The Only Thing I Know For Realzies
Author's Note
Nope
Not even gonna proof-read this abomination
God, what am I doin' with my life?
The Only Thing I Know For Realzies
It was just another one of those moments where she looked awesome and she knew it.
There was something poetic about it.
Her legs hanging over the sides of the bike, the fierce gush of wind pelting against her mask, wafting over her metallic skin and tugging at the edges of her streaked hair, blowing her pigtails wildly behind her. Her claws danced around the handlebars, tightening and loosening around the textured leather with a smile morphing onto her lavender features. The deserted wasteland was left in the dust of her trail as she drove down the winding road. Sure, she could just, you know, run the distance. In fact, that'd probably be way faster but riding the motorcycle (that she totally did not steal) made her feel cool. Really cool because she was cool and she bloody well knew it.
It was all ruined when she caught sight of something ahead of her.
It was the worst.
Her eyes drifted up from the razor talons all the way up the metallic frame of her canine companion, Adagiowolf. What in Tartarus was she doing out here? The blood that began to boil in her circuits pulled her away from that line of thought as soon as she saw the hand rest upon her really, really big hair sticking out of her weird wolf-robot head.
She followed it up the muscled-up exoskeleton, pale yellow in it's hue. The scowl on her face only creased further into her features when she saw the shit-eating grin on that little blue bitch's light cerulean mug. A gush of wind blew against her stupid, two-toned ponytail, waving it away in the breeze. Her arm fell to her side as the fickle little mecha-wolf turned on her heel and sauntered over to where she sat on the bike, her artificial muscles gyrating with each step she took.
"Aria." Spoke the multi-tone mechanical voice of Adagio-wolf.
"What the Hell are you doing with her?"
"Shut up." She spat. "Ahem. Jetstream Sonata's behaviour does not match established parameters. I am unable to ascertain her motivation."
"...what."
"She's crazy, man!" Adagio-wolf hollered, jumping up and wrapping her metal claws around Aria's shoulders. "She's nuts! She's doin' it for the lolz!"
Crunch.
Aria's eye snapped back to where Sonata was standing, smug and confidence radiating off her like the pretentious bitch she was. In her hand, she raised a taco she apparently just pulled out of her metal ass, to her mouth and with the most rage-inducing smirk, she bit into it because she's the worst.
"Hiya! So glad yo could make it!" Of course, it came out more like, "Ughfmwah ufffwamatafghkit!"
"Whatever." Aria growled. "You know why I'm here."
Sonata popped the rest of the meaty confection in her mouth and munched on it in the corner of her cheek. "Hmmm...Nope!"
"Sonata." She closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. "I know you took them."
The overgrown smurf rested a hand of the scabbard remaining stagnant at her hip. "I have no idea what you're talking abou-"
"I know you took them!!"
"I did not!" She screeched back.
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!!"
"Did too!!"
Aria the Ripper kicked at the stand on her bike before sliding herself off the seat. She gave one short glare at the little blue bitch down the road and gestured her head for her to follow. Jetstream Sonata looked as if to say something but stopped herself. She sighed resolutely, looking down at the hilt of her sword. Her head slowly rose and she grinned invitingly down at her sister. In synchronization, the two weird cyborg, ninja/samurai, demon seahorses from the oceans of magical pony land walked in silence across one another into the dusty terrain of the desert with the weird robot wolf demon seahorse from magical pony land, who walked between them on all fours.
"Finally. I've been waiting a thousand years for this." She grunted.
"Oh? Ohh, well that's good. Me too!" Sonata smiled. "Me too..."
"Must you really fight?"
As if mirroring eachother, both Sirens turned on their heels to face their opponent. The bright orange of the sunset cast over their heads, the the land seemed to grovel at their presence and the deathly silence fitted the scene perfectly. Their muscles tensed as their hands slowly coiled, reaching for their blades.
"Don't interfere."
"This is between us."
Aria's fingers steadily twitched as the edges of her claws scraped at the hilt of her sword and ohhhh, was she gonna slice a bitch with it. Her mask clasped hard in front of her face, augmenting her vision as she ripped the blade from it's scabbard, a sly grin filtered along her features as she swung it down. That was all but ripped from her mug when she saw The Worst match her movements perfectly, that innocent smile of hers never leaving her face. Aria barred her teeth, grinding metal on enamel.
"It ends here."
"'Kay!" Sonata giddily replied as her face-plate pulled up in front of her mouth. "Let's dance!"
