Chapters How I Got Your Mother To Love Me
It was a quiet, peaceful day in Ponyville. The sun shone down upon the little town, with a gentle breeze keeping the citizens cool. The birds chirped and the little animals walked in their forest. The ponies themselves were strolling around, minding their own business. Nothing could upset such a peaceful day as this. Absolutely nothing!
Suddenly, three speeding blurs went through town, piercing the air with laughter.
Well, almost nothing.
"Last one there is a rotten egg." One of them yelled.
"I bet you hatched from one." Another one yelled.
"But I thought mom said we didn't come from eggs?" The last one said. The other two just rolled their eyes.
And here we meet Ruby, Sapphire, and Jessebelle. Three sweet, little dragonlings, or rather ponylings…Okay! An official title is not here. How about hybrids? Alright? Yes. That's what we'll call them. Now, introductions aside, back to the story.
The three girls were racing back to their cave, forcing ponies to take cover. Mr. and Mrs. Cake hadn't noticed them. They were too busy trying to carry a large cake over to their store. "Be careful with that." Mrs. Cake said.
"I will, honey buns." Mr Cake said, trying to keep his balance. The cake was rather large, and therefore hard to keep off the ground. His ears perked. "Did you hear something?" The Cakes turned around too see the girls flying their way, but it was too late. Jessebelle and Ruby quickly flew over it, making the couple sigh, but Sapphire couldn't control herself at that speed. She came right between them, knocking the cake out of their hands, before flying right into a house. The Cake's watched in terror as their work went tumbling to the ground. At the last moment, a small red pony jumped and caught the cake. The Cake's sighed again. "Thank you, Cherry Pie." Mrs. Cake said.
Cherry smiled, before opening her mouth wide and swallowing the giant cake. The Cake's facehooved.
Meanwhile, Sapphire slowly flew out of the house. "Sorry, Miss Top." She said, apologetically.
Carrot Top just smiled, looking like a mess. "No harm done." She said, blowing the dishelved hair out from her face.
Sapphire grinned and flew off to find her sisters. She found Jessebelle admiring herself in a mirror. She was fixing her mane, since a few hairs were sticking out of place during flight. Sapphire landed right beside her. "Seriously, what is so fascinating about your reflection?" She said.
Jessebelle rolled her eyes. "I just want to make sure I haven't ruined my mane." She said, trying to brush her hair. "Ugh, sometimes flying can be a real pain."
"Oh." Sapphire said, just remembering the race. "Does that mean Ruby beat us?"
Jessebelle's eyes flew open. "Certainly not." She said, taking off. As they sped up, they nearly didn't see Ruby. The stopped and looked her way. She was just looking through the window with a dreamy look on her face. The other two sisters looked at each and smirked. They then snuck up behind her. "So, looking at your boyfriend, are we?"
Ruby jumped back in surprise. "No." She said, blushing heavily.
Sapphire looked through the window. Octavia had moved into town and she had taken her son, Orchestro, along. He was right there, in the house, practicing alongside his mother. She sneered. "Someone's a liar." She said, turning to Ruby.
"No I'm not." Ruby said, stomping a hoof on the ground.
"Yes you are." The other two sisters said in unison. Ruby opened up her mouth to reply, before taking off. "Hey, no fair." Her sisters flew off after her.
As they neared the mountain, they sped past Ditzy Doo, spinning her in the air. The muffin she was carrying fell out of her hooves. She flew down and caught it. The sisters flew back to her. "Sorry, miss Doo." They said.
"That's okay." Ditzy Doo said. "I saved the muffin." She took a bite out of it. "Muffin." She said, with her mouth full
The sisters laughed, shaking their heads at Ditzy. After that burst of laughter, the girls continued on with the race. They were lucky they had taken those flying lessons from Aunt Rainbowdash, or else, flying to the top of the mountain would have taken hours. Ruby was the first to touch down. "Yes." She said, jumping up and down in triumph. Jessebelle softly landed, her snout in the air. Sapphire came crashing in. "Darn." She said, getting up.
Ruby smirked. "I won, so I choose what we do next." She said. The other two sisters groaned. "I choose, we ask dad how he and mom fell in love."
Jessebelle snorted. "Oh, I didn't see that one coming." She said, before her and Sapphire laughed.
Ruby glared at them, blushing. "Shut up." She said. "Anyways, we could get a listening cutie mark."
"Dragons don't get cutie marks." Jessebelle said, looking away.
"But mom was a pony." Ruby said.
"A unicorn to be precise." Sapphire said, raising a hoof to emphasize her point.
"Do you have to be precise about everything." Ruby said. "We already know what mom is."
"I was just clarifying." Sapphire said, a hiding her face behind her mane.
"Now, let's go get dad." Ruby said, walking forward. Sapphire followed.
Jessebelle sighed, rather annoyed at losing. "Alright." She said, strutting forward. "I can't say I wasn't curious."
Their father was sleeping on a huge pile of gems, not far from the entrance. A wicked smile spread across their faces. They then quietly walked over to his ear. "1…2…3." They whispered. "DADDY!" They yelled at the top of their voice.
Spike sprung up and yelled in terror. He fell over and rolled down the side of his hoard, until he crashed to the ground. He groaned as he heard his children giggling. He smiled, as he got up. "Girls." He said. "I've told you not to do that."
"We know." They said, bursting out in laughter. "But it's too funny."
Spike snorted, letting a bloom of smoke escape his nostril. "I'm sure it is." He said, getting comfortable again. He closed his eyes. Of course, he could feel his daughter's gazes. He opened his eyes. "What?"
"Daddy." Ruby said, walking forward. "Could you tell us the story about how you and mother fell in love?"
Spike lifted his head. "I haven't told you that?" He asked. His kids shook their heads. He scratched underneath his chin. "Are you girls sure you want to hear it now?"
"Well, you could always tell us where babies come from." Jessebelle said.
Spike's eyes widened. "No, no, no." He said. "That's a story for when you're older. Way older. In a few hundred years or more." The girls groaned. "Now. Here is the story of how I swooned your mother." The girls just eyed him. "How I awed your mother." They were silent. "How I got your mother to love me."
"Ohhh." His daughters said. He looked up at the sky and mouthed, 'Celestia help me.'
How I Got Your Mother To Love Me
Spike watched as his three precious daughters, settled themselves in. "Are you ready?" He said.
They nodded. "Yes, Daddy." They said, unanimously.
Spike chuckled. The triplets loved talking at the same time. He always found it charming. "Now, I shall start at the beginning." He said. "When I was a young dragon, I…"
"Daddy," Ruby interrupted. "I thought you were going to tell us how you got mommy to love you."
"I am." Spike said.
"But you were talking about when you were little." Sapphire said.
"Yes, it plays an important part in my story." Spike said, getting a little frustrated.
"But how?" Jessebelle said. "How can that possibly play any part?"
"Because it does." Spike said, his voice raised.
"How?" The triplets said.
"Because I say so!" Spike yelled. His daughters cringed at his shouting. He sighed, hating himself for snapping at them. "I'm sorry, but if you keep interrupting then I can't tell you the story, now can I?"
The triplets hanged their heads in shame. "Sorry daddy." They said.
"No harm done." Spike said, smiling down at them. 'It's impossible for me to stay upset at them.' He thought. 'They are just too cute.' "Now, give daddy a smile. I won't tell this story sad little faces." His daughters perked up and smiled up at him. Spike's smile grew. "That's better." He then looked off into the distance. "It all began when I was but a young dragon, many, many years you already know, Twlight and me have been together since the beginning. I would always help her around doing her chores and whatnot. It was a beautiful day in Canterlot, when..."
"Canterlot." Jessebelle said. "But what about Ponyville?"
Spike looked down at her. "Well, you see." He started. "I didn't always live in Ponyville. I spent my young life in Canterlot. I didn't arrive in Ponyville till the whole Nightmare Moon incident. But you three have already heard that story." The triplets nodded. "Now, where were we?" Spike tapped his chin. "Awww, I remember.I was putting some books up on the shelf, when Twilight came home from school.""
The sun shone through the windows, illuminating the small house. Spike was ambling on, trying to carry a rather large stack of books.
He put the books to the ground, as he brought the ladder over to a shelf. He picked up a couple of books and headed up.
The little dragon was trying to reach a rather high spot. 'Stupid ladder.' He thought, getting on his tiptoes. "SPIKE!" He heard Twilight yell. At that, Spike lost balance, swinging back and forth, until….CRASH! He landed right onto his face. "Oh there you are." Spike got and put a hand to his head, covering a slight bruise. "I'd like you to meet someone."
"Yeah, who is it." Spike said. He opened his eyes. Twilight was standing there with an annoyed expression on her face. 'As always.' He thought, but what really intrigued him was the unicorn standing next to her. She was a red pony with a black mane. Spike's mouth fell open, and one could say he had hearts in his eyes.
"Her name is Lollipop." Twilight said.
"But you can call me Lolly for short." Lollipop said, smiling at him.
"She's staying here, so I can tutor her." Twilight said. "Is that okay with you?"
Spike just loved her smile, and everything about her. She was the most beautiful pony he had ever seen.
"But daddy," Jessebelle said, raising a hoof. "What about other dragons? Surely, your first crush must have been a dragon."
Spike lowered his head. "Jesse, if I liked other dragons, you wouldn't be here." Jessebelle lowered her head. He pinched the bridge of his snout. "Please don't make me feel guilty for correcting you."
"If I stop, can you get me some ice-cream." Jessebelle said, giving him the puppy dog stare.
Spike sighed. "Yes." He said, making her smile. "Besides, there weren't any other dragons. None that I could ever see."
"Why?" Sapphire said.
"Well, a lot of ponies live there." Spike said. "And most dragons don't get along with ponies."
"Why?" Sapphire said.
"I don't know." Spike said, scratching his head. "I've never gotten to know many dragons. Mostly because a lot of dragons are grumpy."
"Like you." The girls said, before giggling.
Spike chuckled. "No, not like me." He said, smiling down at them. "More like 'I'll smash you' grumpy."
"Ooooh." The triplets said.
Spike stared absentmindedly. "Spike." Twilight said, looking at her companion. She waved a hoof in his face. "Equestria to Spike." He didn't answer.
"Is there something wrong." Lollipop said, a little worried for him.
