Who am I? Or for that matter what am I?
Some days I can recall myself, I was a pony once. I had a life, I had family. I almost remember names, voices teasing on the edge of my consciousness.
Am I evil? Truly I no longer know myself.
Every time I join with a creature, I take on some of its memories and personality, their mind tries to repress my intrusion, I am forced into the parts of their mind they no longer wish to acknowledge. All the fears, the doubts, the dark thoughts they would not admit to themselves, I am forced to become them. As I take control I become what they fear themselves to be.
When I leave them, those dark parts remain with me.
As I pass through the years, The centuries even, I lose a little more of myself. There are only a few things about myself I can recall clearly, I was a pony, a was female, I am desperately alone...
I fear myself, I become a monster when I join with a host, every darkness of their souls is brought to the front. It tears my mind apart. So why must I seek a host again and again? Comfort...
I'm drawn to the warmth of their lives, the feeling of being loved. I miss simple things, a cup of coffee in the morning, the feel of wind on my coat, rain dripping from my mane...
I feel those things in teasing touches before the darkness once again sweeps me back.
Each host changes me in ways I fear yet I'm forced to seek out a body over and over. Am I just needy? Do I simply wish to steal the lives of those I possess? No I'm jealous. Has any pony ever felt true loneliness? I'm sure many have felt it for a time, but myself? I have been so alone for century's...
The Princesses are like a bright light to me, their goodness beckons me like a moth to the flame. The radiant warmth of Celestia, The kindness of Luna. They are universally loved, they sacrifice everything for those they rule. Is it so wrong of me to wish to feel that loving acceptance?
I know what I do is wrong, I know I forced Luna to be exiled. For a thousand years I felt her weep in sorrow, drawing more and more within herself and leaving me at the front of her mind. At that point she was little more than a puppet. Her body and power was mine...but I was alone...
The moon is such a lonely place, its quiet, there is no wind, all you see is the expanse of grey stone, when you look up, that beautiful world taunts you. So warm and full of life.
I began to care for Luna, she suffered so much up there. I knew I was the root of it but at the same time I blamed Celestia. She had the power to remove me yet banished us both to that lifeless rock. I watched Luna in such misery for a thousand years, is it any wonder I lashed out when I escaped? Is it any wonder I tried to bring out night-time eternal? The night sky was the one reason she stayed sane. I just wanted to make her smile again.
That group of pony friends stopped me. For that I am thankful, or I am when I remember myself. I tried to slow them, to deter them from their paths. I had the power to snuff out the light of there existence with a thought yet I played tricks, I never truly endangered them...
I shattered a cliff, knowing that the pegasi with them could save them, I created horrifying faces on trees to scare them off, only to have a happy pink pony laugh them away. I thrust a Manticore before them, only to see it tamed by an act of kindness that melted even my own jaded heart. I caused a serpent to turn a river into a raging torrent, a simple gift calmed the great beast. In desperation I even tried to lure that blue Pegasus away by offering her the thing that she most desired, only for her to chose her friends first. That ragtag group broke past everything I put in front of them.
The lavender unicorn crouched before a collection of rocks, The elements of harmony she called them.
Luna's memories showed me the elements, they had the power to send her back to that desolate place. I wouldn't allow that to happen! I took them from that young unicorn and I destroyed them.
Not even Luna seemed to know that the elements of harmony were not simply those balls of stone. They were the hearts, the very souls of the principles ponies embody. That I could not destroy.
Those friends showed power and bravery, everything I could not. When that prismatic beam struck us I screamed, not for myself, but for the thought of Luna being trapped there for another thousand years. I released her, using my soul to shield her from the magic.
I lay there, my form in broken pieces around Luna's small form. I held on until I saw Celestia forgive and accept her back. Luna was smiling, that is all I wished for.
Many forms have come and gone since that time and my mind is rarely clear. I drift through Equestria, seeking friendship and warmth yet unable to gain it by myself.
I'm aware in many worlds I have simply given up and become the monster they fear, in many I rule as a creature of darkness. In this reality I stand true to myself. I will not bow to the weight of all those dark memories and thoughts I'm crushed beneath, I will not break and become the thing they fear me to be.
What am I? I'm simply the thing your fear yourself to be, I am simply power with no sound mind holding me back. I'm what you are without the warmth of friendship and the light of love
Who am I? I truly don't know, I simply use the name you have all given me.
I am the Nightmare.
