Rainbow Dash had never looked up at the sky.
It was an odd thought, all things considering, that crossed her mind as she winged her way above Ponyville. Pegasi were the masters of the air in Equestria. Why would they ever look up? It seemed silly to waste seconds staring into something that you controlled. Those seconds could be better spent doing something awesome, like cloud busting, or day-saving, or Rainbooming.
But stargazing? Never.
Rainbow frowned at this, and dipped her wings to the side, gracefully banking east, toward Golden Oaks Library. The sun beat down on her back and wings, the sleek feathers glistening in the warm rays. All the thatched roofs and cracked brickwork of the little village came alive in the sunlight, turning into a sea of calming yellows and gentle cream. Several ponies below shielded their eyes with a hoof and looked skyward, giving a friendly smile and wave. A hint of her trademark smirk crept up on her, and she couldn’t resist doing a little twirl as she passed by, eliciting whoops from the foals and good-natured chuckles from their respective adults.
Heh. Gets em’ every time.
The gnarled old tree looked as worn as ever as she approached. It struck Rainbow suddenly that she had no idea how old the library was, or even who had built it. The thought troubled her somewhat, returning her frown and making her touchdown a little less graceful than she would have liked. It shouldn’t have mattered so much, but for some reason, it did. To her, the library was always just...there. In the center of town. It was a constant. It existed because there was a library in Ponyville, and there was a purple unicorn - alicorn, she reminded herself - that lived in it.
Her train of thought ended abruptly as she practically smacked into the front door of the tree.
She shook her head to clear it. C’mon. You’re THE Rainbow Dash. Since when did you start thinking?
Since libraries existed in the center of town, her mind replied. Raising a hoof, she rapped three times on the door. From within there was a sigh and a scraping of chair legs. Muffled hoofsteps drew closer to the door, and a warm voice rang out from inside the library.
“Really, girls, I know you like spending time with me, but you were already here earlier toda - Oh, hello Rainbow Dash!”
Twilight Sparkle’s smile was radiant. She pulled the door open wider, her wings fluttering slightly at her sides. Dash smiled in return.
“Hiya Twilight.”
“What can I do for you?” Twilight asked.
“Hm? Oh, I came by to do the whole star...watching thing. You invited me, remember?”
Twilight blinked. She glanced to the left, to the right, and then finally upwards.
“Um. Dash? It’s, uh, it’s the middle of the day.”
Rainbow looked around at the bright sunlight. “Oh. Yeah, I knew that. I was just flying around, and I was bored, so I decided to stop by here. You know, just hang around until dark.”
Twilight’s eyebrow cocked, her brow furrowed. “You came to the library because you were bored,” she said slowly.
“Uh, yeah. Is that okay?”
Rainbow could hear the gears whirring around in Twilight’s head. Rainbow’s eyes drifted, lazily examining the worn woodwork above Twilight’s head. She blinked. Holy hay, is she taller? She is definitely taller now, and her horn is pointier too, when did that happ-
“Rainbow?”
She shook her head to clear it. “Uh, sorry, what?”
“I just asked if you wanted to come in,” Twilight said.
“Oh. Okay, sure.” Rainbow followed Twilight into the library, her eyes focused on the alicorn’s horn. Maybe she just filed it? That’s a thing unicorns do, right?
She thought about asking Twilight about it, but some part of her held back. She didn’t want to seem insensitive. Instead she shook her head and looked around the library, the smell of old paper and something earthy besides tickling her nose. A smile touched her lips, and she inhaled deeply. A few years ago she would have loathed to admit that she enjoyed someplace as dull as a library, but time and several installments of Daring Do books had earned it a special place in her heart. It was just so...warm.
"Sorry about the mess. I didn't realize I'd be having company."
Rainbow scrunched her nose and squinted at one of the myriad of scrolls and sketches that littered the library. "No big deal, Twi. What is all this stuff, anyway?"
