It was the start of the day for Spike the puruple dragon of death, singled by Celesta’s golden sun making its way across sky of ponyvill.
Spike was woken up the sound of his boss/master, Twilight Sparkle, calling him from the first floor of the libary.
“SPIKE!” Twilight called. Spike stirred from his little basket bed, but did not wake up.
Twilight Sparkle yelled again. “SPIKE! Come down here right now, you little fucken fucker!”.
Spike still did not stir. He was having a nive dream that he was raping Applebloom.
“SPIKE! Get your lazy ass down here! I have a hang over, and I need to drink it off! Go to the ghetto and get me some cider!” Twilight Sparkle yelled. Spike still did not get up.
“That fucker better be dead, or I’ll make him.” Twilight mumbled as she walked up the stares. When she reached Spike, she threw him out the window. Thus began Spike’s bad day.
When Spike retuned from the ghetto, he had a brown paper bag, and rubbing his ass. He entered the library, and slammed the bag on the table.
Now, Twilight was doing pot.
“Spike..What gives man…” Twilight said. Spike coughed a lot before saying:
“Well*cough*I was in the ghetto*Cough*And I got raped. Here is your cider.”
“Let me tell you how many fucks a give. None. Naw man, get me some pizza from the pizza train at the market now. I got the munches” Twilight said. Spike walked out to go do that job, leaving a trall of pot smoke in his wake.
Spike was at the black market. It was black because only Zebras used it. Spike located Zecora, who was the keeper of the pizza train, and walked over to her.
“One Pizza.” Spike said.
“If only one pizza you acquire, than you life is quite dire.” Zecora said.
“Just give me the fucken pizza.” Spike said, and handed her ten bits.
“Those bits are fake, and I know your fate.” Zecora said.
“Talk normal, Zercora!” Spike commanded.
“NO! I now talk in…stop being a hulk!” Zecona commanded. Spike took the pizza, and ran out of the back market.
Spike went about, running deeds for Twilight. After the pizza, Spike had to clean out the basement.
“Its all dark and shit down there.” Spike said. The basment wasint the same from the time when Pinkie Pie used it to make cupcakes.
“We all” Twilight lit up a joint. “Have things that we don’t want to do and shit.Like man, I don’t want to do pot, but I need to do it.” Twilight puffed again.
“You need to go to rehab!” Spike said.
“LOL, I don’t have a problem:}” Twilight said. “Haters gona hate! :>”
“Look, now you are talking in Text talk. You never did that!” Spike protested.
"(\/);;(\/) LOL it is a crap" Twilight said.
Spike hade one last bit of evidence to take Twilight to rehab.
“Twilight, how are you doing to day?” Spike asked.
“Good.” Twilight said with a puff.
“SEE! Grammar mistake! You would have said Well! Not Good! That is not good! You are going to go to rehab!” Spike said, and led Twilight out the door.
Spike didn’t give two fucks for Twilight, he just did not want to clean the basement.
Spike dropped Twilight off at rehab, and paid a visit to Rarity. As Spike entered the Caresill bouquet, he saw something that shocked him.
“Rarity, you never told me that you were a guy!” Spike said in astonishment. Rarity was clopping. Spike was so astonished that he ran out the door, and ran to sweet apple acros.
He was AppleJack bucking.
"Hey AppleJack!" Spike called. "What's up bro?"
"Get away Spike." AppleJack called.
Because he leaned that Twilight had a drug addiction, and Rarity was a guy, Spike wrote a letter to Princes Celestial.
Dear Princes Celestial.
TIL That Rarity is a guy.
Spike
