"TwiiiLIIIGHT, Sp~aarrrkleeeee~!" Twilight Sparkle blitz her foes leaving the rest of the mare 6 behind.
"Apple a applele, apple a applelel"
Twilight nods, now surrounded by many a foe.
"Twilili twi lilight twi ligh" She twists her hat on her head and throws a telekinetic ball telekinetically, capturing one such foe~.
"Changeru~! Droneru~!"
"Pie pie PIE PIE PIE! Pinkinkinkie pie!"
" RAIn bOw, DASH!"
Twilight smiles smugly, confident in her ability.
"H.. hh h hhh hh~..." Fluttershy exclaims, surrounded by many a foe as well.
"Rainbow DASH!" Rainbow bucks an enemy knocking the rest it slams into over. Smiles brows furrowed, confidently.
"Ra ri~, rara rity."
Dash puts her hooves to her hips. "Rainbow~ Dash~.." She rolls her eyes.
Rarity nods eyes closed, points to Applejack. "Rarity rari ty ty rarity-"
Pinkie interrupts, "PIE! PIE PIE PINKIE PI PIE!"
"Rarity..."
They are now outnumbered 300 to 1.
"PINK! IE! PINKIE!" They all charge at their foes, save for Fluttershy who tries to move away only to end up in a battle as well.
They easily defeat their foes.. Too easily..
"Twi sparkle.."
They run up hill and spot a 2-d green dorito with an eye in the middle of it.
"TWILIGHT SPARKLE!"
"TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?!" All the changelings turn into Chuck Norris with shades on, each one dressed differently and of a different age, and with different jewelry on. There sits a ruby on a pedestal behind the dorito up the pyramid with an imprisoned authentic Chuck Norris behind it, whilst glowing divinely.
Twilight turns around to address her friends, looking to each of them. "Twilight sparkle twilight sparkle." They nod as she looks at them, them carefully taking in her words. "Twililight sparkle. Twilight sparklel. Twilight sparkle." They sniffle, each one aware of the dangers. "TWI TWILIGHT SPARKLE!!" Her friends yell their names in response, all of them lifting a hoof up, their battle cry.
Twilight adjusts the hat on her head, pulls her hoove back, throws a 3-d spatial orb forth summoning Changeling Drone.
"Do you even lift bro?" Its eyes squinting, a can of mountain dew is shaken and shoots its frothy innards at Changeling Drone.
"TWIIIIIILIGHTTTTTTTT!!!" The drone gets knocked back by the frothy substance, and froths at the mouth. Twilight Sparkle approaches the drone clearly upset by its hurt. "Twilight sparkle..."
"Change..."
"TWIIIILIGHHTTTT!!" She gets so angry she turns into a ponyta. She throws half her bits at the dewrito that she owed it, and did over nien thousand damage.
Meanwhile her friends fight Chuck Norri.
"PIE!"
"RAINBOW, DASh!"
"Rarity~"
"H.. hhhhh.."
"APPLE apple apple apple!"
The Chuck Norri were crushed, 5 of the 6 now wearing chains, hats, putting on axe, and/or 420ing.
"Fluttershy~" 5 of the 6 nod. Twilight looks up.
"PonyTa..."
"Flu fluttershy, flu flu fluttershy, shy shy shy flut ut tter." The rest nod or exclaim their agreement. Ponyta regains her confidence.
"PONYTA!" Dewrito looks on barely surprised. The captive Chuck Norris barely conscious looks up seeing his rescuers, heeding her wise words.
"Pon ponyta. Pon pon pon, ponyta, pony pony ponyta."
The elements of 420 360 appear. They all glow dankly. One coughs.
"Damn son, where'd you find this?"
"Dank Ponyta."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!...." The trippy dankness hits Dewrito, him cracking apart to reveal Spoderman.
"Wait, please stop. Actually is Spoderman" The mane 6 are all shocked, sad air horns ablaze. "The illuminato took me and put me inside divine scrumptious dewrito and now I am here one with dewrito." The mane 6 divinely and respectfully in their original forms carry Spoderman in his casket to the ruby. "And my heart and soul is full of friendships." The cast wipes away their tears. So do the ponies.
