Rarity's Cat is Evil

by Shakespearicles

Rating: mature
Tags: Rarity, Dark, Opalescence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1800

Opalescence tells Rarity to do various horrible things to her friends.

Rarity's Cat, Opalescence, is evil. Not as an adjective, but the literal incarnation of pure, undiluted evil. Rarity is sure of this. Even still, Rarity loves her little Opal all the same. But when Opal begins to quietly start suggesting that Rarity commit horrendous acts of atrocity to her friends and acquaintances, Rarity does her best to ignore her. But Rarity has grossly underestimated the persuasiveness of her cat. Her evil, evil cat.

Published 2015-03-15 18:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-15 18:20:01 UTC

She Made Me Do it!

Author's Note

Not to be taken seriously.

She Made Me Do it!

Rarity rubbed her tired eyes, bloodshot from another sleepless night. She had been up all night working on her latest dress order. She had been in the zone for eight hours straight. And she knew better than to try to sleep when she was feeling this way. She would just lay there and toss and turn, unable to rest until the dress was complete. So awake she remained, pinning, sewing, hemming and stitching. But it all payed off. Her latest creation was a wonder to behold.

It had been a long night. And Celestia had just raised the sun above the horizon. Streaks of sunlight crept into the Carousel Boutique from under the drawn blinds. Rarity adjusted the lighting in the room and threw open the curtains. She caught her reflection in a nearby mirror. Her hair was a fright. She had been working for nearly two days straight with nary a wink. Even still, the warmth of the sun pouring in invigorated her.

She was tired, yes. But she couldn't very well go to sleep now. She would wake up this evening and be up all night again. No. She would wait until tonight and get a very-well-deserved night's rest.

"It's a beautiful day isn't it?" Rarity asked seemingly to herself. Opalescence, her cat yawned and stretched in her cat bed. She had slept rather well despite the on-again off-again whirring of the sewing machine throughout the night.

"Meow."

Rarity raised her eyebrow and huffed, crossing her hooves.

"Well I think it's a lovely day. And I don't care much for your rotten attitude." Rarity scolded.

"Meow."

"Yes. I know how much you prefer the night. You are nocturnal by nature after all. But we can't very well demand that the Princess skip a day of sunshine just to go to bed now."

"Meow."

"No. It would be incredibly selfish of us to coerce the Princess into inconveniencing the entire kingdom just for us to get some sleep when we could just as easily pull the shades and lie down."

"Meow."

"Hmmm. That is true. Celestia did seem to be quite vulnerable at the wedding. Perhaps she's not as all-powerful as we all think." Rarity rubbed her chin. "But what would her weakness even be?"

"Meow."

"Twilight? Hmm, she does care an awful lot about Twilight doesn't she." Rarity's eyes lit up. "Idea! We could pretend to kidnap Twilight and force the Princess to lower the sun early!"

"Meow."

"Well Twilight trusts me. It would be easy to trick her. But what to do about Celestia..." Rarity wondered.

"Meow."

"Yes... Yes! We could blame it on Princess Luna! Make it seem like she is becoming Nightmare Moon again! Then Celestia will never suspect me!"

"Meow."

"Us. I meant us of course!" Rarity smiled. "Now, where would Twilight be now?"

"Meow."

"Hmm. I don't think she'd be in her new tree. Oh! That's right! She is to be at Sugarcube corner tomorrow!"

"Meow."

"Oh, that's right!" Rarity said as she looked out the window again. "It's tomorrow already!"

"Meow."

"Sugarcube Corner? Well I suppose it's made of wood and... sugar."

"Meow."

"Well that seems a little drastic, don't you think?"

"Meow."

"I suppose you're right. It is a fire hazard. I should burn it down now before it happens by accident. They bake in there with hot ovens all of the time."

"Meow."

"But if I lock the doors, how will anypony get out?"

"Meow."

"Oh, you mean so nopony goes inside when it happens. It is early. They wouldn't even be open yet. You're so smart Opal."

"Prrrr."

"Okay. I'll be right back." Rarity said as she grabbed her things and headed out the door.

"Opal! I'm home! I need to take a bath dear I'm a bit sooty."

"Meow."

"No. The black patches do NOT make me look like a cow! How could you say such a thing?" She yelled.

"Meow."

"I am NOT FAT!" Rarity screamed, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

"Meow."

"OH YEAH!? Watch this!" Rarity stormed off into the bathroom with a knitting needle. "Ahh!" She cried out. She pierced her nose septum and fitted it with a brass shower ring. "There! Who's a cow now!" She grabbed a bell and affixed it around her neck with a ribbon, shaking her head from side to side. "MOO! MOO!"

"Meow."

Rarity looked to Opal, standing by the door. An envelope had slipped in through the mail slot. She stopped her cow act and read the letter.

"Oh no! It seems that Fluttershy will be unable to attend our weekly spa appointment today because she has to take care of her sick animals!"

"Meow."

"I suppose I could do that. If I poisoned all her animals, she would have more time to spend with me at the spa! But what would I even poison them with?"

"Meow."

"Plant fertilizer... that could work. But where would I get enough for all of her animals?"

"Meow."

"Applejack's farm! Of course. Silly me."

"Meow."

