Rise of a Bounty Hunter

I awoke to strange sounds coming from downstairs. I checked my clock, 10:32 p.m. I left my room and walked over to the top of the stairs, baseball bat in hand. I saw some people snooping in the living room, hiding behind my couch. It looks like they're waiting for someone to come in through the front door. As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I recognized one of the intruders to be the strange pink haired girl from earlier. She appears to have brought friends, about forty of them.

I walk down the stairs, bat at my side, and attempt to listen in on their conversation. She's talking to a girl with a blond ponytail and a stetson. I'm more of a fedora guy, but I'm just an asshole.

"Are ya sure he lives here, Pinkie?" Alright, process of elimination labels the pink one as Pinkie. Good going brain, you figured out her name. Now let's find why she's here.

"Well, duh. I talked to Mayor Mare, and she said a new resident just moved in today." Shit, she didn't tell her what I do for money, did she? I'm going talk to her in the morning. At this point, another woman entered the conversation. Her hair was every shade of the rainbow, and she had cyan wings. I admit, wings hurt my feelings, for reasons I will discuss later.

"Well if he doesn't show up soon, I'm drinking the cider." Oh shit, they brought party juice. I start to walk from the stairs to the group. Pinkie appeared to twitch, and everybody is now quiet and hiding like they are getting ready to jump someone. As I continued my walk, I noticed a table covered in food to my right, with a plate of apples on it, so I grabbed one. I saw a space between the rainbow and pink girls. I crouched behind the couch.

Rainbow girl seemed to have noticed me, but was adverting her gaze. She must be intimidated by my beauty and grace. I take a bite from the apple.

"So, what's going on?" I asked, chewing the bits of apple in my mouth. It was really good, best apple I've ever had.

"We're waiting for new guy to come home." Okay, she thinks I'm out on the town.

"How long have you been here?" I am genuinely curious.

"About an hour." Oh, she's stealthy.

"Why?"

"His surprise 'Welcome to Ponyville' party silly." How did forty people carrying party supplies into my living room not wake me? I'm a very light, and paranoid, sleeper. At this point most of the room has noticed me. I took another bite of the apple.

"Well, it's not much of a surprise now." I state. She turns to look at me.

"Wait, you've been home all along?" Her eyes widen.

"Yeah, I was sleeping." I motioned a thumb up the stairs. She appears to have deflated.

"Dude, cool scars." The rainbow haired pegasus commented. How did she know about my scars? They're all under my... shirt. Well shit. I'm in my boxers.

"um, they're mostly work accidents." Mostly true. I have been in more awkward situations.

"How'd you get that one? It's pretty gnarly." She pointed at a long scar that ran from just under my left pectoral, to my left side, just under my rib cage.

"I was helping someone replace a broken window, a shard glass got loose and cut me." I slammed his head into the window, shattering it. He grips a piece of the shattered glass and rams it into my side. Sharp pain pulses through my body as I push with all my strength. The last memory of him is his scream as he falls six stories. "Other then that, it was a pretty easy job." Aw, memories.

"Why do you have a bat?" The pink one spoke up.

"Sports." I cleverly answered.

"But, why do you have it now?" Shit.

"I was anticipating sports?" I responded. The rainbow haired woman then added her blunt, but accurate assumption.

"He probably thought we were intruders and was prepared to beat our brains in." She finished with a grin on her face.

"I'm going to go get dressed, and then party and alcohol." I said as I made way for the stairs. I swear I heard the pink one 'inflate' as I walked off.

After grabbing some clothes, I headed into the bathroom. I stepped up to the mirror, razor in hand. My hair is extends just past my ears. It is rather shaggy, I'm going to have to cut it soon. I shaved the 5 o'clock shadow within minutes, and comb the black mop that is my head. I got dressed in a white t-shirt and black cargo pants, and headed downstairs. I was somewhat surprised at the sight.

"Um... Hello?" It was empty, the party stuff was still here. but the large crowd was gone. Now it's pretty hard to hide forty people in a small living room like this. Especially since I am very minimalistic when it comes to furniture. I walk up to the couch and sat down. There was a light giggle. I shot back up and spun on my heels to face the couch.

"Surprise!" She came out from between the cushions. She was hiding in the couch. I was on the floor from a near heart attack as I tried to make sense of this situation.

"Did I get ya?" It was a small couch. It wasn't hollow, I checked. There is no possible way she could have been in my couch.

"Pinkie, I think you broke him." Stetson broke my train of thought. I realized that every one had come out of hiding and the room was crowded now. Pinkies group of friends had grown by two, there is now a women with a really pretty dress and, I daresay, amazing purple hair. The other wore only what I could describe as smart clothes, Her hair was also a shade of purple with a pink streak through it. She had lavender wings. Wait is there some one hiding behind the pretty one? There is. She had long pink hair, It was a lighter shade of pink then Pinkie.

"How?" I started, but the smart looking one put up a hand to stop me.

"It's better to just let it go." She said. I will take her advice and forget the couch thing ever happened. Pinkie stood next to me and threw an arm around me and pointed to her friends.

"This is Applejack," She motioned toward stetson.

"Howdy," she tipped her hat.

"This is Rainbow Dash."

"Sup," she nodded.

"This is Rarity."

"Afternoon, darling." She's got a Canterlot accent, interesting.

"This is Twilight Sparkle." I Recognized that name, she's one of the fucking princesses. Should I bow? She doesn't seem to care that I'm not bowing.

"Hi," she said. Bowing now would awkward. I offer to shake her hand, and she shook my hand. Damn, If I had a bucket list.

"And this is Fluttershy." She leans closer to me and lowers her voice. "She's a bit skittish.

"Um... hello." I noticed she has yellow wings. I slumped a bit, but not noticeably. I have nothing against pegasi, but wings make me sad. Both of my parents were pegasi. I'm reminded of my own problems, and that I should call mom.

"Hello, my name is Rise." I introduced myself.

"Let's party!" Pinkie practically yelled into my ear.

After breaking away from the girls, I walked over to the table that housed the alcohol. After pouring myself a glass of arguably the best tasting cider I've ever had, I looked at the individuals littered about my home.

"This really is a nice town." I mutter as I take another sip.