Waiter!

by P-Berry

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Other
Length: 2526

There's something swimming in my tea!

As a waiter in a fancy restaurant, I often have to put up with unforeseeable events and irritated complaints coming from our picky customers.
This one, however, is new - even for me.

Published 2015-03-15 20:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-03-15 20:30:02 UTC

Waiter!

"Okay, now I just need to…“ I held my breath as I tied the bow-tie around my neck, pulling it close with more force than I wanted to apply, and suppressing a choking sound.

I gave myself a last, controlling look-over in the small mirror that hung in a corner of the enormous kitchen, making sure my black tailcoat was sitting perfectly and was immaculately stainless. It was the first day at my new job and I wanted to make a good first impression, especially considering the environment I would be working in.

My new job was that of a waiter in one of the fanciest and most expensive restaurants in town - a job that required both, nerves of steel, the politeness of a servant, and the grace of a ballerina – all of which I was more or less convinced I had.

I ran a hand through my painstakingly combed hair, then gave my tie one last adjustment and drew a final breath before leaving my place in front of the mirror and walking towards the kitchen door, finding myself in the calm, fancy atmosphere of the restaurant’s massive main hall shortly after.

The room was filled to the last seat, which had led to the assumption that I would be greeted by a wall of noise upon leaving the kitchen. However, to my surprise, the noise level in the restaurant was comparable to that of a library, none of the many ongoing dialogues louder than muffled whispering.

My boss, a rather short, bald and plump Italian in his late fifties, came walking towards me with hasty steps. “There you are.” He greeted me, neither friendly nor hearty, “Where have you been all this time!?”

“Sir.” I replied, making sure to make my voice sound as calm and professional as possible, “My shift begins at 8pm. I am, in fact, two minutes early.”

“Yes yes.” He put me off with a short flick of his big, paw-like hand, “Now go and take the orders of table two. Then bring table 43 their dessert. Pronto!”

With a weak sigh, I replied, “Yes, sir. Right away, sir.”, then walked past him and –making sure to maintain a perfectly upright posture while walking- made my way over to said table.

However, before I had arrived there, a thunderous scream sounded throughout the restaurant, causing me to involuntarily stop dead in my tracks and wince just a little bit. “Waiter!” the horrified voice of a man came to my ears, “Waiter!”

I span on my heel, hastily searching my surroundings for the origin of the scream. “Waiter!” another shout broke loose from somewhere behind me, causing most of the guests around me to turn their heads as well and cast irritated looks into the mass of tables.

“Waiter!”

Finally, I managed to spot the agitated customer: a man at about the age of my boss, sitting at a small table for one in a corner of the room, about fifteen steps away from my current position.

Without hesitating, I span around and walked into his direction, doing my best to get to the man as fast as possible without moving too ungracefully.

“Waiter!” he shouted for me again, even after I’d entered his field of vision. His head was crimson from shouting, his eyes pinched nearly close and directed at the room’s ceiling, his face contorted to a screaming grimace as he went for another full-throated yell. “Waiter!”

“Jesus Christ, I’m coming.” I thought to myself but made sure to remain silent and keep the neutral, deadpan look on my face.

I arrived at his table just as the man was about to launch into another scream, his hands forming fists and resting on the tabletop in front of him, shaking from the exhaustion the constant screaming must have caused their owner.

“Yes, sir, how may I-“

“WAAAITER!!!”

I cleared my throat, resisting the desire to give the chubby man a slap on the face for almost deafening me with his all-pervasive voice.

“Yes, sir?” I started another attempt, my calm voice hiding my inner anger as I made an effort to stand tall and firm, “How may I be of assistance?”

“There’s a little pony in my tea!” he barked at me without hesitation.

I did my best not to cock an eyebrow as I replied, “I … I’m sorry, sir? Could you repeat that?”

“I said,” he repeated himself, his head assuming an even darker shade of red, “There’s a little pony in my tea!” he pointed one of his stubby fingers at a single cup on the table in front of him.

I took a closer look at the beverage, and couldn’t believe what I saw. Indeed, there was something swimming in the man’s tea. And it wasn’t a hair, neither was it a fly or a spider.

