Talking In Circles
Twilight Sparkle danced in place excitedly, quietly cheering so she didn't wake a sleeping Spike. She had recently been researching pony anatomy; more specifically, the vocal chords. Now all she needed was a voice sample from two different ponies to compare, and she'd reach a potential breakthrough! Wearily, Twilight slowly came to a stand-still and glanced at the clock.
''Woah, it's only...7 AM...'' She muttered to herself. and instantly she realized how weak it sounded. Why? It wasn't like she'd been up all nig-
Twilight's legs turned to jelly for a moment, sapping all her strenght, and she wobbled uncertainly before righting herself and looking over to the clock again.
''Wait a minute...I started researching at eight 'o clock last night...right? Is...Is my clock wrong?''
The confused unicorn trotted over to the wallclock residing above her desk, and twisted it around to check the batteries. Sure enough, they were lodged into the ridges firmly.
Slowly, Twilight came to rest on her haunches, her ears drooping. Groaning, she slowly dragged herself from the floor and up the stairs to her bedroom. Moments later, loud snores could be heard as Twilight let go of reality.
''Twilight..''
Twilight simply grunted, wanting nothing more than to continue sleeping.
''Twilight?''
Nothing.
The source of the voice gave an impatient sigh. ''Twilight, your favourite books are burning.''
In one swift motion, the now wide-awake unicorn rolled from her bed. She glanced around wildly, horn flaring in preparation to summon some water. Slowly, her thought proccesses returned to normal. Turning her head, she glared at Spike.
''Not. Funny.''
''Well..hehe, I thought it was!''
Grumbling under her breath, Twilight trotted downstairs. Glancing around, she recalled her revelations last night, and couldn't help giving an excited squeal. So close! All she needed was for a voice sample. Twilight made the swift decision to ask the next pony she saw. She turned to the door, ready to leave...
''Hiya Twilight! My ear was twitching, and that meant somepony needed me!''
..or she could stay here and get a voice sample from Pinkie.
Twillight clopped her hooves excitedly. ''Great timing, Pinkie! I need somepony to provide a voice sample for me. Stay right here...''
A few moments later, Twilight returned with a semi-glowing box levitating it in front of her. She noted Pinkie eyeing it curiously, and decided to explain.
''It's an enchanted music box. When somepony speaks into it, it will record that message and play it whenever opened. Understood?''
''Yup! So, do I just speak?''
Twilight nodded. ''Just describe your day to me, okay?''
Pinkie smiled wider than Twilight had thought possible, cracked her hooves, and began to talk.
''Well, it's been a fairly normal day so far! I woke up, changed Pound Cake's nappy, and then my ear started twitcha-twitching! Like I said before, that meant that somepony needed me, but I didn't know who! So I read ahead a little, and saw I had to come here! So I did, and you asked me to describe my day, and I said...''
Twilight had stopped listening after the second sentence, snapping the box shut with her magic. She took out a seperate one, and spoke into it, repeating exactly what Pinkie had said.
''Well, it's been a fairly normal day so far! I woke up, changed Pound Cake's nappy, and then my ear started twitcha-twitching!''
Twilight closed the box, and smiled in triumph - a smile that slowly faded as she realized her friend was still talking.
''Pinkie?''
Her friend took no notice, even when Twilight waved a hoof in front of her eyes. She stood silent for a moment, deciding to listen to her friend's rambling.
''...describe my day, and I said ''Well, it's been a fairly normal day so far!..''
Twilight stared at her friend in shock. Was she....
She listened again, but her observing yielded the same results;
Her friend, with a voice that grew more and more annoying the more it was heard, was stuck on auto loop. In a library. When she needed to concentrate.
''Damn it!'' Twilight stomped her hoof, snarling at no-pony in particular. This was going to be a long day.
''So, yer sayin' that Pinkie's gone an' got herself into a talkin' loop, an' won' stop? Inside a library?''
Twilight nodded. That was pretty much it.
''...Twiligh', Ah feel sorry for yah.''
''So you'll help me?''
'''Course Ah will! Ah'm one of yer PFF's!''
Twilight gave her friend a relieviled smile, glad that she wasn't alone in this.
''Follow me.'' She said, leading the way into the libraby.
''..changed Pound Cake's diaper...''
Twilight turned to Applejack, trying to block out Pinkie. ''Here's the plan. You try to shut her up, and I'll see if I can find what's wrong with her.''
Applejack nodded, and turned to Pinkie Pie. She stood there for a while, trying to figure out how to go about ''shutting up'' her friend. Sighing, she sat down.
Deciding to start off simple, she tested whether Pinkie could actually hear anything, or was just in a trnce.
''Right Pinkie Pie. If y'all can hear me, nod.''