"No, I don't think that pony will ever have enough time to pursue a relationship with me. She always too busy 'bucking apples' when I'm the one she should be bucking."

"Meow."

"You're right! If I burn the orchard down, she'll have all the time in the world to spend with me and we can finally be together!" Rarity clopped her hooves together in excitement. "But how to get her back here?"

"Meow."

Rarity pulled down the iron curtain rod with her magic, giving it a few practice swings. "Yes, this will do nicely. I'll go over there and club her, burn her orchard down, and club her brother too if he gets in the way. Then, I'll bring her and the fertilizer back here, poison Fluttershy's animals. Go to the spa with her and be back here just in time for Applejack to slowly fall in love with me. Hehehehee!"

"Meow."

"Right, right. I'm off. I'll be back soon.

"Opal I'm home!" Rarity kicked the door in, rushing inside quickly. Her white fur was marred with even more soot and spattered with blood. She levitated the bag of fertilizer and dragged Applejack in behind her, her orange head leaving a trail of fresh blood.

"Okay, quick update. Applejack is still alive. Just unconscious. Fluttershy is over at Sugar Cube Corner."

"Meow."

"Well, what's left of it. I'm going to go deal with her animals while she's busy. Then I'll go get her to the spa with her. I should be back in about two hours. Keep an eye on Applejack for me." Rarity lifted the farmpony up onto the couch.

"Meow."

The door flew open, startling Opal. Rarity dove inside slamming it shut behind her. "Okay. Quick update. Apparently the entire town seems to think that I was the one that burned down Sugar Cube Corner and Sweet Apple Acres! The audacity!"

"Meow."

Rarity looked down at her fur. "Yes I suppose the soot and blood do seem a tad suspect. But still! I should be able to have the benefit of the doubt!"

BANG BANG BANG

"Rarity open up!" Twilight's voice came from outside.

"MOOO MOOO!" Rarity hollered back, shaking the bell around her neck and jostling the brass ring in her septum, causing fresh blood to run down over her lips.

"Rarity, I don't know what's happened! But please let Applejack go!" Twilight pleaded.

"MOOOOOO!"

"What the hay is goin' on?" Applejack asked groggily as the sound of her name.

"Oh, oh AJ, you're awake! Now we can finally be together!" Rarity said, kneeling beside her.

"Ugh, mah head!" Applejack rubbed her head, staining her hoof red.

"Oh, don't worry about that. You probably don't remember, but I had to hit you over the head with the iron curtain rod. You became quite upset when I burned your orchard down."

"YOU WHAT!?"

BANG! Another loud crash against the door.

"But it's okay now! Now you don't have to worry about those silly apples anymore and we can finally be in lesbian together!"

"Have you spit yer bit! Mah life's work!"

BANG! The front door began to splinter.

"Meow."

"Come on, we have to go!" Rarity demanded, scooping up Opal in her magic and grabbing AJ's hoof.

"Get off me you psycho!" AJ barked, pulling her hoof away.

"Psycho?" Rarity scoffed. "It wasn't my idea! Opal told me to do it!"

"HELP!" AJ cried out.

SMASH! Rainbow Dash finally broke through the door, tumbling into the Boutique.

"We're closed!" Rarity sneered. "MOOOOO!" She grasped Rainbow in her magic and threw her back out through the doorway. She was caught in the purple aura of Twilight's magic as she set her back on the ground, stopping inside. Rarity knew very well that she was no match for Twilight's magical clout and opted for a hasty retreat upstairs, sealing her bedroom door behind her.

"Rainbow," Twilight commanded, "circle around outside and make sure she doen't make a run for it. We have to find out what is wrong with our friend. Fluttershy, you look after AJ."

"Got it!" Rainbow flew back outside, maintaining a perimeter.

"Oh Applejack, are you okay?" Fluttershy stepped timidly into the boutique.

"Mah apples..." AJ cried, nursing the wound on her head. "What are you going to do?" She asked Twilight.

"Whatever I have to." Twilight answered as she cautiously made her way up the staircase.

Rarity circled frantically in her bedroom with Opal.

"What are we going to do? What are we going to do?" She asked, panicked.

"Meow."

"Is there- is there really no other way?" Rarity sniffled as tears ran down her cheek.

"Meow."

"I love you Opal. Goodbye."

"Meow."

"Rarity!" Twilight called through the door.

CRASH

"AHHHH!"

Twilight smashed the door open, saw the room and rushed back downstairs and outside. Rainbow Dash had been the one that screamed. Hovering there in abject shock. Rarity laid in a still, twisted heap on the ground, surrounded by the broken glass of the window she had jumped through. Twilight covered her mouth in shock and sorrow. Fluttershy helped Applejack hobble outside through the broken doorway. Opal trotted down the stairs, joining the others outside. Twilight stood over Rarity's body.

"What in the world happened to you?" Twilight said to Rarity's still form on the grass. Applejack limped over beside her.

"Meow." Opal said behind them.

"Inside, Rarity said that- 'Opal told her to do it'." AJ said. The group turned around slowly, eyeing the cat suspiciously. Behind them Opalescence the Cat sat innocently on the grass.

"Meow."

"Fluttershy, you have a way with animals." Twilight said. "What did she say?" Fluttershy shrugged.

"All she said was, 'meow'."