Parkouring.
For those of you that don’t know, though seriously, who doesn’t know about this?
Parkour is essentially the activity of getting from one point to another in the fastest way possible using only your physical body and that of the environment of that around you. And no you can’t just go, ‘Well I’ll just get in a car and drive, its using my body and the car in the environment hurr durr’.
No dumbass, I’m talking about using just your body, any muscles and flexibility you’ve gained at your age to climb, run, jump, and grapple your way around the environment you find yourself in. Most people know that generally parkouring in the city offers the biggest advantage as there is more then dozens of ways to get around relatively safely without the chance of scraping your face off. I’m mean seriously, there’s dozens of videos on You tube with people doing some insane movies, and it’s just nuts.
Hell, my best friend used to parkour or maybe still does, and we lived in a town were the tallest building was a four story.
Now, your probably wondering why I’m talking about this. Well, let me ask you this. Ever parkour with a jump kit on your back?
Right, you probably don’t know what that is. Let me explain. It’s a jetpack. An honest to god ‘rockets on your back’ flying through the air jetpack. Now your probably saying, ‘But jetpacks don’t exist yet’ and you’d be right.
They don’t. Not in my original universe anyways.
Dom…
Now I threw you for a loop there right? Now before your brain enters catastrophic meltdown from the fuckdickery I just stated, let me back up a little.
Ok, so…have you ever played Titanfall?
You know, the video game developed by Respawn Entertainment? Only availably on PC and Xbox? Helped by one of the creators of the god awful Call of Duty series? I’m mean come on. Ghosts? The hell was that crap.
But anyways, you know, Titanfall?
Game about futuristic humans colonizing planets across the solar systems only to end up breaking out into war? Wow, that actually sounds unusually similar premise to quite a few other games, but the main point is, they fight with giant robot mechs that would make the ones in the movie Avatar shit bricks?
Yeah, that game. Played it?
I have. Or did. Whatever the case. Gotta say, I enjoyed it! Your pilot character gets to jump around parkouring across the map like some ninja on roids while the giant player controlled mechs duke it out in the streets, rockets and explosions everywhere. Those were some good times of general craziness.
Dom…
Getting to the main point of course, I now more or less live and breath Titanfall. No, not because I’m in my mother’s basement hamming out on some cheetos while shouting at some newbs in my mic, no it’s just not that simple.
You see…
I’m an IMC pilot.
The rifleman class to be specific.
Once again, I’m going to kindly ask you to hold off on your claims of bullshit and fuckdickery so I can ask you this question.
Have you heard about the people disappearing at comic cons and conventions? Just up and vanish? Police couldn’t find anything? Families petitioning to post pone conventions until they could find the kidnapper, serial killer or whatever?
Well. I was one of those people that disappeared. Correction, we were one of those people to disappear.
Dominic…
It…it was just supposed to be a regular convention you know? Dress up like some character from a video game you enjoyed, spend money out the bunghole for the costume and anything nice the booths are selling…It was just supposed to be a fun time, mind you a bit hectic with all the people, but enjoyable nonetheless. Didn’t expect to be dragged into this world. Or bring my friend with me. Whether she wanted to or no-
DOMINIC!
“What what is it!?!” I shrieked in the manliest way possible, attempting to stand in my cramped space only to have my helmet hit the ceiling with a metallic clang. Slumping back in my seat from the sudden ringing around my head, Jessy spoke up again.
“Why did you hit me?” Her curious, if not slightly irritated voice echoed all around me, carrying that hint of robotics I had grown used to.
“I hit my head. If anything though, you hit me” I replied sarcastically, nursing my head in my gloved hands. I heard the faint sound of metal hitting metal, it what I had come to recognize as her form of a facepalm. With the sound of metal scraping of her faceplate, she spoke again.
“Now is really not the time for jokes. Something’s happening” Her serious tone immediately grabbed my attention, though the snarky part of my brain was questioning this statement.
“Are we finally going to be hit by an asteroid?” Snarky beat serious to my voice.
The groan I felt and heard around me was the answer to my question.
“No were not. And besides, we’d more then likely be hit by a meteoroid then an asteroid, those things are much smaller” she informed me, causing my eyebrow to raise underneath my helmet.
“So…?” I spoke in no direction in particular. There was a small silence around me, and I assumed she was trying to find the best way to tell me what exactly was ‘happening’. Finally though, after what felt like much longer then the time that passed, her slightly robotic voice intoned, “Well, I’m not quite sure how to tell you without you freaking out, so…just take a look for yourself”.