The pony nodded slightly in-between her sentences, and Applejack thought she saw a flash of desperation appear in her eyes before they glazed over again.
''So, y'all are stuck like this? Ya ain't playin' a dumb prank or nothin'?''
The tiniest of head-shakes confirmed that Applejack wasn't getting out of this easily.
''Good. So...Uh, Ah guess try and shut yer muzzle. Ya' can't talk if yer trap's shut, can ye?''
Pinkie gave a slightly bigger nod this time, and did just that.
''So I said....'' Her mouth snapped closed. Applejack sighed in relief. Simple! Now ah can get back to prunin' the tree-
.
Of course, it wasn't that simple.
''...I..said..''Well, it's been a fairly normal day so far!''...''
Groaning, Applejack ruled out 'closing her mouth'. She doubted that even she'd be able to stop her mouth from moving - Pinkie had nearly been sweating with the effort, and she could be stronger than all five of the others put together when she was determined.
Applejack paused for a moment, trying to come up with another idea. She hoped Twilight had found what had happened - and the cure.
''Applejack! Look!''
The perfectly-timed unicorn came flying across the room, levitating a book in front of her. She pushed it in front Applejack's face, and gave her a moment to read.
Rare and Unusual Pony Ailments.
One of the most unusual things to ever happen to a pony on our team was when they somehow trapped themselves in an never-ending loop of talking. We discovered that this is the cause of an incredibly rare 'disease', and scientists have almost no info on how it occurs. They do, however, have an idea for a cure.
When used on a volunteering pony, the 'Non Stop Talking' spell can only be broken by another pony (or by the unicorn casting it). They have to get the pony to stop talking, either by making them feel a strong, sudden emotion, or by a trigger.
Twilight looked at Applejack, a look of grim determination on her face.
''This will be a long day, won't it?'
Applejack sighed. ''Eeyup. Ah'll go get the others.''
''Oh, my! I'll come right away! Angel, you're in charge while I'm gone''
''Pinkie is in trouble? I'll be right over! Flight practice will have to wait!''
''Oh. Applejack, darling, could you help me fit this dre- wait, something is wrong with Pinkie? Oh, no! Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!''
Applejack led the three into the library, where the victim sat where she had been sitting for the past few hours, speaking the words she had been repeating for the past few hours. She turned back to her friends, who all looked very confused. She realized she'd neglected to actually explain the problem, and sighed.
''Uh, what's wrong? All I see is Pinkie talking...''
''Yes, I have to agree with Rainbow. If you're having problems getting her to stop talking, just wave a hoof in front of her
eyes!''
''Or just give her a good buck!''
''Rainbow!
''What?' It'd work?''
''Well, it's not very..well, ladylike, is it?''
Rainbow sighed and turned away from Rarity, turning her attention the Applejack instead.
Applejack quickly explained the problem.
''So..She can't stop talking?''
''Nope.''
''Oh, that must be terrible for her! Her mouth must be so dry!''
Applejack nodded. ''Well, we can worry 'bout that later, but right now we need to get her to stop. Accordin' to Twilight's book, we can either find a trigger, or make her feel a real strong emotion.''
Fluttershy gently glided over to Pinkie, and beckoned Applejack over. Leaning towards the party animal, she whispered into her ear words that would surely shock her out of her daze.
''Oh, Pinkie, I'm sorry, but Princess Celestia has outlawed parties.''
Pinkie Pie instantly reacted, recoiling away from Fluttershy. Her eyes watered, and her mouth stopped working.
Fluttershy couldn't bare to see her friend like this. ''Oh, Pinkie! It - it's not true, really! I just wanted to get you to stop talking!''
Pinkie looked at Fluttershy, hurt and confusion filling her watering eyes. ''What? All I did was describe my day!'' Her voice lost it's semi-depressed tune as Pinkie's optimism re-filled her happy supplies.
''Well, at least I have something to add to my story!''
Without thinking, she launched back into her recount of the day. Quickly, her eyes unfocused as she became lost in her words.
The four mares slowly turned to look at each other, eyes slowly widening as they realized all they'd done was reset her ramblings.
''H-how does that even work?'' Fluttershy asked, looking miserable.
''Ah have no idea, sugarcube.''
''Well, can't you try telling her that parties are banned again?'' Rarity asked desperately.
''Ah doubt tha' she'd listen. She ain't dumb.''
''Can't you just, like, knock her out?'' Rainbow asked.
Applejack looked at her as though she were an idiot. ''Rainbow, we don't want to hurt Pinkie.''
''But what if it works?''
Applejack sighed. ''Tha's not the point - like Ah said just then, we don' want to hurt her. An' if it doesn't work, it'll be like kickin' her while she's down.''