No, the … thing appeared to be blue. A light blue coat covered most of its equine-looking body, including a set of two wings on its back; several streaks of hair, each in a different color of the rainbow, made for what I suspected were the creature’s mane and tail. Indeed, it seemed I was looking at a little pony - at a very, very little pony.

The animal itself was about half the size of the man’s cup, allowing it to comfortably swim about and happily splash around in the red liquid, which –as a matter of fact- was exactly what the creature appeared to be doing.

Big, magenta eyes and a mouth that was barely larger than a pinhead gave the customer and me a teasing look. The creature appeared to be … grinning at us.

“Don’t just stand there!” the man angrily snarled at me, interrupting my thoughts, “Do something about it!”

“Uh, sir,” I hastily spoke up, “I honestly have no idea what-“

“What’s going on here?” the deep voice of my boss interrupted our short dialogue as the man squeezed himself between me and the customer’s table.

“There’s a little pony in my tea!” The man repeated himself for the third time, gaining just about the same reaction he had gained from me from my boss.

However, it didn’t take the short man more than a few seconds to come back to his senses, as he then turned around, facing me, and said, “You! Get this … thing out of here.” he pointed a finger at the pony-filled cup.

I hesitated, “S-sir, I’m not sure if-“

Without leaving me time to reply, he reached behind himself, grabbed the cup in his paw-like hands and handed it over to me, commanding, “Here. Now go!”

But before I could react, the creature occupying the cup of tea had begun to establish its own plans, as it quickly arose from the cup, flapping its soaked wings to float from my bosses hand up to his eye level and –for the second time I couldn’t believe what I saw- sticking out its tiny tongue, giving the man a broad, teasing grin.

It then flew a circle around his bald head, and another one, and another one. Fighting back a chuckle, I saw how my bosses anger grew with every second, but how he was unable to do something about the impudent pony since it was moving too fast for him to spot it with his eyes.

He started a few attempts to catch it with his hands, but quickly gave up and turned to me again. “You, newbie!” he pointed a finger at me, “Catch this thing! Kill it!”

I could’ve sworn the creature had understood what he had just said, since it stopped abruptly mid-air, giving both, my boss, then me a somewhat serious look before leaving its orbit around the big man’s head and instead flying away from us at a surprising speed.

Again, I hesitated, still not sure what this thing was, let alone willing to catch or even kill it.

“Kill it, or you’re fired!” he yelled at me with clenched teeth, causing me to reluctantly get under way and chase after the mysterious intruder after a few more seconds of hesitation.

My eyes spotted the pony after a few seconds – while it was small, its cyan fur made it protrude from the mostly red and brown interior of the restaurant, making it an easy target.

I could feel how adrenaline shot through my body as I shot forward, forgetting about the image of the gentle, graceful waiter I had tried to keep up before spotting the pony, and instead chasing it through the restaurant and doing my best to dodge other waiters, guests, and food carts.

The creature floated mid-air as it realized that I had actually taken up pursuit. Giving me a challenging grin, it then turned away from me and dashed forward, flying right over a table which I managed to dodge only with a hasty side step.

The pony flew a sharp curve around a corner, I stuck to its heels like a dung fly, literally flying around the corner myself. However, contrary to me, the pony I was pursuing had seen the man in the black tailcoat on the other side of the corner and had successfully dodged him and the big platter of spaghetti he was carrying.

As for me, suffice it to say that both, the ground, my own tailcoat, and my unexpected accident partner were covered in noodles and red sauce shortly after.

By then I was sure most of the restaurant had taken notice of the wild chase, much to the regret of my boss who was now trying hard to distract his guests from this little incident, hastily walking through the labyrinth of tables and shouting orders to his other employees in Italian.

However, I had not yet given up. Spotting the pony hovering mere feet from where I was sitting on the ground and commenting on my crash with teasing laughter, I jumped back to my feet and recommenced my pursuit.

The flying pony saw that I was getting back to my feet and ceased its laughter, instead giving me that challenging grin again, causing a growl of determination to escape my spaghetti-covered lips.

