I'm in... Equestria? Really?
"HOLY CRAP!" I yelled.
Hold on, you don't know who I am or what's going on do you? Well, allow me to explain. My name is Ryan, pleasure to meet you, and I know what you’re thinking right now, 'Wait... isn't he breaking the 4th wall?' Well, yes I am. Hey! It's my mind you’re in my head, I can do what I want. Anyway, back to the story at hand.
This adventure all started about six hours ago while I was riding my bike home from seven eleven. I was wearing my deep pocket jacket packed with my survival knife, my Gerber tool, my IPhone, my blue jeans, and my bright green T shirt. I was also wearing my bright green para-cord bracelet on my right wrist. While I was riding home I failed to notice the small ripple in reality that was forming directly ahead of me.
By the time I noticed this phenomenon it was too late, my front tire had already entered this tear in reality, and it sucked me in. Have you ever been sent through dimensions? let me tell you, it's not fun. It feels like you crashed into a brick wall on a bike and all of the molecules in your body are vibrating at an extremely high frequency, and your body feels like it's being ripped apart. Finally I lost consciousness.
When I woke up I noticed there was a full moon high in the middle of a starry night sky, and I was surrounded by apple trees; however, something seemed off about my surroundings. I couldn't put my finger on it, so I decided to get up and look around.
As I walked my bike around the uneven ground I noticed a red dot off in the distance. At this point I was just looking for any sign of civilization. As I got closer to this dot the sun started to rise over the horizon.
In the early morning light I realized that the red dot I saw earlier was actually a small barn, and next to that small barn was a short farm house. At this point I started to realize that the house looked familiar. I still couldn't connect where I had seen this house so, I set my bike down and walked up to the door.
Now, I’m normally tall, so I didn't think much of it when I had to crouch a little in order to knock on the door. I was surprised; however, to see a yellowish orange pony filly with a red mane and a bow answer the door.
And this brings us to where I started.
"HOLY CRAP!" I yelled.
I'm in Equestria (that's right, I know of the show) and this is Apple Bloom, and I need to find a way to communicate with my parents so they know I'm OK.
"Umm... Hi-."
"What are ya?" Applebloom interrupted.
"I'm a human," I explained. "Hey, is there anyone older in the house that I could talk to."
"Umm ya there is, hold on I'll go get Granny Smith."
At this point I was questioning my sanity. Perhaps I was sprawled out on the sidewalk near my house unconscious, perhaps I'm in a coma being sent to the hospital as I think. That would explain how I can break the 4th wall. I highly doubt this is real, it's probably my imagination and I need to just find a way out.
I was pulled from my thoughts as Applebloom returned with the old green mare Granny Smith. After that Applebloom ran off, I suppose she went to school.
Granny's first words were "well you’re a biggun."
"Yes I am, and I suppose I'm a bit displaced."
"Well come in and tell me about it, breakfast is still on the table and I'll introduce you to Big Mac. By the way, what's your name, mine is Granny Smith."
"My name is Ryan." I reply.
As I enter the house, my first impression is that it's cozy. It has a nice looking couch on the far wall, a Coffey table in front of the couch, a nice looking Apple rug with Apple wall paper, and a comfy looking rocking chair by the door. As we enter the kitchen the first thing I notice is a large red stallion sitting at the table, its Big Mac.
Granny Smith started by saying, "Hey Big Mac, I brought a guest named Ryan that says he ain't from around here."
"I'm looking for a way back home, any ideas?" I asked.
"Eenope" Big Mac responded.
"Well let's get some food in ya and we can take ya ta Twilight" Granny said
I thought that was as good an idea as any so I sat down and started to eat an Apple. I noticed that the two ponies were occasionally glancing at me.
"Never seen a human before have you?" I ask.
"Eenope" Big Mac replied.
Off in the corner Granny Smith had finished her meal, and was drifting off to sleep.
"Doesn't seem to faze you much that there is an unknown creature that is possibly quite dangerous in your family's kitchen,
does it?"
"Eenope"
"Figured I would have attacked by now if I was gonna harm you." I assumed.
"Eeyup"
"You’re the strong and silent type huh?"
"Eeyup"
"All ways good traits to have" I complimented.
The rest of breakfast passed in an awkward silence only broken on occasion by the light snores Granny Smith produced, eventually when it ended we decided to wake Granny Smith up. This was easier said than done. At first we tried to wake her up gently, when that didn't work we tried banging pots and pans together and it went on for a few minutes. Eventually I gave up.
"So" I start. “Should we just go to Twilight."
And as if she thought she had to give her consent, Granny Smith woke up telling Big Mac to take me to the Twilight residence.
And so we wandered there (completely forgetting my bike) in silence neither of us wanting to break the peace. During this walk I decided to take stock of what I had. Big Mac watched as I pulled out my phone, my Gerber tool, and my survival knife. He still seemed oddly calm that I had literally pulled out a 4 inch knife, but hey I wasn't complaining. After a few more minutes I started to see what looked like a crystal tree.
"Is that it?" I ask.
"Eeyup" Big Mac replied.
When we made it to the door I turned to Big Mac"Thanks for leading me here I'm sure you have a lot of work to do on your farm Big Mac, you can go I'll be fine."
"Eeyup"
After Big Mac leaves, I knock on the door, after waiting for a while the door is answered by the small green reptile known as spike.
"Who and what are you" he asks
"I'm Ryan and I am a human, who are you" I ask not wanting him to know about the show.
"I'm spike, is there a reason why you’re here?"
"Umm yes, I seem to be a bit displaced from my home."
"So you’re lost? Spike asked. "Come on we can go ask twilight if she has a map."
As we we're wondering I decided to start a conversation.
"Erm, a map isn't going to work" I inform.
"Well why not?"
"The last thing I remember before waking up in your friends Apple orchard, was riding my bike home, and feeling like I was stretching to the point that atoms were splitting."
"Umm" Spike replied “Well we can still ask Twilight, she might know something."
“That seems like a good idea.”
After that we walked through the halls to the throne room, and let me tell you, the building is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. It took us like ten minutes to reach the throne room door. When we got there spike asked me to wait outside because Twilight might be dealing with someone, I was fine with waiting for a bit so I sat down by the door.
After a few minutes the door opened again and spike called me in.
The first thing I noticed about the room was that it was massive; it looked to be the size of a small house. The next thing I noticed were the six mares in the room, all sitting on crystal thrones.
OK I have to make a good first impression.
“umm, hi”
Nice move twit
“Hello, I’m Princess Twilight Sparkle.”
“Ahm Applejack.”
“I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest flier in all Equestria”
“Hi! I’m Pinkie Pie and you're new here I have to throw mmphh-“Pinkie was cut off with a hoof on the mouth by Rainbow Dash.
“I’m Rarity darling.”
”I’m Fluttershy”
I simply nod and look at Twilight “I’m told you might be able to help me?”
“I might, it depends what your problem is, and by the way, what exactly are you?” Twilight asks.
“Well I’m a human, and I seem to be in the wrong dimension.” I reply.
After that they all just stare at me for a bit, except for pinkie pie, she was writing something down in a notebook.