I closed the umbrella and set it down beside me with my magic as the final drops of rain landed around me. No pony else was out because of the weather. I didn’t mind the rain, actually I loved it. It reminded me of her. I needed that because this was one of the hardest days of the year for me.
I've lived a long life and for the foreseeable future I’m going to continue doing just that. I’ve learned and lived, loved and lost just as many have before me and many will moving on. For me and those few who are like me, my immortal lifespan means that I will have loved and lost more than the average pony. Of course most would see this as a good thing, and Faust knows I try to see it that way. The good things outweigh the bad and I can look back at the wonderful life I’ve had and the wonderful ponies that I’ve known. Unfortunately, and especially on days like this, those losses can start to weigh down on you.
I never realized how much that would take its toll on me when I first became an Alicorn. I knew things would be different and they were at first, but then things pretty much got back to normal. It’s been a few centuries since then and so much has changed. Princess Celestia told me back then that it would be hard. She tried to let me know just how hard, but even though I was her star student there are some things that just can’t be taught.
I wish it were that easy. That has always been my strong suit. All of my life I’ve been able to figure out any problem with the help of knowledge. When the Princess asked if I was ready to accept more responsibility as a Princess myself, I knew I was. I did know the entire history of Equestria, after all. It didn’t take me long to become a master of governmental knowledge either, just a few weeks of day and night reading sessions in the Canterlot Archives.
But this wasn’t something I could just read about and then solve. There is no easy answer to loss.
“Hey.”
I turned around to see exactly the mare I was hoping to see. I hadn’t heard her walking up to me, but that’s not really surprising. I’ve been caught up in a lot recently, thinking about today. This wasn’t the first time I had been distant and I can’t imagine it will be the last. Everything I have to do as a Princess keeps me busy, but it’s easy compared to being a wife. You’d think that after all this time and all of the relationships I’ve had I’d have gotten a handle on that. Well that’s one more thing that you can’t just learn from a book. Believe me I tried.
“I’ve been looking all over for you. I’m sorry I didn’t remember what today was, I would have come out with you.” She said.
I smiled up at her. I knew she would have if I had told her, but I felt like this was something I needed to do alone. Or maybe I just didn’t want to bring up the past. “Its fine, I don’t expect you to know everything about my past wives,” I told her as I turned my head back around. I know she cares, but I meant what I said. There’s no way she could remember everything anyway and I wouldn’t ask her to do that.
“I hope you mean that, I know you’ve been around the block a few times and studying and memorizing lists is kinda your thing.” I couldn't believe the mirth in her voice as she said that. I thought about giving her some homework just to get back at her for the joke, but I settled for glaring at her as she chuckled and moved towards me. She sat down and my glare softened as she draped a wing around me. She’s the only pony that pokes fun at my age because she’s one of the only ponies that actually know how old I am and because she knows just how much I love her. Well, that and she’s the cockiest mare in Equestria. Apparently I have a type.
“Besides, every pegasus should know about her. She’s a legend! The fastest flier in all of Equestria even now, the only pony to ever pull off the sonic rainboom, and the first wife of Equestria’s most beautiful and smartest Princess.” Ohh, she’s good at flattery, all is forgiven. I smiled again as she punctuated her point by squeezing me tighter with her wing. “I’m not jealous. Well, maybe I am, but only because you got to know her.”
She always knows how to get me to laugh, too.
“I think she would have liked you.” I said between laughs. “She would never admit it to you, though. She was one to get jealous when it came to me.”
She chuckled again and just hearing that laugh made me realize how much I needed her right then. She looked at the stone in front of us and read from it softly.
“Loving Wife, Element of Loyalty, and the Most Awesome Pony in Equestria.”
I had been trying my hardest to keep it together but as soon as she read that I knew my chances of getting through that day without any tears were gone.
“She was awesome.” I finally broke down. She pulled me in tight and I cried softly into her shoulder. I don’t know how long we stayed like that. I could see the sunlight finally showing through the rain clouds, but I didn’t want to leave, not yet.
“Look.”
I lifted my head to look at her and then followed her gaze up into the sky. The sunlight that was breaking through the clouds was lighting up the rain that was left in the air. That was why I loved the rain, why it reminded me of her. Because of what always showed up when the sun started shining again.
“Happy Birthday Rainbow Dash.”