A red glow surrounded a pile of the papers and spirited them away into a neat stack. "Charts, mostly. This is a major astronomical event, you see, I wanted to know the exact celestial positioning of-"
"Stars and stuff, gotcha," Rainbow said dismissively, already wandering towards the orderly shelves. "Hey Twi, you got any copies of the-"
"-new Daring Do book, yes, Rainbow. Daring Do and The Last Trumpet. Third shelf down, fifth row. And please, for pony's sake, don't dogear the pages again. These ones are in very good condition."
That brought a wider smile to her face. "Pff. Egghead," she muttered.
"I heard that!"
"I'm sure ya did."
Rainbow trotted further back into the library, not needing to turn around to see the ferocity of the eye-rolling the Princess was giving her. Grabbing the book in question - exactly where Twilight had said it'd be, of course - she settled down into a comfy position and began to read.
A soft and familiar silence spread over the library, broken in places only by Twilight's rustling and muttering as she prepared her notes for the stargazing. Normally, with a good book in hoof, Rainbow would've welcome quiet like this, but left alone with her thoughts a sense of unease crept into her chest, pooling like a dead weight. She frowned.
You could tell her, you know. About of all of it.
She considered this, her eyes flitting in the direction of the purple alicorn.
No. Not yet.
The hours ticked by in quietude. By the time darkness fell, Rainbow Dash had gotten through one-hundred and sixty-five pages of her novel, and she could not remember a word of what she had read.
* * *
The night was a cool one, as it happened. After the warmth and light of the library, the relative chill of the air almost penetrated Rainbow's pegasus coat, making her tighten her wings to her barrel. Her friend fared only slightly worse, shivering as she walked beside Rainbow. She gave the Princess an apologetic smile, and leaned against her as the two made their way up the grassy hill.
The spot they picked was just about perfect. There weren't many ponies there that Rainbow could see. The sparse few that had come out we're scattered around the field, lying on their backs, murmuring softly or one another. More than few couples were present, their giggles and nuzzling giving them away. Must be a romantic occasion, Rainbow mused.
It didn't take long for Rainbow and Twilight to get settled, and soon they too sprawled out on the grass. Rainbow made sure to spread her wings out beneath her; grass blades were a nightmare to preen from between feathers. The night sky was gorgeous, a glittering tapestry of starlight spread across the vast expanse of darkness. Her eyes caught something else, though, and she frowned.
"Hey, uh, Twi? Do you think we should move? There's a big honkin' cloudbank blocking our view."
Twilight shook her head dismissively, her mane swishing to and fro. "No, that's intentional. Princess Luna wanted a big reveal of sorts. I think she got in touch with the local weather team to arrange it."
"Really?" Rainbow's brow furrowed. "I worked these past couple days. I must not have caught the memo..."
"I guess not." Twilight said idly, though there was something in her tone that Rainbow couldn't quite place.
Shaking her head, she returned her eyes to the sky. "Well whatever it is, it's must be pretty awesome. That's a lot of clouds."
Twilight shot her a sidelong glance. "'Whatever it is'? You were paying attention when I was explaining all of this earlier, right?"
Rainbow's teeth flashed in the darkness. "Hanging onto every word, Princess."
Twilight rolled her eyes and shifted on her back. Silence enveloped them again, with only the chirruping of the crickets and the whispering of the stargazers to keep them company. Rainbow was about to make some sort of snide comment about the couples below when Twilight's voice cut through again.
"What's wrong, Rainbow Dash?"
Rainbow looked over in surprise. Twilight wore a placid expression, her eyes not leaving the clouds. The pegasus swallowed and smiled weakly.
"Heh. What do you mean, Twi? Nothing's wrong."
"Liar."
Rainbow blanched as if struck. Twilight's expression hadn't changed. It wasn't an accusation, it was a statement. Exhaling shakily, Dash turned back over, her eyes roaming everywhere but toward her friend next to her.
The alicorn pressed onward. "I've known you for almost 4 years, Rainbow. That's more than enough time to figure out when something's eating at you. You've been quiet. Distant. You weren't listening to a word I was saying in the library, and I watched you reading the same page in that Daring Do book over and over again. It's not like you, Rainbow." Here Twilight finally turned to face Dash, concern plain on her face. "What is it that's bothering you?"
Rainbow sucked in another breath. They were in the middle of an open field, but she felt trapped somehow. "It's complicated," she whispered.