The sound of her voice, shook him out of his daze. He shook his head. "Nope." He said, smiling a big smile. "Everything is fine. Actually better then fine. Not that fine isn't good, nor is not the best. You know."
"Yes." Twilight said, raising an eyebrow. "But we aren't here to study grammar."
Spike raised a finger, chuckling nervously. "Right." He said. "Is there anything I could do?" He hoped to be of assistance. Even more now that 'she' was here.
"No, thank you." Twilight said, shooing him away. "We need to be alone. You know. To study. Will you be fine with that, or is fine not good enough."
Spike narrowed his eyes. "I get it." He said. "Sheesh, you don't have to be like that about it." He walked off.
"Well, don't you think that was a bit rude." Lollipop said.
"He's Spike." Twilight said, as though it was a fact. "I do care for him, but sometimes, I need some space too. He can get pretty annoying."
"But you already have enough space." Lollipop said, returning some facts. "No one ever talks to you. You just sit all alone studying. I mean, it's just sad. You're never going to make friends at that rate."
"I don't need friends." Twilight said, sending a small glare her way. She used her magic to bring down a book. "Now, are we going to study or not."
"Well, I guess so." Lollipop said, opening her own book.
Spike had been listening to her. "So, she doesn't consider me a friend." Spike said, sitting with his arms crossed. A few tears stung at his eyes. "I do everything around here. I mean everything. And I don't get considered a friend."
"That hurt." Spike said to his daughter. He put a hand to his heart. "It really did. I loved her like a big sister. She practically was my big sister. But don't get me wrong. She wasn't always like that, but sometimes, she was a real pain. And those sometimes, cut me deep.
(Sometime later)
"Well, it was nice studying with you and meeting Spike." Lollipop said, at the door. "I'll be back here tomorrow."
Twilight waved her off. "See you then." She said, before closing the door.
"Oh, you closed it yourself." Spike said, leaning against a wall. His tone was cynical "That's a change."
Twilight stared at him, confused. "What are you talking about?" She said. "I do things for myself. I don't need you all the time."
"Oh, so you don't need me." Spike shot back.
"That's not what I said." Twilight said, stomping a hoof to the ground. "What's gotten into you?"
"Nothing." Spike said, waving a paw in the air. "I just work here. It's not like I'm your friend or anything."
Twilight's eyes went wide. "Oh, so you heard me." She said, before narrowing her eyes. "What have I told you about eavesdropping?"
"That it's a bad habit." Spike said, imitating her.
Twilight sighed. "I didn't mean it like that." She said, but Spike just turned, his back facing her. She walked up behind him, and patted him on the head. "I don't consider you a friend, I..."
Spike immediatly turned around. He glared fiercely at her. "Not a friend." He said. "Not a friend." He advanced, making her step backwards. "I do everything around here. I mean everything." He stopped, and tapped his chin. He lost his glare in thought. "Well, except cooking, buying groceries, and..." 'You're losing the point.' He reminded himself. He shook his head. "You know what I mean. And you didn't even let me talk to her. To Lollipop."
"We were studying." Twilight said, trying to defend herself.
"You shooed me away." Spike said, his eye twitching a bit.
"Spike hear me out." Twilight said. Spike waited for her response, but was still glaring at her. She took in a deep breath. "I don't consider you a friend, I consider you more then that." Spike raised an eyebrow. "I mean, we've been through so much together, although, nothing big." She smiled, but he kept glaring. "I always thought of you as something dear. Like...like..."
"Well." Spike said, tapping a foot in impatiance.
"Like family." Twilight said, with a stern face.
Spike was a bit taken aback. "Like family." He said. Twilight nodded. Spike just couldn't help but laugh. Twilight was taken aback by this, and the hug he gave her. "Of course I'm family. I'm like a brother or something."
"Yes, a rather annoying one." Twilight said, chuckling. She returned the hug.
"Awwww!" The three girls said. "That's so cute."
"Almost as cute as you three." Spike said, to which hids kids giggled. "And I think that's enough for now." Spike turned and nestled into his nest of gems.
"What!" They yelled, causing Spike to roll out of his pile. Again!
"Why must you yell?" Spike said, clutching his head. "I"m right here."
"But you can't end it there." Ruby said.
"I want to hear the rest." Sapphire said.
"You must." Jessebelle said. "You must. You must."
"Later." Spike said, raising a claw to silence their protests. "All good things come to those who wait."
"Did that help Nightmare Moon?" Ruby said. The other two giggled.
"The story comes in parts." Spike said. "It's better that way."
"Is it?" Ruby said, eyeing him. She raised an eyebrow. "Or is it just stalling so the story is dragged out more?"
"Or it's because I'd like a little rest." Spike said, eyeing her back. "Daddy had to do a lot of work yesterday, and he needs to sleep."
"Talking in the third person." Jessebelle said. She raise her snout in the air. "How rude." She walked off. Her sisters followed.
Spike groaned. "How is it I survived this long with those three?" He said.
And thus the story continues!
How I Got Your Mother To Love Me
The wind gently blew, pulling the few clouds in the sky, peacefully along. On one of these clouds, were triplet sisters. "I think that story was too short." Sapphire said.
"The story has only just started." Jessebelle said.
"Yeah, well he should have given us something better than that." Ruby said, kicking at the cloud they were sitting on.
"You're just mad cause dad didn't tell you how to get someone to love you." Jessebelle said, smirking.
Ruby blushed. "No." She said. "I wouldn't need that. Why would I need to know that." Jessebelle got on her hind legs and pretended to play a violin. Sapphire giggled. Ruby just glared at her. Her face was ripe red with embarrassment. "Stop it."
Jessebelle giggled before sitting down. "Anyways, I think it's better that he gives us his full experience with love." She said. "For if one is to decipher the intricacies of the heart, one must find the reasons behind the actions. Therefore, a more complete story allows one to express all that needs to be expressed, which ends with a much better satisfaction." The other two just stared at her, with their mouth's open. "What? Just because I'm a lady, doesn't mean I'm stupid."
"Hey!" The other two said. "We're ladies too."
"Actually, none of you are." Said a voice out of nowhere. Suddenly, a blur flew right through the cloud, before a light brown Pegasus came down onto it. He flicked his Rainbow mane to the side.
"And what did you mean by that." Jessebelle said, tilting her head ever so slightly.
"What do you think it means, blankie." Sky Blitz sneered.
Sapphire shrunk back and started to tear up. Ruby, on the other hand, jumped up and got right into his face. "Take that back." She demanded.
"Make me." Sky Blitz responded, cocky as ever.
Jessebelle got in between them. "Now, now, let's not start this again." She said.
"You're right." Sky Blitz said, nodding. "I need to take a break from winning."
"Oohh." Ruby said. If looks could kill, hers would wipe out the whole town.
Sky Blitz cringed under it. "Alright, I don't win all the time." He said. Ruby kept on glaring at him. "Will you please stop with the glare? It's rather scary."
"Apologize." Ruby said, stomping a hoof to the ground. "You know how that effects her."
"I didn't mean to offend you." Sky Blitz said. "I was just kidding. Now stop glaring."
Ruby pulled back, smiling. She looked back at Sapphire who was huddled back, holding back tears. "He apologized." She said.
"It's not like she won't ever get her cutie mark." Sky Blitz said.
Sapphire buried her face under her hooves and whimpered. "You had to keep talking." Jessebelle said.
"Sorry." Sky Blitz said. "Seemed I went a bit too far."
"A bit?" Ruby said.
"Okay a lot, sheesh." Sky Blitz said.
Jessebelle patted Sapphire's head. "There, there." She said, trying to sooth her sister. "Blitz was just being an idiot as always."
"Hey." Sky Blitz said. Sapphire giggled at his protest. "What were you three doing up here anyways?"
"Girly things." Jessebelle said, fluffing her hair. "You wouldn't be interested."
"I think you're lying." Sky Blitz said.
"Friends don't lie to each other." Jessebelle said, before raising her snout in the air. "No matter how rude they are."
"Alright, I'll believe you." Sky Blitz said, before going over to the edge of the cloud. He smirked. "If you beat me in a race to the ground."
Ruby got right next to him. "You're on." She said.
They got themselves ready. "1...2...3..." At three, Ruby immediately took off towards the ground. Sky Blitz just stayed put, smiling.
"Why didn't you go?" Sapphire said, rather confused.
"Oh, I don't need to go." Sky Blitz said. "Mom says I'm the second fastest flier in Equestria, right behind her. Besides, Ruby has some company down there." The two girls went over and looked down. There eyes widened and they giggled.
Ruby dropped right to the ground. She hoof pumped and looked up at the sky. "Take that Blitz." She said. "Who's the fastest now?"
"Who are you talking too?" A rather familiar voice spoke up. Ruby froze in place, only lowering her head to stare into Orchestro's purple eyes.
'They are so lovely.' She thought. She pulled back a few steps. "Sorry." She said timidly. "Just racing is all."
"That would explain your speed." Orchestro said. "Another few feet and you would have come crashing onto me."
Ruby blushed at the thought of being so close to him. "It's a good thing I missed." She said.
"Yes, indeed." Orchestro said, chuckling. "I best be off. Mother is expecting me for this evening practice."
"Oh, you don't need the practice." Ruby said. "You're so good." She turned her head away in embarrassment.
Orchestro smiled. "Well, thank you for the compliment." He said. "I'd love to see you later." Ruby simply nodded, her mind blank. He smiled, before walking off. "Bye."
"See you later." Ruby said, in a rather small voice. She then looked up at the cloud. 'You're going to pay for this, Blitz.' She thought, before speeding up into the cloud.
Sky Blitz and the others were sitting there, with big grins on their faces. "So, how was it?" He said.
"I'll tell you." Ruby said, before readying herself to sprint. "After I give you a black eye."
"Oh, come on." Sky Blitz said. "It was the least I could do. You helped me get my cutie mark," He showed off his flank, which sported a tornado shaped rainbow. "And I got you hooked up with the colt of your dreams."
"We didn't hook up." Ruby said, blushing. "Just a little chatter is all. Anyways, what about making it up to Sapphire."
"I did." Sky Blitz said, nodding over at the pony in question. Sapphire was licking a strawberry ice-cream cone.
"But, I wasn't gone that long." Ruby said, looking back from the cloud all the way to Ponyville.
"I'm the fastest colt in Equestria, remember." Sky Blitz said.
