Narklarian lobster space ships descended into Earth's atmosphere, once they came near the ground they began firing big fucking red laser beam of doom much like a Reaper's laser. The lasers blew buildings the fuck up and vaporised any human being in contact with the lasers.

Panicking human civilians in city streets across the world fled in terror of the lobster machines on the ground chased after them as they fired laser beams at them and wildy snapped their claws, using them to tear apart droves of fleeing humans they managed to catch with their claws. All the while the lobster ships made terrifying 'whooping' sounds.

The militaries around the world were quick to engage the Narklarians. Unfortunately, the alien's magical fedoras made their space ships invincible, even when a tactical nuke hit one of them. Nonetheless, humanity wasn't going to die as crying pussies, so they fought on, even though they knew they could not win. Though, it was helped by the fact to see Narklarians infantry get slaughtered easily by the world's armed forces, it appeared they were very big targets that exploded fat everywhere if they were hit with even one bullet. Plus they themselves, could not hit anything with those stormtrooper rifles.

****

Meanwhile in another universe...

"Princess Celestia! The evil Neckbeard Fedora Empire are attacking our fetish!" yelled Princess Twilight Sparkle as she stormed into the throne room of Canterlot castle.

Celestia gasped in shock, "We must help our fetish immediately! I won't be able to sleep at night if I can't watch human porn anymore! We must come to the aid of humanity against these evil fat neckbeards!"

Within a very short amount of time, a huge armada of huge pony space ships in the shape of human penises were gathered in the sky above Canterlot. Princess Celestia's ship, was the biggest penis ship of them all. Three times the size of New York City, it's mere shadow covered all of Canterlot in darkness.

"My fellow human wankers! Today is the day us ponies show what happens when you mess with our fetish!" roared Celestia's voice across Canterlot. "Let's go and kill these monsters with no human fetish!"

A pink portal opened in the shape of a human penis, which the human penis space ships flew through it to engage the evil Narklarian fleet. The overconfident neckbeards charged at the pony's fleet, fortunately the rainbow lasers from human penis ships tore through the Narklarian fleet like a katana through butter.

Celestia, Twilight Sparkle and her friends had teleported themselves on board the Mothership to face Lord Nark.

"Ponies! Why are you doing this? We must kill all the evil humans!" pleaded Lord Nark with cum in his eyes.

"THEY ARE OUR FETISH!" the ponies screamed in the Royal Canterlot voice.

"Yeah! Leave our sexy humans alone!" yelled Rainbow Dash. The sexy pony that always brags about every human wanting to cum inside her.

"Humans are ugly!" yelled Lord Nark.

"HERESY!" they roared in the Royal Canterlot voice.

"Kill the darn heretic!" screamed Applejack.

The seven ponies turned around and blasted Lord Nark with rainbow lasers from their magical pony pussies, the pony pussies magical power came from their love for humanity.

"Noooooooooooooooo!" shouted Lord Nark.

When the blinding rainbow lasers died down, it revealed Lord Nark was actually Justin Bieber.

"Oh, I should have known!" Celestia growled angrily.

With that Celestia trotted forward, tore Justin Bieber's head off and threw it out a near by airlock. All the while, something totally amazing happened. The Narklarians began rapidly losing weight and turned back into the good alien known as a Nicolas Cage.

"Thank you for freeing us from that Justin Bieber demon! How can we ever repay you?" said a Nicolas Cage.

"Oh, I'll think of something..." she said sexfully while looking at him with bedroom eyes.

And then the ponies had sex with many Nicolas Cages and helped humanity rebuild and lots of human and pony sex happened.

The End