It ain't easy bein green.

by ShadowsInTheDark

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Princess Luna, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Random, Violence, Crossover, Human, Main 6
Length: 2241

I'm here to bring da WAAAGH!!!. Oh sorry about that don't know what came over me, I guess that happens when you have been turned into an ork. But at lest I have some friends... I'm not even sure I would even call them that.

I have no idea what happened or how I got here all that I do know is I'm in a world full of talking horses.

Ya I thought I was crazy to or dreaming, but then stuff happed some blue horse with a horn and wings is after me. Not only that the ones with horns have magic!. Well good thing I live in this forest then.

One thing that keeps bugging me is how these three little horses, how in Gork an' Mork name do they keep finding me!?.

Published 2015-05-26 16:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2023-01-20 23:05:31 UTC

This was new.

This was new.

I was loving the sify con once I walked in side to see all the cool stuff there. Not only that but I was dressed up as one of my favourite race from warhammer 40k. I was a Ork Warboss I had over sized shoulder pads with foam spikes all over them. I had a over size mask that added to help me look like a ork with it over size jaw and teeth. On top of that on my head was a helmet with two long horns sticking out of the sides of it. I had a ork gun known as a big shooter it was made out of bits and bobs, it looked like it had two barrels attached together.

One barrel looked like a machine gun the one under it was a flam thrower. I even had black boots with cardboard spikes on them to I also painted them red along with my make shift armour of cardboard and foam. To top it all off I even had a cardboard chopper on my back. The big shoota as a strap around it so I could hang it over my shoulder when I get tired of holding it.

I was enjoying my self I always like dressing up but sadly the one thing missing from my outfit was a powerclaw. I sigh to myself as I lumber around looking at what around and taking some poses for people who wanted a picture with me. I even got to play some new video games that was not out yet. I then notice some guy who was arguing with a man dressed as that creepy guy from resident evil, what was that guy name again?.

I then saw the man who was arguing pick up what looks like a powerclaw but the man who was selling the thing try and take it back. Wait, is that guy trying to steal in the middle of a convention!?. I walk up to them but the both of them lose their grip on it and it slides along the floor right up to my feet. I blink as I look at it, this thing looked almost real I picked it up and put my left hand in side of it. I then saw the man who was arguing was given something and walk away.

I walked up to the stall owner and hold up the powerclaw that was on my left arm. "Can I buy this or do you want it back?." I asked.

The guy was giving off all kinds of warning bells going off inside my head as if I should stay as far away from this man and run as far as I can. Then the guy eyes lit up when he saw the prop on my arm at lest I think it a prop?. I then reach up to pull it off only it was stuck, what the hell?. No matter how hard I pulled it I can't seem to get the damn thing off!.

"What the hell it won't come off!." I then heard the stall owner laughing.

I looked up from the claw to look at him to ask what was so funny but the way he looked at me it scared me. I watched as he looked off some where else then back at me and when he spoke my god he even sounded like the guy from the game. "Thank you stranger, but we don't take back once a item as found it proper place."

The next thing I knew I was falling.

I groaned as I open my eyes and found I was face down in the mud. Well that just perfect I think to my self as I reach out with my right hand to wipe my face clean but something felt wrong. I could feel my face but it wasn't right it felt just wrong as I run my large fingers over my eye brow. Wait, my fingers were never this large?!.

I quickly get up on my feet and get a hold of a tree next to me to help me up but I didn't feel my hand grab the tree. I did however hear the sound of wood snapping and when I looked my powerclaw hand already sink in to it. My god the thing was real now... Once I was standing my body everything about it felt wrong I then reached up to rub my face and that when I felt it. My jaw was huge but not only that but my teeth were now large fangs and tusks sticking out of my mouth.

"Bloody ell I'm an ork, wait wat da I even zound like one?!." I said to myself.

Okay let calm down and think about this I must be dreaming ya that it this is all just one big dream. I must of not had enough to drink and passed out. Yeah that it this is all just one big dream or something. I then looked at my big shoota and my jaw hang open no longer was it mash of bits and bobs hold together by glue and duck tape. It was now a real working gun and flam thrower. This got me thinking as I walk up to it I then pulled out my chooper that was on my back and good lord was that thing looked deadly!. I put the blade away and pick up the gun and grin if this was a dream then I could do whatever I want!.

"Time ta 'eve some fun me thinkz." Good lord I got to stop talking like that!.

I take it back there was nothing fun about walking in a forest in the mud and being hungry. I mean this was supposed to be a dream for crying out load. As my belly rumbled I was starting to think more and more this was not a dream. I then notices the lack of any animals I could hear them but not see them.

"Zog me, what an Ork got ta do to get some food around 'ere?" I say to myself as I start to play with my big shoota, the thing I was playing with was the flame thrower part. Some how I could use my powerclaw how did this work no idea ork logic was it works coz it should. I then hear nothing.