The three sisters went back home. Ruby walked along, kept on kicking the ground as she walked. "Boys." She said. "So stupid. So cute." She blushed at her last statement.
Sapphire was licking her lips, of the last of the ice-cream. "Why didn't I get some ice-cream?" Jessebelle said.
"Maybe Blitz favors her." Ruby said, still rather annoyed at her whole ordeal.
"Ugh, not Blitz." Sapphire said, sticking out her tongue. "He's a friend."
"Then leave Orchestro alone." Ruby said.
When they arrived, Spike was holding his head. "Hi girls." He said.
"Why are you holding your head?" Jessebelle said.
"You're mother found out that I yelled at you." Spike said, rubbing hi forehead. "I hate it when she gives her talks."
"Well you shouldn't have yelled." Ruby spat.
"You girls know I hate yelling at you." Spike said. "I rarely do it, if ever." He looked down at her, taking in her expression. "What's got you frowning about?"
"Nothing." Ruby said, looking away.
"Did Sky Blitz beat you in a race again." Spike said. "I told you that winning isn't everything."
Ruby turned on him. "I didn't lose to him." She said. "I could beat him every day of the week."
"Then, why are you sad?" Spike said, getting a bit concerned.
Jessebelle pretended to play a violin. "Stop it." Ruby yelled, blushing.
Spike raised an eyebrow. "And what is that about?" He inquired.
"Nothing, daddy." Ruby said, not wanting eye contact.
Spike eyed her for another minute, before sighing. "If you say it's nothing, I'll believe you." He said. "Now, did you girls come back here for the rest of the story?" They nodded. "Good. Then I'll begin. Let's see." He tapped his chin. "Now, I had been watching Lollipop from afar for quite a while. I rarely did talk to her. Too shy and what not. But, I wanted to change that."
Spike just stood and stared around the corner at Lollipop. Twilight was helping her with her studies, as usual. 'How can someone be so perfect while just reading?' He thought. Soon, however, Lollipop got up and left the room. Spike knew he had to talk to Twilight. He rushed over to her. "Wow, what's the rush?" Twilight said, once he ran up to her.
"Lollipop." Spike said.
"Oh, so it's the usual rush." Twilight said, rolling her eyes. "What about her?"
"I need to know if you have any books on...dating." Spike said, looking away.
"Dating?" Twilight said. "Spike, wouldn't another dragon..."
"No." Spike interrupted her. "She's the one. I know it."
Twlight sighed. "Alright." She said. "They're probably under D."
Spike took a step towards them. "Umm, Twilight." He said. "If you knew where they were, why didn't you use them before."
Twilight turned around and looked at him, sending over a stern gaze. "And what is that supposed to mean?" She said.
"Nothing." Spike said, hurrying over to the section. He took him a moment, before he found the right book. 'The Perfect Date'. "Found it." He quickly skimmed it, before coming across a particular page. "Knowing what your date prefers or fancies helps improve ones chances when dating." He hurried over to Twilight. "How do I do this?"
Twlight looked at it. "Well, I would study up on this person, maybe follow them around, check up with their freinds, etc." She said.
"Isn't that, I don't know, stalking." Spike said.
"No, it's study." Twilight said, getting back to her book. "I do the same with animals. Why shouldn't the same be done with ponies?"
"Becasue it's creepy." Spike said, giving her a 'duh' expression.
"What's creepy?" Lollipop said, from right beside Spike.
Spike tensed up when he realized she was there. "Uhhhh, nothing." He said. "Just a creepy story I was reading."
"Oh." Lollipop said, before getting her things together. "Well, see you both tomorrow."
"Bye." Twlight said, as Lollipop left.
"So, if you fancy someone, you should spy on them." Ruby said.
"No, that's not what I mean." Spike said, shaking his head.
"But you spied on..." Sapphire started.
"How about I continue the story." Spike said. "And on a side note, please don't got spying on other people."
"We won't." The triplets said. 'I don't believe them.' Spike thought.
Lollipop was strolling through town, minding her own business. She had no idea she was being watched. Spike stuck his head out through the bushes and looked at her through his binoculars. He smiled. "Yep, they work." He said.
"I would say so." A brown, earth pony said, looking through his own set.
Spike put his own down and looked at him. "And you are?" He said.
The earth pony lent out a hoof. "Erwen." He said, with an Australian accent. "It's a great to meet you, mate."
Spike took it and shook it. "Pleased to meet you too." He said.
"That shiela you were looking at." Erwen said, before whistling. "She's a beaut if I ever did see one."
Spike blushed. "I wasn't looking." He said.
A white unicorn stuck his head out of the bush. "Will you two shut your bloody mouths?" He said, with a slight scottish accent. "I'm trying to spy here."
"Who are you?" Spike said.
"Bond." The unicorn said.
"Bond?" Spike said, raising an eyebrow. "That's a wierd name."
"It's my code name." Bond said.
"Then what's your real name." Spike said.
"Classified." Bond said. "Have you seen a pony by the name of Goldhoof."
"No." SPike said. "I think I would remember someone with a golden hoof."
Bond just stared at him for a moment. "Americans." He said, shaking his head.
"I wouldn't be so judgemental." A gray earth pony said, coming up. He wore a detectives outfit. "The name's Clueso." He said, with a french accent. "This Goldhoof of yours has stollen The Pink Poodle. And I shall be the one to bring him in."
"Look, here you're too young to take him on." Bond said, pointing a hoof at him. "I've been tracking him long before you got here."
"Hardly." Clueso said. "Now if you excuse me, I'll be...WHAAA!" He tripped on one of the vines and went tumbling into a bunch of baskets.
"Crikey." Erwen said. "That bloke is going to feel that one in the morning."
Spike groaned. 'This bush is too crowded.' He thought. He stepped out from it, backing up from the strange trio. Suddenly, he bumped into something. "Oh, hey Spike." Lollipop said. Spike turned around to look at her. She was smiling down at him. "What are you doing here?"
The little dragon stared at her for a moment, before gulping. "Just getting a few things for Twilight." He said, nervously.
"Well, if you could be a dear, would you help me get a few things as well." Lollipop said. "I'm not exactly that good with magic yet."
Spike smiled. "Of course." He said. 'Dreams do come true.' He thought, happily.
"Great." Lollipop said, moving on.
"Wow." Ruby said. "You were desperate."
"I was not." Spike said, raising a single claw. "I was trying to help out a lady in need."
"Desperate." Ruby said. Spike groaned.
It had a been a hard days out, shopping and all. Spike was exhausted as they reached her front door. Lollipop opened the door for him. "Leave them in the front hall." She said. He put the boxes down and started breathing loudly. "You've been a big help." Lollipop said, giving him a small kiss on the cheek.
At that simple gesture, Spike felt relieved. He sprang up and bowed. "Anytime." He said, before walking out.
(Back at Twilight's)
"So how did it go." Twilight said, before she saw the dreamy expression on his face.
"Wonderful." Spike said.
"You're meeting went better then mine." Ruby moaned.
"What?" Spike said, growing concerned. "Is there a boy I should know about?"
Ruby quickly shook her head. "No, daddy." She said. "I swear there isn't."
"Yeah, she just likes Orchestro is all." Sapphire said, before covering her mouth with her hooves. Jessebelle face-hooved.
"Orchestro, eh." SPike said. Ruby nodded, her face looking down at the floor. Spike lifted her chin, so that she could look at him. "Don't be ashamed for liking this boy. Love is a marvelous thing. YOu should never stop purseing it. Anyways, I'm your father. I should know about these things."
"Yes, daddy." Ruby said, nodding.
"On a side note, if Orchestro harms you in anyway..." Spike said, his face stern.
"He won't." Ruby quickly put in. Spike sighed and patted her head. 'My little girl is growing up.' He thought.
How I Got Your Mother To Love Me
Sorry everyone for this late update. I had a case of writers block. I hope this chapter was worth the wait.
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Suddenly, there was a bright flash. Spike had to close his eyes for a moment. "Wow!" A voice said. "Even after all this time, it still saps a lot out of me to get here."
Spike knew that voice. He rubbed his eyes for a few seconds, before opening them. There stood a really light purple unicorn. "Dinky?" He said. "You're here early."
Dinky Doo just smiled up at him. "Well, you are my favorite customer." She said, giggling.
Spike lowered his head right in front of her. "Dinky, you're a mail pony," he said. "I'm not technically a customer." Dinky just rolled her eyes. "So, how has Ditzy been doing?"
Dinky's smile faded. "Well," she said, nodding her head. "She's been getting better. Most of her injuries have healed and she's getting over her illness. The doctor's assure me that she'll be right as rain in a couple of weeks."
"Good to hear." Spike said, pulling up. "I rather miss having her come crashing into my cave day after day."
Dinky raised an eyebrow. "Oh, did you now?" She said.
Spike's eyes widened a bit. "Not that I enjoyed seeing her crash," he started, trying to find a way out of his predicament. "What I meant was, I miss the company."
Dinky just stared firmly at him for a moment, before chuckling. "I took no offense by it." She said. "Mother always did have trouble watching where she was going. I've told her time and time again to get glasses, but she won't listen to me. Why…"
"Dinky!" Spike said, startling the unicorn. "You're doing it again."
Dinky couldn't help but blush. "Sorry," she said. "It won't happen again."
"That's what you said last time," Spike said, smirking. "And the time before that."
Dinky gave him an annoyed expression. She used her magic to lift a few letters over to him. Spike grabbed the letters. "Now, there," she said, before turning around. "That it's for today. I'll just go and punch out now. Say hi to the girls for me." She turned her head back to look at him and smirked. "I'll just leave you be. Last night must have been awfully exhausting."
Spike couldn't help but blush. He opened his mouth to answer, but Dinky teleported herself out of the cave. 'Confound that girl.' He thought. No sooner then she had left, then his three triplets come came rushing over to him. He had no time to react, as they went careening into his nose.
The girls landed harshly onto the ground, while Spike clutched his nose. "I knew we shouldn't have been flying that fast." Jessebelle groaned. "I told you, but did you listen? No!"
"Hey," Ruby said, getting up out of the pile. "You didn't have to follow me, but you did."
Jessebelle got up and faced her. "Well, I wasn't the one that lead us right into dad's nose." She said.
"Girls." Spike spoke up, trying to get them to stop. He placed his hand in between them. "Stop this pointless bickering at once."
The two girls lowered their heads. "Sorry, dad." They said.