The runaway pony went for the same tactic again, trying to provoke another crash with one of my coworkers who were running around the restaurant in an attempt to calm the upset guests. However, I had learned from my earlier mistakes and the pony soon found itself lured into another corner, its back facing a naked wall.

Its tiny eyes seemed to widen just a little bit as it realized that it was trapped, the only possible escape route –a small window in the wall, a few inches above my head- was locked, as it noticed with dismay.

Its widened eyes focused back on me as it pressed itself against the wall, staring at me with horror.

Knowing the pony had nowhere left to run, I took a slow, delightful step forward and, with an anticipative smirk on my face, said, “Time’s up, little one.”

“There you are.” My boss noted without showing any major emotions, “Have you killed that thing?”

I gave him a confirming nod. “Yes, sir. I can guarantee you that it’s as dead as a dodo.”

The plump man gave me an appreciative nod of his head without smiling, then said, “Good.” After a moment, he added, “Then move your butt and get to table two. Those people are still waiting to order!”

With an apologetic look on my face, I replied, “I’m sorry, but I think I’ll have to pay the bathroom a short visit first.” I pointed a finger at my Bolognese-stained tailcoat, “I wouldn’t want to take any orders looking like this.”

My boss hesitated for a moment, but then nodded his head and said, “Yes. Go. But hurry up!”

“Of course, sir.” I replied politely and quickly turned away, heading for the bathroom door, hoping he hadn’t seen the squirming bulge protruding from my tailcoat’s breast pocket.

I arrived in the bathroom shortly after and quickly retreated into one of the three bathroom stalls, safely locking the door behind me, then hastily unbuttoned my coat.

The cyan pony escaped its black velvet prison, shooting upward and hovering in front of my eyes with a more than reproachful look on its face.

I couldn’t help but smirk at the pouting little creature as I held my right hand open, offering it a place to land and rest which it accepted after a moment of hesitation.

Suppressing a giggle from the tingling feeling its soft feathers caused at my hand, I grinned and muttered, “Heh, you’re one loyal pony, aren’t you?”

I made an inviting gesture with my free hand, pointing a finger at a tilted window above my head that led out of the bathroom stall right into the blackness of the night. “Here,” I made a soft, uplifting motion with my right hand, inviting the pony to leave, “you’re good to go.”

I didn’t believe it at first sight, but the pony shook its head, holding its position in the palm of my hand.

“C’mon.” I repeated the motion of my hand, but the pony didn’t move by an inch, “You’re free. Now fly!”

The creature gave me another determined shake of its head.

I let out a weak sigh, then felt how a grin found its way onto my face as I carefully reached out a finger, giving the pony a gentle scratch behind its ears which caused it to let out a small squeak of pleasure.

“Heh…” I muttered, “You’re pretty cute for … well, whatever you are. … Horse, pony or something.” I gave it a reflective look, “I think I’ll call you … Spectrum. Because you seem like a tough guy, and with your mane and all…”

The pony immediately broke contact with my finger, instead sitting up on my hand and giving me an unfazed look. I could’ve sworn I’d seen it cock an eyebrow.

However, before I could add anything, the little pony arose from my hand, lifting itself into the air and flying straight towards my head, performing a soft spot landing on my shoulder.

I felt the gentle touch of hooves wandering up to my neck, shortly followed by the tickling sensation of a fuzzy head leaning against my ear.

My first instinct was to shake my head and get rid of the sudden nuisance. However, knowing what –or who, for that matter- was sitting on my shoulder, I did my best to hold still and allow the pony to have its way with me.

“My name’s Rainbow Dash, by the way.” A female, barely audible, yet slightly amused voice hit my eardrums, “And I’m not a ‘horse’, I’m a pegasus!”

My eyes widened suddenly, not believing what I’d just heard. A weak, dumbfounded “Oh.” escaped my lips.

Rainbow Dash jumped off my shoulder and hovered back into my field of vision, her wings keeping her on eye level with me. With a sheepish grin on her face, she then added, “Just thought I’d let you know.”