I look around with my red eyes scanning for anything that moved saying to myself. "Dat never a good sine..." I carefully aim my weapon in to the forest making sure to look to my sides and behind my self so nothing sneck up on me. I heard the sound of bush rustling to my left and slowly point my weapon at it, things were tenses as I get ready for whatever could jump out. Maybe it was a tyranid? or another ork, it could even be any number of the warhammer 40k races. I then saw it jump out it was a...

"Chicken-lizard?" It took me some time for my mind to process this.

It was a chicken with lizard scales and even a tail, only the things head looked like a chicken the rest did. The damn thing even had some kind of webbed wings like a bat. However what was on my mind was not how strange it looked or what the hell could of happened to make it look like that. To me it was food and I was hungry, the Chicken-lizard didn't even get the chance to look my way before it body was torn to pieces. The sound alone made all the birds in the forest fly away like crazy once my new food was dead I smiled to myself and walked up to the thing. There was one draw back after shooting it their was nothing left but it tail.

"Aww crap, dar hardly anything left... Oh well better then nothing I guess" I picked up the tail started to make my self a fire.

It was easy really when you have a flamethrower on hand. I just got a bunch of sticks together and set fire to the thing. I then got out my chooper out and try to get the skin and descale the tail not as easy as they make it out in all those cooking shows. I then stuck the tail on a stick then watched it as it was cooking over a fire. I may not no anything about living in the wilds but the one thing I do know how to do was cook. Once it was ready I just ait it in one bite bones and all.

"Wasn't much of a mouth full but better then nothing I guess" I grumbled to myself.

I sighed as I sit under a tree next to my fire maybe I should take a nap ya get some rest and sleep that will do me some good. I close my eyes and take calm breaths as I start to relax I then start to hear the birds again it was a nice feeling. Hearing the sounds of the forest around me, I always did like walking in forests. That was until I heard a scream, I bolted for my big shoota and looked around to where the sound came from. Then I heard it again it sounded like kids crying for help.

"Aww zog me it about time I found someone ta talk to" I raced off in to the forest to hopefully help someone who could help me in this mess.

I jumped out through a bush take a deep breath and yelled with all my will. "WAAAGH!!!" The things I apparently roared at where some kind of wooden dog's?. Whatever I then started shooting the bloody hell out of all of them the only sounds you could hear was the roar of my machinegun and my own laughing.

"Dakka!, Dakka!, Dakka!. Yoos got nothing on da ORKS!" I yelled. I got ta stop talking like dat... Oh grate now I'm thinking it!.

Once it was all over I saw at lest five dead wooden dogs on the floor of the forest. There was nothing left but sticks wait. I held my big shoota in my powerclaw and started to look in to one of the body's. They were made of nothing but sticks and wood!?. I rubbed my head or helmet as I try and think this over I never heard of wooden dogs before or Chicken-lizard's.

"Just where in da Gork an Mork am I?" I say to myself as I look around.

I then hear something in one of the trees I held my big shoota in both hands at the ready to shoot the next thing that pops out until I hear a voice that sounded like a little girl?.

"Are the timberwolves gone Applebloom?" I blinked at the voice in the tree, I waited quietly as I heard not one but three voices in the tree.

"I don' know Sweetie belle, maybe they ran off after hearing whatever that was" This kid sounded like she came from taxes or something. I've never been over sea's before so I wouldn't know.

"Look guys let just make a brake for it I mean I'm sure they all ran off after all those... whatever made all that noise. I'm sure it safe now" I could not help but rise a eyebrow at this. Wow they acted like they've never heard of a gun before.

I was getting sick of them hiding in the tree so I called out to them. "Oi yoo alright up da?" Oh my god it was getting worse. I put my big shoota over my shoulder and rub my face how was I going to deal with kids looking like this?.

"Their somepony out there, girls we're saved!" Yelled one of the voices.

"Wait Sweetie belle stop moving like that, You're going to make us fall!" I rise my eyebrow again as I cross my arms what did they mean some pony?. Are the girls playing some kind of game?.

"No I'm not!, your the one pushing me" I groaned at this as I put my hand over my face.

"Girls stop we're going to!" I then heard a snap and three screams. I rushed over with out thinking and catch three small forms as they fell into my over size arms.

I let out a sigh as I held three small body's in my large arms not only that but giving the tree they were hiding in a good dent with my helmet. I turned and rested my back to the tree then said this. "Dat was to close ya could of got hurt" And when I looked down to see if the three small children were okay. What I saw was three small horses that looked like something out of a colouring book.

"Wat?" I mean what?, I just blinked at them. They can't be form where the voices came from right I mean they must be a kids toys right. That when I saw next was all there eyes start to watering then the little white one with the pink and purple mane talked. "Please don't eat us Mr monster" My eyes just rolled In to the back of my head and fainted.

Wat Yooz Never Seen An Ork Befor?

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WAAAGH!!!

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A Train To Scrap.

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Magic Is Crazy

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Loki Finds a Wild Ork.

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Ere' Come Da Boyz!

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Party fight, wait what?

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I'z Da BOSS!

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Orks Orks Orks Orks.

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