Spike looked over to Sapphire, who was holding back tears. "Sorry, daddy." She said. "I didn't mean to hurt you."
Spike lowered his head and nuzzled her. "You didn't," he said. "I'm perfectly all right." He checked her over, trying to see if she was hurt. "Are you in pain?" Sapphire nodded and lifted her left front hoof. He picked her up. He brought her back into the cave. Gently, he placed her down on his hoard of gems as he went back into his supplies. He quickly found the bandage strips. He hurried back over to her and wrapped up her hoof. After he was finished, he kissed it. "Better?"
Sapphire nodded. "Thank you, daddy." She said.
Spike nuzzled her again. "No problem, my precious jewel." He said. It was a little nickname he liked to call his children, now and again. "Remember to keep off this hoof. It's nothing major. It will be better within a week." The dragon looked over to his other two daughters. "Now, how about I tell you more of the story."
Ruby nodded furiously. "Yeah, tell us." She said.
Spike smiled and gently patted her head. "Calm down," he told her. "I'm sure you will all enjoy this one."
Twilight put her empty sacks onto her back. She needed to get more supplies for her upcoming classes, so she intended to get that over with. She turned to Spike. "I'll be gone for a while," She told him. "So, I've left some snacks ready for you in the kitchen."
"Got it." Spike said.
"Don't go and burn this house down," Twilight said. "Celestia won't be pleased with that."
"Like I'd ever do that." Spike scoffed. Twilight just eyed him for a moment. He sighed. "I'll be careful."
Twilight smiled. "And remember, Lollipop is coming over today," she said. Spike's head perked at this. "So, keep her company until I return."
Spike smiled. 'Me, alone with Lollipop.' He thought. "I will," he said, enthusiastically.
Twilight chuckled. "Bye," she said, heading out the door.
Spike waved her off, before closing the door. "Alright," he said to no one but himself. "I got to get this place perfect." He rushed over to a pile of books and picked them up. In the blink of an eye, he put them back into place. Each one as neat as ever. The little dragon went over and grabbed a brush. He sped around the library, clearing away all the dust bunnies and such around. When he was through, he let out a sigh and wiped his forehead. "That's all of it." He then turned towards the door. He gasped. 'The handle!' He rushed over and began dusting it off. Suddenly, the door opened. Spike was too frantic and concerned for the doorknob, that he didn't realize he was dusting Lollipop, until she started coughing.
"Spike, that's enough." Lollipop said, raising a hoof to her mouth to try and stop herself from coughing.
Spike blushed and stepped back, with the duster behind his back. "Sorry, about that." He said. "I got carried away."
"Yeah, I know." Lollipop said. She looked around. "Where's Twilight?"
"She went off to get more school supplies." Spike said.
"School, school, school." Lollipop said, rolling her eyes. "I swear, that's the only thing that goes on inside her head."
Spike wanted to say something in Twilight's defense, but he didn't want to argue with Lollipop. They stood quietly for a moment. "So..." Spike began, trying to break the stillness. "What now?"
"We could read," Lollipop said. "There's nothing much else to do here. Unless, you'd like me to dress you up."
"Reading it is." Spike said, dashing to the cabinant. He could hear Lollipop giggling behind him. He loved that sound. He quickly grabbed one and brought it too her. "Here you go."
"Creatures of the Everfree Forest." Lollipop read the title. "Why would I need to read that? I'm not taking a biology class." Spike quickly put it back before fetching another one. 'She'll love this one.' He brough it over to her. "Extreme stunts." She eyed him for a moment. "I'm not into that kind of stuff." Spike went back and grabbed another one. 'This could help.' He presented it to Lollipop. "Interspecies relationships: The Ups and Downs." She reeled back. "Why would we need that?" Spike looked like he was about to pass out. 'Okay, definetly to forward.' "I said, I"m not into biology." He sighed. 'Dodged that mistake.' Lollipop headed over to the book case. "I'll choose one myself."
Spike ran over to her side. "I can help." He said.
"So far, your choices have been terrible," Lollipop said, making Spike lower his head in shame. "I'm a lady and those books weren't made for ladies." She turned her head to look at Spike. She sighed and nuzzled him a bit. "I"m sorry for snapping."
Spike couldn't help but blush when she touched him. "N-n-n-no problem." He stuttered. He went back and grabbed the ladder. As Lollipop was going through books, Spike started to climb. "So, what book do you need."
"Something about history." Lollipop said, looking through another two books. She used her magic to place them in a neat pile.
Spike immediatly ran up to the history section and scrolled through the books. "Ah-ha." He said, picking one out. "Got one." He was so excited about pleasing Lollipop, that he pulled it out to quickly. He fell of the ladder and right onto the unicorn below.
The both groaned. "Next time," Lollipop said. "Be more careful."
Spike smiled sheepishly. "Sorry." He said, getting up.
The book that he had picked, was lying on Lollipop face. She pushed it off and read the title. "Well, I certainly can say I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition." She said.
Suddenly, three Earth ponies, with red uniforms and hats, came barging into the room. A certain dramatic music played. "Nopony expects the Spanish Inquisition." The lead pony said. "Our chief weapons are suprise, suprise and fear. Our two weapons are fear and suprise and ruthless efficiency. Our three weapons are fear and suprise and ruthless efficiency and an almost fenatical devotion to the Princesses. NO! Four." He stopped himself, trying to recollect his thoughts. He raised a hoof to quiet everyone down. "Amongst our weapons." He stopped for a moment. "Amongst our weaponry are such as fear and...I'm come in again." The three ponies rushed outside the door.
Spike and Lollipop stared at each other for a moment. "What just happened?" They said in unison.
"Say it." The lead pony said, sticking his head in through the door.
"Say what?" Lollipop asked.
"Say what you said before," The pony said. "About not expecting us."
"Why?" Spike asked. "It doesn't make much sense really. We don't want to to deal with you."
"Anyways, we didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition to come bargin into here." Lollipop said, before putting a hoof over her mouth.
The music played again. "Nopony expects the Spanish Inquisition." The pony said, as he and his cohorts came bursting in. "Our chief weapons are..."
"I know already." Lollipop spoke up.
"How dare you interrupt me." The Earth pony said. His coat was a light brown, while his mane was a much darker shade of brown. "Cardinal Biggles. Put interrupting a Cardinal on the list of heracy acts." The other pony nodded. His coat was the same as his, but his mane was black as night. He had a large mustache on his snout. "Now, Cardinal Fang, list the charges."
Cardinal Fang stepped foward he looked similar to the Cardinal Biggles, but was a little larger. "You are charged with the act of heracy against the Princesses." He said, before taking a steps towards her.
"No, not yet." The first pony said, pulling him back. He then came forward. "How do you plead."
"I don't understand what I"m accused of." Lollipop said. "And I'd never do anything against the Princesses."
The ponies laughed. {Diabolical laughter}
"We shall soon change your mind about that." The Earth pony said, moving his hooves about frantically. {Diabolical acting} "Fetch, the soft cushions." Cardinal Biggles went over and grabbed a cushion. He went over to Lollipop, but Spike stepped in his way. Cardinal Fang tackled him and held him in place. The leader just stared at Spike. "Don't worry, I, Cardinal Cardinal, won't hurt her...much." He smirked.
"Wait!" Spike said. "Your name is Cardinal."
"Yes." Cardinal said. "What of it?"
"Isn't that, you know, redundant." Spike said.
"No it isn't." Cardinal said.
"Uhhh, should I do it now, sir?" Biggles asked.
"Do it." Cardinal said. "Ignore the dragon and do it." Biggles smilled and started laughing. He poked her with the cushions. "Confess! Confess! Confess!" He kept on demanding.
"It's not working." Biggles said, stopping.
"Did you get all the stuffing up one end?" Cardinal asked.
"Yes, my lord." Biggles said, handing over the cushion.
Cardinal grabbed the cushion, before throwing it to the ground. He eyed Lollipop. "She's made of harder stuff." He said. "Put her on the confy bed."
"Comfy bed." Everyone else said.
"Look, we forgot to bring the comfy chair." Cardinal said. "So a bed will do." The other ponies lifted Spike and Lollipop and brought her to the bed. Once they place her there, the Cardinal smirked. "Now, you shall confess."
"No, I don't feel like it." Lollipop said.
"How about now?" The Cardinal asked.
"Nope." Lollipop said.
Before he could say anything else, something started to ring. "That's it." Cardinal said. Biggles handed him a phone. "Hello." They could hear the faint sound of someone talking. "Ah, yes." He stopped it. "Pack up boys, we're off." The Earth ponies were out of the door, like a shot. Cardinal turned around at the entrance. "We'll be back, or we aren't the Spanish Inquisition." He closed the door shut.
The two were silent for a moment. "What just happened?" They both said.
The three girls were giggling and rolling around on the floor. "I'm serious, that did happen." Spike said.
"Yeah right." Ruby said.
"I believe you daddy." Sapphire said, looking up at him. Spike smiled and stroked her hair.
"I can honestly say, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition." Jessebelle said.
Suddenly, a dramatic music started to play. Cherry Pie leaped out of the pile of gems. "Nopony expects the Spanish Inquisition." She said. "Our chief weapons are...are..."
Cardinal stuck his head out. "Suprise." He said.
"Suprise and...um..." Cherry Pie said, tapping her chin.
"Fear." Cardinal said.
All of a sudden, Pinkie Pie stuck her head out. "Giver her a chance to do this on her own." She said.
"I know, I know." Cardinal said. "I'm just trying to help her."
"A Python is best at improve." Pinkie Pie quoted. "That's what you told me."
"Yes, but help can be acceptable." Cardinal said. "So, don't go there and use my own family tree against me."
"I'm apart of this family too." Pinkie Pie shot at him.
Cardinal sighed and nuzzled. "Of course you are." He said. Pinkie Pie giggled. "How could I forget?"
"Well..." PInkie Pie started.
"Anniversaries don't count." Cardinal said.
"Mommy! Daddy!" Cherry said. The two parents looked at her. "I think I got it." She turned around. "Our chief weapons are suprise, fear, ruthless effefiency, an almost fanatical devotion to the Princesses and nice red uniforms."
The two gasped and picked her up. "She did it." They exclaimed, before kissing her cheeks.
"I always knew you had it in you." Cardinal said.