Aria dashed, lightning blazing in her wake as she slashed her sword upwards. The flashing crimson of Sonata's blade contrasted brightly against her waving hair as she counted the purple cyborg's blow. Aria went spiraling backwards. As she struggled to regain her footing, Jetstream Sonata spun on her heel, her other leg locking up and delivering a swift kick to the artificial lower jaw of her adversary. That got a brief chuckle out of her. Aria was sent twirling in the air and ended up flat on her back feet away from where she last stood. She growled and kicked herself up, using the momentum, taking off sprinting, dragging the edge of her blade along the ground. She could the faintest look of surprise on Sonata's face before she slashed her sword upwards in a straight uppercut. Aria grinned at the blue bitch hovering there in the sky and locked the hilt of her blade into her heel before dashing up, she got a satisfying yelp as the vibrating metal made contact with Sonata's muscle fiber. With a roar, Aria spun around in the air and slashed her leg down, carrying her sword with her and sending Sonata to the dusty earth.
As Aria's toe hit the ground, she didn't even notice Sonata locking her blade into it's sheath briefly. If she listened carefully, she could hear the mirthful giggling before the reminiscent sound of a gun firing filled the scene. Aria screamed as hot, red steel scraped at her back. When she whipped her head around, glaring the infernos of Tartarus at the smug Smurf, she hopped back, out of reach where she couldn't pierce her sword straight through her stupid totally-not-adorable eye.
"Give...give them back to me!"
"Only if you admit it!"
"Admit what?"
"Admit that you took the last burrito!"
"...what?"
"I know it was you!"
"Sonata, I hate those things!"
"Liar! Delicious Mexican food-stealing liar!" '
Before she could retort, Sonata kicked off, dashing straight for where she stood. Aria's eye widened and instinctively, she raised her sword, thankfully too as she heard the relieving clang of grazing metal. Sonata bounced back, staggering, to which Aria found an opportunity to take a shot through the heart...
*Coughandyou'retoblamecough*
...Her attack, however, proved fruitless. Sonata's scarlet steel met halfway in the collision and the two swordssirens or whatever found their faces mere inches apart.
"It was only thing left in the fridge! You know I love frozen burritos!"
"Yes, I do! And hopefully you know that I DON'T!"
With a grunt, Sonata gave a final push against Aria's blade. Taking advantage of her wavering defenselessness, her muscles tensed as she swiped her blade across her sister's body, the music of the wisping her sword made filling her ears was ecstatic. One, left. Two, right. Three, across. Four, right. Five, down-On the last strike, Aria brought her sword up, blocking it.
"But ya know what?" She asked, lowering her head. Aria's leg locked in on itself before giving a forceful kick to Sonata's stomach. She went back just in time for Aria to twist her blade in her hand and launch it upwards along her body. There was a brief splatter of blood. "I don't care." Sonata barely even felt the ferocity of Aria's head butting against her own. "You took my albums...and I want 'em BACK!" She roared, rasing her sword above her head-
CLANG
Aria's mouth fell agape slightly as she watched the vibrating steel slowly cut into Sonata's raised forearm. She wasn't even looking at her. She kind of which it stayed like that because when she did look up at her...
"I'm gonna kill you."
Like it was nothing, Sonata brushed Aria's sword off, her fist tightening around her own and slashing at the one-eyed cyborg.
"Then I'm gonna eat you."
Aria regained her composure just in time to bend back, dodging the crimson metal coming in dangerously close to her nose.
"'Cause I'm friggin' hungry!!"
BANG
"What in the Hell are you two doing?"
Both of their heads snapped in the direction of the familiar sassy, annoyingly mature voice. There, standing in front of the sunset in the middle of the road was Adagio. Not the robot wolf but the real, human-form, stupidly poofy-haired Adagio Dazzle. She was doing that weird thing with her hips again that Aria just couldn't stand. However, she couldn't really focus on that when she caught sight of the utter belittling glare etched on her orange features.
Like a mirage, the world seemed to wash away. The empty dusty road flickered and waved, giving way to instead, a simple apartment room. Couches and table were toppled over, curtains and cushions and kitchen utensils littered the floor. Their awesome cyborg visages melted from their eyes, Aria's hair's fell limply to her sides as her sick metal composition was substituted for a simple, black cropped singlet and grey sweat-pants. Sonata's exterior morphed into her favourite set of stupid matching lavender pajamas. Aria brought her hand to her face, eyeing her 'sword', of which was all but a broomstick...without the broom. Sonata's looked like the thingy that used to hang up the curtains. When their eyes locked, there was no emotion conveyed, just a mutual blankness. That look was quick to be wiped away by a message being silently exchanged. All was forgotten in that moment in time.
Aria's grip tightened around her blade.
Sonata grinned maliciously.
Adagio stepped back as each of their gazes snapped to her.
