Rainbow Dash Vs. College Apps
“Ha! Did you see the way that Mohawked punk was crying over her earring?” Rainbow Dash, held a blood-stained ring, a small piece of flesh still attached to it.
Pinkie pie chimed in, “Yeah! That was almost as good as when we jumped Chrysalis outside the clinic!”
“Right? And the way she squealed when we finished.” Rainbow Dash mockingly quoted Chrysalis, “’Ow, my ribs. I can’t breathe,’ what a drama queen, right? Almost as bad as Rarity and her sofa.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes at the thought.
“THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!” Pinkie shouted.
Reminiscing about funny adventures, the two continued their trip to school. Rainbow and Pinkie typically walked to school together. Rainbow Dash didn’t have to, especially since her family’s manservant could have easily drove her to the entrance, but she liked stopping by Pinkie’s house and walking the rest of the way. Once they realized how much they liked pulling off pranks together they’d been the best of friends. A block away from the school, they ran into Twilight Sparkle getting off the bus stop.
“Good morning, everypony!” Twilight cheerfully greeted the pair.
“Uh Pinkie, do you know who that is?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Pinkie Pie gave a shrug and said, “I have no idea. Wait, she looks familiar.”
Before Twilight could get another word out an arm reached out of a blue and white van behind her, wrapping around Twilight’s neck and yanking her inside. In a dash the door rammed shut and the van screeched away into the distance. The two letters emblazoned on the van’s door flashed by Rainbow and Pinkie but neither of the two could see what the letters were. Rainbow Dash broke into a sprint, rounding the corner to see where Twilight was being taken but the street was empty once she hit the bus stop.
“Where do you think they took her?” Pinkie Pie asked as she popped out of a nearby trashcan.
“I dunno,” Rainbow Dash stopped to catch her breath. “Ah, forget her. Let’s just keep going.”
The two continued on their way to school, manifesting as a whirlwind of blue and pink laughing their way down the street. They hardly even noticed that they walked by a timid Fluttershy hiding underneath the shadow of the Horse Statue in front of the School.
“R-Rainbow Dash!” Fluttershy squeaked almost inaudibly. “Wait up.”
“Fluttershy! There you are!” Pinkie Pie jumped with excitement.
Fluttershy peaked out from under the statue and whispered, “Hello Pinkie Pie. Good Morning Rainbow Dash. What are you girls up to?”
“Hey Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash said with quite a horse voice. “Just goin’ to class.” Letting out a long yawn she mumbled, “Oh boy, I’m tired.”
“Oh my,” Fluttershy pulled a closed hand to her face. “What’s the matter? Did you have a lot of homework last night?”
“Uh, yeah, but last night I was doing the essay for my college apps last night.” Nervously rubbing the back of her head she amended, “I actually kinda… forgot about my homework; I guess I was just too busy thinking about how to get a thousand words out there.”
“Essay? One thousand words?!” Pinkie Pie shouted incredulously. “I can’t IMAGINE doing anything that dull for a WHOLE night!”
The three carried their conversation inside as they moved to drop off their books. Luckily for them, most of their lockers were right next to each other. Rarity, on the other hand, had her locker on the other side of the school. Dozens of voices filled the air from the clusters of students hanging around the entrance of Canterlot High. The girls stood a little closer together to keep each other audible.
“Um, Rainbow Dash, I thought you got a scholarship from that one college.” Fluttershy whispered from the back of the group.
“Yeah, it was some athletic scholarship or whatever.” Rainbow Dash shrugged, her backpack sliding a little lower down her shoulder. “I still gotta do the app anyway, but the scholarship just pays for most of it.”
“So you still need to write a one thousand word essay?” Fluttershy quietly asked. “Would it be alright if you wrote a little less?”
“Nah, they really got a stick up their butts about the word count.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes in annoyance. “They won’t even look at it if it’s not as big as theirs. Cocky bastards.”
Fluttershy face turned slightly red from picturing the imagery Rainbow Dash presented. “Oh dear, that sounds just awful. It’s so… tight and restrictive.” Fluttershy’s eyes darted left and right to see if anybody had seen her face turn red just a moment ago but nobody seemed to notice. Oddly enough, she didn’t see Pinkie Pie anymore.
“Right?” Rainbow Dash flashed a smile in Fluttershy’s direction as they came across their lockers. “Hey Applejack!”