Pinkie Pie wiped her eyes with a hankerchief. "I'm so happy." She said. She hugged the little filly to her chest.
"Hello." Spike said. "Not that I want to interrupt, but HOW DID YOU GET IN HERE!" He yelled the last part. "I've been up for hours."
"Well, I can explain." Cardinal said.
Just then, a gray pony, with a tan mane came in. "No, no, no." The Earth pony said. "There will be no explaining here."
"But Uncle..." Cardinal started.
"No, I won't have any of this foolishness." The Earth pony said, before looking at me. "Alright, author, focus on me."
"There isn't an author." Spike said. "This is real life."
"And you would know." The Earth Pony said, before turning back to me. "Now, end this story now."
The Earth pony came over to me. "You know the readers are going to be frustrated you broke the fourth wall and stopped this chpater." I said.
"No need," The Colonel replied. "We Pythons are rather famous for that. Including Pinkie Pie. She's made a fine addition to the family."
"Yes, I can imagine that she'd get along nicely." I said. "But, still, you can't just go around stopping chapters."
"Shut up, critic." Colonel said, putting his button on my chest. "I can do this for as long as I want. I can even do it..."
"FOREVER!" Pinkie Pie popped out into the room.
"That's excellent." Colonel said.
How I Got Your Mother To Love Me
The peaceful evening was pierced by a speeding streak in the sky. Sky Blitz flew as fast as he could. Usually, this meant that he was trying to perform the Sonic Rainboom, like his mother. But today, there was another reason. And that reason was giggling on his back. "Faster, faster." Cherry Pie cried.
He smiled. Of his friends, Cherry was the youngest. He always loved hanging out with her, 'cause she was so fun and energetic. "If you say so." Sky said, picking up the pace.
"WHEEEEEEEEE!" Cherry Pie cried, as they flew on. Sky Blitz couldn't help but laughing. He loved the way the wind swept past his mane. He knew that some of it was probably smacking up against Cherry's face, but she didn't seem to mind. So, he kept up his pace, until something caught his eye. He would have stopped right there, but Cherry was riding him. He didn't want to risk throwing her off. She could get hurt. 'I'd never live with myself after something like that.' He thought. Instead, he circled around a bit, before coming to a stop behind a building. Once he did, Cherry Pie jumped off and looked up at him. "Why did we stop? I was having so much fun." She whined.
"Cause I just thought of something." Sky Blitz said, smirking.
"What is it?" Cherry Pie said, eager to hear it. She always looked up to him, like the big brother she never had.
Sky Blitz led her slowly around the building and into a set of bushes. He slowly peeled them away, to reveal Ruby. She was staring through a window, and they could see her long reptilian tail swishing back and forth. Cherry giggled. "Now, I'd like you to go over and say hello." Sky said.
Cherry raised an eyebrow. "You stopped flying, just so I could say hello?" She asked.
"Make it one of your special hellos." Sky Blitz said.
"Okay." Cherry Pie said. "If you say so."
Ruby sighed once again, as she peered in through the window to get another look at him. Orchestro played his instrument beautifully. He seemed to be at one with his instrument. She loved that about him. His determination, his skill, and his total commitment. Oh, how she wanted him to treat her the same way. To hold her as lovingly as he did his instrument. She blushed, when she realized she was wagging her tail. 'Stop thinking like that.' She thought. 'You know dad would kill him if he did.' Still, she couldn't help it.
"SURPRISE!" Someone yelled behind her.
This startled Ruby, who let out a yelp and accidently fell through the window. She hit the floor with a thud. She got up and rubbed her head. "What the hay was that?" She said.
"Are you okay?" A familiar voice said. A hoof was lowered towards her.
"Yeah, I'm..." Ruby said, looking up at the hoof's owner. It was Orchestro! She blushed as she stared into his purple eyes. Gently she took his hoof. She thought. 'He's holding my hoof.' She fought the urge to squeal as he helped her up. "Thank you." She hid her face behind her light blue mane.
"It was my pleasure." Orchestro said, bowing. Ruby couldn't help but blush under her red scales. Thankfully, they hid her blush well enough. "Now, how did this happen?"
Ruby's eyes widened. She couldn't tell him the truth. 'Well, I was spying on you through the window.' She thought. 'How's he going to take that? Okay, girl. Think of something.' "Someone spooked me." She said. "I fell through the window by accident. They nearly gave me a heart attack."
"Why would anyone want to spook a lady such as yourself?" Orchestro asked.
Normally, she would have punched anyone who dared call her a lady, but this was Orchestro. She swooned at his words. "Just some punks." She said.
"Well, if I meet up with these 'punks', I'll be sure to give them a piece of my mind." Orchestro said, huffing in indignation.
"Oh, it was nothing." Ruby said. "I can deal with them myself." She turned for the door. She wanted out of their as soon as possible. It was just too awkward. "I'll let myself out."
Right before she reached it, Orchestro rushed over and opened it for her. "If you must leave, allow me." He said.
Ruby smiled. "Thank you." She said, before quickly stealing a kiss on his cheek. She spread her draconic wings and took off.
'She kissed me.' Orchestro though, holding a hoof to his cheek. 'Ruby actually kissed me.' Suddenly he became frantic. 'What do I do? What do I do? Mother didn't prepare me for this...MOTHER!' He rushed off, towards Carousal Boutique.
Octavia stood absolutely still as Rarity finished up with her dress. "This dress will look absolutely marvelous on you, darling." Rarity said, doing the last couple of stitches.
"I do hope so." Octavia said, in her cultured toned voice. "The Grand Galloping Gala is next week. I don't want to look shabby while performing."
Rarity turned to look at her. "Have I ever done anything shabby?" She said.
Octavia quickly shook her head. "No," She said. "That's why I came to you."
"As you've always done, since you've moved here." Rarity said, looking over her finished project. "There."
Octavia looked over the dress. She smiled. "It's definitely grand." She said, before looking at Rarity. "And my son's suit?"
"He'll look smashing." Rarity said, motioning a hoof to put away her doubts. "Don't worry; mares won't be able to keep their hooves off of him."
At that moment, Orchestro bust through the front doors. "Mother!" He said.
"Orchestro!" Octavia scolded him. "What did I say a proper gentleman does?"
"Knocks first." Orchestro said, his head lowered, but he quickly put it back up. "But I thought this was a good time as any to forgo a few manners."
Octavia raised an eyebrow. "And what would cause you to think so?" She said.
"A girl kissed me." Orchestro nearly shouted.
Both Rarity and Orchestro gasped. "Perhaps I spoke too soon." Rarity said, giggling.
"What should I do?" Orchestro said, going up to his mother. "I've never dealt with girls like this before." He was breathing in and out rapidly.
Octavia nuzzled her son. "Calm down." She said. "Just remember everything I taught you about being a gentleman."
"But what if I'm not...adequate." Orchestro said, looking up at her with pleading eyes.
Octavia stroked a hoof through his mane. "You will be." She said. "Now, who's this mare that's got you so worked up?"
Orchestro looked away and blushed. "I'd rather not say." He said.
"And you can't tell you own mother about her?" Octavia said.
"There, there." Rarity said, trying to diffuse Octavia. "If he wishes to keep it a secret, then it's not right to impose."
Octavia sighed. "Alright, but do invite her to the Gala." She said. "I would love to meet this mare."
Orchestro smiled and nodded. "I will." He said.
Applejack lay down after a hard day's work. Sweat ran off her well-toned body. She had been bucking apples all day. The Gala was just a week away. She wanted to make sure she had enough it for it. 'It's a good thing those city ponies got a likin' to apples now a' days.' She thought smiling. 'Got ta thank the Princess for that.' Suddenly, a large shadow fell over her. She looked up to see Spike fly down, with a large crate of apples. "Seems like we're having a good day." He said.
"Eyup." Applejack replied. "Definitely our best yield of the year."
"Thank you." Spike said, looking proud of himself.
Applejack chuckled. "As if it was ya doin'." She said. "You're pride can be a rather annoyin'"
Spike looked away for a moment. "You talk to me about pride," He said. "Shall I mention the time when you and Soarin…"
He was silenced when a rope flew around his maw, sealing it shut. "Don't ya go talkin' about that." She said, blushing hard.
Suddenly, two small, blond mane, gray coated, colts came flying out of the forest. "Whoo-Whee!" One of them yelled. "That was a mighty fine wind."
"Eyup." The other little Pegasus said. The two colts looked absolutely identical. "I say it helped us a bunch in buckin' those apples."
"Nah, we could have done it without some wind." The first one said.
"I reckon your right." The second one replied. They both turned their attention to Spike and Applejack. "I think we flew right in the middle of something, bro."
"I think we did." The first said, eyeing the rope around Spike's mouth. He flew up to his face. "You been messing with our ma?"
"Now, Ballistic, Ricochet, ya'll best not bother 'im." Applejack said to her twin sons. "It was just a little somethin' between us." She tugged the rope of his jaws.
"Yeah," Spike said, rubbing his jawbones. "Just a little disagreement."
Ballistic eyed him for a moment. "I've got my eye on you." He said, going back to the ground.
"Same here." Ricochet said.
"Now, why'd you two come over here to spy on us?" Applejack said.
"We thought we bucked enough apples for the Gala, ma." Ballistic said.
"I say we made a new record." Ricochet said.
"Shoot, I think we oughta get in that fancy paper they make each year." Ballistic said. "Gotta show them city folk we knows how to live."
"I hear ya." Ricochet said, nodding his head.
Suddenly, Ruby flew up to her father. She looked real frantic. "Tell me the rest of the story." She said, nearly shouting out the plea.
"Hey, not without us." Jessebelle called from behind. Soon, she and Sapphire caught up to them. "Why'd you have to drag us along? It's not like we can't wait till later to hear it."
"But I need to hear the rest now." Ruby said, looking up at Spike. She gave him the puppy dog stare.
Spike couldn't help but simply smile. "Alright, I'll tell you." He said.
"Can you skip to the end?" Ruby said.
"No!" Spike answered. "I'll tell it from start to finish." He turned to Applejack. "Do you mind?"
"Nah, I can sit here an' listen." Applejack said.
"Us too." The twins said, settling down beside their mother.
Spike sighed. "Very well." He said.
She thought. "So, you ready to find Goldhoof?" A scottish voice said.
Spike looked over to see Bond next to him. He jumped up in fright. "What are you doing here?" He said.