Suddenly, light poured into the darkened area I was in, the lights from my helmet being completely washed away by the tidalwave of greens and blues that flooded my vision. Immedialty, the HUD was brought to life, and I found myself staring at the screen that displayed a looming planet before me, from were you wouldn’t believe.
Space. Somewhere in the upper atmosphere I believe. Except, this image was way closer to what I was used to.
“No way” I felt the words escape my mouth and leaned forward in my seat, if only to get a minuscule amount closer to the planet we rotated.
“Yep, I thought you’d be surprised” Jessy mused, her voice practically conveying her smile. I could hardly contain my excitement, joy, happiness at seeing that freaking ball of rock. My hands slightly shook as I touched the screen, small unnoticeable ripples appearing where my fingers connected.
“We got pulled into orbit this morning. I wanted to be sure I was correct before I woke you”
My mind barely registered her phrase, but after a few seconds, I removed myself from the view of the HUD, and looked up, only seeing metal and armor of course.
“You mean?” I asked, trying to keep the shakiness and trepidation out of my voice.
“Yep. We’re being pulled back toward the planet. Probably make reentry soon” Just as she spoke, everything shuddered somewhat, a general vibration going all around me. Though with me practically jumping in my seat, I couldn’t care less. “Speak of the devil...” she muttered.
There was a momentary pause as I sat steadily in my seat before breaking out into completely necessary fist-pumping.
“Yes! Yes! Yes! Hell to the freaking yes!” I cried, my fist pumping like a piston.
The laughter I heard around me brought my smile to be practically full blown, my friend finding a good laugh out of my foolishness.
“Easy killer” she spoke, no doubt trying to hold off on my celebrations, “We still need to make it through orbit”
That was a brutal buzz kill to my elated mood.
“Wait, you mean you’re not sure we’ll make it?” I asked, concerned. I mean, we got up here ok the first time, admittedly ridiculously pissed, but not to worse for wear. Now she says we might not make reentry? That. Blows.
“Well…” she started unsure, even as I felt a slow shuddering begin to build up around us. “I’m not 100% sure we will make it, ok? I mean, a ton of things could go wrong, like, a lot. I could heat up too much, you could be knocked around too much in there…and if you go out, id…yeah…”
“Hey” I interrupted her before she could go any further down that path. “We will get through this, got it?” I spoke forcefully, offering no chance for argument. “This is nothing compared to what we’ve been through. We got this. You got this. We’re getting back down on that planet, and were going to punch those princesses’ lights out. Got it?”
I looked around the cockpit momentarily, trying to find were her voice would resonate from. The silence that continued for a few seconds unnerved me, but her voice suddenly speaking relieved me instantly.
“Yeah. Yeah you’re right. Sorry. You know how I get” Her voice resonated. I waved her off.
“It’s fine”
A sudden jolt rocked us both a little too much, both of us voicing our surprise and me my slight discomfort. Slowly, oranges started to wash over the HUD, and Jessy turned it off to avoid any chance of damaging the cameras. A sudden shift of metal groaning against metal caused me to ask Jessy what was up.
“I’m curling into a ball” she stated, “Just till we get in the lower atmosphere, might keep more of the heat off us”
Deferring to her judgment, I continued to brace myself, my armor feeling slightly inadequate as we flew through the atmosphere, creating a red dot in the sky.
Minutes passed as the shaking and rattling continued, numerous times I wanted to make sure she was ok, but I felt my friend would have told me if she was having any discomfort. Little did I know she was having the same feelings.
Suddenly, the shaking dropped dramatically, though I was slammed back into my seat as the feeling of weightlessness space provided was ripped away.
“Well, I think we made it” she spoke happily. “More or less” she just had to add, I could practically see her mischievous smirk.
“We’re finally back?! Oh hell yeah!” I shouted to the heavens, my voice echoing in the cockpit.
Laughing, she brought up the HUD once more, thankfully not damaged, showing the view of a rapidly approaching ground. Looks like we were headed toward a mountain range.
“You know…you can say it now, if you want” she practically nudged me, my face lighting up in recognition. It was something that you just could not say. I mean, this is serious business.
“You sure?” I double checked, because she did really hate it in the beginning. I could tell by the pause that she had rolled her eyes, just as she spoke “Yeah, go nuts”
The smile that appeared on my face would have made the joker proud and I sucked in the biggest breath I could through my suit’s respirator.
“IT’S TIME FOR TITANFALL!!!!!!!”