"Even for me?"
Rainbow licked her lips. "Maybe."
Twilight stretched her hoof across the grass, brushing against Rainbow's outstretched wing. "We'll never know unless you tell me Rainbow. Please. I'm the Princess of Friendship, remember? This is what I'm meant to do. What I want to do."
Dash said nothing, folding her hooves to her chest, her brow furrowed and her gaze fixed. Twilight withdrew her hoof silently. It occurred to her that she had never seen her bold pegasus friend look so small.
The silence stretched around them. Twilight was sure that Rainbow had said all that she would on the subject, and was about to let it go when the pegasus spoke up again, her voice rasping.
"Did you know that I'm not an only child, Twi?"
Now it was Twilight's turn to look surprised, glancing sideways at her friend.
"Uh...no, I didn't. You have sisters?"
A rare smile cracked Rainbow Dash's face. "Nah, no, brothers. three of them, if you'll believe it. I was the only girl."
"Wow. That's quite uncommon."
"That's what we always heard, the four of us. Not that we ever listened, of course. Too busy scrapping and fighting to pay attention to much else. Man, we got in so much trouble back then." Dash's smile deepened somewhat as she reminisced. "I'd always get dogpiled at the end of the day cuz I'd get them in deep. Whenever I would steal from the cookie jar or break a window playing cloudball, all it took was a little pout and some puppy dog eyes to get my mom and dad after them."
Rainbow chuckled, shaking her head, her eyes drinking in the night sky. "Stars, I was trouble. I was quite the little liar. Heh. Guess that explains why I got Loyalty instead of Honesty, huh?" She laughed again, but then paused for a moment, her expression sobering somewhat. "Never did go back and apologize to them, now that I think about it," she murmured.
Twilight blinked in confusion. "Well, I'm sure-"
"But it wasn't just them, you know," Rainbow said suddenly. If she had heard Twilight, she didn't show it. "I can't tell you how many times I'd get assigned to some thankless task on the Weather Patrol that I couldn't stand doing, and just tell the boss that I had to go. 'Official Elements business', I'd tell him. Straight from the Princess, I'd say. Real important stuff."
"Dash, you-"
"And then just last year, Fluttershy invited me to watch some kind of butterfly migration or something." Rainbow's face was creased with worry, now. Her eyes were open, but they were looking straight up, focused on something deep in the starlit sky.
Twilight finally had a chance to interject. "I remember that! You left to go visit your mother in the hospital," she said. "Some kind of pegasus disease, right? Everypony was so relieved when you-"
"My mom was fine, Twilight," Rainbow cut in. "She was fine. I didn't go to the hospital, I went to spend a couple nights with an old friend of mine in Cloudsdale. We had a good time, even. Laughing it up like idiots." She said bitterly.
Twilight fell silent after this.
"So that's what's bothering you?" She murmured. "That you've lied in the past?"
Dash squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head. "No. Not just the lying. It's the lying and boasting and just how easy it is, Twilight." Her eyes opened, and they burned in the cool air. "I can look ponies in the eye, and lie to them, and it's easier than breathing. I can act like a total jerk, even to my friends, and it just comes naturally. Like it's who I am. It scares me, Twilight."
"What does? That you're not honest, or humble?" Twilight asked tentatively.
"That I'm not good, Twilight." Rainbow whispered, her eyes glistening. She blinked, and two beads snaked a dark trail down her cheeks. "That I'm not....not a good pony." Her throat clenched, and her voice sounded strangled. "I don't want that. Stars, I don't want that, Twilight, I don't want to be a bad pony. I-I...I don't want to hurt you g-guys...I don't..."
Rainbow sucked in another shuddering breath, her sides heaving. More hot tears spilled from the corner of her eyes, tracing more trails and falling onto the cool grass like dew.
"Rainbow...look..."
She opened her eyes blurrily. "W-what?"
Twilight was staring open mouthed into the sky. Turning to follow her gaze, Rainbow saw why, and her own jaw fell open.
The clouds had been parted, and the heavens had come alive.