“Howdy Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy!” Applejack said as she tipped her hat.
With a quick Twist on the knob Rainbow Dash popped open her locker and turned to Fluttershy before reaching in. With a chuckle she asked, “Can you believe that they even want me to write about my favorite musician? Hey Applejack, who’s yours?”
“CELERY!” Applejack yelled out.
“Uh, what now?” Rainbow Dash asked.
Applejack snapped out of her trance and corrected herself, “Ahh mean uh, Korn!”
“Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“Oh, umm, Kan-yay West,” Fluttershy whimpered out with a tinge of embarrassment.
Gently closing her locker Fluttershy sheepishly looked over to the other girls and said, “Umm, I have to get to class, see you later, girls.”
“So, busy workin’ on them college apps?” Applejack asked.
With a sigh Rainbow Dash answered, “Yeah.” The ring of the school bell drew a quick glance from the two before Rainbow said, “We better get to class too.”
The two headed off to their classes and the day moved forward at a crawl. Rainbow Dash’s weary eyelids drooping down every so often. She felt as though her body was moving on her own; the words from the woman in front of the board got hazier and hazier until she let her head slide onto the desk. BOOM. BOOM. A bizarre sound crashed on Rainbow’s ears. BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. There it was again! Rainbow Dash jerked her body upright in anticipation and looked about to see what was going on.
“Rainbow Dash?” A familiar voice said. A manicured white hand poked at her shoulder.
“Huh? What?” A dazed Rainbow Dash looked for the source of the voice.
“Rainbow Dash!” Applejack practically shouted in her ear. “Ya better get up before that cranky Mizz Harsh Whinny sees ya.”
“Talk about getting your beauty sleep.” Rarity remarked on the other side of Rainbow Dash.
“Ugh,” Rainbow Dash groaned in confusion, “what time is it?”
“Faahve till lunch.” Applejack said in her southern drawl. “Come on, get up if ya don’t wanna stay after.”
“What’d I miss?” Rainbow Dash said while doing her best to look as though she had been paying attention to Ms. Harsh Whinny the whole time.
Applejack chuckled and asked, “Do ya mean in this class, or all day? You’ve been like this since ya sat down in first period!”
“Yeah, yeah.” Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.
Applejack took a quick look at the weary-eyed girl’s outfit and remarked, “That’s a mighty fine lookin’ jacket ya got, Rainbow.”
“Darling, of course it is.” Rarity chimed in, “After all, Rainbow Dash always dresses in style!”
“Right.” Rainbow Dash said with a tinge of sarcasm in her voice. “And I bet your little sister could magically get Cranky Doodle to smile. Look, it’s not that I don’t appreciate you guys doing.. uh… whatever it is that you’re doing. But this is a huge problem! I can barely sleep at night now!”
“What so dang hard about writin’ an essay?” Applejack was beginning to get annoyed at Rainbow Dash’s single mindedness. “I mean it can’t be that hard right?”
“Well, uh, it could be.” Rainbow Dash’s head sunk down a little. “You know how I’m not the best writer, right? You see, the problem is…”
“Well?” Applejack asked.
Applejack and Rarity exchanged a concerned glance and after a few seconds Rarity asked, “What’s the matter, dearie?”
Rainbow Dash blurted out. “I couldn’t write a thousand words about myself! I just don’t know how!”
“Hold on now,” Applejack chimed in. “Can’t ya just send something with less than a thousand words? I mean, it’s not like they’d just reject yer application for that right?”
“That’s exactly what they’d do!” She said jumping out of her chair in excitement. “I can’t write a thousand word essay! I don’t think I even know a thousand words!”
“Mizz Dash, these outbursts of yours are becoming much too common,” Miss Harsh Whinny commanded, “You may leave in three minutes, and not a minute earlier. Now, please, sit down.”
After an agonizing three minute crawl to the bell, Applejack, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash headed off to lunch at their usual spot in the cafeteria. Before they sat down they tacitly acknowledged the absence of Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie. After a few minutes of chatting Rarity’s sister and her friend walked right up to the three of them.
“Hi sis!” Sweetie Belle cheerfully declared. “Can me and Scootaloo sit with you?”
Rarity took a second to collect her thoughts before saying, “Hmm, Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie are nowhere to be found so I suppose nobody would have a problem with that. Sure.”