"Don't you remember?" Bond said. Spike shook his head. I gave you the signal yesterday."
Bond made several motions with his hooves. He knew Spike must have caught them, for he turned around for a split second. He decided it was best not to repeat himself, cause the little dragon was busy with his mare.
"WAIT!" Pinkie Pie yelled, popping out from a tree branch. "You just had a flashback, inside a flashback."
Suddenly, Cherry Pie jumped up on Spike's head. "Inception!" She said. Cardinal appeared beside Pinkie Pie, with a music box. He hit the play button and a familiar music started playing.
All of a sudden, a tan coated, brown mane colt, came running up to them. "Stop it." He said. "No fourth wall breaking jokes."
The Pythons groaned, turning off the music. Colonel walked up to the new Earth pony. "Well, Mr. author, I don't see you trying to be funny." He said.
"I am funny." Evowizard said. "I am truly funny. I am the author."
"And a sloppy one at that." Colonel said, poking him with his baton. "You upload too infrequently, with all your stories, with little grammar awareness."
"LIES!" Evowizard yelled, raising a hoof in the air dramatically. "I shall hear none of this. Now, go back to the story."
"Why?" Cherry Pie said.
"Because that's why we're all here, sweetie." Pinkie Pie said, stroking her daughter's mane.
"Well, if you put it that way." Evowizard said, rubbing the back of his head. He sighed. "Alright. I've been here long enough." As I walked by, he waved to the dragon. "Hi there, Spike. Hope it doesn't hurt too much." He walked off.
"What did he mean by that?" Spike said, before Soarin flew right into his head.
"SOARIN!" Applejack yelled, rushing to his side.
"DAD!" The two colts flew over to their father.
"Speak to me." Applejack said down to him.
"Can I have another slice of pie?" Soarin said, his eyes spinning in their sockets.
"Yeah, he's fine." Applejack said, helping him onto his hooves.
"Now, this has been all good and fun, and no one enjoys a good joke more than I do." Colonel said. "Except maybe my wife…And my neighbors and I think I should include my cousins…Alright, most people enjoy a good joke more than I do, but let's just continue on with the story. Cue flashback."
"Wha…" Spike was cut off.
Bond groaned. "Alright, I'll just fill you in." He said, looking around to make sure no one was close by. "I'm looking for the notorious criminal, known as Goldhoof and I need your help to find him."
"Why me?" Spike asked.
"It's simple." Bond said. "You want to have the girl. Girls love spies. That and you know this place better than me."
"I'LL DO IT!" Spike yelled.
Bond put his hoof over the little dragon's mouth and pulled him down into the bush. "Shhh." He said. "You want to get killed." The Scottish pony raised his head. "Alright, the coast is clear." He gave Spike a bag. "Put this on." He walked out of the bush. "I do have to say, this may be the last suit you will ever wear."
A moment later, Spike walked out of the bush, wearing a tuxedo. "I look good." He said, smiling.
"Don't get cocky." Bond said, walking through Canterlot. "We still have a job to do." They spent the next several moments, questioning ponies. None of them had seen him.
It wasn't until a half hour later of searching, did Spike see someone like him. He was a tan colored, golden mane, Earth Pony. He was adorned with assortment of gold pieces, he even had golden hooves. "I found him." He said.
Bond looked over and smirked. "We got him," He said. "And you're little marefriend too." Spike blushed as he looked over and noticed Lollipop. She was looking over a few perfume bottles. "Now, I'll take care of him. You are to make sure he doesn't escape." Spike nodded.
Right at that moment, Goldhoof looked over and through the crowd. His eyes widened. "Bond." He said, before turning around and running. Spike jumped onto Bond's back and then he took off. Goldhoof raced through crowd. He wasn't athletic and he knew it. He was using the crowd, in a last ditch hope to lose Bond. But Bond was ready for this tactic. He weaved about, closing the distance. Goldhoof proceeded to turn back and around Bond.
Finally, they got close enough. "I think you can take him." Bond said.
Spike was about to ask him what he meant, when he felt himself being lifted by magic and thrown at Goldhoof. The small dragon landed on his back and gripped his arms around his neck. "Get off of me." Goldhoof said, trying to buck him. Since he was in a large crowd, he accidently hit a couple of ponies. This caused everyone to run away from the scene, allowing Bond ample opportunity. He concentrated on his spell. A large ball of grey energy appeared. He fired it right at Goldhoof. It hit Goldhoof right in the chest, knocking him to the ground. The spy smiled, as he trotted over to Spike. He still had his arms around Goldhoof, his eyes held shut. "It's over."
Spike opened his eyes. He looked down at Goldhoof and smiled. "I did it." He said, standing up. "I took down a villain."
A few ponies, as well as a couple of guards, walked up to them. "Gentlemen." Bond said to the guards. "I present to you the infamous Goldhoof."
"Take him away, boys." The head guard said. The others pulled the evil doer.
"Wow!" Lollipop said, looking over to the scene. She walked up to Spike. "You're a spy."
"Yes, he is," Bond said, winking at Spike. "I couldn't have done it without him."
"Oooh." Lollipop said. "You've got to tell me everything."
Spike felt like he was about to faint. A goofy smile was plastered on his face.
"Dad, you didn't say you were a spy once." Ruby said. "That's so cool."
Spike smirked. "I don't like to brag…" He said.
"He will." Applejack said, cutting him off.
Spike rolled his eyes. "As if." He said. Applejack groaned, facehooving.
"Hey, could I learn that spell?" Ruby said. Spike looked terrified for a moment.
"I don't want to." Sapphire said. "It sounds dangerous."
"Danger's my middle name." Ruby said, pointing a hoof at herself.
"You don't have a middle name." Spike said. "And I should know."
"What's all this now?" Apple Bloom said, walking up to the group. She had certainly grown up to be a beautiful mare. On her back was a little basket.
Applejack smiled and walked over. Gently she lifted the basket off. "How's my little Apple Dumpling doin'?" She cooed to the baby in the basket. "Is she enjoyin' her walk around the apple trees?" The little blue coat, orange mane, filly smiled up at her. It giggled and waved it's two front hooves in the air. Applejack giggled. "She didn't give ya any trouble, did she?"
"Nah, she was an' angel." Apple Bloom said.
"Well, I certainly hope you find a colt of your own soon." Applejack said. "You oughta have a little angel of your own."
Apple Bloom blushed. "Big sis," she said. "I don't need ya to go an' fix me up with no stallion. I'll find him in my own time."
"Sorry, if I'm interrupting," Spike said, lowering his head. "But I think I need to take my girls elsewhere. Don't want this boy stuff filling their heads."
"Well, they're goin' to learn about it one way or the other." Applejack said.
"I choose other." Spike said.
________________________________________________________________________________________________
"Stop teasing people." Pinkie Pie said. "It's not nice."
"For you, I'll stop." I said, smiling at her.
"Don't try anything." Cardinal said, sending a glare my way.
"Hey, I'm not the one who broke the fourth wall." I said.
"You did now." Pinkie Pie said, in a sing song voice."
"Gosh darn it." I scolded myself.
How I Got Your Mother To Love Me
Pinkie Pie paced in front of a large door. Her face showed her troubled demeanor, which was got continually worse, as she heard crying from inside. It wasn't long before Cardinal came around to her. He gently nuzzled her. "How is he?" He asked.
Pinkie Pie shook her head. "No." She said. Cardinal shook her head, sadly. "I'm going to have to make a super duper fun party to make up for this."
"Mommy." Cherry Pie said, poking her head out from under her father's large red hat. Her large eyes were focused on Pinkie. "Is the writer pony okay?"
Pinkie Pie smiled sadly. "Nope." She said. "He's all saddy waddy from not writing often." She then knocked on the door. "Evo! The readers are here."
It was another moment, before I opened the door. I was in pony form, as usual. I had a couple of tears running down my cheeks. "They are?" I asked. Pinkie nodded. I then looked to the readers. "I'm sorry for not uploading anything in a while. I've been so preoccupied with college and getting onto Equestria Daily. Every time I try, they turn me down. I even started a couple of other fanfics that I thought they'd like, but they said no." I sniffled. "I'm sorry for not uploading. I know I should write more, but I'm quite down nowadays."
Cardinal tapped his chin. His eyes then lit up. "I got it." He said. "Why don't we tell them the story of how me and Pinkie got together."
"You'd do that?" I asked. "For me?"
They both nodded. "Of course." Pinkie Pie said, smiling. "That's what friends are for."
"YAY!" Cherry said, jumping up and down on the ground. She then sat down. "A story. I love stories. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me…."
I put my hoof in front of her mouth and chuckled. "No." I said. "Let's let them tell it."
Sugarcube Corner was alive and busy as usual. A large number of cakes and other deserts littered the table. Our favorite pink party pony was there as well, finishing up the touches to a large cake. Pinkie pumped out the last piece of icing and smiled. She looked upon her concoction with pride and hunger. Though, she held the second in check. 'This time.' She thought, giggling.
Just then, she heard a knock on the door. Pinkie went over and opened the door. Ditzy Doo stood there, smiling goofily at her. She was carrying a small, brown box. "Muffingram…" She shook her head. "I mean, telegram…I mean package."
Pinkie Pie just smiled. She knew that Ditzy was somewhat, ditzy, but she didn't pick on her about it. Actually, it made her fun to be around. "Thanks." She said, grabbing the package.
Ditzy saluted. "I'm welcome your happy…I mean glad to be of service." She walked away shaking her head, muttering to herself.
Pinkie could make out some of it, which involved her scolding herself. She sighed, feeling sorry for her friend. She closed the door and then looked at the box. "I wonder what's in it." She said, shaking it a bit. "Oooh, it could be anything. Maybe an invitation to Wonka's." She jumped up and down in excitement, before opening it. She pulled out a little card and squinted her eyes to read it. "I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition."
Suddenly, a loud dramatic music played as a group of red clothed earth ponies came charging in. She noticed one of them had a bandana around his eyes. "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition." He said. "Not even we expect us, that's how good we are."
"I have a question." Kermit The Frog said, interrupting the story. "Why did you send her the note?"
"Oh, it was a slow week." Cardinal said.
"Ladies and gentlemen, our special guest of the evening, Kermit the Frog." I announced. A huge applause swept through the audience. Kermit bowed.
"How'd you manage to get him?" Cardinal asked.