She continues, "Dewrito is love, dewrito is life. Now I know you are wondering because I am wondering the same question too. But if I? Am. Kill. Then. Who. Was. Phone?" The whos from whoville invade and four twenty blaze it three sixty no scope it, and Owlowiscious is leading them, wearing a pimp hat.
"...... Hoo." The whos from whoville run with strapped on vests rigged with explosives running at the mane six, detonators in hand.
"Twilight sparkle!" The mane six direct their attention to Twilight Sparkle. "Twilight sparkle, twilight sparkle!" She runs towards the ruby.
Owlowiscious flies for her, but five of the six block his path. The whos continue charging, running my Owlowiscious. Rarity telekinetically presses their detonation triggers.
'HOOOO!!!!' Owlowiscious blasts off again.
Twilight Sparkle touches the ruby. Eisuke Harukawa appears.
"My little ponies~!" The ponies eat him.
"NUUUUUUU!"
Lyra speaks to Derpy.
"For sake of variation." Derpy aptly humbly nods.
Lyra continues reading.
Lyra not knowing what to say. "This was... quite.. the long read".
*ENDING CREDITS*
Derpy Ronald Mcdonald
Lyra Shuma Gorath
Lauren Faust Dwight L. Sparkle
Teletubbies Mane Sicks
Gorilla Rainbow Dash
Discord Pinkie Pie
Dewrito Spoderman
Flying Sphaghetti Monster Chuck Norris
Rainbow Dash Skrillex
Twilight Spankle Twilight Cankle
Zecora Dr. Seuss
Pinkie Pie Zecora
Big Mac Hamburgler
THE END...
A hoove rises out of its grave...
"There are still some quickscopes left in me..." Dewrito crumbs crawls out, a pony with a mountain dew cutie mark and a black semi-transparent mane that doubles as shades.
Rainbow Dash flies down before Dewrito the thirth. "OMG my quickscoping hero!" Except it wasn't Rainbow Dash, it was a glitch, an eldritch abomination of a form similar to missingno. which flickers between multiple forms based upon its masters name.
Dewrito looks into the heavens using the ability Pinkie Sense. Dewrito sees it so clearly.
The gamer is hacking.
"I CAN STILL NOSCOPE YOU!!!~! 1v1 me on FeO2 m8." They teleport with dbz sound effects to the mw2 map rust.
Hax calls It. It joins lobby.
"2v1, cheeky m8, I can still noscope you, swear on me mums. Dewrito swear." Silence reigned, for the match countdown was still active. Yet It and Hax are running towards him from across the map before it starts. Dewrito did not suspect this, but was prepared.
Pulling up their scopeless rifles of one-shot-ness right when the match starts they pull the trigger... and miss.
Hax and It are shocked, but keep shooting past the speed limit at over nine thousand scopes per minute.
None of their shots land for their recoil was too high. N00bs the lot of them.
Now lobby is full.
Guns blazing, 17:1, none land a single shot on Dewrito Crumbs for Dewrito's cutie mark is too mlgpro.
They hath expecteth Dewrito to sprint or dropshot, they hathn't thought this would happen though. Dewrito Crumbs jump crouched dodging all of their first shots, the recoil making the rest of their shots inaccurate. Turn down for what. Dewrito repeats this simple trick constantly, his ethereal controller almost breaking, blazing hooves moving at the speed of light. They played for 40 days and 40 nights, all the noobs called it quits and got friends to replace them. Hax n It tried to match Dewrito's stamina, but they came a thousand years too early to challenge Dewrito's hooving abilities. It nearly dieing of thirst 5 dew and fingers broken, smashes controller to screen, shortting the console out and exploding his universe. Hax met the same f8 via a different means, from overhaxing his cpu to load the game full of cheats, full rapid fire shotguns spraying from all directions around Dewrito Crumbs with infinite range and damage per pellet. Dewrito still dodges, this time, by 360ing so fast it caused Hax's cpu to overheat more than its overclocking could handle. Because Dewrito Crumbs plays with the largest dpi possible at 9999, with the in game settings sensitivity also maxed out. Truth is he was hiding his power level.
Upon the defeat of Hax the lobby closes.
Ponyville is safe once again.