Rainbow rolled her eyes. ''Honestly AJ! She's Pinkie. She'll survive.''
With that, the cyan pegasus flew over to her friend and gave her a mighty kick.
''She's coming back to us!''
''Oh, thank goodness! I thought she might be...''
''S'okay Fluttershy. She's still tickin'. Ah don't know what we would've done to Dash if she wasn't.'' Applejack glared at the azure pony in the corner that was still out cold from the bucking she received after she executed her 'carefully thought out plan.'
The pink pony opened her blue eyes groggily, and after glancing around, opened her mouth.
The surrounding ponies gasped. Would she be okay? Would she make sense? Would Applejack get back to her tree pru-?
''Well, it's been a fairly normal day so far! I woke up, changed Pound Cake's diaper....''
The group groaned, and Rarity fainted. Well, they think she fainted - nopony ever really knows when it comes to Rarity.
The group turned to Rarity, who was still lying on her summoned chair. One of her eyes fluttered open, and upon seeing Applejack, Fluttershy and Twilight - who had came running out when she heard them groaning - staring at her.
Smiling sheepishly, she stood up and dismissed the couch.
''Sorry about that everypony.''
Applejack facehoofed, and turned to Twilight. ''Y'all come up with any good ideas?''
Twilight shook her head. ''We could tell her Discord is back, but I think she won't believe us.'' She looked at Rarity. ''You got anything, Rarity?''
''Afraid not dear. Although...'' The white unicorn got up and trotted over to Pinkie, her eyes narrowed in thought. While she did this, Rainbow finally woke up and dragged herself over to Twilight, Fluttershy and Applejack.
Finally, Rarity turned her attention back to the four ponies.
''Nope!''
The five ponies sat in a circle, silence filling the air as they wracked their brains for options. They'd tried telling her a sad story that had Fluttershy and Rarity in floods of tears, yet all they got from Pinkie was a tiny sniffle that was quickly swallowed up by her words.
They'd tried pretending to murder Twilight - but nopony had anticipated her acting would be as bad as her dancing.
Eventually though, Twilight remembered that she was the student of Princess Celestia, and sent her mentor a letter.
After an hour of anxious waiting, they finally got a response.
Twilight frantically ripped the letter open, and began to read.
To my faithful student Twilight Sparkle.
I am afraid Pinkie Pie has contracted a rare case of 'Loopitus'. As the book you described in your letter explains, there is no known cure, and the theories are just that - theories.
I also regret to inform you that your friend may not-''
Twilight cut herself off, shaking horribly. She collapsed onto the floor and began to sob uncontrollably.
Applejack glanced at Rarity worriedly as Rainbow darted over to Twilight and snatched the parchment from her hooves. Her eyes scanned the rest of the letter quickly, her fearful expression slowly turning to sadness. Her whole body seemed to go limp, her wings and arms dropping as the letter fell to the floor.
Rainbow slowly raised her head, tears falling from her eyes.
''We...We're going to lose her, guys. She...She's going to starve...''
Once again, the five sat in a circle surrounding their condemned friend. Pinkie, who hadn't heard the news over the sound of her own voice, looked at each of them curiously.
Suddenly, her eyes closed. All five watched as she slowly got to her feet and made her way to Twilight. She looked at her wide scared eyes, and nudged her horn.
Instantly, Twilight burst into floods of tears, and her friends followed suit.
''Please, please please PLEASE stop, Pinkie!''
Twilight and the others huddled around their friend.
Rarity sniffed, and stroked her friend's mane. ''The poor dear..Starving to death, when one of her hobbies is eating!''
''N-never eat cake again?! NOOOO!''
Twilight wailed loudly, almost making the others jump. ''Why?! She's so young!''
''I'm only twenty-one! Waaaaah!''
Rainbow, who had been desperately trying to hide her tears, felt her strong emotional barriers break. She felt sadder than the day she'd been told she wouldn't be able to fly for a good four weeks, and had to spend half that time sitting around doing nothing.
''Pinkie..She'll never experience love!''
Rainbow's outburst shocked the rest of them out of their tears - or maybe it was the fact that they'd all slowly realized that, if they took away the loud wails, they couldn't hear anything..
Pinkie simply smiled. ''Eenope! Incorrect answer, Dashie! I had a coltfriend way before I came to Ponyville!''
Twilight looked at Pinkie, then to the place where she had been seated during her ordeal, then back to the grinning pony.
She facehoofed, and passed out.
Pinkie gave her a confused look. ''What? All you had to do was ask me to stop!''
Fin.
A.N.
What is it with me and comedy?
Anyway...Here it is! A pinkalicious story for the lovers of SQUEE!
You see what I did there? >:D