"Eh," I shrugged. "I asked nicely." I answered.
"Uh, why do you have a bandana around your eyes?" Pinkie Pie asked. "Are we playing pin the tail on the pony?" She raised her hoof. "Ooh, ooh, I call first."
The brown Earth pony leader lifted his bandana. "How'd she know?" He asked, before laying his eyes upon her. His jaw dropped, nearly to the ground.
Pinkie tilted her head. "What?" She asked. "Do I have something in my hair? Is there a zombie behind me?" She jumped up in fear. "ZOMBIE!"
The other two cardinals grabbed each other in fear. The leader shook himself out of his daze. "No, you fools." He said to his two companions. "There aren't any zombies." Everyone else sighed in relief. "Now, Cardinal Fang. Read the charges."
He pulled out a large parchment from a pouch on his side. "You are charged with conspiracy against Celestia." Cardinal Fang said.
"How do you plead?" The head Cardinal said.
Pinkie giggled, before gasping. "You're new here. I so have to throw you a party." She said, completely ignoring their question. She went right up to him and smiled. "Hi, I'm Pinkie Pie."
The Cardinal was silent, completely lost in her eyes. "I'm Cardinal Cardinal," He said, taking his hat off. "But you can call me Cardinal."
"I like that name." Pinkie said, staring at him with equal admiration..
Cardinal Fang and Biggles looked at the two and then between themselves. "Uh sir," Biggles spoke up. "Should we question her now?"
"No need." Cardinal held up a hoof. "She's innocent."
The other two cardinals looked worried. "But sir, we always question…" He said, before being silenced by a hoof in the mouth.
Cardinal returned his hoof to the ground. "She's cleared." He said.
"Ahh," Pinkie Pie groaned. "I wanted to go to the hearing."
Suddenly, Cardinal felt a large disturbance in the story. "Our next scene is running." He said. The other two Cardinals ran out of the door. He grabbed Pinkie's hoof, to which she couldn't help but blush. "So, you'd like to go to a hearing, do you?" She nodded. "Well then, would you like to come along with me..." He blushed. "I mean us."
"Oooh, like on a date." Pinkie Pie said.
Cardinal got even redder. "Yes." He squeeked out.
"I'd love to." Pinkie said. "I just finished decorating the cake, so the Cake's won't mind."
"Excellent." Cardinal said, before pulling her along. He then stopped and looked her over. "You don't have a uniform."
"Uniform?" Pinkie said, before jumping up and down. "We're dressing up? I love dress ups."
Cardinal chuckled. "Yup." He said, getting the red uniform and giving it to her. "You're an honarary Python."
Pinkie gasped. "YAY!" She squeeled. She then hugged him. "Thank you."
Cardinal hugged back. "Your welcome." He said, before pulling away.
I wiped away a few tears of joy. "Wow." I said. "You two were made for each other."
"Yup." Cardinal said. "And then nine months later, this little joy came into our lives."
"Nine months?" I asked, quirking an eyebrow.
Pinkie Pie and Cardinal's eyes shifted about. "We...got excited." Cardinal said.
"Super duper excited." Pinkie Pie said, laughing nervously.
"But I don't regret it." Cardinal said, staring at his daughter. She was looking up at them with admiration. He nuzzled Cherry, who giggled.
"Daddy." She said, giggling. "Stop it."
"Not in this life." Cardinal said, continuing to nuzzle her. Pinkie Pie giggled and joined in on tickling their daughter.
I smiled at the scene, before looking at the audiance. "Sorry people for stalling." I said, rubbing the back of my head. "I hope you enjoyed this chapter. And please review and share your opinions. Hey, if you could be nice, I'd like you to check out my other fanfics. I really want to make these stories better for you bronies out there. I really would appreciate the help in showing Seth I can really write. Until next time."
We all waved at goodbye.
How I Got Your Mother To Love Me
Spike walked through the streets of Ponyville, with his three daughters in tow. Because of his large size, he tried making sure he didn't trample any of his neighbors. 'Hopefully, Berry Punch is doing well.' He thought. He cringed a bit, remembering his previous encounter with the town drunk. 'Wow, that's pushing it. Town drunk is taking it too far.' He reprimanded himself.
"Daddy," Sapphire spoke up. "Where are we going?"
Spike lowered his head. "Over to Bon-Bon's sweetie." He told her. "I need to pick up an order for your mother."
"Oooh." Sapphire said.
"Yeah, we know already." Ruby said, rather annoyed. She kept looking around every which way as they strolled through town. "Are we there yet?"
Jessebelle smirked. "Nervous about seeing your coltfriend I see?" She said.
Ruby blushed. "He's not my coltfriend." She said. "I just like him is all. I had a great time over at his place yesterday."
"I bet you were smooching it up." Jessebelle said, before she made kissing motions with her mouth. Sapphire laughed, as Ruby ducked her head away.
"Maybe a little." Ruby said.
"WHAT!" Spike roared, his eyes going wide. His eyes narrowed and smoke fumed out of his nostrils. He looked down at his daughter, who cowered a bit. "You, him, in one place, WHAT?" He looked around town. "Ooh, that boy is so dead."
"Nothing happened." Ruby shot at him.
Spike raised an eyebrow. "Nothing?" He asked. "Nothing at all?" Ruby nodded. Spike stopped fuming and then noticed the scared Ponyvillians cowering, or skittering off. "Ah, it's seems I blew my top again, didn't I?"
The girls nodded. "And you got mad too." Sapphire said, sniffling.
'No, not her.' Spike thought. He never took favorites, but Sapphire was always the most sensitive of the three. He automatically started nuzzling her. "No, don't cry." He said. "Daddy was just being a big meany pants." Sapphire wiped away a tear. "Tell you what. I'll get you all a large bag of treats. Your pick."
Sapphire smiled and hugged him. "Thank you, daddy." She said.
"You're welcome, princess." Spike said.
The screen paused and Princess Celestia walked on screen. She turned to the audience. "Yes, I would like to call your attention to the last statement." She raised a hoof, holding a stick, and pointed it at the last line. "Sapphire is not a Princess, nor does she have any royal blood in her. If she did, she'd be living in Canterlot, in a palace, surrounded by a bunch of..." Celestia snapped out of her daydream. "I mean, servants. I was going to say servants."
"No you weren't." Princess Luna said, walking up to her.
"Quiet sister." Celestia hushed her. "There are kids watching."
Luna looked to the audience. "Wait, we're on T.V.?" She said, before smiling. She waved at everyone. "Hi, faithful followers and or citizens. It is I, your Princess of the night, Luna." Suddenly, her eyes bugged out. "My mane. I should have brushed. Now they all think I have a bed head."
"Sis, our manes don't work like that." Celestia said, before Luna silenced her by raising a hoof.
"I have to go put on my things." Luna said. "Be right back." She ran off.
Celestia face hoofed and motioned for the show to continue.
"And that's why line breaks were made." Pinkie Pie said.
Spike just looked at her. "Okay, why are you here and what does that have to do with anything?" He asked.
"Can't talk now." Pinkie said. "I already had a chapter and I'm also getting a spin off story." She jumped up in the air and cheered. "I'm going to throw the biggest spin off story party ever." She bounced off.
Spike sighed. 'Pinkie is being Pinkie again.' He thought. He continued until he got to Bon-Bon's bakery. She opened the door and smiled at them. "Oh, please come in." She said.
Spike nodded and walked in, with his daughters in tow. "The usual." He said. "And a large bag for each of my girls."
"Will do." Bon-Bon said, before going into the back.
His little girls went over to the counter, looking over the candy. As he looked around, he noticed a familiar brown Earth Pony. "Erwen?" Spike said. "Is that you?"
"And who would..." Erwen said in his usual Australian accent, before taking a good look at Spike. He smiled. "Spike. It's been too long."
"Yeah, it has." Spike said, sitting down beside him. He noticed a mark on his right front leg. "Say, how'd you get that one? I thought you just handled alligators."
Erwen frowned. "Not anymore." He said. "I retired." He raised a glass of milk and drank from it.
"WHAT!" Spike said, rather surprised. "But you loved your job."
"I loved my kids more." Erwen said, slamming his drink into the table. The three girls turned their attention to him. "And I wasn't going to just let them grow up without a father."
Spike was silent for a moment. "Daddy," Sapphire said, tugging on his arm. "Who is he?"
"The name's Erwen." Erwen said. "Back in the day, I was the best wildlife specialist in Equestria. Me and Spike hung out a few times."
"Which I thank you for." Spike said, nodding. A few old memories flashed in his mind.
"So, how'd you get that mark?" Ruby said, pointing to the scar on his leg. "It probably has some cool backstory or something."
Erwen tensed up and Spike saw it. "Ruby." He snapped. "It's not nice to ask questions like that."
"Nah, its fine." Erwen said, raising a hoof to calm him down. "I'll just tell 'em." He turned to the kids. "You see, I was busy filming a documentary. Now, I've done quite a few in my time, so I wanted to do something different. I haven't the slightest idea where I got this idea, but I decided to jump onto a stingray." He hung his head. "Rather stupid in hindsight." He shook his head. "Anyways, right before I was about to jump, a sea serpent crashed into the side of the boat." The girls gasped. "Knocked me right into the ocean. I missed the stingray, but its tail pierced my leg." He wiggled his front leg a bit. "The serpent apologized. He seemed to have had a little too much to drink." He scoffed. "Bloody pirates. They shouldn't go around selling drinks like that to sea serpents, but I'd thank them if I found the ones that sold the serpent his liquor. I wouldn't be here if they hadn't." He sighed. "After that, I just retired, went back home and settled." He pushed his drink away. "I just came to Ponyville for a few things." He looked over at Spike. "But what brings you here?"
"Oh, just some sweets for the wife." Spike said.
Erwen chuckled. "We think alike." He said.
"Not always." Spike said, pointing a finger at him.
Erwen held up his hooves in mock defense. "But it was to impress that sweet lass." He said. "You enjoyed it, remember."
Ruby's eyes sparkled. 'Oh dear.' Spike thought. 'Another story.' "Please tell us." She said.
"I'd be happy too." Erwen said. "It was a sunny day, like any other…"
Erwen sneaked his way through the outskirts of Canterlot. He trailed through the bushes, looking for any stray alligators.
"Stray alligators?" Jessebelle asked, raising an eyebrow. "In Canterlot. Really?"
