Cuddles 3: The Final Cuddle

by Jay David

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Slice of Life, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Spike
Length: 3035

The cuddling human returns for a final encounter

The anonymous human, and his unquenchable need to cuddle, has been thwarted twice now. But soon, he is unleashed upon Ponyville once more, spreading his special brand of cuddly terror across anypony who encounters him. As Twilight and her friends struggle to contain the threat, one question remains on everypony's lips:

Just how ridiculous and overblown can this problem get?

Published 2015-03-15 22:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-15 22:20:01 UTC

Cuddles 3: The Final Cuddle

Peace and quiet. That was one of the things Twilight Sparkle loved more than anything else. Just a quiet moment in the afternoon, curling up with a good book. And today, that was exactly what she was doing. However, this was no steamy romance or ages-old history book she was delving into. No, this was a book on all the creatures known to ponykind. For it was in these pages, she hoped, that would contain the secret to dealing with a problem she'd been having to put up with for some time now. And that problem, for now at least, was safely locked away in her basement. Okay Twilight, she thought to herself, you just need to figure out a way to send him home permanently. No biggie, right? At least that's what she kept on telling herself, for she knew that her "visitor" had already returned to Equestria once, though how, she didn't know. Regardless, his presence was becoming a problem for her and her friends, so it was her duty to see him gone for good. Unfortunately for her, her peaceful reading time was promptly interrupted by the sudden and unexpected arrival of a familiar yet bubbly high-pitched voice.

"HIYA!!!"

Letting out a loud yelp, Twilight backed away from her book, greatly started by the arrival of her friend, Pinkie. Although initially annoyed, Twilight had nevertheless got used to this sort of behaviour, and as such took a deep breath before addressing her.

"Pinkie, you really should announce yourself less...enthusiastically."

Pinkie let out a snort at that.

"Yeah, right! Where's the fun in that?"

Twilight shook her head a little before getting back to her book.

"So, what brings you here? Something I can help with?"

Pinkie started bouncing in a circle around Twilight while wearing her usual smile.

"Nope! Just wanted to hang out I guess. I just got done playing the all-time best game of hide and seek ever!"

Twilight let out a chuckle while continuing to read her book.

"Oh yeah? Who with, Rainbow?"

It was here that Pinkie stopped bouncing, turning to Twilight while shaking her head.

"No, silly! I played it with your new pet!"

Twilight nodded to acknowledge that, but it was only after reading a few more lines on her current page that she truly took in Pinkie's words, turning to her with a confused look on her face.

"Pet? What pet?"

Still smiling, Pinkie answered.

"Duh! That hairless monkey thing in your basement of course! Though I gotta say, Twi, it was really mean of you to put him in a cage like that."

A few more moments passed as Twilight stared at Pinkie, watching her continue to smile as her words began to sink in deeper into her mind. Her eyes widened with a look of shock and horror as a terrible possibility made itself known in her thoughts, and before she knew it, she'd jumped out of her chair, running straight past Pinkie and towards the door of her basement. Pinkie watched with curiosity as Twilight magically caused the door to burst open, shortly before running down inside as fast as her hooves could take her. Down and down she went, before finally reaching the basement, and when she got there, she gasped loudly. It was as she feared; the cage was open. The human was nowhere to be seen, even as Twilight ran around the place, frantically searching for him. She started breathing heavily, and not even the calming trick taught to her by her sister-in-law Cadence could snap her out of it. Meanwhile, Pinkie had followed Twilight down here, still as oblivious as ever to her friend's current predicament.

"You know, Twilight, you should really get somepony down here to dust every once in a while."

Twilight spun around immediately after hearing that, taking a step forward before addressing Pinkie.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?! I was this close to finding a way of sending him back, and now he's out!”

It was at this point that Pinkie finally started to sense the worry in Twilight’s voice, as her smile began to fade somewhat.

"I'm...I'm sorry. It's just he was all locked up and alone."

Twilight wanted to be mad at her, to keep on yelling, but it was no use. Once Pinkie started getting sad about something, it was virtually impossible for anypony to stay angry at her. As such, Twilight just let out a groan before looking up at her again.

"I know you meant well, but you have to realise that him being out is a very bad thing. Let's just hope we can catch him before..."

But Twilight was unable to finish those words, as she was interrupted by the distinct sound of somepony screaming loudly. Both Twilight and Pinkie snapped their heads in the direction of the door upstairs, and after giving each other a look, they silently nodded before running together. Up the stairs they went, re-emerging back in the main room of the library before darting outside. The day was passing and the sun on the very edge of setting, but even so, it was sill clear enough to see what was going on. The streets surrounding Twilight's home were virtually empty save for one or two mares and stallions walking about, and as such it didn't take long for Twilight to spot where the scream had come from. There, lying on the ground not far from them, was a familiar pink mare with a blonde mane. Running towards her, Twilight looked upon the mare with concern on her face.

