The Lack of Pinkie's Pies

by Ninja No Theme

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Pinkie Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sparkler
Length: 1247

Sparkler wants pie. Pinkie hates pie.

Pinkie Pie did not like pies. This was strange as it was in her name. She could make cupcakes, pumpkin cakes, pound cakes, rainbow cakes, and the highly dangerous and experimental ultra cakes, but she did not like pie. What was its point? It was gooey instead of crumbly, fruity instead , of chocolaty, and it had no icing. On an average day, Pinkie would not think of pies at all, but then Sparkler blew in, drenched in rain

Edited by ErraticOverlord

part of a pi day speed run

Published 2015-03-15 17:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-15 17:50:02 UTC

Pies

"Hiya, Sparkler!"

Pinkie exclaims, waving. Sparkler looks up, a tired look in her eyes. Her mane was wet, her hooves were muddy, and her saddle bags had a hole in them.

"Hi, Pinkie. What do you have for a bad day?"

"Well, I've got cupcakes, pumpkin cakes, pound cakes, rainbow cakes, and the cakes said I couldn't give it to customers but I also have my experimental ultra cakes."

Pinkie points at each cake as she says their names. When she gets to the ultra cakes she points to a safe with several locks on it and a 'WARNING TOXIC' sign on it.

"Not feeling the regulars today."

Sparkler says, sighing and sitting down.

"Say, do you have any pies?"

Pinkie froze.

Why did she have to ask for pies? she thought.

Nopony's asked for pies in a long time. what should I do? Sparkler has her heart set on a pie, how could I say no to a friend?

Sparkler looked like she had had a very bad day. Suddenly, something not quite right snapped inside Pinkie.

I will make Sparkler the perfect pie! she thought.

"Not right this second but I'll whip something up for you."

Pinkie says, forcing her face to unfreeze.

Sparkler smiles. "Awesome."

Pinky trots into the back.

"Pie," she mutters.

**Pie**

Sparkler had been having a fairly bad day. Her saddle bags got caught on a rose bush and then the rain started while on her way home, having to trek so far through the rain and mud was impossible so she went to Sugarcube Corner.

But Sparkler started to feel concerned for her friend. When she mentioned pie, Pinkie stopped moving and even breathing for several moments. Sparkler remembered the rumors of Pinkie going insane and hoped she hadn't triggered a relapse.

When she perked her ear and listened carefully, she could hear her muttering 'pies' over and over again. After waiting for several minutes, Sparkler stands and trots to the counter.

She calls into the kitchen. "Pinkie?"

"What? Yes?"

It's hard to tell when Pinkie's frazzled because her hair was already a mess, but Sparkler could tell. Pinkie's hair stood up and in every direction even more chaotic than usual.

"I don't have to have a pie, if you don't want to make one. In fact, those rainbow cakes look fine to me."

Sparkler points to the rainbow cakes display case. Pinkie's ears twitched. Sparkler could tell she had said something wrong.

"No." Pinkie says with a manic hint in her tone, her eyes looking at Sparkler but seeing only pies. "I will make the worlds greatest pie! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Sparkler decided to sit back down.

Sparkler started to think of who she could call. The cakes were at a cake conference, Rainbow Dash was celestia knows where, Applejack had to finish farming and shouldn't be bothered, Twilight was in canterlot, Rarity was with a high profile costumer, and Fluttershy was with her bears. Sparkler thought about it, and decided she did not want to meet eight grizzly bears in group therapy, it was up to her.

Sparkler was pondering all this when Pinkie plopped a pie in front of her, she pointed a dough covered hoof at it.

"Pie." Is all she said.

Sparkler looked at the pie. It had a criss cross pattern and a red filling.

"Um, I'm allergic to cherries."

Sparkler looked up at Pinkie with a guilty look on her face. Pinkie looked like she might explode.

"Okay." Pinkie squeaks. She grabs the pie and heads back to the kitchen.

"Wait!" Sparkler exclaims but it's already too late: Pinkie was in the back room. Sparkler collapses back into her chair.

"Great."

She mutters. Suddenly, Pinkie shouts.

"Eureka!"

And runs out the door past Sparkler.

"Wait where are you going?"

Pinkie turns, her eyes glinting with an evil look. Then she said something which shook Sparkler to the core.

"Apples."

And then disappeared, leaving an empty store, except for a confused unicorn sitting in the dark.

**Pie**

Pinkie raced from the store, recipes running through her head. The missing ingredient is apples, of course; an apple pie would knock Sparkler's proverbial socks off. Pinkie makes a sharp turn toward Sweet Apple Acres and slips in a puddle from the rain from a few moments ago but she stands and races off again.

She arrives at Sweet Apple Acres and bumps into Big Mac.

"Big Mac, is Applejack here?"

Pinkie asks, frantically. Big Mac ponders the question for a moment.

"Eeyup."

He decides.

"Do you know where she is?"

Pinkie demands. Big Mac considers this too while Pinkie gets impatient.

"Nnnnope." He answers.

Pinkie starts to lose hope when she remembers the Sonic Dashie: a move she invented to keep up with Rainbow Dash, when she thought they were keeping secrets from her. She readies herself and then takes off, searching the orchard at Mach 1.5.

She finds Applejack bucking an apple tree. Pinkie Pie appears next to her, panting.

"AJ, pie, apple, Sparkler, shop, cakes, hurry!"

Pinkie collapsed into a heaving pink pile.

"Pinkie? What in tarnation is goin-."

"Sparkler wants pie, I hate pie, need apples for pie."

"That makes a little more sense, but if you don't like pies, why are you makin them?"

"Sparkler wants one."

"Oh. What?"

"Apples."

"Alright, alright, hold your horses."

Applejack loaded Pinkie's, saddlebags with apples. As soon as she'd finished, pinkie starts to run.

"Bye, AJ. Love you."

She leaves the area before she could hear Applejack warn her not to go too crazy.

Pinkie takes off and arrives back at Sugar Cube Corner. Sparkler is sitting at a table.

"There you are, Pinkie. Where were you?"

Sparkler asks, looking up from the doodle she was drawing on a napkin.

"Apples."

Pinkie, responded and went into the kitchen.

**Pie**

Sparkler was sitting by herself for an hour, waiting for Pinkie to come back. Her stomach rumbled. To help with this, she drew food which made her hungrier. Then, just when she was considering eating her creations, Pinkie burst back in, said 'apples' and rushed to the back, tracking mud inside the shop.

A few minutes later, Pinkie came out with an apple pie. For a second time she points at the baked confection.

"Pie." She almost demands.

Sparkler, with no other choice, takes a slice and eats it. It tasted like, well, pie. Not great, true, but surprisingly not accidentally poisoned, nothing to write home about of course but it was pie, still.

"How is it?" Pinkie Pie looms closer to Sparkler, coming within an inch of her face.

"Oh uh, fine thanks." Sparkler smiles and takes another slice.

"Victory!" Pinkie, cackles.

"Pie I hath bested you!" Pinkie, sits down.

"Whew, good game, pie, that was a lot of fun."

Pinkie smiles, back to her old self.

"G'night." She decides and clonks her head on the table.

Sparkler decides she had better put Pinkie to bed. Levitating her in her magic, she puts her in her bed and walks out the door. She looks up to the still cloudy sky for a moment and says.

"I don't think I like pies."

And walks back home.

**Epilogue**

The next day, Pinkie is working behind the counter when Rainbow Dash flies in.

"Hey, Pinkie. I heard you were making pies, could I get one?"

The next thing Rainbow knew, a cherry pie splatted on her face.

"That is the last time I make a pie." Pinkie says.

**Fin**