A huge, nebulous cloud sprawled across the night sky. Every color imaginable danced within its depths, spread and dashed across the firmaments like so many strokes of paint. Glittering gold and orange mixed with deep reds and greens, merging and mixing seamlessly in the inky blackness. There were quiet gasps from the onlookers in the field. Even the nuzzling couples broke apart to gaze at the mosaic in the sky, stunned by its beauty and size.
Rainbow Dash stared wide eyed, the gorgeous sight reflected in her ruby eyes. "What...what is it, Twi?"
"It's called the Large Magellenic Cloud, Rainbow. It's a whole other galaxy, made of stars just like our Sun."
"It....it must be h-huge..." Dash said in a small voice.
Twilight looked over at her friend, and then back to the Cloud.
"Well...yes, it is. It's vast, almost incomprehensibly so. It's made up of billions and billions of stars. In some ways it's filled to the brim, and in others, it's void and empty. It's...complicated, you could say." She said thoughtfully.
Rainbow's eyes finally tore themselves aways from the Cloud, looking down at herself.
Twilight pressed on. "But it's also beautiful."
Dash looked up at her questioningly. The alicorn bore a warm smile.
"It's beautiful, and we cherish every moment we have with it. Because life wouldn't be as bright without it. Without the color it brings to us."
Rainbow shook her head despondently. "I...I'm not-"
Before she could finish, she found the purple alicorns hooves encircling her, one of the Princess' wings draping over her. "Yes, you are, Rainbow Dash..." Twilight murmured. "You are beautiful, and I love you for it. We all love you for it."
Rainbow shuddered, and her voice choked up again, tears welling up in her eyes. "B-but...I'm always s-such a jerk to you guys, I don't- I don't deserve..."
Twilight shh'd her softly, and held her close, letting the pegasus cry into her chest. After a moment, she whispered to her friend. "It's okay, Rainbow. It's all okay. I know it's difficult. I know it is. But you don't have to do it alone. You're never alone, Rainbow Dash. Do you understand that?"
Rainbow nodded weakly, sniffing. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Twilight..." Rainbow whispered. "I love you guys more than anything in the world. I want to be b-better...for your s-sake, if not for mine..."
Twilight smiled softly, her own eyes glistening. "You will, Rainbow." She murmured. "You will."
And so saying, she rocked back and forth slowly, holding the pegasus tight.
The two friends held each other under the glittering canopy of stars, and kept the cold away.
* * *
A soft knock roused Rainbow from a wonderful nap in her cloud home above Ponyville.
Yawning quietly, she got up from her couch and trotted to the door, stretching her stiff limbs catlike along the way. Pulling open the door brought a warm smile to her face.
"Hey Fluttershy! What's up?"
The timid yellow pegasus scratched at the cloud beneath her with her hoof. "Oh, um, hello Rainbow Dash. Did I disturb you?"
"Nah, I was just getting up anyway." Rainbow waved her hoof dismissively.
"Oh, uh, are you sure? Because I could come back later if you'd like..."
Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Relax, Shy. You're not disturbin' nopony. Now what's on your mind?"
The pink haired mare brightened up at this, her wings fluttering at her sides. "Oh, well you see Rainbow Dash, I know you missed it last year, so I was, uh, wondering if you'd like to come for the...well, the..."
Rainbow cocked an eyebrow.
Fluttershy winced and finished in a quiet rush. "...the annual Butterfly Migration?"
Dash blinked, seeming somewhat taken aback.
Fluttershy started apologizing almost on instinct. "Oh, uh, that's alright Rainbow, I should've known you wouldn't be interested, I was just wondering..."
Rainbow shook her head, breaking out into a grin. "Hey, you know what, Shy? That sounds great!"
The yellow mare gasped, floating a few feet into the air. "Oh my goodness, really?" She exclaimed, her eyes wide.
Rainbow stopped for a moment, and her smile softened into something more determined, more confident.
"Of course, Flutters! I'd love to." Rainbow declared.
The mare beamed, and Rainbow smiled inwardly as well, knowing without a doubt, that she was telling the absolute truth.
And that was good enough for her.
Author's Note
A story I wrote about a friend, a song, and a pathetic attempt to emulate one of my favorite authors here, Cold in Gardez.