"Daisy! What happened?!"

The mare, Daisy, did as she was famous for doing, and began to speak and move in a very dramatic way.

"It...it was horrible! I was walking home, and suddenly, out of nowhere, this...this thing appears and jumps towards me!"

Twilight looked around, already suspecting what it was that Daisy had encountered. But like in her basement, there was nothing to be seen. Turning back to the fallen mare, she took a step forward and placed a hoof upon her shoulder, trying to calm her down.

"It's okay, Daisy. Just tell us. What did he do?"

Daisy looked up at her, looking as if she was too scared to even think about that. But, in time, she finally managed to get her words out. Unfortunately, they were exactly what Twilight had feared.

"He...he...he...CUDDLED ME!!!"

Twilight gasped upon hearing that, as did Pinkie. By Faust, Twilight thought, this is even worse than I feared it would be. However, before she could dwell on that, she began to hear the sound of approaching hoof-steps. Turning, she saw that it was her friends, Spike, Rainbow, Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack. All of them were running towards her, bearing looks of concern, especially as they looked down to see Daisy crying on the ground. When they finally reached her, Applejack spoke first.

"Twilight? What in tarnation is goin on?"

Twilight looked down to Daisy again before speaking up to her friends.

"We have an escaped creature in Ponyville. A human."

Some of them, like Rarity and Applejack, looked at each other with confused expressions. Fluttershy and Rainbow, however, looked at Twilight as if she'd just told them it was the end of the world, with Fluttershy letting out her usual "eep" after hearing her. Twilight understood the reason, as both of her pegasi friends had been on the receiving end of this human before. Rainbow did her best to try and comfort Fluttershy, but it was clear that this was a bad situation for all of them. However, it was Spike who spoke up about all this.

"So...the thing has escaped. What do we do?"

Twilight turned away and thought long and hard about that. In truth, there was something about this whole mess she knew her friends needed to be made aware of. But doubt gnawed at her as she considered that. Should I tell them? I don’t want to cause them undue alarm. But if this thing is loose, they have to know the dangers. Turning back to her friends, Twilight took a deep breath before addressing them.

"There's something you should all know. This creature, the human, it cuddles. That seems to be it's prime motivation for being in our world. I informed Princess Celestia about it after our first encounter with him, and she sent me some documents about their kind. As I researched them, I came to understand something."

Her friends all looked to each other, somewhat worried about the serious way in which Twilight was talking about this. Daisy, meanwhile, was slinking off back home, squealing with fear over everything she came across on her way there. Twilight, after making sure that only her friends were here to hear this, took a deep breath before continuing.

"Humans don't just cuddle because of impulse. They draw some kind of special energy from it, like how a Changeling might feed off love."

Her friends all seemed enraptured with what she was telling them, except for Spike, who stared at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Seriously? There's cuddle energy now?"

Twilight gave him a well-earned "shush" for that, before continuing to explain things.

"But the thing about all this is, they gain more and more energy the more they cuddle. The softer and more adorable the cuddlee, the stronger the cuddler becomes. Eventually, it'll reach a point where the cuddler has gained so much cuddle energy, so much power, that they'll reach critical mass."

Spike looked around at everypony as his friend was explaining herself.

"Seriously? This is what we're going with?"

That, needless to say, earned him another "shush" from Twilight, after which, Fluttershy meekly stepped forward and spoke up.

"Um...what happens when he cuddles enough ponies?"

Twilight let out a sigh, knowing that this would be the hardest thing of all to tell them.

"When that happens...he'll have gained enough power to change into what the ancient legends called...the great cuddle."

There were gasps all around, save for Spike of course.

"There are ancient legends about this? When did that happen?"

This time, Twilight just ignored him, and carried on speaking.

"When he becomes the great cuddle, he'll be...everywhere. He'll have become a constant point to all ponies. Present in any place where a pony may be, he'll be there, cuddling us for the rest of our lives."

Her friends looked at her with expressions of terror, while Spike just let out a groan.

"Remember when this used to be simple? Just a human cuddling ponies? Good times."

Ignoring the young dragon, Rarity stepped forward and started speaking.

"Do you mean to tell us that, if we don't stop this creature, he'll be cuddling us forever? All ponies, everywhere, at the same time? As in thousands upon thousands of the same human...all over Equestria?!"

A single grim nod was all Twilight gave in response to her friend's question, leading to one of Rarity's classic fainting moments. Sadly, there was no soft couch for her this time, so she inevitably landed on Spike instead, knocking the young dragon out immediately. Oblivious to the youth's plight, Rainbow stepped forward with a determined look on her face.

"Well then, what are we waiting for? Let's go out there and teach that human a thing or two about messing with ponies!"

The way she slammed one hoof into another made it clear what she had in mind for the guy, but Twilight raised a hoof, stopping her.

"No, Rainbow. If we get too close, he could latch onto us and cuddle immediately. We can't take the risk. Right now, we have to make sure he stays as far away from other ponies as possible. Hopefully, he's still in town so we can contain him."