Erwen nodded his head. "Some ponies think they can keep exotic pets." He said. "It doesn't take too long, before they grow tired of them and throw them away. Those are the most fierce beasts you'll meet. For their hearts are broken."
"That's so sad." Sapphire said, nuzzling against her father for comfort.
"It is." Erwen said. "And it was my job to hunt them down and capture them. You know, to take them to Celestia. She has a big garden where she keeps critters like that. I could take you someday, but I have to warn you. The creatures don't take kindly to ponies and will usually run away."
As he walked along, he came across a young purple dragon. He was just standing there, gazing effectionally at something. He walked over and sat next to him. He followed the lizard's gaze, until he came across a beautiful unicorn. His eyes lit up. 'Say, I recognize her.' He thought, before taking a closer look at the dragon next to him. "Say, I know you." He said.
The young dragon jumped back in fright. "What?" He said. "Oh, it's you. Don't sneak up on me like that."
"Comes with the job." Erwen said, shrugging. "Anyways, how's it going with that gal of yours?"
Spike blushed and looked away. "Still working on it." He said.
"Well, I think I know the perfect way to get her attention." Erwen said.
"What is it?" Spike asked.
"Gator wrestling." Erwen said.
Spike stared at him for a moment. "You're insane." He said, pointing a finger at him.
"Well, you're single." Erwen said.
"Touché." Spike said, crossing his arms.
"Dad," Ruby said. "You didn't tell us you wrestled an alligator. That's so cool."
"It wasn't so cool when that thing kept thrashing about." Spike grumbled.
"That's the best part." Erwen said. "You weren't complaining when she was watching."
"I did afterwards." Spike shot at him. "That and a guilty conscious."
Spike took a deep breath as he walked up to Twilight. 'Okay. I just have to go in and tell Twilight about some gators are by the lake. It's a good thing she's taking a course in Biology.' He thought. Twilight was writing a thesis for the class about alligators, so she played right into his hands.
Twilight looked up from her book as he approached. "Yes, Spike." She said.
"Remember that report you're writing." Spike said, gulping. "The one about gators."
"Yes, what about it?" Twilight said, cocking her head to the side.
Spike had to admit, she was cute when she did that. "Well, there are some gators down by the lake." He said.
"That's perfect." Twilight said, standing up. "What better way to study them then in their natural habitat." She walked over to the bookcase. "I'll just grab some items, get Lollipop, and head down to the lake."
When she wasn't looking, Spike fist pumped. 'Victory.' He thought.
"Little did I know that he'd be there." Spike said, narrowing his eyes. A soft growl escaped his lips.
"Who?" Ruby asked.
"We're getting to him." Erwen said.
Erwen waited for the young dragon to return. "So, did you do it?" He asked. Spike nodded. "Great job." He patted him on the shoulder. "Now, that's done. We can get to work on the gators."
"Uh, shouldn't we wait until Lollipop gets here?" Spike said.
"Well, she's already here." Erwen said, pointing to a pair of unicorn ponies approaching. Spike turned around and his eyes bugged out. He ducked down into a bush. Erwen chuckled. "Stop being a scaredy dragon." He dragged him out of his hiding place. "You need to get over this fear of yours if you want to impress your sheila." Erwen turned back a moment more to spy some unicorn guy coming along. 'Probably some rif raf.' He thought. The three of them got awfully close to the shore.
"So, where's the alligator?" Spike asked, but was answered when a large gator came splashing out of the water and onto the shore. He gasped when he realized the alligator was within a few feet of Twilight and Lollipop. "We have to do something." He grabbed hold of Erwen's leg and shook him.
Erwen just smiled. "All according to plan." He said.
"What?" Spike said. Erwen didn't answer him. Instead, he grabbed hold of him and threw him onto the gator. He landed on its back. The gator thrashed about, walking around in circles, trying to get at him.
"Spike!" Twilight cried in fear. "What are you doing? Get off of that alligator." But Spike wasn't listening. He was too busy hanging onto the gator's tail.
Erwen could see the dragon was having some trouble with the alligator. 'Probably should have chosen one around his size.' He thought. So, he jumped into action, quickly leaping onto the gator's back. He hooked his front hooves around the creature's neck. As the gator thrashed, he noticed a mound of dirt not far away. 'She's nesting. Why didn't I see that earlier? Come on Erwen, you don't normally miss things that obvious.' The gator thrashed its tail against the mound, sending Spike flying onto Twilight and an egg rolling down into the river.
Pinkie Pie sighed, as she lied next to a river. She'd just came back from a pet party and was feeling a bit down. She saw how everyone was having fun with their pets and how much they loved each other. "I wish I had one." She said. "I don't care what it is. I'd love it all the same."
Just then, she noticed a small white sphere roll up on shore next to her. "Huh," She said, walking over to it. The egg started to hatch, cracking the shell around the youngling. Pinkie smiled. "Come out. The world's waiting for you."
The egg broke apart to reveal a baby alligator. Pinkie Pie squeeled in delight and hugged the gator to her body. "Aren't you just the cutest wutest baby gator ever." She cooed. The alligator just stared absentmindedly, before biting her. She giggled, lifting it up so she could see it. "Aww, you don't have any teeth." She said. "But that's okay. Treats are all softy, so you don't need them." She gasped. "You don't have a name yet." She was silent for a moment, something Pinkie Pie rarely did. "I got it. Gummy." She hugged him again. "We're going to be bestest friends forever."
The alligator went back into the water. Erwen wiped his brow. "Whooo, that gator put up a doozy of a fight." He said. He looked over at the group. "Are you all okay?"
They nodded. "Fine." Twilight said, before looking at Spike. "What were you thinking, taking on a fully grown alligator. You could have gotten killed. You are grounded, young dragon. You will stay in the library for the next week." She hugged him. "I couldn't live with myself if that happened."
"I say it was really brave." Lollipop said. The gray, white maned unicorn scoffed. His cutie mark was ship. "Oh, you're just jealous."
"Umm, who's he?" Spike asked.
Before he could answer, the alligator burst out of the water at full speed. Its jaws were opened wide, as it lunged at them. The new unicorn narrowed his eyes. His horn sparked into life. The gator stopped in mid charge while, it's body was held by his magic. The next moment, it was flung back into the water. The girls then huddled against him.
"That was amazing." Twilight said.
"I've never seen anything like it." Lollipop said.
"It wasn't that impressive." Spike said, narrowing his eyes.
"That was downright mean of him." Erwen said. "She was just protecting her eggs."
"Oh, sorry about that." The unicorn said, but his tone carried a hint of sarcasm. Erwen growled. "The names Khan by the way." He lent out a hoof, but Erwen didn't take it. "Charmed."
"He's asked me to the Grand Galloping Gala this year." Lollipop squeeled in delight.
Spike's eyes went wide. "What?" He said.
"Yeah." Khan smirked. "I did."
"I wish some colt would take me there." Twilight said, sighing.
"Don't worry." Lollipop said. "I'm sure some stallion would see past your eggheadiness." She giggled.
Twilight frowned and sent her a small glare. "Thanks." She said.
"You're welcome." Lollipop said, as she and Khan walked away.
Erwen looked to Spike who was standing motionless. "Umm, are you okay?" He asked.
Spike nodded. "I just need a moment." He said. Erwen and Twilight left. Spike took a deep breath and yelled. "KHAN!"
Meanwhile, on the moon. Nightmare Moon was cackling. "And after I defeat my sister, I shall banish her to the sun." She said. "Let's see how she like it."
"KHAAAN!" A loud voice carried about.
Nightmare Moon looked about. "What was that?" She said, before holding a hoof to her head. "Get it together girl. You're loosing it. Now, you're hearing voices." She stomped a hoof onto the moon surface. "But I haven't lost it."
She turned a large rock. "Have I Rocky?" She asked, knowing the answer was no. Her eyes went wide. "What do you mean yes? I'm not crazy…What do you mean talking to a rock is ludicrous." She then put her hooves over her ears. "LALALA, I'm not listening. LALALALA!"
"Wow!" Ruby said. "You must have been mad."
"I was furious." Spike said, before he grinned. "But that wasn't the last time I would see him."
"Nor would it be the last time we'd meet." Erwen said. He then got up and grabbed a bag by his chair. "Well, it's been nice talking with you, old friend. See you around."
"Yeah, see you." Spike said.
"Oh, and be sure to show us some of your moves." Ruby called after him.
"Will do." Erwen said.
"Not the dangerous ones." Spike said.
"Wouldn't dream of it." Erwen answered.
"Another chapter bites the dust." I said.
Pinkie Pie appeared next to me with a music player. She pushed the button and played the song.
"Another one bites the dust." It sang.
I quickly turned it off. "No, we are not doing that this chapter." I said. "The fourth wall breaking will be kept to a minimum."
"Ahh, but where's the fun in that?" Pinkie Pie said.
"Yeah," Discord appeared. "Where's the fun in that?"
"You're not supposed to be here yet." I said, pointing a hoof at him. "That's for another chapter." I put my hooves over my mouth.
"Spoilers." Discord said, before he chuckled. He disappeared.
I growled, glaring dagger at him. "DISCORD!" I yelled shaking a hoof in the air in rage.
How I Got Your Mother To Love Me
Pinkie and Cardinal waved at the viewers from behind a neat desk. She had tears in her eyes as she smiled. "Oh my gosh, you're back. I mean, we're back. I mean...I missed you all."
Back in the real world...or the real world of this story. Octavia trotted up the side of the mountain. She had to talk to Spike about her son. Yes, he was a responsible colt, but Spike was renound as a possesive of his daughters and she would make sure that he did nothing to her special boy. She was panting slightly as she finally reached the cave's entrance.
*several years ago*
Spike was idly walking the streets of Canterlot. Occasionally, ponies would stop to stare. He was a dragon after all, and they weren't common in Equestria. But he didn't care. Lollipop was the only thing that took up his thoughts. Her mane, her smile, the way she walked. She was just so tantalizing. He was so caught up about thinking of her, that he didn't notice a flottery pot fall down from a nearby building. In fact, he didn't even react right away, when it smashed right in front of him. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed, jumping up several feet in the air.
"Well..." Octavia said. "I don't know what to say." She looked over the pair. "You make an...interesting couple."
"HEY!" Resistance Pinkie said. "This chapter was a ripoff. We didn't even get to see Spike's kids or Lollipop."