Sweetie Belle didn’t hesitate to sit next to Rarity, mirroring her sister’s posture once she put down her tray. On the other hand, a nervous, yet visibly excited, Scootaloo sat next to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash awkwardly tried to avoid eye contact and focus on her food but she couldn’t help but feel someone’s gaze creeping up on her side.
“Hey Rainbow Dash. What’re you doing?” Scootaloo asked.
“Uh… eating?” Rainbow Dash’s growing discomfort was visible to everyone but Scootaloo.
“Eating what?”
“It’s, uh, some rabbit stew that Fluttershy shared with me and Applejack earlier today.” Rainbow Dash said, not even looking away from her food.
“So…” Scootaloo piercing gaze was trained on Rainbow Dash’s face. “Anything you wanna talk about?” Rainbow Dash chuckled awkwardly before looking to Rarity and Sweetie Belle for help.
“Uh, we were just talkin’ about how, uh, Rainbow Dash here is applying to a college.” Applejack said, trying to break the silence.
“Right.” Rainbow Dash said, starting to sweat in discomfort. “They ask the weirdest questions on those applications. One of them even wanted to know what my religion is.”
“That’s so awesome! I’m totally Muslim.” Scootaloo declared jovially.
“Uh-huh. Good to know, kid.” Rainbow Dash suddenly stood up and said, “Listen, I gotta get to class so… I guess I’ll see all of you later.”
“But it’s twenty minutes till fifth period.” Sweetie Belle squeaked out.
“Right! But I got a lot of books to… uh… give to Pinkie Pie! So, see ya later!” Rainbow Dash waved a quick goodbye to everyone at the table.
“Dumb fabric!” Sweetie Belle said.
“Sweetie Belle!” Sweetie Belle said in a poorly done country accent after pulling out a branch covered in pink and white flowers. “What a thing to say!”
“No, no, no.” Sweetie Belle said in her normal voice. “You see, in the thirtieth it’s considered bad luck to say ‘good fabric’ so you say ‘dumb fabric’ instead.”
With everyone paying attention to Sweetie Belle’s random outburst of ventriloquism, not even Scootaloo noticed Rainbow Dash slipping out of the room. After ducking out of the cafeteria Rainbow Dash took some time to appreciate being alone for a minute. No more creepy stalkers. No more wannabe puppeteers. No more weirdness. Breathing a sigh of relief Rainbow Dash headed off to find somewhere less stressful. She sat down in her next class early rather than waiting it out in public. Miss Cheerilee typically ate lunch in her classroom and always enjoyed having company so Rainbow Dash was very welcome to sit with her.
“Is something bothering you Rainbow Dash?” Miss Cheerilee asked.
“Just college apps. I’m getting pretty tired of talking about it now.” Rainbow Dash replied.
“I understand.” Cheerilee said with a sympathetic smile. “Applications can be very stressful.”
Cheerilee and Rainbow Dash chatted for a few minutes until the bell rang, bringing in a flood of students into the room. As the classroom filled up the two women went to their respective places in the classroom. Pinkie Pie and Applejack took their places next to Rainbow Dash.
“Psst!” Pinkie Pie whispered. “Rainbow Dash!”
“What?” Rainbow Dash quietly asked.
“I need a favor Rainbow Dash.” Pinkie Pie loudly declared. “I totally promise that it’ll be totally fun!”
Fed up with all of today’s shenanigans Rainbow Dash yelled, “NO! Pinkie Pie! GET OUT!”
“Rainbow Dash! That ain’t no way to talk to yer friends!” Applejack said. “Miss Cherilee!”
“I’m fed up with all this! Just leave me alone!” Rainbow Dash shouted.
“Rainbow Dash!” Cheerilee commanded. “The principal’s office! Now!”
Face down in shame, Rainbow Dash marched to Principal Celestia’s office. It wasn’t fair. It was just too much. Not enough sleep! Nothing was made any sense! Before she knew it there was the door.
“Rainbow Dash, I don’t know what you’ve done so please write me a letter and put it in my box” Principal Celestia instructed flippantly.
“Dear Princess Celestia…”
“I don’t care.” Principal Celestia said. “Put it in a letter.”
Sleep deprived confusion took over as Rainbow Dash shut her mouth. Putting her pen down to the piece of paper Celestia provided, Rainbow Dash wrote:
“Dear Princess Celestia,
My friend Applejack is a bitc--------“
Her pen trailed off right as her head slammed onto the desk, sound asleep.