Rainbow huffed at that, showing clear irritation at not simply being able to attack the problem. Twilight, meanwhile, thought hard about what to do next. Eventually, she thought of something, and a smile came to her face as she started walking away from the group. Although confused at first, all of her friends understood as she began to concentrate, her horn glowing it's usual purple, signalling the casting of a spell. Taking a deep breath, Twilight began to speak, and it was here that her friends understood what was happening, as her magic had begun to amplify her voice, making it incredibly loud.

"Attention Ponyville! This is Twilight Sparkle! There is a human loose in the town! I repeat, there is a human loose in the town. For the time being, I must ask that all of you remain in your homes and lock your doors. Do not come out until I give the all-clear!"

It took a few moments, but there were clear signs that Twilight's message had taken root, as everywhere there could be seen lights going out in homes all around, as well as the sudden urgency of mares and stallions to get home as fast as possible. Satisfied with how this had gone, Twilight smiled to herself before turning towards her friends. She raised a hoof and pointed towards her home, and all of them got the message. They began to run in unison towards the library, with Spike catching up behind after having regained consciousness. With all seven of them inside, Twilight used her magic to shut the door tightly behind her, conjuring many locks and other items to secure it further. After making sure the door wasn't going to open anytime soon, Twilight let out as sigh before moving towards the book she'd been reading earlier.

"With luck, I’ll be able to figure out a way to send him back permanently. Or, at the very least, keep him away from other ponies long enough for the Princesses themselves to intervene."

Her friends nodded at that, huddling around Twilight to get a better look at the book she was reading. Spike, still nursing the spot on his head where Rarity had landed on him, took a seat and wasn't really paying attention to the rest of them. However, something soon caught his notice nearby, and he began to speak up.

"Um...Twilight? How long has that window been open?"

Twilight, as well as the other mares, all looked to where Spike was facing. Sure enough, there was one of her window, wide open and letting in the cool night-time air. A shiver passed down Twilight's spine from seeing that, and her eyes darted about the room. No! It couldn't be! He can't be...here! All of the mares seemed to have the same thought, as they too began frantically searching around for who they now knew was in here with them. Time passed and still no sign though. For a moment, they felt a brief spark of relief over it, but it was short lived as all of them heard the sound of creaking wood above them. Slowly, they all turned their heads upwards, and as they did so, their eyes widened with shock. For there he was, the human himself, clinging to the ceiling like a spider, and looking down on them with that same contented smile he always wore.

"Cuddles!" he called out.

All of the mares screamed as he dropped from the ceiling, arms outstretched as he approached them. They had no time to flee, an in an instant, he was on them, embracing them tightly. Cuddling six mares at once must have sent him over the edge at that point, for moments later, Twilight's fears were realised. There was a blinding flash of light as the human practically erupted in a dazzling display of magic, sending shockwaves in all directions, to every corner of Equestria. Everypony, everywhere, no matter who or what they were doing, was struck with this new and powerful magic. And when it finally reached the outermost borders of their world, it finally stopped. When the light faded and the dust had cleared, all ponies opened their eyes to see their predicament. It was as Twilight had predicted, the human had indeed been placed in all points of Equestria, wherever a mare, stallion or foal could be found. He was there, cuddling them tightly, smiling and humming contentedly. Farmers in their fields, pegasi in the sky, fillies and colts in their classrooms, even the Princesses themselves all now had the exact same human upon them, wrapping his arms around them and holding them close, nuzzling their manes and speaking only one thing throughout it all.

"Hmmm...soft."

As for Twilight and her friends, they too were experiencing this problem. Although initially shocked at the sight of six identical copies of the same human in that room, they were soon instead focused on the fact that, like before, they were trapped within his grasp. Some, like Rainbow and Applejack, tried forcing their way out, but the hold was too strong. Fluttershy tried meekly asking him to release her, but he was too distracted with cuddling her to notice. Rarity had fainted yet again, and thus offered no resistance whatsoever. As for Twilight, she tried teleporting, but once more found that it simply teleported the human along with her. She groaned at that, instead resorting to trying to nudge the guy's head out of her mane with a hoof. Unfortunately, he just snapped back in there, still smiling all the way. Snorting in frustration, Twilight looked on to see Spike watching the whole thing, doing his best to hold back what looked like laughter.

"So...this is your life now?"

Twilight looked to her own human before looking at all of the others, who were still cuddling her friends, after which she let out a sigh before nodding. Still struggling to hold back the laughter, Spike spoke again.

"Every pony in existence cuddled for all eternity by the same human at the same time?"

Another nod from Twilight, and Spike continued.

"Well, look at it this way...at least he's happy."

Twilight narrowed her eyes at that before turning to her cuddling human.

"Why do you even do this?"

And for the first time, the human answered.

"Because you ponies are adorable. What better reason is there?"